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The buzzfinger homepage.

Poor Jay Leno.

No, under that.

That's you and Alyssa Vaughn,

Together.

No way!

That's Beck

And Alyssa Vaughn, together.

why are you guys

So impressed?

'cause Alyssa Vaughn

Is famous.

and hot.

her father's a billionaire.

and hot.

Ah, I didn't mean her father is.

I drank fish pee.

explain this.

she's in my yoga class.

Some paparazzi showed up

And took that pic,

But we're just friends.

And how did Jade react

When she found out

You were friends

With Alyssa Vaughn?

Jade was cool with it.

She threw a rock at me.

yeah, well I'd be careful,

'cause I don't think

Jade's the type

To be okay with...

attention!

Attention everyone!

Stop while I talk.

As you all know, I'm Trina vega.

Now, if you look at the flyers

That just landed on you,

You'll see that starting

This Friday night,

I will be performing

My own one-woman show

Called Trina!,

With an exclamation point.

hey! Shut up!

it's a play

That I wrote myself

That will not only

Touch your heart,

But blow your mind.

Now, if you look at

These flyers, you'll see that...

could you pass those out?

Hey, we're not done

Talking about this.

I am.

well, I'm not.

listen, Alyssa Vaughn

Is just a friend.

yeah, a friend

Who's already sent you

Six text messages today.

seven.

you don't know that's her.

is it?

what's your favorite

Tropical fruit?

the mango.

And I don't like

Your new little relationship

With Alyssa Vaughn.

it's a text message.

and what does it say?

Maybe, "hi, Beck.

"my daddy just got richer

"and I got prettier.

Let's make out."

okay, let me see

If I understand you.

let's see if you do.

because you and I date,

I can't be friends

With other girls.

you can be friends

With ugly girls,

But not girls who are

Gorgeous socialites,

Who text message you

A hundred times a day.

you know, you...

Tori, Tori, can you come here?

what?

if you were my girlfriend...

oh, great way to start

The question.

Would you be

All freaked out

That I'm just friends

With Alyssa Vaughn?

who cares what she thinks?

honestly, I wouldn't love it.

I care what she thinks.

how can you say that,

You don't even...

you know,

I really don't wanna be

In the middle of this.

no, you stay right here.

no.

you don't think a girlfriend

Should just trust her boyfriend?

no, I do.

get out of here, Tori.

I'd love to.

stay.

all right, you know what?

tell me what.

no, no, don't tell him what.

we're done.

Jade.

so, you're breaking up

With me?

no, no, no, no, no.

She's not.

yeah, I am.

oh, she is.

you're being ridiculous.

what do you care?

I'm not your girlfriend anymore.

come see my one-woman show,

Friday night.

It starts at 8:00 sharp!

whatcha know, fro?

ha, he called you fro,

'cause your hair is all silly.

yeah.

hey, you gotta check out

This new app I got for my phone.

It lets you do crazy effects

When you're shooting video.

cool.

Um, so, you know

How I used to write

For the school newspaper?

I thought

They shut the paper down.

they did, but, uh...

Some of the seniors

Started one online, you know,

Kinda underground

For school news and stuff.

I know, the slap.

the slap dot com.

the dot com was implied.

anyway, so for the slap,

I'm the person in charge.

I made your head fat.

Say cheese, fathead.

cheese.

Anyway, for the slap,

I'm the person

In charge of writing reviews

For all the plays

Here at school.

yeah?

well, I'm so busy.

you're not busy.

And...

And you're such a good writer,

I was thinking, maybe...

I'm not writing a review

For Trina's show.

but what if her play

Is awful?

what if?

Man, you know

Her show's gonna bite.

I know.

And if I write a bad review,

Trina is going to kill me.

oh, so it's okay

If she kills me?

she'll have a harder time

Killing you.

You're all firm and developed,

And I'm still working

On the last chapter of puberty.

and he is a slow reader.

I thought Trina's play

Opens Friday.

it does, but I'm seeing

Her last dress rehearsal,

And I don't wanna be

The only one in the audience.

so take Rex.

I'm staying home

And taking a hot bath.

look man, don't panic yet.

Maybe Trina's play

Won't be so bad.

* chicaaaaagooooooo... *

* chicaaaaagooooooo... *

* it's a city that's exciting, *

* it's a city that's inviting, *

* it's a city for a woman *

* just like me *

* there's a lake *

* they call lake michigan *

* I think I'm really *

* fitting in, *

* this city is *

* my perfect cup of tea *

* chicaaaaagooooo... *

* chicaaaaagooooo... *

* chicaaaaagooooo... *

* chicaaaaagooooo... *

the doctor says

I ain't never gonna walk again,

Not even on cructhez.

