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1
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Resync: Xenzai[NEF]
2
00:01:03,685 --> 00:01:06,017
Lexx 2.03 Lyekka
3
00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:10,314
All night by the dead Zev.
4
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All night by dead Zev I did lay.
5
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:17,126
If only my tears could be real,
6
00:02:17,958 --> 00:02:20,478
I would rust myself away.
Oh Zev! Zev!
7
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You want me to just -
8
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you want me
9
00:02:57,966 --> 00:02:58,733
to just -
10
00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:00,210
say it?
11
00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:03,757
Yeah, go ahead.
12
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,969
Say what you're thinking.
13
00:03:11,069 --> 00:03:13,692
Er - the thing is, Lyekka,
no-one really notices me much.
14
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,695
and you're popular, even though
some people say bad things about you.
15
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:20,723
but you're different from those
other girls,you're nicer.
16
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,551
So, I was wondering if maybe somehow,
you might, ummm -
17
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,648
You can say it, Stanley.
18
00:03:29,545 --> 00:03:31,662
Consider going to the dance with me?
19
00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:33,712
Me?
20
00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:36,835
Go to the dance with you,
Stanley Tweedle?
21
00:03:37,452 --> 00:03:39,565
Yeah - could be fun.
22
00:03:46,308 --> 00:03:48,683
Girls, you gotta hear this!
23
00:03:49,372 --> 00:03:52,012
he wants to go to the dance with me!
24
00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:57,264
Just
25
00:03:58,282 --> 00:03:59,395
but...
26
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,432
What was that?!
27
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,205
Who's there?!
28
00:04:53,089 --> 00:04:55,563
Lyekka? Lyekka - yes. Stanley?
Lyekka?! I'd like to dance with you.
29
00:05:00,448 --> 00:05:01,762
This is strange.
30
00:05:05,733 --> 00:05:07,168
I was just...
31
00:05:08,038 --> 00:05:10,406
dreaming about you.
32
00:05:10,706 --> 00:05:12,834
and now, here you are.
33
00:05:13,117 --> 00:05:14,606
but that was such a long time ago.
34
00:05:15,105 --> 00:05:18,797
Maybe I am the woman of your dreams.
35
00:05:20,158 --> 00:05:22,116
Maybe.
36
00:05:22,116 --> 00:05:24,088
Once you were, for while.
37
00:05:26,977 --> 00:05:28,466
How did you get here?
38
00:05:29,599 --> 00:05:30,640
I came from your dream.
39
00:05:32,555 --> 00:05:34,078
I don't understand.
40
00:05:34,799 --> 00:05:36,541
I don't understand either - oops.
41
00:05:51,578 --> 00:05:53,536
I'd better go wake up Kai.
42
00:06:12,229 --> 00:06:14,386
Eagle 5, this is Mission Control
43
00:06:14,586 --> 00:06:17,721
We're all green lights down here.
44
00:06:18,094 --> 00:06:19,374
Whenever you're ready, captain.
45
00:06:20,516 --> 00:06:21,578
For generations
46
00:06:22,016 --> 00:06:25,391
we have dreamed of being able to see
into space beyond the Great Ion Veil.
47
00:06:25,774 --> 00:06:28,688
Today, the first men from
our small planet
48
00:06:29,257 --> 00:06:32,037
have begun to travel beyond
that Great Ion Cloud,
49
00:06:32,414 --> 00:06:36,170
that shrouds our small planet
in silence and isolation and
50
00:06:36,498 --> 00:06:37,484
we will...
51
00:06:37,899 --> 00:06:39,059
we will...
52
00:06:40,286 --> 00:06:41,392
er, we will...
53
00:06:41,392 --> 00:06:42,278
begin to see,
54
00:06:43,099 --> 00:06:43,908
what, er
55
00:06:44,431 --> 00:06:46,589
wondrous and great
56
00:06:47,546 --> 00:06:48,422
things -
57
00:06:52,191 --> 00:06:54,403
We're all ears, captain.
58
00:06:55,175 --> 00:06:55,969
So, er.
59
00:06:57,127 --> 00:06:59,527
we the crew of the Eagle 5.
60
00:07:00,228 --> 00:07:03,273
if we do encounter, make
first contact with alien beings,
61
00:07:03,645 --> 00:07:06,469
it is a friendship greeting
62
00:07:06,536 --> 00:07:11,487
from the children of our small
but great planet of Potatoho
63
00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:14,388
It's a great moment in history.
64
00:07:14,707 --> 00:07:16,218
Hull temperature up 70% captain.
65
00:07:18,254 --> 00:07:21,267
Mission control, this is great,
great big goodbye time.
