Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:09,425
Am I the only one who remembered
daylight savings time?
2
00:00:12,475 --> 00:00:14,287
_
3
00:00:17,736 --> 00:00:18,844
_
4
00:00:19,045 --> 00:00:20,683
_
5
00:00:20,884 --> 00:00:22,128
_
6
00:00:22,329 --> 00:00:23,565
_
7
00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:24,666
_
8
00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,809
CONVICT: Been here 17 years.
9
00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:29,362
Been on the HBO, the Netflix
10
00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:31,953
and one House Hunters International.
11
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:35,779
But now I got two new hotshot
lawyers working my case.
12
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:39,546
No sign of a struggle,
no DNA evidence in the cabin
13
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,953
and no attractive young
woman declared missing.
14
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:47,145
I think there's a very real
chance no one was murdered.
15
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,022
♪ ♪
16
00:00:51,768 --> 00:00:53,661
I was on the jury that convicted him.
17
00:00:53,696 --> 00:00:55,404
Had we known there was no victim,
18
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,030
we might not have voted guilty.
19
00:00:57,107 --> 00:00:59,083
I repeat, might not.
20
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,794
Fantastic news.
21
00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,392
We got picked up for a second season.
22
00:01:03,447 --> 00:01:04,608
And my appeal?
23
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,777
Mostly to women 25 to 54.
24
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,967
Oh. You mean "appeal" appeal.
25
00:01:09,044 --> 00:01:10,761
Oh, well, that's not happenin.
26
00:01:12,122 --> 00:01:13,972
(BABBLING)
27
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:18,060
(ALL BABBLING)
28
00:01:25,343 --> 00:01:28,103
What is it, sweetie? Are you gassy?
29
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:30,439
Uh, when is she not gassy?
30
00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:32,065
Baby burn.
31
00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:34,493
(MOANS) If only you could talk.
32
00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:38,308
It's the people who can't speak
that have so much to share.
33
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,249
(BABBLING)
34
00:01:42,986 --> 00:01:44,503
Or maybe not.
35
00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:47,005
(GASPS) Wait a minute.
I think there's a show
36
00:01:47,082 --> 00:01:50,217
about teaching a baby sign language.
37
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:53,180
_
38
00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:54,365
_
39
00:01:54,525 --> 00:01:55,674
_
40
00:01:56,833 --> 00:02:00,185
(GASPS) I could finally talk to my baby.
41
00:02:00,262 --> 00:02:04,598
Maggie, we have a fun week
of repetitive drills ahead.
42
00:02:04,674 --> 00:02:06,984
I wonder what the kid
was so upset about.
43
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,007
Don't worry, little baby.
44
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,991
I'll be okay till morning.
45
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,871
Now I'm screwed.
46
00:02:18,947 --> 00:02:23,876
Congratulations, babies,
we've learned some great signs today.
47
00:02:23,952 --> 00:02:29,122
I hope you don't want "more,"
because we're "all done,"
48
00:02:29,199 --> 00:02:32,863
because our government funding
"ran out."
49
00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:35,053
Okay, Maggie.
50
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:39,703
Do you want "more"
or are you "all done"?
51
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:43,036
"More" or "all done"?
52
00:02:43,213 --> 00:02:45,872
"More" or "all done"?
53
00:02:46,049 --> 00:02:48,801
"More" or "all done"?
54
00:02:48,977 --> 00:02:51,136
"More" or "all done"?
55
00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:53,806
"More" or "all done"?
56
00:02:53,982 --> 00:02:55,716
"More" or "all done"?
57
00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,810
"More" or "all done"?
58
00:02:57,986 --> 00:02:59,055
"More" or "all done"?
59
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,530
Oh, great, now I'm out of Cheerios.
60
00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:03,365
(BELCHES)
61
00:03:03,441 --> 00:03:05,896
Oh, I thought they were doughnuts
62
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,994
that were really far away.
