Original subtitles

I knew from our first date, at the dolphin encounter,

you looked so hot.

Oh, he's gonna do it.

Shush.

Your friends were hot too, but you were like, mega hot.

I knew from that moment in my heart,

you were the girl of my dreams.

Fopdoodle.

That's not a word.

All talk, no valor.

Now, now.

He did show some gallantry at the dolphin encounter.

Agreed.

You know, and besides valor really isn't

what girls are looking for in this millennium.

What then?

Thoughtfulness, sensitivity.

You mean the opposite of valor?

You would make the most beautiful selfies.

You look so hot next to me.

Ugh.

Not again!

Who's without?

We shall just ignore her.

Oh no.

Whoa, who's that?

Will we have to move again?

But I just hung all the tapestries.

No, no, no!

Enough is enough.

Shoo!

Off with you now.

Dude, what is wrong with you?

There's no reason to be rude, okay?

Go on! Scat!

Is she gone?

We can only hope and pray.

I don't see her.

Hi.

Uh, come-- come on in.

So sorry about that.

I'm Dwight.

You let her in the house?

What can I do for you?

Ahh!

Uh oh.

Do you know her?

Okay, so about a thousand years ago,

there was this princess, Gretta,

and she was in big trouble

because she had lots of enemies

and not a lot of friends.

So her court magician, Baldric,

cast The Champion Spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep

until a champion would come,

break the spell with his kiss

and deal with Gretta's big scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead,

they got me.

Ah!

Ow!

Now we'll never be rid of her.

What does she want?

I wish I knew.

It's not too late to run her off.

I'll get the rocks.

Yeah, we're not doing that.

Ah!

What do you think that means?

It means she's raving mad.

Okay. Well, she snarls and spits.

He may have a point, Highness.

But she's just being her... authentic self.

She may indeed be speaking,

but not any human tongue.

Ah ah!

There is one person I know who could help us.

No, Baldric, I forbid it.

What?

She tried to chop my finger off.

I understand your objection.

You mean the scary witch lady?

But when it comes to bestial languages--

I would not trust her with a sack of cabbages.

Nor would I ask you to, Highness.

I will go and entreat her help.

By no means.

You recall what she did to you the last time

you were alone together.

Perhaps the less said about that...

Okay, this is-- this is a good story, huh?

What'd she do?

Come on, man.

This is a safe space.

Whoa!

Whoa-whoa, whoa, easy does it.

We can resolve this.

We just have to open a dialogue, right?

To that point, Highness,

we must take what help we can get.

Hexela.

You'll see a difference in six days.

Three if the moon is waxing.

Be gone, peasant-hag.

On the house, honey.

I'm closing up shop for--

The foreseeable future.

I see.

Curious.

What?

Wyvernese.

Huh?

She's a wyvern?

What's a wyvern?

A dragon.

A water dragon, let us be clear.

Yeah, yeah.

Let us be clear,

because clearly this is a girl.

Psst.

Tragic tale.

She is indeed a wyvern.

Born to the water,

and for ages she lived peacefully in its cool depths

until one day a cunning man lured her to the banks

and when she stepped out of the water,

she shed her dragon skin and became human

and in that moment the thief stole her dragon skin

and vanished into the lake.

And without her skin,

well, she's trapped inside this hideous body.

I mean, I wouldn't say hideous.

She wants her skin back, Your Highness.

Why is she looking at me?

The thief came from the castle.

The thief and the dragon skin

are long gone.

I want to go home.

I am lost in this world where everything is strange.

All that I was and all that I know was taken from me,

and no human soul cares.

I care.

I mean, what-- what kind of world are we living in, huh?

One where a wyvern dragon girl

can't step out of the water

without getting her skin stolen.

Hear, hear.

This won't stand.

An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us

and it must be answered.

Spoken with valor.

So then, Sir Dwight,

you are pledged to this quest.

Uh, I would need a few more details before I commit.

Fopdoodle.

I'm in.

And that's still not a word.

What say you, Highness?

Shall we aid in this cause?

And be rid of this pest at last?

Tell the wyvern we will find her skin

and restore her to her home.

She comes from a lake deep in the woods.

A lake shaped like a crescent.

Did you say crescent?

I did.

There's something I must show you.

Is this-- This is my map!

What?

Oh,

How careless of me.

You sticky fingered, little sneak thief.

I beg your pardon, sir?

How did you get this?

You gave it to me, Baldric.

When I was bewitched no doubt.

As a token of your love.

Okay, when do I get to hear this story?

Not now. We are on a quest.

But know this, witch, we are watching your every move.

Ooh. I certainly hope so, Baldric.

Now, this is a map--

Of the woods, Your Highness,

in particular of the Dark Realm.

The what?

It's where dark forces dwell

and should not be disturbed.

'Kay.

Behold.

The crescent lake.

It looks like a croissant.

This map is a joke.

Let me see.

So, if the Great Oak Tree is there,

then the fairy ring would have been right about here.

Those are not helpful landmarks.

I wouldn't rely too heavily on this map.

Oh, you're saying this now.

I'll go gather wood for the fire.

What fire?

You'll burn the forest down.

We must make camp before dark.

No, nobody's camping.

We've got school tomorrow.

You have an absurd obsession

with school.

And you have more unexcused absences

than the rest of the student body combined.

Cornswaggle.

Could be searching these woods for months, years even.

Quests are notoriously long affairs.

Where are you going?

I'm done stompin' around the woods

like a freakin' hobbit.

This is my quest.

I'm doing this my way.

Wait.

Now this is a map.

Make it bigger.

Make it smaller.

Make it bigger.

Make it smaller.

Make it bigger.

Make it smaller--

Stop.

Woods, woods, woods, woods.

