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1
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,632
Still drinking?
2
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,810
Abbie, you still drinking?
3
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,524
Sixty seconds!
4
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:14,300
♪ Peregrinus expectavi
5
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:21,384
♪ Pedes meos in cymbalis ♪
6
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,058
Thirty seconds!
7
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:43,323
♪ Peregrinus expectavi
8
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:50,497
- ♪ Pedes meos in cymbalis ♪
- Are you deaf?
9
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:57,633
Fuck!
10
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,588
Ten seconds. Hurry up.
11
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,307
Huh?
12
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,681
Time!
13
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,020
Oh, well.
14
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,861
See if you don't quit
this time.
15
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,368
It smells like
a fucking fart bag over here.
16
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,953
All right.
17
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:39,042
Round six in three, two, one...
18
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:42,971
Three minutes.
19
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,820
Hold still.
20
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,486
I said hold still.
I'm trying to get focus.
21
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,201
You spill one drop,
I'm calling it.
22
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,079
Looks like it's dribbling down
your chin. I'll disqualify you.
23
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:19,587
I will kick you out unless you can
learn how to drink like a fucking human.
24
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,668
I am a human.
25
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,510
You sure?
26
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,465
Where'd you get these?
27
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,266
Dallas got 'em from Arin Bechdel.
28
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:32,971
Arin Bechdel got 'em from,
I don't know, some sales guy at work.
29
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,430
And then I got 'em from Dallas,
30
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,686
so I gotta beat 'em all
before I gotta give 'em back.
31
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,689
Aren't you afraid of Arin?
32
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,645
No. Why would I be?
33
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,864
I think you're afraid of Arin.
34
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,908
Trying to beat these?
35
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,453
No, I'm just trying
to flip the world.
36
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,747
I think you can only do it
in San Francisco.
37
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,452
Just go up, down,
and the quarter pipe four times,
38
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,583
slide rail halfway down the pipe,
39
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:02,883
jump over the right side,
ollie out, land on the cage.
40
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,256
I only did it once
by accident,
41
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:09,717
but... the whole level,
it flips upside down.
42
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,553
The screen freezes
and shakes for a little bit.
43
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,582
Now, they're gonna fix this before
the game comes out next year,
44
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,563
but it is a good glitch.
45
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,730
- Trying to find the glitches?
- Yeah.
46
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,278
Because you can't
really beat this game.
47
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,859
It's the new fucking Shadowgate.
That game's impossible.
48
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,694
It's gonna take you weeks.
49
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,030
- I sa.. I saved Kal Torlin.
- Huh.
50
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,036
- Escaped all three towers.
- What about this one? Huh?
51
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,083
Ah. I escaped the asylum.
52
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,877
Whoa.
53
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,205
Thirty seconds.
54
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,086
Huh.
55
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,255
Pac-Man?
Says it's the arcade version.
56
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,590
Yeah, I don't really like
the old games.
57
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,392
- You don't like the old games?
- They're hard.
58
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,437
Ten seconds.
59
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,520
Come on.
60
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,903
Four. Three. Two.
61
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,406
One! Time!
62
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,282
Whew.
63
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,455
That was close.
64
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,328
You gonna blow?
65
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,784
You sure?
66
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,414
I just have to pee.
67
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,212
Oh. There's a bathroom
right over there. Go for it.
68
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:25,167
- No. You'll disqualify me.
- Try it.
69
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,422
- You're gonna make me start all over again.
- Try it!
70
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,442
Ohh!
71
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:57,366
Round seven in three, two, one...
72
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,061
- Just one second.
- No, there's no breaks.
73
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:02,419
No, come on. There should be at least,
like, a minute between glasses.
74
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,373
That's against the regulations.
What, are you trying to quit?
75
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,426
- Well, can I have some ice, then?
- That dilutes the lactose.
76
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,844
Three, two, one.
77
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,176
Drink up!
78
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,851
What are you doing?
Are you packing?
79
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,485
Going to Uncle Ronnie
and Ronnie's.
80
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:34,194
Working on the new compound.
Everyone's gonna be there.
81
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,574
- Who's "everyone"?
- Everyone.
82
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:37,781
Even João?
83
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,331
So?
84
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,659
- Well, can I come?
- Sure.
85
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,211
- Mom's gonna be there.
- She can do your laundry.
86
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,088
What did you say?
87
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,294
Nothin'.
88
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,722
Ha!
89
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,889
You know what?
90
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,664
I think I'm just gonna take
this whole box set over
91
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:00,929
so everyone can watch it.
92
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,105
- Don't.
- Yeah.
93
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,400
We'll let 'em see
"The Quitter's Guide to Quitting".
94
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,603
- I didn't quit.
- Sure? Huh.
95
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,859
Let's start from the top.
"Mr Burger Challenge".
96
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,690
Only completed eight of the ten.
97
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,470
- Yeah, I wasn't hungry anymore.
- Let's see here.
98
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,907
We got "The Catnip
Cigarette Challenge".
99
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,785
- I swallowed some.
- Oh, sure. You didn't quit.
100
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,441
Then we got...
Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
101
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,083
"Full Volume Headphone Blast."
102
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,035
You only got through
two of Hammett's solos.
103
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,417
I told you I didn't want songs
longer than eight minutes.
104
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,464
You know what would have been
the ultimate challenge?
105
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,671
You gettin' a fucking job.
106
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,801
Wait. You quit that one, too.
107
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,098
That's right.
108
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,894
Old Cortez throws a hot dog at you,
and you go running home.
109
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,643
- Could've paid the rent.
- Oh, you could've paid the rent?
110
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:48,684
Man, I know Mom
pays for everything.
111
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,938
Where'd you hear that?
112
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,784
Where'd you hear this, huh?
Was it your boyfriend Dallas?
113
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,989
- She gives the landlord a cheque every month.
- Says who?
114
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,039
And she takes it out of
Dad's savings account.
115
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,878
Dad's savings?
He didn't have shit when he left.
116
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,421
Mom should have told you that
117
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,590
when she fucking evicted you
from the basement.
118
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,508
- Hey, I left on my own.
- Oh, really?
119
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,781
When she found you down there
writing love letters to him?
120
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,922
- They weren't love letters.
- "Dear Daddy Sicko"...
121
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,036
- He wasn't a sicko!
- You tell that to the court, motherfucker!
122
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,428
There was a silly misunderstanding.
That's all.
123
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,355
Dad was broke when he left.
Nothing there, idiot.
124
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,641
Fuck!
125
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,145
Oh, shit. Here we go.
126
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,741
What, did I hurt your feelings? Huh?
127
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,523
What's wrong with you?
128
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,869
Huh? What happened to you?
129
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,501
You got ten seconds, bitch.
130
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:51,877
Nine, eight, seven, six, five,
131
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,754
four, three, two...
132
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,006
Time!
133
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,010
Oh, that was fucking close.
134
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,850
Whew!
Half a glass left, man.
135
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,429
That's a big deal.
136
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,856
You might actually complete
a challenge.
137
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,605
Mom used to always
race us to the bus stop.
138
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:20,318
She always let you win, and I
always would come in last place.
139
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,654
- Why did she do that to me?
- What are you talking about?
140
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,705
Dad used to always
let me beat him.
141
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,455
What?
142
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,753
You... you asked
what happened to me.
143
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,217
I... I was just kidding.
I was just kidding around. Geez.
144
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,013
Come on. Let's go.
Round eight.
145
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,994
- Three, two, one. Here we go!
- No, wait. Are you gonna blow?
146
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,600
Hold on! Are you gonna blow?
Stop it!
147
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,665
I'm getting a fucking bucket.
This is not official.
148
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,772
Time has not started yet.
Wait right there.
149
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,794
I'm gonna go in the basement,
get a bucket, and a fucking mop.
150
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,901
You move,
I will fucking kick your ass.
151
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,319
No fucking cheating either.
152
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,101
Don't tell
Janitor Jim I stole this.
153
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,628
Not that he understands
a word anybody says anyway.
