Original subtitles

[typewriter clacking]

[radio] This is Fred Heckman.

You're listening to WIBC radio.

[Ralph Bass] Fred, we're all very excited,

the possibility of you joining us here in New York.

You took the job?

Honestly, I-I don't know.

Do not turn down the CBS job because of me, Fred Heckman.

Tony! Sorry I'm late. Traffic.

Well, I appreciate you making the time, Dick.

[officer] Indianapolis Police Department.

I got a 12-gauge sawed-off shotgun

wrapped around a man's neck.

[Judy] Paul called in during the meeting.

He picked up a possible 134 on the police scanner.

134, is that kidnapping?

[Paul] An armed man entered Meridian Mortgage.

- You got a name? - Yeah, Tony Kiritsis.

Fred, there's a call for you.

No, I've gotta get on the air.

It's Tony Kiritsis.

This is Fred Heckman speaking.

[Tony] Let me tell you 'bout this motherfucker!

He and his father, both of them

are born-and-bred cheats and liars.

Are they planning on foreclosing on you, Tony?

[Tony] You're goddamn right they are, Fred!

I want you to interview me live on the air.

We absolutely cannot put this man on the air.

You heard the mouth on him!

The FCC fines alone,

you know how much they fuckin' charge for a "fuck"?

$300?

This is a family-fucking- oriented radio station.

[Ben] If Tony decides to kill Dick

in the middle of your live interview,

that is all you're gonna be remembered for.

This is gonna be your legacy.

[Fred] I would like to caution our listeners

that what you are about to hear

will be an interview with Tony Kiritsis.

- [collective gasping] - Oh, my god.

[Fred] After considerable debate,

we here at WIBC have agreed

to his request for an interview.

Better get ready, Dick.

If you are listening to this program with children,

I strongly urge you to turn it off,

right now.

Hello, Tony.

You are live and on the air.

[typewriter clacking]

[tuning radio]

[reel-to-reel machine clicks]

[main show theme begins]

[upbeat jazz music]

[reel-to-reel clicks]

[upbeat jazz music]

- [tuning radio] - [telephone ringing]

[upbeat jazz music]

[disconnected tone beeping]

[upbeat jazz music]

[jingle playing] ♪ WIBC ♪

[Fred] Tony, I want to get back to something

you mentioned to me earlier, off the air.

You said

you wanted to talk about your grievances.

Your goddamn right I did, baby!

These cocksuckers never had any fucking intention

of helping me develop my land.

[Jerry] Any more "fucks,"

and we'll be bankrupt by lunch!

Can you bleep him?

I can't predict what he's gonna say, man.

- Tell me more about your... - Jesus fucking Christ.

...and keep in mind, Tony,

we do have, uh, families listening to the broadcast...

so maybe be a little more mindful of your vernacular.

[Jerry] Vernacular, my ass!

[Gallagher] I need to hear this.

[Tony] Now, listen, listen.

The Halls are a three-headed devil dog.

They got a mortgage company, they got a real-estate company,

and they also do construction, all under the same roof.

Now, you tell me,

does that sound like the fuckin' mafia to you?

[Fred] So their businesses are intertwined,

is that what you're saying?

[Tony] Hey, that's it! That's exactly it!

You see it!

It's a typical bump-and-squeeze type of operation

that the Interstate Commerce Commission tries to discourage.

And here's the rub,

they give you a mortgage

just so they can foreclose on you.

[Fred] Your contention

is that they planned to foreclose on you all along.

[Tony] Yeah! Yeah. Listen. listen.

This man's father,

real son-of-a-bitch if you ever met one,

promised me he would help me develop the land,

but he never had any intention of doing so.

Listen. Eisner-Osco Supermarkets were prospective tenants.

The Halls showed them seven sites on the West Side,

but not my site.

They steered 'em away from me, away from my American dream.

I have proof, Fred. Fred, I have proof.

Now, why would a mortgage company do that?

So they can pocket the land, Fred!

That's the game!

They set it up so I'd have to foreclose,

so they could buy it cheap in a Sheriff's sale.

They take your money up the front,

and your property at the end.

They get that long-duck schlong every which way!

[Jerry] Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

[Tony] They're foreclosing on me March 1st,

and I'm trying to stop it. I want an extension.

I paid the interest. I'm entitled to it.

Fred, do you know what this man's father said to me?

You're talking about M.L. Hall,

Dick's father, and the owner of Meridian Mortgage?

[Tony] That's right, yeah. This man's father said to me,

"Why should I lend you more money?

I'm gonna own that place for $100,000."

[shouting] This man's father said to me,

"Why should I lend you more money?

I'm making money on you now!"

Listen, the only thing cheaper

than what I done with this shotgun

is what they tried to do.

I found that land!

I found it, and fuck it! Fuck you!

- [Fred] Okay, okay... - Fuck you!

- No, no, no. - Turn it off. Turn it off!

Tony, just wait a second, now.

What dream?

You mentioned a dream.

What is this dream?

Oh, I don't think so, Fred.

[Fred] You don't think so what?

Well, you know, you start telling people your dreams,

and they shit all over you.

They call you crazy.

I'm not crazy! I'm not fuckin' crazy!

I've been an angry man for 44 fuckin' years.

I'm the strongest man mentally I've ever known,

but they betrayed me. They set me up.

They schemed to ruin a human life.

Well, I want to hear about the dream, Tony.

Was it about the... was it about the land?