66
00:07:21,605 --> 00:07:23,626
We will enter the Ion Veil in
67
00:07:23,998 --> 00:07:26,682
12 seconds, 10 seconds now, 9, 8...
68
00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:28,083
One great big goodbye to Eagle 5,
69
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:30,778
from all the boys here
at Mission Control.
70
00:07:30,778 --> 00:07:34,183
Talk to you again in 22 months.
Good luck, fellas.
71
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,669
Hull temperature dropping.
72
00:08:31,516 --> 00:08:33,400
Captain, let me be the first to tell you
73
00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:37,497
that weare the first to perforate
the Ion Veil.
74
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:40,673
That's great.
75
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:42,765
Damage?
76
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:45,031
Couple of scratches
77
00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:49,706
but no broken bones.
best as I can tell Captain.
78
00:08:49,706 --> 00:08:54,887
Dig dig! Mash mash! Fat ass!
79
00:08:58,446 --> 00:08:59,507
You hear anything out there?
80
00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:00,952
I hear squat so far, sir.
81
00:09:01,743 --> 00:09:02,694
Ok.
82
00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:04,844
Gentlemen -
83
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,182
we're on our way.
84
00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:31,452
Eyes like jewels, skin sublime,
Zev was the zeviest of all time.
85
00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:35,571
We got a visitor, tin head.
86
00:09:37,234 --> 00:09:38,493
Not interested!
87
00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:42,439
Mouth of an angel,
hair beyond compare
88
00:09:43,546 --> 00:09:47,150
Oh Zev, Zev, Zev,
will you ever be there?
89
00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:49,236
I don't know how it happened,
90
00:09:49,237 --> 00:09:52,292
but there's a girl I used to know,
and now she's on the Lexx!
91
00:09:53,015 --> 00:09:53,618
At least, I think it's a girl.
92
00:09:54,242 --> 00:09:56,192
Please, I'm concentrating!
93
00:09:57,407 --> 00:10:00,373
Hands of gold, buttery thighs,
94
00:10:00,702 --> 00:10:03,473
Breasts that were the perfect size.
95
00:10:04,217 --> 00:10:05,269
Who are you talking about?
96
00:10:06,615 --> 00:10:06,867
Zev of course.
97
00:10:07,271 --> 00:10:09,757
you pale imitation of the human
female form.
98
00:10:22,374 --> 00:10:23,797
You have need of me?
99
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:25,294
Er - yeah, I think so.
100
00:10:28,888 --> 00:10:30,712
Umm - This is Lyekka. I used to
know a Lyekka, a long time ago.
101
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,761
and I was dreaming about her,
and I woke up, and there she is -
102
00:10:34,441 --> 00:10:36,839
at least I - something that looks like her.
103
00:10:38,777 --> 00:10:40,211
What sort of a thing are you?
104
00:10:40,922 --> 00:10:42,162
A plant, I think.
105
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:44,890
I came from Stan's dream.
106
00:10:46,874 --> 00:10:48,472
It must have been a good dream.
107
00:10:50,322 --> 00:10:51,121
No, not really.
108
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,277
Wait, wait, wait!
109
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,456
The thing is, that she's, um, -
110
00:10:58,256 --> 00:11:00,309
she's smooth, right round the bend.
111
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,533
No sex parts.
112
00:11:02,872 --> 00:11:04,502
And she doesn't know
how she got here.
113
00:11:13,586 --> 00:11:14,900
Isn't this the ultimate fantasy?
114
00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:17,085
Not even close.
115
00:11:18,168 --> 00:11:22,572
The ultimate fantasy is an all expenses
paid dreamdate with a super model
116
00:11:23,086 --> 00:11:24,882
who only wants me for my body.
117
00:11:25,812 --> 00:11:27,049
Which super model?
118
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,361
Any super model.
119
00:11:31,343 --> 00:11:33,938
Bando - you wouldn't know what to do
with a super model if you had one.
120
00:11:35,263 --> 00:11:36,489
Oh, that hurts, Moss.
121
00:11:36,992 --> 00:11:40,545
I would take my super model to a
real expensive restaurant -
122
00:11:41,113 --> 00:11:43,358
fancy, fancy, fancy.
123
00:11:43,358 --> 00:11:45,363
But she can't concentrate
on the food,
124
00:11:45,932 --> 00:11:47,564
cause she's so turned on.
125
00:11:51,353 --> 00:11:52,524
She likes astronauts?
126
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,230
She likes this astronaut - big time.
127
00:11:55,912 --> 00:11:57,630
There's candlelight,
128
00:11:58,392 --> 00:11:59,675
some nice music,
129
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:02,928
everything's real classy.