154
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,501
Did you put the key back?
155
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,427
You're in luck.
Giving you a five-minute break.
156
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,509
Found you a little present.
157
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,310
Where'd you get that?
158
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,264
- Apartment 417.
- You stole it?
159
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,941
So? Bunch of fuckin' nerds.
160
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:19,361
Look. It's your
little kid Pac-Man game.
161
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,439
And some fuckin' caveman.
162
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,023
- No, that's Billy Mitchell.
- Hmm.
163
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,779
Says he's got a contest.
164
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:29,371
- Can I see it?
- Hundred thousand dollars.
165
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,494
- Come on. Let me see.
- You want it? Grab it.
166
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,917
Come on. Grab it.
167
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,878
I call challenge break.
168
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,331
I call disqualified!
169
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,377
Hoo!
170
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,842
- Says you gotta beat his record.
- What's his record?
171
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,677
Couldn't get past level 256.
172
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,890
This Mitchell sounds like you.
173
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,317
"If you want to attach
your name to a record,
174
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,611
"if you want your name
written in history,
175
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,030
"you have to pay a price."
176
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,482
Fuckin' homo.
177
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,780
Cam, can I please see it?
178
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,236
Beat 256. That's it.
179
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,618
What would you even do
with $100,000?
180
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,785
- I'd buy a jet.
- What?
181
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,961
Or a boat. Go to California.
182
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,167
You'd go from Michigan
to California on a boat?
183
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,293
Yeah.
184
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,006
Look at this.
Some Chinese kid with a bowl haircut
185
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,637
named Jeffrey Yee did it in 1982.
186
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,810
Reagan even sent him a letter.
187
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,387
Yee claims he videotaped it,
and then lost the tape.
188
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,892
Fuckin' lame.
189
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,021
You know, Dallas just got some
bootleg Pac-Man tapes sent to him
190
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,477
from his Uncle Bodo in Nepal.
191
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,733
- Maybe that's it.
- Oh, fuck that!
192
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,531
Dallas is such a liar,
and you know it.
193
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:49,030
No, he traded half
his two-headed snake for it.
194
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,038
What?
195
00:13:50,039 --> 00:13:52,497
He traded half
his two-headed snake for it.
196
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,332
Break's over, Sweetchuck.
Back to the challenge.
197
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,250
Where's that milk jug?
198
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,919
No... what? No!
199
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,921
Y... you said just eight baby bottles.
200
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,944
That's not what I said.
Besides, I want the jug in the shot.
201
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,405
We're making fuckin' art here.
You've gotta finish off that milk jug.
202
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,546
- Where is it?
- No, you said specifically
203
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,326
- it was just eight baby bottles.
- That's not what I said.
204
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,494
- That was the finish of the challenge.
- You gotta finish all the milk!
205
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,510
If you don't consume
all of the milk...
206
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,484
- That's not what you said, Cam!
- You heard me.
207
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,146
- No, you said...
- That is the rules.
208
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,872
- Yeah, but...
- "But"
209
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:23,269
Oh, look, there it is.
Yes.
210
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,276
Right, so you gotta finish
all the milk in the jug,
211
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,177
and I don't care
how many bottles it takes you.
212
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,928
- That's what I said.
- No, it isn't. You said...
213
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,597
- That's exactly what I said.
- No, it isn't.
214
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,864
You said as soon as like eight of 'em
are done, then that was it.
215
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,186
- That's not what I said.
- And you can't even refill it. The top...
216
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,418
That's not the rules.
The challenge explicitly stated
217
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,128
if you don't consume all the milk
that was in the jug,
218
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,581
then you lose.
219
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,527
You can't just fill it
when the top is on already!
220
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,043
You know what? Fuck it.
I'm gonna tell you one thing one time.
221
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,074
- This is not right, Cam.
- You have quit everything in your life.
222
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,159
And you're finally getting close
to finishing a challenge.
223
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:55,426
Look, I just topped it off.
Now, we got round eight.
224
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,389
It's going to start
in three, two, one...
225
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,602
Three minutes.
226
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,395
Come on.
227
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,481
We're all rootin' for ya.
228
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,988
You got this.
229
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,788
You quit?
230
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,410
You can do it.
231
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,120
There you go.
232
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,206
Just put it to your lips.
233
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,296
Suck it down.
You're almost there.
234
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,264
Got it.
235
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,512
That's good.
236
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,816
Wh... whoa.
237
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,064
It's pretty rotten.
You should smell it.
238
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,362
No way. I smelled it already.
239
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,731
It's definitely rotten.
That makes it better.
240
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,028
This is... this is
above room temperature.
241
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,238
That's good. Makes it more...
242
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,993
tasty. It's full-bodied.
243
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,539
No. No. No way.
244
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,252
Time's ticking.
245
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,299
You just gonna quit again?
246
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,628
I'll be okay.
247
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,009
You have no survival skills.
You know that? None.
248
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,886
You barely survive on this couch.
249
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,391
You still don't believe it? Huh?
250
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:25,020
So this very specific numerical algorithm
which controls the date and time,
251
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,296
which in turn controls
the motherboard of the computers,
252
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,028
won't be entirely fucked
when everything flips to zeroes?
253
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,634
You own one thing. It's not even
gonna work six months from now.
254
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,651
There ain't no Nintendo
in the Y2K.
255
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,705
Don't fuckin' quit.
All right?
256
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,668
You are this close to finishing
257
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:48,748
the first fucking challenge
you have ever fucking completed.
258
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,174
Are you really gonna
fucking give up?
259
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,751
Fucking serious, man.
260
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,050
You got 60 seconds.
261
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,426
You got this.
262
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,852
Just suck that thing down.
263
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,934
Put it in your mouth.
264
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,310
Come on.
265
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,322
Fuck, man.
266
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,153
Thirty seconds.
267
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,784
Abbie, you can do this.
268
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,794
Twenty, nineteen, eighteen,
269
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:34,126
seventeen, sixteen,
fifteen, fourteen...
270
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,133
Fuck! Get the bucket!
Get the bucket!
271
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,805
Fuck!
272
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,478
I knew I should have borrowed
Jim's fuckin' tarp.
273
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,317
Where's my fucking keys?
274
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,612
Do we have any Popsicles?
275
00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:00,365
Get up and get it yourself.
This challenge is over.
276
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,989
I'm too sticky to get up now.
277
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,995
We got any blue ones left?
278
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,995
On the floor, Mongo.
279
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,124
Hit the streets, homeless.
280
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,084
- Oh, but y...
- "But."
281
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,176
Fuck!
282
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,938
One more challenge.
283
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,276
One more final,
ultimate challenge.
284
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,608
- You're not gonna just quit?
- I won't.
285
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,280
You will.
286
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,232
- I quit quitting.
- What?
287
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:40,909
I quit quitting.
288
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,575
Fine.
289
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:55,503
One last ultimate challenge.
290
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,946
Regulations still in effect.
You don't get off this fucking couch.
291
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,086
Name it.
292
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,764
What are you doing?
293
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,190
Come on.
294
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,235
Cam.
295
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,580
Fuckin' gross, man!
296
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,867
Level 256.
297
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:31,961
What?
298
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,129
You get past level 256.
299
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,959
You beat that fucking record,
you fucking collect that money,
300
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,588
you show up that caveman,
301
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,012
and then you go live
with Daddy Dearest forever.
302
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,761
Rules apply.
No getting off this couch.
303
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,261
- Stretch breaks?
- Nope.
304
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,061
- Can I lay down?
- No!
305
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:53,231
You do not leave this couch
until the challenge is completed.
306
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,113
Challenge accepted.
307
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,358
Are you sure?
308
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,614
Challenge accepted.
309
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,158
Okay.
310
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,797
Well, how long do I have?
311
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,000
Till I get back.
312
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,177
- Well, you coming back tonight?
- Nope.
313
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,129
- Tomorrow?
- Who knows?
314
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,426
Can I come with?
315
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,133
Are you quitting already?
316
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,593
No.
