Original subtitles

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Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Snow White.

The Queen, her jealous and nasty step-mother,

was afraid that Snow White's beauty would overshadow her own.

So she dressed the young princess in rags and made her

do all the dirty work at home.

Every day the vain queen consulted her magic mirror to find out

who was the most beautiful lady in the kingdom.

Oh wizard of the magic mirror,

rise from the shadows of your lonely cave!

Here I am, your majesty! I'm coming! Begin your questions!

So?

Tell me, mirror on the wall,

who is the most beautiful lady of all?

What can I say, my queen? You're more beautiful than ever!

And if I may speak honestly and with all due respect.

You've a lovely cunt and I envy everyone who can slip into it!

Impertinent fellow! Go away now!

Every one to his task!

Ah, yes!

Ah!

What's happening?

Give your queen a proper orgasm!

My little cunt wants to be licked

Come on! Lick me! Lick me!

Ah! Bring in the stallions!

Go!

Assholes!

Oh, my! What a wonderful feeling!

Ah!

At your command, your majesty!

Uh!

Come on! Get them ready!

Ah! How wonderful!

Ah! What pleasure! Ah!

Ah! Yes! I'm going crazy!

Ah! Yes! Go on!

I love it! A royal screw!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh, your majesty!

I'm coming too!

You're really the best in the kingdom!

Yes, your majesty!

And also the biggest bitch in the kingdom,

I'll say!

Mirror, mirror on the wall!

Who is the most beautiful lady of all... today?

Here I am your majesty!

I'm here again!

You're prettier than a rose!

Prettier than the flowers beneath the trees!

You're sugar for the bees,

but beware your majesty!

In the world today, dressed in rags,

there's a young maiden, in full bloom,

with a complection as white as snow.

She'll be the most beautiful from now on,

even more beautiful than you!

That silly rag kid! Oh, no!

It's unheard of! Get H. Ivy over here!

Get that murderer here at once!

Hurry up, go on!

Bloody hell!

Here I am, my queen!

At your command!

I have a delicate task for you!

Your wish is my command!

You know princess Snow White, don't you?

Sure, I know her!

I want you to take her into the woods,

and once there I want you to kill her. Ruthlessly!

You want me to kill her?

Absolutely!

Killing is your job, isn't it, my dear H. Ivy?

You'll receive a royal reward upon your return.

Bring me Snow White's heart!

Go now!

Yes, your majesty! I'm going!

I'm off straight away! I'm going!

Oh look, H. Ivy! Little strawberries!

Look how nice this one is!

Yes! It's a pretty little strawberry!

Oh! Here are some more!

Look, H. Ivy!

Yes, Yes! I see!

Look!

Oh, yes! Look! Look! There's not much to look about!

Here it is!

Oh!

Eh!

Uh!

See them?

Oh!

Look!

How sweet!

Uh, uh!

Uh! I'm tired!

D'you see how many?!

When we get back to the castle

I'll prepare them with lemon and sugar

and I'll let you taste them, H. Ivy!

Oh, no! Uh!

Damn it!

Oh! H. Ivy!

Oh, no! What is it you want to do?

You don't want to kill me, do you?! Have pity!

Uh! Bloody hell!

I can't kill you,

Snow White! You know me! What a shame!

And I know you!

H. Ivy, if you know him he won't kill you!

Oh, poor me!

Don't cry, Snow White!

Forgive me, please!

I didn't want to. The queen ordered me to.

She told me to kill you ruthlessly.

The queen? Why?

I can't obey such a cruel order!

Go away, go away!

Oh!

Open up, I beg you! Let me in!

Is there anybody here?

One two three four five six seven! Ah!

It's all so tiny, in here!

Uh! What a mess!

And, what's this?

Ah!

One two three four five six seven!

Uh! Everything is really tiny in here.

How strange.

Who knows, maybe little kids live here.

Maybe orphans, because there's nothing in here for an adult.

Uh! Washing bowls!

One two three four five

six seven!

I hope you realize you're now old enough to marry, my son!