130
00:12:03,651 --> 00:12:05,642
We got a bottle of real wine,
131
00:12:06,119 --> 00:12:08,657
she starts playing footsie under
the table.
132
00:12:09,756 --> 00:12:10,647
And then?
133
00:12:11,369 --> 00:12:12,726
You mean after dinner?
134
00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:16,611
I give her the big one.
135
00:12:17,643 --> 00:12:20,983
Wait a minute - does Sally Sue
know you're renting out the big one?
136
00:12:20,983 --> 00:12:23,733
Sally Sue is not part of my fantasy.
137
00:12:24,806 --> 00:12:26,810
She's part of my real life.
138
00:12:28,003 --> 00:12:29,384
OK. Fair enough.
139
00:12:31,256 --> 00:12:32,438
What about you, Boosh?
140
00:12:32,777 --> 00:12:33,302
My fantasy?
Yeah
141
00:12:35,108 --> 00:12:36,838
If I had a fantasy, this would be it.
142
00:12:36,838 --> 00:12:38,656
No, no, what's your fantasy?
143
00:12:38,656 --> 00:12:39,177
This.
144
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,046
I've been waiting my
whole life for this moment.
145
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:42,954
You see,
146
00:12:43,874 --> 00:12:46,906
I wanna go down
in the history books as the first,
147
00:12:47,387 --> 00:12:51,489
the very first to come into contact
with intelligent alien life forms.
148
00:12:51,992 --> 00:12:52,988
How about you, Moss?
149
00:12:53,666 --> 00:12:54,786
Being out here your ultimate fantasy?
150
00:12:55,143 --> 00:12:56,127
No siree.
151
00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:57,320
What then?
152
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,497
Values.
153
00:12:59,701 --> 00:13:00,489
I don't get it.
154
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:02,140
Values.
155
00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:04,783
The quiet, good, simple life
we have back on Potatoho.
156
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,867
You see, I like,
I like to be in a garden.
157
00:13:09,677 --> 00:13:11,507
I like to work the soil with my hands,
158
00:13:11,966 --> 00:13:13,697
get everything just right.
159
00:13:15,137 --> 00:13:16,941
And then just as the sun changes,
160
00:13:17,882 --> 00:13:20,654
Becky Boo'll come out on the back
porch and she'll say
161
00:13:21,389 --> 00:13:25,069
"EJ, are you gonna stop playing
around in that silly old garden,
162
00:13:25,825 --> 00:13:28,275
and come in here and start playing
around with me??"
163
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,510
Well, you know what they say captain?
164
00:13:30,873 --> 00:13:31,815
No, what?
165
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:33,906
You can take the boy out of Potatoho,
but you -
166
00:13:34,376 --> 00:13:36,173
- can't take the Potatoho -
out of the boy!
167
00:13:39,422 --> 00:13:41,822
Captain? I think I hear something.
168
00:13:42,653 --> 00:13:44,668
Real distant, but it might be
something interesting.
169
00:13:49,026 --> 00:13:50,262
What are you?
170
00:13:50,701 --> 00:13:52,902
A broken heart in a metal head.
171
00:13:53,394 --> 00:13:57,063
My darling Zev is dead, dead, dead!
172
00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:01,010
Oh, how full and moist your lips.
173
00:14:01,010 --> 00:14:04,033
Oh, how round and choice your hips.
174
00:14:04,754 --> 00:14:07,231
And your voice, so full of glee...
175
00:14:07,843 --> 00:14:10,088
Please be Zev again for me.
176
00:14:10,569 --> 00:14:12,596
Zev was a crew member. She died.
177
00:14:13,756 --> 00:14:15,038
That's all that's left of her.
178
00:14:20,099 --> 00:14:22,656
I like Stanley better than I like you.
179
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:24,190
Why?
180
00:14:24,945 --> 00:14:27,045
I don't like dead things.
181
00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:31,874
I do not understand what she is.
182
00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:34,704
I'm hungry!
183
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,866
Come in.
184
00:14:38,905 --> 00:14:39,924
This is Eagle 5.
185
00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:42,858
Can you identify yourself?
186
00:14:44,212 --> 00:14:45,457
I repeat.
187
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,214
this is Eagle 5.
188
00:14:47,718 --> 00:14:48,933
It seems we have more visitors.
189
00:14:49,148 --> 00:14:50,441
Can you acknowledge?
190
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,766
Great - open house on the Lexx.
191
00:14:52,973 --> 00:14:55,132
I repeat, this is Eagle 5.
192
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:57,846
Can you acknowledge?
