Original subtitles

- DEAR DIARY -

- CHAPTER I: ON MY VESPA -

- DEAR DIARY, -

- THERE'S ONE THING -

- I LIKE THE MOST -

Summer in Rome cinemas are closed.

All you can see is "Sex, Love and Shepherding",

"Bestial Desires", "Snow White and the 7 Blacks",

or horror films like "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer",

or some Italian films...

I'm afraid to rethink my life.

I'm a coward.

What happened? Tell me.

I don't know anymore.

Your temples are turning white.

The weight of defeat.

A series of defeats.

What has our generation become?

Publicists, architects...

brokers, congressmen, journalists.

We all changed for the worse.

Sold out, compromised, co-opted.

Why "all"? This fixation with us "all,"

"being sold out and co-opted"!

When did we last take a walk?

We stay together out of habit.

You're ashamed of me.

What a headache! Even Optalidon are different now.

Remember the rattle of pills in the old tube?

Everything has really changed.

Know what, Antonio? You have worsened.

You have no real feelings.

We're old, bitter, dishonest.

We used to shout awful, violent slogans.

Look how ugly we've gotten!

You shouted awful, violent slogans.

You've gotten ugly.

I shouted the right slogans and I'm a splendid 40-year-old!

What I like the most is to see houses, neighborhoods.

My favorite neighborhood is the Garbatella.

I stroll through the old housing project.

I don't like to see only the facades.

I like to see the inside too.

I ring the buzzer

and pretend I'm location scouting... for a film.

The tenant asks me what the film is about.

I don't know what to say...

It’s a film about a Trotskyist pastry chef

in Italy during the 1950s. A musical.

Not bad, a musical comedy about a Trotskyist pastry chef

in the conformist Italy of the '50s!

On my Vespa,

I enjoy looking at penthouses where I'd like to live.

I see myself renovating those penthouses,

whose owners... have no intention of selling.

One day, a penthouse which seemed more affordable,

Silvia and I went up to take a look at it.

We asked the price.

"$700 a square foot."

$700 a square foot?!

"You can't talk square feet",

"via Dandolo is a historic street,"

"Garibaldi fought here."

I may be nuts,

but I love this bridge.

I need to cross it twice a day.

You know what I was thinking? A very sad thing:

even in a more decent society than this one,

I'll only feel at ease with a minority of people.

Not like in those films where a couple

fights on a desert island

because the filmmaker doesn't believe in people.

I believe in people. I just don't believe in the majority of people.

I'll always be in tune with a minority.

Good luck!

My secret dream has always been to dance well.

"Flashdance" was the film...

that changed my life.

It was a film about dancing, about knowing how to dance.

But in the end I just watch.

Which is fine, but it's something else altogether.

You know what my dream is?

To know how to dance.

I was never the same

after I saw "Flashdance", with Jennifer Beals.

Is that dancer Jennifer Beals?

How I envy them! Is she Jennifer Beals?

Spinaceto, a recent housing development.

Bad-mouthed by everyone.

"This sure isn't Spinaceto!"

"You live in Spinaceto or something?"

I remember reading a story

called "Escape from Spinaceto",

about a kid who got out of there

and never went back.

So, let's go see Spinaceto.

Spinaceto! I expected worse. It’s not bad!

I was just thinking that.

Casalpalocco. Driving by these homes,

I smell jogging suits,

video tapes, watch dogs in the garden,

pizzas in cardboard boxes.

Why did they come here 30 years ago?

Why did you move to Casalpalocco?

- This green, this peace... - Yeah, green...

- You moved here around 1961... - '62.

- 30 years ago, Rome... - Was a marvelous city!

It’s different here.

But Rome was beautiful then!

That's what frightens me.

Watch dogs, videos, slippers.

Jennifer Beals?

- Yes? - From "Flashdance"?

- What'd he say? - "Who are you."

I’d always liked to know how to dance.

If I lived in Emilia Romagna,

there are old people’s homes, hospitals that work,

dance schools,

tango, merengue...

When I hear music, I could dance instead of watch.

Those shoes are very comfortable!

So simple, yet... They must feel good on your feet.

Yes, very comfortable.

What'd you say? "Crazy"?

Wasn't it "crazy"?

What does that mean?

Special, peculiar, almost crazy, but not quite.

Dumb, almost dumb.