[sniffles]

I own 17 pristine acres

in the most profitable, most beautiful area

a man could imagine...

ideal for a state-of-the-art shopping destination.

Let me ask you something, Fred,

and don't lie to me.

Do you like steak?

Well, I certainly enjoy a nice ribeye now and again.

'Course you do!

What honest American man doesn't?

[Fred] Is that what you wanted to do?

You want to build a restaurant on your land?

[Tony] No, not just a restaurant.

An experience!

You know what an experience is, Fred?

It's something that changes you,

even if it's just a whisper.

An experience?

That certainly sounds like something.

[Tony] Picture this, picture this.

Classic American steakhouse,

red booths, martinis,

all the sides that people like,

and the, you know, the baked potatoes

and the iceberg lettuce with the blue cheese dressing,

and don't forget about the pièce de résistance,

the steak! You see what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, I certainly do.

[Tony] I got a guy lined up,

he could get you the best steak you've ever had in your life,

top of the line,

but it wouldn't just be

for the hoi polloi, but for regular folk too,

you know, still have all the ambiance

and the waiters and the bow-ties

and the silver trays.

[Fred] Tony, I can understand

why that's very important to you,

and I want to say I...

I appreciate you sharing that with us.

[Tony] Well, you know, it wasn't just a dream, Fred.

It was... it was my last chanc.

It was my last chance to make something of my life,

and these guys wanted to steal it from me.

They wanted to-to beat me, to destroy me as a man.

Well, I didn't take Dick here to be a buffoon.

I took him for vengeance!

Well, how is Dick doing?

[Tony] Dick's fine, man!

He's had a silver spoon up his ass his entire life,

so much so where he probably shits dimes, don't you, Dick?

Dick just said yes.

I wonder if I could speak to Dick directly.

I want to find out from him what his condition is.

[Tony] His condition?

He's a fuckin' thief. He got it from his father.

[Fred] Okay, Tony. Can I speak to Dick?

- Well, listen... - [loud thumping]

- Was that on the radio? - I don't know. I don't know.

- No, it's coming through. - Where'd it come from?

It sounds like some... someone's knocking at the door?

[shouting] Who's knockin'?

Who's there?

Wait. Hang on, Fred.

Who's knockin'?

[officer] It's the Bomb Squad.

Tony, can you confirm

that there's explosives in the domicile?

You're goddamn right I do, pal!

I got nitroglycerine rigged up

to blow the whole place to smithereens!

[officer] Roger that.

[Tony] Are you gettin' all this, Fred?

[Fred] Yes, Tony.

It sounds to me like you're suggesting

that you have your apartment wired to explode?

[Tony] You ain't just whistlin' Dixie, pal,

and I know what I'm talking about.

I was a munitions expert in Korea,

and I trained cadets at West Point,

and that's a fuckin' fact.

[Fred] Okay, uh, Tony...

[Tony] Listen. I don't like the way these guys operate.

They got snipers across the way,

they got people banging on my door

just begging me to pull this trigger.

You know, they're lucky I got a steady hand.

Now listen, Fred.

I'm gonna need two things, and these are non-negotiable.

The first thing is I want an apology

from M.L. Hall himself, no flunkies, all right?

And then I'm gonna want full immunity,

'cause none of this was my fault.

Okay, I understand that these are your demands.

That will definitely help.

[Tony] That's right, demands.

I'm also gonna need a couple of lawyers.

You know how it is, fine print.

Are you writing this down?

I am.

[Tony] Look, there's two of 'e.

One's a muckety-muck and one's a good egg.

It's John Ruckelshaus,

Johnny Rucks, and, uh...

naw, shit... [blows raspberry]

Uh, Charles Wilson.

Charles Wilson.

John Ruckelshaus and Charles Wilson.

[Tony] Johnny Rucks. Yeah.

That's right. That's right.

[Fred] Okay, Tony. Can I...

can I speak to Dick Hall, please?

[Tony] Listen, work on those things first.

Look into Eisner-Osco, look into my claims,

so your listeners know that I'm telling the truth.

[Fred] We will look into all of that, Tony,

and, uh, let me just say,

I really appreciate you taking the time with us today.

Fred Heckman thanking me for my time...

that's somethin' else.

Over and out, baby.

[Tony] Hoo!

[Tony chuckles to himself]

This is Fred Heckman, WIBC News.

That was a live interview with Tony Kiritsis,

the hostage-taker.

We'll be right back

after these words from our sponsors.

♪ Mattress Daddy Mattress Daddy ♪

[staff applaud]

[Franco] A dark horse

which nobody had ever heard of

swept past the grandstand in triumph!

[Fred] You old son of a gun.

What do we know about Meridian and Tony?

Uh, standard mortgage foreclosure.

Let's drill a little bit deeper down on that,

because something doesn't pass the smell test.

Oh! There was that protest out in front of Meridian

like two weeks ago.

I guess there was...

out of 430 mortgages, they foreclosed on 410.

We should track that down before anybody else.

All right? Get down to Crestwood.

Get with Paul, get some real boots-on-the-ground reporting.

See what you can do, okay?

Let's get all hands on deck here.

We need to plant a flag, eh?

- Great interview, Fred. - Yeah.

- [Ben] Steakhouse! - [Fred chuckles]

[Fred] Chief!

- [Gallagher] Fred. - [Fred] Hey, Chief.

[Gallagher] Called the D.A.'s office.

Told them that Kelly needs to get his ass down here

to advise on immunity.

