Original subtitles

And voila!

Oh, this cake looks so yummy!

And now I'm gonna eat the whole thing all by myself.

Mmm!

Cake!

Want cake?

Need cake!

Why don't we just go get some cake?

Are you kidding?

Do you know how crazy the cake prices are in this town?

Ever since that bakery cartel moved in,

they've kept the prices up and the supply down.

Darn bakers!

Fellow Americans, does this ever happen to you?

Oh, it's Susan's birthday, everyone!

Come on, let's sing!

Ahhhhh!

Are you sick to death of this tired old birthday song?

Yes, I am!

Well, boy, howdy, so am I!

Hi, it's me, Farmer Jimmy, part-time Turkey farmer and social advocate.

But you already knew that.

But what you may not know is that old birthday

song offends my musical sensibility so deeply.

I barely have words to describe it.

That's why I'm holding a contest to write a new birthday song.

Not only will the winner create history by finally overthrowing happy birthday,

but you also get a year's supply of our farm-fresh birthday cakes!

Birthday cakes are not actually farm-fresh.

I'll see you at the farm!

Not singing that song, but your new one!

Dude, a year's supply of cake?

We gotta write the next happy birthday song.

Can we get the next three days off from work?

Um, no.

But Benson, we have to go compete in a birthday song contest.

If we don't write a song to replace happy birthday...

Wait, the song that wins this contest will replace happy birthday?

You can go to the contest.

Nice!

I'm counting on you guys to put that happy birthday song in its grave.

I can't, it just...

Hey, muscle man!

Ugh!

Three!

Will you listen to our new birthday song and tell us what you think?

Poor supuesto, bro.

Okay, so this is the first thing we came up with, so it may be a little rough still.

Unnecessary information noted.

Ready?

Okay, one, that sound was my new leather workout boots.

Still breaking them in.

And two, that song, I've never heard anything more beautiful.

I can't believe we nailed the new song on the first try.

I can believe it.

We've been totally nailing life recently.

So, how far away is this farm exactly?

Looks like it's going to take us all night.

I'm getting hungry.

There should be a diner coming up.

We could stop there.

All right.

Pie, pie, cake.

Fifty bucks a slice?

Quit your gasping, it's a fair price.

No dessert?

No thanks to the cake cartel.

I can't decide between sherbet or sherbert.

It's your birthday, birthday, happy, happy birthday.

Make it stop!

But it's your birthday, sweetie.

I don't want it to be my birthday if they're going to sing that song.

Can't somebody do something?

That poor kid.

Are all birthday songs terrible?

Dude.

Pulse with them hand claps, bro.

That song was so cool.

Did you guys write that?

Yeah.

We're going to get in this birthday song contest thing.

Yes.

What?

A contest?

No, no, no.

Thank you for letting me know.

We made it.

Well, this is quite a turn out.

Welcome all to the first and last Farmer Jimmy birthday song competition.

Are you folks ready for a new birthday song?

A song to replace the most overused song of all time?

One that takes a beautiful day of celebration

and turns it into the worst day of your life?

Good then.

Each of our contestants will perform a new birthday song.

And our judges will rate them 1 through 10 with

the highest possible total of 30 lit candles.

To clarify.

30 candles good.

0 candles bad.

And there are no trick candles I've checked.

In conclusion, the contestant with the best score

will receive a year's supply of farm fresh cakes.

May the best new birthday song win!

It's nice to enjoy the presents of your friends.

Nice to enjoy sweet treats.

Baked a real fine cake.

It's gonna make you shake.

Baked a real... As we melt away by candlelight.

...and Hannah... ... So I can sing you a little song...

...ABOUT the day you came out of your mom.

Mom?

Get off the stage!

Presents are coming!

Better roll up your sleeves!

Sleeves!

Sweeze!

Happy birthday!

And just when you think you're safe, it's your birthday again!

And again, and again, and again, and again!

Party hard!

28!

Now that was a good birthday!

Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm!

That's a tough number to beat, and only one song left in our competition.

Please welcome last year's Thanksgiving song winners, Mordecai and Rigby!

Well, this is just our little version of happy birthday.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, I'm sorry!

Did somebody say my name?

Happy birthday himself!

The guest of honor is here!

Oh, quiet the party!

I've had better.

Hey, stop that!

Stop what?

Happy birthday, you scoundrel!

You're ruining the contest!

Get off of my stage!

Or what?

You're not gonna invite me to your birthday party?

Dude, we were just about to sing our song!

Yeah, what you just did was not cool!

Oh, you wanna know what's not cool?

Writing a new birthday song is what's not cool!

America loves happy birthday!

You love happy birthday, Mordecai and Rigby!

That's not true!

Happy birthday is a tired, old song, and the people want something new.

Isn't that right, America?

Shut your cake hole, America!

You'll never win the birthday song contest when you're up against happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you!

No!

No!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, dear everyone!

Happy birthday to you!

So what is that?

Huh?

Happy birthday to you!

Yes!

Happy.

birthday, dear!

That's right!

Say their names!

Happy birthday to you!

You'll never overthrow my song!

There'll be no birthdays without it!

Then all is lost.

I guess you can't solve every problem with an

overly complicated farm-themed song contest.

Guess I'll have to throw away that new supply of cake.

But you already knew that.

Wait!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Give us the chance to sing our song.

Goodbye!

Thanks for coming!

Today's gonna be A-OK Cause we're celebrating your birthday!

Happy birthday, CJ!

Celebrating your birthday!

What are you doing?

Today's gonna be A-OK We're celebrating your birthday!

Happy birthday Randall!

Celebrating your birthday!

That sounds simple!

Hey, that's pretty catchy!

Today is gonna be A-OK!

No, stop it!

Happy birthday to you.

Come on.

My stage.

Happy birthday, everyone.

Selebrate your birthday.

Today's gonna be A-OK, because we're celebrating your birthday.

Happy birthday, everyone!

Celebrating your birthday!

Today's gonna be A-OK, cause we're celebrating your birthday!

Happy birthday, everyone!

Celebrating your birthday!

Thirty candles!

A perfect score!

Mordecai and Rigby are the winners!

Fine!

Who needs you anyways?

You see how you like the limelight.

The collecting of all those royalties.

And just wait until people start getting sick of your song.

Then you'll see how it feels.

And then you'll all come crawling back.

Back to good ol' happy birthday!

Later, losers!

Later, losers!

Wow, great job, guys!

Yeah, you wiped the floor with that creepy cake.

It was nothing.

No biggie.

Well, congratulations, boys!

You certainly earned that year's supply of cakes.

Yeah, yeah!

You'll have to go over some details with my lawyer, but you already knew that.

Just sign here to claim your cake and acknowledge that your song will probably

never replace the original happy birthday song.

Bring in the lump sum!

Lump sum?

Well, you guys wanted cake.

Free cake!

Stay cake!