63
00:03:08,071 --> 00:03:09,830
"More"?
64
00:03:09,906 --> 00:03:12,464
"More"? Aw, that's 22.
65
00:03:12,499 --> 00:03:13,667
You busted.
66
00:03:13,743 --> 00:03:16,306
Always say "all done" on a hard 17.
67
00:03:16,341 --> 00:03:18,909
Can you say that? "Hard 17"?
68
00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,410
Don't teach her gambling.
69
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,676
Let's go, dealer. One more hand.
70
00:03:22,752 --> 00:03:24,915
Aw, sir, I don't want
to take your money.
71
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,104
(GROANS)
72
00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:29,735
Remember to make sure
that the warriors you kill
73
00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:31,351
are actually dead.
74
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:34,145
I recommend stabbing,
dissolving in acid,
75
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,230
dynamite in the butt...
76
00:03:35,307 --> 00:03:37,928
GAMER'S MOTHER: Jason.
You're late for dinner!
77
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:40,764
Ma, I'm talking to 30 million people!
78
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:44,456
Boil them, let pigs eat them,
Kentucky-fry them...
79
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:47,868
Don't play that in front of Maggie.
She'll have nightmares.
80
00:03:47,944 --> 00:03:49,744
Eh, suit yourself.
81
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,296
This is more like it.
82
00:03:51,373 --> 00:03:54,945
"Hansel shoved the blood-covered
witch into the oven.
83
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:58,220
'I'm burning alive, '
screamed the witch."
84
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,284
More? More?
85
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,216
(GASPS) You want more book?
86
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:07,095
My baby's communicating with me.
87
00:04:07,172 --> 00:04:10,390
- Let me test it out. Do you like peas?
- _
88
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,629
- Do you like applesauce?
- _
89
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:16,633
- Do you like Star Wars movies?
- _
90
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,116
What about Baby Yoda?
91
00:04:19,117 --> 00:04:21,117
_
92
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,578
Hmm.
93
00:04:24,907 --> 00:04:28,208
This is so exciting.
Look, look what Maggie can do.
94
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,671
Maggie, do you want "more"?
95
00:04:32,748 --> 00:04:33,955
That's my girl.
96
00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:36,249
Look, everyone. She's doing it.
97
00:04:36,326 --> 00:04:38,176
Yeah, that's great.
98
00:04:38,253 --> 00:04:40,012
Dad, check this out.
99
00:04:40,088 --> 00:04:41,825
He only sings when we're not looking.
100
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,849
Classic aggravation humor.
101
00:04:43,926 --> 00:04:46,162
- (MARGE GROANS)
- A dancing frog.
102
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,998
Bet that would cook up nice.
103
00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:51,015
You're missing a crucial
moment in Maggie's development
104
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,157
because of these.
105
00:04:52,244 --> 00:04:54,004
From now on, we're gonna limit the time
106
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:57,145
we spend looking at our stupid phones.
107
00:04:57,222 --> 00:04:59,843
(LAUGHTER)
108
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,845
Yeah, that's great.
109
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,848
And then we'll have a conversation.
110
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,988
(LAUGHS)
111
00:05:07,065 --> 00:05:10,586
Steve Jobs wouldn't let
his children use his iPads,
112
00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:13,211
and he was a great parent, I assume.
113
00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:16,715
From now on, everyone gets a
half hour of screen time a week.
114
00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:18,833
- And that's it.
- Really, Marge?
115
00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:22,128
You think you can give
up your Pinterest?
116
00:05:22,205 --> 00:05:24,367
My cake fails are important.
117
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:28,226
If people fail at cake,
they need to be told.
118
00:05:29,471 --> 00:05:31,846
Okay. Half an hour a week
119
00:05:31,923 --> 00:05:34,066
for everyone, including me.
120
00:05:34,142 --> 00:05:37,352
I believe there's something
you're forgetting.
121
00:05:37,429 --> 00:05:38,737
(SIGHS)
122
00:05:38,814 --> 00:05:42,691
And? And?