"Advise." Jesus Christ. What will Tony think of next?

Well, Tony would like his lawyers.

[Gallagher] Yeah, they're being notified as we speak.

Ginny, Tony said he went to West Point.

See if you can find out when he was there.

See if there's any former instructors or classmates.

Give us a general character sketch.

Copy, please?

Here, you have two minutes.

[Fred] Thank you.

Fred? Uh, we're on the line for thousands in fines

because of that one interview alone.

I knew I should've fuckin' insisted on that dump button!

[Fred] Jerry! Okay.

Whatever you find out about West Point,

take it to Ben over at Crestwood,

and then get back here,

'cause I need you to start tracking down leads

on this Eisner-Osco, okay? - Okay.

[Jerry] And I need you to apologize to the listeners,

and two, I need you to tell Mr. Fairbanks this was you,

because I had nothing to do with this.

[Fred] Okay, Jerry, I will tell him

that it was all my decision as news director.

[Jerry] Thank you.

[Officer] Everyone needs to evacuate.

Please, stay calm.

Make your way over there.

Everyone, stay behind the cordon here.

Get back. Okay, watch your step, please.

O'Brien?

[O'Brien] Hey.

[Ben] Hey. Hear Fred's interview?

Everyone's listening to IBC, even other reporters.

Plus, see that woman over there in the blue coat?

- Mm-hmm? - Yeah, that's Pearl.

Big Fred Heckman fan.

She lives in the buildings over there.

Says that we can use her phone and bathroom.

Yeah, just don't let the rest of these jackals know, right?

- [chuckling] - Uh, you go left, I go right?

- Sounds good. - Yes, sir.

Well, then I would like to speak

to a representative from Eisner-Osco

who can comment on the record, please.

Yes, thank you. Please do call me back.

Eisner-Osco's giving me the runaround.

I frankly do not give a shit, Fred.

Pam, tell him. - Mattress Daddy pulled out.

Fuckin' Mattress Daddy! Our biggest sponsor.

Why, Pam? Let me remind you of something.

When I first got to this station,

they were selling baby chicks by mail

and chewing tobacco.

It was a garbage can on the air.

Pulled it out of the gutter

to bring to number one in the market.

I wiped the filth off and turned it

into the number-one radio station in Indianapolis.

Brought in his L.A. contacts.

It was my L.A. contacts that landed us

McMahon, Martinis, & Madness.

You think anyone can do that?

Get Ed fuckin' McMahon

to take two yokels out on the town?

And meet Johnny Carson.

[Jerry] You think they're meeting Johnny Carson

over at WKRX?

I'm the brains behind the promos!

I lured DJ Ricksy and The Pig over from Cleveland.

You know who else is doing that? Fuckin' no one, that's who!

Anything else?

[scoffs]

[Jerry] If that fucking menace Kiritsis calls again,

for the love of God and all that is holy,

please don't put him on the air.

Yes, hi. This is Fred Heckman from WIBC News.

I was given Mr. Silver's name

as a point of contact for a potential property.

Yes, I will hold. Thank you.

Jerry, I don't know what to tell you.

I-I report the news.

You deal with the advertisers.

Fred, how many advertisers

do you think we're gonna have left?

[Jerry] You know who they fire first when the sponsors leave?

I'll give you a hint. It's not the talent.

It's me, the station manager.

Pam?

[Fred] Yes, thank you. Is this Mr. Silver?

[Jerry] I need to speak to an adult!

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

[camera shutter snapping]

[Ben] It's a chaotic scene outside here at Crestwood,

as hundreds of residents

are being evacuated from the building.

The City has no shelter in place

for the residents, most of them elderly,

but according to a Mrs. Taper, a neighbor of Mr. Kiritsis,

"There are no hard feelings."

Hey, I...

[clicking button]

[recording of Mrs. Taper] Well, Tony fixed my vacuum,

and he's always the first person

to get that maintenance man to fix my heater.

He's a nice man.

[clicking button]

For many residents out in the cold,

they'll have to rely on family and friends

to take them in,

For how long, No one can say.

This is Ben Hairston, WIBC.

[jingle playing] ♪ WIBC ♪

♪ Indianapolis ♪

[Ben] Okay.

Um...

okay, so, there's no record

of Tony having ever been at West Point,

either as a cadet or an instructor.

[leafing pages]

[overlapping chatter]

You wanna stick around for a while?

I promise I won't tell Fred.

Well, maybe just a couple minutes?

Okay.

[Man] It's a very brutal situation...

[Man 2] So far everyone in the community...

[Man 3] I mean, we are trying to find more information...

[Woman] ...Alice, Channel 8.

[overlapping chatter]

[phones ringing]

[Fred] When you say, "They have a reputation,"

what does that mean?

No, Mr. Ando, all I'm asking is,

what does it mean when you say

that Meridian Mortgage has a reputation?

A reputation for what?

[caller hangs up]

- Okay. - [knocking]

Yeah?

Lawyers are here.

Gallagher is so mad, he could spit.

D.A. Kelly didn't show. He sent subordinates.

[Fred] This would be a whole lot easier

if the D.A. wasn't trying a police corruption case.

Pfft, if I were Kelly, I wouldn't even run a stop sign.

Every cop in this city hates him.

[Fred] That sounds about right.

My uncle says the only reason

that Kelly's going after the cops

is 'cause they know all his dirty laundry.

- [Fred] Welcome to Indianapolis. - [Judy] Mm-hmm.