But I'm gonna

Tell you something, "I scared.

I'm a woman, in chicago,

Who's scared."

No.

No.

Stop.

Hey, Jade.

you look a little like a lady

Who could use

Some lunch buddies.

please.

well, I just thought

That you were mad, because of...

I broke up with Beck.

Okay?

I dumped him.

you are amazing.

You know that?

is that Alyssa Vaughn?

yeah, so?

nothing, she's gross.

French fry?

gross?

Look at her.

Oh, that girl is smoking hot.

I'm serious.

I should shut up.

look, he didn't mean

To say that.

I don't care.

If Beck wants to date that,

I hope he has tons of fun

With it.

what?

you're hurting your burrito.

Hello, Robbie.

Hi.

have you been avoiding me?

avoid?

Um, no, I'm just been here

Having some cream

Of mushroom soup.

what do you think

Of my show last night?

your show,

I thought it was uh...

Very...

you said it stunk.

what did that say?

nothing.

Um, he doesn't know

What he's saying.

He's on special medication.

I am not on medication.

are you gonna write

A good review of my show or not?

Trina, see...

I'm a journalist,

And it's my job

To write the truth.

And to be candid,

I didn't think

That your performance was all...

I'm gonna say this once,

So listen.

okay.

I've worked my butt off

On that performance,

And you're gonna write

A good review.

You feel me?!

I feel a mushroom in my nose.

Aah.

write a good review

Of my show!

there it is.

mine!

mine!

15-love.

Tori, you messed up my shot.

I don't wanna play anymore.

You get it.

Jade?

And now you're in my house.

this kite is broken.

okay?

And?

I was just walking around,

And I saw this kite

Stuck in a bush,

And... it's broken,

Someone needs to fix it.

you want me to fix your kite?

will you forget

About the stupid kite?

I'm sorry I brought it up.

I want Beck back.

but you broke up with Beck.

I know, just like

When I was seven

And I threw away

My potato patch pal,

But then I realized

I wanted him back.

But it was too late,

'cause my mother

Already gave it away

To some greedy orphans.

Jade, if you wanna get back

Together with Beck,

Then why don't you

Just tell him?

I did, but he rejected me.

Not to be mean,

But why are you coming to me

For help?

because I don't want anyone

Who's cool to see me like this.

okay, maybe you should...

Wait, are we friends?

We're not even friends.

well, yeah,

But if you help me,

Maybe I'll like you.

so, if I help you,

I get a mean friend

And a broken kite.

please, just please,

Talk to Beck for me.

okay, okay, okay,

I'll talk to Beck.

do it soon.

Ah, I got a little makeup

On your pillow.

that's okay.

I'll just ask my grandmother

To make me another one,

If she ever comes back to life.

Push the button

By the door, sweetie.

Okay, thanks.

Who is it?!

I know that's you, Beck.

thanks, Consuela.

enter.

so, this is where you live?

is that bad?

no, it's cool.

It's just, you know,

Most high school guys

Don't live in a rv

Parked in their

Parents' driveway.

well, my parents said

If I live under their roof,

I gotta live by their rules.

ah, so your roof...

My rules.

so, you're probably wondering

Why I'm here.

Like, "hey, Tori's here,

Whaddup wid dat?"

that's how I talk?

no, that's just

My generic boy voice.

ah, I like it.

Do more.

okay.

Um, "hey man, why don't you

"get back together with Jade?

"you know what I'm sayin'?

Yeah."

I should get back together

With Jade?

why?

'cause she's, you know,

Awesome.

guess what?

what?

I'm glad

Jade and I broke up.

why?

because I can't remember

The last time

She did one nice thing for me.

oh, come on, didn't you just

Have a birthday?

She didn't get you anything

For your birthday?

she got me a can of lemonade.

'cause he likes lemonade.

yeah, but out of a can?

he drank it.

yeah, but...

do I have a boyfriend

Or don't I?

do you want one?

walk away.

Curly!

Hi, Trina.

Is that a new shirt?

don't look at my shirt.

I went to theslap.Com

This morning and I didn't see

Your review of my show yet.

I know.

when are you posting it?

the deadline is flexible,

So I'm just...

Oh, please don't...

your review

Better go up today,

And it better make

My show sound awesome!

still got some work to do.

aw, my canadian sweater!

It's not funny.