Even in other cities

I only like to look at houses.

What would be great is a film just of houses. Panning shots of houses.

Garbatella, 1927.

Olympic Village, 1960.

Tufello, 1960.

Vigne Nuove, 1987.

Monteverde, 1939.

- HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER -

Hey, am I stuttering? Fork over the $50 and go to hell.

Here's your 50 bucks.

Need a hand?

Otis, do you need a hand or can you do it by yourself?

I wander around the city for hours

trying to remember who said good things about this film.

I read a review,

I read something positive about "Henry"...

Suddenly I remember I find the review

and copy it in my diary. Here it is:

"Henry kills people, but he's a kind of good guy,"

"Only facts count for him."

"Otis is the real scum."

"Henry has a mad solidarity with his victims,"

"a prince of annihilation,"

"promising a merciful death."

"The director awakens the public"

"to its worst nightmare: a shower of gore,"

"impaled eyes, martyred fresh: abomination."

"Henry: the first to dismember"

"the criminal philosophy of the Hollywood racists."

I wonder if whoever wrote this,

before falling asleep, has a moment of remorse.

- When did this begin? When did all this begin? - I don't know.

Maybe when you wrote:

"This Korean film was a costume melodrama",

"Demented clothes and hats."

"Super-feminist, flamboyant and diabolical."

"Shot like Spielberg on acid"

"in futuristic rhythms and spaces."

"And then there's Cronenberg's 'Naked Lunch"':

"pure high-budget underground pus."

"A real cult movie."

"It’s not that I. Demme's women are superior."

"Not are they what the proletarians and lumpen"

"of the three circling worlds were for Lin Piao."

"But only his women"

"have the gumption to uphold the righteous side"

"in the War of the imaginary, scalped in hand."

"Before Lula e Sailor join in for the happy ending,"

"murmuring "Love me tender",

"Sailor will spend years in the pen"

"shattered human heads will fly,"

"dogs will grab cut-off hands,"

"hundred of Kools and Marlboros will be smoked..."

I don't know why, but I'd never been

where Pasolini was murdered.

- CHAPTER II: ISLANDS -

The boat arrives in Lipari.

I'm visiting a friend who moved here 11 years ago.

Ever since, he's been studying Joyce's "Ulysses".

I'm beginning to write my film.

I’ve brought press clippings that I'll need for my work,

which I’ve been saving for years.

I know that I'll work in Lipari.

An orange juice, please,

and a sandwich...

mozzarella...

If everybody went on foot, there'd be less accidents.

A sandwich...

Tomato and mozzarella. Thanks.

- What were you watching? - When?

Inside, on television.

It’s not TV, it was a strange film:

Silvana Mangano was a nun. Then she dances in the middle...

- It must happen to you too. - Never!

- You never watch TV? - Never.

I haven't watched TV for 30 years.

You know what Hans Magnus Enzensberger says?

I agree with him.

It’s the first time

in all my years here that's there's such confusion.

- Believe me? - Yes.

You clip funny news items?

For years, I’ve accumulated dumb information, stupid articles.

Evidently I'm attracted...

by these things.

Too much noise, too much confusion...

We decide to leave for Salina, a quieter island, more domestic.

Gerardo has friends there. They have children.

No, "one" child. In Salina... everyone has one child.

We'll be calm there. Manage to get something done.

You're not being very polite

considering I’ve come to bring your wedding present.

Look who's there!

You won't close the casino down!

- Why all this hatred? - I'll tell you why:

I hate people like you.

You give others false hope,

then toss them in the mud.

Go home, try to calm down.

Take my word: your cathedral will never see the light of day.

You came back.

I have something to tell you.

Hope it's good news.

I'm not sure we can trust her, but I saw Gina today.

Gina says Kit wants to get back at you, at all costs.

That's nothing new.

He told me himself, way back!

I can't believe that for Pietro

these first years will mean nothing.

He’d never know.

He’d never remember this period of intimacy and closeness,

when he needed me so much.

Something big has just happened:

he toilet trained himself.

We were both going to take 2 weeks off work

to do it.

But he did it alone!

He has made no mistakes. He began to behave like an adult.

And the first day of school?

We were up all night, We were worried, angst-ridden.

First day angst.

Pietro just slept.

He didn't know his life would change the next day.

Is he asleep?