[Gallagher] You're as useless as tits on a bull.

I mean, this isn't just a case we're handling.

This is an active situation.

[all talking at once]

Gentlemen, gentlemen! Nice to see we're all assembled.

Fred, maybe you can explain the situation

to Lucy and Ethel here.

D.A. Kelly can't be bothered to show his face!

I spoke with Mr. Kiritsis.

He has two requests.

Demands.

Number one, he wants total immunity.

[Martz] There's no precedent for that.

[Fred] I'm aware there's no precedent for it.

It's just what he has asked for,

along with an apology from Meridian Mortgage,

specifically from Mr. M.L. Hall.

Where's your boss?

He's apprised of what's happening.

Ooh, is he? Or are you two covering for him

because you don't know where the fuck he is?

We know exactly where he is.

Okay, we are just waiting on Tony's lawyer.

- [Ruckelshaus] Gene! - [Gallagher] Ruck!

Glad you could make it so quickly.

Always glad to be of service.

I'm not sure why Mr. Kiritsis requested us.

I helped him

with some zoning issues a couple years ago, but, uh,

I'm just not sure

I'm the appropriate attorney to--

I'm with Mr. Wilson here.

Uh, my busy trial schedule is such--

Defending crooked cops?

Lieutenant Reed Moistner is a decorated police officer

who has been-- - Who has been

bribing private citizens for protection.

[Ruckelshaus] I look forward to swatting down all the charges

in this Mickey Mouse game you're playing.

We have a goddamn witness.

[Gallagher] Where's your District Attorney?

Because funny things seem to happen

every time he disappears to California.

What are you implying?

That your boss is allegedly embroiled

with some pretty unsavory characters,

drugs... murder.

Am I forgetting anything?

He was only at that party to investigate.

Of course he was. Allegedly.

I will say this for the District Attorney,

he certainly keeps busy.

- You know this is bullshit. - David--

[all talking at once]

[Gallagher] Step back.

Back up.

Hey! Hey! Gentlemen! Please.

Can we return to the matter at hand?

Mr. Kiritsis has requested two attorneys,

one for the apology,

and the other for the immunity,

so let's put one in charge of civil,

and one in charge of criminal.

Criminal.

Civil. Good? Good.

Now, I suggest somebody get on the phone

to Meridian Mortgage

and start working on that apology.

I need to be elsewhere.

Hey, you're criminal. He said it, not me.

So, this is pretty crazy, huh?

Yep.

Tony, uh...

he seems to have a lot of goodwill

from some of the officers, even though he's, um...

well, he's-he's had some troubles.

You know the Kiritsis family?

No, just what I've heard on the radio.

Well, he's a good guy.

I have a... cousin.

Similar situation.

Nicest guy, he just...

gets a little wiggly now and then, you know?

Has to howl at the moon. But we love him to bits.

That sounds like Tony's family.

Except his two brothers. He fuckin' hates 'em.

But his brother, Jimmie, and his sister--

He has a sister?

She must be worried sick about him.

Mm. Imagine so.

They had a falling-out over some money years ago.

That's a shame.

It is.

You know, they haven't spoken since it happened.

Since... what happened?

Well--

What'd you say your name was?

Uh, oh, I'm Ginny.

Who are you with, again?

No one.

So, uh...

what happened between them?

It's nice talking with you, Ginny.

Well, I'll, uh...

I'll keep you in my prayers, Officer.

[Ben] In an interview with WIBC's own Fred Heckman,

Kiritsis asserted his expertise in the area,

citing his time

as a munitions instructor at West Point.

WIBC contacted West Point,

who would not confirm that Kiritsis was an instructor.

[Tony] "Not confirm"?

What do you mean, "not confirm"?

I was a small-arms instructor at West Point

for five fuckin' years!

I served as a corporal in the Korean War.

...the Bomb Squad is taking Kiritsis at his word.

This is Ben Hairston, WIBC.

[click]

I think I got something.

"Not confirm"?

You weren't drafted like me.

Your daddy paid for your college deferment,

then you joined some fraternity and wore togas

and siss-boom-bah, you fucking sissy.

Not me! I've been working every day of my goddamn life.

I know what you're gonna say.

What, you served in the Navy?

As an officer, during peace time?

Not as a grunt in the Korean War.

What, where were you stationed, San Diego?

Worst thing to happen to you during your tour

was a goddamn sunburn!

"Not confirm."

[phone rings]

What is it?

[man] Is this Tony Kiritsis?

Speaking!

Yeah. You know what you should do to that rich prick?

Blow his head off.

Come on. Blow his fucking head off!

You're a lot sicker than I am, pal.

[bangs phone down]

Can you believe these people? He's telling me to shoot you.

What the fuck's the matter with people?

Goddammit.

[Fred] Will you please tell him

I called about Meridian Mortgage?

- [knocking on door] - Yeah?

[Judy] They need you in the conference room.

Bill Hall's on the line.

[Fred] Mr. Hall? We're all here, uh,

ready to help you with the apology

that Tony has demanded from Meridian Mortgage.

Well, I-I appreciate your position, but...

[chuckles] I, uh, I need you to appreciate mine.

[Gallagher] Your brother's got

a shotgun wired to the back of his skull, Bill.

How hard can it be to muster up an apology?

[Bill] Well, see, the, uh... the demand

is that Dad give...

[whispering] ...the apology, right?

[chuckles nervously]

[Ruckelshaus] That's right, Bill.