317
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,055
I'm gonna take pity on you.
318
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,710
I'm gonna give you
until New Year's Eve.
319
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,068
That's right, son.
You have until the Y2K.
320
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,271
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
321
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:42,724
You're gonna stay on that couch
and you're gonna protect it.
322
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,405
Fuckin' relax!
323
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,156
Probably be done before tonight.
324
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,533
You gotta tape it.
325
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,615
Think you can handle that?
326
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,998
Think you can aim this at the TV,
press the little red button?
327
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,913
Gonna be able to
take care of yourself?
328
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,087
Be able to keep in all
your pee-pee and your poo-poo?
329
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,835
Where's my keys?
330
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,915
- Where the fuck are my keys?
- Does Chuck E Cheese deliver?
331
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,465
Call fuckin' Domino's.
332
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,103
Goddamn it.
333
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,140
I had two knives and a set of keys
on this fucking counter.
334
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:19,067
Where's João's knife,
and where's my fuckin' keys?
335
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,816
- Did you fucking touch my keys again?
- No way, José.
336
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,363
"José"?
337
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,191
What you know about José?
338
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,323
Aha!
339
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,578
Huh?
I'll tell you about José.
340
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:37,536
José Domingo. He's an old fisherman,
lived down in Mexico.
341
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,713
Lived on the beach.
He fished all day.
342
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,040
And you know what?
343
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,987
What he didn't eat for lunch or dinner
at the end of the day, he sold off.
344
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,799
And one day, along
come the white man. Yeah.
345
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:49,222
American businessman
on Mexico vacation
346
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,016
comes up to José and says,
"I got a suggestion for you.
347
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,310
"Why don't you hire somebody
to do your fishing,
348
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:57,013
"and somebody
to run that stand for you?"
349
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,689
Old José gives it a try.
350
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:01,268
Next day he makes three times
as much money.
351
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,445
Here come that
American businessman again.
352
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:07,240
He says, "José,
I got another suggestion.
353
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,194
"You should hire
an entire fleet of fishermen."
354
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:11,890
Next thing you know,
José's sitting up in that office,
355
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,058
sitting behind a mahogany desk.
356
00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:15,199
He got a hundred employees
in his corporation.
357
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,329
There go 40 years.
358
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:20,708
All of the sudden, José's an old man.
He can barely walk.
359
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:22,585
He decides
it's time for retirement.
360
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,509
You know what he does?
361
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,380
I asked you a question!
Do you know what he does?
362
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,089
No. What? I don't...
What does he do?
363
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,891
He goes and lives on the beach,
fishing all day,
364
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,747
selling off what he doesn't eat
at the end of the day,
365
00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:37,182
happy as shit!
366
00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:39,598
And nobody bothering him.
367
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,440
So?
368
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,273
The American Dream.
369
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:53,286
Am I him?
370
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:58,951
Get to fuckin' work.
371
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:02,962
- I'll see you when you're dead.
- What?
372
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,342
Don't take no shits
on my couch.
373
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:13,131
- Get to work.
- Are you coming back?
374
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:16,643
Cam!
375
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:30,111
Dallas. Hey,
I'm in a challenge emergency.
376
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,533
Need you to bring over
a Chuck E Cheese pizza, a large,
377
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,361
a cherry cola, two-litre...
378
00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:37,948
I'll pay you when you get here.
379
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:40,375
Hey, you know that Pac-Man tape
that your uncle gave you?
380
00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:43,249
- Hell yeah, dude.
- I need you to bring that with you, too.
381
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:48,462
Oh, hey, and I need you to do
a secret knock when you get here.
382
00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:50,418
I need to make sure
it's not Arin.
383
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:52,219
Okay, here it goes.
384
00:23:58,646 --> 00:23:59,853
Do it back.
385
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:04,019
That's not right.
386
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,362
What, tomorrow?
387
00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,075
No, I.. I can't wait that long.
What are you doing right now?
388
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:18,371
Hello?
389
00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:21,124
Hello?
390
00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,873
Well, why don't you deliver?
391
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:28,507
No, it's not a birthday party.
It's a challenge.
392
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,254
And it needs to be a delivery.
393
00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:33,845
Is this Brad Matusak?
394
00:24:33,931 --> 00:24:35,388
Hey, this is Abner Harmeyer.
395
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:37,431
Abbie.
396
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:42,724
Hello?
397
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,281
Come on, dude,
open the door!
398
00:24:57,538 --> 00:24:59,029
Ssh-ssh.
399
00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,082
Do the secret knock.
400
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:04,168
Well...
401
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,426
- What was that?
- I don't know. The Olympics song?
402
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,550
Th... the fuckin' secret code?
403
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,132
Whatever, dude.
Fuckin'jig is up. It's me.
404
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:22,515
- Just use the key.
- Where's the key at?
405
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,392
- Same spot.
- Where's the fuckin' same spot?
406
00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:27,223
Think above your head.
407
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:29,434
Are you fuckin' doing
Maya Angelou shit or something?
408
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,144
What the fuck are you saying?
409
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:33,104
I... it's just...
It's above the door.
410
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,985
Thank you.
411
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,410
Don't gotta yell at me,
all pissed off and shit.
412
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,811
It's always in the same spot.
413
00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:46,121
Yeah, like your ass.
414
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:48,043
- Did you put the key back?
- Yeah.
415
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:50,417
It smells like fuckin' mouth farts
up in here, dude.
416
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,214
Where's the Chuck E Cheese?
417
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:53,758
Dude.
418
00:25:53,844 --> 00:25:56,177
Brian Pontiac told me that fuckin'
Cam got footage of you
419
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:58,220
like spewing milk
all over the place, dude.
420
00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:00,299
I wanna see that shit.
That's what I came for.
421
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:03,260
- What fuckin' tape is it on?
- Just forget about that.
422
00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:05,457
I ain't gonna forget about it.
That's the shit I came over for.
423
00:26:05,481 --> 00:26:08,474
If I had my own Hi-8 tape player,
I'd fuckin' watch it at home.
424
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:11,981
But I still need the fuckin' tape.
Which one is it?
425
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:14,233
- Just don't worry about it.
- It says "first drive".
426
00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:16,406
You got video of your first time
you fuckin' drove?
427
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,449
One of 'em.
428
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:20,492
How can you have multiple
first times you drove?
429
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:21,579
It's...
430
00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:24,497
multi-cam.
431
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,706
Oh, shit. Is this your birthday
when you fuckin' cut your knuckle?
432
00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:32,122
- Does it say "15th"?
- Mm-hmm.
433
00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:34,299
- Yeah.
- We should fuckin' watch that, too.
434
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:36,797
Well, dude, get your fuckin' ass up.
Here, help me find this.
435
00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,847
I can't get up.
It's part of the challenge.
436
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:40,909
Fuck the challenge. Put that
shit on pause for five minutes,
437
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:42,174
just to help me find the tape.
438
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:43,348
No.
439
00:26:44,686 --> 00:26:46,206
All right, then I
fuckin' challenge you
440
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,763
to get up and help me
find the tape.
441
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:51,816
I can't do a challenge when I'm
already on another challenge.
442
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:53,922
Jesus Christ. All right, then I
challenge you to challenge me
443
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:56,814
- to challenge you not to get up.
- I don't even know what that means.
444
00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:59,511
Doesn't fuckin' mean anything.
Just get off the couch like a normal person.
445
00:26:59,535 --> 00:27:02,073
You're in this fuckin' challenge
vortex of retardedness.
446
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:05,155
- Why don't you have the pizza?
- Fuckin' Brad Matusak was there, man.
447
00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:07,409
I hate that dude.
Him and his little fuckin' butt-hole.
448
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:09,979
He spilled chili cheese on my
work pants, didn't even apologise.
449
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:12,285
- You shouldn't say that.
- Say what? "Little butt-hole"?
450
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:14,376
- No. "Hate."
- Oh, sorry.
451
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,925
I didn't mean to fuckin' infringe
on your sensitivity and shit.
