Original subtitles

Don't you guys wanna know

What that is?

Is it a transporter

From the future

That can beam you

To another table,

'Cause if it is,

What button do I push?

That's so hurtful.

You know,

You don't always have to be

Mean to everyone.

See, Tori's interested

In my device.

I'm really not.

Aw, c'mon little Red,

Tell us about your doo-Hickey.

Okay, it's called:

The snowbee.

Watch.

It makes pretend snow.

I see that.

It's all over my tostada.

And my pizza.

Well, do not eat it.

Why?

'Cause it says

The fake snow is toxic

And can cause

Abdominal bleeding.

So what made you

Buy a machine

That poisons people's lunches?

This catalog.

Sky store?

Yeah.

I went to visit my uncle

And uncle this weekend

In San Francisco,

And they had these on the plane.

It's like filled with all kinds

Of cool stuff you can buy.

Oh, like this:

A tree face.

You put it on your tree

To give it a face.

What if you don't have

A tree?

It also works on bushes.

Unbelievable.

You guys have no idea

How upset I am about...

It snowed?

In los angeles?

I told you

Global warming was bogus.

Stop watching fox news.

No, it's fair and balanced.

Dude...

It's not real snow.

But you can eat it.

I don't wanna eat anything.

What are you all upset about?

This time?

The seniors,

The ones who run the slap...

Dotcom?

No, dot gov.

Yes, dotcom.

They wanna cancel my blog.

Why?

Oh wait, I don't care.

Why?

'Cause it's boring.

It is not bor...

Do you guys think

That my blog on the slap

Is boring?

Hey look, it's that guy

Over there.

It is that guy.

Wait up, guy.

There's no guy.

I'm sorry

They wanna cancel your blog.

I just don't understand why.

Well, what kind of things

Do you report on?

You know, school news.

Like last week, I did a report

About the library being painted.

Borrrr-Riiiing.

What else?

I did a piece

About principal eikner's

New office makeover.

Oh, I did a three-Part series

On carpooling.

Which was three parts

Too many.

Look, if you wanna

Save your blog,

Why don't you just make it

About the students here?

You know, like all the stuff

That goes on in their lives.

You think?

Sure.

Okay, I could try that.

Good.

Oh, and...

Don't eat the snow unless you

Wanna bleed internally.

Okay.

She's so cute.

Girl like that wants a man,

Not a boy.

I'll get there.

I thought you were taking me

To inside out burger.

We'll eat later.

I wanna show you the footage

I shot for my blog.

And why would I care

About that?

'Cause if this

Interview's any good,

It might convince the seniors

To let me keep doing my blog

On the Slap.

Man, why don't you

Just rub my back?

Just watch.

This is quality stuff.

Hello.

Hi.

Now, your name is...

Sinjin van Cleef.

Now Sinjin, I understand

That you collect something.

Yes.

What do you collect?

I collect these.

And those are...

Teeth, from the relatives

Of past presidents.

That's creepy, man.

Shush.

So tell us about

Some of your teeth.

This tooth came

From the mouth of a cousin

Of Ronald Reagan.

This tooth is a molar

That came from the mouth

Of Jimmy Carter's brother Billy.

Wow, it's so yellow.

I know.

What?

Look, you see Tori

In the background?

You're supposed to be

Focusing on my interview

With Sinjin.

Shut up, ding bat.

Rewind the video,

Kill the volume,

Zoom in on Tori

And play it again.

Yeah, now watch her, watch her.

Ha, she's squeezin' on a pimple.

Ha, ha, ha, a zit.

So?

Dude.

That's the kind of funk

America wants to see.

People caught on video.

Put that on your stupid blog

If you want it to be popular.

Tori squeezing a pimple?

That's just mean.

It's news, man.

Come on Rob,

You wanna be a loser

The rest of your life?

I'm not a loser now.

Yeah. What was I thinking?

Okay, now watch,

And you'll see Tori

Reach for her pimple.

Wait for it, and there it is:

The squeezing.

So gross.

Beck, wait, wait, wait...

Wait up!

Oh, okay, all right,

Ya caught me.

What?

I wanna show you what I got.

Sure.

Okay, now, walk towards me.

Closer, closer.

Step away.

You are too close

To this person.

The police are on their way.

I didn't do anything.

Would ya turn that off?

Move back.

It's the world's

Best alarm necklace.

Oh, and look,

The world's brightest key chain.

Yea, okay!

All right, that's bright.

You can turn that off now.

Too bright?

No, I loved that.

You think

Maybe you're buying, you know,

Too many things from sky store?

No.

Oh, hey...

Can I borrow some money

For lunch?

Yeah, how much?

49.95 plus shipping?

No, I don't think

It's going to rain.

Hey, Robbie!

Oh, hi!

TheSlap.com.