193
00:14:58,536 --> 00:15:00,245
We are intelligent.
194
00:15:07,825 --> 00:15:09,878
I don't know if this is such
a good idea.
195
00:15:09,879 --> 00:15:11,932
maybe we should just blast 'em?
196
00:15:12,324 --> 00:15:13,780
They don't show any signs of aggression.
Yet
197
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,295
I like them.
198
00:16:23,481 --> 00:16:25,595
Greetings,
199
00:16:25,933 --> 00:16:27,971
from the children of the planet
200
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,872
Potatoho
201
00:16:31,777 --> 00:16:33,015
This is -
202
00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:35,752
a potato..
203
00:16:35,752 --> 00:16:37,734
It is a symbol
204
00:16:37,734 --> 00:16:39,508
of the fertile soil
205
00:16:40,769 --> 00:16:43,810
of our beautiful planet.
206
00:16:46,045 --> 00:16:48,050
I am -
207
00:16:49,746 --> 00:16:51,169
EJ Moss
208
00:16:51,739 --> 00:16:53,019
Moss
209
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,002
captain
210
00:16:55,756 --> 00:16:57,344
of the Eagle 5.
211
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:02,394
And er, this is LL Boosh..
212
00:17:02,865 --> 00:17:05,134
He is the science officer.
213
00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:11,201
and this is PT Bando.
214
00:17:11,594 --> 00:17:16,421
he is the, er, the flight officer,
the flight officer, navigator -
215
00:17:17,033 --> 00:17:18,162
We can understand you.
216
00:17:18,818 --> 00:17:20,329
You can?
217
00:17:21,971 --> 00:17:22,419
Yes
218
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:23,714
we can.
219
00:17:25,072 --> 00:17:25,674
I am -
220
00:17:26,354 --> 00:17:27,620
Stanley Tweedle,
221
00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:29,636
captain of the Lexx.
222
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:33,237
Er - you can, you can take off
your helmets.
223
00:17:34,562 --> 00:17:35,548
Well
224
00:17:50,171 --> 00:17:53,337
um - what is the Lexx?
225
00:17:55,176 --> 00:17:58,132
Er, well, Lexx - why don't you
tell them who you are?
226
00:17:58,603 --> 00:18:00,816
I am the Lexx.
227
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:10,280
Hi, Hi... And I'm Lyekka.
Yeah, well, Lyekka's, um, er, well -
228
00:18:10,281 --> 00:18:12,004
Lyekka's actually, well,
pretty difficult to explain
229
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,642
You're humanoids. You're humanoids!
230
00:18:22,264 --> 00:18:22,964
Hi, hi. You're humanoids.
Hi, how are ya?
231
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,422
Well, I definitely am.
232
00:18:29,048 --> 00:18:31,174
Lyekka - I'm not, well, I think
she's a plant,
233
00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:34,686
and Kai - well, Kai was
234
00:18:35,508 --> 00:18:36,066
You were?
235
00:18:36,723 --> 00:18:37,499
Yes I was,
236
00:18:37,849 --> 00:18:40,314
until I died, 2009 years ago.
237
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,815
You - wow.
238
00:18:47,901 --> 00:18:48,580
Isn't that something?
239
00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:02,744
OK. Well, This is
the cryochamber here.
240
00:19:03,061 --> 00:19:04,723
This is a cryopod, and er -
241
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:07,594
Is that where you sleep?
242
00:19:09,552 --> 00:19:11,439
No, no, no - Kai stays in this one,
243
00:19:11,877 --> 00:19:13,480
this one, open one,
244
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:16,655
and this is the cryopod control unit.
245
00:19:19,009 --> 00:19:22,316
and um - oh look, here, here,
right here.
246
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:27,964
This is 790. He's a semi
intelligent robot head.
247
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,274
with the emphasis on semi!
248
00:19:29,515 --> 00:19:31,471
Get lost, creeps, all of you.
249
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:35,205
Leave me alone with the most perfect
woman who ever lived.
250
00:19:35,412 --> 00:19:37,856
Yeah, we used to have another
crew member. Her name was Zev.
251
00:19:38,073 --> 00:19:41,719
She got blasted into that gooey
protein in that jar there.
252
00:19:42,069 --> 00:19:43,164
What was she like?
253
00:19:43,164 --> 00:19:46,613
You heard me. The most perfect woman
who ever lived.
254
00:19:46,613 --> 00:19:49,997
The most perfect woman who
ever could be.
255
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,109
Zev and I..
256
00:19:54,292 --> 00:19:56,689
didn't, er - but she was OK.
It's too bad.
