Original subtitles

- Wine for my warriors! - And women!

- Anything they want! - You heard him!

Hop to it! Hop to it! Great to see you again, Maceus!

Always an honor to have you grace my establishment.

The way we've been hearin' it, there's not a fightin' force

in the whole of Thrace that could stand up to you.

- The killing was good! - Oh, they're gonna be writin'

stories about you in the future.

- That's what they're gonna be doin'. - Where is he?

- You didn't hear? - Hear what?

- Demetrius is dead. - What's that the little man said?

It better be a joke. Sump'in' crazy Demetrius put you up to?

Oh, I was it was, I truly do, but I'm afraid your...

your brother really has gone over to the other side.

- I'm sorry! - Spare me your sorrow.

- I wanna know how it happened! - Hercules defeated him,

that's who it was! Down in the cave where Echidna lives.

Demetrius and Hercules went in... mm-mm-mm...

- but only Hercules came back. - Too bad for him

'cause I'm gonna cut his heart out!

Who's there? Uh, pardon me, but I'm stuck!

Wanna be the one to set me free?

Just a little kindness is all I'm asking. I've been here so long.

Oh... uh, you're not going to hurt me, are you?

It never entered my mind.

And you won't laugh at me or call me names, either?

No. Why would I do that?

Well, that's what all the other travelers who stopped here did.

The sign of Hera usually brings out the evil in people

but I'd rather bend the old witch out of shape.

- You called Hera an old witch? - Yes, I was being kind.

Whoa!

Wow! I don't believe it!

Uh, that's OK, most people don't.

This is great! I mean, nobody ever said

I was graceful but it feels so good

to get around like a normal human being again!

Ha-ha-ha! But you know what?

I haven't thanked you yet. I don't even know your name.

- Hercules. - Well, I'm Typhon

and I don't know how I'll ever be able to pay you back.

Don't worry about it. Just try to stay out of Hera's way.

Oh, that's not enough, I wanna do something nice for you,

Hercules, come on, please?

Look, Typhon I really can't think of anything.

Hmm. Ohh.

But I have to meet a friend in Plinth,

if you'd like to walk with me.

Great!

Whoa!

I'm OK. I'm OK.

This is the story of a time long ago.

A time of myth and legend,

when the ancient gods were petty and cruel,

and they plagued mankind with suffering.

Only one man dared to challenge their power-Hercules.

Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.

He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of wicked stepmother, Hera,

the all-powerful queen of the gods.

But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer,

there would be Hercules.

- I need directions. - Yeah?

Well, I got a direction for you, friend. Drop dead.

You can do better than that.

You see, the directions I need are very special.

- I wanna know where Hercules is. - Never heard of him.

- Why don't we find out for sure? - What's this, your Greek chorus?

- No, my truth squad. - Huh.

Hi, guys.

This is even nicer than I remembered!

So much room to run around,

looking at flowers trying to catch butterflies.

Ah, this is what I've been dreamin' about.

Typhon, how long did Hera have you trapped in that rock?

Uh, a hundred and one years, seven months,

fifteen days, and I don't know how many hours.

Hera never let me have an hourglass.

It's typical. Why was she so mad at you?

Because of my wife. Hera wanted her to do bad things,

but she was always happy when I was around.

Hey! Wanna race to Plinth?

- I-are you sure you're ready for that? - You bet I am!

Come on! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

What do you say we just walk?

OK.

Here we are, Typhon. Welcome to Plinth.

Boy, this place has really grown since the last time I was here.

- Really? - Yeah.

Hey, look, somebody threw a kite on top of that house.

- Uh... - Sorry.

Wait! Don't run away! Do something, Hercules.

I'll try!

Wait! There's no danger! Wait!

- Get out of our way! - If that giant needs someone

to satisfy his bloodlust it can be me!

- Let my daughter go! - You're both going to be fine.

- Huh! - Oh, Papa!

I'm not afraid of you!

I don't want to be afraid of me. I want to be my friend.

- He means it. - With all my heart.

Here you go, little fella.

Thank you.