He's going through a complicated but transitory phase.

Going from a family regime

to a school regime, where he...

He's asleep, the volume is okay.

Sees lots of children, lots of people.

Daniele!

- What's wrong with him? - Nothing.

I watched TV last night.

- A good program. - "Italy's most wanted". - Very good!

But I didn't get it all...

In that family...

- They upset you? - A little.

They go too far with Pietro.

We have a different relationship with Daniele.

We want another child,

but we're afraid of his reaction.

And we often ask him.

Every 2 or 3 years we ask: "Want a little brother?"

He gets pissed off.

I'm afraid.

We're afraid.

How are you?

Sara, it's Lorenzo, Daniele's Dad. Remember?

Put Dad on, please.

How does the cat go?

And the grasshopper?

The grasshopper goes "cri-cri".

Now put on Dad, please.

And the lamb?

The lamb goes "baaaa".

The rooster goes "cock-a-doodle-doo".

How does...

Sara, please, put Dad on.

The donkey goes "hee-haw".

I don't know all of them.

For years now, Salina was dominated by only children. Each family...

The chick goes "peep-peep".

Each family has one child, only one,

to whom was entrusted the command of the situation.

It was impossible to communicate by phone.

In the homes,

children intercepted all calls...

It’s Rosanna. Dad or Mom there?

Here's Dad. Bye.

Leandro, who am I?

Hello, who's there? I’m Paolo.

What's your name? What's my name?

It's Franco.

And the little pig?

And the hippopotamus?

I don't know the giraffe!

The little pig.

I don't know the swallow!

Who's home, Mom or Dad?

Mom and Dad are here, but I’m gonna tell you a story.

Here goes...

UN-der-stand what I’m say-ing?

- Fine, go ahead. - Understand when I talk? Put Mom on...

The little pig.

Wake up!

No! The light!

Daniele's awake, he's waiting.

Ln 15 minutes it's the worst time of day.

- Why? - It's almost 3:00 A.M.

- The hour of the wolf. - The hour of the wolf!

The hour when we're the loneliest.

Every 3:00 A.M., for 12 years,

Daniele gets in bed with us. You coming?

- May we? - Come in.

- How is it going tonight? Are you scared? - No.

There's lots of us to keep you company.

Under the covers!

- Sure you're not scared? - Yes, yes!

- He's never had a baby-sitter. - Why not?

- We've always stayed with him. - Always!

- You've never gone out? - Never.

So we've read everything: Von Kleist, Hegel.

Spinoza...

We read Federico Tozzi...

- We read all of Xenophon, - Svevo.

- Herodotus... - Then...

Tacitus.

All of Tacitus!

All of it!

Saint Augustine...

- Delfini, Meneghello e Capitini. - Cicero, read and re-read.

And Rousseau...

- And Leibnitz... - Wittgenstein.

Dear Diary, we sail by the island of Panarea.

Gerardo says he's never been,

but points out the nights spots, the discos, the restaurants, the pubs.

We decide not to stop in Panarea.

We sail towards Stromboli,

where we're sure we'll finally manage to...

Some lines of Tibullus came to mind

that describe how we are

in front of the TV.

"Quam juvat": how beautiful...

When we're slumped on a couch: "Cubantem".

To hear the impetuous winds: "Immites ventos", battling amongst themselves.

I remember them thanks to a variety show.

Give it to me!

The list of what you were supposed to make me do!

I must never waste time!

Everyone told me:

on arriving in Stromboli you feel "the menacing presence of the volcano".

Gerardo and I have a fight.

He didn't remind me I was here to work.

I had given him my "to do" list

but all I've done is waste my time.

I’m the Mayor! Glad to meet you, Professor.

Please, be our guests.

No, we'd prefer a hotel, we have to concentrate.

A friend has a perfect place. Come!

We're expecting a Japanese agronomist responsible for the 110,000 acres

around Tokyo.

He wants to talk about my projects.

Riccardo!

He wants to understand the secret of our equilibrium.

It's me!

I've given up the plan for an avenue

with palm trees from L.A.!

I’d like to give this island back the identity it has lost.

Piazzas, streets, gardens, fountains, theaters!

- They have no place to sleep. - That's enough!

Excuse me.

I have so many projects... but they all fall through!

Everyone is so hostile here.

Why are they so hostile?