123
00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:46,335
(GRUNTS) No more screens. You, too.
124
00:05:48,825 --> 00:05:52,325
Here at Messages,
we treat your addiction humanely,
125
00:05:52,402 --> 00:05:55,704
with hiking and biking and
human equivalents of things
126
00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:58,498
that work with rats.
127
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:02,502
And all we ask for is
your brain when you die.
128
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:05,241
Well, let's pray
this place won't be necessary.
129
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,912
- (COW BELL RINGS)
- All right, let's round 'em up.
130
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:11,052
Okay. It's been one week.
131
00:06:11,129 --> 00:06:13,397
Let me check your screen times.
132
00:06:13,398 --> 00:06:14,398
_
133
00:06:14,399 --> 00:06:15,499
_
134
00:06:15,695 --> 00:06:16,800
_
135
00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:18,560
Wow. They're really low.
136
00:06:18,636 --> 00:06:21,279
I'm so proud of you.
137
00:06:21,356 --> 00:06:24,733
I forgot how great it was to
crack the spine of a book.
138
00:06:24,809 --> 00:06:26,785
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
139
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,431
I'm calmer, I'm happier,
140
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,031
I'm seeing things I never saw before.
141
00:06:31,107 --> 00:06:34,270
Did you know our second dog is a cat?
142
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,003
(DOORBELL RINGS)
143
00:06:36,113 --> 00:06:37,613
_
144
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,442
Hmm?
145
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,207
Sorry, last time I was here,
146
00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:43,802
I left my screen time reversal wrench.
147
00:06:43,879 --> 00:06:45,615
I could just get that back.
148
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:49,474
You guys have been having this
man dial back your screen time?
149
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,719
Oops. Looks like I just lost a contract.
150
00:06:52,796 --> 00:06:54,312
Well, anybody want to buy a van?
151
00:06:54,389 --> 00:06:57,627
It only has two miles on it.
152
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:58,933
(CHUCKLES)
153
00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:00,318
- (GRUMBLES)
- What the...?
154
00:07:00,395 --> 00:07:02,988
Okay, close your eyes.
155
00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:06,970
I'm putting these someplace
you'll never find them.
156
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:09,277
(FOOTSTEPS DESCENDING STAIRCASE)
157
00:07:09,354 --> 00:07:11,738
(CAR DEPARTING)
158
00:07:11,815 --> 00:07:14,332
(DRAWBRIDGE LOWERING)
159
00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:16,835
(PLANE TAKING OFF)
160
00:07:16,912 --> 00:07:18,912
- (JACKHAMMER GRINDING)
- _
161
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:20,984
- _
- (BIRD SQUAWKS)
162
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:25,627
No cell phone. Stuck at work
all day with nothing to do.
163
00:07:25,703 --> 00:07:27,012
Lookin' at my feet.
164
00:07:27,089 --> 00:07:29,014
Hey, big guy. What, are you bored?
165
00:07:29,091 --> 00:07:31,132
Why don't you do the
Daily Jumble in the paper?
166
00:07:31,209 --> 00:07:33,496
Unscramble the words
to solve a funny riddle.
167
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,969
Oh, that's what it is.
168
00:07:35,046 --> 00:07:37,500
I thought the proofreader had a stroke.
169
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,524
- _
- Let's see.
170
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:39,599
Hmm.
171
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,027
"D-D-A."
172
00:07:42,145 --> 00:07:45,146
Hmm. "D-D-A."
173
00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:46,698
Hmm.
174
00:07:46,775 --> 00:07:49,109
"D-D-A." Hmm.
175
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:50,346
(GASPS) "Dad."
176
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,704
"Dad." I got something!
177
00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:56,041
For the first time ever,
I solved a puzzle.
178
00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:58,043
♪ ♪
179
00:08:11,315 --> 00:08:12,902
_
180
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,973
(GASPS) "Dad ate all the pie."
