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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:09,425 Am I the only one who remembered daylight savings time? 2 00:00:12,475 --> 00:00:14,287 _ 3 00:00:17,736 --> 00:00:18,844 _ 4 00:00:19,045 --> 00:00:20,683 _ 5 00:00:20,884 --> 00:00:22,128 _ 6 00:00:22,329 --> 00:00:23,565 _ 7 00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:24,666 _ 8 00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,809 CONVICT: Been here 17 years. 9 00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:29,362 Been on the HBO, the Netflix 10 00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:31,953 and one House Hunters International. 11 00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:35,779 But now I got two new hotshot lawyers working my case. 12 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:39,546 No sign of a struggle, no DNA evidence in the cabin 13 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,953 and no attractive young woman declared missing. 14 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:47,145 I think there's a very real chance no one was murdered. 15 00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,022 ♪ ♪ 16 00:00:51,768 --> 00:00:53,661 I was on the jury that convicted him. 17 00:00:53,696 --> 00:00:55,404 Had we known there was no victim, 18 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,030 we might not have voted guilty. 19 00:00:57,107 --> 00:00:59,083 I repeat, might not. 20 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,794 Fantastic news. 21 00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,392 We got picked up for a second season. 22 00:01:03,447 --> 00:01:04,608 And my appeal? 23 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,777 Mostly to women 25 to 54. 24 00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,967 Oh. You mean "appeal" appeal. 25 00:01:09,044 --> 00:01:10,761 Oh, well, that's not happenin. 26 00:01:12,122 --> 00:01:13,972 (BABBLING) 27 00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:18,060 (ALL BABBLING) 28 00:01:25,343 --> 00:01:28,103 What is it, sweetie? Are you gassy? 29 00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:30,439 Uh, when is she not gassy? 30 00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:32,065 Baby burn. 31 00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:34,493 (MOANS) If only you could talk. 32 00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:38,308 It's the people who can't speak that have so much to share. 33 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,249 (BABBLING) 34 00:01:42,986 --> 00:01:44,503 Or maybe not. 35 00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:47,005 (GASPS) Wait a minute. I think there's a show 36 00:01:47,082 --> 00:01:50,217 about teaching a baby sign language. 37 00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:53,180 _ 38 00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:54,365 _ 39 00:01:54,525 --> 00:01:55,674 _ 40 00:01:56,833 --> 00:02:00,185 (GASPS) I could finally talk to my baby. 41 00:02:00,262 --> 00:02:04,598 Maggie, we have a fun week of repetitive drills ahead. 42 00:02:04,674 --> 00:02:06,984 I wonder what the kid was so upset about. 43 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,007 Don't worry, little baby. 44 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,991 I'll be okay till morning. 45 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,871 Now I'm screwed. 46 00:02:18,947 --> 00:02:23,876 Congratulations, babies, we've learned some great signs today. 47 00:02:23,952 --> 00:02:29,122 I hope you don't want "more," because we're "all done," 48 00:02:29,199 --> 00:02:32,863 because our government funding "ran out." 49 00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:35,053 Okay, Maggie. 50 00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:39,703 Do you want "more" or are you "all done"? 51 00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:43,036 "More" or "all done"? 52 00:02:43,213 --> 00:02:45,872 "More" or "all done"? 53 00:02:46,049 --> 00:02:48,801 "More" or "all done"? 54 00:02:48,977 --> 00:02:51,136 "More" or "all done"? 55 00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:53,806 "More" or "all done"? 56 00:02:53,982 --> 00:02:55,716 "More" or "all done"? 57 00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,810 "More" or "all done"? 58 00:02:57,986 --> 00:02:59,055 "More" or "all done"? 59 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,530 Oh, great, now I'm out of Cheerios. 60 00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:03,365 (BELCHES) 61 00:03:03,441 --> 00:03:05,896 Oh, I thought they were doughnuts 62 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,994 that were really far away. 63 00:03:08,071 --> 00:03:09,830 "More"? 