Is your father there?

Can we, uh... speak to him?

Well, gee, uh...

...Dad's, uh...

sort of indisposed right now.

[Gallagher] Well, gee, Bill,

maybe you could get him on the fucking phone.

He's not here.

In the office?

In the state.

Well, uh... where is he?

[Bill] I believe he's in Florida.

Well, can you... can you help us out here?

Bill?

Can we get in touch with him?

[Bill] Gosh, Fred, that's just it. Uh...

We can't find him.

[Gallagher] Can't find who, Bill?

We can't seem to locate M.L.

You can't seem to locate your own father,

other than knowing

that he's in the state of fuckin' Florida?

[Bill] Yeah, if pressed,

I'd say in the Fort Lauderdale area.

- "If pressed"?! If-- - Uh, look.

Can you help us find him, Bill?

We really need M.L. to sign off on this

to help your brother.

[Bill] I'm gonna see what I can do.

[call disconnects]

[banging handset down]

What's the matter with these people?

I mean, at this rate,

we're gonna be here until Easter,

and someone'll be dead!

And I-I don't mean Jesus!

Excuse me.

Hey, where are you at on the ground right now?

What happened at the meeting?

It was a total fiasco.

I'll fill you in later.

Uh, where are you at with these interviews?

Uh, well, Tony's got

a lot of friends in law enforcement,

believe it or not.

Paul was talking to a Sheriff's Deputy

who had breakfast with Tony just last week.

What about the residents?

Uh, mostly pensioners, can barely afford rent,

charged per phone call. - [Pearl] No, no.

[Ben] Uh, correction,

30 free calls per month,

and then they're charged beyond that.

Long distance is extra, of course.

Uh, hey, uh, Ginny was supposed to be here a half hour ago.

You seen her anywhere?

[Ginny] Uh, I'm here.

Oh, that's funny, because you're supposed to be here.

Sorry. I... might have something, a story.

Tell me.

Tony's sister.

One of the cops let slip

that there was a dispute over money between them

a while back.

Uh, she's at a nearby mobile-home park.

All right, follow the lead, but don't fuck around.

You got him cussing at you. Ginny, welcome to the club.

[Fred] Lot of tentacles to this story.

It's more than just a hostage situation.

There's something here.

You're sounding like the guy who hired me!

I have to admit, it's been a while.

[Ben] It's a hell of a thing.

Yeah, all right. Keep me posted.

I haven't heard him like that.

Yeah, Fred's been at this a long time.

I forget that he was a reporter-reporter.

Yeah, you never think you'd get a story like this

in Indianapolis. - Mm-mm.

Oh! Uh, you gotta get going.

Uh, there's an extra

tape recorder and mic in the van.

Okay, well, I'll see you.

Okay.

[door opens and closes]

[chuckles]

[upbeat music]

Hmm.

Tell him what you just told me.

Uh, when I was there, at Meridian,

when they gave Mr. Kiritsis his mortgage,

I didn't really understand why it went through,

because he didn't have any income,

and I thought that was strange.

But I-I don't blame Mr. Hall, because he's kind,

no matter what people say about him.

No matter what anyone says about M.L. Hall?

No. Dick.

Nobody likes M.L.

Huh! Okay. Well, I'm gonna

want to probably talk to you further about that.

Thank you, Helen. - Oh, you're welcome.

You better get back to the phones.

They're ringing off the hook.

People keep calling in!

They want us to re-air your interview with Tony.

What?

In its entirety.

[Jerry] No fucking way!

[Judy] I am just telling you what the listeners are saying.

Some people are mad they missed it,

and they want us to run it again.

Well, how many calls are we talking?

I don't have an exact number, Jerry, but at least a hundred.

- [phone ringing] - A hundred?

WIBC. Judy speaking.

Okay. I'll look into it.

I'll need to talk to Mr. Fairbanks.

Not Mattress Daddy?

Fuck you, Fred.

Call on line one.

I have a call, Jerry, on line one.

Thank you, Judy.

Go get this call.

Hello?

Fred? Ralph Bass here.

In our last conversation, you mentioned your kids,

and it occurred to me

that my wife just so happens to know

every good school in the Tri-State area,

and, believe me,

she'd be happy to talk to your wife,

give her the lay of the land.

Well, that is a very nice offer,

and I do appreciate your enthusiasm for me.

[Ralph] And for My Town Indy.

I mean, "My Town New York" has a ring to it!

[chuckles] It sure does,

but we're kind of in the middle of a breaking news story here.

We've got a hostage situation in Indianapolis.

A gunman has kidnapped his mortgage broker.

Never a dull moment, not even in Indiana.

No, no.

No, in fact, I was able to interview the gunman

live on the air.

You put him on the air?

I did. It was one of the hardest decisions

I've ever had to make,

but it turned out to be the interview of my life.

There any national outfits there?

No, but I bet there will be by day's end.

And do you have an exclusive?

I do.

In fact, he'll only talk to me.

See, Ralph, this is what I still want to do.

This is what I meant when I said I'm more

than just My Town Indy or My Town New York.

[sighing]

I'm a reporter, Ralph.

You want to do hard news.

I do.

This could be a story

about a madman taking his mortgage broker hostage,

or an indictment on the American Dream, or both.

Sounds like CBS.

How would you feel about

broadcasting this story nationally?

[Jerry] You're right. It is challenging.

You know, we want to do good journalism.

I mean, that's our number-one thing.