What do you intend to do?

I don't know, father!

You're the king, aren't you?!

Sure I am!

You tell me then!

But can't you understand? It's time you gave me a grandson!

And, to give me a grandson, you've got to get married!

Get married?

Well you know, my son, I'm starting to feel like an old man.

What have I got to look forward to? All I have, my kingdom,

my lands, the castle... who will I leave it all to?

You'll leave all you've got to me and I,

in turn, to my son. Don't worry, father!

Ah, good! Now all we must do is find you a bride.

Look who's up there!

That one there?

Are you joking, father?!

Her?

You want me to marry her?!

Sure! She's a real babe! Imagine what a great grandson!?

No, father! She's my cousin.

So what!? Cousin or no cousin!

She's...

Oh no! Eh, eh!

Your good-hearted uncle left her land and castles all over the place.

Go on, do something about it! Go on! That's an order!

I understand!

I've got to go!

All right! I'm going!

Get a load of that! Uh!

The same old story!

Hey, son! Is this foreplay going to last forever?!

Have a little patience!

What patience!?

With a girl like that in your arms?!

You want me to go straight to the point?

Come on! Let's make him happy!

Come on, what are you waiting for!?

What a ball breaker!

Ah! Why don't you lick it?

Lick it?

Come on! Suck it. Cousin! Lick! Ah!

Uh! He's not doing anything! What a prick!

Eat me, come on!

Ah, yes! I love it!

You've got a great tongue!

There's no hope!

He'll be reciting poetry, instead of fucking!

Well, son of mine?!

Are you going to fuck her or not?

Uh!

You're a real prick!

What are you waiting for?!

Fuck her?

Uh!

Eh! What d'you think?

You think we're playing?

Yes! We're playing the best game in the world.

Fuck me, cousin! Fuck me!

Take a look at that!

Instead of fucking her, he's playing games!

Gently, you're hurting me! Ah!

Ah! Yes! Ah!

You're hurting me!

Ah! Yes! Ah!

What an asshole of a son!

Uh!

Ah!?

It's not her mouth you've got to fill, it's her cunt that wants filling!

A little patience father!

You don't want me to get her pregnant the first time round?!

I'm not going to let you get me pregnant.

I like fucking, not having babies!

Hear that?

Clear, isn't it?!

So, no grandson!

I'll marry you, but no children!

Eh, no, no, no!

You said no children?

No marriage!

No marriage?

Oh, no!

Youngsters! Where will it end?!

Oh! Look here

It's all cleaned up! The coffee cups! Flowers!

Maybe we've got squatters! What's up?

Maybe squatters have settled in!

The door! Yes! It's open!

There must be someone in the bedroom!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, oh!

Ah! How beautiful!

Really beautiful!

Enchanting!

A flower!

She's a rose!

She's an orchid!

She's a fig flower!

That's right!

Look, boys!

What a nice little cunt!

A little shell!

A little bird!

A pastry!

A pretty jewel!

A robin's nest!

A lovely lollipop!

She's opening her eyes!

She's waking up!

She's waking up!

She's awake!

She's awake!

And what now?

She's getting up!

Uh?

Me too!

Me too!

Me too!

Me too!

Me too!

Me too! Yes!

Oh!

Little fairy!

Who are you?

Ehm!

I'm Snow White!

You're a young servant. Right?!

Well, really,

I'm a princess.

Princess?

You don't mean...

really?! A princess

princess?

And how come you're here?

Well, they wanted to kill me.

Who?

Who wanted to kill you?

We'll take care of them!

It was my stepmother, she wanted me dead!

I'm an orphan.

You're an orphan?

And you don't have anyone?

An aunt. An uncle?!

Not even a cousin, a distant cousin?

Not even a little dog?

Please! Let me stay here!

Eh? What is it to you?!

You want to stay here with us? But we're just poor little dwarfs.

What could we do if someone comes looking for you?

We'll break every bone in their bodies with our hammers!

Yes! I beg you!

No one will dare harm you, while we're here!

We'll tear their ears off and all the hairs from their noses!