64 00:03:09,906 --> 00:03:12,464 "More"? Aw, that's 22. 65 00:03:12,499 --> 00:03:13,667 You busted. 66 00:03:13,743 --> 00:03:16,306 Always say "all done" on a hard 17. 67 00:03:16,341 --> 00:03:18,909 Can you say that? "Hard 17"? 68 00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,410 Don't teach her gambling. 69 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,676 Let's go, dealer. One more hand. 70 00:03:22,752 --> 00:03:24,915 Aw, sir, I don't want to take your money. 71 00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,104 (GROANS) 72 00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:29,735 Remember to make sure that the warriors you kill 73 00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:31,351 are actually dead. 74 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:34,145 I recommend stabbing, dissolving in acid, 75 00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,230 dynamite in the butt... 76 00:03:35,307 --> 00:03:37,928 GAMER'S MOTHER: Jason. You're late for dinner! 77 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:40,764 Ma, I'm talking to 30 million people! 78 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:44,456 Boil them, let pigs eat them, Kentucky-fry them... 79 00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:47,868 Don't play that in front of Maggie. She'll have nightmares. 80 00:03:47,944 --> 00:03:49,744 Eh, suit yourself. 81 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,296 This is more like it. 82 00:03:51,373 --> 00:03:54,945 "Hansel shoved the blood-covered witch into the oven. 83 00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:58,220 'I'm burning alive, ' screamed the witch." 84 00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,284 More? More? 85 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,216 (GASPS) You want more book? 86 00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:07,095 My baby's communicating with me. 87 00:04:07,172 --> 00:04:10,390 - Let me test it out. Do you like peas? - _ 88 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,629 - Do you like applesauce? - _ 89 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:16,633 - Do you like Star Wars movies? - _ 90 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,116 What about Baby Yoda? 91 00:04:19,117 --> 00:04:21,117 _ 92 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,578 Hmm. 93 00:04:24,907 --> 00:04:28,208 This is so exciting. Look, look what Maggie can do. 94 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,671 Maggie, do you want "more"? 95 00:04:32,748 --> 00:04:33,955 That's my girl. 96 00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:36,249 Look, everyone. She's doing it. 97 00:04:36,326 --> 00:04:38,176 Yeah, that's great. 98 00:04:38,253 --> 00:04:40,012 Dad, check this out. 99 00:04:40,088 --> 00:04:41,825 He only sings when we're not looking. 100 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,849 Classic aggravation humor. 101 00:04:43,926 --> 00:04:46,162 - (MARGE GROANS) - A dancing frog. 102 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,998 Bet that would cook up nice. 103 00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:51,015 You're missing a crucial moment in Maggie's development 104 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,157 because of these. 105 00:04:52,244 --> 00:04:54,004 From now on, we're gonna limit the time 106 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:57,145 we spend looking at our stupid phones. 107 00:04:57,222 --> 00:04:59,843 (LAUGHTER) 108 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,845 Yeah, that's great. 109 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,848 And then we'll have a conversation. 110 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,988 (LAUGHS) 111 00:05:07,065 --> 00:05:10,586 Steve Jobs wouldn't let his children use his iPads, 112 00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:13,211 and he was a great parent, I assume. 113 00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:16,715 From now on, everyone gets a half hour of screen time a week. 114 00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:18,833 - And that's it. - Really, Marge? 115 00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:22,128 You think you can give up your Pinterest? 116 00:05:22,205 --> 00:05:24,367 My cake fails are important. 117 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:28,226 If people fail at cake, they need to be told. 118 00:05:29,471 --> 00:05:31,846 Okay. Half an hour a week 119 00:05:31,923 --> 00:05:34,066 for everyone, including me. 120 00:05:34,142 --> 00:05:37,352 I believe there's something you're forgetting. 