Of course. Yeah.

Hi, honey. How are you?

Hi. Uh, Jerry was just telling me about the FCC.

[Fred] Oh, yeah.

Um, I brought you

clean shirts and your Dopp kit

in case you don't make it home tonight.

It's $300 per fu--, uh...

There's still no word from Mr. Fairbanks.

I'm so glad that you came by.

I want to talk to you about something.

Um... drop these off.

Come take a walk with me.

How are you faring?

You know, uh, it's a lot going on.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

[she laughs]

Come here.

- Hi. - Hi.

Mm.

[chuckles] What's going on?

[he sighs]

Sorry. I got caught up in the moment.

You got caught up?

[sighing] I'm not myself.

Say more.

Uh...

You should probably... go home.

No.

Are you under a lot of pressure?

[chuckles] Uh...

Yes.

I bet this closet has seen some action.

[they chuckle]

Let me walk you out.

Okay.

[knocking]

[Tony] Motherfuck!

[music on the radio playing]

Trust someone? Most trusted man in radio,

And then you know what happens?

They go and say you're a fucking liar!

Motherfuckers.

[music playing on radio]

Uh, ma'am, are you Effie Kiritsis?

I'm Ginny Hughes with WIBC.

I wanted to ask you a few questions.

[cranks up radio volume]

Okay, not a problem.

I'll just go next door and I'll talk to your neighbors.

[radio blares]

Wait.

[radio stops playing]

Don't go bothering my neighbors.

[Tony] Call me a fuckin' liar?

They wouldn't know a fuckin' grunt--

[radio playing music faintly]

No wonder I'm so fucked up.

They say I'm a fuckin' liar.

What do I would lie about?

You-- you think Indianapolis is cold in the winter?

Should try being on a fucking mountain in Korea.

Um...

is it okay if I take notes?

So, I guess you heard about

what Tony did to get his money from me?

Mm-hmm.

[Effie] As far as I'm concerned, it was a family matter.

Okay.

I never called the police.

I never wanted to press charges.

Do you mind if I record this?

[Gallagher] Oh, you've gotta give us a win.

You've gotta give us, Hey! Fred?

Remind these weasels

that we're hip-deep in a hostage crisis

and their boss needs to respond to the immunity--

There's a process!

Don't give me that horseshit!

You still can't find him, can you?

[walkie-talkie] We're ready for you, Chief.

Roger that.

Gotta go.

Hey. But let me know when Malibu Barbie gets back to town.

He's at a conference!

[Gallagher] Oh, bullshit.

- Okay. - [door closing]

Civil, where are we with this apology?

Meridian is working on a draft.

And?

It needs to be okayed by M.L.

And M.L. still cannot be contacted.

[Fred] What am I supposed to tell Tony about this, huh?

Mr, uh, Fairbanks wants to talk to you

in, uh, in my office.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

[door closing]

[Jerry] It-it's line five.

[Fred] Hello, Mr. Fairbanks?

Fred, I want to congratulate you

on a well-conducted interview with a madman.

That interview has gotten tongues wagging

all over our great city.

People cannot get enough of it.

I want WIBC to be the name on everybody's lips.

You and this lunatic are the best thing on radio.

Fred! It's Tony.

I'll take it in my office.

Thank you, Mr. Fairbanks.

Uh... I-I've gotta go.

- [hanging up] - [Jerry] Uh...

Yeah, okay.

- [Fred] What line? - [Judy] Uh, two.

[Fred] Tape it.

[Jerry] Tape it? Why are we taping this?

No! We need to go on the air!

Jerry, I'm not prepared to go on the air live with it.

- You heard Mr. Fairbanks! - He's gonna ask questions

that I am not prepared to answer!

[Jerry] Do you even listen to me?

[Fred] We don't have the answer to them

Tony?

Uh, Tony? Did we lose him?

Tony, are you there?

Tony!

Are-are-are you there?

Yes, Mr. Heckman. I'm here.

Ah, welcome back to the program.

[to Gallagher] Any news at all? Fuck.

How are we doing?

[Tony] I'm a little concerned about your station's reporting.

- [Fred] Oh? - [Tony] I heard you broadcast

that you couldn't find any record

that I had been at West Point.

Well, who would like to bet me $100,000

that I was there?

[he chuckles]

Well, tell them to get their 100,000 bucks out,

because I was there as an advisor to the instructor

on heavy infantry weapons.

That's anti-personnel weapons, anti-tank weapons,

mortars, recoilless rifles.

- Well, now, Tony... - I was there, pal!

we had to fact-check that, but I'll concede

that just 'cause we didn't find a record of it

doesn't mean you weren't there.

Yeah, I can just hear the people.

They're gonna call me a phony.

They're gonna say I wasn't there.

Well, I'll take you there,

and I'll show you my name carved into a fucking rock.

[Fred] Tony, no one's infallible.

I will personally look into this.

You know, the average guy

that would've gone through something like this

would've had a heart attack or-or a stroke by now?

They're lucky they're dealing with me,

'cause some Nervous Norman would've shot him already.

Did you, uh, did you look into my Eisner-Osco deal?

Well, about that, Tony,

I haven't really received any corroboration on that,

and Eisner-Osco has no comment at this time.

Um, I'm wondering,

uh, how is Dick? Can I talk to him?

No, forget about Dick.

This has nothing to do with Dick.

Uh, what about M.L.?

Where's my apology?