I need to put these friends up...

The opposite of Amsterdam, where you walk at night,

as if wandering through living rooms, bedrooms...

Everything's lit up, visible, a life... without curtains.

I’m the Mayor, you can't treat me like this!

They have to concentrate three or four days...

They don't cooperate. It's no use.

Must be the volcano's menacing presence.

We have the human material:

there's a mixture between Italians and Germans,

very interesting!

Big families, not like in Salina with zero growth.

I have 3 children, for example.

All this wasted potential!

What a shame!

- Here you have to continue on foot. - Up this way?

Go slow and steady. Sorry,

I’m expecting a call from the Japanese agronomist,

the one responsible for the 110,000 acres.

Fine, goodbye. See you tomorrow, thanks.

There's something hypnotic,

an ancient link... Don't turn around.

Don't turn around!

What's wrong?

A group of Americans, at the rest area.

Do me a favor, I’m embarrassed.

I’d like to know if Sally Spectra told her husband she was pregnant, or not...

"The bold and the Beautiful".

- They are ahead of us in America. - Further on with the episodes.

And did Stephanie learn anything

on her ex-husband's ex-wife.

Whose wife is Nancy?

Thorne's.

Where did Stephanie plant the mikes?

Ln the home of her ex-husband's new wife!

Why?

Because she's jealous!

What was Sally Spectra's problem?

She's pregnant! Does her husband know or not?

She told him!

Ln these episodes?

Ln this phase,

Nancy is madly in love with her tennis teacher.

There's no hope for Thorne!

I’m so envious of the music of Panarea.

I’d like to ask Ennio Morricone to write some music,

a soundtrack for the village.

- Could be an idea. - Like that western... How does it go?

Exactly.

Good luck with everything.

We may never see each other again...

The island lit up by a great photography director.

Storaro doing the lighting and the sunset of Stromboli!

Rebuilding Stromboli from scratch! Rebuilding Italy,

a new way of life.

New light, new sounds,

a new way of talking, new colors, new tastes...

All new!

Okay, listen, we're going to Panarea.

We're going to Panarea.

Welcome! Excuse me...

- Welcome to Panarea. Where are you coming from? - Stromboli.

What a drag!

I've been preparing a party in honor of bad taste

for the last year.

Helmut Berger's coming in his underwear.

Saturday there'll be my divorce party.

Do you always organize things like that?

My company does everything: cocktail parties, trips...

A white elephant for an exotic dinner,

a special photographer for a wedding ceremony.

A Watusi to liven up a party.

Ideas, creativity, atmosphere, networking.

Thanks and goodbye!

Dear Diary, I’m happy only at sea, sailing,

from the island I've left

to the one I’m going to.

We're sailing towards Alicudi,

the remotest and wildest island.

Bet you're one of these opposed to "Italy’s Most Wanted".

Can we deny Ulysses, after the fall of Troy,

the right to roam?

To stop at Circe's, Calypso's, Nausicaa's?

Certainly not.

Otherwise there'd be no Odyssey!

But we can't deny his family's right to look for me.

His son Telemacus wanders around the Greek Islands

looking for his father

with a single message, "Wanted: Ulysses".

Good morning.

Italy can't be saved.

- He's waiting for you. - Who?

A man who refused success.

Hates narcissism. Everyone here does.

Alicudi welcomes only those who think like Alicudi.

Here you'll find energy to work.

Alicudi gives more than other islands.

I know. I've been told.

- Ls it far? - Yes.

Any other roads?

There are no roads.

There aren't any roads!

Listen, this person... who is expecting us.

He wrote a successful book. Too successful.

Too successful!

He came here to atone.

- Alicudi is "the" island. - I know.

I don't like the other islands.

They are all corrupted.

They don't know how to live alone.

Here everyone lives alone.

Enzensberger...

says television is nothingness. Fine.

But prove to me that the soccer match

Honduras-Belgium 3 to 2, with all its thrills,

was worth nothing. - Actually...

That nothing seemed a lot to me. And to you!

Okay, for me too.

- That last minute penalty... - Yes, but I have a problem to solve.

There are no shutters.

I know...

tomorrow morning I’ll be awake at dawn.

I can only sleep in pitch black.

- Yes, I admit it. - What?

I've gone a bit overboard with television.

Yeah, okay...

- But I’m over it now. - Good.