452
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:20,469
- It's hot in here, man. I...
- No shit.
453
00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:22,923
Can you open this window for me
and prop it with something?
454
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:25,349
- Jesus Christ.
- Could you, please?
455
00:27:25,435 --> 00:27:27,392
- Here. Will this work?
- Yes.
456
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,688
For fuck's sake, dude.
457
00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:33,266
Didn't realise I was
your fuckin' personal assistant.
458
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:40,736
Dude, it smells ill. Where...
seriously, where are you shitting?
459
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,658
Dude...
460
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:45,282
And since there's no pizza,
would you just grab me
461
00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:47,952
one of my baloney sandwiches
from the kitchen, please?
462
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:50,158
- That'd be great.
- All right. I'm on it.
463
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:51,584
Yes, Your Highness.
464
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:57,586
Man, I don't see
anything in here, dude.
465
00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,838
Well, did you look
in the microwave?
466
00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:03,596
- Did I what?
- In the microwave.
467
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,160
I'm not looking in the microwave,
I'm looking in the fridge.
468
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:06,870
- Some Mother Hubbard shit.
- Well, check the microwave!
469
00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:08,135
Why would I... fuck.
470
00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:10,933
Your light's tweakin' out, dude.
471
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,731
- It's my night-light.
- Night-light? It's an epileptic light.
472
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:16,045
- Just leave it alone.
- I'm not gonna touch your light, dude.
473
00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:17,901
I ain't an electrician.
474
00:28:21,158 --> 00:28:22,945
- Did you find 'em?
- I'm looking.
475
00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:26,782
They should have
two holes in 'em.
476
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,783
I'm lookin'.
477
00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:33,855
I need both of them, though.
I gotta ration 'em out.
478
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:36,872
- Mm-hmm.
- What are you doing?
479
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:40,129
Nothin'. I'm fuckin'
looking for your sandwiches, dude.
480
00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:53,141
I found it.
481
00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:00,527
That shit's hard as fuck, dude.
482
00:29:00,614 --> 00:29:02,842
- That's, like, an antique sandwich.
- There's just the one?
483
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:04,357
That's all that was there.
484
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:07,951
- What are those? Popsicles?
- They were.
485
00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:11,031
They're fuckin' like liquid
Jolly Ranchers now. Shit melted.
486
00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:15,792
Were you drinking the Kool-Aid?
487
00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:18,792
- I don't even like Berry Blast.
- How'd you know it was Berry Blast?
488
00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:23,502
I wasn't wheezin' your juice, dude.
Stop giving me that accusatory look.
489
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:27,214
Well... did you bring the
two-litre cherry cola, at least?
490
00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:29,765
- Yeah. You got the money?
- I'll owe you.
491
00:29:29,851 --> 00:29:31,717
Fuck that.
492
00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:34,270
The shit ain't free, dude.
It's fuckin' 89 cents.
493
00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:36,222
Come on, man.
494
00:29:36,316 --> 00:29:39,184
I know you got a knife in the couch.
Just give me that. I'll trade you.
495
00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:41,256
- Man, I don't have a knife.
- I know you got a knife.
496
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,240
Just fuckin' trade me that,
and we're even Steven.
497
00:29:43,323 --> 00:29:46,191
- I got no knife.
- All right, then show me the money.
498
00:29:46,368 --> 00:29:49,327
Fuckin' show me the money,
fuckin' Jerry Maguire style.
499
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,871
Look, soon I'm gonna have
a lot of money.
500
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:53,914
I'm gonna have, like, $100,000.
501
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,368
Yeah, right.
502
00:29:56,461 --> 00:29:59,374
- No, really. I'll pay you then.
- Just fuckin' show me the money, dude.
503
00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:01,421
- Look...
- You fuckin' seen Jerry Maguire?
504
00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:03,420
- You know what I'm talkin' about?
- No.
505
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:06,378
"Show me the money!"
Fuckin' Thomas Cruise style.
506
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:07,782
- I don't know...
- You should see it, though,
507
00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:10,368
because it's got Jerry Cantrell
from fuckin' Alice in Chains in it.
508
00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:13,100
He plays, like, a fuckin'
Kinko's, er... employee.
509
00:30:13,186 --> 00:30:15,303
There's a part where
Thomas Cruise comes in,
510
00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:18,209
and he's got, like, a mission statement
he fuckin' stayed up all night and wrote...
511
00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:20,725
- Okay, look, I...
- I'm just trying to fuckin' tell you...
512
00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:22,380
- You should see the movie.
- Yeah, I know.
513
00:30:22,404 --> 00:30:24,396
I'm gonna have $100,000 real soon.
514
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:26,489
Fuckin' Cuba Gooding Jr
won an Oscar for the movie.
515
00:30:26,575 --> 00:30:28,532
- Who?
- Fuckin' Cuba Gooding Jr.
516
00:30:28,618 --> 00:30:31,156
Look, man, I promise...
517
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,975
He plays the football player that
Tom Cruise's character takes on as a client
518
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:37,333
- when no-one believes in him.
- How come no-one believes in him?
519
00:30:37,461 --> 00:30:39,794
Because he left a high-end
agency on his own.
520
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,720
He was trying to be
a maverick of the industry,
521
00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:44,420
and base himself on ethics
rather than just money.
522
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:47,047
So, with that said,
fuckin' show me the money.
523
00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:49,845
- I told you, I'm gonna pay you later.
- No, fuck that. Fuck paying.
524
00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:51,797
Challenge me.
525
00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:54,259
- Let's do a challenge for the pop.
- Challenge you?
526
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:56,348
To do what?
527
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:01,691
- Oh, you've had two of 'em?
- Hell, yeah.
528
00:31:01,777 --> 00:31:03,018
Two-litre hands.
529
00:31:04,154 --> 00:31:06,020
- Well, hand.
- Hands.
530
00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:07,571
- Hand.
- Two-litre hands.
531
00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:10,240
- No, hand.
- Hands.
532
00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,031
- Hand.
- Hands.
533
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,361
- Han-duh.
- Hands.
534
00:31:13,455 --> 00:31:15,037
- Han-duh.
- Hand-suh.
535
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:17,240
- Han-duh.
- Hand-zzz.
536
00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:19,371
No. 'Cause I need one of them.
537
00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:21,123
- Hands.
- Han-duh.
538
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:23,705
Are you fuckin' blind?
Hands. Two hands, dude.
539
00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:25,506
Right, but one of 'em's
gonna be mine.
540
00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:28,946
Oh, you don't think I can
drink all this shit?
541
00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:30,573
- You see, I know all about...
- Last week, during a shift,
542
00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:32,867
I drank a whole fuckin' three-litre
and two fuckin' belly busters.
543
00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:35,008
I didn't even piss.
With the fuckin' AC blastin'.
544
00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:36,829
Yeah, I know. You've been
bragging about it to everybody.
545
00:31:36,853 --> 00:31:38,122
That's why I'm not
gonna challenge you.
546
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:40,706
Yeah, because I got a strong-ass dick
with pinching capabilities.
547
00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:42,811
I don't challenge you.
548
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:49,355
Fuck it.
I'll challenge myself.
549
00:32:07,134 --> 00:32:08,134
Fuck.
550
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:20,185
Help me with this shit, dude.
551
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:23,584
- Here, fuckin' grab it.
- Get out of the way, man!
552
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:25,144
Help me spin this shit.
553
00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:29,674
Help... here, fuckin' put it...
I can only get my fingers on it right now.
554
00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:31,985
Let me drink one.
555
00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:35,409
This one's regulation right here.
It's the second hand that always... fuck!
556
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,195
- Here.
- No, you...
557
00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:38,433
- Just fuckin' pull it.
- Get out of the way!
558
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:39,934
- Do it around my hand, dude.
- What are you...
559
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:41,602
Fuckin' Indiana Jones
this shit around you.
560
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:49,590
"Baby, you make me wish I had
three hands." What movie's that?
561
00:32:49,676 --> 00:32:52,760
- Can I have some?