121 00:05:37,429 --> 00:05:38,737 (SIGHS) 122 00:05:38,814 --> 00:05:42,691 And? And? 123 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:46,335 (GRUNTS) No more screens. You, too. 124 00:05:48,825 --> 00:05:52,325 Here at Messages, we treat your addiction humanely, 125 00:05:52,402 --> 00:05:55,704 with hiking and biking and human equivalents of things 126 00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:58,498 that work with rats. 127 00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:02,502 And all we ask for is your brain when you die. 128 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:05,241 Well, let's pray this place won't be necessary. 129 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,912 - (COW BELL RINGS) - All right, let's round 'em up. 130 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:11,052 Okay. It's been one week. 131 00:06:11,129 --> 00:06:13,397 Let me check your screen times. 132 00:06:13,398 --> 00:06:14,398 _ 133 00:06:14,399 --> 00:06:15,499 _ 134 00:06:15,695 --> 00:06:16,800 _ 135 00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:18,560 Wow. They're really low. 136 00:06:18,636 --> 00:06:21,279 I'm so proud of you. 137 00:06:21,356 --> 00:06:24,733 I forgot how great it was to crack the spine of a book. 138 00:06:24,809 --> 00:06:26,785 (LAUGHS SOFTLY) 139 00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,431 I'm calmer, I'm happier, 140 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,031 I'm seeing things I never saw before. 141 00:06:31,107 --> 00:06:34,270 Did you know our second dog is a cat? 142 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,003 (DOORBELL RINGS) 143 00:06:36,113 --> 00:06:37,613 _ 144 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,442 Hmm? 145 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,207 Sorry, last time I was here, 146 00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:43,802 I left my screen time reversal wrench. 147 00:06:43,879 --> 00:06:45,615 I could just get that back. 148 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:49,474 You guys have been having this man dial back your screen time? 149 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,719 Oops. Looks like I just lost a contract. 150 00:06:52,796 --> 00:06:54,312 Well, anybody want to buy a van? 151 00:06:54,389 --> 00:06:57,627 It only has two miles on it. 152 00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:58,933 (CHUCKLES) 153 00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:00,318 - (GRUMBLES) - What the...? 154 00:07:00,395 --> 00:07:02,988 Okay, close your eyes. 155 00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:06,970 I'm putting these someplace you'll never find them. 156 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:09,277 (FOOTSTEPS DESCENDING STAIRCASE) 157 00:07:09,354 --> 00:07:11,738 (CAR DEPARTING) 158 00:07:11,815 --> 00:07:14,332 (DRAWBRIDGE LOWERING) 159 00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:16,835 (PLANE TAKING OFF) 160 00:07:16,912 --> 00:07:18,912 - (JACKHAMMER GRINDING) - _ 161 00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:20,984 - _ - (BIRD SQUAWKS) 162 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:25,627 No cell phone. Stuck at work all day with nothing to do. 163 00:07:25,703 --> 00:07:27,012 Lookin' at my feet. 164 00:07:27,089 --> 00:07:29,014 Hey, big guy. What, are you bored? 165 00:07:29,091 --> 00:07:31,132 Why don't you do the Daily Jumble in the paper? 166 00:07:31,209 --> 00:07:33,496 Unscramble the words to solve a funny riddle. 167 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,969 Oh, that's what it is. 168 00:07:35,046 --> 00:07:37,500 I thought the proofreader had a stroke. 169 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,524 - _ - Let's see. 170 00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:39,599 Hmm. 171 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,027 "D-D-A." 172 00:07:42,145 --> 00:07:45,146 Hmm. "D-D-A." 173 00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:46,698 Hmm. 174 00:07:46,775 --> 00:07:49,109 "D-D-A." Hmm. 175 00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:50,346 (GASPS) "Dad." 176 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,704 "Dad." I got something! 177 00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:56,041 For the first time ever, I solved a puzzle. 