How's that tongue of yours now? Loose yet?

Oh, no. You're gonna have to hit me a lot harder than that.

Like that?

- Yeah, that's a little better. - Enough games.

Remember Demetrius? He was my brother

and Hercules killed him.

Ahhhhh!

No.

Where's that smart mouth of yours now, huh?

No, no. Stop, stop.

Not until ya tell me where Hercules is.

Come on! Talk.

He's in Hellespont.

Put him back together for the road.

Whoa! Wait, wait. No tickling.

Hey, Hercules, tell 'em to play fair.

No, I wouldn't wanna spoil your fun.

Playing with these little rascals makes me think of my own kids.

You're a father?

Uh, it's the best feeling in the world, isn't it?

Especially when you're gettin' tickled.

Hey, what're you doin' down there?

Hercules, it looks like I owe you and your friend an apology.

He really is a nice man, isn't he?

Most people are if you, give 'em a chance.

Oh, I'm sorry if we seemed short on hospitality

but this village has seen some rough times lately.

A bad harvest and a hard winter and

- always bandits of some kind. - I didn't know that.

Yeah, one bandit in particular seems to think this village

is his personal whipping post. His name is Demetrius.

Oh, if he's the Demetrius I'm thinking of,

you don't have to worry about him anymore.

Oh, I see, oh, but there's still the damage he

and his gang did to the village meeting hall.

And my father thinks he's the one who has to repair it.

Oh, maybe I can give him a hand.

What about your friend?

I'm pretty sure the kids will be able to take care of him.

Come on.

Don't even think about running!

Why did you do that? I wasn't thinking of escaping.

I really love you guys great conversation

great social skills excellent dental hygiene.

- Why, you... - That's enough, Pylon.

You know, you should take it easy on poor Pylon.

It's not his fault that he's intellectually challenged.

- What do you mean... huh? - Enjoy yourself now, funny man.

You're the one who's gonna help us kill Hercules.

And I'm gonna make sure he knows it was you.

Try laughing then.

Papa, what're you doing? You're gonna hurt your back again!

- I've got it! - Ah!

- Are you all right? - Ah, yeah, yeah.

This getting old is for the birds.

Are you sure you can handle that by yourself?

Oh, I'll manage.

Papa, you shouldn't ask him a question like that.

It's Hercules. Well, at least,

that's what I heard his big friend call him.

He had it right.

Well, I'm Breanna and this is my father, Septus.

Hey, is it true what they say?

That you're the one that defeated Echidna?

- It was. - Oh, we owe you a debt of thanks.

She was a mean one, that mother of all monsters.

And to think that she was so close... oh, oh!

Oh, Papa. I was afraid that would happen!

Why don't you come home and rest a while?

Go on with Breanna. I'll see what I can do around here.

Oh, well, yes, I suppose I can always fix anything you mess up.

Oh, uh, before you go,

I was wondering if you'd seen a friend of mine.

- His name's Iolaus? - Ah, never heard of the man.

- Thought he'd be here by now. - Are you worried about him?

No, I'm just hoping he's not somewhere

having a good time without me.

Not saying much anymore, is he, Maceus?

Betrayal's a heavy burden to bear.

Yeah, giving up Hercules the way he did.

Yeah, but you're forgetting one thing, Pylon.

It's what Hercules deserves for killing my brother.

All right, single file across the bridge.

One by one, you heard the man.

We're still waiting for you to say something, big mouth.

Oh, OK. Uh, I'll say something.

How about... good-bye?

Don't stand there with your mouths open!

Get after him!

Sorry.

Ahhhh!

- He's a dead man! - If he is, so are you.

I want him alive so he can take us to Hercules. Now, get him!

Hey! Whatcha doing?

Hi.

Oh, a little manual labor. It's my good deed for the day.

Isn't that whatcha do all the time?

- I wish it was. - I like working with my hands,

but other things keep getting in the way.

- Like that girl I saw you with? - Breanna? Oh, no no.

I mean, she's very pretty but ever since my wife died,

I haven't been interested in anyone else.

