Original subtitles

Kumagorou returned in the morning

and knocked on the old woman's door.

Knock knock. Knock knock.

"Who is it? Do you bring news of my husband's death?"

"Oh please, your husband bit the dust 30 years ago!

"It's me, Kumagorou the Fool!"

"Ah, Kumagorou. What business do you have with this old woman?"

"Skip the formalities."

"It should be impossible for someone my age,"

"but I was able to make my own delicacy!"

"Oh, that's wonderful!

"Being able to make a delicacy shows how much you've learned!"

"So, how was it?"

"I handed him the package, asked for his seal stamp,"

"and told him if he doesn't have it on hand, he could sign for it instead."

"You fool."

"That's not a delicacy, that's a delivery."

Thank you kindly for your attention.

Thank you for letting me take the stage before you.

You should just read this manga as is.

Why would anyone want to make an anime adaption?

What's wrong with you?!

Why would you say that?!

This is a dialogue-heavy piece with hardly any action.

Not to mention most of it takes place in a dressing room.

So why would anyone turn a manga like this into an anime?

Well, now that you put it that way... You have a point.

...said Gan.

What?

Stop that! They're working so hard to animate us even though there's so little to animate!

Yeah, Gan. You shouldn't write off this project just yet.

I haven't even said anything!

Not to mention you all agreed as well!

In the event we get an anime, please leave Gan unanimated.

Hey!

Well, at least we'll have more viewers than we do readers.

Though most of them will be watching it for free.

A shopper who doesn't buy anything is just a window shopper.

But thinking about all those people watching makes me nervous!

Don't be stupid. Just act normally.

This anime is full of ordinary dialogue so that viewers can fully enjoy how cute the girls are.

But it's hard to act "normally" when you're told to.

What do you normally do?

Quit asking pointless questions!

I shop...

I read books and surf the web...

I sleep...

Does that even count?

I guess so.

I mean, sleeping is pretty important.

I usually eat and drink too.

Yeah, of course.

I breathe.

Yeah, of course.

I envy others and desire things...

Yeah, of cours— No!

Be a bit more optimistic.

I live.

If you ask us what we normally do, we live.

That's too broad!

But it basically comes down to

eating, sleeping, and...

And talking. Right?

Huh? But we do talk.

Eat, sleep, and tal—

Hey girls, what do you normally eat?

Quit asking pointless questions!

But if we talk about normal stuff, it may end up normal as well.

I guess I normally eat beef bowls.

Which brand do you like best?

Let's not go into which one we like.

It'll get old fast.

But if we advertise for them, they might let us eat for free!

Now that's something I think would get old really fast.

I used to find it difficult to go to those restaurants.

Huh? Why?

There are lots of men,

and you can't look too fashionable or too casual.

You have to find the right balance between standing out and blending in.

Ah, so it's a weird situation?

You should wear whatever you'd like.

Just dress casually, of course.

Sorry for changing the topic, but we got invited to a party.

Invited?

This is actually on topic.

Look at this.

"Dress casually."

Casually.

Casually.

Casually.

Casually.

How casual is casual?

Casual is so difficult.

Just because the invitation says to dress casually

doesn't mean we should actually do it!

Think of how many manga artists were humiliated because they took that too literally!

Yeah, Marii's idea of casual is a sweatsuit.

It would be pretty tacky to show up at a party wearing that.

Why am I being pidgeonholed as someone who "normally" wears a sweatsuit?!

But if everyone went to the party wearing what they normally do,

wouldn't it just turn into a cosplay party?

Students have their uniforms,

and most jobs have some dress code as well.

Yeah, those are the clothes you wear the most.

So saying "dress casually" is actually an invitation to a cosplay party?

That's so dirty.

I don't think that's quite right.

I doubt there'd be many people with such unusual jobs or interests in the first place.

I don't think casual wear would mean to come in your work clothes.

It could mean plain clothes,

but I wear something different every day.

Then shouldn't casual wear be something that you make sure to wear every day?

That's it!

Pajamas are casual wear?

That's what people wear most of the time when they're not at work.

That's true.

And I saw on TV that in China it's hip to go out in your PJs.

What do you mean?

It's like a status symbol amongst the elite who live near the city center.

But they banned that around the time of the Olympics, citing that it was bad manners.

Anyway, pajamas are definitely the king of casual wear!

So saying "dress casually" is actually an invitation to a pajama party?

That's so dirty.

I still don't think that's right.

Really? Pajamas?

Do you really wear pajamas when you sleep?

Of course! I wear pa-pa-pajamas when I sleep!

I heard it!

I sleep in the nude.

In...

the...

nude...

So Marii's "casual wear" is being naked!

That's not "wear" at all!

So saying "dress casually" is actually an invitation to a nude party?

That's so dirty!

That's beyond dirty!

