Original subtitles

Yeah. Yeah!

I'm Tyler Chopman Smith.

Today I used my 10-inch high carbon geofiber... Blade games!

America's 8th fastest growing sport will continue after the break.

Dude, I can't believe how cool blade games are.

They're all like...

What do you two think you're doing? I'm not paying you to beat up the couch.

In fact, I need you to thin the overgrown bamboo, get rid of the old

mylar balloons, shape the hedges, get rid of that tree stump, and prep the

birthday salami. Can we finish watching these blade games first? It's tankless

life!

Get to work right now!

Fine.

Dude, look.

It's a Bamblade.

Mine's a Bamblade too!

Unbelievable. It's every single day.

Sorry, Pops. I didn't see you standing there with your towel.

That's quite all right.

I heard you yelling earlier and wanted to wash off the tension with an air

bath. Okay.

Well, look, Pops, I'm sorry for yelling, but I just can't get Mordecai and Rigby

to do their work.

Perhaps yelling isn't effective.

I'd happily loan you my old managerial motivation tapes from when I was park

manager. Thanks, Pops, but I can handle...

Anyone seen a band blade? Gah! Give me the tapes!

This better work.

Hi, I'm Joan Crandon, and welcome to Managing Motivation for Managers, comma,

Motivational Techniques. I'm Joan Crandon. Our first lesson is on positive

reinforcement.

Positive reinforcement is when you praise someone for their actions. I'll

show you an example.

Wow, Barb, look at that word count. A machine will never replace you. Great

job. Thanks, Joan Crandon. I love you.

As you can see, positive reinforcement reinforces positivity.

Oh, duh.

Hey, Joan Crandon, can't unwanted hugs be considered workplace harassment?

Now don't get ahead of yourself, Bill.

We'll cover that in my other series.

It's the 80s with Joan Crandon.

Oh, jeez.

All I'm saying is, if you get Tankless Slice and the Chop Man in the same room,

someone's walking out with one less limb.

Shoot! Benson's coming!

Well, well, well, if it isn't my two favorite employees.

Where? And just look at that hedge.

Gotcha!

What? Gert-jeb.

What?

Great job! I can see you've been working very hard!

So you're saying we did such a great job, we can take a break to go watch

Blade Games!

Blade Games, Blade Games, choppin' everything games. No, that's not what I

meant!

It's time for lesson two, mentorship.

Mentorship is when you help a less experienced employee by mentoring them.

Let me show you what I mean.

Hi, Joan Crandon. I've been trying to understand this deal memo.

Problem is, I can't read.

Not to worry, Bill. I'll show you how.

Oh, hi, Barb.

I know you're super busy, but would you mind teaching Bill here how to read?

No problem, Joan Crandon. And I don't expect extra compensation either.

Thanks, Barb. You're the best.

Don't hate.

Delegate.

Hustle Man, I have a special assignment for you.

That's it relax that's it relax Sorry

for

forgetting you're allergic to eggs Rigby Rigby. Can you hear me blink once for

no? Twice for yes.

That's great!

Now, did you manage to finish any of your work before this happened?

One more for yes, Rigby.

Please blink.

Rigby, just blink. Your eyes are getting dry.

Aren't they hurting?

Fine! I need to go watch a video.

Welcome back. I'm Joan Crandon. It's time for lesson number three, reverse

psychology.

Uh-huh. With reverse psychology, you can motivate your employees to do the

opposite of what they'd normally do.

But you probably don't get what I'm saying.

Yes, I do.

Ah.

Ah.

Take that! Take that! Hey, guys.

Oh, uh, we were just about to do our work. Work? Nah, you guys don't have to

work anymore today. We don't? All right.

Forget about it. Just keep waving those brooms around to your heart's content.

They should be getting to work any minute now.

Any minute now.

Double shing.

Any minute?

Mine's bigger than yours.

Uh-oh. It seems that those pesky employees are beating you at your own

game. It's time for you to... Gamify!

Hmm. Gamifying is about motivating your employees by convincing them that their

work is a game!

Let's check on Bill.

99, 100.

I just got a high score in mopping!

Yeah! You sure did.

Gamify? I love games! Dude, let's play a video game!

Blade Games!

I got it.

Blade Games competition at the park?

All skills welcome?

Aw, yeah!

We're totally gonna enter.

So crazy, there's a Blade Games competition at the park right after we

got into Blade Games.

Whatcha doing?

Being creepy?

Oh, me? I just made a fake Blade Games competition to get Mordecai and Rigby to

do their jobs.

It's called gamifying.

I think it's called lying.

It's not lying. It's a motivational technique.

Uh-huh. Good luck with that.

Oh, are you two here for the Blade Games?

You know it!

More to cut, rigs slice?

Bet you can't guess who's who. Okay, so listen up. Here is how the Blade Games

work. You have to get through these five stations.

Slice the overgrown bamboo, chop the edges along the western trail, cut up

the old mylar balloons, light up that old dead tree stump, and dice the

birthday salami. The winner will get this.

The official Blade Games trophy.

Now,

if you'll come right this way, we can get things started.

Who are they even competing against?

Ready, set, go!

I mean, they absolutely suck, but I'm oddly impressed they're motivated at

all. How did you do it, Benson?

Just a little technique I learned from Pop's old motivational tapes.

Jolly good show.

There's something wrong about this.

Oh, what's the worst that could happen?

Who are they? Calvin Chapman Smith!

Mr. Chop, we're big fans.

We're here for the Blade Games.

Oh, I see the confusion.

No, no, this is more of a work function.

Not Blade Games?

What? It's not Blade Games?

No, no, it's Blade Games. Keep going.

It's not really Blade Games. It's this thing called gamifying.

You besmirched the name of Blade Games.

And now we're going to blade this park to the studs!

It is real!

Quick, before they chop it all down!

Well, that could have gone better, but at least Mordecai and Rigby are still

motivated.

Okay, this is fine. The jobs are getting done.

Oh, hey Benson, is that part of the competition?

Wait, stop!

Hey Benson, is that part of the competition?

No, please stop!

Hey Benson, is your car part of the competition?

No, no, no, no!

Jeez, that's super awkward.

Okay, time to cut and run.

Later, guys!

Whoa, bro, this is pretty uncomfortable.

Yeah, sorry, Benson.

We'll go do our jobs. Yeah, man, jeez.

I'll see what I can do about your car.

And remember, if gamifying doesn't work, pulling on the heart strings is an

effective tool that gets quick results.

Emotional manipulation.

Oh, yeah.