178 00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:58,043 ♪ ♪ 179 00:08:11,315 --> 00:08:12,902 _ 180 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,973 (GASPS) "Dad ate all the pie." 181 00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:22,712 Call the newspaper. Tell them someone has solved it. 182 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,047 And get me some pie. 183 00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:27,072 I love not using a phone. 184 00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:29,741 It's made me much more in tune with the world. 185 00:08:30,361 --> 00:08:32,619 (LOUDER): It's like my senses are heightened. 186 00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:37,415 (THUDDING ECHOING LOUDLY) 187 00:08:37,492 --> 00:08:39,033 (WHOOSHES) 188 00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:40,897 Okay, Maggie, time to go. 189 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,629 Say goodbye to your aunts. 190 00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:46,074 _ 191 00:08:46,075 --> 00:08:47,709 So cute. (LAUGHS SOFTLY) 192 00:08:47,785 --> 00:08:49,239 What's she saying? 193 00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:51,138 (COUGHING) 194 00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:56,768 She always sleeps so good when she's here. 195 00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:01,681 (CAMERA CLICKS) 196 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,358 Huh? 197 00:09:05,687 --> 00:09:08,104 (IMITATES ROCKET NOISES) 198 00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:10,190 Careful. If we enter the Martian atmosphere 199 00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,262 at too steep an angle, we'll burn up. 200 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:14,569 (GASPS, SCREAMS) 201 00:09:14,646 --> 00:09:17,600 Tell my family I love them. 202 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:18,935 (DEEP VOICE): They know that, Steve. 203 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:19,968 They know. 204 00:09:19,984 --> 00:09:21,576 (IMITATES STATIC) 205 00:09:21,653 --> 00:09:25,079 (SNICKERS) Bart has to use his imagination. 206 00:09:25,156 --> 00:09:27,916 This is Jupiter One. Do you copy? 207 00:09:27,992 --> 00:09:29,445 I copy. 208 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,780 What are you doing? 209 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,754 I'm talking to Jupiter One. 210 00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:35,882 Oh, I'll show you Jupiter One. 211 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:37,926 Jupiter One to mission control. 212 00:09:38,002 --> 00:09:40,929 Firing photon torpedoes. 213 00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:42,814 (LAUGHTER) 214 00:09:42,979 --> 00:09:44,340 _ 215 00:09:45,524 --> 00:09:48,728 Um, I'm doing a very important two-page paper. 216 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:52,657 Do you have any way to find a book without using a computer? 217 00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:55,471 Well, the old card catalogue is in the basement. 218 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,807 Bang on this pot to scare the possums away. 219 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,955 Okay. 220 00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:01,958 - (HISSING) - Uh... 221 00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:06,079 Hmm. Mm-hmm. 222 00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:09,174 (INHALES SHARPLY) Mmm, old card stock. 223 00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:11,134 So tactile. 224 00:10:11,463 --> 00:10:13,672 - _ - _ 225 00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:18,850 (GASPS) Look, this one has an old handwritten note. 226 00:10:18,927 --> 00:10:21,853 "Dear Reader..." Ooh, that's me. (CHUCKLES) 227 00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:25,139 "See also: Lost Wax Technique." 228 00:10:25,216 --> 00:10:27,767 I will see also. 229 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,769 (SQUEALS) 230 00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,938 "N-J-X-I." 231 00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:33,698 Jinx. 232 00:10:33,775 --> 00:10:37,151 "P-I-U-Q." Quip. 233 00:10:37,228 --> 00:10:39,182 I'm solving words I don't even know. 234 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,614 ♪ Jumble boogie, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 235 00:10:41,691 --> 00:10:43,853 ♪ Get down, get down ♪ 236 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,356 ♪ With the goobie, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 237 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,524 ♪ Unjumbled that is boogie ♪ 238 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,623 ♪ Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, solve a jumble ♪ 239 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,167 ♪ In your face, world, I'm so humble ♪ 240 00:10:53,244 --> 00:10:54,702 ♪ Now, watch me twirl. ♪ 241 00:10:54,704 --> 00:10:55,704 _ 242 00:10:55,705 --> 00:10:57,672 (SCREAMS) 243 00:10:57,749 --> 00:10:59,340 Okay, okay. 244 00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:01,204 I need the recipe for puttanesca sauce. 