181
00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:22,712
Call the newspaper.
Tell them someone has solved it.
182
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,047
And get me some pie.
183
00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:27,072
I love not using a phone.
184
00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:29,741
It's made me much more
in tune with the world.
185
00:08:30,361 --> 00:08:32,619
(LOUDER):
It's like my senses are heightened.
186
00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:37,415
(THUDDING ECHOING LOUDLY)
187
00:08:37,492 --> 00:08:39,033
(WHOOSHES)
188
00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:40,897
Okay, Maggie, time to go.
189
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,629
Say goodbye to your aunts.
190
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:46,074
_
191
00:08:46,075 --> 00:08:47,709
So cute. (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
192
00:08:47,785 --> 00:08:49,239
What's she saying?
193
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:51,138
(COUGHING)
194
00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:56,768
She always sleeps so
good when she's here.
195
00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:01,681
(CAMERA CLICKS)
196
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,358
Huh?
197
00:09:05,687 --> 00:09:08,104
(IMITATES ROCKET NOISES)
198
00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:10,190
Careful. If we enter
the Martian atmosphere
199
00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,262
at too steep an angle, we'll burn up.
200
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:14,569
(GASPS, SCREAMS)
201
00:09:14,646 --> 00:09:17,600
Tell my family I love them.
202
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:18,935
(DEEP VOICE): They know that, Steve.
203
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:19,968
They know.
204
00:09:19,984 --> 00:09:21,576
(IMITATES STATIC)
205
00:09:21,653 --> 00:09:25,079
(SNICKERS) Bart has to
use his imagination.
206
00:09:25,156 --> 00:09:27,916
This is Jupiter One. Do you copy?
207
00:09:27,992 --> 00:09:29,445
I copy.
208
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,780
What are you doing?
209
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,754
I'm talking to Jupiter One.
210
00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:35,882
Oh, I'll show you Jupiter One.
211
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:37,926
Jupiter One to mission control.
212
00:09:38,002 --> 00:09:40,929
Firing photon torpedoes.
213
00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:42,814
(LAUGHTER)
214
00:09:42,979 --> 00:09:44,340
_
215
00:09:45,524 --> 00:09:48,728
Um, I'm doing a very
important two-page paper.
216
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:52,657
Do you have any way to find a
book without using a computer?
217
00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:55,471
Well, the old card catalogue
is in the basement.
218
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,807
Bang on this pot to
scare the possums away.
219
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,955
Okay.
220
00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:01,958
- (HISSING)
- Uh...
221
00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:06,079
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
222
00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:09,174
(INHALES SHARPLY) Mmm, old card stock.
223
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:11,134
So tactile.
224
00:10:11,463 --> 00:10:13,672
- _
- _
225
00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:18,850
(GASPS) Look, this one
has an old handwritten note.
226
00:10:18,927 --> 00:10:21,853
"Dear Reader..."
Ooh, that's me. (CHUCKLES)
227
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:25,139
"See also: Lost Wax Technique."
228
00:10:25,216 --> 00:10:27,767
I will see also.
229
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,769
(SQUEALS)
230
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,938
"N-J-X-I."
231
00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:33,698
Jinx.
232
00:10:33,775 --> 00:10:37,151
"P-I-U-Q." Quip.
233
00:10:37,228 --> 00:10:39,182
I'm solving words I don't even know.
234
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,614
♪ Jumble boogie,
doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
235
00:10:41,691 --> 00:10:43,853
♪ Get down, get down ♪
236
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,356
♪ With the goobie,
doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
237
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,524
♪ Unjumbled that is boogie ♪
238
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,623
♪ Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo,
solve a jumble ♪
239
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,167
♪ In your face, world, I'm so humble ♪
240
00:10:53,244 --> 00:10:54,702
♪ Now, watch me twirl. ♪
241
00:10:54,704 --> 00:10:55,704
_
242
00:10:55,705 --> 00:10:57,672
(SCREAMS)
243
00:10:57,749 --> 00:10:59,340
Okay, okay.