It's peaceful here, no?

On this island...

You're here?

I never go out because men are scary.

I can't sleep with light;

there's no shutters. Do you have any tape?

I want to put together...

I found this cardboard.

I want to live here without roots. Our roots are too heavy.

All these years I've been ashamed of Italy.

Ashamed of the other islands:

so greedy, overfed, ignorant and narcissistic.

Where people who don't feel guilty live.

We've retired here to think of others.

Italians are one of the most vulgar people on earth.

This country has such a desperate need to laugh.

What's there to laugh about?

Can I have the crust?

We've been in Alicudi a few days.

It's really a different island from the others

and we finally succeed in concentrating.

Here it's very calm.

Deadly calm.

Are you working?

I’m writing my diary for now, but...

I’m writing to the Pope

because he excommunicated soap operas.

He says they harm family togetherness.

Dear Holy Father,

forgive me, but you are wrong,

our families are more and more withdrawn.

Thanks to soap operas

we express interest in other, faraway families

with whom we share problems, dramas and joys.

"Ines, a Secretary", 10:30 A.M.

"Flamingo Road", 12:50 P.M.

"Falconcrest", 2:00 P.M.

"Maria", 2:25 P.M.

"Santa Barbara", same time, different channel.

"Celeste", 4:25 P.M.

"The Bold and the Beautiful", 7:15 P.M.

A few days without TV,

but I don't miss it.

- On this island... - On this island?

There's no electricity.

So?

There's no TV here.

Television!

Elevator!

Telephone!

Hot water!

Wait for me!

Television!

How can you live without TV? Stop!

Hans Magnus Enzensberger stirs my pity

when he says TV transmits nothingness!

Stop!

Karl Popper, you're mistaken!

TV is not a monster corrupting children.

Children don't become moronic

watching TV, they daydream

as in old times they daydreamed listening to fables and legends.

- CHAPTER III: DOCTORS -

Dear Diary, I've kept the prescriptions accumulated in a year

and all the notes I took

after every doctor's appointment.

Nothing in this chapter is invented:

prescriptions,

doctors' appointments,

conversations with doctors.

At home after 1:30 P.M. Thanks, bye.

At home after 1:30 P.M., we can...

It's my last session of chemotherapy,

treatment for cancer.

I've decided to film it.

He can, but inevitably...

Well, that's true, though.

No, that's not true.

Careful with the ear.

- How is it now? Too low? - No, no, go ahead.

Is it tight enough?

Is it okay?

- Doctor? - Yes? - Ls there Deticene in there?

Better not to know! Does it sting?

A little. Let's leave it, but stick around.

One day I started to itch especially at night.

I called it hives, but it was nothing of the sort.

I’d heard of a famous Dermatological Institute in Rome.

People come at dawn, even from out of the town,

they take a number and wait their turn.

Moretti Giovanni, born in Brunico 19/8/1953.

- Have you ever been treated for this before? - No, it's the first time.

- What's wrong with you? - I have a terrible itch.

- Since when? - Almost a month.

- Where? - On my feet and arms.

- When is it worst? - During the night.

The skin is a little dry...

Let's look here...

I was afraid it was scabies...

No, that's a disease that usually affects other social classes.

Yes, there's a reaction.

- Have you had hepatitis? - Yes, a long time ago.

- Other important illnesses? - No.

- Do you eat? - What do you mean?

- Do you have an appetite? - Yes, I do.

You should go somewhere warm, to the seaside.

Cold dries the skin,

increasing these symptoms.

I'll give you 1 Histamen before dinner.

1 Flantadin, in the morning for a week.

A half pill the second week.

I take all the pills but the itch doesn't go away.

I return to the Institute.

The doctor's not there that day.

Another doctor examines me.

- Your skin's very dry, needs nourishing. - I know.

Do you have a coin?

A coin?

Watch out for the moles.

Thank you.

Dermatographism, I think it's a food allergy.

You can get dressed.

Could also be a nervous problem, stress.

The life we lead, you lead, Mr. Moretti.

Here's your colleague's prescription: Histamen, Fitamid.

- Should I keep taking them? - No.

Get some lab tests: blood count, sedimentation rate,

I’ll order them...

Now I’ll give you Fristamin, 1 a day for a month.

Prazene drops...

Hematocrit 46,

hemoglobin 16.3,

red cell count...

