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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,862 [BUZZES] 2 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,126 Chas? 3 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:58,886 Breakfast? 4 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:11,774 You're up. 5 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,442 CHAS: Yeah. 6 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,035 You're gonna be late for work, Dana. 7 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,998 DANA: Cornflakes or Rice Krispies? 8 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,167 It's all right. I'll get my own. 9 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,335 DANA: Oh. 10 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,341 Confirmed bachelor, aren't you? 11 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,677 A fella last night in the club... 12 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,722 ...said that my voice was wasted on cabaret material. 13 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,931 CHAS: Oh, yeah? 14 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,270 DANA: Shall I come over tonight? 15 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,148 CHAS: I'll call you at the club about 2. 16 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,816 Half past. 17 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:59,155 DANA: Two? - Two, or half past. 18 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,833 Morning, Rose. 19 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,149 It's 8:00 in the evening, right? The kiddies are still viewing, ain't they? 20 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,359 [HORN HONKING] 21 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,486 You bastard foreign female. 22 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:41,030 I mean, there's ketchup all over the screen. 23 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,325 - Geezer's got half his ear hanging off. - Disgusting. 24 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,911 I mean, how are the kids gonna grow up? 25 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,080 - It's not right. - Definitely not. 26 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,708 - Where to, Chas? - The minicab depot. 27 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,392 Put your tie on. 28 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,113 HARLEY-BROWN: Gentlemen of the jury... 29 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:27,368 ...I would solemnly suggest to you that what are really on trial here today... 30 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,870 ...are the ethics of a community. 31 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,916 Our national economy, even our national survival... 32 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:37,586 ...devolves upon the consolidation, by merger... 33 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:41,132 ...of the smaller and weaker economic units... 34 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:45,678 ...with the larger and lustier pillars of our commercial context. 35 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,015 What did I tell you? What did I tell you? Look at this pigsty. 36 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,224 [WOMAN SHRIEKS] 37 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,226 [MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO] 38 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,812 Correspondence not answered. 39 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,439 - Nothing to do with us. - Clear out. 40 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,524 - Shh. MAN [OVER RADIO]: Hello? Hello? 41 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:02,570 CHAS: I want that pig, Pooley. POOLEY: Man, what's it about? 42 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,196 - Are you Pooley? - Yes, I am. 43 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,490 You're a disgrace, an incompetent disgrace. 44 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,327 - You're not fit to run a... - Business is business... 45 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,912 ...and progress is progress. 46 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,123 CHAS: Where's your brother? - At the pictures. 47 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,292 - Answer yes or no. - It's around the office. 48 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,836 - This gentleman... CHAS: Filth and disorder. 49 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:22,798 You need help. Help and protection. We offered it, my governor, personally. 50 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,301 You had an appointment. He waited 15 minutes... 51 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,470 ...you slag, 15 minutes. - He checked the letter. 52 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:30,556 You call this a service to the public? Look at this equipment. 53 00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,058 Not maintained, is it? 54 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,267 [POOLEY GRUNTS] 55 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,728 You're a technician, Mr. Wilson. Makes you weep, eh? 56 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,356 MOODY: Yeah, makes me weep. 57 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,066 POOLEY: No, don't. - It's obsolete. 58 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:41,859 [CRASHING] 59 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,653 HARLEY-BROWN: It is alleged by the prosecution... 60 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,239 ...that the dividend of 15 percent... 61 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:50,701 ...which was declared on the non-voting B shares... 62 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:54,163 ...was indeed fraudulently designed... 63 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:58,084 ...solely to expedite this admittedly bold... 64 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,669 ...but in no way unethical, merger. 65 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:05,174 I say, merger, gentlemen, not takeover. 66 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,343 Words still have meanings... 67 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,678 ...even in our days of the computer. 68 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,639 The question is: 69 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,351 Was my client a party to that fraud? 70 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,189 Innuendo is a method I despise. 71 00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,942 Therefore, I say bluntly... 72 00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:27,571 ...that already, you have heard sufficient to point to the responsibility... 73 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,241 ...and guilt of another party. 74 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,410 A guilty man, gentlemen... 75 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,913 ...whose identity I shall not shrink from establishing... 76 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,792 ...in the course of my presentation of the case for the defense. 77 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,627 Hello, Chas. 78 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:45,548 You be there tomorrow at Number 11 Monk Street. 79 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:50,136 Five thirty on the dot. Do you understand? 80 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,892 Well, son, how was the clientele tonight? 81 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,727 Spot on, Harry, no aggravation. 82 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,230 What about this lawyer guy? Did you get to see him? 83 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,732 That man, I submit, should be standing... 84 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,652 ...where my unfortunate client now stands. 85 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:10,573 - I can rely on that, eh? - It'll be straightened out in the morning. 86 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:15,077 He's a nutcase. Like all artists. But I can rely on him. 87 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:18,164 CHAS: I know my... - Business is business. 88 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,585 And progress is progress. 89 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:26,964 In the fluid state of business ethics, pertaining today... 90 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:31,510 ...we must protect the inalienable right of the smaller businessman... 91 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,222 ...to be conjoined in commercial union... 92 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:40,060 [FILM PROJECTOR WHIRRING] 93 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,690 MAN: You want to turn off the electricity and cut the gas... 94 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,525 CHAS: You're worth it. Come on, Greasy. 95 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,819 MALTESE: Don't you understand? CHAS: Eighty-five pounds. 96 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,781 MALTESE: I've got the new furnace coming in. I already had to pay it. 97 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,242 Mr. Molloy, you bleeding me white. 98 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,828 - You're wasting my time. MALTESE: White as the wall. 99 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,623 Would you like a drink? Huh? You like it with ice or...? 100 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:03,501 You stink. You stinking foreign parasite. 101 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,795 - Excuse me. MALTESE: Shh. Please, my customers. 102 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,427 MALTESE: Theresa, please hold the door. 103 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:18,182 You know, I don't think I'm gonna let you stay in the film business. 104 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,975 MALTESE: Ow! 105 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,481 British justice. 106 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,249 CHAUFFEUR: Here, what the...? 107 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,502 - Ooh. All right, let's keep our hair on, eh? - Why? 108 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,504 - Mr. Fraser? FRASER: Yes? 109 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,673 I've got a message for you. 110 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,591 From an old pal. 111 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:57,263 An old pal and an old partner, who wants you to know, number one... 112 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:01,725 ...that he's ever so upset about all this aggravation you got. 113 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,104 And number two, don't involve old pals. 114 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,273 Not even a little bit. 115 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,608 - You follow me, Mr. F? - If you're an emissary... 116 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,944 ...from Mr. Harold Flowers, it would be most improper for us... 117 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,862 Shh, shh, shh. Don't interrupt. 118 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,198 And no subpoenas for old pals, old mate. 119 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,909 And no snide insinuations in court, neither. 120 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,412 Look here. I'm Mr. Fraser's counsel, and I warn... 121 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,081 I know that. Now shut your hole, Mr. Counsel. 122 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,918 - What did you say? - Do you follow me, Fraser? 123 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,545 - Hole. CHAS: Now let's face it. 124 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,088 They're gonna convict you. 125 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,674 It's better to spend five years of your life... 126 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,134 ...in a nice comfy nick... 127 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,221 ...than the rest of your miserable existence in a filthy wheelchair. 128 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:42,057 - Are you threatening my client? - You bet I am, poncey. 129 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,393 Do you follow me, eh? 130 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,104 Boy? 131 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,983 Hmm. I do. 132 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,613 - Yeah. Good. - Now listen to me. 133 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,407 I must insist you address your remarks to me. 134 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,124 Address my remarks? 135 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,420 Okey-dokey. Why not? 136 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,590 Mr. Butler, we got his address, haven't we? 137 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,177 Why not, Mr. Humphrey? If he insists. 138 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,805 [SNIFFS] 139 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,561 Best of luck, Mr. Fraser. 140 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,813 You don't intimidate me... 141 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,273 - Nor my client. - Shh, shh. 142 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,026 FRASER: George. - Fraser. 143 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,246 - Morning. MAN: Morning. 144 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,129 [CHOKING] 145 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,006 MOODY: Easy. ROSEBLOOM: Good morning, mate. 146 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,510 CHAS: A tasty finish. 