Original subtitles

Previously on Dwight in Shining Armor.

Ah!

No, no, no.

Enemy or harmless peasant?

This is him.

Who?

This is the champion we've been waiting for.

This little wiggling worm.

Who are you?

Princess Gretta the Beseiged.

I am her court magician, Baldric.

'Kay, I'm Dwight.

We were beseiged on all sides

till I cast a spell of last resort.

The champion spell is what put us all to sleep

and anyone else in these woods that day.

So when I woke you up--

With your kiss.

Accidental kiss.

You woke up everyone.

Aaahhh!

Let me go this instant!

It's a different world now,

I just wanna make sure

that you have the skills to survive and thrive.

See you in your village... Dwight.

Ah!

Uh!

You may be the champion I need.

It's not gonna get much worse than that, right?

Right?

Okay, this all looks good, Gretta.

Thank you!

Oh, wait, you missed one thing- your previous school.

Her highness was educated by royal tutors.

Homeschooled.

Sadly, the ogres boiled and ate them.

Oh, you're those actors.

Oh, I heard you were just cast in that, um,

oh, what was it?

Uh, "Lord of the Rings" reboot?

Right.

Oh, how exciting.

Well, I just need your signature right here,

Gretta.

Baldric, the royal seal please.

Blood or ink?

Ew!

Uh, Baldric, buddy, this is where we say goodbye.

Oh, no, no, no, just until 2:40!

And you should know, that school is a safe space.

How so?

Some enchantment, no doubt.

So... no weapons?

Almost there.

Okay!

Come on, we can still make it to science.

Okay, so about a thousand years ago,

there was this princess, Gretta.

And she was in big trouble

because she had lots of enemies

and not a lot of friends.

So her court magician Baldric cast the champion spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep

until a champion would come,

break the spell with his kiss,

and deal with Gretta's big, scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead, they got me.

Okay, everybody, uh, we have a new student.

This is Gretta.

Why don't you, uh, tell us a little about yourself.

I am from the lineage of King Alsric the grim.

My kinsmen dead, I am the last heir

to the house of Moon Dragon.

Okay, great!

Why don't you take a seat, front row?

There, not the worst day of your life, right?

The worst day of my life was spent buried alive

next to the corpse of my aunt Hilda.

Why?

Well, it was the only place to hide.

Can we take a selfie?

I'm like your biggest fan.

I can't wait for your movie!

What is a "self me"?

A selfie.

It's a picture you take of yourself,

to capture a special moment you want to remember.

I'm afraid you can't park that thing here, sir.

Oh, your highness!

How was peasant school?

Well, useful I suppose, as the occasional distraction .

Except school is kind of every day.

Every day.

Oh, oh, oh, hey there, neighbors!

Nana, hey!

I know, Dwight told me you're still getting settled,

so I won't get in your, uh, hair.

Just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Sir Dwight, you know this hag?

Baldric, Gretta, this is my nana.

Hm?

My grandmother.

Ah.

An honor, aged lady.

You two are a kick.

Uh, so what are you working on here?

A moat.

It's almost dug deep enough.

For what?

Baldric and Gretta: Water.

Cool.

Uh, so, if you need anything, we're right next door.

Well you are too kind.

How well preserved you are for a woman so old.

Oh, uh, well, you are looking at the results

of a plant-based diet and daily exercise,

ya-cha-cha.

Nana teaches group fitness at the senior center.

What are these?

Flaxseed, kale, and bran muffins.

You're never too young to care for your colon, dear.

Oh, delicious.

Oh, here you go.

Him.

Quickly!

Put these beans in your ears.

What?

Make haste!

Am I wrong, or did my pediatrician actually say

never to put beans in my-ahh!

These are magic beans.

Ow!

For your protection.

I'm all about new experiences.

Inside, quickly!

Inside!

Move!

Hurry!

Have no fear, highness, I will conjure a spell

to make short work of the villain.

What villain?

Jacopo the Troubadour.

Bella.

Hey, that's Brody and Amelia.

And that's Dylan Gallagher!

We went to Pre-K together.

Oh, I remember Dylan!

Such a sweet kid.

Great balls of fire!

Prepare for balls of fire, highness.

No, it's an expression!

Baldric, why is Dylan Gallagher

throwing rocks at us?!

It's the lute.

The blocking of the string places those within hearing

under a powerful enchantment.

Wha-what, like mind control?

That's so uncool.

What does this Yaka-poo guy want?

My throne.

That thing?

No, no, no, my kingdom.

The man is mad for power.

He sold his own soul to put that spell on his lute.

And now it has a mind of its own.

Nana, now's as good as a time as any to tell you-

That our new neighbors are not really actors?

Yup.

Okay.

Make ready.

Whoa, hey, put those things away!

Sir Dwight, we are under attack.

Yeah, but it's not their fault!

Look at them, they're-they're, like,

innocent... zombies.

Nooo!

That was not my plan at all!

Here!

Oh!

Nana!

Now what?

I don't-

Now, we discuss terms.

There will be no terms, and there will be no discussion.

But honor demands it.

None may say Jacopo does not know the rules of chivalry.

This is my plan.

And it will be properly done.

I have defeated the princess in honorable combat.

See my terms.

My terms, fat man.

- Princess. - Ah!

Read my words.

The princess hereby yields her throne,

property, title, and all other rights and honors

as ruler of the realm to Jacopo the Troubadour,

henceforth to be known as His Majesty Jacopo the Noble,

the wise and beloved of all his people,

God save-

Enough, Baldric.

Consider, Principessa, you may leave peacefully

in the realm of Jacopo the noble.

It will be a harmonious kingdom

where all may thrive under my kingly rule.

And I will be respected.

And if I refuse?