- What's wrong? - Oh...

you just got me thinking about my own wife.

I'd say you've been away from her far too long.

I know. Boy, is Echidna gonna be surprised to see me!

Echidna? The mother of all monsters?

Yeah, that's my wife? Know her?

Uh.

Hercules, is something...

- Is something wrong? - No, every-everything is-is-is fine.

It's... I just, uh, you see, I shouldn't have...

I need to sit down.

- It's Echidna, isn't it? - Yeah, it is.

- Tell me what she did. - Oh, ya, it's-it's a long story. It's...

- Did she hurt you? - Well, you know, at-at first,

she wanted to, but, we-we... we found a way around that.

Ah, sounds like she's changed. In the old days, if I wasn't with her

when she blew her stack, people got hurt... hurt bad.

To tell you the truth,

that's what I thought was gonna happen to me.

Were the kids with her? The Hydra? The Stymphalian bird?

- The She-demon? - Well it was...

I hope they weren't getting into trouble again.

They do have a reputation as a wild bunch, don't they?

Only because nobody ever took a look at their good qualities.

I bet you never knew the Hydra could knit

or the Stymphalian bird was a great dancer.

And the She-demon? Uh, you should have heard her sing.

Th-the She-demon was a-a-a singer?

Now, right there's what I'm talkin' about.

You would have known all about it if I'd a been around.

But Hera kept that from happening when she made me a prisoner.

She robbed my children of their father and my wife of her husband.

I'm gonna tell Echidna just that when I see her.

- A-any idea when that might be? - Soon I hope real soon.

Oh.

Typhon! Typhon! Come play with us!

Be right there! You don't mind, do you?

Oh, no, no-not at all.

Ready or not, here I come!

Who are those guys?

Are they getting faster, or am I getting slower?

Go! Move! Move!

Oh, perfect.

- You're supposed to eat that. - What?

- Oh, yeah, yeah. How are you? - That's a question

I should be asking you after all the work you did.

Oh, there wasn't much to do. Your father took care of most of it.

- Uh, oh, sit down Branna. - Thanks.

- Uh, ya hungry? - No,

it doesn't look like you are, either. Is that what ya get

when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders?

- I think you're confusing me with Atlas. - No, Hercules.

I've heard enough about you to know

you're always worried about someone besides yourself.

Right now I guess it's either Typhon or that friend of yours

- who hasn't shown up yet. - It's both of them, actually.

Yeah, well, you shouldn't worry about Typhon.

- The kids will take care of him. - Hmm. Well, sooner or later,

he's gonna have to learn that life isn't all fun and games.

And your missing friend? Does he know that?

Oh, he already knows how tough life can be.

I just hope he's not finding out all over again.

Oh.

He lied to us. He's not going to Hellespont.

He's going to Plinth. I'll bet that's where we find Hercules.

- If he was lying, he dies! - It's your call, Pylon.

What are you morons doing over there? He went this way!

Check every inch of this place! You hear me?

Yeah!

Whoo!

There he goes!

We'll get him this time!

At your service, Hera.

Tell ya what. Just because you've been playing so nice...

I'm gonna let you take turns climbing on me?

- Would you like that? - Yeah!

Hey, Hercules! Come on! Join the fun!

- Maybe later. Can I talk to you? - Important talk?

- Yeah, I think it is. - Give me a second.

I'll be right with you.

What's wrong Hercules? You look like something's bothering you.

- Well, something is. - Oh, you can talk to me about it.

- I'm your friend. - I know.

That's what makes this so tough. Eh, it's...

Herc! Huh!

Herc! Hey!

He looks like he's been rolling around in the mud.

- Herc! - It's my friend, Iolaus.

- Help me. - Those men look like they don't play nice.

They're not playing.

Quick, get the kids out of here! There's gonna be a fight, Typhon!

OK. Come on, kids. Come with me.

- Herc! - Coward!

Herc!

- What'd you do this time? - Hi. It's great to see you, too.

Just give me a minute till I catch my breath.

There's Hercules! Kill him!