Well, um...

we have spoken to them,

and they are aware of your request,

but I tell you what, Tony,

we-we-we have to know that Dick is okay.

I mean, his wife, Ibby, and his children,

are completely upset about thi.

[Tony] Yeah, poor Ibby and the kids, yeah.

I feel for 'em. - Yeah. Yeah.

Well, don't you think it might be a nice gesture,

maybe, if you let him speak to his wife?

Why should I be the one doing the nice gestures, huh, Fred?

You know the truth, Dick.

Why don't you tell the listening audience

what you and your family did

to an ordinary guy like me?

Go ahead. You know, Fred, he's right here.

We tried to work with you, Tony.

Uh, I'm sorry, Tony.

I couldn't quite hear what Dick said.

- That's a lie. - Can I speak to him?

That's a fuckin' lie!

You motherfuck!

Are you listening to this motherfucker?

You and your father didn't try to work it out with me!

- Okay, you sound really upset, - Motherfucker!

...Tony, and I understand that.

Now, can I just, can I speak to Dick?

[Tony] You don't know the Halls like I do, Fred.

They are vipers!

I've met more selfish, deceitful people in real estate

than in any other business I've been in,

including the used-car business!

Listen, Tony, don't you think that,

with the increased visibility of this particular situation,

that this might reflect better on your situation?

Well, I've never told a lie in my life,

and I haven't told a lie since the situation started.

I don't need to, 'cause I've got nothing to hide.

When we get through with this, you're gonna think I'm a witch,

and I think I've already proven that,

I knew what was going on,

and there was nothing I could do about it!

There was nothing I could do to stop it,

and you know, Fred, I haven't heard you

say that once on the air,

as much as I've heard you call me a goddamn kidnapper!

Well, now, Tony, we are looking into all of your claims,

and we are taking them very, very, very seriously.

Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fred, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Fuck.

[Tony chuckles] Okay.

[Fred] Okay.

Yeah. Did M.L. issue the apology?

Well, we're... we're working on that, Tony.

Well, did you

speak to him on the phone or in person?

Well... [sighs]

Tony, we're working on it.

Well, what'd he say?

Well, Tony...

we're working on it.

He hasn't spoken to you, has he?

You don't even know where he is, do ya?

I know where he is.

He's in Florida.

His secretary told me.

He's stuffin' his face with crab.

They go down there every winter,

deep-sea fishing, and all that crap.

You know, they're so rich,

they don't even hold their own fishing poles.

The boat does the fishin' for you.

You hear that, Dick?

Your own father

can't be bothered to come to the phone...

...for his own son.

Tony, can I speak to Dick?

[Tony] I'm gonna walk out of here a free man.

Can I speak to Dick, please, Tony?

They aren't going to book me,

they aren't gonna mug me,

they aren't gonna print me,

they aren't gonna send me to a fucking psychiatrist,

'cause I don't need one,

I don't care who knows it or what they say.

I'm a pretty smart man.

Don't get me wrong,

I feel for Ibby and the kids, but...

This is my last chance.

That land is all I have left, Fred.

I need you to get me my apology.

Don't underestimate my resolve.

You know, I...

I chose you for a reason.

You chose me?

You were a part of my plan all along.

You... you chose me?

'Course I did.

You were there on the darkest days of my life,

[sniffles] and you didn't even know it.

I knew that, for people to listen to me,

to really understand my situation...

...I needed you.

They played God and lost.

You don't have to be smart to be God.

You just have to be cheap.

That's all I gotta say, Fred.

[Tony hangs up]

Goddamn it, Fred! That would've been radio gold!

We could've gone live!

Instead, we get this.

[Franco] Uh, Bobby Knight

certainly took that Michigan loss hard.

As we know,

the general takes these defeats, uh, personally.

How many times

do I have to hear about Bobby fucking Knight?

What does he have for breakfast?

Does he give Quinn Buckner a footbath after practice?

Blah! Blah! We get it!

We all saw the fucking game!

[Franco] The Hoosiers will be

back at Assembly Hall tomorrow night

to face off with Purdue.

Some Hoosier hysteria

the likes of which only Carole Lombard has seen!

[jazz playing on radio]

This is Ed McMahon

inviting you to join me Thursday, September 13th,

for a night on the town in Hollywood.

Gary Todd is coming to visit me in California,

and he'll bring two lucky WIBC listeners along.

If you are the WIBC Tonight Show Contest winner,

you'll jet to California with Gary,

be my guest at The Tonight Show,

meet Johnny,

and join me for dinner after the show.

Your father's not coming through.

It'll be a night of McMahon, Martinis, and Madness,

so send your name, address, and telephone number

to Ed McMahon...

I wonder why he's not coming through.

[McMahon] ...Indianapolis, and right now, here's Gary.

[Tony] I don't know what's gonna become of you.

[radio jingle plays indistinctly]

[Tony] Poor Ibby.

Poor, poor Ibby.

[jazz music playing on the radio]

[jazz music playing, people chattering]

Dick Hall?

You must be Ibby Metsker.

[Dick] Hi.

Hi.

Uh...

Thank you.

I just hate blind dates, don't you?

[Dick] Well, I did until today.

Greg, he never mentioned you were such a knockout.

[lighter clicks]

So...

you're in construction?

My brother Jack does construction.

My brother Bill does the mortgage,

and I do the real estate with my dad.

Real estate?

Huh.

[Dick] So... you lived in Japan?

Tokyo, until I went to college at I.U.