147 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,845 A man of taste. 148 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,306 Looks after his property, your owner, does he? 149 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:07,059 CHAUFFEUR: Mm! - Does he? 150 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,163 [HISSING] 151 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,842 We've only got a gallon and a half. 152 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,511 Better not waste it, eh? 153 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,346 Well, next time. 154 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,853 MAN [ON RADIO]: The foreign secretary... 155 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,064 [BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO] 156 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,295 MOODY: Hold up, pal, you'll do yourself a mischief. 157 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,089 [ROSEBLOOM HUMMING] 158 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,011 This takes me back. 159 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,513 Your old man was a barber, wasn't he, Rosie? 160 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,140 No. 161 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:31,310 - No, he wasn't. CHAS: Shut your hole, Moody. 162 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,228 No soap on the gentleman's collar. 163 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,897 ROSEBLOOM: Sorry, sir, it was an accident. 164 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,495 MOODY: Hair today and gone tomorrow. 165 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,331 I said shut your bloody hole! 166 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,167 MOODY: He's a right nut, he is. Isn't he? 167 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:10,390 Now, I want you to mention what's happened here to your owner. 168 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,100 Tell him I'll be in touch. 169 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:17,314 MAN [ON RADIO]: The Mississippi Delta, an area of nearly 13,900 square miles... 170 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,860 Trend-setting, sir, what? 171 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,916 HARRY: I can rely on him. 172 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,544 I can't say more than that, can I? 173 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,462 CHAS: Thanks, Harry. 174 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,300 HARRY: Fourteen thousand quid we offered. 175 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:46,844 I call that equitable. 176 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:50,138 Three grand a week that boy's grossing, or I'm a communist. 177 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,724 - What's this about? - Gordon, what we got in that file? 178 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:57,396 Joey Maddocks, Licensed Betting Office, 469 Fulham Road, acquisition of. 179 00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,231 Plus our letters, sir. 180 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,525 Now, what's all this about Joey Maddocks? 181 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,361 - You steaming into that slag? - Of course not. 182 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,364 He's been invited to join... 183 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,410 ...our associated group of companies, my son. 184 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,997 All he needs, Harry, is a little nudge. 185 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:18,000 I'll nudge him for you, don't you worry about that, pal. 186 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,210 DENNIS: We've been courteous. 187 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,380 Courteous and generous. 188 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,176 He's an old friend of Chas'. 189 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:32,931 Good pals, they was. Like that since they was kids. 190 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,017 Game boy, eh, Chas? 191 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,393 And a blinding left hand. 192 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,021 Bastard. Soon as he come into the poxy business, he... 193 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:43,901 - Now, now, calm down, Chas. - Come on, Harry. You know I'm... 194 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,445 He's a lying slag, he's a grass, and you know it. 195 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,698 Come on, son. Water under the bridge, that is. 196 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,826 CHAS: You know what I mean, Harry. - All right, all right. 197 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,120 Well, tomorrow he learns... 198 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:58,290 ...what's true and what's not. 199 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,086 Like small businesses in this day and age... 200 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,131 ...he's against nature. - Lovely, Harry, I'll learn him. 201 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:07,341 [BLOWS NOSE] 202 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:11,261 No. Rosie's gonna handle this part of nonsense. 203 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,222 I want that shop redecorated tomorrow night. 204 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,016 Get the Brown boys, they like a laugh. 205 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,643 - Mad Cyril? HARRY: Why not? 206 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:18,894 What? 207 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,271 - Pop in, pop out. ROSEBLOOM: Absolutely. 208 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,065 You know what I mean? Be... 209 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,609 Placatory. Of course. 210 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:29,071 - Hold on, Harry. - I like that, Gordon. Turn it up. 211 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,322 [MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO] 212 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,782 DENNIS: You want him to stay on and manage...? 213 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,617 Of course we do. 214 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,286 His name stays over the door if he wants. 215 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,498 - Right under ours. - Let me see to the ponce, Harry. 216 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,000 I'll decorate him and his shop. 217 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,086 Don't you ever listen to a word I say? 218 00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:47,089 Keep personal relations out of business. 219 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,507 - Excuse me, but... - Out! 220 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,716 Aye. 221 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:54,471 Right, your relations with Joey was double-personal. 222 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,139 Right? 223 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,600 Right then. And what's my other thing I say? 224 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,602 My motto? 225 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:08,026 At the death, who is left holding the sodding baby? 226 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,657 No, go on, what else? 227 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,827 Harry Flowers. 228 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,079 Right again. 229 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:32,175 Me. 230 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,430 All right. At ease, gentlemen. 231 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,557 Anyone for a nightcap? 232 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,709 POLICEMAN: We need a signed statement. JOEY: What for? 233 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:50,545 POLICEMAN: Containing your allegations against Mr. Flowers. 234 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,964 - Allegations? POLICEMAN: Allegations. 235 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:56,134 Found it outside. Clean it. Lots of filth around. 236 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,720 JOEY: Yeah, cheers, Steve. Uh, listen... 237 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:03,558 I'm not making actual allegations. 238 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,602 I can't do that. 239 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,563 Well, I mean, I... 240 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:14,069 I got no proof, have I? 241 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:17,656 Looks like you've got a war on your hands, Joey. 242 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,116 JOEY: I'll give a grand... 243 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:24,121 ...if I could get that Mr. Harry "Pervert" Flowers... 244 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,956 ...right here, right now. 245 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,250 I'll give a grand in readies. 246 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,502 Dirty degenerate. 247 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,421 Will I do? 248 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,258 JOEY: What? 249 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:41,096 I'd have rung up first, Joey, but your lines is always busy. 250 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,601 All five of them. 251 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,484 - Let's go. - What do you mean? 252 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,279 Harry Flowers is waiting for you. 253 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:04,202 That geezer, that's the one, isn't it? 254 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,080 - Eh, Joey? - You stay out of this. 255 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:14,421 Hold up, that was him that left with him. 256 00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,132 HARRY: Look at this Vietnam strife. 257 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,967 Down with red tape, eh? 258 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,219 No taxman around here, my son. 259 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,139 JOEY: But, Harry, I'm still a bit worried about my future. 260 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,474 Worried? That I will not allow, my son. 261 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,852 Anyone worries you, you tell me about it. 262 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,897 You're on the firm now, Joey. One of me own. 263 00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:35,567 United we stand, divided we're lumbered. 264 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:38,320 Took over? No, Joey. 265 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,363 The word is "merged." 266 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,616 You was merged, my son. To old England. 267 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:43,867 [WOMAN LAUGHS] 268 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,995 Jack, tell Chas to come over and have one with us, eh? 269 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,664 - Yeah, sure, Harry. - Harry, that shop... 270 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,250 - Exactly. - Listen, no, it's my whole life, Harry. 271 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,546 Exactly, Joey. Mine too. Mine too. 272 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,381 Speaking of which, Dennis... 273 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,218 ...I'm not at all happy about the tactless manner... 274 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,678 ...which Joey was brought here in. 275 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:07,015 Chas, I told you not to bother Mr. Maddocks, didn't I? 276 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:08,433 A whiskey, please, Dave. 277 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:11,061 - Right away, Chas. - Oh, was I tactless? 278 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:15,523 Making him say that thing about his poor dead father? My God. 279 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,944 - Let's take this chat upstairs, shall we? - Who do you think you are? 280 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,195 The Lone Ranger? 281 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:23,573 - I know who I am, Harry. HARRY: Of course you do, son. 282 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:26,451 You're Jack the Lad. 283 00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,787 I've known a few performers in my time. 284 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:32,082 But I tell you this, he's got the gift, boy. 285 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,961 - Right, Denny? - He enjoys his work. 286 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,965 - That's the half of it. - Do you think he does, Denny? 287 00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:43,843 - Oh, I do. I get a load of kicks out of it. - Which can be a good thing, Chas. 288 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,345 CHAS: Putting a little stick about. 289 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,056 Putting the frighteners on flash little twerps. 