All of you listen! I say Snow White must stay with us.

From now on we are her family. We will teach her the facts of life.

You're welcome, Snow White!

Oh! Thank you! You're so kind!

I don't know if I'll ever be able to reward you for your kindness!

Ah, yes, yes!

Yes, yes!

Oh, yes, yes! You will!

Yes, yes! You'll see!

Yes, eh?!

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Is that so?! Then I will!

Eh, eh! Yes!

Ah, really?

Yes! Yes! I'm happy. Thank you! How sweet you are!

Here is Snow White's heart, my queen!

Ah!

This is more like it!

Ah! Now no one is more beautiful than I! Right!

And, now,

You'll get your reward!

Thank you, your majesty!

And now, pay attention!

I will introduce you to the touch of the holy.

It needs collaboration from your pussy, eh?

And this!

This?

Eh! Pull your skirt up!

My skirt?

And now, touch your little pussy with your little fingers!

Here? With my finger?

Titillate your little clit! There!

Like this?

Ah! Good girl! Good girl!

Very good! Go on, carry on!

It's getting wet. Right?!

Eh? And now, suck your finger!

It's tasty, isn't it?!

Yes! Ah!

Keep on touching yourself!

Yes! Ah!

Yes! Like that! Go on! Good! Don't stop!

It's nice, isn't it Snow White?!

Yes! Ah!

Don't stop!

Yes! Like that! Go on! Go on!

Right! Good girl! Stroke your pussy! Yes!

Go on! Go on!

Ah! Yes!

That's it! Go on! Carry on! Like that! You're good!

Oh! You're very good, you know?! Oh!

This little girl, needs a cock

And now on to lesson two!

Take a rampion, my dear Snow White, and I'll show you what to do with it!

First you kiss it gently!

Then you rub it on your pussy!

After you've caressed it in your hands. Understood?

Is that it?

Then you rub it up and down! Faster and faster!

Clear?

Oh! Ah!

Stroke it hard! And now, you try!

Try using it! Go on, try! You'll see, you'll like it!

Go on little girl! Rub it on your pussy!

Above all, remember, it needs a little kiss.

And then, to follow, a little lick of the tongue!

Good! That's right! Ah!

You're absolutely great! And now, to the pussy!

A little lick, and then to the pussy!

Yes!

Put it between your legs and move it up and down!

Up and down, up and down, up and down!

Yes! Ah! Good!

Move it in there! Ah!

And now, see, you've got to stick it inside!

Eh? Yes?

Come on! Inside! Into your pussy!

Push it up with your hand! That's it!

Good!

Oh!

Good! Good little girl! Now stroke it gently on your pussy!

Right! Up and down!

Up and down! Up and down! Up and down!

Up and down! Up and down! Up and down!

Come here, my young maid!

Get him ready for me now!

Carry on!

Go on!

I want it straight and hard!

Ah!

Come on maiden! Swallow it!

Suck it! Get it ready for me!

Go on, eat it!

Turn it into an iron rod!

Come on! Come on!

GO! Go on! Go on! Go!

Come on! Lick her! Go on!

And now, my little Snow White,

I'll lick your

pussy til you spend!

I promise you'll go raving mad

all the way - "Banzai!"

Come on! Stick it inside!

Yes, your majesty! It's ready for you now!

Now my dear little girl,

listen to me carefully

and I'll turn you into a proper little lady

First of all,

let's establish the following:

Your tiny tits

will become

two lovely melons!

You might ask yourself

"how can that be?"

A little sucking of your lovely nipples

will blow your tits up like two melons!

Is that clear, dear?

Yes, yes! It's clear!

Good girl!

You'll see them grow!

Your tits will be every girl's envy!

What tits to lick!

Do you want to know what else is necessary,

besides two nice tits?

A lovely pussy!

Listen to the old satyr!

Do you know what I'm going to teach you?

I'm going to teach you to play the clarinet.

One plays it with one's lips!

Eh?!

Do you know how to use your lips?

No!

Now I'll teach you!