That thing you did on Tori

Was hilarious.

You liked my pimple piece?

Awesome.

Rocked.

Thanks.

Oh, hey, funny stuff

On the slap.

You liked it?

Loved.

Hey, Shapiro!

Over here.

Please don't embarrass me.

You're the embarrassment

In our relationship.

Hi, you guys.

Listen, I put a new piece up

On the slap last night...

Robbie.

We're not kicking you

Off the Slap.

You're not?

Dude, that piece you posted

About Tori's pimple...

My pimple post?

Tons of views so far.

Tons?

It's trending.

For real?

Yeah.

You keep posting stuff

Like that,

You can be on the slap

As much as you want.

And if you need any help,

We'll let you boss

Around the ninth graders.

The slap apprentices?

Whatever ya need.

Great work, Rob.

Keep it hot.

I'm a hit.

Robbie.

You're about to get hit.

Hey, ya Tori.

How are things?

I see you're still

Rockin' that chin zit.

You hit me, I'll sue.

How could you post that video

Of me squeezing my pimple?

You told me to make my blog

About the students,

The stuff that goes on

In their lives.

Yeah, not the stuff

That grows on my face.

But it's really popular.

I told you to do stories

About what's going on

In students' lives,

Not to embarrass

And degrade people.

I mean, seriously,

Is being popular

That important to you?

Welcome to...

Starring Robbie Shapiro.

Robarazzi, your home

For up-to-the-minute

Tasty gossip about the students

At hollywood arts...

Starring Robbie Shapiro.

Oh, my God!

Coming up on Robarazzi,

Tori Vega's pimple:

Shrinking or growing?

Don't touch it.

Also, does Andre Harris

Have a ketchup problem?

Does Sinjin van Cleef

Steal famous teeth?

Probably.

Is it splitsville

For Beck and Jade?

All this, and tons more on...

Starring Robbie Shapiro.

He's a dead man.

Beck and I aren't

Splitting up.

Well...

Dude...

Kidding.

I use an appropriate amount

Of ketchup.

Let's go fix this right now.

Cat, are you coming?

Oh my God!

Underwear that floats.

Okay, what do we got,

What do we got?

I got Cat

Receiving another order

From that sky store

Catalog thing.

Whoa, isn't that like

Her fifth delivery this week?

Yeah, chick's outta control.

No doubt.

No, there were supposed

To be two packages.

I only got one.

It was supposed

To get here on...

Hey, why are you shooting this?

Who are you with?

Robarazzi.

Girl's got a problem.

No doubt.

And, I'm gonna go out

On a limb here and say

That's probably not

Her natural hair color.

Funny stuff, Rob.

Okay, what else we got?

I don't use any more ketchup

Than the next guy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on you guys,

We're in the middle

Of taping my show.

Beck and I

Are not "splitsville."

Well...

Is there something

You wanna talk about?

Kidding.

Are you guys getting this

'Cause this is really

Great stuff.

Robbie.

You're not gonna have

Any friends left

If you keep exploiting us

For your dumb blog.

Okay, we have Tori

Freaking out.

Is he serious?

Really?

This is ridiculous.

Stop!

This is your last chance.

Are you gonna stop

This Robarazzi thing or not?

Coming up on Robarazzi,

Tori, Andre, Beck, Jade,

All caught

On a psychotic rampage.

Is anyone safe?

I am so mad at Robbie.

I feel like everyone's staring

At my pimple.

Everyone is.

How do you think I feel?

Five people today have asked me

About my ketchup addiction.

One kid called me

"Mister ketchup."

It's all Tori's fault.

Really?

They were about to

Kick Robbie off the slap.

You were the one who told him

To start reporting

On our personal lives.

Then you gave him ideas

By letting him

Shoot video of you

Playing with your pimple.

Gimme the salt.

Hey Andre, we thought

You might need this.

Save some for dinner.

I do not have

A ketchup problem.

Andre, Andre, right here.

Get out of here.

Who were they?

Robarazzis.

Robbie's little

Ninth-Grade photographers.

Aw, man!

Now, Robbie's got pics of me

With this

Industrial-size ketchup.

We gotta do something.

Clearly.

I think we just

Have to show Robbie

That we're not gonna be

His friends until he stops

Embarrassing everybody.

That's from sky store?

What is it?

It's the world's most

Powerful portable juicer,

For juicing on the go.

You're so screwed up.

No, it's really cool.

Look it...

See?

You juiced my pizza.

Why chew what you can drink?

What's up, m'peeps?

How's everyone doin'

This fine day?

Do you really need

That much ketchup?

Wait, Jade, what are you doing?

Jade.

What's wrong with you guys?

Stop embarrassing us

On your dumb Robarazzi blog.

Seriously, Rob,

It's not funny anymore, okay.

You guys

Embarrass yourselves.