Kappa Kappa Gamma.

Did you eat that raw fish?

Yes, I did.

And what did your dad do in Japan?

Oh, he works for the State Department.

Have you ever been abroad?

Does San Diego count?

[he chuckles]

Uh... well, let's order drinks.

I'll flag a waitress and then put our order in.

Heard the steaks are really good.

[Ibby] Look.

Um... you seem like a very nice guy.

Have you ever been in a, in a Cessna?

Well, that's a line if I've ever heard one.

[chuckles] I'm serious.

I'm about to get my private pilot license,

and I would love to take you up in one,

and I promise, you'll never forget it.

I don't know.

I'm not much for jerky movements.

Close your eyes.

What?

Close your eyes.

Seriously, I'll take you through it.

It'll... you'll love it.

Just... close them.

Okay.

All right, you ready?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, so you're, um...

...you're looking beautiful in the passenger seat...

Thank you.

...and I'm looking very handsome in the pilot seat.

All you can see is the back of my head.

Full head of hair.

Ha! And, uh, I start the engine...

- [drumming table] - ...and it's loud.

Um, we're about to take off, and all of a sudden,

the ground goes away, and all there is...

...is sky.

You can almost... feel the physics of the wind.

Physics of the wind?

- See... - I like that.

See, flying...

is like riding the wind like people ride ocean waves.

You can feel the Earth and the sky.

It is so graceful, moving through the air,

and your body knows that it's defying physics,

but for a moment in time,

you are doing something beyond language.

Something close to God himself.

It's...

...magical.

When do you get your license?

I don't know.

It's a question of when the instructor

thinks I'm ready for my first solo flight one day.

On that day,

he'll simply get out of the plane and say,

"Okay, she's all yours."

And then I'll... take my first solo flight.

[clears throat]

So, after the flight,

you know, once it's successful,

uh, he will cut my shirttails,

which indicates

that I no longer need to hold on to the instructor

for guidance anymore,

so I have been wearing my favorite shirt

each flight now for the past week,

just in case.

I hope I'm not too emotional when it happens...

which should be any day now,

so I can... take you up for real.

You're not at all what Jackie said about you.

Uh-huh?

I take that's a good thing.

Very good.

I think I'd like that drink now.

Um, ma'am?

[handcuffs rattling]

[sighing]

[distant typing]

[door closing]

[dialing]

[call ringing]

[man] Hello?

Hey, Ed? It's Gene.

You been listening to the radio?

[Ed] Yeah.

Yeah.

Things are starting to unravel.

Uh, Heckman's a civilian.

We can't have a civilian handling things.

That guy you mentioned,

the expert,

I think we're gonna need him.

Judy?

Hi. I've marked, uh...

10 upscale seafood restaurants in the Fort Lauderdale area.

Can you see if you can find a reservation

for Mr. Hall in one of them, please?

Not a problem.

Oh, and, uh, Ralph Bass is on line one.

I'll take it in my office.

[Judy] Hold for Mr. Heckman.

Ralph? Fred Heckman. Nice to hear from you.

Uh, listen.

I don't know if you have been following WIBC,

but this story is blooming,

uh, and I've also been able

to track down a few leads on this mortgage.

Yeah, it's big, all right.

[chuckling]

We've got a reporter, a whole team, in fact,

from CBS heading there now.

What do you mean, you're sending a reporter?

I thought I was the reporter.

I'm sorry, Fred,

and you know I'm your biggest fan,

but this is how things go sometimes.

I don't understand.

Look, I think this story got away from you.

Turn on the news, Fred. You'll see what I mean.

Respectfully, Ralph,

I don't have to turn on the news.

I write the news.

I'm the lead reporter on this story.

Fred... you are the story.

Fred Heckman, News Director for WIBC,

is the point of contact for Mr. Anthony Kiritsis.

Sources close to WIBC tell us

that in a second, unaired conversation,

Kiritsis did disclose

that he deliberately chose Mr. Heckman

to be his spokesman,

and, in fact,

he was part of Kiritsis's plan all along.

Sources say Mr. Heckman--

[turning off TV]

If any outside press calls here

looking for information

about my conversations with Tony Kiritsis,

the answer is "no comment."

Is that understood?

- Fred? - What, Judy? What?

We found M.L. Hall at Neptune's Palace,

Fort Lauderdale. He's on line three.

He's been notified of the situation.

[Fred] Goddammit.

Mr. Hall? Hi, this is Fred Heckman.

[M.L.] Hello, Mr. Heckman.

Listen, uh, we understand

that there is a draft of an apology from Meridian

for your consideration, sir?

Hello?

[M.L.] I've done nothing wrong.

I understand this is a very difficult time

for you, sir, uh, but...

I just want to tell you,

your son is in what appears to be a very dire situation,

sir, and if there's anything that you can--

[M.L.] I'm not apologizing.

[he hangs up]

[dial tone buzzing]

- [gasps] - [banging and shattering]

♪ I am the very model of a modern Major-General ♪

♪ I've information vegetable Animal, and mineral ♪

♪ I know the Kings of England ♪

♪ And I quote the fights historical ♪

♪ From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical ♪

♪ I'm very well acquainted, too with matters mathematical ♪

♪ I understand equations ♪

♪ Both the simple and quadratical ♪

♪ About binomial theorem ♪

♪ I'm teeming with a lot of news ♪

[radio tuning and crackling]

[upbeat jazz music]

[upbeat jazz music]