245 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,969 Can't go online. 246 00:11:03,046 --> 00:11:05,875 No problem. I've got cookbooks. 247 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,233 Padma Lakshmi's Hot and Zesty. 248 00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:11,381 Tiffany Haddish's Fun with Radishes. 249 00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,883 I made 14 of those... they weren't that fun. 250 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,052 (GASPS) I know who to call. 251 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,108 (BEEPING) 252 00:11:17,528 --> 00:11:18,410 Hello? 253 00:11:18,486 --> 00:11:21,154 What's the recipe for puttanesca sauce? 254 00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:22,488 Oh, you want-a the recipe? 255 00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,474 Sure, sure, get a pencil. 256 00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,370 Step-a one... you come here. 257 00:11:26,405 --> 00:11:28,331 Step-a two... you pay for it. 258 00:11:28,366 --> 00:11:30,538 Step-a three... I put it on-a some pasta. 259 00:11:30,615 --> 00:11:32,832 And that's-a the recipe! 260 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,092 (MOANS) 261 00:11:34,169 --> 00:11:37,211 (TIRES SCREECHING) 262 00:11:37,288 --> 00:11:39,339 ♪ ♪ 263 00:11:39,415 --> 00:11:41,077 (INHALES DEEPLY) 264 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,790 Oh, what a great day. 265 00:11:43,825 --> 00:11:44,886 Oh, you said it. 266 00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:48,106 I spent five minutes today just looking at the sun. 267 00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:51,609 (GRUNTS, GROANS) 268 00:11:52,181 --> 00:11:54,112 Hey, where's Mom? 269 00:11:54,189 --> 00:11:56,865 And why do I hear clicking from this closet? 270 00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,286 _ 271 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,765 Hold on a beat. Just... hold on. 272 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,907 Who was the one who said no screen time? 273 00:12:05,983 --> 00:12:07,033 Who? 274 00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,439 It was you. 275 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,245 (SIGHS) I know. 276 00:12:11,322 --> 00:12:12,797 I have a problem. 277 00:12:12,874 --> 00:12:14,415 So, I'm signing us all up for a month 278 00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:16,968 at that screen addiction rehab center. 279 00:12:17,045 --> 00:12:19,971 But we're not addicted, you are! 280 00:12:20,048 --> 00:12:22,397 That's exactly what an addict would say. 281 00:12:22,432 --> 00:12:24,050 Or a normal person. 282 00:12:24,127 --> 00:12:26,094 That's also what an addict would say. 283 00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:28,888 Well, what wouldn't an addict say?! 284 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,815 Not that, that's for sure. 285 00:12:30,892 --> 00:12:32,962 We'll all go there starting tomorrow. 286 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,319 And I'll watch the pets. 287 00:12:34,396 --> 00:12:36,270 I brought a bunch of them inside. 288 00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:37,800 (HOWLING) 289 00:12:38,677 --> 00:12:40,098 I'm the beta. 290 00:12:42,514 --> 00:12:44,405 _ 291 00:12:44,406 --> 00:12:45,808 - _ - BART AND LISA: Are we there yet? 292 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,710 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 293 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,434 - _ - Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 294 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:51,411 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 295 00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:54,047 - Are we there yet? - Knock off that racket! 296 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,051 - _ - I said knock it off! 297 00:13:01,188 --> 00:13:02,347 Mom's got the problem. 298 00:13:02,424 --> 00:13:03,965 How come we're stuck in... 299 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,661 paradise? 