Anyway, let's take off everything Marii's wearing.

Or rather...

Have her change into her casual wear.

Deal with it! We're definitely not doing it to boost our ratings!

And it's not for the sales either!

What are you doing?!

Oh, look. Someone got all sexy all of a sudden.

It barely even feels like the first episode anymore.

It feels real pervy just flipping this thing up.

Really?

It's not like anything changes behind it, though.

Stop it!

This looks like it should be embarrassing!

You've got enough to be embarrassed about already.

You're casually naked?

That's like the Apache *** Force!

That's a uniform, okay?!

And no one's gonna get that reference either!

One page, flip!

Did you forget that just flipping the page changes nothing behind it?

No! Now it looks like I'm naked!

You can't do that!

Now it looks like I'm naked!

I can't allow that!

Someone else!

Now it looks like I'm naked!

Only fairies are allowed to be naked!

Now it looks like I'm naked without my glasses!

Oh my.

It's like we just did all this for the first-time viewers.

Yeah, we introduced all the characters in a natural way.

Indeed.

A natural way?!

Now for something else!

What the hell?

He's not in this show!

That's not a name!

That's not even writing!

Too long!

Who did?

That has nothing to do with us!

They aren't hidden!

It's not over!

Good day to you!

Good day to you!

You're early, Kigu.

You too!

What are you listening to?

This!

What's this?

Death metal!

That was a little unexpected.

Good day to you!

What's unexpected?

Unexpected.

What is?

I didn't know about this side of you, Gan.

Are you okay? Don't try too hard.

That's mean! Do I look like I'm trying too hard?!

Well, there are these people who are like 30 kilos overweight

and wear fluffy pink and white clothes...

Those are dosuloli.

Dosuloli?

It means "fat gothloli".

There are others too, like sweetloli, prololi,

brololi, hagloli, fagloli, summerloli.

And people who just do it when the fancy takes them, like you?

Moodloli.

But all these puns must weigh heavily on your shoulders...

Stiffloli.

Now it really is as though we're...

The main act!

Established rakugo theaters are called "fixed seats".

There are only four of them left though.

More like we still have four of them.

The stage is called the "high seat".

There's no "low seat", though.

People "climb onto" the high seat, but no one talks about getting off it.

Beginners get the title of an "early seat",

then as you progress you become a "second".

Then you can finally wear a haori,

and the path to be a "true hit" opens.

Anyway, it's really hot today.

Let me fan you.

Wipe your face with this tissue.

My thanks.

I get it why a fan is a fan, but why is a tissue a tissue?

But that's not a difficul tissue!

Life is so full of persisten tissues.

Such as the Tibe tissue!

Good morning.

She's go tissues...

What are you talking about?

It kinda fits her, though.

Yeah. It really is Marii-ish.

I think so too.

Are you even trying to compliment me?

Not at all.

Not to mention, you're a rakugo performer,

so you should greet people with "good day to you" and not "good morning".

I forget about it every now and then.

But seriously, does it really matter?

I see. Well, it's not an urgen tissue.

It's the first drum.

Are you having udon or soba today?

Don't ask boring questions!

Soba!

Udon!

Hey...

Aren't we forgetting something?

Spices?

Chopsticks?

Our order?

Whatever.

Good day to you.

Good day to you.

Good day to you.

Good day to you.

Purr-meow! Purr-meow!

Come on, what are you saying?

You even tried to sleep on my legs.

I don't understand at all!

What are you trying to say?

Purr-meow! Purr-meow!

Purr-meow seven cups of milk right now!

Thank you for your kind attention.

It's hard to ask this, but...

Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Don't ask boring questions!

This anime features unobtrusive dialog so that the viewers can fully enjoy the cuteness of the girls.

It's so stupid.

Which one? Which one?

I like both.

Me too.

Then do you prefer black tea or coffee?

Don't ask boring questions!

Coffee.

Coffee here, too.

If I had to choose, I'd say black tea.

It has a calming aroma to it.

Actually, it contains more caffeine than coffee.

Huh, really?

Then, do you prefer your coffee iced or hot?

Iced!

Hot.

Would you prefer a cold bath or a hot bath?

Why ask that?

I'll go with hot.

I don't think I could bear an icy cold bath,

but I might be able to deal with a burning hot one.

But girls,

the real burning problem is that the fire would—

Dogs or cats.

Which would you choose if you had to?

So once there was this woman—

If you base it on the sounds they make, I prefer dogs.

Nah, cats are way better.

Dogs are in the Zodiac and they work for the police as well.

Cats only bring bad luck. Poor things.

But dogs are looked down upon. What about the phrase "dog of authority"?

But you can also say "arched like a cat", "cat burglar",

"caterwaul" and "purr like a cat".

It's usually the cats who turn into monsters.

Dogs don't do that.

They must have regrets or something.