What do you have to say?

Oh!

And now put out your tongue!

Yes!

That's it!

And now try to move it around in a circle!

But now you must learn to use it on me!

First of all,

you've got to moisten your lips with your tongue.

Now, at this point.

With your lips dampened,

you're ready

to play the instrument.

Clear?

Those

here!

Try!

Come on! Play the clarinet! Go on!

Go on! You've got to use your lips and move your tongue!

Try again, good girl!

Wait a moment!

There!

Good! Lick it! Oh!

You're already great with the clarinet in your mouth.

If you continue this way, You'll have no rivals at play!

Yes!

And I'm sure that whenever a man touches you,

you'll instantly give him a royal blow.

You're fabulous!

And now come, H. Ivy! I'm satisfied with your performance!

Now let it rest! Stroke it gently!

Oh! You've emptied me out. Ah!

And now, start sucking it again!

Ah! That's it!

Ah! Let's see if he comes again!

Oh! You're killing me! Ah!

Oh, mirror, mirror on the wall, come out from your dusty hall!

So now, who's the divine creature in the kingdom?

I've got to tell you, my queen,

it's still Snow White, and better than before!

What's this, a joke?! I have her heart!

I'll tell you with all due respect. Her heart is beating in her chest!

No!

If I may say myself,

there's a fellow in this room who should go hide on a shelf!

Ah!

Really?

Tell me!

I'll tell you what went on!

H. Ivy has let you down.

The son of a bitch gave you the heart of an old goat.

Snow White, my dear queen, is as happy as can be,

living it up with those little dwarfs in the woods!

How dare he!

A right little hoax he played on you, your majesty!

Ah, yes!

He'll regret it. You bet! Kill him!

Deep, into his heart!

And now, my little one, lick my lollipop, if you don't mind!

Yours?

Yes, darling!

Frog tails, bird feathers! Pumpkin blood and root milk!

Serpent nails, worm bones! Stone spit and fig tree hoofs!

Carrot horns, raspberry feet! Ant seeds and goat juice!

Watermelon nipples, chicory beards,

a sprinkle of baloney and, to finish,

an even spread of violet juice.

Sheep's cunt. Goat's prick!

Frog shit. Piss and spit of a young mosquito!

An old, toothless bumble bee, horrid spider glands!

Abracadabra!

Pipe

Anisic acid!

And now turn my young beauty into an old witch!

Aaah!

This apple will rid me of that bitch, Snow White, forever!

Great! Great! Suck it nicely!

And now into your arse hole!

Well then, are you, or aren't you going to get yourself a bride?

What do you want me to do? Find one for you, try her out. Or what?

Father!

How must I tell you, it's my business, not yours!

Your business my arse! This is State business!

You're the heir to the throne, bloody hell! Listen to me, son!

After all, I'm not asking too much?! All I want you to do is get married!

A trifle! Every one gets married, after all!

Why can't you?!

Listen, father! Don't you understand? It's my business!

All right son! Your decision! But hurry up!

Get a move on! Find a bride!

Anyone! A whore, if you like!

I'm not fussy. That's an order!

Don't come back without a bride! I'll take the throne from under your arse!

And go and get fucked the lot of you!

Prince!

Prince!

Take a look at this!

Catherine, come here!

I'm coming! Want some?

Hurry up!

I'm coming! Sorry, eh?!

I was showing him something!

Prince!

Prince!

You stay here!

Here! Mademoiselle!

You appear before me like a nymph from the woods.

How can I resist your charms?! You're beautiful and irresistible!

Oh, what are you saying? I'm confused!

I'll marry you!

No, Sire! I'm already married.

What? You're married?

Yes, Sire! Unfortunately!

What a shame! You really suited me!

Now where am I going to find another one like you, damn it!?

Come on now, back to work!

What a shame! We were having such a good time!

If I catch the bastard who invented work, I'll kill him!

See you this evening!

Kiss!

Me too! Me too!

Ah! You little bastard!

Heh, heh, heh!

Goodbye, Snow White!