290 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:53,561 But it can also be a tricky thing. And I'll tell you why. 291 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:57,732 Because you can get to enjoy your work too much, my son. 292 00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,610 And it can slip your mind that... 293 00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:03,905 ...you're bloody working for me, you berk! 294 00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:08,034 And when I say me, I mean... Tell him what I mean, Jack. 295 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,370 - You mean, um, you, Harry. - No. 296 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:11,913 - The business. - The business. 297 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:13,915 - That's what he means. - Correct him one. 298 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,917 DENNIS: In which you're a cog, boy. 299 00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:18,086 A cog in an organ. 300 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:21,589 - Go to hell, Dennis. I know what I am. - It's the business of business... 301 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,133 ...to push the buttons. 302 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,137 And I'm alive and well. 303 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:31,850 You push the buttons on that thing. 304 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,769 Right. We push them. Us. 305 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:38,606 This terrific democratic organization. Right, Joey? 306 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:41,067 - Right, Harry. - Same again. All around, Dave. 307 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:44,279 - Let me do this one, Harry. - The world's a dodgy place, my friends. 308 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,948 I can't help that. But we've got progress. 309 00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:48,283 Look at the Yanks. 310 00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,535 - The New World. - Organization. 311 00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,495 Listen, Chas... 312 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,833 [CHATTERING] 313 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,635 That boy's in bother. 314 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:09,137 Up here. 315 00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:11,681 He's an ignorant boy. 316 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,601 An out-of-date boy. 317 00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:38,583 [YELLING] 318 00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:43,922 CHAS: Let go. 319 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:47,842 STEVE: Get it. Get it. 320 00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:50,887 [GRUNTING] 321 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,267 STEVE: Come on, Joey. 322 00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:07,570 STEVE: Come on, you slick... 323 00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:14,619 JOEY: Hold his arms now. That's it. Hold him. 324 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,503 JOEY: Go on then. 325 00:24:26,257 --> 00:24:29,259 STEVE: Come on, Brien. Give us a hand over here. 326 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,187 Shall I...? Shall I decorate him, eh, Joey? 327 00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:43,940 No. No. I'm not one of those. 328 00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:46,484 I'm not him. 329 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:47,735 [CHAS GRUNTS] 330 00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:50,113 CHAS: You love that, don't you? - You little twerp. 331 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,199 You vicious little twerp! 332 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:55,827 Say it! 333 00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:06,171 Say it. 334 00:25:07,465 --> 00:25:09,132 Come on! Say it! 335 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,012 [CHAS GRUNTS] 336 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,771 Chas, say it. 337 00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:27,775 I am... 338 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,569 Yes! 339 00:25:34,909 --> 00:25:36,659 He's out, Joey. 340 00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:38,995 Get some water. Water. 341 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:52,717 - Give him the kiss of life, Joey. - You shut your filthy mouth! 342 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:55,595 [JOEY YELLING] 343 00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:06,981 [GRUNTING] 344 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,120 Chas. 345 00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:24,165 Look. 346 00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:26,751 Chas. 347 00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:32,549 You remember me, Chas. 348 00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:34,509 We... 349 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,553 Listen, look... 350 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,516 Do you remember Mick? 351 00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:43,476 Remember? 352 00:26:44,061 --> 00:26:48,690 Chas, what's the point... 353 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:51,693 ...of this? 354 00:26:56,323 --> 00:27:00,618 You can't do that. 355 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,246 I am a bullet. 356 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:17,677 [JOEY CHOKING] 357 00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:21,598 Oh, God, my chest hurts. 358 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,352 Look what you've done. 359 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,567 Help me. 360 00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:42,869 You're dead, Joey. 361 00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,622 You can stay... 362 00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:48,082 ...yesterday... 363 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,419 ...until... 364 00:27:51,629 --> 00:27:54,339 ...tomorrow. 365 00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:59,052 [WATER RUNNING] 366 00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,521 CHAS: Get out of my flat. 367 00:28:20,991 --> 00:28:22,116 [DOOR CLOSES] 368 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:30,750 POLICEMAN: Hey, you! 369 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:31,959 [WHISTLES] 370 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:33,795 Just a minute. 371 00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:51,312 POLICEMAN: Don't you bloody move. 372 00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:03,199 [PHONE RINGING] 373 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,140 Harry, I won't mince words. 374 00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,850 You're more than involved. 375 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:30,977 You're incriminated. Look at the facts. 376 00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,186 DENNIS: The facts. - One... 377 00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:34,564 I'll tell you the facts. Business facts. 378 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,692 Soon as they pick up Devlin, they'll be all over us, my friends. 379 00:29:37,901 --> 00:29:42,697 Press, taxman, copper, the lot. You know what they're gonna call us? 380 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:46,242 They'll call us gangsters. 381 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:49,912 - It'll be goodbye to business. - We'll be as popular as Hitler. 382 00:29:50,372 --> 00:29:53,916 I know you would, pal. I know. 383 00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:57,628 Well, I just don't know anywhere, mate. But honestly... 384 00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,882 HARRY: Where is he? ROSEBLOOM: We're looking, Harry. 385 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:04,552 Six figures a year, we're into. Six figures. 386 00:30:04,762 --> 00:30:07,597 And now this little bastard... 387 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:10,308 He's put us in the stuck. 388 00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:13,603 Pity he exists. 389 00:30:18,609 --> 00:30:22,111 I never sent him. It was me told him not to go. 390 00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:25,531 Don't get your personal relations mixed up in my business. 391 00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:28,951 - I told him. - Told him? Oh, that's a joke. 392 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,704 Like telling a mad dog who to bite, that is. 393 00:30:31,914 --> 00:30:33,915 I was bitten by a dog once. 394 00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:35,750 When I was a kid. 395 00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:39,670 - It was a wirehaired terrier. HARRISON: Harry, I'm your legal adviser. 396 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,507 You could be charged with conspiracy to murder. 397 00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:43,841 [PHONE RINGING] 398 00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:52,391 Hello? 399 00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:54,602 CHAS [ON PHONE]: Hello? Can I speak to Mr. Flowers? 400 00:30:54,812 --> 00:30:56,938 - Hello, Chas. CHAS [ON PHONE]: Is Harry there? 401 00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:59,273 HARRISON: Yes, Chas, of course he's here. 402 00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:02,151 Harry, it's Chas. 403 00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:11,536 HARRY: Hello, Chas. Are you hurt bad? 404 00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:14,497 Not too bad. You know already, eh? 405 00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:16,499 It was just, uh... 406 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:19,001 Just an accident. 407 00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:21,671 Harry, I've gotta get off the street. 408 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,798 HARRY: Yes, Chas. 409 00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:25,967 Yes, all right. 410 00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:29,303 We'll try to work something out. 411 00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:33,057 Harry, you know I'd never lumber you. 412 00:31:33,267 --> 00:31:35,810 It's down to me this aggravation, but I've gotta get in. 413 00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:37,854 HARRY: Where are you? 414 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:42,066 Chas, hold on a minute. 415 00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:48,948 He's at Wandsworth Bridge Road. 416 00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:51,409 Moody? 417 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:53,411 What? 418 00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,622 What would you do, Moody? 419 00:31:56,832 --> 00:31:58,040 MOODY: Me? 420 00:31:58,625 --> 00:32:00,167 With a mad dog, Moody? 421 00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:06,924 When a poor sick animal is liable to bite you? 422 00:32:08,385 --> 00:32:09,635 Bite me? 423 00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:12,847 Without meaning to. 424 00:32:13,307 --> 00:32:14,849 I'd put him to sleep, Dennis. 425 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,437 [WHISTLING] 426 00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:27,945 Harry? Hello? 427 00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,286 Hello? 428 00:32:36,747 --> 00:32:39,373 Hello? Harry? 429 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:57,767 I don't need the details, my son. Off you... Off you go. 430 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,937 I can rely on him. I can't say more, can I? 431 00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:03,189 He's an artist, eh? 432 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:06,734 My bath's running. 433 00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:16,679 CHAS: I can't explain now, Mom, but it's as bad as can be. Now listen... 434 00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:18,305 WOMAN [ON PHONE]: But, Charlie... - Now listen, Mom. 435 00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:20,933 - But where are you, Charlie? - I must go away. 436 00:34:21,143 --> 00:34:23,227 Now. Right away. 437 00:34:23,437 --> 00:34:24,478 I might go to Aunt Mary. 438 00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:26,772 - Your Aunt Mary? - Down in Devon. 439 00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,649 Yes, go there. 440 00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:31,110 They won't know of her. Not down in Barnstaple. 441 00:34:31,528 --> 00:34:33,404 - Right. - Now, behave yourself, mind. 442 00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:34,822 Yeah. 443 00:34:35,032 --> 00:34:37,616 - Give her my love, won't you? - Okay, thanks. 444 00:34:37,826 --> 00:34:39,285 - Ta-ta, Mom. - Bye, Charlie. 445 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:46,208 CHAS: I said Barnstaple, not Exeter. 446 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:50,504 CLERK: I said change at Exeter, mate. Seven twenty-two. Platform four. 447 00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:53,007 Gets in at 10 past. 448 00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,579 One and 10 for sandwich, love. 449 00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:25,372 - Hello, Ma. WOMAN: Noel. 450 00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:27,625 Thanks, Ma. You're a darling. 451 00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:33,839 NOEL: He said, "You call that rock 'n' roll?" 452 00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:37,259 I said, "That's the sound, Mr. Payne. That's what I'm selling you, man." 453 00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:41,013 He said, "My God, that's a black sound. It's four times blacker than you." 454 00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:42,723 Liverpool. Tsk. 455 00:35:42,933 --> 00:35:45,893 NOEL: So I said, "Cool it, man. Cool it. It's a bad sound." 