I do the blood tests, the results are normal.

But the itching continues, even increases.

I remember there's a famous dermatologist in Rome,

a sort of Prince of dermatologists.

I phone the Prince's office.

I’d like an appointment with the Professor.

Fully booked for three months?

It's urgent, I have a terrible itch...

Who's the Professor substitute, his Assistant?

You send him the overflow...

Fine, give me his number.

Thanks, goodbye.

Are you going through a stressful period?

- Yes, because of the itching. - Drink a lot of coffee or tea?

A lot of tea.

Per day, drink at most one tea, one coffee or one Coke.

I understand.

These are the medicines the others gave me.

I know them, good colleagues...

I’ll give you something else:

Anfo 3 for the shower.

Idroskin after the shower,

Infloran,

a pill one day on an empty stomach.

Atarax,

1 pill in the morning,

1 pill in the afternoon...

I like to take medicines,

and I like to think they do me good.

But the assistant was too ill-at-ease.

I couldn't believe him, even with goodwill.

It was the only time

I didn't go to the pharmacy.

I go back to the Dermatological Institute.

Not to the dermatology clinic, but to the allergy clinic.

- These tests... - Watch out for moles!

Will show you if you're allergic.

First we test the main groups,

foods, dust, and pollens,

then identify the individual substances.

For 1 week I get 30 pricks a day on my back.

I’m allergic to milk products,

nuts, fish and pork.

The following days, they identify specific foods

I’m allergic to and mustn't eat.

I’m allergic to many foods,

and I need a vaccine.

These foods are: corn, barley, oats, garlic, onions, mustard, almonds,

beans, soy, peas, parsley, artichokes, lettuce, tea,

hops, pepper, chestnuts, salmon, sardines, tuna,

cow milk protein, cow casein, goat casein,

Swiss cheese, Gorgonzola, Dutch and pork.

The itching continues,

but, through a friend,

I finally get to see the Prince of dermatologists,

just before the holidays.

Colopten 3 times a day.

Cinazyn 20 drops after meals,

Caprolisin one vial at 6:00 P.M.

Before going to bed, alternate Fenistil, Xanax and Atarax.

- One different evenings. - Alternate. - Fine.

For legs and arms, these 4 medicines.

For the scalp itch 1 Ecoval Scalp Fluid,

3 drops at night.

Remember to wash your hair daily alternating 3 shampoos I've prescribed.

- Every day? - Every day.

Moretti, you must help me.

- My family and I are your fans. - Thank you.

Help me. Though it's summer and hot,

you must always wear knee-high cotton socks.

- I see you don't wear socks! - Not in summer.

Knee-high cotton socks

and long-sleeved shirts even at the beach.

The skin must always be in contact with cotton.

- I’ll jot down my beach house phone. - Thank you.

When you come back, you'll be feeling better.

Hope so. Sorry, I showed up unexpectedly.

Miss, a special price for Mr. Moretti.

Creams too: Ictyane, Akerat...

And Ictyane, Akerat and Soagen for the body.

And Fargan cream

and Factan, Apolar and Mavigen shampoos.

- All three? - Yes, I have to alternate.

One day I decide to read the information sheets in the boxes.

Something I never do.

Caprolisin.

Let's see...

Anti-hemorrhagic recommended for all hemorrhagic syndromes,

internal hemorrhaging.

Caprolisin: out.

Then

Cinazyn.

Helps circulation, increases blood flow,

for poor cerebral circulation...

So Cinazyn helps circulation: out!

Dear Diary, the vaccines have arrived.

Lust to be sure, I call

an immunologist friend.

Hi Guido, it's Nanni.

Listen, it's too long to explain.

A month and a half ago, I had tests

and discovered I was allergic to many foods.

I ordered a vaccine which arrived...

What? Anaphylactic shock?

He tells me the vaccines are useless

and can make you go into shock.

That is not a food allergy...

Allergy gives hives, a rash, not just an itch.

I go back to seeing dermatologists.

There's one not so famous as the Prince

who I've heard good things about. I make an appointment with him.

My Vespa is broken, so I take the car.

Stuck in traffic for one hour, you get jumpy in traffic.

You go to the doctor because you're sick,

you pay to hear:

you're acting like a loser. It's psychological,

depends on you. I see you are acting like a loser.

