Original subtitles

In the battleground of the future, you'll need laser-sharp vision,

laser-fast reflexes, and most of all, you'll need to know how to fire a laser.

Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

Critical damage, critical damage, pew, pew, pew.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Who's ready for a laser-pocalypse?

That's so cool you got a four-for-one pass.

Yeah, laser-pocalypse gave him to us after I did that investigative piece.

Laser tag.

Fun game or funnest game?

This is going to be so fun.

It's been so long since we all hung out.

Yeah, let me guess.

You forgot.

Forgot what?

Your brother's fifth-degree judo ceremony.

Taekwondo, Sherm.

Whatever.

Oh, is that tonight?

Don't you use the was that tonight excuse on me.

I taught you that.

Now look, if I gotta be here, you gotta be here.

All right, all right.

Your dad?

Tell him I said hi.

Eileen says hi.

Hi, Eileen.

Hi, Eileen.

Hi, Eileen.

Ugh.

I gotta go to Don's Taekwondum thing tonight for his stupid black belt.

Oh, that's right.

I embroidered the celebratory headband for him.

I still think it could use more dragons.

Come on, Rigby.

Don't want to keep Sherm waiting.

Ugh.

Rigby, can I talk to you for a sec?

Dude, what the heck?

You can't leave me alone with Margaret.

It's fine.

You're just hanging out as friends.

Yeah, but I don't know if she's going to be cool with that.

Are you okay being alone with Mordecai?

I think so.

We haven't hung out by ourselves in a while, so... Hey, whatever happens, happens.

Well, either way, be strong.

This is familiar, right?

Yeah, last time we were at the movies together, we were...

But tonight we're friends, on a fun night out.

Right.

Margaret Smith reporting live on location of a fun night out.

Uh, no cameras.

Okay, let's see what we got here.

Oh, I've heard good things about lovey-shovey.

Oh, how about that one?

Carter and Briggs.

Heavily armed?

The violence town files?

All right.

Yo, got some popcorn.

Nice!

Carter and Briggs 7, heavily armed.

Woo!

Yeah!

All right!

What?

Huh?

Sorry, everybody.

Our print of Carter and Briggs 7 has just spontaneously combusted.

So, in its place, we will screen Carter and Briggs 6, the heart-shaped badge.

Enjoy!

Ooh, I've never seen this one.

Ah, vacation.

No crime, no guns.

Briggs, there goes that cute waitress again.

Ah.

Don't worry, Carter.

Over the next three and a half hours, I'll help you get with her.

She definitely still likes you.

All you gotta do is give her a sign.

You know, I think I've seen this one.

Let's go.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Nothing romantic here.

Much dudes driving fast, gas fumes, noisy engines.

What's that?

Exactly.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention.

Tonight ain't just any night here at Carton Safari.

Because tonight's my 15-year anniversary to my beautiful Mary Lee.

Ain't nobody make my engine rev like you, darling.

I love you, baby!

I love you, Wayne!

In honor of this blessed occasion, for the

rest of the night, it'll be laps for lovers.

So strap in and snuggle up.

Uh, I don't know.

It looks pretty tight.

I call driver's seat.

Your turn, Stringbane.

Come on, Mordecai.

Let's hit the track.

Oh, now don't be shy.

She won't bite.

Go ahead now.

Scooch together.

Maybe try putting your arm around him?

Like this?

Now pull his leg in.

Uh, I need to go to the bathroom.

Now there's a son I can be proud of!

Yeah?

Dude, this whole friends thing is not working out.

What?

Why?

I'm trying to do friends stuff, and it keeps turning romantic.

Awesome!

No, not awesome.

Margaret's still totally into me.

Sure, sure.

I need a break from all the drama.

Yeah, yeah, you do what you gotta do.

Oh, here comes the best part!

Hey, man, I gotta go, but have fun with Margaret tonight.

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't!

Rolling hard with my boys, you know how we do?

Tear it up with the club, out to one or maybe two.

Except that it's Tuesday, my day Tuesday, at home with my lady.

Playing board games and cuddling by the fire.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Uh, so, see any place you want to eat?

Oh, hey, there's Steak Miamadeus.

I don't know.

The last time didn't go so well.

Right.

Or, Mr. Yakihanasama.

That Japanese place where they grill the food in front of you?

Isn't it really smoky in there?

You can barely see the person sitting next to you.

Works for me.

So, where should we sit?

How about...

There!

Uh, the one with the super old chef and unflatteringly harsh lighting?

Yeah, the one right by the bathroom.

Let's go.

Uh... Ahem!

Oi!

I am Daisuke.

Pleased to serve you tonight.

Eh?

Eh?

So, let me guess.

Anniversary?

What?

No!

Aha!

Ah, astudato.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What is this?

I see one boy and one girl.

We are a boy and a girl, but we're boy and girl friends.

I mean... Sound like you don't know what you are.

Tell you what.

I will do the romantic show for you.

Free of charge.

And whatever happens... Happens.

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh!

Hey!

What the?

I said no... Oh!

I could silence you with shrimp all night.

It's just dinner, Mordecai.

Yes.

Keep up romantic fast just for dessert.

Ugh, fine.

But only because I'm... Oh!

Hungry.

That's it!

Why does the whole universe want us to get together?

You noticed it too?

I've been keeping track of all the weird stuff tonight.

I'm a reporter.

What could it mean?

I like lists, sorry.

What is going on, Margaret?

What do you want to be going on, Mordecai?

Wow!

You two are pretty messed up.

I only know you for one hour.

And already, I'm tired of the will they or won't they tension.

Sorry.

What if there was a way to see what would happen if you got together?

Wouldn't your choice be clear then?

Eh?

An onion?

It's not the onion that is clever.

It is the sauce.

Look at the happy couple.

Whoa.

It's us.

Margaret, will you marry me?

Yes.

Sweet.

Our very own houseboat.

Whoa!

We have to be fiscally responsible.

Mallory, don't forget your lunch.

Are you carpooling today?

Your children will become a pro video game team and support you well into old age.

And finally, after 50 wonderful years together, you die peacefully.

Uh... You don't like?

It's just a lot to take in.

Margaret, you're really cool and our future looks like it could be cool too,

but after seeing all that, I'm sure of what I want now.

I think it would be best if we were just friends.

I am so relieved to hear you say that.

I thought I knew what I wanted, but we're still young, Mordecai.

And I'm definitely not ready for all that.

I mean, I have a career.

I think I just want to live in the moment.

Take it easy on relationships right now?

It's the best thing for the both of us?

Ahem.

Thanks for wasting my time.

Am I going to have to throw this couple sundae in trash?

Last chance, couple, just friends.

Couple, just friends.

Just friends.

I am okay with that.

Now, take the soft-serve cones of friendship.

Would you like the sprinkles of friendship?

Yeah.

This has been a great friends' night out.

Agreed.

Separate to chicks when you're ready.

Bordo.

What is it, Margie?

They're just friends.

Do you think they can really be just friends forever?

Only time will tell.

Let's get back to our retirement.

Mwah!

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

We'll be right back.

Thank you.