300 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,469 Oh, Zen gardens, infinity pool? 301 00:13:08,546 --> 00:13:10,805 Dr. Drew on call? 302 00:13:10,882 --> 00:13:12,974 I'm just here because I can't stop Fruit Ninja. 303 00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,837 Die, mangoes, die! 304 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:17,812 (GRUNTING) 305 00:13:17,889 --> 00:13:20,773 If this is an addiction center, I'm hooked. 306 00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:22,150 Welcome to Messages. 307 00:13:22,226 --> 00:13:24,347 I am Dr. Lund. 308 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,309 Doc, this prison is great. 309 00:13:26,344 --> 00:13:28,281 Nothing but the best for my family. 310 00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:29,991 I just have one question. 311 00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:33,619 How much does this place cost? 312 00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:36,380 Your stay is entirely funded by donations 313 00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:39,125 from tech billionaires, who feel guilty 314 00:13:39,202 --> 00:13:42,920 that their sleek, disruptive technology put you here. 315 00:13:42,997 --> 00:13:44,889 (GASPS) It's free? 316 00:13:44,966 --> 00:13:48,176 Kids, we've found our summer home. 317 00:13:48,252 --> 00:13:51,095 The adults will reconnect with healthier, 318 00:13:51,172 --> 00:13:53,347 time-tested alternatives 319 00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:55,900 like eating, drinking, fornicating, 320 00:13:55,977 --> 00:13:59,020 relentless hide-and-seek, the braiding of hair, 321 00:13:59,096 --> 00:14:01,814 listening to Dana Gould's podcast. 322 00:14:01,891 --> 00:14:05,410 Four people suffocated in the Creature from the Black Lagoon's 323 00:14:05,487 --> 00:14:07,912 suit until they got it right. At least, 324 00:14:07,989 --> 00:14:10,226 - I'm guessing that's true. - (SIGHS) 325 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:14,160 And you, young man, instead of playing first-person shooters, 326 00:14:14,237 --> 00:14:18,173 we are going to put a real rifle in your hands. 327 00:14:20,835 --> 00:14:22,238 Take that, Second Amendment! 328 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,378 (GRUNTING SOFTLY) 329 00:14:25,102 --> 00:14:27,932 It's time to start healing, Marge. 330 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,766 I love your accent. 331 00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,414 I didn't know I had one. 332 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:34,083 This is our one computer, on which you can say 333 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,920 auf wiedersehen forever to your old online life. 334 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:41,854 Farewell, Instagram, Facebook and NextDoor. 335 00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:44,357 You all entertained me and scared me. 336 00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:46,095 Yes, Marge, yes. 337 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,453 Cut forever the puppet strings that have made you 338 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,197 dance like a psychotic Pinocchio. 339 00:14:51,274 --> 00:14:53,458 AUTOMATED VOICE: Facebook accounts cannot be deleted. 340 00:14:53,535 --> 00:14:56,628 Do not try. Do not try. 341 00:14:57,577 --> 00:14:58,630 What is wrong, Homer? 342 00:14:58,706 --> 00:15:00,943 Why the pickle puss? 343 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,835 I don't know if I can live in a world without online solitaire. 344 00:15:04,912 --> 00:15:06,281 I have an answer for you. 345 00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:07,472 It's sealed. 346 00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:09,810 I will open the plastic. 347 00:15:09,845 --> 00:15:11,092 The box is shut. 348 00:15:11,168 --> 00:15:12,685 I will open the box. 349 00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:13,811 - Could you...? - (GRUNTS) 350 00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:15,930 I-I will deal the cards. 351 00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:18,266 - And also...? - I will play the solitaire! 352 00:15:18,342 --> 00:15:21,060 (WHISTLING) 353 00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:23,633 I need a jack, I need a jack. 354 00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:26,107 I used my phone for everything. 