- Fuckin' Total Recall, dawg.
562
00:32:52,846 --> 00:32:55,634
I gotta put this shit down
on the stool. Hold up.
563
00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:57,618
- Can I have that cup?
- Fuck, no.
564
00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,850
Unless you got some money for it.
565
00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:01,643
Boom! Who am I?
566
00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:05,974
Fuckin' CJ.
Pam Anderson, dawg.
567
00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:07,603
Big-ass titties.
568
00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:09,981
You know her titties
got soda in 'em, too.
569
00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:12,383
Do you have that tape you got
from your uncle? The Pac-Man tape?
570
00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:14,740
Check it out.
Fuckin' gunslinger. Boom.
571
00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:17,739
Fuckin' Texas outlaw right here,
fuckin' pullin' pistols out and shit.
572
00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:19,912
Can I please have some?
573
00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:21,976
You please may not have some, because
you ain't shown me no fuckin' money.
574
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,582
May I please have some money?
575
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,456
What's that fuckin' song?
♪ Money, money, money, money ♪
576
00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:28,287
♪ Money ♪
Fuckin' karate kick right there.
577
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:31,215
No, you're shaking it all up.
578
00:33:31,301 --> 00:33:33,668
- No...
- Fuckin' MTV Grind and shit.
579
00:33:33,762 --> 00:33:36,379
- Come on, man.
- Put me on that shit, I'll be an all-star, dawg.
580
00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,181
Can you do that shit? No.
581
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,011
Oh, shit.
He's put on his glasses.
582
00:33:43,104 --> 00:33:45,346
We got a fuckin' four-eyed,
3-D dickwad over here.
583
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,056
Oh, shit.
I'm really scared now.
584
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:48,836
I's scared that he's never
gonna show me the money.
585
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:51,022
Show me the money.
Show me the money.
586
00:33:51,112 --> 00:33:52,478
Stick your dick in honey!
587
00:33:54,282 --> 00:33:55,398
Please.
588
00:33:57,077 --> 00:33:59,114
Show me the money.
Show me the money.
589
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:00,820
Oh, Jesus fuck!
590
00:34:03,166 --> 00:34:05,783
Oh...
591
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,301
Dude, that was fuckin' insane.
592
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:24,830
I don't know if it was
because I was fuckin' shakin' it,
593
00:34:24,854 --> 00:34:28,063
or if you did some fuckin'
Professor X sorcery-type shit on me.
594
00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:31,187
- Can I please have a drink now?
- I want... you know what I'm sayin'?
595
00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:32,755
Someone steps to you,
they're gonna get fucked with hard
596
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:34,566
if you can do
that mind control shit.
597
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,868
What is this?
598
00:34:47,544 --> 00:34:48,830
- What are you doing?
- Ssh.
599
00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:55,295
What is this?
600
00:34:55,385 --> 00:34:58,048
- Read my mind, dude.
- What?
601
00:34:58,138 --> 00:35:00,157
I wanna see if this mind control shit
you're doing is fuckin' legit.
602
00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:02,639
I wanna know if that was
a freak accident, or if you...
603
00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:04,968
Just read my fuckin' mind.
Scan me.
604
00:35:06,062 --> 00:35:07,678
What am I thinking about?
605
00:35:09,566 --> 00:35:12,086
You're thinking about how you'd
like to give me a drink right now.
606
00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:14,352
Come on, man.
Take this shit serious.
607
00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:16,403
Tell me what
I'm fuckin' thinkin'.
608
00:35:17,574 --> 00:35:20,738
Come on, man. Here, tell me
what my mind is thinkin'.
609
00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:23,069
- Carmen Electra.
- Are you fuckin' serious?
610
00:35:23,163 --> 00:35:25,391
- That's insane, dude.
- You always think about Carmen Electra.
611
00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:27,393
No, I don't, dude, because
my dad got fuckin' cable now.
612
00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:29,353
We got the E Network,
so Brooke Burke is my girl now.
613
00:35:29,377 --> 00:35:32,138
- Then why are you thinking about Carmen Electra?
- I don't even know!
614
00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:34,789
I haven't had a jam session
to fuckin' Carmen Electra in a while.
615
00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:37,382
Can I just please have a drink?
616
00:35:40,263 --> 00:35:43,472
Yeah, I guess so. Let me get you a cup.
Here, I'll put it in this cup for you.
617
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:44,890
Don't...
618
00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:46,683
No! No! St... stop!
619
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,761
What?
620
00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:54,058
Come on. Please.
It's... it's completely wasteful.
621
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,438
Why...?
622
00:36:01,701 --> 00:36:03,158
Dig in, player.
623
00:36:05,038 --> 00:36:07,198
Well, did you at least bring
your uncle's Pac-Man tape?
624
00:36:07,248 --> 00:36:09,456
Yeah. It's in the fuckin'
Popsicle bag. Toss it here.
625
00:36:18,677 --> 00:36:21,260
- How long is this?
- Like, four hours.
626
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,096
Four hours?
627
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,647
Should start in a second.
628
00:36:40,657 --> 00:36:42,273
This shit's fuckin' hypnotic.
629
00:36:54,587 --> 00:36:57,295
No, fuck. Think my uncle
just forgot to rewind it.
630
00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:18,533
If you could play tic-tac-toe
against yourself,
631
00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,019
do you think you could win?
632
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,276
Who, me?
633
00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:24,823
Anyone. I don't care.
634
00:37:26,411 --> 00:37:28,903
Yes. You just have to be
smarter than yourself.
635
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:34,325
That makes sense.
636
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:45,594
If you could have a super power,
which would you do, invisibility or flight?
637
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,507
I don't know. Invisibility.
638
00:37:51,144 --> 00:37:53,101
- Fuckin' sex predator.
- Huh?
639
00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:54,975
You gotta be naked
to be invisible, dude.
640
00:37:55,064 --> 00:37:57,904
Otherwise, you're just a fuckin'
pair of pants and shirt runnin' around.
641
00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:00,226
All right, fine. Flight.
642
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,562
- Pervert.
- What?
643
00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:04,942
You gotta be naked to fly, too.
644
00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:07,491
- Why?
- Solar-powered body.
645
00:38:07,577 --> 00:38:10,240
Oh. Just hit play.
646
00:38:10,330 --> 00:38:12,349
Fine. If I hit play, we'll be
right in the middle of season two,
647
00:38:12,373 --> 00:38:13,559
and won't know
where the fuck we are.
648
00:38:13,583 --> 00:38:15,916
Season two?
649
00:38:22,884 --> 00:38:24,528
Great. I have no idea what's
happening right now.
650
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:26,088
Looks like a fuckin' Pac-Man picnic.
651
00:38:26,179 --> 00:38:27,841
Dallas, what is this?
652
00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:29,909
That's what happens when
you start it right in the middle.
653
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:31,765
What is this?
654
00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:34,288
It's the fuckin' lost season, dude.
They never released this shit.
655
00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:39,895
- This isn't the Jeffrey Yee tape.
- Jeffrey's a poser, dude.
656
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,691
This is a Pac-Man cartoon!
657
00:38:41,778 --> 00:38:44,298
My fuckin' uncle had to trade
half his two-headed snake for this.
658
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:45,633
You think you can buy this
at Media Play?
659
00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:47,614
Try to order that shit.
Good fuckin' luck.
660
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:51,785
I mean, you got this silly tape
that's just some stupid cartoon.
661
00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:54,079
This was an emergency.
662
00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:55,622
Doesn't your dad like cartoons?
663
00:38:56,793 --> 00:38:58,409
What?
664
00:38:58,503 --> 00:39:01,086
- Yeah, you know what I'm sayin'.
- No, I don't.
665
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,585
- Don't they all like cartoons?
- Who's "they"?
666
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:05,667
- I think you know.
- No, I don't.
667
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,547
You fuckin' know, dude!
668
00:39:07,637 --> 00:39:12,257
You come over here, you got no pizza,
you got nothing for me to drink.
669
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:13,950
And then this silly tape
of this cartoon!
