Original subtitles

Disenchanting news, everyone.

Our delivery boy Fry can no longer compete

with Momazon's "Same Second Delivery."

Hello, face not recognized.

What would you like to order?

One chair, please.

So, I'm being demoted?

There's no down from where you are.

But I think I've found a way to beat them at their own game.

To the Explaining Dome!

Eh, whaa?

Where is everybody?

Behold!

Previous Day Delivery?

Excellent guess, Hermes.

You see, I've rebuilt my time machine!

Amazing.

Uh, question?

Don't we die every time we use this thing?

Previously, yes,

because the controls were too complicated.

But now they couldn't be simpler.

Oh boy! Is that the new Xbox?

I'm telling you, it's idiot-proof!

We'll see about that.

Evans!

I need that package delivered yesterday!

Yes, sir, I'm on it!

Y'ello, Planet Express.

Senior Vice President Bender speaking.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

You want it delivered yesterday?!

Can do!

But you gotta pay the day before.

We did.

Huh.

And here's the package.

We must have picked it up from the warehouse tomorrow.

Delivery boy at your service.

Backward!

Here's your package, sir.

Don't forget to order it tomorrow.

I'll try to remember.

A lot goin' on today.

We did it, chums!

And without a single time paradox.

Yet.

Take us home, Time Pilot.

Forward!

Should I be worried about that blorp?

That's no blorp... that's us!

Oh dear.

That is us...

heading back from tomorrow to make this very delivery.

Hold up, if that's us,

why didn't we see us when we were them?

-We were having a slap fight. -No, we weren't.

Ow!

Take evasive action!

I can't! It's idiot-proof!

Ow!

I knew I could break it!

So, where are we now?

My word, this is incredible!

Fry's furious knob-yanking

has sent us sideways through time.

Where ways?

Let me explain using this unbranded, slinky-like toy.

This pressure wave represents normal time travel.

But suppose I introduce a secondary slink wave

orthogonal to the first.

Like so.

Voila! Sideways time travel!

Does that make sense?

So much sense.

Very, very much sense.

Okay, get ready, they left three seconds from now.

Three... two...

Well, that was dumb.

Oh my, yes.

But it worked!

Previous Day Delivery is a success!

Well, a partial success.

Ew! He's dead, and he's starting to smell.

Oh wait, that's Zoidberg.

What happened to him?

I can't be entirely sure.

But I can be pretty damn sure!

It seems Fry has become trapped sideways in time.

What? Is something wrong?

No, no.

No, no, no.

And also, yes.

You've become trapped sideways in time, Fry.

I'm sure of that now.

Oh no! Is that why I'm all floaty and pretzeled up?

Seems like the most likely reason.

Let me just put a clamp on you

to keep you from wafting off with the breeze.

Fry's my best friend.

Would it be okay if I held the string?

That's kind of you, Bender.

Here.

Poor Fry.

Poor, poor Fry.

-Whoo! Around the world! -Whoa!

Rock the cradle!

Upside the Zoidberg!

Bender, gimme that!

I'm helpless. What am I gonna do?

Aw, come here.

Feel any better?

No, but maybe I will after I go to the bathroom.

Nope.

Cheer up, Fry.

I made you some lukewarm gruel.

Morning, Fry.

Time to rise and mope.

Aw, why did you wake me?

The only time I feel happy and free now is when I'm asleep.

I'm a twisted husk of the man I once was.

Just push me out the window and let me float away.

-Okay. -No!

We could never do that!

Oh, right, 'cause the window's painted shut.

I'll talk to the super.

Moving on to paragraph three, subsection 29...

Oh, thank you, Hermes,

you put him to sleep again.

He looks so happy.

I wonder what he's dreaming of.

Whoa.

Welcome to Dreamland!

So, this is a dream?

It is?

Am I sleeping?

No, you dum-dum!

It must be my dream.

Quiet, you fools!

I'm attempting to marvel at this magical,

spherical, horseless horse buggy.

Can you, uh, marvel without denting it?

I don't like the looks of this diabolical dimwit.

Blo-Jo, sound the all-purpose alarm!

Away with you, peasants!

This dope's no dimwit, he's a hero!

I am? I mean...

I am?

He's defeated everyone's least favorite enemy, Freckles.

Huzzah!

I'm gonna steal his little booties for me children, I am.

My booties don't come off.

I'm a wooden puppet, ya kooky broad!

He's alive!

Not this part.

Sir, what is your name,

that we might proclaim it far and wide as the savior of Dreamland?

Philip J. Fry.

Really? I don't like that.

We'll just call you Fry.

Fry! Fry! Fry! Fry! Fry! Fry!

Wake up, Fry, feeding time.

Aw, man,

I was in a magical land of wizards and fairies and puppets.

Honey, that was just a dream.