355 00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:27,943 Except to call the parents who gave it to me. 356 00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:30,828 You can call them now. 357 00:15:31,741 --> 00:15:32,905 Hello, Dad? 358 00:15:32,982 --> 00:15:36,000 You don't say. You don't say. 359 00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:38,119 You don't say. 360 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:39,245 What did he say? 361 00:15:39,322 --> 00:15:40,328 He hates me. 362 00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:42,340 Okay, okay. Let's just talk. 363 00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,884 Any subject... except video games. 364 00:15:46,871 --> 00:15:49,013 A tear rolled down my face, 365 00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:51,849 as my avatar did the electric shuffle on her corpse. 366 00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,969 - Yes! - That game is awesome! 367 00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:57,166 I'm losing control, but that's all right. 368 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,774 Today's therapist has many effective options. 369 00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:03,111 (GAS HISSING) 370 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,865 The gas is never a good sign. 371 00:16:09,611 --> 00:16:12,720 I have to say, all this talk about no devices 372 00:16:12,755 --> 00:16:14,539 has really made me want my phone. 373 00:16:14,616 --> 00:16:17,491 I know, I was talking with some guys about the weather, 374 00:16:17,568 --> 00:16:19,785 and I realized I have no idea 375 00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,879 what the temperature is in Cupertino. 376 00:16:21,956 --> 00:16:23,789 - I need my phone. - Me, too. 377 00:16:23,866 --> 00:16:26,751 What if Krusty posted a tweet?! I must retweet! 378 00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,864 - I must retweet! I must retweet! - I need my phone! 379 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,838 - I need my phone! - Must retweet, must retweet! 380 00:16:30,915 --> 00:16:33,057 - Must retweet, must retweet! - I need my phone! 381 00:16:33,134 --> 00:16:34,934 - Must retweet! - (GROWLING): I need my phone! 382 00:16:35,002 --> 00:16:37,562 - (LAUGHS) - We can't leave! 383 00:16:37,639 --> 00:16:40,848 Studies show tech is more addictive than heroin. 384 00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:43,234 Google and TikTok say that's a lie. 385 00:16:43,311 --> 00:16:45,069 We have to be cured. 386 00:16:46,508 --> 00:16:48,606 You couldn't be more wrong, Marge. 387 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,025 You couldn't be more wrong. 388 00:16:51,102 --> 00:16:54,557 Since this nation was founded, families have faced the problem 389 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:58,082 of staying together without driving each other crazy. 390 00:16:58,159 --> 00:17:00,326 For the first 200 years, they played fiddle music 391 00:17:00,403 --> 00:17:01,753 until they had a war. 392 00:17:01,829 --> 00:17:03,621 It was a good system. 393 00:17:03,698 --> 00:17:05,998 Then, they came up with sitting around a radio. 394 00:17:06,075 --> 00:17:08,834 But without a screen, they still had time to look at each other. 395 00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:11,837 So... World War II. 396 00:17:11,914 --> 00:17:15,433 With peace came TV, which bought Silicon Valley the time 397 00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:19,220 to invent the devices that isolate us completely. 398 00:17:19,296 --> 00:17:22,890 Finally, the American family was safe... 399 00:17:22,967 --> 00:17:24,892 from itself. 400 00:17:24,969 --> 00:17:27,061 Is any of that true? 401 00:17:27,138 --> 00:17:28,854 Once I post it on Reddit, 402 00:17:28,931 --> 00:17:30,898 it will be. 403 00:17:30,975 --> 00:17:32,566 Okay, we'll just say goodbye 404 00:17:32,643 --> 00:17:34,402 and then we'll get our things. 405 00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:36,737 What's going on here? 406 00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:39,699 I thought this was a screen-free environment. 407 00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:41,292 It is, for the patients. 408 00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:44,870 But the rest of us have side hustles to perpetrate. 409 00:17:44,947 --> 00:17:48,686 "I'm making $400 a day from home. 410 00:17:48,721 --> 00:17:49,875 Want to know how?" 411 00:17:49,952 --> 00:17:52,920 You're sending that spam through my e-mail account? 412 00:17:52,997 --> 00:17:56,257 (GASPS) You stole her password when she checked in! 413 00:17:56,333 --> 00:18:00,122 Unlike every other rehab, this one is a scam! 414 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,292 And we're gonna expose you to the world! 