456 00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:47,895 WOMAN: I'll tell you who comes from Liverpool. 457 00:35:48,105 --> 00:35:49,855 - Mary Tinkling. - "I'll buy it," he says. 458 00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:53,025 - "You got a gig for six weeks." - He's a shrewd one, is that. 459 00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:55,569 So Mr. Turner's gonna sublet your room then, is he? 460 00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:58,739 NOEL: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. 461 00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:00,324 I told him. 462 00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:03,869 I said, "Turner, you are my landlord... 463 00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:07,873 ...to which I owe 41 pound back rent... 464 00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:11,627 ...which I will send to you from Liverpool pretty soon." 465 00:36:12,045 --> 00:36:15,548 He said, "Yeah?" So I said, "Listen. Listen, baby. 466 00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:16,924 All my things. 467 00:36:17,134 --> 00:36:20,594 All my gear, all my sounds, my big horn. Everything. 468 00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,388 My whole life stays right here... 469 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:26,600 ...at 81 Powis Square in this little basement room." 470 00:36:27,102 --> 00:36:30,020 He says, "Okay, my son, go." 471 00:36:30,564 --> 00:36:32,690 I should try to find a cool subtenant... 472 00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:34,984 ...who has respect for another person's life. 473 00:36:35,277 --> 00:36:37,945 WOMAN: That Turner, drug addict. 474 00:36:38,155 --> 00:36:40,948 NOEL: Come on, Mom. He's just like... - He's peculiar. 475 00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:44,535 He's peculiar. He's a hermit. 476 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:47,997 He can't face reality. That's what it is. 477 00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,331 [NOEL CHUCKLES] 478 00:36:49,583 --> 00:36:51,458 A world of their own, these kids. 479 00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:05,598 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. 480 00:37:49,476 --> 00:38:06,700 [RINGS] 481 00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:13,540 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: This is a recording. Speak now what you want. 482 00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:14,875 [WOMAN BLOWS A RASPBERRY] 483 00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:16,502 Hello, is Mr. Turner there? 484 00:38:16,711 --> 00:38:18,545 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Speak on the third peep. 485 00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:21,507 - Peep. Peep. Peep. - Oh, uh... 486 00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:24,551 Uh, I'm a... I'm a friend of Noel's. 487 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:26,011 An old friend. 488 00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:27,263 It's about the room. 489 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,556 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: So... - The basement room. 490 00:38:29,766 --> 00:38:31,058 I've just seen him off actually. 491 00:38:31,351 --> 00:38:33,143 Me and his mom. 492 00:38:34,187 --> 00:38:37,064 Oh, good morning. Are you there? I'm a bit on the early side. 493 00:38:37,274 --> 00:38:39,566 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: You've got the wrong house, mister. 494 00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:42,486 - Fruit off. - No, listen. 495 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:44,947 - I've got it right here. - Right where? 496 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:48,450 - The back rent. It's 41 pound, right? - Mm. 497 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:52,288 He said, "Just settle up with Mr. Turner and the room's yours, pal." 498 00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:54,039 - Stroke of luck, eh? - You think so? 499 00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,292 CHAS: I'm in the entertainment business. You know... 500 00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:59,169 ...show business. And I saw Noel at the railway... 501 00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:00,754 Hello? Hello? 502 00:39:01,381 --> 00:39:03,799 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Oh, yes, yes. Is that you? 503 00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:06,510 - Yes. - The basement room, in the basement. 504 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,220 That's it, dear. That's it. Yeah. 505 00:39:08,430 --> 00:39:10,556 - Down the back stairs. - Yeah. 506 00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:11,890 [BUZZER SOUNDS] 507 00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:15,102 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Push! 508 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,271 Do it again a bit longer. 509 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,356 [BUZZER SOUNDS] 510 00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,107 [BANGING] 511 00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:16,413 - Hello. - I didn't recognize your voice. 512 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:17,998 CHAS: No? PHERBER: No. 513 00:40:18,208 --> 00:40:20,000 Oh, no. I've been away, haven't I? 514 00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:23,003 And I don't recognize your face. 515 00:40:23,213 --> 00:40:24,838 My face? 516 00:40:25,882 --> 00:40:27,091 Oh, uh... 517 00:40:27,384 --> 00:40:28,842 Well, you should see the motor. 518 00:40:29,052 --> 00:40:31,345 PHERBER: See the what? - My motor. 519 00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:35,057 We had a little argument with a cement wall on the way up from Dover. 520 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:37,393 Goodbye, the Ferrari. 521 00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:41,939 It's down here, right? 522 00:40:42,524 --> 00:40:44,066 First left I think he said. 523 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,151 Oh, my mistake. 524 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,032 PHERBER: Goodbye, the Rolls Royce. 525 00:40:52,242 --> 00:40:54,118 I know what you mean. 526 00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:57,663 Look after my gear, pal. My big horn. 527 00:40:57,872 --> 00:41:00,124 CHAS: Yeah, there I was just back from the continent... 528 00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:02,918 ...from a continental tour and this had to happen. 529 00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:05,712 Oh, very nice. 530 00:41:07,257 --> 00:41:09,466 It's characteristic. 531 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:11,301 I'll take it. 532 00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:15,556 Uh-huh. 533 00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:18,559 Dean's the name. Johnny Dean. 534 00:41:20,770 --> 00:41:21,937 Look, regards from Noel. 535 00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:23,939 I got 41 pounds for you. 536 00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:25,357 I owe it to him actually... 537 00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:28,110 ...but that's another story, and I won't bore you with it. 538 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:32,364 So, uh, a week in advance will be, uh... 539 00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:33,824 Sixty-six pounds. 540 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:35,784 - Sixty-six pounds. - Plus... 541 00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:38,745 ...one week deposit on the fittings and the fixtures... 542 00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:42,583 ...plus, I should have a banker's reference. 543 00:41:42,792 --> 00:41:45,252 Listen, uh, that's, uh... 544 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,463 Extortionate? 545 00:41:49,132 --> 00:41:53,302 - Of course. - Uh, well, uh, I'd say that was... 546 00:41:54,888 --> 00:41:57,806 - One hundred and thirty-two pounds. - Oh. 547 00:42:04,147 --> 00:42:05,814 How do you entertain? 548 00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:07,441 [YAWNS] 549 00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:11,487 - I juggle. - Juggle? 550 00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:14,865 Juggle, juggle. I've got a load of bookings here in London. 551 00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:16,325 They're all A-one venues. 552 00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:21,497 - No luck, have I? - No. 553 00:42:27,462 --> 00:42:29,546 [CHATTERING] 554 00:42:42,435 --> 00:42:44,478 LORRAINE: Hey, Mom, when's Christmas? 555 00:42:49,234 --> 00:42:50,943 [SINGING] 556 00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:06,208 [CAMERA WHIRRING] 557 00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,674 Goodbye, the Ferrari. 558 00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,300 [LAUGHS] 559 00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:51,753 [CAMERA CLICKS] 560 00:43:53,423 --> 00:43:55,841 [CAMERA WHIRRING] 561 00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:57,968 [WHIRRING STOPS] 562 00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:08,478 [CAMERA CLICKS] 563 00:46:30,538 --> 00:46:33,081 [LORRAINE SINGING "ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS"] 564 00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:40,213 You're pissed. 565 00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:46,386 - Hey. - Oh! You've had one over the eight. 566 00:46:47,764 --> 00:46:49,097 No, I haven't. 567 00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:50,557 I'm the new lodger. 568 00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:52,476 Do you want an aspirin? 569 00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:55,228 - Want a cup of tea? - Yeah, that'll be lovely. 570 00:46:55,521 --> 00:46:57,439 - Have you got some turps? - Turps? 571 00:46:58,274 --> 00:47:01,735 - Do you wanna earn a bob? - Two bob, mate. 572 00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,196 All right. 573 00:47:04,405 --> 00:47:06,782 Go and buy me a bottle of turpentine. 574 00:47:06,991 --> 00:47:08,492 Five bob, mate. 575 00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:12,662 Half a dollar. 576 00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:15,707 Okay. 577 00:47:18,961 --> 00:47:21,588 LUCY: So I say to this guy at the office: 578 00:47:21,798 --> 00:47:23,965 "Why are you so mean?" 579 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:27,886 - And he just say, "Your visa is finished." TURNER: Please. 580 00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:31,556 LUCY: "And... And you're... You're not in a place of learning, right?" 581 00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:33,433 Right. 582 00:47:33,643 --> 00:47:35,268 LUCY: "And you've got... 583 00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:38,438 And you've got to get out of the British Kingdom... 584 00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:40,315 ...and to go back to France." 585 00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:42,400 That's really insanity. 586 00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:44,778 You poor little thing. 587 00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:46,446 When was all this? 588 00:47:46,656 --> 00:47:50,242 I don't know. Last week I think it was. 589 00:47:50,451 --> 00:47:51,660 Last month. 590 00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,036 So I say: 591 00:47:53,246 --> 00:47:55,247 "Pherber is teaching me English, you know... 592 00:47:55,456 --> 00:47:57,916 ...and that his boyfriend is learning me his books... 593 00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:00,460 ...and everything... My magic stories!" 594 00:48:03,339 --> 00:48:04,965 First thing in the bloody morning. 595 00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:08,760 LUCY: And then he asks me, "Where are you living?" 596 00:48:08,970 --> 00:48:11,805 - I say, "I don't remember." - I've got a crippled tap dancer... 597 00:48:12,014 --> 00:48:13,181 ...in my bloody basement. 598 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:16,434 LUCY: He said, "This is very illegal." - Yeah, he said that. 599 00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:19,479 So I said, "The Hilton Hotel." 600 00:48:19,689 --> 00:48:22,148 TURNER: Listen, I don't want any more bums in my basement. 601 00:48:22,358 --> 00:48:23,525 A juggler, madam. 602 00:48:23,734 --> 00:48:25,068 TURNER: I don't want her. - Juggler. 603 00:48:25,278 --> 00:48:26,945 - I don't want her. - You'd love her. 604 00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:29,364 Yeah, you might like her. 605 00:48:29,782 --> 00:48:30,991 You'd love him. 606 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:33,285 Do you think I should wash my hair? 607 00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,537 - Mm-mm. No. LUCY: And he said: 608 00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:37,163 "You juvenile in moral danger." 609 00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:40,041 TURNER: Go on. - "And you're not desirable." 610 00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:41,626 [PHERBER GIGGLING] 611 00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:47,173 So I said, "You stupid shit." 612 00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:50,176 And I spit and I ran away. 613 00:48:50,887 --> 00:48:53,847 TURNER: Well, just when I got my skull completely empty. 614 00:48:54,056 --> 00:48:55,557 Shower? 615 00:49:02,064 --> 00:49:04,190 PHERBER: Plus banker's deposit. 616 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,027 Plus money for fixtures and fittings. 617 00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:08,403 LUCY: So I didn't get my visa. 618 00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:11,197 PHERBER: Plus references for one week. 619 00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:13,783 LUCY: Well, I'm not worried. - Plus one week on account... 