I will dispose of you.

Or better to say, these nice fellow

will dispose of you.

And I'll usurp your throne

and rule as Jacopo the tyrant,

in a realm of terror.

Oh, either way,

I win.

I win!

Jacopo, you blaggard!

You slander me, sir!

I have obeyed the rules of chivalry.

Not yet, Jacopo.

You may have defeated me, but you have not defeated

my champion.

Ah, geez.

Oh.

By the rules of chivalry-

Do not tell me the rules of chivalry, little girl.

I know them by heart.

Then you know you can make no threat

against the princess until you have vanquished

her champion.

Nana, there's one more thing

I should tell you.

Where is this champion, hmm?

Hmm?

Excuse me.

Are you the champion?

Ah, can I...?

Thank you, yeah, there you go, thank you.

Ah, no.

Mmm... there.

Hi.

You don't mean... him?

Oh, but I do.

This baby-faced monkey?

None else.

This jiggly little bowl of jelly?

Okay, that's enough out of you, buster.

We have a zero-tolerance policy

when it comes to bullying.

So you're gonna keep it polite

or you and me are gonna have problems,

and you don't want to have problems with me.

I like this tiny, wrinkly woman.

You may live in my realm when I am king.

Eh, but first, we fight.

The choice of weapon is yours, champion.

The axe.

No, the blood sword.

Wait, wait, how-how does this work?

You have challenged Jacopo to a duel.

No, I haven't.

You must match your skills against his.

When you say skills...

Anything.

You choose.

Try the axe.

No, not the axe.

Something you're good at.

Something you've spent years mastering.

I choose...

the water bottle.

'Scuse me?

I choose this water bottle.

We both get a chance to flip it.

The point is to get it to land straight up,

like that.

Boom.

Like a, like a... Russian gymnast.

And the person to do it

in the least amount of tries wins.

But this is child's play.

You send a baby to do a man's job.

Ah.

I accept your challenge, funny little champion boy.

And when I win, I will have you

and my favorite wrinkly lady entertain me

at my royal guard.

Take it away.

That's one.

Yes!

Give it another try.

That's two.

I know, I know!

You almost had it.

♪ Hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey!

♪ Oh no, not again,

♪ why can't you just be my friend? ♪

All right, um...

♪ - Hey, hey!

♪ So high, I feel like I'm gonna go into overdrive. ♪

That was close.

Take it easy.

This is a stupid challenge!

We fight with knives, now.

Whoa, hey!

Come on, dude, you have spent years planning this thing.

So let's do it right.

Everybody knows

if you're going to steal somebody's kingdom,

you gotta go through the champion.

And the champion picks the duel.

I don't make the rules, man.

Ugh.

You know what?

I think we should count that one.

That was really good.

It was really, really, really, good.

It stood up for, like, a, half a second

before it fell.

May I?

So now, all I have to do is beat 211.

Impossible.

- Yes! - Huzzah!

Oh!

Oh, I got a little dozy.

He did it, ancient one.

Well, yeah.

You know he was the

Woodside middle school bottle-flipping champion

a few years ago.

I had no idea.

Well, it's been a while.

I'm pretty out of shape.

Ahh!

No!

Thanks for coming, everybody!

Great housewarming party, really.

Gretta appreciates everybody coming.

Thank you to everybody who brought food,

by the way.

Uh, you can go now.

Party's over.

Yeah!

Have a great night.

Thanks for coming.

And by the way, whoever hired the hypnotist,

awesome!

Really made the party.

Be safe out there, it's dark.

Okay, goodnight!

And you, villain, can take yourself hence.

You are no match for Princess Gretta's champion.

I leave defeated, but not dishonored.

One hundred percent agree.

Halt.

We should make a self me.

To capture this special moment.

All right, everybody get inside,

faces close together.

All right, all right, Jacopo, over here, bud.

Look over here.

Okay.

Everybody, smile!

Got it.

You may withdraw.

Hey!

We better call it for tonight, kids.

We can, uh, come back tomorrow

and help you put the place back together.

That is most kind.

You’re not the neighbors I would have picked,

but you're the neighbors I got.

Am I okay to take these beans out of my ears?

You may safely do so.

I don't think Jacopo will trouble us again.

Your parents would be very proud

of what you did today, Dwight.

I'm gonna- I'll take this out,

and I'll be right behind you, okay?

Sir Dwight?

Hey!

I'm just sorting out the recyclables

before I throw them away.

Thank you.

Yeah!

Just takes a few minutes,

and it's the right thing to do.

For saving my life.

Again.

Yeah, sure, I'm happy to do it.

So you live with Nana?

Yeah, since I was a baby.

Well, what of your parents?

Plane crash.

They were wildlife photographers.

Hm?

They took pictures of animals,

and they were in a... small plane in Alaska.

What is a...

Oh, oh, it's a thing you fly in.

And it... crashed.

Well, my parents are also gone.

What happened?

My father was devoured by fairies

and my mother was turned into an oak tree.

Oh.

But I have Baldric, and you have Nana.

Yeah.

Yeah, we do.

Hm.

Hey!

Good morning, Baldric.

Is Gretta ready?

Her highness is still a-bed.

What?

We said 7:30.

Mmm.

Hey, um, I hope you know that was an accident.

Is there anything I can do?

Can you find for me the bow of an ash three,

fed by a fairy spring,

and encased within it an agate stone

spewed forth in fire from the bowels of the earth?

Uh...

Can you then temper it with the tears

of a newborn Griffin and its mother's milk?

And then, can you resurrect the mage

that gave his life crafting this scepter

over two thousand years ago?

Hm?

Duct tape?

You got-

- Go. - Going.

- Leave. - Yup.

Captioned byBYUtv.