670
00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:16,180
Fuck this, dude.
Ungrateful dumb-ass!
671
00:39:16,271 --> 00:39:18,082
- This is supposed to be an emergency.
- Fuckin' challenges.
672
00:39:18,106 --> 00:39:20,387
You know what's challenging?
Fuckin' brain capacity, dude.
673
00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:22,044
- You're fuckin' mentally challenged.
- Put the game back on.
674
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,527
Slow-ass VCR.
Man, you can go eat a butt.
675
00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:33,452
Don't... you'd better not.
Don't! I'm serious, dude.
676
00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:36,075
Don't do that. I'm...
677
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,492
I'm...
678
00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:43,125
I'm serious, dude.
I'll chuck this at you. Don't.
679
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,297
I won't come back.
680
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,383
- Man, stop fuckin' lookin' at me like that.
- Hey!
681
00:39:48,428 --> 00:39:49,464
Oh, you do that...
682
00:39:57,437 --> 00:39:59,498
Throw this shit at you.
You gonna get fuckin' sticky.
683
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:01,263
You're gonna get sticky, dude.
684
00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:03,223
Fuck that! I'm out!
685
00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:08,983
Woot woot!
686
00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:09,413
Oh, Jesus.
687
00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:37,234
Cam?
688
00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:42,988
Did you forget your key?
689
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:56,459
Are you Janitor Jim?
690
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,211
What?
691
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:08,881
What?
692
00:46:08,975 --> 00:46:12,559
Oh.
693
00:46:12,645 --> 00:46:16,514
I bet you're smelling Dallas'
baloney sandwich from the refrigerator.
694
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:18,168
Hey, could you hand me
that cup real quick?
695
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:19,912
I think there's
a little left in the bottom.
696
00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:34,327
I...
I don't actually live here.
697
00:46:49,849 --> 00:46:52,307
You know, I actually need that open,
if that's okay.
698
00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:55,639
What is he saying?
699
00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:57,221
Gas.
700
00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:59,056
Gas?
701
00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:02,518
Bug bomb.
702
00:47:02,611 --> 00:47:04,853
- What does that mean?
- Bug bomb.
703
00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:07,690
Bug bomb?
704
00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:13,612
Bug bomb.
705
00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:18,325
Twelve hours.
706
00:47:18,419 --> 00:47:20,786
You have to be out,
twelve hours.
707
00:47:22,089 --> 00:47:23,250
Understand?
708
00:47:24,717 --> 00:47:27,551
I'm kinda busy right now.
709
00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:30,094
C... could you come back
a little later, maybe...
710
00:47:30,181 --> 00:47:33,674
Get up.
711
00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:34,975
I am looking for eggs.
712
00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:41,064
Right.
713
00:47:41,150 --> 00:47:45,485
I'm on a challenge right now.
Could you tell...
714
00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:06,964
On three.
One, two, three.
715
00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:18,101
Well, how 'bout you
move me over by the kitchen
716
00:48:18,187 --> 00:48:21,021
so I can get something
to eat that way?
717
00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:23,144
Does that... that work?
718
00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:27,148
Holy shit! Bart Simpson?
719
00:48:29,824 --> 00:48:31,611
- Oh.
- Garbage?
720
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,827
I can't...
I can't really see the TV now.
721
00:48:36,956 --> 00:48:40,165
Er...
Give me a number seven.
722
00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:42,163
One more.
723
00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:47,664
It's gonna be pretty hard
to play the video game from here.
724
00:48:50,010 --> 00:48:52,423
It'd be great if you could just
kinda swing me back.
725
00:48:53,013 --> 00:48:54,049
No.
726
00:48:56,434 --> 00:49:00,599
Look, I'm playing this video game,
and if I beat it, I get $100,000.
727
00:49:00,688 --> 00:49:05,023
So, I'll give you 10,000.
728
00:49:05,109 --> 00:49:06,816
What are you talking about?
729
00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:08,839
If you move me back,
then I can beat the video game.
730
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:12,857
But I can't do it from here, so there's...
there's no money that way. You see?
731
00:49:14,743 --> 00:49:16,383
Keep talkin'.
I'm interested.
732
00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:33,194
Hello?
733
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,280
Abbie.
734
00:50:35,324 --> 00:50:36,690
Ma?
735
00:50:36,784 --> 00:50:38,616
It's Arin Bechdel.
736
00:50:42,206 --> 00:50:44,539
Dallas told me
where the key was.
737
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:46,207
I tried calling you.
738
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:50,458
Yeah.
My night-light went out.
739
00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:53,206
Night-light?
740
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:54,836
It's above the sink.
741
00:50:54,927 --> 00:50:58,967
It keeps going on and off,
and it just went off.
742
00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:02,553
Everything's got weird around here.
743
00:51:03,769 --> 00:51:05,351
How long have you
been sitting there?
744
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:09,647
- What day is it?
- Thursday.
745
00:51:10,859 --> 00:51:13,602
- What's the date?
- It's the 25th.
746
00:51:13,696 --> 00:51:14,982
It's Christmas?
747
00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,153
July.
748
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:21,360
- 2000?
- Mm-mmm. Not yet.
749
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:28,000
Well, I've been sitting here
for a few hours, I guess.
750
00:51:28,085 --> 00:51:29,667
Is it okay if I come in?
751
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:31,421
Yeah.
752
00:51:33,424 --> 00:51:36,167
I brought a newspaper.
You like comics, right?
753
00:51:40,472 --> 00:51:42,509
You need anything else?
754
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:45,262
No, I'm okay.
755
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:56,444
Abbie, we gotta get this together.
This is not good.
756
00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:59,147
Can I just borrow
the game for one more day?
757
00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:01,695
You're still playin'.
758
00:52:03,746 --> 00:52:05,578
I gotta beat level 256.
759
00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:06,871
What?
760
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:09,074
Cam challenged me.
761
00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:12,584
256?
762
00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:15,298
Yeah.
763
00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:17,669
The Billy Mitchell contest?
764
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:19,422
You know about that?
765
00:52:21,180 --> 00:52:22,546
It's impossible.
766
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,091
What?
767
00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:28,268
Level 256 is a glitch.
768
00:52:30,564 --> 00:52:31,930
Wh... what?
769
00:52:33,734 --> 00:52:35,441
Billy Mitchell can't even do it.
770
00:52:36,695 --> 00:52:38,061
It's not possible, sweetheart.
771
00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:40,530
No, but...
772
00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:44,405
It's a publicity stunt,
the contest.
773
00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:49,410
No, but I can. I can do it.
774
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:51,537
I just need to borrow the game
for one more day.
775
00:52:51,627 --> 00:52:53,084
Can I, please?
776
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,251
Why?
777
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,547
Have you ever been
to California?
778
00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:04,379
Disneyland a few times.
779
00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:08,258
Ch.. check this out.
780
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:20,149
It's for my dad.
781
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:23,949
He lives out there.
I just thought he might need one.
782
00:53:25,994 --> 00:53:27,576
I'm gonna give it to him.
783
00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:31,619
He used to always buy survival stuff
for me and Cam.
784
00:53:33,585 --> 00:53:34,951
Like these.
785
00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:43,134
Yeah, he said they'd help me.
786
00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:47,631
But Mom always told me
to throw 'em away.
787
00:53:48,434 --> 00:53:49,675
So...
788
00:54:01,155 --> 00:54:03,772
Look, maybe this'll help.
789
00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:08,827
There was a kid
named Jeffrey Yee... Wu.
790
00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:12,288
He created a pattern.
791
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:15,666
Yeah. You know about him?
792
00:54:15,753 --> 00:54:19,337
Yeah.
My ex-boyfriend sure did.
793
00:54:21,008 --> 00:54:23,341
So, you can walk
through ghosts,
794
00:54:23,427 --> 00:54:25,589
but you have to use
this pattern.
795
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:29,468
And it has to be
within 1/60th of a second.
796
00:54:29,558 --> 00:54:31,299
Not everybody can do it.