620 00:49:13,993 --> 00:49:17,078 ...that makes 167 pounds. 621 00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:19,873 Here, give it to me. I'll do it. I'll do it. 622 00:49:20,416 --> 00:49:24,044 LUCY: Oh, they'll never find me. PHERBER: There you are. Beautiful. 623 00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:25,921 [GIGGLES] 624 00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:29,257 - I'm not worried. - Nope, you shouldn't worry. 625 00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:32,302 Anyone want a cup of tea? 626 00:49:32,511 --> 00:49:35,138 LUCY: Where's my porridge, Lorraine? 627 00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:38,266 Tony! Your uncle for you! 628 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:41,436 Put them over there, mate. 629 00:49:44,941 --> 00:49:46,399 Oh, yeah. 630 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,736 - Chas? - What's happening in the outside world? 631 00:49:49,946 --> 00:49:52,322 TONY [ON PHONE]: Ain't you seen the papers yet, mate? 632 00:49:52,657 --> 00:49:56,117 - No, I haven't bothered. - They've really gone to town on you, son. 633 00:49:56,327 --> 00:49:58,203 - You are the front page. - Oh, yeah? 634 00:49:58,663 --> 00:50:01,456 - What else? - Well, I've had the filth. 635 00:50:01,666 --> 00:50:04,334 And I've had the firm. Well, the law, that was nothing. 636 00:50:04,543 --> 00:50:07,170 But your friend, Rosybloom, he's funny, isn't he? 637 00:50:07,380 --> 00:50:09,255 - No aggravation? - No, no. 638 00:50:09,507 --> 00:50:11,132 But stand on me, uncle. 639 00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,760 It weren't your welfare he was on about. 640 00:50:13,970 --> 00:50:15,637 PHERBER: Actually... 641 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:21,101 ...he's obviously very, very deeply involved with Noel. 642 00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:26,272 I don't want any invalid... 643 00:50:26,482 --> 00:50:31,111 ...washed-up cabaret artists in my beautiful basement, sir. 644 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:33,363 Tony, I'm getting out. 645 00:50:33,572 --> 00:50:35,448 Out of the country. 646 00:50:36,158 --> 00:50:38,076 TONY [ON PHONE]: Out of the country? 647 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:41,413 Now listen, Tone. 648 00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:43,873 I'm gonna tell you where I keep my rainy-day money. 649 00:50:46,961 --> 00:50:49,963 TURNER: You shoot too much of that shit, Pherber. 650 00:50:51,924 --> 00:50:56,344 Too much vitamin B12 has never hurt anybody. 651 00:50:56,846 --> 00:50:58,304 Behind the boiler, you mean? 652 00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:00,181 CHAS [ON PHONE]: Well behind. Persevere. 653 00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:02,308 There's two grand in that bag, Tone. 654 00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:05,687 First off, I want you to nick a drink for yourself. Five hundred quid. 655 00:51:07,314 --> 00:51:08,565 You're a gentleman, Chas. 656 00:51:08,774 --> 00:51:09,983 No, I want you to have it. 657 00:51:10,192 --> 00:51:11,359 You and Marge. 658 00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:13,111 Now second off... 659 00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,405 ...I've gotta get a passport. 660 00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:17,741 There's a geezer... Have you got a pencil? 661 00:51:17,950 --> 00:51:20,285 Cypriot geezer. His name is Thanopoulos. 662 00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,246 Hey, Johnny, Mom says do you want an egg? 663 00:51:23,456 --> 00:51:25,832 CHAS: You got that, Tone? Goodbye. 664 00:51:26,042 --> 00:51:28,668 LORRAINE: And Turner says will you come up and see him, please. 665 00:51:28,878 --> 00:51:31,838 All right, Lorrie. I'll be up. 666 00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:36,926 - What a freak show. - Where are you then? 667 00:51:37,219 --> 00:51:38,511 Oh, you know, on the left. 668 00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,930 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - I'll tell you this, Tony. 669 00:51:41,557 --> 00:51:43,558 It's a right pisshole. 670 00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:45,935 Long hair... 671 00:51:46,145 --> 00:51:47,437 ...beatniks... 672 00:51:47,646 --> 00:51:49,689 ...druggers, free love... 673 00:51:50,149 --> 00:51:51,858 ...foreigners, you name it. 674 00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:54,861 But I'm not bothered, Tone. I'm well in. 675 00:51:55,071 --> 00:51:57,197 And you couldn't find a better hidey-hole. 676 00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:11,127 In you go, Dad. 677 00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,175 [DOOR CLOSES] 678 00:53:37,798 --> 00:53:39,174 CHAS: Afternoon, Mr. Turner. 679 00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:42,260 Good afternoon, Mr., uh... 680 00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:46,514 There's been a mistake. 681 00:53:46,891 --> 00:53:48,850 You can't have the room. 682 00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:50,268 CHAS: What? 683 00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:52,353 It's not for rent. 684 00:53:53,689 --> 00:53:55,315 CHAS: Wait a minute. The lady just said... 685 00:53:55,524 --> 00:53:58,276 TURNER: The lady said? 686 00:53:59,111 --> 00:54:01,279 I don't tell her everything. 687 00:54:01,488 --> 00:54:03,656 She's my secretary. 688 00:54:04,074 --> 00:54:06,409 I got a lot of work to do. 689 00:54:07,036 --> 00:54:09,162 Under a lot of pressure. 690 00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:12,332 Here. 691 00:54:12,541 --> 00:54:14,250 No, I don't want it. 692 00:54:16,045 --> 00:54:17,837 TURNER: That carpet's 200 years old. 693 00:54:18,047 --> 00:54:19,422 It looks it. 694 00:54:19,632 --> 00:54:20,924 A valuable antique, is it? 695 00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:29,766 Listen, I got to say goodbye now. 696 00:54:29,975 --> 00:54:32,477 Mr. Turner, I've got all my luggage, my stage gear... 697 00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:35,104 ...it's all coming here from the continent. 698 00:54:35,564 --> 00:54:37,023 TURNER: Your what? 699 00:54:37,233 --> 00:54:41,069 My luggage. My juggling, you know, stuff. 700 00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:43,613 Why don't you go to a hotel? 701 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:47,158 A hotel? You must be joking. 702 00:54:47,368 --> 00:54:50,411 Look, I need a... 703 00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:53,164 I need a bohemian atmosphere. 704 00:54:53,374 --> 00:54:56,793 I'm an artist, Mr. Turner. 705 00:54:57,544 --> 00:54:59,254 Like yourself. 706 00:55:01,090 --> 00:55:04,384 - You juggle? - Why not? 707 00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:07,887 Why, why not? Why not a jongleur? 708 00:55:08,097 --> 00:55:10,682 It's the third oldest profession. 709 00:55:10,891 --> 00:55:14,435 You're a performer of natural magic. 710 00:55:14,687 --> 00:55:17,563 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 711 00:55:17,773 --> 00:55:19,607 I... I perform. 712 00:55:19,942 --> 00:55:21,734 I bet you do. 713 00:55:21,944 --> 00:55:24,570 I can tell by your vibrations... 714 00:55:24,780 --> 00:55:27,115 ...you're the anti-gravity man! 715 00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:30,952 Amateur night at the Apollo. 716 00:55:32,288 --> 00:55:33,913 Cheops in his bloody pyramid. 717 00:55:34,790 --> 00:55:37,250 He dug a juggler or two, didn't he? Remember? 718 00:55:43,299 --> 00:55:45,258 And the tetrarchs of Sodom... 719 00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:47,260 ...and Orbis Tertius. 720 00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:49,887 Am I right? Am I right, babe? 721 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:51,639 More or less. 722 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:54,350 Personally, I just, you know... 723 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,436 ...perform. 724 00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:59,480 Oh, you're a modest chap. 725 00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:07,238 Because after all, there was only one. Only one. 726 00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:09,574 - Only one what? - And right you are. 727 00:56:09,783 --> 00:56:11,200 Enrico Rastelli. 728 00:56:11,410 --> 00:56:14,912 - You said it all, pal. - Juggler to the King of Tuscany. 729 00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:16,289 CHAS: Now, about the room... 730 00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:17,790 TURNER: Fourteen balls. 731 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,293 How about just on a... On a nightly basis? 732 00:56:20,502 --> 00:56:22,086 Right. On a nightly basis. 733 00:56:22,296 --> 00:56:24,339 On a horse. 734 00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:26,507 And blindfold. 735 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:28,968 Talk about a performer. 736 00:56:29,178 --> 00:56:32,972 Of course, I'm not telling you anything you don't know, am I, old man? 737 00:56:34,683 --> 00:56:37,643 You can't stay here, old man. 738 00:56:40,814 --> 00:56:42,648 Not in the mood? 739 00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:47,779 Why don't you play us a tune, pal? 740 00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:52,367 I don't like music. 741 00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:54,827 Comical little geezer. 742 00:56:55,037 --> 00:56:57,497 You'll look funny when you're 50. 743 00:56:58,624 --> 00:57:00,917 You'll have to go. 744 00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:04,337 You wouldn't like it here. 745 00:57:05,714 --> 00:57:07,090 Not like it? 746 00:57:07,299 --> 00:57:09,342 That charming little basement suite? 747 00:57:09,551 --> 00:57:11,052 I paid for it. 748 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:12,970 I love it. 749 00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:16,516 No. 750 00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:19,185 You wouldn't fit in here. 751 00:57:19,395 --> 00:57:20,812 I would. 752 00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:23,272 I'm determined to fit in. 753 00:57:24,066 --> 00:57:26,901 I've got to fit in, Mr. Turner. 754 00:57:31,990 --> 00:57:33,199 I see. 755 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,451 It's that bad, eh? 756 00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:39,664 I wonder, Mr. Dean... 757 00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:43,209 ...if you were me, what would you do? 758 00:57:45,546 --> 00:57:46,838 I don't know. 759 00:57:47,047 --> 00:57:48,214 It depends. 760 00:57:48,424 --> 00:57:50,216 It depends who you are. 761 00:57:50,426 --> 00:57:51,884 Which I don't know. 762 00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:54,887 Who I am? Do you know who you are? 763 00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:57,640 - Eh? - Yes. 764 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,979 TURNER: Well, that simplifies matters. 765 00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:04,647 You can stay. 766 00:58:05,524 --> 00:58:07,483 On a daily basis. 767 00:58:07,693 --> 00:58:10,445 Yesterday till tomorrow, all right? 768 00:58:16,577 --> 00:58:17,577 Thanks. 769 01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,765 CHAS: He wasn't that big. 770 01:00:02,975 --> 01:00:04,350 I remember him quite well. 771 01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,644 He was and all. 772 01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:08,980 He was world-famous. 773 01:00:09,189 --> 01:00:11,857 Well, when I was a nipper he was chart-buster. 774 01:00:12,067 --> 01:00:14,527 They come and they go. Pop stars. 775 01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:15,945 He had a following. 776 01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,697 I never fancied his stuff, myself. 777 01:00:17,906 --> 01:00:19,198 LORRAINE: I fancied him. 778 01:00:19,408 --> 01:00:20,783 Old rubber lips. 779 01:00:20,993 --> 01:00:22,243 He had three number one's... 780 01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:24,495 ...and two number two's and a number four. 781 01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:27,915 Hmm. Fetch that tea over here, Lorrie. 782 01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:33,045 Didn't last though, did it, his success? 783 01:00:33,255 --> 01:00:36,716 - Well, he retired, didn't he? - Oh, did he? 784 01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:38,718 So, what's he do now then? 785 01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:42,138 He stays... He stays here. He's writing a book and some music. 786 01:00:42,347 --> 01:00:44,140 Oh, yeah? Is that why he's got a secretary? 787 01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:45,766 Huh? 788 01:00:46,018 --> 01:00:48,894 That foreign bird, you know, not the skinny one, the other one. 789 01:00:49,104 --> 01:00:51,731 Pherber? Pherber's his lover, mate. 790 01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:54,984 She cohabits with him since years and years. 791 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:58,154 - Their love story's famous. - Oh, yeah? 792 01:00:58,447 --> 01:01:00,406 Yeah, you don't know nothing, do you, Dad? 793 01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:06,787 - When's Mom coming? - Tonight. 794 01:01:09,333 --> 01:01:10,958 That won't fit in, honey. 795 01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:13,085 Look, it's all holes. 796 01:01:13,295 --> 01:01:14,920 That won't fit in. 797 01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:19,133 I know. I know how to do it. Come on, I know. Here it is. 798 01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:21,677 PHERBER: Look, this is the one. 799 01:01:21,887 --> 01:01:23,262 LUCY: You're getting fat, Lorraine. 800 01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:25,181 Beans make you fat. 801 01:01:25,641 --> 01:01:27,642 LORRAINE: I'm sick of beans. 802 01:01:28,685 --> 01:01:31,020 I don't really like that guy. 803 01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:32,813 I think he's horrible. 