I just get it on tape

And show the world.

Well, we don't wanna

Be your friends till you stop.

Fine.

Lots of other people

Wanna be my friends,

Smart and attractive people.

See ya on the web.

Do you want me

To juice your bagel?

I really don't.

Cat...

Oh, hey Lane.

You know, you're supposed

To be in your improv class

Right now?

Oh, sorry,

I just got this new thing

From sky store, and...

Yeah, you know,

Some teachers and students here

Think you're buying

Too many things from sky store.

I hear you've been

Borrowing money from people?

Not anymore.

I started using

My parents' credit card.

Okay, but still...

Y'know what this is?

No, and I really

Don't have time.

I've got...

It's the ball freshener.

Cat, I think we need to talk

About this, cause...

See this filthy

Icky tennis ball?

Yeah.

Look it.

Fresh as a daisy.

Do you even play tennis?

No, but I'm gonna learn

With the world's

Thinnest tennis racquet.

Cat, does a person

Really need to have

A tennis racquet that...

Wow, it's so light.

Who are you,

And why is your number blocked?

Jade?

Wait.

Jade, I didn't...

Why are you screaming at me?

How is it my fault that Robbie...

Jade, okay, okay, yes.

I'll watch it, right now.

Welcome to Robarazzi,

Starring Robbie Shapiro.

Wait, wait, wait!

You got what?

I got Beck and Jade

In the front seat of Beck's car,

And you need to see this.

Come on, let's just go.

It'll be fun.

No!

Why not?

'Cause I didn't shower

This morning,

And I had tuna fish for lunch,

And... there's a dude

In the back seat.

What the...hey man.

Get out.

What are you doing?

This is my car.

Are you out of your mind?

What's wrong with you?

I'm gonna kill you.

Can you believe this?

Hey, Tor.

Hi, mom.

Take off your shirt.

Why?

When was the last time

You shaved under your arms?

I dunno, last night,

This morning?

Are you stubbly yet?

Maybe a little.

Oh, good.

Shirt off, come on.

Okay.

You wanna tell me

What this is about?

I found this new

Depilatory cream from sweden,

And it totally made me

Think of you.

Why me?

Depila-Tori?

Oh, my God.

Okay, arms up, all the way.

All right.

Now, we just smear this stuff

Under both your arms,

And in 15 minutes

Your pits will be smooth

As a baby's butt.

I can't wait.

Why does it seem like

You're in a weird mood?

'Cause...

You know my friend Robbie?

Glasses, puppet, afro?

Yeah.

He started doing

This online blog thing...

Hey, who's out?

Hey, get out of here.

Arms up.

Go, get away.

What are you doing?

Go, get off my patio.

Can you believe...

Keep your arms up.

They're up.

Okay, I need to put an end

To this now.

End to what?

Why do those kids

Want pictures of you?

What up

With Tori Vega's armpits?

Where are they?

Patience.

But they finished gym

10 minutes ago.

It takes time

To get from the locker room

All the way here.

Hey, did that pit cream work?

Never speak of it.

Turn it on, turn it on.

We got 'em.

He's right behind us.

It's not funny.

You guys better

Give me back my clothes,

Or I swear I'm gonna tell...

Ah, turn off the camera.

Why?

You look so cute.

Dance for us, Robbie.

Gimme back my clothes.

Should we?

No!

Yeah, I think we need

To put this video online.

What?

No.

Sorry.

The people wanna see

What the people wanna see.

You cannot put

This video online.

Okay.

No problem.

We'll kill the video.

As long as

You kill Robarazzi.

Wh...? No.

Yes.

But my blog is a hit.

All right,

Then I'm just gonna

Zoom in right here.

No, no, don't.

Are you gonna stop?

Well, if I don't

Do Robarazzi,

What am I gonna do

For my blog on the slap?

Low fat recipes.

Okay, what do we got,

What do we got?

I got a lasagna

With only 90 calories

And 4 grams of fat.

Oh, lasagna.

What else?

I got baked onion rings,

Two points.

Must have a lot of fiber.

Go.

I found a non-Fat

Blueberry muffin recipe.

B-B muffins,

Now that is outrageous.

Wait'll you taste 'em.

You taste 'em.

Come on, lemme have it.

But maybe I can

Talk my parents into giving me

My credit card back.

Cat...

It's time to say goodbye

To sky store.

Don't you think

That's the best thing to do?

Look, I know it hurts now,

But you'll feel better soon.

I know.

Wanna come hang for a while?

Nah, thanks.

I just wanna sit here.

Okay.

Bye.

See ya, sport.

Hey, Sinjin!

Yes?

Do you have a girlfriend?

No.

You have a credit card?

Yeah.

Why don't you

Call me sometime?

Really?

Okay, I'll go buy a phone.

Oh my God, a litter box

That plays classical music.

Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com