797
00:54:41,779 --> 00:54:43,566
Do you remember
when we worked together?
798
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:45,981
Mmm.
799
00:54:46,074 --> 00:54:48,487
Maybe I could try that again.
800
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,614
Do you still work there?
801
00:54:50,704 --> 00:54:55,324
That wasn't a good week for you.
I'm a nurse now.
802
00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:58,876
- You're a nurse?
- Yeah. Cortez still works there, though.
803
00:55:00,214 --> 00:55:02,251
- How do you know?
- Hmm.
804
00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:06,088
Hey, the car's running.
805
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:09,046
Cortez, I need you
to wait downstairs, please.
806
00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:12,132
Smells like
Uncle Ron's crib up in here.
807
00:55:12,226 --> 00:55:15,765
- Man, turn on some goddamn lights!
- I'll be down in a second.
808
00:55:17,564 --> 00:55:19,647
Look at this skinny-ass punk
sitting on the couch.
809
00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:22,146
What the fuck you doin',
sittin' talking to this motherfuck?
810
00:55:23,946 --> 00:55:25,608
Will you wait downstairs, please?
811
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:32,118
Yo. Yo, what the fuck...
What's your fuckin' name again, bro?
812
00:55:32,204 --> 00:55:36,164
It's, um... some girl's shit, right?
Like Ashley, or some shit like that?
813
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:38,458
- Abner.
- Abbie.
814
00:55:38,544 --> 00:55:39,876
That's right.
815
00:55:39,962 --> 00:55:42,579
So, you know about
this kid's dad?
816
00:55:42,673 --> 00:55:44,209
Don't.
817
00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:45,415
Yo, tell her.
818
00:55:47,511 --> 00:55:48,797
Abbie, don't.
819
00:55:50,264 --> 00:55:52,472
Well, I just know
what people told me.
820
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:56,471
He left when
I was in second grade.
821
00:55:56,562 --> 00:56:00,397
Went to California
and became a truck driver.
822
00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:04,726
And... he was just helping out
some high-school kid with his flat tyre.
823
00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:08,400
I think they were
at a rest stop or something.
824
00:56:08,490 --> 00:56:12,905
And... I don't know.
He's not supposed to be in trouble.
825
00:56:12,995 --> 00:56:15,112
Yeah. Keep goin'.
826
00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:16,286
Cortez.
827
00:56:18,542 --> 00:56:20,704
Well, they
had to go in the restroom
828
00:56:20,794 --> 00:56:23,628
to talk more about the...
the tyre warranty,
829
00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:26,127
'cause it was pouring rain outside.
830
00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:30,176
Or something.
He was just trying to be helpful.
831
00:56:30,262 --> 00:56:32,299
He's really not
supposed to be locked up.
832
00:56:33,724 --> 00:56:35,364
- He got arrested.
- Prison queen.
833
00:56:35,434 --> 00:56:36,800
Cortez.
834
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:42,347
Do you know where Pleasant
Valley Correctional Facility is?
835
00:56:42,441 --> 00:56:45,684
- It might be by Disneyland.
- Oh, my God. Let's go.
836
00:56:45,777 --> 00:56:48,144
This gay-ass shit
up in here, man.
837
00:56:49,489 --> 00:56:51,276
- Cortez.
- Come on.
838
00:56:51,366 --> 00:56:53,028
Define "gay-ass shit".
839
00:56:54,453 --> 00:56:57,036
- Well...
- Come on, tell me. I wanna hear.
840
00:56:57,122 --> 00:56:58,704
- What?
- Tell me.
841
00:56:59,374 --> 00:57:00,831
What's "gay-ass shit"?
842
00:57:02,210 --> 00:57:05,794
I don't know.
Maybe... maybe kissin'.
843
00:57:05,881 --> 00:57:09,090
Rubbin' they dicks together
and shit. I don't know.
844
00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:12,965
- So, you must think about this a lot.
- Oh, come on.
845
00:57:13,055 --> 00:57:17,049
So, you think about this every time
you look at all guys, or just gay guys?
846
00:57:17,893 --> 00:57:18,893
Let's go.
847
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:22,478
So, question for you.
848
00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:25,477
Do you think about sex
every time you look at a woman?
849
00:57:27,444 --> 00:57:29,060
What?
850
00:57:29,154 --> 00:57:31,862
Do you think about sex
every time you look at a woman?
851
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,108
Can we go, please?
852
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:37,444
I'm not going anywhere with you
till you tell me.
853
00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:40,905
Do you think about sex
every time you look at a woman?
854
00:57:44,670 --> 00:57:46,081
No. No, I don't.
855
00:57:46,171 --> 00:57:47,787
- Why not?
- Come on, man.
856
00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:50,965
Martel probably got some big motherfuckers
out here looking for me right now!
857
00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:53,794
- Who the hell is that?
- Shit. Come on. Let's go!
858
00:57:54,554 --> 00:57:56,511
What the fuck
is you lookin' at?
859
00:58:12,948 --> 00:58:13,948
Abbie.
860
00:58:18,620 --> 00:58:19,906
Abbie!
861
00:58:21,415 --> 00:58:23,202
Abbie!
862
00:58:28,130 --> 00:58:31,123
3-D glasses.
The fuck is this bullshit?
863
00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:35,884
You can stay if you want.
I'm outta here.
864
00:58:37,889 --> 00:58:38,970
I can't.
865
00:58:40,100 --> 00:58:42,592
Look. Here, take this.
866
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:47,931
So I can keep the game?
867
00:58:52,654 --> 00:58:53,770
Arin!
868
00:59:02,289 --> 00:59:04,030
Y... you gotta put the key back!
869
01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:22,404
Yeah.
870
01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:07,616
Okay.
871
01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:09,699
Okay.
872
01:03:24,092 --> 01:03:25,799
Okay.
873
01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:27,088
Okay.
874
01:03:28,388 --> 01:03:29,549
Yeah.
875
01:03:31,099 --> 01:03:32,099
Yeah.
876
01:04:54,349 --> 01:04:56,591
Hey, Dallas. I got a challenge.
877
01:04:56,684 --> 01:04:59,472
This one. It's a real emergency.
878
01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:01,895
It's not... no.
879
01:05:01,981 --> 01:05:04,143
I... this is what happened. I...
880
01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:08,311
No, no. It's...
881
01:05:10,115 --> 01:05:11,151
Dallas.
882
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:16,201
Dallas.
883
01:05:19,666 --> 01:05:21,498
No. Help me, man.
884
01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:52,656
Oh.
885
01:05:57,370 --> 01:05:58,370
Oh.
886
01:08:03,788 --> 01:08:05,825
My father, your father...
887
01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,328
were hanging up clothes.
888
01:08:09,502 --> 01:08:12,210
My father punched your father
889
01:08:12,297 --> 01:08:14,710
right in the nose.
890
01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:17,712
What colour was the blood?
891
01:08:17,802 --> 01:08:23,343
R-E-D spells red,
and you are not it.
892
01:08:24,392 --> 01:08:25,508
You're not it.
893
01:08:44,871 --> 01:08:46,612
Oh, God.
894
01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:06,651
Oh!
895
01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:20,506
You are it.
896
01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:57,835
♪ Happy birthday to you
897
01:11:00,131 --> 01:11:05,752
♪ Happy birthday to you
898
01:11:07,722 --> 01:11:11,386
♪ Happy birthday
899
01:11:11,476 --> 01:11:14,560
♪ Dear Abbie
900
01:11:16,189 --> 01:11:23,189
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
901
01:13:15,975 --> 01:13:17,307
That's a tie.
902
01:13:19,562 --> 01:13:20,848
That's a tie.
903
01:13:23,774 --> 01:13:25,106
Tie as well.
904
01:13:29,989 --> 01:13:31,321
They're all ties.
905
01:13:36,078 --> 01:13:37,910
What have we got? Sports.
906
01:13:42,585 --> 01:13:45,498
And sports, sports.
907
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:47,250
Where's the comics, man?