- Kill him like he killed Demetrius. - Make it a fast minute.

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ay-yi-yi!

- Yeah! - Yes.

- Who is this guy? - It's Demetrius' brother!

Oh.

Stay here. I've got to go help Hercules' friend.

OK, Typhon!

- Oh! - Oh, no!

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Retreat!

Yeah!

Come on!

Is there, uh, something you want to tell me?

Oh. Yeah. I thought I wasn't gonna make in time to warn ya.

Some warning. What'd you do to your arm?

Ah, it's, you know, just a little torture.

- Come on. Let's take a look at it. - Yeah, OK.

Well done, Hercules. Come on, everyone! Let's celebrate!

Yeah!

- You need a bath. - Yeah.

We were not meant to lose.

But it was Hercules. Mortals aren't supposed to defeat him.

When they have the help of Hera, they are.

Hera? How do you know she's helping us?

First the lightning bolt and then this.

What good's a feather gonna do?

That's for Hera to decide.

What is it?

It's Echidna, the mother of all monsters.

Why would Hera send Echidna to help us?

Because Hera hates Hercules as much as I do.

I'll get you yet, Hercules.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It's great to have a party like this.

Most times after marauders have been to town,

all we can do is lick our wounds.

I'd still like to apologize for bringing so much trouble here.

Aw, no apology necessary. Eh, just satisfy my curiosity.

- Why were they after you? - You know, its...

Their leader wanted revenge on Hercules for,

how can I put this politely, uh? Eradicating his brother.

Huh, any fool should know that revenge only breeds more pain.

Well, then, you shouldn't talk about it

when we're supposed to be having fun.

Hello. I'm Iolaus. And you are?

Breanna. Is your friend much of a dancer, Hercules?

Well, Iolaus and I have never danced,

but he's always looked pretty light on his feet.

Yeah. Um, allow me to demonstrate.

Hey, you dance pretty good.

No, try this.

Oh, don't worry. He always brings 'em back alive.

Well, I guess I better go and check

and see how that lamb's coming.

We can't have you saying that we never fed you properly.

Oh!

It's only me. Am I invited too?

The party wouldn't be complete without you.

I was afraid you were mad at me, Hercules.

Now, where would you get an idea like that?

You know, 'cause I almost messed up

everything for you, today.

I wanted to help, but I was too clumsy just like always.

Typhon, the only thing that matters

is that your heart was in the right place.

My heart maybe, but not my feet.

Not much further.

How do you know Echidna won't kill us?

She'll be to busy getting ready to slaughter Hercules.

This can't be it.

Well, well, well, Hercules must have sealed Echidna in there.

No wonder she didn't come out to kill him.

Yeah, but how do we get in?

With the help of Hera.

- Hello. - Hmm, oh.

- Must be love. - Well, ya hafta admit,

- Breanna's exquisite. - Hmm.

You know, after what I've been few the past few days,

she seems to make all my problems disappear.

Yeah, I wish I could find someone to make my problem disappear.

- What's that? - Typhon.

Typhon? Hmm, can't find sandals to fit him, huh?

No, what I can't find are the words to tell him about his wife.

His wife?

- Echidna. - Echidna?

You mean, Typhon is married to Echidna? Our Typhon?

- Yeah. - Wow, that doesn't make any sense at all.

- Hmm. - He's so gentle good-natured.

- I mean, she... well, she's a killer. - Ah, but he loves her.

Whoo.

I've got to tell him what happened at her lair.

Huh, it'd be easier to to fight the Hydra again.

- Except for one thing. - What's that?

Well, the Hydra was one of their children.

Oh.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

How long do you plan on staying here, Maceus?

As long as Hera wants us to. What's the matter?

- Don't you believe? - Yeah, sure.

Of course I do. But waiting in front

of a pile of rocks in the wet, it's crazy.

I don't think Echidna likes your choice of words

and I certainly don't.

Well, who do we have here?

Come on!

Come here, pilgrim.

I didn't mean no harm. I was just curious, that's all.

I just wanted to see what was goin' on.