- Why are you scratching? - The itch...

There's no urgent need, but you're scratching.

Anyway, Trimeton, one shot daily for seven days.

Fenistil, one pill at night, Legederm cream, when needed.

Thank you.

I've given you the treatment, but remember: it depends on you.

Now I’m convinced that the cause of this itch is psychological.

It depends on me, it's my fault, only my fault.

I try to remember what happened 8 months ago

when the itching started.

It depends on me, he says I have to cooperate,

force myself not to scratch.

It all depends on me.

If it depends on me, I’m sure I won't make it.

My mother gave me silk pajamas

and linen sheets to alleviate the itch.

Now, at night, it's not just an itch.

I wake up after half an hour.

I sleep an hour and a half, two hours.

I've been treating this lady...

After a few sessions, her cholesterol went down.

Satisfying.

I’m at loss with my itch.

Avoid all red foods: tomatoes, carrots, oranges, strawberries.

Red foods, nil!

Last night I didn't stop scratching...

You've hurt your big toe.

The toe is the head: you wanted to hurt your head last night.

So should I put a cream on it?

Use a compress with cabbage leaves.

Take the leaves, dip them in boiling water and make a compress. It's better.

I see. Perfect.

I didn't know if those massages would do me good,

but they'd do no harm.

It was pleasant,

that half hour relaxed me.

The reflexologist prescribed calendula cream,

the Ribes Nigrum and Tilia Tomentosa

and told me to take bran baths.

I continue to lose weight and I get night sweats.

I go to a Chinese Medical Center.

Two doctors, Chu Hu and Yang, examine me.

They take my pulse, then trade places.

Have you been exposed to wind?

Wind? Well, I ride a Vespa, but Rome isn't that windy...

Ln traditional Chinese medicine itch corresponds to wind in the blood.

Stick out your tongue. It's white, sticky.

Fallen kidneys?

Fallen kidneys?

Dr. Yang asks if you're overindulged in sex.

No.

- Hurt you? - A bit.

The last two, okay?

Very good.

Dr. Yang leaves me alone in the room.

He leaves me for 15 minutes,

I even doze off.

Then he returns.

- How are you? - Fine.

- You feel a little heat? - Yes.

For now, acupuncture has no effect

on the itch or the insomnia.

At the Chinese Medical Center they're nice.

There's a pleasant atmosphere, so I keep trying.

Hold tight, like that.

- How's that? - Fine.

- Does it hurt? - Yes.

- Can I turn it up? - Yes.

To treat the itch they try electric acupuncture,

with something they call a "plum flower needle".

But Dr. Yang notices my cough,

says the treatment's not working, isn't correct.

It would be best to do a chest X-ray.

Take your jacket off.

The t-shirt too?

No, just the jacket, it has buttons.

Hold the box,

chin slightly lifted.

Breathe.

Hold it.

Don't breathe.

The technician develops the X-ray,

Tells Silvia there's a mass around the lung

and says to get a CAT scan right away.

Is it disgusting?

- No, tastes like anisette. - Ln that case...

Don't breathe, don't move.

Breathe.

Stop, don't breathe.

Breathe.

Stop, don't breathe.

Breathe.

While I’m getting the CAT scan of my head,

the radiologist examines the chest scan.

He talks about it with Silvia and Angelo.

Says he thinks I have a sarcoma of the lung.

They ask what a sarcoma is. "Lung cancer."

According to him, any attempt at treatment would be useless.

Luckily, the radiologist guessed wrong.

They operate two days later

and a doctor friend present at the operation

says later that the surgeon,

looking at a piece he'd cut out,

said:

"I’ll bet my ball this is Hodgkin's lymphoma."

"Not both balls, but one yes."

Hodgkin's is a cancer of the lymphatic system,

a treatable cancer.

One day, at home, I leaf through a handbook of medicine.

Under "Lymphoma" it says:

"Symptoms include itch, weight loss, and sweating."

I have learned one thing from this story.

Or rather two:

first, that doctors know how to talk but don't know how to listen.

And now I’m surrounded by all the useless medicines

I took over the course of a year.

The second thing I learned is that in the morning, before breakfast,

it's healthy to drink a glass of water.

They say it's good for the kidneys, or something...

Anyway, it's healthy.

Well then: a light cappuccino, a roll...

And a glass of water.