908
01:13:47,340 --> 01:13:48,501
"The Far Side."
909
01:13:54,221 --> 01:13:55,221
Yeah.
910
01:14:02,521 --> 01:14:04,478
"Thank God I'm saved."
911
01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:17,238
Oh! Because
he saved the palm tree.
912
01:14:17,328 --> 01:14:20,071
Saved the palm tree.
"Thank God I'm saved."
913
01:14:26,879 --> 01:14:28,415
"Thank God I'm saved."
914
01:14:29,382 --> 01:14:30,873
But I'm not saved.
915
01:14:31,926 --> 01:14:33,337
I'm not saved.
916
01:14:33,427 --> 01:14:34,463
No.
917
01:14:34,553 --> 01:14:36,715
You know, I... I quit!
918
01:15:43,247 --> 01:15:45,113
Hey, Cam, check this out.
919
01:15:59,972 --> 01:16:01,179
Here we go.
920
01:17:11,544 --> 01:17:12,544
I hate you.
921
01:18:08,225 --> 01:18:11,935
Ten, nine, eight, seven,
922
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:17,267
six, five, four, three,
two, one.
923
01:20:12,016 --> 01:20:13,882
Cam!
924
01:21:31,845 --> 01:21:33,882
Find them Kool-Aid packets?
925
01:21:35,349 --> 01:21:36,760
João!
926
01:21:36,850 --> 01:21:39,308
Fuck. You listening to me?
927
01:21:40,104 --> 01:21:41,104
Shit.
928
01:22:06,255 --> 01:22:07,255
Abbie.
929
01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:24,976
Oh. Hey, Cam.
930
01:22:28,861 --> 01:22:30,318
Oh, hey, João.
931
01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:34,739
Didn't quit.
932
01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:39,493
What are you doing?
933
01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:45,409
Relaxing.
934
01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:50,129
You've been sitting here
this whole time?
935
01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:54,093
Well...
936
01:22:55,137 --> 01:22:56,594
what time is it?
937
01:22:59,641 --> 01:23:01,052
Who knows?
938
01:23:03,854 --> 01:23:05,846
Oh, man.
939
01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:09,057
I've been here since
this morning, I think.
940
01:23:13,197 --> 01:23:14,688
Did I miss Fourth of July?
941
01:23:19,703 --> 01:23:22,286
A... am I dead?
Where is everybody?
942
01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:24,205
Bunker.
943
01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:27,034
- Is Dad there?
- Dad!
944
01:23:27,127 --> 01:23:29,289
You get the toilet paper?
Let's go. Come on, hurry up.
945
01:23:29,379 --> 01:23:30,540
Is he there?
946
01:23:31,757 --> 01:23:34,170
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
947
01:23:34,259 --> 01:23:37,423
He said that, er...
he started walking last week.
948
01:23:37,513 --> 01:23:39,425
He's just out there
looking for some snow boots.
949
01:23:39,515 --> 01:23:43,134
- Really?
- No, fucking idiot. He's probably dead.
950
01:23:43,227 --> 01:23:45,469
People are eating each other
alive out there.
951
01:23:46,313 --> 01:23:47,975
It's just like I said.
952
01:23:51,985 --> 01:23:54,272
I think it's my fault.
953
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:57,488
- I broke it.
- What?
954
01:23:59,284 --> 01:24:00,946
Level 257.
955
01:24:02,162 --> 01:24:03,278
I saw it.
956
01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:16,254
And it's like when we were kids,
and we were riding in the car,
957
01:24:16,343 --> 01:24:18,756
and we'd see a sunset,
958
01:24:18,845 --> 01:24:20,802
and...
959
01:24:20,889 --> 01:24:23,472
the light would come
through the windshield,
960
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,972
and Dad would say,
"That's what it looks like
961
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:28,769
"when a big bomb goes off
in the distance."
962
01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:33,483
And it felt like it could hurt you.
963
01:24:34,653 --> 01:24:36,645
And it did give me headaches.
964
01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:39,902
But I didn't get headaches
this time because I...
965
01:24:39,992 --> 01:24:41,824
I think it's
because of the glasses.
966
01:24:43,579 --> 01:24:45,536
I... it was amazing.
967
01:24:45,622 --> 01:24:50,208
The... crowds of people
were cheering me on.
968
01:24:50,294 --> 01:24:52,206
And there were...
969
01:24:53,839 --> 01:24:57,207
colours, explosions.
970
01:24:57,301 --> 01:25:00,715
It was... it was like
I was in California.
971
01:25:03,765 --> 01:25:05,552
João! Let's go!
972
01:25:06,935 --> 01:25:08,767
Give me a slice of that pizza.
973
01:25:16,695 --> 01:25:19,358
So, you're just gonna sit here
until you die?
974
01:25:22,618 --> 01:25:27,238
No. I'm just gonna relax
for a little while longer.
975
01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:36,295
We could use this.
João, take it.
976
01:25:39,968 --> 01:25:41,709
- What's this shit?
- Hey, don't touch that.
977
01:25:41,803 --> 01:25:43,886
- What is it?
- Hey, be careful. He's sleeping.
978
01:25:45,849 --> 01:25:47,385
- Oh!
- Don't!
979
01:25:48,852 --> 01:25:51,060
Damn. It actually
doesn't look that bad.
980
01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:53,138
- We'll just boil him up.
- No. I mean it.
981
01:25:53,231 --> 01:25:54,722
You want a bite?
982
01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:56,150
Hmm?
983
01:26:00,030 --> 01:26:01,030
Take it.
984
01:26:02,491 --> 01:26:03,652
Come on.
985
01:26:04,534 --> 01:26:06,821
Shit. You can't...
986
01:26:06,912 --> 01:26:09,905
You can't stand up, can you?
987
01:26:09,998 --> 01:26:10,998
Huh?
988
01:26:13,085 --> 01:26:16,419
Put... him... back.
989
01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:21,962
You're not allowed to touch him.
990
01:26:27,724 --> 01:26:29,260
You wanna beat me up?
991
01:26:30,727 --> 01:26:31,888
Hmm?
992
01:26:34,272 --> 01:26:36,605
Try it! Come on!
993
01:26:36,692 --> 01:26:38,479
Take it!
994
01:26:38,568 --> 01:26:41,527
Come on. Stand up.
You hate me, don't you?
995
01:26:41,613 --> 01:26:44,902
You've always fuckin' hated me.
Why don't you just admit it?
996
01:26:44,991 --> 01:26:47,734
Say it!
997
01:26:47,828 --> 01:26:50,115
What the fuck is that?
998
01:26:52,874 --> 01:26:53,955
Holy shit!
999
01:27:00,048 --> 01:27:01,164
We have power?
1000
01:27:04,177 --> 01:27:05,884
What the fuck are you lookin' at?
1001
01:27:08,849 --> 01:27:11,557
Stop fuckin' lookin' at me.
1002
01:27:14,479 --> 01:27:16,391
What are you fuckin' lookin' at?
1003
01:27:18,150 --> 01:27:19,641
Where the fuck are you goin'?
1004
01:27:20,986 --> 01:27:22,978
You stop fuckin'
lookin' at me, all right?
1005
01:27:34,124 --> 01:27:41,124
♪ Peregrinus expectavi
1006
01:27:43,175 --> 01:27:47,215
♪ Pedes meos... ♪
1007
01:27:47,345 --> 01:27:49,007
Stop fucking lookin' at me!
1008
01:27:49,097 --> 01:27:52,340
♪...in cymbalis ♪
1009
01:28:10,952 --> 01:28:17,952
♪ Peregrinus expectavi
1010
01:28:20,545 --> 01:28:27,545
♪ Pedes meos in cymbalis
1011
01:28:29,805 --> 01:28:34,391
♪ Peregrinus... ♪
1012
01:29:05,924 --> 01:29:12,924
♪ Peregrinus, peregrinus... ♪
1013
01:30:15,827 --> 01:30:16,988
You made it.
1014
01:31:06,795 --> 01:31:13,795
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