804 01:01:33,190 --> 01:01:36,359 You don't really like him, do you? 805 01:01:37,486 --> 01:01:40,488 - What do you want...? - I don't want anything! 806 01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:43,532 I just let things happen! 807 01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:45,409 Why did Turner let him stay? 808 01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:50,790 - He changed his mind. - Why? 809 01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:53,751 Why did he let him stay? Why? 810 01:01:57,214 --> 01:01:58,547 HOUSEKEEPER: Mr. Dean? - Hmm? 811 01:01:58,757 --> 01:02:01,300 HOUSEKEEPER: Would you like me to do your room now? 812 01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:02,802 Oh, hello, Mrs. Gibbs. 813 01:02:03,011 --> 01:02:04,261 No, thanks, dear. No. 814 01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:05,638 Tomorrow will be fine. 815 01:02:05,847 --> 01:02:08,265 Thanks a lot, love. Thank you. 816 01:02:08,892 --> 01:02:12,019 TURNER: "At this point, something unforeseeable occurred. 817 01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:15,147 From a corner of the room, the old ecstatic gaucho... 818 01:02:15,357 --> 01:02:18,484 ...threw him a naked dagger which landed at his feet. 819 01:02:19,277 --> 01:02:21,654 Dalman bent over to pick it up. 820 01:02:21,863 --> 01:02:24,532 'They would not have allowed such things to happen to me... 821 01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:27,076 ...in the sanitarium,' he thought. 822 01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:28,911 And he felt two things. 823 01:02:29,121 --> 01:02:31,122 - The first..." - Yes. 824 01:02:31,331 --> 01:02:33,290 I know why. 825 01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:35,334 - Yeah? - Yes. 826 01:02:35,544 --> 01:02:36,669 Ow! 827 01:02:37,713 --> 01:02:39,296 LUCY: What is it? TURNER: I got a fly. 828 01:02:39,506 --> 01:02:40,756 [FLY BUZZING] 829 01:02:40,966 --> 01:02:41,966 A fly? 830 01:02:43,135 --> 01:02:45,010 TURNER: In my eye. 831 01:02:48,056 --> 01:02:50,933 - Why? - Because you're afraid of him. 832 01:02:51,143 --> 01:02:53,269 Yes, right. 833 01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:55,020 Right. 834 01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:56,272 [CHUCKLES THEN SNIFFS] 835 01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:58,065 And he's afraid too. 836 01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:00,651 Of you? 837 01:03:06,700 --> 01:03:08,576 MAN: Blower for you, Tony. 838 01:03:10,454 --> 01:03:12,163 TONY [ON PHONE]: Hello, uncle. How are you? 839 01:03:12,372 --> 01:03:13,414 Not bad, Tony. 840 01:03:13,874 --> 01:03:16,250 Uh, listen, uh, I saw Thanopoulos. 841 01:03:16,460 --> 01:03:18,127 He said, "Okay, yeah." 842 01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:20,296 He can get you on a freighter. 843 01:03:20,505 --> 01:03:22,381 Direct to the big city, New York. 844 01:03:22,674 --> 01:03:23,966 Yeah, it'll cost you though. 845 01:03:24,176 --> 01:03:27,970 This includes seaman's papers, passport, graft to the skipper, all included. 846 01:03:28,180 --> 01:03:29,972 Nine hundred quid. 847 01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:32,266 Nine hundred? 848 01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:34,685 The old robber. 849 01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:36,312 Well, that's his rate. 850 01:03:36,521 --> 01:03:39,064 No, Tony, you done very well. You done very well. 851 01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:42,151 - Good. When do I go? - This week. Definitely. 852 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,569 Yeah. 853 01:03:43,779 --> 01:03:45,279 Now listen. 854 01:03:45,489 --> 01:03:47,907 He wants a little picture of you, mate. 855 01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:50,785 Yeah, a little photograph for your passport. 856 01:03:51,328 --> 01:03:54,246 - You know what I mean? - Oh, yeah, I get you. I get you. 857 01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:56,707 Thanopoulos, he said, "If your friend's smart... 858 01:03:56,917 --> 01:03:59,919 ...he'll wanna look decidedly different to what he normally does." 859 01:04:00,295 --> 01:04:01,504 Grow a beard. 860 01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:04,048 No, I'll think of something, Tone. Don't worry. 861 01:04:04,257 --> 01:04:06,258 Right then, I'll hear from you tonight... 862 01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:08,803 ...at my gaff, 9:00, all right? 863 01:04:09,137 --> 01:04:10,304 Chin up, uncle. 864 01:04:10,514 --> 01:04:12,264 The land of opportunity awaits, eh? 865 01:04:27,614 --> 01:04:28,989 [DOORBELL RINGS] 866 01:04:47,843 --> 01:04:50,135 TURNER: Three years too late. MAN: You said you wanted it. 867 01:04:50,595 --> 01:04:52,471 I can't afford it. 868 01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:55,808 I'm not sure if I like it, anyway. 869 01:04:56,017 --> 01:04:58,060 I'll keep the frame. 870 01:05:02,357 --> 01:05:03,691 LUCY: Oh, come on, forget it. 871 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:06,694 He never buys anything. Let's go back to Ula's. 872 01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,154 Let's go. 873 01:05:11,074 --> 01:05:12,199 [DOOR CLOSES] 874 01:05:30,218 --> 01:05:32,011 [BANGING] 875 01:05:32,387 --> 01:05:33,470 [TURNER CLEARS THROAT] 876 01:05:33,722 --> 01:05:35,264 PHERBER: Don't. 877 01:05:41,563 --> 01:05:43,022 CHAS: Oh, there you are. 878 01:05:43,231 --> 01:05:46,734 Sorry to disturb, but has anyone got a sixpence for the phone? 879 01:05:47,527 --> 01:05:50,613 Uh, can I, uh, use the blower up here? 880 01:05:50,822 --> 01:05:53,032 We haven't got a blower up here. 881 01:05:53,241 --> 01:05:54,575 Ha! 882 01:05:54,784 --> 01:05:57,244 What in God's name has he done to his hair? 883 01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:00,831 TURNER: He's blown it. 884 01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:02,750 Yeah, well, that's it, dear. 885 01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:04,710 - I gotta ring up my agent again. - Dye. 886 01:06:05,003 --> 01:06:08,839 TURNER: I fancied the red. - No, no, it was the red that was dyed. 887 01:06:09,716 --> 01:06:10,716 - It's dead. CHAS: Dyed. 888 01:06:13,762 --> 01:06:15,262 - Red. PHERBER: Dyed it. 889 01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,473 Dead. 890 01:06:17,682 --> 01:06:19,892 Red. Red. 891 01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:24,188 TURNER: Van Gogh, eh? 892 01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:25,564 Oh, no. This is the normal. 893 01:06:25,774 --> 01:06:28,067 - The normal? - Yeah. I was just having a laugh. 894 01:06:28,276 --> 01:06:31,862 Having a laugh, you see? With my act. With my image. 895 01:06:32,489 --> 01:06:36,158 - You know what I mean? TURNER: I know exactly what you mean. 896 01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:38,035 Thought you would. 897 01:06:38,244 --> 01:06:40,704 Uh, he reckons, my agent... 898 01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:43,415 ...that, uh, it's time for a change. 899 01:06:43,625 --> 01:06:45,459 It's time for a change. 900 01:06:45,669 --> 01:06:46,877 Well, I can see his point. 901 01:06:47,087 --> 01:06:49,755 TURNER: Yeah, so can I. 902 01:06:49,965 --> 01:06:52,841 Personally, casting one's mind back. 903 01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:54,426 Yeah? 904 01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:58,764 TURNER: I rather liked it. - The, uh? 905 01:06:59,975 --> 01:07:02,935 PHERBER: No, you fool. Your act. 906 01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:05,270 Your image. 907 01:07:05,814 --> 01:07:07,856 We just remembered, see. 908 01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:10,067 We've seen it. We caught it in Hamburg. 909 01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:11,402 - Your act. CHAS: Oh, yeah? 910 01:07:11,611 --> 01:07:14,279 TURNER: Yes, it was fascinating. CHAS: Oh, mushrooms. I like them fried. 911 01:07:14,489 --> 01:07:16,156 PHERBER: Hungry, eh? 912 01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:18,701 TURNER: Even though, as one artist to another... 913 01:07:18,910 --> 01:07:20,744 ...it is a bit old-fashioned. 914 01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,957 Yeah, well, I am a bit old-fashioned. 915 01:07:26,835 --> 01:07:29,003 Or was it Berlin? 916 01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:33,132 No, thanks. 917 01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:35,718 Was it last year? Or was it '67? 918 01:07:35,927 --> 01:07:37,219 PHERBER: Sixty-six. - Sixty-nine. 919 01:07:37,429 --> 01:07:39,888 CHAS: Was it Paris? - Goodbye, the Bugatti. 920 01:07:40,098 --> 01:07:42,016 TURNER: It was Wembley. CHAS: Why not? 921 01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:44,810 TURNER: No. Tokyo. 922 01:07:45,645 --> 01:07:48,313 - Tokyo? TURNER: Tokyo. The World's Fair. 923 01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:50,983 Oh, yes. It was Tokyo. 924 01:07:54,195 --> 01:07:55,863 No, thanks. 925 01:07:56,698 --> 01:07:58,907 Yeah, it was Tokyo. 926 01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:01,118 Definitely. 927 01:08:05,540 --> 01:08:08,333 Speaking of which, I just come across downstairs on the floor. 928 01:08:08,543 --> 01:08:10,502 This will sound funny, but have you got one? 929 01:08:11,046 --> 01:08:12,629 A Polaroid? 930 01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:17,134 [LAUGHING] 931 01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:19,887 Time for a change. 932 01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:22,347 Have we got one? 933 01:08:23,224 --> 01:08:25,559 - Yes, no. - Yes, no. 934 01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:29,271 [METAL CLANGING] 935 01:08:29,481 --> 01:08:31,523 CHAS: Just for a lark, I thought, eh? 936 01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:34,359 Little Lorraine set it off. Gave me the idea. 937 01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:38,155 Yeah, we often lark about with the Polaroid. 938 01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:41,950 - Me and the girls. CHAS: Oh, yeah? I got a Leica N3 myself. 939 01:08:49,209 --> 01:08:51,835 CHAS: I never wear hats. - Not even when performing? 940 01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:55,005 - Never. No. - What you wear then? 941 01:08:55,215 --> 01:08:57,049 - Look here. - Uh... 942 01:08:57,383 --> 01:08:59,218 Well, loose... Ah! 943 01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:01,303 Loose things. 944 01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:03,138 [PHERBER CHUCKLES] 945 01:09:03,348 --> 01:09:05,682 Marvelous picture. 946 01:09:06,935 --> 01:09:09,103 Yeah, I never wear hats. 947 01:09:09,312 --> 01:09:11,396 Oh, right, you like the mushrooms fried. 948 01:09:11,606 --> 01:09:13,607 - Sorry. - No, no. Ah... 949 01:09:13,942 --> 01:09:15,150 Why don't you try this? 950 01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,320 - I'll try anything once. - You'll like it, it's continental. 951 01:09:19,781 --> 01:09:21,740 Yeah, you're a good cook, Pherber. 952 01:09:21,950 --> 01:09:23,367 Are these? 953 01:09:23,576 --> 01:09:28,413 Are these photographs for narcissistic... 954 01:09:30,792 --> 01:09:32,584 ...or publicity purposes? 955 01:09:32,961 --> 01:09:33,961 What? 956 01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:36,964 Because if you're planning to disseminate postcard-sized... 957 01:09:37,173 --> 01:09:40,134 - Have you got a drop of Scotch? - No, I'm sorry. 958 01:09:40,343 --> 01:09:44,513 - offset litho reproductions of these by the thousand, then... 959 01:09:44,722 --> 01:09:45,764 Oh, no, no, no. 960 01:09:45,974 --> 01:09:48,142 - These are just for my agent. TURNER: You see my point? 961 01:09:48,601 --> 01:09:50,477 CHAS: Of course I can. Of course I can. 962 01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:52,604 Oh, no, no, uh... 963 01:09:52,814 --> 01:09:54,439 No, I'd, uh... 964 01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:57,109 I don't want these to be seen by the general public. 965 01:09:57,652 --> 01:09:58,819 - No. TURNER: Good. 966 01:09:59,028 --> 01:10:00,279 That's a load off my mind. 967 01:10:02,157 --> 01:10:04,825 That's a first-class photo, Turner, technically speaking... 968 01:10:05,034 --> 01:10:08,203 ...but I don't think it's a suitable image. 969 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:10,998 PHERBER: You don't? - No. 970 01:10:11,207 --> 01:10:12,791 PHERBER: I think it's perfect. 971 01:10:13,001 --> 01:10:15,002 Perfectly brown. 972 01:10:15,753 --> 01:10:17,212 It's you. 973 01:10:17,422 --> 01:10:19,798 - Yeah, well, that's it. I don't, uh... - It's perfect you. 974 01:10:20,008 --> 01:10:21,300 It looks, uh... I look dodgy. 975 01:10:21,509 --> 01:10:23,552 - You know what I mean? TURNER: I know what you mean. 976 01:10:23,761 --> 01:10:26,221 CHAS: Yeah, you've, uh... Well, you've gone too far. 977 01:10:26,431 --> 01:10:29,725 TURNER: He means we haven't really got anywhere. 978 01:10:30,018 --> 01:10:33,478 He means we've got to go much further out. 979 01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:35,981 We have to go much further. 980 01:10:36,191 --> 01:10:37,649 Much further back. 981 01:10:37,859 --> 01:10:39,735 And faster. 982 01:10:40,695 --> 01:10:42,571 Wait a minute. 983 01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:48,911 Are you all right? 984 01:10:49,537 --> 01:10:50,787 CHAS: Yes. 985 01:10:50,955 --> 01:10:52,664 Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. 986 01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:57,419 Look, what I've got to have is a little photo. 987 01:11:00,548 --> 01:11:04,593 I want a little black-and-white photo, yeah? 988 01:11:06,888 --> 01:11:10,015 Look, it's just gotta be a little bit different. 989 01:11:10,892 --> 01:11:12,517 Do you know what I mean? 990 01:11:12,727 --> 01:11:15,270 And black and white. Ah. 991 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:23,237 It's nothing. It's what... The accident what done me up. 992 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:28,992 You wanted a sort of passport size, eh? 993 01:11:30,536 --> 01:11:32,537 [TURNER STRUMS GUITAR] 994 01:11:38,378 --> 01:11:39,378 [CHAS GROANING] 995 01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:43,548 It's interesting how things grow quickly septic. 