244
00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:01,204
I need the recipe for puttanesca sauce.
245
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,969
Can't go online.
246
00:11:03,046 --> 00:11:05,875
No problem. I've got cookbooks.
247
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,233
Padma Lakshmi's Hot and Zesty.
248
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:11,381
Tiffany Haddish's Fun with Radishes.
249
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,883
I made 14 of those...
they weren't that fun.
250
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,052
(GASPS) I know who to call.
251
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,108
(BEEPING)
252
00:11:17,528 --> 00:11:18,410
Hello?
253
00:11:18,486 --> 00:11:21,154
What's the recipe for puttanesca sauce?
254
00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:22,488
Oh, you want-a the recipe?
255
00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,474
Sure, sure, get a pencil.
256
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,370
Step-a one... you come here.
257
00:11:26,405 --> 00:11:28,331
Step-a two... you pay for it.
258
00:11:28,366 --> 00:11:30,538
Step-a three...
I put it on-a some pasta.
259
00:11:30,615 --> 00:11:32,832
And that's-a the recipe!
260
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,092
(MOANS)
261
00:11:34,169 --> 00:11:37,211
(TIRES SCREECHING)
262
00:11:37,288 --> 00:11:39,339
♪ ♪
263
00:11:39,415 --> 00:11:41,077
(INHALES DEEPLY)
264
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,790
Oh, what a great day.
265
00:11:43,825 --> 00:11:44,886
Oh, you said it.
266
00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:48,106
I spent five minutes today
just looking at the sun.
267
00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:51,609
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
268
00:11:52,181 --> 00:11:54,112
Hey, where's Mom?
269
00:11:54,189 --> 00:11:56,865
And why do I hear
clicking from this closet?
270
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,286
_
271
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,765
Hold on a beat. Just... hold on.
272
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,907
Who was the one who said no screen time?
273
00:12:05,983 --> 00:12:07,033
Who?
274
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,439
It was you.
275
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,245
(SIGHS) I know.
276
00:12:11,322 --> 00:12:12,797
I have a problem.
277
00:12:12,874 --> 00:12:14,415
So, I'm signing us all up for a month
278
00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:16,968
at that screen addiction rehab center.
279
00:12:17,045 --> 00:12:19,971
But we're not addicted, you are!
280
00:12:20,048 --> 00:12:22,397
That's exactly what an addict would say.
281
00:12:22,432 --> 00:12:24,050
Or a normal person.
282
00:12:24,127 --> 00:12:26,094
That's also what an addict would say.
283
00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:28,888
Well, what wouldn't an addict say?!
284
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,815
Not that, that's for sure.
285
00:12:30,892 --> 00:12:32,962
We'll all go there starting tomorrow.
286
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,319
And I'll watch the pets.
287
00:12:34,396 --> 00:12:36,270
I brought a bunch of them inside.
288
00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:37,800
(HOWLING)
289
00:12:38,677 --> 00:12:40,098
I'm the beta.
290
00:12:42,514 --> 00:12:44,405
_
291
00:12:44,406 --> 00:12:45,808
- _
- BART AND LISA: Are we there yet?
292
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,710
Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
293
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,434
- _
- Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
294
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:51,411
Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
295
00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:54,047
- Are we there yet?
- Knock off that racket!
296
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,051
- _
- I said knock it off!
297
00:13:01,188 --> 00:13:02,347
Mom's got the problem.
298
00:13:02,424 --> 00:13:03,965
How come we're stuck in...
299
00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,661
paradise?
300
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,469
Oh, Zen gardens, infinity pool?
301
00:13:08,546 --> 00:13:10,805
Dr. Drew on call?
302
00:13:10,882 --> 00:13:12,974
I'm just here because
I can't stop Fruit Ninja.
303
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,837
Die, mangoes, die!