Then you don't want to leave.

The show's just starting.

You sound pretty sure of that.

If there's anything else you'd like to say,

I'm sure Echidna would be glad to hear it.

As for you, get to Plinth.

Get there as fast as your bandy legs can carry you.

And tell Hercules that Hera has set Echidna free.

Yes, sir.

- Hercules will know it's a trap. - He'll come anyway.

The fool always acts like he can't be beaten.

I'm sure Echidna will agree with that.

Hercules, do you really have to do this?

- Unfortunately, yes. - OK.

But at least let me be there

when you talk to Typhon you know, for moral support.

Thanks, but I really gotta handle this by myself.

- I got it! - You know, if he's not careful

he's gonna kill them with his kindness.

Yeah. Hey, let us give ya a hand with that, Typhon!

Oh, great!

Oh, Typhon!

Oh, no.

Who is it? Who's there?

Maceus, brother of Demetrius.

He got the looks. I hope you got the brains!

You're proof that I did. I convinced Hera to free you.

Freedom is not enough! I want revenge

revenge on Hercules for taking my babies from me!

- Hercules will be here. - If he is not

you will die in his place.

I am sorry. I am so sorry. I...

Typhon? I really need to talk to you about Echidna.

OK.

Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!

Hey. Yeah. Take it easy. This is Hercules.

- What's wrong? - I-it's Echidna.

Hera unsealed her lair. I saw it with my own eyes.

There were warriors there, too.

- Ah, that's gotta be Maceus. - Yeah.

Wh-what do you mean, Hera unsealed Echidna's lair?

Hercules left her there after they fought.

I-I thought everyone knew that.

- You shouldn't have done that. - I had to, Typhon.

You had to hurt a woman?

Then you're not as nice as I thought you were.

I didn't hurt her. She was gonna kill my mother.

I had to fix it so Echidna wouldn't harm her or anybody else.

I-it's true, Typhon. I saw her almost kill him.

Stop it! I don't wanna hear it!

Typhon, wait! Wait a minute! Listen to him!

Iolaus!

Can you hear me, Iolaus? Come on...

I've seen you take better punches than that. Well...

- What happened, Hercules? - Th-the giant went crazy.

Well, that's what everybody's saying.

No, they're wrong. We were talking about Typhon's wife

and things got a little out of control.

A little outta control? I mean,

who's the big lunatic's wife anyway? The queen of Corsicer?

- No, it's Echidna. - Oh!

Welcome back. You've had a nice couple of days out of you.

You'll be all right, I know you will.

- Forget about your friend, Hercules. - No, Papa!

What about us? Have we gotta live in fear that

one day we'll wind up in Echidna's path?

I'll deal with her as soon as I'm sure Iolaus is all right.

You can't just deal with her. You have to kill her!

Killing never solved anything.

No, but how else are you gonna stop her?

Hercules will find a way if you give him a chance.

And I could use a hand up if it's not too much trouble.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Take care of him, Breanna. I won't be gone too long.

Hey, you're not going anywhere without me.

No, Iolaus, next time you might get killed.

- I think you should stay. - Wait a second.

Remember the state you were in when we last fought Echidna?

It's just my turn to be a mess, that's all.

All right, then let's go.

- At least your lips are working. - That's not all that's working.

There he is, the big oaf.

But, where's Hercules?

He'll be along him and that smart-mouthed friend of his.

Watch for them.

I'm going to tell Maceus the fun's about to start.

How could a sweet, innocent guy

like Typhon get hooked up with Echidna?

Go figure. I guess there's someone for everyone.

- Yeah but those two? - He says Echidna's

a completely different woman if he's around her.

It's when he's gone that her mean

streak starts showing through.

Oh, I don't care how lovey-dovey they get.

She's gonna remember how you left her trapped in that lair.

Uh, I don't think she forgot.

Oh, we also got Maceus to worry about.

Oh, yeah. Hey...

- Hmm. - You gonna let him kill you?

Nah.

Where's Echidna?

Right where she's always been, my friend.