No sign of a lake shaped like a crescent roll.

A crescent moon.

Yeah, that works too, I guess.

So if I zoom out.

There!

That's Woodside Lake right here in town.

No, it can't be it.

It's not gonna be shaped like a crescent.

More like a breadstick.

If that's the lake it means--

It can't be.

Woodside Lake is man-made.

You're certain?

There's one way to know for sure.

You must be Dwight.

Thank you for taking the time

to meet with us, Mr. Dale.

Sure thing.

This is Gretta and...

Winnifreda.

Winnie, for short.

So, we have a couple questions

about when Woodside was first built.

Well, it's nice to see our young people

taking an interest in local history.

Our survival depends on it.

We're doing a group project for school.

It's kind of a killer, you know?

Oh.

So, you were the original city planner

for Woodside, right?

Coming up on 20 years ago.

This area was nothing

but woods and more woods back then.

Dory!

Oh.

No, no, drop, drop.

Let it go.

So sorry about that.

Winnie has a, um, mercury deficiency,

and it's a real thing, you know?

What of the Crescent Lake?

Uh, hm?

Woodside Lake, did you work on that?

Oh, nothing to work on.

That lake's been there since the dawn of time.

This lake, right here?

Yeah, we just cleared the trees

and built the town around it.

Twenty percent of the homes in Woodside have a lake view.

You fools,

you have tampered with dark powers

that will be your undoing!

You know, that's nothing to worry about.

She's kind of a drama queen.

Thank you for your time.

Oh, here's a juicy story about the bailiff

and a local silk thrower.

Another time.

When did you become such a lovelfubble?

Make yourself useful, madam, or be off.

As you wish.

Wait.

A young maid tormented the royal family day and night

with hisses and snarls.

Sounds like our girl.

When was this?

Oh, strange.

Ah!

What's amiss?

We are undone!

I'm pretty sure you're just overreacting.

Make haste.

We must fly.

From what danger?

We found the dark realm.

Where?

Here!

This village was built on its bones.

Sorry.

Then the Crescent Lake is--

There!

Not a furlong away.

I bathe in that lake.

Ew.

Take only what Sir Dwight can carry.

Oof!

I'm not goin' anywhere!

Before we flee, we must warn the villagers.

They brought desolation upon themselves

when they disturbed the dark realm.

Ow! What was that for?

It's your own fault for taking in a wild animal.

She's not wild, she's just--

Hungry.

Baldric, don't go.

I'm sorry, Hexela.

But a relationship must be founded on more

than lies, treachery,

and a love potion slipped into my ale.

Okay, now can I hear this story?

My adorable Baldric, you misunderstand me.

I do?

The evil that dwells here cannot rise

unless it is summoned.

And you and I both know there are very few who can do that.

But if they come--

Someone must stop them.

Well, now we know

what the inside of a dragon smells like.

Okay, back to Winnie's skin.

You found the Crescent Lake.

Now you have only to draw the thief up

from its depths.

How?

With a love song.

As legend goes,

the wyvern will rise to the surface

and even leave the water

when it hears its mating call.

But this is a delicate dance of love that can take months.

The hopeful suitor must often stand on every bank,

night after night,

hoping its call will reach the ears of its wyvern mate.

Who's got time for that?

Here you go, Winnie.

Sing your heart out.

'Kay.

It appears Winnie's been pestering your family

for centuries before you were born.

She turns up in historical accounts

as far back as King Fergus the Lost.

What?

King Fergus the Lost!

Hide! Hide.

Winnie! Sing, sing!

The dragon skin!

Okay, guys, let's do this.

Okay, I'm goin' now.

Keep him busy.

I pray thee, sing on.

Mine ears could drink of your voice

till time itself was lost in song.

You are as beautiful as a night sky filled with stars.

Hold, Highness.

This is no common thief.

King Fergus the Lost.

Who-- How?

You mistake, sir.

They call me King Fergus the Mighty.

Yes, but they changed it

after your disappearance.

Fergus the Lost.

Mhm.

Makes me sound--

Misplaced.

Winnie! Wi--Winnie!

Oh.

No!

No, no, no.

Parks and Rec will be all over us.

No! No!

Your Majesty.

It is a new day.

So my great, great grandfather is a thief?

Fourth great.

And a fine mess you left for the rest of us.

You realize that wyvern has tormented our family

for four generations.

Besides the fact

that stealing somebody's skin is just wrong.

It was the title.

King Fergus the Mighty.

When I was a younger man, it suited me well.

But as I grew older, my body turned traitor.

My youth and vigor abandoned me,

what else was I to do but--

Steal a dragon skin?

Hm hm.

I understand the temptation, dear,

but stealing from dragons never works out.

Why?

They're sensitive beasts.

With long memories.

No, no.

No, I mean why steal a dragon's skin?

Because dragons live forever.

Indeed they do.

But it's not as grand as it sounds.

I had no way of knowing before this,

but the life of a wyvern is dull.

It's very dull.

And this, oh, how I've missed this!

The feeling of the earth beneath my feet!

The wind in my beard!

I haven't felt this good in an age!

Ow, ow.

Easy, easy.

Whither are you bound, Majesty?

Oh, I still have one or two more adventures in me.

You know, when I was a boy, I dreamed of being a bandit.

Perhaps I'll try my hand at that.

Still doin' the family proud.

An excellent notion, the woods are vast,

filled with danger, and spoil.

Fare thee well!

Your first quest complete.

Yeah, who's the fopdoodle now?

So, what is so bad about a dark realm?

You know what, never mind.

Never mind.

The answer is in the question.

But you guys are staying, right?

We will guard the Dark Realm.

Though it may cost our lives.

But it probably won't.

Right?

What's buried here must stay buried.