No way! I mean, the puppet, maybe,

but the rest was real.

And in that world I'm a hero,

not a helpless balloon who can only move around by farting.

Please, just let me sleep.

Again, announcing the mysterious sleepy stranger

who saved our kingdom!

Whoa, a queen and a cute widdle king.

I'm honored.

I'm Elfo.

And this is my wife, Queen Mop Girl.

-Miri. -Either one is fine.

Except one of them.

Anyway, Mr. Fry, we're all impressed

by your amazing puppet-murdering contraption.

It-It's called a time machine.

You mean like... a clock?

No, like an actual machine that takes you through time.

Ah, a riding clock!

Magnificent!

It's true, wee folk.

I am indeed a well-known science genius

from many millennials hence.

Behold my, um...

flashlight keychain!

The wave of death!

You know stience?

My best friend Bean was super into that.

Yeah, you would've liked her. Hm.

She was a hero, too.

Did she die?

No, she just swam away.

Forever.

But I don't care.

Huh?

All hey former Queen Tiabeanie!

Hey, Bean!

Hey.

Whuh... But you... Huh?!

Hey, Elfo.

I heard Blo-Jo's alarm, so I figured it was something important

and paddled right over.

Huh.

You forgot your boots when you left.

Eh, I don't wear boots anymore. See?

You can toss 'em.

Maybe I already did.

Ta-da!

Luci! You're alive!

Yeah, I heard Blo-Jo's blat-squawk.

This better be good.

I had to promise God a billion years of not whining

to get a day pass from heaven.

Yes, well, down to business.

We are here to celebrate Dreamland's latest hero, Fry.

And I also need a hug!

Come here!

I missed you so much, I missed you!

This is a really touching reunion,

and I don't even know who the hell any of you are.

Okay, so this part of the kingdom is called "town,"

'cause it's the part where the town is.

Whoa, whoa, slow down.

And there's the cathedral where I almost had to marry

two different do of uses

until I met two even littler do of uses who rescued me.

That was the day our trio came together for the very first time.

Nice to meet ya.

They call me Luci.

Hi, I'm Elfo.

What are all your names?

Together, we three defeated the forces of evil,

AKA Bean's sexy mom.

I can hear you down there!

Not very well, though.

Speak up if you could.

Ugh, just leave Dagmar in her cage.

She'll either wither away or go crazy under the sun.

Sounds like an idiot-proof plan to me.

Guys, this may just be the alcohol speaking...

"scotch"

but I missed you.

Yeah, I also know what it's like to miss two people.

Friends, let's drink to drinking with friends.

Amen, brother.

"Rum."

So, Fry, wanna be the fourth member of our trio?

That would be fantastic!

But would it still be a trio?

I think so.

I mean, no one here has ever counted higher than eight anyway.

This is my kinda historical era!

Come on, I brought something from the future

that's fun for the whole trio.

It's relentless!

It's a high-tech device called a "slinky."

It goes down stairs, alone or in pairs,

and it's also essential for time travel.

Whoa, time travel?

Time travel.

Time travel?

Well, we heroes certainly had an eventful day.

Keep that thing away from me!

You can sleep in my dinky old bedroom.

I sleep with the queen in the royal suite.

I.e., Mop Girl on a bale of hay.

I prefer my wording.

Here, you can borrow my nightshirt.

Ah, so comfy.

But if I fall asleep,

I might wake up back in my miserable real life.

I can't!

Um, what's that bewitching melody?

Well, hello, handsome stranger.

Shall I sing some more, or are you sufficiently bewitched?

I'm good, thanks. So, what are you, a witch?

Oh, please.

A scholar of your caliber knows witches don't exist.

No, I... do.

Those superstitious fools have caged me unjustly.

My only hope for rescue is a bold-hearted hero

bearing some sort of futuristic technology.

I have technology!

It's known as... a paperclip.

Oh yeah, work it, sexy.

He's waking up!

I am?

-Oh no. No! -Woop, woop, woop!

Fry, we're worried about you.

You're drifting further and further into some imaginary dreamland.

It can't be imaginary.

I'm not that creative!

Pfft, I find Fry's nonsense preposterous!

However, science teaches us

that the most preposterous explanation is often correct.

Well, not often.

Almost never.

Still, can you describe this dreamland?

Well, it's kinda like Medieval Times Dinner Theater,

except I don't get food poisoning from the nachos.

Hmm.

Fry? Hello?

I'm trying to knight you.

Wakey-wakey, Fry.

Fry!

-Present! -Now, then.

For heroism, intellectual prowess,

and mastery over the mighty Slinky,

I hereby...

Stop the knighting!

Dagmar has escaped.

She was last seen riding off with Fry's horseless clock wagon!

Oh no! My time machine.

It's gone!

After her!

There's no sign of her!