304
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:17,812
(GRUNTING)
305
00:13:17,889 --> 00:13:20,773
If this is an addiction center,
I'm hooked.
306
00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:22,150
Welcome to Messages.
307
00:13:22,226 --> 00:13:24,347
I am Dr. Lund.
308
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,309
Doc, this prison is great.
309
00:13:26,344 --> 00:13:28,281
Nothing but the best for my family.
310
00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:29,991
I just have one question.
311
00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:33,619
How much does this place cost?
312
00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:36,380
Your stay is entirely
funded by donations
313
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:39,125
from tech billionaires, who feel guilty
314
00:13:39,202 --> 00:13:42,920
that their sleek,
disruptive technology put you here.
315
00:13:42,997 --> 00:13:44,889
(GASPS) It's free?
316
00:13:44,966 --> 00:13:48,176
Kids, we've found our summer home.
317
00:13:48,252 --> 00:13:51,095
The adults will
reconnect with healthier,
318
00:13:51,172 --> 00:13:53,347
time-tested alternatives
319
00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:55,900
like eating, drinking, fornicating,
320
00:13:55,977 --> 00:13:59,020
relentless hide-and-seek,
the braiding of hair,
321
00:13:59,096 --> 00:14:01,814
listening to Dana Gould's podcast.
322
00:14:01,891 --> 00:14:05,410
Four people suffocated in the
Creature from the Black Lagoon's
323
00:14:05,487 --> 00:14:07,912
suit until they got it right. At least,
324
00:14:07,989 --> 00:14:10,226
- I'm guessing that's true.
- (SIGHS)
325
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:14,160
And you, young man, instead
of playing first-person shooters,
326
00:14:14,237 --> 00:14:18,173
we are going to put
a real rifle in your hands.
327
00:14:20,835 --> 00:14:22,238
Take that, Second Amendment!
328
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,378
(GRUNTING SOFTLY)
329
00:14:25,102 --> 00:14:27,932
It's time to start healing, Marge.
330
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,766
I love your accent.
331
00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,414
I didn't know I had one.
332
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:34,083
This is our one computer,
on which you can say
333
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,920
auf wiedersehen forever
to your old online life.
334
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:41,854
Farewell, Instagram,
Facebook and NextDoor.
335
00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:44,357
You all entertained me and scared me.
336
00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:46,095
Yes, Marge, yes.
337
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,453
Cut forever the puppet
strings that have made you
338
00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,197
dance like a psychotic Pinocchio.
339
00:14:51,274 --> 00:14:53,458
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Facebook accounts cannot be deleted.
340
00:14:53,535 --> 00:14:56,628
Do not try. Do not try.
341
00:14:57,577 --> 00:14:58,630
What is wrong, Homer?
342
00:14:58,706 --> 00:15:00,943
Why the pickle puss?
343
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,835
I don't know if I can live in a
world without online solitaire.
344
00:15:04,912 --> 00:15:06,281
I have an answer for you.
345
00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:07,472
It's sealed.
346
00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:09,810
I will open the plastic.
347
00:15:09,845 --> 00:15:11,092
The box is shut.
348
00:15:11,168 --> 00:15:12,685
I will open the box.
349
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:13,811
- Could you...?
- (GRUNTS)
350
00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:15,930
I-I will deal the cards.
351
00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:18,266
- And also...?
- I will play the solitaire!
352
00:15:18,342 --> 00:15:21,060
(WHISTLING)
353
00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:23,633
I need a jack, I need a jack.
354
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:26,107
I used my phone for everything.
355
00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:27,943
Except to call the parents
who gave it to me.
356
00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:30,828
You can call them now.
357
00:15:31,741 --> 00:15:32,905
Hello, Dad?
358
00:15:32,982 --> 00:15:36,000
You don't say. You don't say.
359
00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:38,119
You don't say.
360
00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:39,245
What did he say?
361
00:15:39,322 --> 00:15:40,328
He hates me.