Bye!

Bye!

Bye, bye!

Wait for us,

Bye!

Hey, wait for me!

Oh, oy, oh!

Oy, oh, oy!

Oh, kind young maiden! Please help me,

a poor old woman, sick and tired!

At my venerable age, I'm having to wander here and there,

without a break, to sell my apples.

Oh, poor you!

To rake up enough money to buy some food.

If you only knew how long it's been since I last had a plate of beans,

of lentil soup or sausages, which I like so much!

And I feel faint at the thought of how much time has gone by

since my last meal! Be kind! Let me in! Please!

Of course! Come in, granny!

Come and rest inside! I'll get you something to eat.

Thank you, my child! Thank you!

Come in, granny! Make yourself at home!

Thank you! Thank you! You're so kind!

Now I'll take care of you!

Thank you, dear! Thank you!

There! Sit down here!

There we are! Are you feeling better now?

Oh, yes! I had such a headache!

Oh, poor thing!

I'll give you this apple for your kindness.

I can't accept it! No, no!

Yes, yes!

No! I really can't!

Yes! This is no ordinary apple.

It's a magic apple which will make you meet your Prince Charming,

who will fall in love with you and ask you to marry him, my dear!

In that case, I can't refuse!

See? Talk about marriage

and these youngsters will pull their panties off instantly!

Take it. Take it! But. You shouldn't give it away,

you should sell it. Oh, no! Eat it. Dear,

it will be good for you! And think about marriage!

Eat it. Eat it! Just a bite!

Try! Go on! Just a bite and you'll be happy for life!

Did you hear that? It's Snow White! She's in danger!

Quick! Let's go home! Quick!

Snow White needs help. Let's go! Come on!

Let's go! We're coming!

Wait for me! I'll kill everyone!

Here I am! I'm coming!

Oh my God! What a sensation!

Come on, hurry!

Quick! Hurry!

Wait for me! I'll bash them in, bloody hell

Mmm! Aah!

Let's go! Quick! Quick!

The witch! Get her!

Catch her! Kill the bitch! Here, you old witch!

Take that! And take this too! And this!

You old, decrepit bitch! Take that!

Oh, no! No! Ah! Ah what a thrashing!

We'll skin you alive!

Quick! Let's go find Snow White!

Yes! Let's go! Snow White, where are you!

Snow White, we're coming!

Snow White! Snow White! Look!

Snow White! No! She's dead!

Snow White! Snow White! What's she done to you?

Damned old cow! Oh! What a tragedy!

Why, bloody hell! Why do this to our little cunt?

She was so pretty! Oh! May her pussy rest in peace!

What a tragedy!

What are we going to do without her? Look how beautiful she was!

She looks like she's asleep. Don't you think?

Yet she's really left us!

It's the biggest tragedy we've ever known!

Eh? She's opened her eyes! She's waking up!

She's coming back to life! Snow White is alive!

Oh! But she's really alive! Our little Snow White!

It's a miracle! It's a miracle!

Hooray! Hooray for Snow White! See how beautiful she is!

She's more beautiful than ever! Hooray for Prince Charming!

Oh! My Prince!

Oh! My Princess!

I'm afraid it's only a dream!

No! It's real!

Then you are my love?

I will never love anyone else but you!

No?

I will also never love anyone else, I promise!

We'll love each other forever!

Go on! Kiss that nipple! Give it a good suck!

Yes! Go on like that! You're wonderful! Ah!

Take a look at how good she is! She's really a born cocksucker!

You're beautiful and good at it!

What a ride! Ooh, aah! Ooh, aah!

Ooh, aah!

That's it! Go on! Get her pregnant!

To think we made her into a real woman! We're really good!

We're really good teachers!

Oh, oh!

Now what we need is a great orgasm!

Bye! Bye, Snow White! Good luck! Good luck and have lots of children!

Be happy! Bye! Don't forget us!

Bye! Bye! Thanks! Thank you all!

Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!

I won't forget you! God bless! God bless!

God bless, Snow White! Good bye! Good bye!