996 01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:48,887 I think maybe we ought to call Dr. Burroughs. 997 01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:51,265 Give him a shot. 998 01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:53,141 [TURNER STRUMS GUITAR] 999 01:11:53,351 --> 01:11:55,102 CHAS: A shot? 1000 01:11:56,562 --> 01:11:59,231 No. 1001 01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,775 You know what you're doing, Pherber. 1002 01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:07,698 I've gotta get... I've gotta get this little photo just right. 1003 01:12:08,032 --> 01:12:10,033 What photo? 1004 01:12:10,243 --> 01:12:11,827 Of who? 1005 01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:14,121 Johnny Dean. 1006 01:12:17,292 --> 01:12:19,376 Maybe he doesn't know who he is. 1007 01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:20,919 TURNER: He does. 1008 01:12:21,129 --> 01:12:23,046 [TURNER HITTING GUITAR] 1009 01:12:23,256 --> 01:12:25,590 [TURNER SINGING ROBERT JOHNSON'S "COME ON IN MY KITCHEN"] 1010 01:13:04,797 --> 01:13:07,799 He does. He knows. He's the bogeyman. 1011 01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:12,554 CHAS: I'm alive and well. You push the buttons on that thing. 1012 01:13:23,149 --> 01:13:25,609 [SINGING ROBERT JOHNSON'S "ME AND THE DEVIL BLUES"] 1013 01:14:02,313 --> 01:14:04,356 We push the buttons. 1014 01:14:04,899 --> 01:14:06,191 He's the horror show. 1015 01:14:06,984 --> 01:14:08,610 He's an old pro. 1016 01:14:08,820 --> 01:14:09,903 He can take it. 1017 01:14:10,405 --> 01:14:11,613 He takes it. 1018 01:14:11,823 --> 01:14:14,574 He dishes it out too, bet your sweet fucking life he does. 1019 01:14:14,784 --> 01:14:16,743 He's a mean bastard. 1020 01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:18,954 I'm the Lone Ranger. 1021 01:14:20,706 --> 01:14:22,541 [SINGING] 1022 01:14:54,157 --> 01:14:56,616 TURNER: He's a striped beast. 1023 01:14:57,368 --> 01:15:00,078 You enjoy your work, eh? 1024 01:15:00,288 --> 01:15:02,289 You've got the gift. 1025 01:15:04,459 --> 01:15:07,127 - What's wrong with the lights? - Yeah. 1026 01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:08,712 Artificial energy. 1027 01:15:09,088 --> 01:15:11,256 It's pulsating into the voltage. 1028 01:15:11,966 --> 01:15:15,302 The flame... Hey, man, hold it! 1029 01:15:19,891 --> 01:15:21,558 CHAS: Yeah. 1030 01:15:22,310 --> 01:15:23,810 Yeah. 1031 01:15:27,315 --> 01:15:31,276 I've never seen that sort before. 1032 01:15:35,865 --> 01:15:37,365 It must be scorching hot. 1033 01:15:37,575 --> 01:15:39,117 [PHERBER GIGGLES] 1034 01:15:43,331 --> 01:15:45,207 This is a... 1035 01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:48,502 This is a very pretty table. 1036 01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:50,879 [PHERBER LAUGHING] 1037 01:15:51,130 --> 01:15:52,881 A very pretty table. 1038 01:15:55,635 --> 01:15:58,345 I... I'd, uh... I'd like a... 1039 01:15:58,554 --> 01:16:00,639 How much do you want for this, Turner? 1040 01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:06,686 CHAS: America's a blinding place for nightlife. 1041 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,272 He's on his way, that man. 1042 01:16:12,777 --> 01:16:14,819 How much did you give him? 1043 01:16:15,738 --> 01:16:17,531 Two-thirds of the big one. 1044 01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:19,866 That's insane. I can't make that scene. 1045 01:16:20,076 --> 01:16:22,327 You should have thought of that before. 1046 01:16:22,537 --> 01:16:26,331 Johnny? 1047 01:16:26,541 --> 01:16:28,083 You feel better, huh? 1048 01:16:28,292 --> 01:16:30,710 Yeah. Not bad, not bad. 1049 01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:32,754 Pretty sharp. 1050 01:16:33,297 --> 01:16:34,923 - Gotta get a shift on. PHERBER: Sure. 1051 01:16:35,132 --> 01:16:36,925 Where's Rosie? 1052 01:16:37,468 --> 01:16:40,428 Hey. We're gonna nudge that slag. 1053 01:16:40,638 --> 01:16:42,973 Don't you worry about that. 1054 01:16:43,182 --> 01:16:44,683 Johnny? 1055 01:16:46,519 --> 01:16:47,978 Chas? 1056 01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:51,189 - Yeah? - Look at this. 1057 01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:54,192 CHAS: Cor, what a horrible-looking thing. 1058 01:16:54,402 --> 01:16:58,321 PHERBER: No, it's not. It's beautiful. 1059 01:16:58,990 --> 01:17:00,782 You had one for dinner. 1060 01:17:01,701 --> 01:17:03,159 Yeah? 1061 01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:06,246 PHERBER: Mm-hm. 1062 01:17:07,415 --> 01:17:09,791 CHAS: You've poisoned me! PHERBER: Look, don't be crazy. 1063 01:17:10,001 --> 01:17:12,377 CHAS: You poisoned me! PHERBER: No! 1064 01:17:12,587 --> 01:17:14,087 TURNER: Oh, don't be ridiculous. PHERBER: No, no. 1065 01:17:14,297 --> 01:17:16,673 - Just to speed things up. TURNER: You've just been drugged. 1066 01:17:16,882 --> 01:17:19,050 PHERBER: I want to get a shift on. 1067 01:17:19,260 --> 01:17:20,510 [CHAS SCREAMS] 1068 01:17:22,555 --> 01:17:25,098 TURNER: I just wanna go in there, Chas. 1069 01:17:25,308 --> 01:17:29,894 You see, the blood of this vegetable is boring a hole. 1070 01:17:30,605 --> 01:17:34,149 This second hole is penetrating the hole of your face. 1071 01:17:34,358 --> 01:17:36,192 The skull of your bone. 1072 01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:38,653 I just wanna get right in there, know what I mean? 1073 01:17:38,863 --> 01:17:41,156 - And root around like a mandragora. CHAS: Am I going nuts? 1074 01:17:41,365 --> 01:17:42,949 PHERBER: Come on. You're beautiful. 1075 01:17:43,159 --> 01:17:45,410 We just dismantled you a little bit, that's all. 1076 01:17:45,620 --> 01:17:47,245 Just to see how you function. 1077 01:17:47,455 --> 01:17:50,624 PHERBER: We sat through your act. Now you're gonna sit through ours. 1078 01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:52,083 His act? 1079 01:17:52,293 --> 01:17:55,670 - They never get fed up with it, do they? CHAS: I'm a goer, myself. 1080 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:58,798 Been on the road a million years. 1081 01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:02,761 A million years people have been coming and dragging in to watch it. 1082 01:18:03,471 --> 01:18:06,056 I like a bit of a cavort. 1083 01:18:06,265 --> 01:18:08,767 I don't send them solicitors' letters. 1084 01:18:08,976 --> 01:18:11,895 I apply a bit of pressure. 1085 01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:14,648 He won't listen to me. 1086 01:18:14,857 --> 01:18:17,025 I know how you do it. 1087 01:18:18,778 --> 01:18:22,697 I know a thing or two about performing, my boy, I can tell you. 1088 01:18:25,743 --> 01:18:28,161 He had the gift too, once upon a time. 1089 01:18:28,371 --> 01:18:30,038 You should have seen him 10 years ago. 1090 01:18:30,247 --> 01:18:31,831 TURNER: I'll tell you this. 1091 01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:36,461 The only performance that makes it, that really makes it... 1092 01:18:36,671 --> 01:18:40,507 ...that makes it all the way, is the one that achieves madness. 1093 01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:42,717 Right? Am I right? 1094 01:18:42,927 --> 01:18:45,303 - You with me? - I'm with you. 1095 01:18:45,513 --> 01:18:48,390 He wants to know why your show... 1096 01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:52,811 ...is a bigger turn-on than his ever was. CHAS: How should I know? 1097 01:18:54,689 --> 01:18:58,942 Well, I know a thing or two about the clientele. 1098 01:19:02,196 --> 01:19:05,115 They're a bunch of liars and wrigglers. 1099 01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:07,367 Put the frighteners on them. 1100 01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:10,537 Give them a bit of stick. 1101 01:19:11,706 --> 01:19:13,998 That's the way to make them jump. 1102 01:19:14,208 --> 01:19:15,375 They love it. 1103 01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,502 Ooh, he's on a bummer. 1104 01:19:20,923 --> 01:19:22,257 TURNER: Time for your new image. 1105 01:19:22,466 --> 01:19:26,052 CHAS: So is it different? PHERBER: Now we're getting somewhere. 1106 01:19:26,262 --> 01:19:28,138 America's a blinding place. 1107 01:19:28,723 --> 01:19:30,140 Must you really go tomorrow? 1108 01:19:31,559 --> 01:19:35,645 Tomorrow. Tomorrow he learns what's true and what's not. 1109 01:19:35,855 --> 01:19:37,772 Nothing is true. 1110 01:19:37,982 --> 01:19:40,150 Everything is permitted. 1111 01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:42,819 Eh? 1112 01:19:43,362 --> 01:19:46,406 The last words of the old man in the mountain. 1113 01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:50,160 His motto. It's a thousand years old. 1114 01:19:51,620 --> 01:19:55,123 Imagine yourself being a thousand years younger. 1115 01:19:57,418 --> 01:20:00,044 TURNER: "The old man was called, in the language of Persia... 1116 01:20:00,254 --> 01:20:01,755 ...Hassan-i-Sabbah. 1117 01:20:01,964 --> 01:20:04,883 And his people were called the Hashishin. 1118 01:20:05,092 --> 01:20:07,218 He had caused a valley between two mountains... 1119 01:20:07,428 --> 01:20:10,430 ...to be enclosed and turned into a garden... 1120 01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:15,268 ...so large and beautiful his people believed it was paradise. 1121 01:20:15,478 --> 01:20:17,687 And there was a fortress at the entrance... 1122 01:20:17,897 --> 01:20:20,857 ...strong enough to resist all the world. 1123 01:20:21,066 --> 01:20:24,068 Now, the old man who caused those of his young men... 1124 01:20:24,278 --> 01:20:26,654 ...whom he had chosen to be his Hashishin... 1125 01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:33,036 ...his assassins, to be given a potion which cast them into a deep sleep. 1126 01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:34,913 And to be carried into the garden... 1127 01:20:35,122 --> 01:20:39,167 ...so that when they awoke they believed they were in paradise. 1128 01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:42,086 And there were damsels and young girls there... 1129 01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:44,672 ...who dallied with them to their hearts' content... 1130 01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:48,593 ...so that they had what young men desire. 1131 01:20:49,470 --> 01:20:51,471 Thus it was, that when the old man decided... 1132 01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:53,890 ...to send one of his assassins upon a mission... 1133 01:20:54,099 --> 01:20:55,975 ...such as to have a prince slain... 1134 01:20:56,185 --> 01:20:58,603 ...he would send for one of these youths and say: 1135 01:20:58,813 --> 01:21:00,480 'Go thou and kill... 1136 01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:04,651 ...and when thou returnest my angels shall bear thee into paradise. 1137 01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:07,612 And shouldest thou die, nevertheless... 1138 01:21:07,822 --> 01:21:12,325 ...I will send my angels to carry you back into paradise."' 1139 01:21:12,535 --> 01:21:14,661 Enjoy doing work? 1140 01:21:16,747 --> 01:21:18,873 Are you in that garden? 1141 01:21:19,083 --> 01:21:20,375 CHAS: Yeah. 1142 01:21:20,584 --> 01:21:22,919 Stay there. 1143 01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:27,173 Never trust old men, old showmen, old wankers. 1144 01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:30,343 I'm gonna take you down the riverside. 1145 01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:32,220 I might powder you. 1146 01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:37,475 I might polish you. I might make you shiny like a mirror. 1147 01:21:37,852 --> 01:21:40,687 I just don't know. Mm. 1148 01:21:40,938 --> 01:21:43,815 What's that? What do you call it? 1149 01:21:44,024 --> 01:21:45,608 Pectoral. 1150 01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:51,489 Do you like my physique? 1151 01:21:53,033 --> 01:21:54,200 Yeah, it's in, uh... 1152 01:21:55,786 --> 01:21:57,453 It's in good condition. 1153 01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:05,503 PHERBER: I've got two angles. 1154 01:22:05,713 --> 01:22:07,505 One male and one female. 1155 01:22:07,715 --> 01:22:10,341 Just like a triangle, see? 1156 01:22:11,719 --> 01:22:14,429 - Did you notice? - Eh? 1157 01:22:15,180 --> 01:22:17,307 Did you never have a female feel? 1158 01:22:18,726 --> 01:22:22,061 No, never. I feel like a man. 1159 01:22:22,271 --> 01:22:24,272 A man all the time. 1160 01:22:24,481 --> 01:22:25,857 PHERBER: That's awful. 1161 01:22:26,066 --> 01:22:28,192 That's what's wrong with you, isn't it? 1162 01:22:28,402 --> 01:22:29,652 What do you mean? 1163 01:22:29,862 --> 01:22:32,322 It's a man's man's world. 1164 01:22:32,531 --> 01:22:34,991 There's nothing wrong with me. 1165 01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:36,910 I'm normal. 1166 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:40,204 [LAUGHING] 1167 01:22:43,918 --> 01:22:46,544 PHERBER: How do you think Turner feels like, huh? 1168 01:22:46,754 --> 01:22:48,963 I don't know, he's weird. 1169 01:22:49,173 --> 01:22:51,049 And you're weird. 1170 01:22:51,467 --> 01:22:54,844 - You're kinky. - He's a man. Male and female man. 1171 01:22:55,429 --> 01:22:57,388 And he feels like me. 1172 01:22:57,598 --> 01:22:59,724 CHAS: No. No, he doesn't. PHERBER: How do I feel, huh? 1173 01:22:59,934 --> 01:23:01,768 Tell me. Female feel. 1174 01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:03,311 [PHERBER LAUGHS] 1175 01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:05,813 Mm. You love it, hmm? 1176 01:23:06,023 --> 01:23:07,482 Come inside my squares. 1177 01:23:07,691 --> 01:23:11,736 I'll introduce you to Eek, the light god. 1178 01:23:11,946 --> 01:23:15,156 But be fast and change your beautiful dress... 1179 01:23:15,366 --> 01:23:18,618 ...or my curiosity will go elsewhere. 1180 01:23:19,161 --> 01:23:23,122 Tell me, my gluteus maximus, hmm. How does it feel like, huh? 1181 01:23:23,332 --> 01:23:26,751 CHAS: I said I'm not one of those. PHERBER: Big butch. 