I know you. You're the man who tried to hurt Hercules.

Yes and I'm the man who saved your wife, too.

See that, Typhon? That's what stood between Echidna

and the outside world, until my warriors and I removed it,

with our bare hands rock by miserable rock.

And you know who trapped her that way? Hercules.

He already told me. Now, let me see Echidna.

You'll see her, Typhon. But first Hercules must be

punished for what he did to your wife and to you.

He never hurt me. He set me free, after I was held

prisoner by Hera for all those years.

So what? He didn't do it until he trapped

Echidna down there in the bowels of the Earth.

And I'll tell ya something else he killed all your kids, too.

- My kids? - That's right, every last one of 'em.

That can't be true.

And there's one way you can right all these wrongs.

You've got to kill Hercules.

You know? Just once, I'd like to see us sneak up on someone.

- Think of all the fun you'd miss. - Yeah, like being watched?

- You noticed. - Force of habit.

- Too late to turn back? - Yeah.

He's coming! Hercules is coming!

- Now, you get your revenge. - Whoa...

- I'm a lover, not a fighter. - Typhon!

You're not gonna fight him, Echidna is!

All we've gotta do is lure him into the cave! Now, come on!

- Hey. - Stay where you are, Typhon!

Come, Typhon. Your wife awaits.

Ooh! Uh. Ow.

Pick yourself up. I'll go warn Echidna.

If we eat you first, Echidna can chew on your bones.

Charming, isn't he?

Very.

Whooo!

Hey! Nice move, Herc!

Thanks. Can you handle the rest by yourself?

Ha... Is the Aegean Sea wet?

- What are you gonna do to me? - Nothing. Now please, just listen.

This is all a plot to get Echidna to kill me.

You were the bait to lure me here.

Are you going to kill her like you killed my kids?

No. I'll do everything I can to keep her alive.

But you did kill my kids, didn't you?

They didn't give me a choice, Typhon.

- Not even one of 'em? - Hera had them all under her power.

There was no way they could do anything good.

But, it was Hera that kept me away from my family.

- She's my enemy. - Your kids didn't know that.

- And Echidna doesn't either. - Is Hera controlling her, too?

I'm afraid she is.

Then, I've got to go in there. Echidna will be nice

- when she sees me. - Good. Then let's go.

Typhon!

Mmmmmmmmmm-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Uhhhhh.

Uh-oh.

I'll wake you when it's over.

Hercules! Have you come back to die?

Not exactly. So where have you hidden that coward, Maceus?

- You won't live long enough to care! - We'll see, Echidna.

Oh, by the way, your husband's outside.

How dare you mention Typhon?

Ahhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhh!

Kill him!

You escaped me once!

You won't again!

Ahhhhhhh!

A-ha. Mm-wah!

- Where'd he go? - You don't wanna know.

You must pay for what you did to my children and me!

Echidna!

Look what you made me do!

Don't expect an apology.

Honey, I'm home!

- Herc, did we make it in time? - Typhon, it's you.

- Where on Earth have you been? - Oh, I'm sorry.

I would have been back ages ago, but Hera held me prisoner.

It was Hercules who set me free.

Hercules? He's the one who...

I know about the kids. It was all Hera's fault.

She's the one who made them do bad things.

Hercules was just trying to make the world a nice place.

I would have told you if you'd given me the chance.

- But Hera... - Hera wanted to keep you and Typhon apart,

because she knew how angry that would make you.

And it did. I've been such a fool.

And I've done such horrible things!

But I still love ya, Echidna.

You do?

- Then come here, lover-boy! - Oh, Baby, you're the greatest!

Ohhhh. Ohhhh.

Oooh.

Oh, those tentacles.

Yeah, I just hope they can stay together forever.

- Yeah. - I need you.

Oh you're...

Uh well, it looks like we're finished here.

Uh, think they'll miss us if we hit the road?

They'll never notice.

- Oh! Typhon! - Mmm! Oh! Oh!

Ohhhhh!

Captioned by Grantman Brown Edit & resync by Mr.Tinkles