415 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,794 I'm afraid not. 416 00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,462 You signed a contract. 417 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:10,604 And every exit is guarded by a laser-detection system. 418 00:18:10,681 --> 00:18:12,990 You have lasers at a rehab center? 419 00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:17,161 Let me remind you, this is an evil rehab center. 420 00:18:18,981 --> 00:18:20,998 ♪ ♪ 421 00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:29,757 (DISC CRACKS) 422 00:18:31,418 --> 00:18:32,502 _ 423 00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:33,603 _ 424 00:18:33,662 --> 00:18:35,596 ♪ ♪ 425 00:18:38,822 --> 00:18:39,927 _ 426 00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,778 _ 427 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,735 _ 428 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,707 _ 429 00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:54,597 _ 430 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,041 ♪ ♪ 431 00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:05,802 _ 432 00:19:06,276 --> 00:19:07,493 _ 433 00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:09,828 _ 434 00:19:10,337 --> 00:19:11,448 _ 435 00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:12,549 _ 436 00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:13,550 _ 437 00:19:13,951 --> 00:19:14,951 _ 438 00:19:15,552 --> 00:19:17,818 _ 439 00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,303 Anyone order a ride from Jupiter One? 440 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,939 Ooh, I'm riding in a spaceship. 441 00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:31,213 Stick that spammer in the darkest, 442 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,521 dankest cell we've got, Lou. 443 00:19:33,597 --> 00:19:35,217 The one furthest from the Wi-Fi. 444 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,886 One bar, scumbag. 445 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,984 One bar is all I need 446 00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:41,056 to scramble your Spotify suggestions. 447 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,893 Hope you like Little River Band. 448 00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:46,033 ("REMINISCING" BY LITTLE RIVER BAND PLAYING) 449 00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:48,035 (WIGGUM HUMMING) 450 00:19:48,112 --> 00:19:49,398 (LUND GRUMBLES) 451 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,038 (WIGGUM CONTINUES HUMMING) 452 00:19:51,115 --> 00:19:52,902 (LUND CLEARS THROAT) 453 00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:56,836 (GROANING) 454 00:19:56,912 --> 00:19:59,096 - (STRAINING) - (CONTINUES HUMMING) 455 00:19:59,173 --> 00:20:00,242 No, no! 456 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:04,009 Please, turn the siren on. 457 00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:05,092 (SIREN WAILING) 458 00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:07,277 LUND: Ah! Much better. 459 00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:12,190 Only 12 doughnuts for three cops... well, there's no way 460 00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:15,279 to divide them evenly, so, uh, I'll just eat them all. 461 00:20:16,052 --> 00:20:17,052 Captain Wiggum, 462 00:20:17,099 --> 00:20:19,951 I could help you with your food addiction. 463 00:20:20,027 --> 00:20:21,619 Huh? Uh, what do you mean? 464 00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:24,622 Psychologically, you are a baby with a gun, 465 00:20:24,699 --> 00:20:26,699 sticking food in his mouth. 466 00:20:26,775 --> 00:20:30,272 Eat, eat, eat, all the day, like a schwein. 467 00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:31,871 Wow, you are such a great profiler. 468 00:20:31,947 --> 00:20:34,966 With you, we wouldn't even need DNA evidence. 469 00:20:35,042 --> 00:20:36,779 Boy, so sick of getting criminals 470 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,586 to give semen samples. 471 00:20:38,662 --> 00:20:40,449 Uh, Chief, you don't need semen. 472 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,139 A lock of hair will do. 473 00:20:42,216 --> 00:20:43,883 It what?! 474 00:20:49,403 --> 00:20:54,235 _ 475 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:59,214 _ 476 00:20:59,838 --> 00:21:03,669 _ 477 00:21:04,948 --> 00:21:09,130 _ 478 00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:14,247 _ 479 00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:19,183 _ 480 00:21:29,975 --> 00:21:31,230 Shh! 32316

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