1182 01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:30,588 - Mm. Rita Hayworth. - I said, no. 1183 01:23:31,882 --> 01:23:34,509 [PHERBER LAUGHING] 1184 01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:36,260 CHAS: You're sick. 1185 01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:38,012 PHERBER: Oh! CHAS: You... 1186 01:23:38,222 --> 01:23:40,682 You... You degenerate. 1187 01:23:40,891 --> 01:23:42,684 - You're perverted. PHERBER: Ow! 1188 01:23:43,143 --> 01:23:47,855 - What's he wanna get out of my face? - I'm gonna polish you. Mm. 1189 01:23:48,107 --> 01:23:49,607 CHAS: The hole. The hole. 1190 01:23:49,817 --> 01:23:52,944 - What's he want? PHERBER: Maybe a little mirror. 1191 01:23:53,737 --> 01:23:56,447 - A little dark mirror. CHAS: My mirror? No. 1192 01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:59,826 PHERBER: A little dark mirror. CHAS: No, he shan't. The thieving slag. 1193 01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:01,285 PHERBER: Listen! 1194 01:24:04,123 --> 01:24:06,624 He won't take it away, you fool. 1195 01:24:07,084 --> 01:24:09,419 He just wants to take a look in it. 1196 01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:12,255 He's stuck! 1197 01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:14,298 - Stuck! CHAS: Why? 1198 01:24:14,717 --> 01:24:17,593 PHERBER: Why? Because he's lost his demon. That's why. 1199 01:24:17,803 --> 01:24:18,803 CHAS: Yeah? PHERBER: Yeah. 1200 01:24:19,013 --> 01:24:23,016 He thought he had it under control. Juggling all those balls, millions of them. 1201 01:24:23,684 --> 01:24:24,684 CHAS: Bastard. 1202 01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:27,311 Until one day he was looking in his favorite mirror... 1203 01:24:27,521 --> 01:24:29,147 ...admiring his image, see? 1204 01:24:29,356 --> 01:24:32,608 And when suddenly, he saw it a bit too clearly. 1205 01:24:32,818 --> 01:24:38,489 And he was just a beautiful, little, freaky, stripy beast, darling. 1206 01:24:38,699 --> 01:24:39,866 So he thought maybe... 1207 01:24:40,117 --> 01:24:42,326 Maybe it's time for a change, he thought. 1208 01:24:42,536 --> 01:24:46,581 Then immediately as he watched, the image faded. 1209 01:24:46,790 --> 01:24:50,585 His demon had abandoned him. Puff! 1210 01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:52,378 - He was gone. CHAS: Yeah? 1211 01:24:52,588 --> 01:24:55,381 PHERBER: He's still trying to figure out whether he wants it back. 1212 01:24:55,591 --> 01:24:58,468 - He's gotta find it again. Right? - Listen, I gotta tell you something. 1213 01:24:58,677 --> 01:25:01,512 Go and tell Turner. He's waiting for you. 1214 01:25:02,431 --> 01:25:05,183 He's been waiting a long, long time. 1215 01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:07,685 You must be polite. 1216 01:25:08,771 --> 01:25:09,771 Eh? 1217 01:25:25,496 --> 01:25:27,497 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 1218 01:26:22,344 --> 01:26:26,430 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1219 01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:45,491 [SCREAMS] 1220 01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:06,095 TURNER: Right again. Me. 1221 01:27:07,097 --> 01:27:10,933 Me. 1222 01:27:12,019 --> 01:27:14,061 Do you call that equitable? 1223 01:27:26,116 --> 01:27:28,201 I like that. Turn it up. 1224 01:27:30,329 --> 01:27:31,662 [MUSIC BECOMES LOUDER] 1225 01:27:33,749 --> 01:27:37,710 [SINGING THE ROLLING STONES' "MEMO FROM TURNER"] 1226 01:27:55,187 --> 01:27:56,479 It was Mad Cyril. 1227 01:27:56,980 --> 01:27:59,523 [SINGING] 1228 01:28:11,954 --> 01:28:13,371 We've been courteous. 1229 01:28:13,872 --> 01:28:15,581 [SINGING] 1230 01:28:38,605 --> 01:28:42,066 Let's have a look. 1231 01:28:42,651 --> 01:28:44,402 - Excuse me, but... TURNER: Come in! 1232 01:28:44,611 --> 01:28:47,280 Take them off. Take them off! 1233 01:28:48,365 --> 01:28:49,949 [SINGING] 1234 01:29:55,515 --> 01:29:56,891 [MOUTHS] Here's to good old England. 1235 01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:05,274 [TURNER SINGING] 1236 01:31:03,959 --> 01:31:05,459 Go and tell your agent. 1237 01:31:08,004 --> 01:31:09,380 Why? What time is it? 1238 01:31:10,048 --> 01:31:12,049 You forgot to phone your agent. 1239 01:31:13,760 --> 01:31:15,010 Uh... 1240 01:31:15,762 --> 01:31:17,888 I... I forgot. 1241 01:31:18,098 --> 01:31:20,224 You forgot to phone him. 1242 01:31:21,017 --> 01:31:24,061 These two freaks with shiny eyes like this: 1243 01:31:24,271 --> 01:31:26,188 And that guy like this: 1244 01:31:27,190 --> 01:31:29,733 You've been giving him a hard time, haven't you? 1245 01:31:29,943 --> 01:31:30,943 [MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY] 1246 01:31:31,153 --> 01:31:32,361 Did you screw him? 1247 01:31:41,496 --> 01:31:43,456 Hey, what is this? 1248 01:31:43,665 --> 01:31:47,001 Do you want it? It's yours. You can have it. 1249 01:31:47,210 --> 01:31:48,919 Yeah? 1250 01:31:49,129 --> 01:31:50,963 Is he a real gangster? Is he? 1251 01:31:51,173 --> 01:31:52,923 No. 1252 01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:55,426 LUCY: Mm. PHERBER: Mm. 1253 01:31:55,802 --> 01:31:57,595 You done me up. 1254 01:31:57,804 --> 01:31:59,763 - I forgot, didn't I? TURNER: Hmm? 1255 01:32:01,808 --> 01:32:04,768 He's got my passport. He's got my... 1256 01:32:04,978 --> 01:32:05,978 [PHONE RINGING THEN CLICKS] 1257 01:32:06,188 --> 01:32:08,189 TONY [ON PHONE]: Hello? - Tony? 1258 01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:09,773 Hello? 1259 01:32:09,983 --> 01:32:10,983 Hang on. 1260 01:32:11,193 --> 01:32:14,320 [COIN CLATTERS THEN PHONE WHIRS] 1261 01:32:14,529 --> 01:32:18,324 - There you go. - Hey, Tony. 1262 01:32:18,533 --> 01:32:20,659 Hello, pal. Where you been? 1263 01:32:21,369 --> 01:32:22,578 You forgot. 1264 01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:24,121 Oh, Christ almighty. 1265 01:32:24,414 --> 01:32:27,833 No, I had a bit of aggravation, Tone. 1266 01:32:28,043 --> 01:32:31,962 It wasn't easy. I've got the picture. I've got it right here. 1267 01:32:32,172 --> 01:32:33,464 TONY [ON PHONE]: Oh, that's great, great. 1268 01:32:33,673 --> 01:32:35,341 Uh, look, that ship. 1269 01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:38,302 It looks as if it's leaving tomorrow night. Yeah. 1270 01:32:38,512 --> 01:32:41,472 So, uh, I just need the photo. 1271 01:32:41,806 --> 01:32:43,891 Yeah, well... 1272 01:32:44,100 --> 01:32:46,769 ...you got to pick it up. 1273 01:32:47,187 --> 01:32:48,521 Yeah, let me think. 1274 01:32:48,730 --> 01:32:52,149 81 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. He can come here. 1275 01:32:52,359 --> 01:32:54,818 CHAS [ON PHONE]: 81 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. 1276 01:32:55,195 --> 01:32:58,280 TONY: 81 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. 1277 01:32:58,490 --> 01:32:59,615 Yes, Chas, yeah. 1278 01:32:59,824 --> 01:33:01,867 You'll pick it up at 9:30. 1279 01:33:02,619 --> 01:33:05,996 TONY: I'll pick it up at 9:30. 1280 01:33:07,374 --> 01:33:08,791 Are you all right, boy? 1281 01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:11,418 No, no, no, I'm all right, Chas. 1282 01:33:11,628 --> 01:33:14,129 I'm just feeling a bit, uh, tired, that's all. 1283 01:33:15,423 --> 01:33:17,508 Uh, Tony, uh... 1284 01:33:18,051 --> 01:33:19,843 ...I owe you for this. 1285 01:33:20,053 --> 01:33:21,512 I'm going to miss you, Tone. 1286 01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:23,889 Yeah, I'll miss you too, boy. 1287 01:33:24,099 --> 01:33:26,517 Well, um... Well, good night. 1288 01:33:26,726 --> 01:33:28,477 Good night. I'll call you at 9. 1289 01:33:28,687 --> 01:33:30,938 - God bless. - Thanks, Tone. 1290 01:33:32,566 --> 01:33:34,233 Thank you, Tony. 1291 01:33:34,442 --> 01:33:38,654 A wise head on... Still on those young shoulders, eh? 1292 01:33:40,448 --> 01:33:43,075 Ah. So he forgot, did he? 1293 01:33:43,285 --> 01:33:47,121 Forgot but not forgiven, eh, Moody? 1294 01:33:47,872 --> 01:33:49,456 Pardon? 1295 01:33:50,292 --> 01:33:54,545 ROSEBLOOM: It's funny. Wouldn't you say that was unlike him, Tony? 1296 01:33:56,298 --> 01:33:57,298 [CHUCKLES] 1297 01:33:58,758 --> 01:34:02,553 ROSEBLOOM: It's unlike him to forget an important thing. 1298 01:34:11,021 --> 01:34:12,855 Why is he going to America? 1299 01:34:13,064 --> 01:34:15,357 TURNER: Why? I don't know. 1300 01:34:15,609 --> 01:34:17,860 Place to go, isn't it, for gangsters? 1301 01:34:18,069 --> 01:34:19,320 I don't think so. 1302 01:34:19,529 --> 01:34:21,530 He's going to get in some bad scenes again. 1303 01:34:22,198 --> 01:34:24,575 He should go here. Look. 1304 01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:27,244 Hmm? 1305 01:34:28,330 --> 01:34:29,747 LUCY: The mountains of Persia. 1306 01:34:30,165 --> 01:34:32,666 TURNER: Yeah, maybe. Maybe you're right. 1307 01:34:32,876 --> 01:34:35,669 I'm sure there's some bandits over there. 1308 01:34:36,338 --> 01:34:37,546 - Don't you think? TURNER: Mm, could be. 1309 01:34:38,048 --> 01:34:40,591 Yeah, I'll tell him. 1310 01:34:41,051 --> 01:34:42,676 LUCY: I'll tell him. 1311 01:34:42,886 --> 01:34:44,762 Tell me something. 1312 01:34:44,971 --> 01:34:48,724 Do you think the mountains would be improved without the bandits? 1313 01:34:48,933 --> 01:34:50,059 LUCY: Mm. 1314 01:34:50,268 --> 01:34:51,644 [LUCY SPEAKS IN FRENCH] 1315 01:35:15,043 --> 01:35:16,960 CHAS: Oh, my God. 1316 01:35:20,965 --> 01:35:24,051 I feel like I've been through a cement mixer. 1317 01:35:43,822 --> 01:35:44,822 [LUCY SPEAKS IN FRENCH] 1318 01:35:45,073 --> 01:35:47,866 CHAS: French, eh? LUCY: Yes, I'm French. 1319 01:35:51,162 --> 01:35:52,746 [CHUCKLES] 1320 01:35:52,956 --> 01:35:56,542 CHAS: You're a funny little frog. LUCY: Yes. 1321 01:35:58,169 --> 01:36:00,504 CHAS: You've got small titties, eh? LUCY: Yes. 1322 01:36:01,506 --> 01:36:03,841 CHAS: A bit underdeveloped? 1323 01:36:04,050 --> 01:36:07,094 Yes. What does that mean? 1324 01:36:07,303 --> 01:36:10,848 You're very skinny. Like a little boy or something. 1325 01:36:12,684 --> 01:36:14,935 LUCY: Some they mistake this. 1326 01:36:17,856 --> 01:36:19,273 Mm. 1327 01:36:25,238 --> 01:36:27,489 Lousy morning. 1328 01:36:29,451 --> 01:36:31,910 LUCY: This is for you. I found it. 1329 01:36:32,120 --> 01:36:34,455 - It's an amethyst. - Yes. 1330 01:36:36,583 --> 01:36:38,542 It's a purple amethyst. 1331 01:36:38,752 --> 01:36:40,043 Yeah. 1332 01:36:44,215 --> 01:36:46,091 You can have this too. 1333 01:36:46,301 --> 01:36:47,968 This is a magic one. 1334 01:36:48,595 --> 01:36:49,887 CHAS: Oh. 1335 01:36:50,221 --> 01:36:51,722 Is it? 1336 01:36:52,974 --> 01:36:54,433 Thanks. 1337 01:37:01,775 --> 01:37:03,567 LUCY: Pherber's got a visa. 1338 01:37:03,777 --> 01:37:05,861 They don't wanna give you a visa? 1339 01:37:06,070 --> 01:37:08,739 - No. - Why not? 1340 01:37:09,115 --> 01:37:10,449 Uh... 1341 01:37:10,825 --> 01:37:12,284 I don't know why not. 1342 01:37:12,494 --> 01:37:13,494 Because you're foreign. 1343 01:37:13,703 --> 01:37:14,995 [LUCY GIGGLES] 1344 01:37:15,246 --> 01:37:17,331 He likes foreign birds, that Turner. 1345 01:37:17,540 --> 01:37:19,458 LUCY: Maybe I go with you. Why not? 1346 01:37:21,961 --> 01:37:23,962 LUCY: But I don't want to go to America. 1347 01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:33,764 I wish you'd be a bandit in Persia. 1348 01:37:33,973 --> 01:37:36,600 CHAS: What's your name? - Lucy. 1349 01:37:45,610 --> 01:37:48,695 CHAS: He's got talent. He shouldn't have retired. 1350 01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:50,823 He should keep at it. 1351 01:37:51,115 --> 01:37:52,950 LUCY: He's stuck. 1352 01:37:54,452 --> 01:37:56,954 Everyone knows who he is still, don't they? 1353 01:37:58,623 --> 01:37:59,998 He likes you. 1354 01:38:01,835 --> 01:38:03,752 Stay till tomorrow. 1355 01:38:05,338 --> 01:38:09,383 I can't. I got to go along in a little while. 1356 01:38:10,468 --> 01:38:12,636 I've got to go too. 1357 01:38:13,930 --> 01:38:16,557 Maybe Pherber will come with me. 1358 01:38:17,475 --> 01:38:18,892 For holidays. 1359 01:38:19,102 --> 01:38:20,644 In the mountains. 1360 01:38:21,312 --> 01:38:23,689 Oh, merde, shampoo. 1361 01:38:26,734 --> 01:38:29,069 It's upstairs in the bathroom. 1362 01:38:33,783 --> 01:38:35,492 I'll get it for you. 1363 01:38:35,702 --> 01:38:36,952 Thanks. 1364 01:38:45,128 --> 01:38:46,378 Ah. 1365 01:38:54,095 --> 01:38:56,555 We've got to get off, Chas. Harry's waiting for you. 1366 01:38:58,057 --> 01:38:59,266 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1367 01:38:59,475 --> 01:39:01,727 Some of the chaps come up to see you too. 1368 01:39:01,936 --> 01:39:03,645 To see how you are. 1369 01:39:08,902 --> 01:39:11,361 Rosie, I've got to pop upstairs for a second. 1370 01:39:12,071 --> 01:39:13,488 No. 1371 01:39:15,950 --> 01:39:17,743 We've not got time. 1372 01:39:18,036 --> 01:39:20,037 We've got to get down to the country. 1373 01:39:21,831 --> 01:39:23,332 We got time. 1374 01:39:23,541 --> 01:39:25,125 We got a minute. 1375 01:39:26,502 --> 01:39:29,004 Else you'll have to give it to me right here. 1376 01:39:31,424 --> 01:39:32,883 Right here. 1377 01:39:35,678 --> 01:39:37,429 Won't you, Rosie? 1378 01:39:42,894 --> 01:39:45,896 All right. Make it two minutes. 1379 01:39:47,523 --> 01:39:50,067 You'll let me have the shooter as soon as you come down. 1380 01:39:50,276 --> 01:39:51,610 Right? 1381 01:39:53,821 --> 01:39:55,113 Right. 1382 01:39:58,785 --> 01:40:01,536 There's a couple of chaps on the roof, Chas. 1383 01:40:02,080 --> 01:40:03,705 A couple in the garden. 1384 01:40:10,004 --> 01:40:11,630 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 1385 01:40:22,892 --> 01:40:24,434 I've got to be off now. 1386 01:40:24,644 --> 01:40:26,937 No, I'm gonna talk to you some more. 1387 01:40:27,146 --> 01:40:28,522 No, I gotta shoot off now. 1388 01:40:28,731 --> 01:40:30,983 TURNER: I might come with you, then. 1389 01:40:56,050 --> 01:40:57,300 [SCOFFS] 1390 01:40:58,344 --> 01:41:00,762 You don't know where I'm going, pal. 1391 01:41:03,474 --> 01:41:05,058 I do. 1392 01:41:43,765 --> 01:41:45,348 I don't know. 1393 01:41:50,396 --> 01:41:52,230 Yeah, you do. 1394 01:41:56,778 --> 01:41:57,778 [GUN CLICKS] 1395 01:41:59,238 --> 01:42:00,238 [GUN COCKS] 1396 01:42:00,448 --> 01:42:01,698 [SCREAMS THEN GUNSHOT] 1397 01:42:29,936 --> 01:42:31,603 LUCY: Chas. 1398 01:42:35,149 --> 01:42:36,441 Chas. 1399 01:43:46,387 --> 01:43:47,888 Hello, Chas. 95072

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