362
00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:42,340
Okay, okay. Let's just talk.
363
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,884
Any subject... except video games.
364
00:15:46,871 --> 00:15:49,013
A tear rolled down my face,
365
00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:51,849
as my avatar did the electric
shuffle on her corpse.
366
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,969
- Yes!
- That game is awesome!
367
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:57,166
I'm losing control,
but that's all right.
368
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,774
Today's therapist has
many effective options.
369
00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:03,111
(GAS HISSING)
370
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,865
The gas is never a good sign.
371
00:16:09,611 --> 00:16:12,720
I have to say,
all this talk about no devices
372
00:16:12,755 --> 00:16:14,539
has really made me want my phone.
373
00:16:14,616 --> 00:16:17,491
I know, I was talking with
some guys about the weather,
374
00:16:17,568 --> 00:16:19,785
and I realized I have no idea
375
00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,879
what the temperature is in Cupertino.
376
00:16:21,956 --> 00:16:23,789
- I need my phone.
- Me, too.
377
00:16:23,866 --> 00:16:26,751
What if Krusty posted a tweet?!
I must retweet!
378
00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,864
- I must retweet! I must retweet!
- I need my phone!
379
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,838
- I need my phone!
- Must retweet, must retweet!
380
00:16:30,915 --> 00:16:33,057
- Must retweet, must retweet!
- I need my phone!
381
00:16:33,134 --> 00:16:34,934
- Must retweet!
- (GROWLING): I need my phone!
382
00:16:35,002 --> 00:16:37,562
- (LAUGHS)
- We can't leave!
383
00:16:37,639 --> 00:16:40,848
Studies show tech is more
addictive than heroin.
384
00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:43,234
Google and TikTok say that's a lie.
385
00:16:43,311 --> 00:16:45,069
We have to be cured.
386
00:16:46,508 --> 00:16:48,606
You couldn't be more wrong, Marge.
387
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,025
You couldn't be more wrong.
388
00:16:51,102 --> 00:16:54,557
Since this nation was founded,
families have faced the problem
389
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:58,082
of staying together without
driving each other crazy.
390
00:16:58,159 --> 00:17:00,326
For the first 200 years,
they played fiddle music
391
00:17:00,403 --> 00:17:01,753
until they had a war.
392
00:17:01,829 --> 00:17:03,621
It was a good system.
393
00:17:03,698 --> 00:17:05,998
Then, they came up
with sitting around a radio.
394
00:17:06,075 --> 00:17:08,834
But without a screen, they still
had time to look at each other.
395
00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:11,837
So... World War II.
396
00:17:11,914 --> 00:17:15,433
With peace came TV,
which bought Silicon Valley the time
397
00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:19,220
to invent the devices
that isolate us completely.
398
00:17:19,296 --> 00:17:22,890
Finally, the American family was safe...
399
00:17:22,967 --> 00:17:24,892
from itself.
400
00:17:24,969 --> 00:17:27,061
Is any of that true?
401
00:17:27,138 --> 00:17:28,854
Once I post it on Reddit,
402
00:17:28,931 --> 00:17:30,898
it will be.
403
00:17:30,975 --> 00:17:32,566
Okay, we'll just say goodbye
404
00:17:32,643 --> 00:17:34,402
and then we'll get our things.
405
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:36,737
What's going on here?
406
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:39,699
I thought this was a
screen-free environment.
407
00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:41,292
It is, for the patients.
408
00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:44,870
But the rest of us have
side hustles to perpetrate.
409
00:17:44,947 --> 00:17:48,686
"I'm making $400 a day from home.
410
00:17:48,721 --> 00:17:49,875
Want to know how?"
411
00:17:49,952 --> 00:17:52,920
You're sending that spam
through my e-mail account?
412
00:17:52,997 --> 00:17:56,257
(GASPS) You stole her
password when she checked in!
413
00:17:56,333 --> 00:18:00,122
Unlike every other rehab,
this one is a scam!