Except for that sign!

This is no laughing matter, Laughing Horse.

How could my mom have escaped from that cage?

Uh... oops.

What's "oops"? I don't like oops.

I thought I was freeing some other lady

from some other cage.

But it's my fault, and I swear I'll make this...

right!

Oh.

An evil queen! The time machine!

Elfo's green!

Poor Fry, he's barely coming out of the dream at all now.

Well, if he can't come out, we'll have to go in.

Dream diapers on?

-Roger. -Then strap in.

Ow. Ow!

Nice boots.

Your face scuffed them.

Get up. You're going to fix this infernal time contraption for me.

And if you try any funny business, I'll kill you.

Well, Gomer will.

Is this... a torture chamber?

Torture chamber, repair shop, your choice.

Hey, hey, quit it, Gomer!

I've broken enough time machines to know how to fix one.

What's this tool?

-Finger puller. -Nope.

-Ear tweaker. -Yow.

-Spleen puncher. -Yikes!

-Dong prong. -What what?

Just pick one!

I need a Slinky.

What the hell is a Slinky?

Well, you know, a roundy, boingy thing that's coily.

Oh, like an intestine-yanker.

Okay, I can do this.

Lefty loosey, tighty whitey, and...

That worked?

Where to? I mean when to?

To the day of Bean's wedding,

when that asinine trio first met.

The trio that kept me from ruling over this whole wretched kingdom.

Only this time,

they are not going to meet.

And then I will rule over this wretched kingdom.

The wretched part's the one constant in all of this.

Nice to meet ya. They call me Luci.

Nice to meet ya. They call me...

I now pronounce you man and...

Hi, I'm Elfo.

What are all your names?

Hi, I'm Elfo.

What are all your... Ow!

Quit breakin' my shiny leaded glass!

I've done it! I've changed history!

Bean will go mad,

and I will assume the throne that is so wrongfully mine.

Have you ever considered there's a reason people don't like you?

My realm.

At last!

Do I at least get a reward for helping?

-Bean! -Huh?

Is that my name?

And if so, how do you know my name?!

You won't remember me, but I'm Fry.

In another time, we were friends.

I've never had any friends.

What about me, Old Man Touchy?

You're more of an associate.

And rat squeezer.

I squoze us some good ones.

Please, you gotta believe me.

You were a hero when I met you.

And two little weirdos loved you 'cause you fought for what was right

and didn't give a flying nun what anyone thought.

Did I really not care?

Not one bit.

Listen, I have a time machine.

A what?

-A, uh... A riding clock. -Oh, okay.

But I need you to help me.

If you can distract Dagmar somehow,

I can go back in time and fix this.

Good luck with that.

I'm being executed at dawn.

Then we gotta act before then!

No.

After.

What smells like bubonic plague?

Hear ye, hear ye!

By order of Queen Dagmar,

Princess Tiabeanie shall now be executed

by chopping off the head until dead.

Stop! She's my daughter!

So I would rather kill her myself.

Wow, you're a bad mom.

I can't. I can't do it.

Aww.

Ugh, you never follow through.

For God's sake, do I have to do everything myself?

Bean's distraction is working perfectly.

Come on!

At last! My victory is complete.

Behold the fate of those who oppose me!

Hang in there, Bean.

I'll be back in the nick of time!

Backward!

No. No!

There, I fixed the timeline.

I think.

This is actually my 38th try.

You okay, Bean?

I'm great. Why wouldn't I be?

Little sore throat.

Anyway, your timing's good.

We were just about to execute my mom.

Eh, let the people at the end of time worry about her.

Fry! Fry! Fry! Fry! Fry! Fry!

You're the hero of Dreamland, Fry.

You'll have fame and riches beyond your imagination.

Well, that seems like a good amount.

You are gonna have a great life here.

Fry! Down here!

Leela?

We came into your dream,

but like right around when you were in the dungeon.

You mind lettin' us out?

Aw, Leela!

I thought I'd never see you again!

Remarkable!

Fry really is trapped in some sideways part of space time.

We can't stay long.

Those dream diapers only hold so much.

But if you can't be happy in our world,

I'm glad you're happy here.

Goodbye.

No, no, wait!

I may have wealth and power here,

but if we can't be together, then I've got nothing.

Please, take me back so I can be a burden on you.

But we don't know how to bring you back.

Alas, the science of our world doesn't fully apply here.

And why would it?!

But perhaps a little magic might help.

That doesn't work in our world,

you strangely familiar clod.

Well, what about some combination of the two?

Stience plus magic?

I think that's called love.

-Huh, huh, what? Ah. -Ooh!

Wake up, my little burden.

Oops!

Yay! I can fall again!

Thank you all for barely giving up on me.

I love you, Leela.

Yoo-hoo! I'm just here for the hell of it.