It's not that dogs don't hold grudges,

more like they just can't stay still.

They're not meant to be ghosts.

Yeah.

There are many famous dog characters.

Cats too.

A curry-taste—

But when it comes to the sounds they make, cats are the best.

Sounds?

Dogs are only good for practicing.

Practicing?

Fetch!

Ah, performing practice?

Yeah, performing practice.

My dog can't perform anything.

I'll bring him next time to help with your practice!

Are you sure?

Anyway, I hate the character for "dog".

Why?

Whenever I feel upset, I forget where I'm supposed to put the last stroke!

I don't!

Oh? Well then,

try staring at this for a while

and see if you can still remember which is the correct one.

I can!

Oh?

You weren't sure.

We write "dog" like this because dogs are always by our side!

When someone works with a hoe, they often have a dog close by!

Really?

I just made it up!

Dogs want to be by our side!

You're annoying.

But even then the last stroke could still go anywhere.

It's okay here...

and here and here and here and even here.

Not there! You'll impale the poor puppy!

But one of those puppies would be really lonely.

That poor puppy!

It's a whole pack!

I got attacked by wild dogs!

I just thought of a new kanji!

Pet loss syndrome!

That's "big" news.

It's hard to ask this, but...

Do you prefer the mountains or the sea?

I told you not to ask boring questions!

A traditional pun.

A traditional pun.

A traditional pun.

What?

I've had enough of this...

I like the sea!

I like the mountains. Much cleaner.

You mean, do I prefer the winter mountains or the winter sea?

No, I think summer is okay.

Summer?

But in the summer you rot so quickly!

What exactly are you talking about?

Weren't you asking whether I'd rather die on a mountain or by the sea?

How'd you manage to interpret it that way?

Well, if I had to die, I'd prefer to do it on a mountain.

I'd get frozen in the mountains,

and centuries later someone would find me,

and my sheer beauty and grace would move them to tears!

We're not talking about frozen corpses in the future.

The question is whether we prefer the mountains or the sea, right?

Well, it's not exactly a preference, but I think the sea is more primitive.

Primitive? Why?

Because in the mountains you shout,

"Yoo-hoo!"

While by the sea you shout,

"You fool!"

Right?

I see!

Though I don't think people shout "You fool!" out to sea very often.

What? Then what do you shout out to sea?

Catch me if you can!

You wouldn't shout that out to sea.

Well, you don't have to be at the sea either.

What if you try to catch crabs?

That's not even shouting.

What?

That was the shout of someone falling into a pit.

Nope.

I guess it's "You fool!" after all.

"You fool!" it is.

"You fool!"

"You fool!"

Right, right, right?

Yeah...

I can't think of anything better.

But doesn't whatever you shout out to sea depend on the direction you're facing?

What do you mean?

You'd shout something different toward the Sea of Japan than you would to the Pacific.

There's no one to shout to across the Pacific.

Even if you were to shout to King Kamehameha, it's 6400 km away.

That's far.

The average "You fool!" travels at 340m/s.

So how long would it take to get there?

Would it be faster if we just shouted "Fool!"?

Yeah, I think "Fool!" on its own is easier to catch than "You fool!".

But what would you shout across the Sea of Japan, where there are people much closer by?

See, you've got nothing. Why not just settle for "You fool!"?

It's not particularly meaningful, but I guess we could.

It might not be meaningful, but at least "You fool!" covers quite a wide angle.

However, "You fool!" has no style and won't solve anything.

Solve?

Oh, right!

Give it back!

Yeah, that works nicely.

Whenever you shout out to the sea, you should shout "Give it back!"

Right?

Right.

With that, you can cover pretty much every angle.

Give back our land!

Give back our people!

Give back our technology!

Give back our submarine resources!

Give back our money!

...

This is Bouhatei Tetora.

Thank you for coming tonight.

The sultry weather continues,

but if you sleep with an electric fan blowing at you,

it'll drain your energy.

So please be careful.

Coming up next, it's Joshiraku's second performance:

Backstage Riches, Three Towers and a Vow, and Cold Girl.

Those three.

Come see us next time, okay?

oato ga mata yoroshikute

osaki mo mae mo yoroshiku ne

chin-ton chin-ton-shan

chin-ton chin-ton-shan

chounai manjou

nazotoki dokidoki shina

shikake ga ariari desu

joshiteki onayami wa sugoroku sai wo futte

(hai hai)

ichi de mo roku de mo nai

(sou kai)

ichi kaete bachi tate sai

(sou kai)

hanashi no tsunagari ga miemasen ne

oya omoshiroku narisou na yokan wa

(oya oya)

me no sakkaku desu ka

iya soredemo kamawanai

hai minna

mawatte

omote mo ura uragaeshite

dondengaeshi mo yoshiyoshi

osaki ni ikou saa douzo

osaki mo mae mo yoroshiku ne

ura butai ga hare butai de

muda uchibanashi mo yokayoka

oato ga mata yoroshikute

osaki mo shiroki gokuraku da

gokuraku da gokuraku da

arayotto gokurakujo douri

chin-ton chin-ton-shan

Thank you kindly for your attention

I hope to have it again and again

Twing-twang twing-twang-twong

Twing-twang twing-twang-twong

The city's watching

Mysteries are fun

Tricks are fun as well

Solve girly problems by throwing a dice

(really?)