Trina keeps pressuring me

To write a good review

Of her terrible play,

And I can't lie.

her play was that bad?

so bad, it was laughable.

okay, okay.

Then, say it was

The funniest play

You've ever seen.

oh, what are you

Talking about?

review it like a comedy.

comedy?

that's brilliant.

hey, no charge.

thanks, man.

no, wait, give me 10 bucks.

absolutely not.

20.

are two 10s okay?

help me.

I tried.

Maybe you just need

To forget about Beck.

What are you doing?

And now we're in a closet.

how can Beck

Not want me back?

I'm so cool, and hot.

I've got it all.

yeah, but guys

Don't just care

About how cool and hot you are.

well, what else is there?

Beck said you haven't done

One nice thing for him

In two years.

that is so not true.

We've only dated a year

And eleven months.

well, maybe

He'd take you back

If you did something

Nice for him.

you mean, like

Make him fresh lemonade?

if you want Beck back,

You're gonna have to think

Bigger than beverages.

a dog.

okay, if you're

Gonna be rude...

No.

Beck's always saying

How he wants a dog,

A rotten-hymer.

a rottweiler?

yes, that's what he wants.

Okay, what's our next move?

just get the boy a dog!

go, go out.

Out now. Run...

and then at 10 P.M.,

When president lincoln

Was watching the play

At ford's theater,

Booth quietly slipped

Into lincoln's box,

Pulled out a derringer

And shouted...

I'm gonna kill you!

no.

man, you better run

Before the girl...

Rex!

Trina, I'm teaching a class

Right now.

how dare you call

My one-woman show a comedy?!

I had to follow

My conscience!

Trina, out of this classroom.

I know where you live.

no, you don't.

We moved last year.

what's your new address?!

3707 cahuenga.

It's a duplex, we're on top.

got it.

Trina vega's one-woman show

Will now begin.

in the beginning,

There was nothing,

And then, there was woman.

Wow, I can't believe I'm here

In the city of chicago.

Why, anything could happen

To a woman like me,

Here in Chicago.

* chicaaaaagooooooo... *

* it's a city that's exciting *

* it's a city that's inviting *

* it's a city for a woman *

* just like me *

* there's a lake *

* they call lake michigan *

* I think I'm really *

* fitting in *

* this city is *

* my perfect cup of tea *

* chicaaaaagooooooo... *

Okay, wait one sec.

Beck's asleep.

Give me the dog.

okay.

Oh wait, he has a runny nose.

dogs don't know

How to blow their nose.

okay, give me the dog.

Okay, go on, go in there.

Go lick Beck's face, good boy.

Ahh, okay, if this makes Beck

Like me again,

I'm gonna owe you big time.

you already owe me big time.

what's going on?

I don't know.

Beck, Beck.

Are you okay?

does he sound okay?

Beck!

Beck!

Get him off me.

that was horrible.

I know.

now, he's never gonna

Take me back.

that is not

The key issue right now.

well, what are we gonna do?

no, not the face,

Not the face.

what is going on?

get back.

Beck?

how can you be out here?

you're in there

Being mauled by a dog.

a dog?

My dad's in there.

your dad?

oh, my god.

dad, dad.

Whoa, that's a big dog.

Dad.

I'm doing it.

I'm doing it.

I'm a woman in chicago,

Learning how to walk again,

Thanks to doc stevens

And my new plastic legs.

Take that, chicago.

You're no match

For a woman like me.

From now on,

I'm callin' this city...

She-cago!

yes, you're welcome.

You're all welcome.

Yes, it's okay to laugh.

I'm hilarious.

I'll meet you

At the hospital.

okay.

we're sorry.

so sorry.

oh, why.

he'll be fine.

thanks.

hey, are you in college yet?

bye.

Tori told me

To get you a dog.

dude.

okay, it was kind of my idea,

But I didn't think

The dog would bug out like that.

I just wanted you to have a dog,

Because I know you've talked

About getting one

Ever since I met you,

And I thought that maybe...

You love me again.

who said I stopped?

I ruined the moment.

it's cool.

And I really do owe you.

hey, um, it's getting

Kinda late,

So I was wondering

If maybe you could

Drive me home?

it's not that far a walk.

try not to swallow each other.

All right, check this out

From TheSlap.com.

* not a fantasy *

* just remember me *

* when I make it shine! *

You were off key.

No, I wasn't.

Yeah, you were

Totally off key.

But, I mean, who isn't?

Okay, there's a lot

More stuff like that

At TheSlap.com.

So go there.

Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com