414
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,292
And we're gonna expose you to the world!
415
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,794
I'm afraid not.
416
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,462
You signed a contract.
417
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:10,604
And every exit is guarded
by a laser-detection system.
418
00:18:10,681 --> 00:18:12,990
You have lasers at a rehab center?
419
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:17,161
Let me remind you,
this is an evil rehab center.
420
00:18:18,981 --> 00:18:20,998
♪ ♪
421
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:29,757
(DISC CRACKS)
422
00:18:31,418 --> 00:18:32,502
_
423
00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:33,603
_
424
00:18:33,662 --> 00:18:35,596
♪ ♪
425
00:18:38,822 --> 00:18:39,927
_
426
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,778
_
427
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,735
_
428
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,707
_
429
00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:54,597
_
430
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,041
♪ ♪
431
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:05,802
_
432
00:19:06,276 --> 00:19:07,493
_
433
00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:09,828
_
434
00:19:10,337 --> 00:19:11,448
_
435
00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:12,549
_
436
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:13,550
_
437
00:19:13,951 --> 00:19:14,951
_
438
00:19:15,552 --> 00:19:17,818
_
439
00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,303
Anyone order a ride from Jupiter One?
440
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,939
Ooh, I'm riding in a spaceship.
441
00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:31,213
Stick that spammer in the darkest,
442
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,521
dankest cell we've got, Lou.
443
00:19:33,597 --> 00:19:35,217
The one furthest from the Wi-Fi.
444
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,886
One bar, scumbag.
445
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,984
One bar is all I need
446
00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:41,056
to scramble your Spotify suggestions.
447
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,893
Hope you like Little River Band.
448
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:46,033
("REMINISCING"
BY LITTLE RIVER BAND PLAYING)
449
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:48,035
(WIGGUM HUMMING)
450
00:19:48,112 --> 00:19:49,398
(LUND GRUMBLES)
451
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,038
(WIGGUM CONTINUES HUMMING)
452
00:19:51,115 --> 00:19:52,902
(LUND CLEARS THROAT)
453
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:56,836
(GROANING)
454
00:19:56,912 --> 00:19:59,096
- (STRAINING)
- (CONTINUES HUMMING)
455
00:19:59,173 --> 00:20:00,242
No, no!
456
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:04,009
Please, turn the siren on.
457
00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:05,092
(SIREN WAILING)
458
00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:07,277
LUND: Ah! Much better.
459
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:12,190
Only 12 doughnuts for three cops...
well, there's no way
460
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:15,279
to divide them evenly, so,
uh, I'll just eat them all.
461
00:20:16,052 --> 00:20:17,052
Captain Wiggum,
462
00:20:17,099 --> 00:20:19,951
I could help you with
your food addiction.
463
00:20:20,027 --> 00:20:21,619
Huh? Uh, what do you mean?
464
00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:24,622
Psychologically,
you are a baby with a gun,
465
00:20:24,699 --> 00:20:26,699
sticking food in his mouth.
466
00:20:26,775 --> 00:20:30,272
Eat, eat, eat, all the day,
like a schwein.
467
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:31,871
Wow, you are such a great profiler.
468
00:20:31,947 --> 00:20:34,966
With you, we wouldn't even
need DNA evidence.
469
00:20:35,042 --> 00:20:36,779
Boy, so sick of getting criminals
470
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,586
to give semen samples.
471
00:20:38,662 --> 00:20:40,449
Uh, Chief, you don't need semen.
472
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,139
A lock of hair will do.
473
00:20:42,216 --> 00:20:43,883
It what?!
474
00:20:49,403 --> 00:20:54,235
_
475
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:59,214
_
476
00:20:59,838 --> 00:21:03,669
_
477
00:21:04,948 --> 00:21:09,130
_
478
00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:14,247
_
479
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:19,183
_
480
00:21:29,975 --> 00:21:31,230
Shh!
32316
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