It isn't always just one or six

(really?)

The stakes are high but don't fret it

(really?)

I can't really see what you're getting at

See, this looks like it's gonna be fun

(see, see?)

But is it all just an illusion?

I don't care even if it is,

everyone

let's spin!

Front and back, let's just turn it around

You can turn the story upside down too

Let's go on, ladies first,

and I hope to see you around again and again

The backstage is the main stage

That's where we can chat idly

Thank you kindly for your attention

I hope it was a good comedy

A comedy, a comedy,

Always as the comedian girls do it

Twing-twang twing-twang-twong

jugemu jugemu gokou no surikire

kaijari suigyo no suigyou matsu

unrai matsu fuurai matsu

kuuneru tokoro ni sumu tokoro

yaburakouji no burakouji

paipo paipo paipo no shuuringan

shuuringan no guurindai

guurindai no ponpokopi no ponpokona no

choukyuumei chousuke

choi to jikan itadakimasu

goseichou kudasai totonoimashita

warau koto to kakemashite

omatsuri yarou zo tokemasu

sono kokoro wa sono kokoro wa

dochira mo happi ni naru deshou

oato ga yoroshii you de

waraou waraou sa waraimashou

konna jidai koso waraimashou

waraou (soiya soiya) naitara make da

yakekuso waraimashou

haranbanjou sui mo amai yo

norikoeta appare nipponjin

waraou donna toki de mo

nanikuso waraimashou

kuuki nante yomazu ni warattoke

egao egao egao egao

warau kado ni wa fuku kitaru

Live long, live long and prosper

May great wealth await for you wherever you go

Even different lands and skies

May you always have your daily bread

And always be brimming full of life

Like the long-lived king Shuringan

And his dear wife Gurindai

And their children Ponpokopi and Ponpokona

Live a long and blessed life

Let me have a bit of your time

Please listen closely, we're ready

You write it "laughing"

You read it "let's party"

And the point of it, the point of it

Is that everyone will be happy

Thank you for your kind attention

Laugh, laugh, hey, let's laugh

Life may be hard but let's laugh

Laugh (yeah, yeah) you lose if you cry

Laugh until your sides ache

All the sourness will turn to sweet

Great Japanese can get over it

Laugh, whatever time may bring

Laugh until you run out of breath

Don't bother where you are, just laugh

Smile smile smile smile

Smile and the world will smile at you

AAAAA

AAAAA

Tetora

Hiraite

lol

AAAAAA

I'm looking for this kitten

AAAAAA

I'm looking for this kitten

A A A A

Normal Dialogue

Free meals for life

Campaign

Kou○sha

100th

anniversary party

Date and time:

△th of ○、

8 PM

Place:

Kou○sha

corporation

building

12th floor

underground

Please wait

for

our

invitation

Come in

Come in

Come in

casual

wear

100th anniversary of Kodansha

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Buratei Marii

lol

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Bouhatei Tetora

A

Anrakutei Kukuru

A

Haroukitei Kigurumi

A

Kuurubiyuutei Gankyou

Buratei Marii

A A A A

Shyguy

A A A A

Stand up Japan!

A A A A

What a lovely day. This mor- ning I've seen dandelions blo- oming beside the road.

A A A A

We drew it!

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Tokyo Metropolitan Ordinance Regarding the Healthy Development of Youths

A A A A

Hidden body features

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The end

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Bouhatei Tetora

Daatei Harii

A A A A

Different Clothes

A A

Buratei Marii

A A A A

Shouting Instruction

Dog of authority

Dog of authority

Yelp of

a kicked dog

Yelp of

a kicked dog

Die like a dog

Die like a dog

Arched like a cat

Arched like a cat

Cat burglar

Cat burglar

Caterwaul

Caterwaul

Purr like a cat

Purr like a cat

Tomcat

Tomcat

AAAA

I'm looking for this kitten

Dog

Dow

Doa

Dor

Dod

Dos

Dop

Doi

Doy

Dox

Dow

Doa

Dor

Dod

Dos

Dop

Doi

Doy

Dox

Dog

Dog

Dog

Dog

Dog

Dog

Dog

Dog

Dog

lol

Big

Big

lol

You fool!

You fool!

You fool!

You fool!

You fool!

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Preview

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Backstage Riches, Three Towers and a Vow, and Cold Girl