257
00:19:59,061 --> 00:20:00,667
She's nice!
258
00:20:01,213 --> 00:20:03,066
Ah! Kai, kill her at once, please!
259
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,070
She's eating my darling Zev!
260
00:20:05,364 --> 00:20:06,928
I will not do that, 790.
261
00:20:07,662 --> 00:20:11,714
Yeah, well, 790 has an a
ttitude problem - easily agitated.
262
00:20:12,109 --> 00:20:13,159
Kill him too!
263
00:20:13,411 --> 00:20:14,890
I will also not kill him -
264
00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:16,619
now.
265
00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:19,028
And you call yourself an assassin!
266
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,849
I'm hungry.
267
00:20:23,407 --> 00:20:24,426
and I like you.
268
00:20:24,732 --> 00:20:26,457
OK, well, we'll get you something.
269
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,290
Um - you guys, you guys hungry at all?
270
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,140
Huh - you betcha!
271
00:20:37,947 --> 00:20:42,282
So, just order whatever it is you
like fellas, and Lexx makes it for ya -
272
00:20:43,585 --> 00:20:45,477
most days,
273
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:49,259
if all his special organs are working
right - which isn't all the time!
274
00:20:52,621 --> 00:20:55,460
How, er - how do you recreate
the protein?
275
00:20:56,137 --> 00:20:57,305
Recreate the protein?
276
00:20:59,496 --> 00:21:05,245
Yeah. Well, I assume that you create
diverse and complex foodstuffs
277
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:07,216
from simple protein?
278
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,789
I don't know - who's counting?
279
00:21:13,621 --> 00:21:14,376
Lexx - feed 'em.
280
00:21:15,834 --> 00:21:16,348
Go ahead.
281
00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,019
Yeah? OK, I'll have some - mmm,
282
00:21:20,497 --> 00:21:21,238
potatoes.
283
00:21:22,651 --> 00:21:25,015
Sweet garden potatoes, please.
284
00:21:25,844 --> 00:21:27,136
Scalloped for me, please.
285
00:21:27,835 --> 00:21:30,144
Just a plain order of big old fries
for me please.
286
00:21:43,091 --> 00:21:45,697
Yeah, well, I'm not sure potatoes
are Lexx's strong point,
287
00:21:46,749 --> 00:21:48,237
but it will taste potato-like -
288
00:21:49,212 --> 00:21:50,976
if you use your imagination. Lyekka?
289
00:21:53,757 --> 00:21:55,858
I'm not hungry for potatoes.
290
00:22:00,295 --> 00:22:01,814
So, er - well, what's so great
about Potatoho anyway?
291
00:22:02,078 --> 00:22:04,564
What is it, got a lot of potatoes there,
292
00:22:05,263 --> 00:22:07,344
or is it just shaped like a potato,
293
00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:11,318
or does it smell like a potato?
294
00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:13,316
Let me tell you something, captain.
295
00:22:14,630 --> 00:22:17,335
I'll tell you what the great thing
about Potatoho is.
296
00:22:17,827 --> 00:22:19,340
It's the great people.
297
00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,604
That and our great values.
298
00:22:22,218 --> 00:22:23,487
Isn't that right fellas?
Yes sir
299
00:22:24,604 --> 00:22:27,397
I mean, we may seem backward
to you captain,
300
00:22:28,131 --> 00:22:33,201
but I don't think there's a man of us here'd
exchange any of this for what we got on Potatoho.
301
00:22:34,230 --> 00:22:36,136
I mean, when I think of my, my farm,
302
00:22:36,782 --> 00:22:38,589
my little garden,
303
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:40,603
my Becky Boo,
304
00:22:41,392 --> 00:22:42,026
my girl -
305
00:22:42,616 --> 00:22:44,040
I mean that, that can't be beat.
306
00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:49,199
The only thing that does beat that captain, is snuggling up for a big cuddle with my Sally Sue.
307
00:22:49,603 --> 00:22:50,642
Oh, my Becky Boo -
308
00:22:50,905 --> 00:22:51,803
My Sally Sue -
309
00:22:52,460 --> 00:22:54,772
You have to excuse them, Captain Tweedle.
They get it just about right
310
00:22:54,772 --> 00:22:56,435
except for one little detail.
Oh yeah?
311
00:22:57,278 --> 00:23:00,275
I'm the only man gets to go home
at night to my Mary Moo.
312
00:23:02,142 --> 00:23:03,257
Sure.
313
00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:05,415
She's just great.
314
00:23:06,980 --> 00:23:09,258
You guys are lucky, I guess.
315
00:23:09,510 --> 00:23:11,249
You got girls to go home to.
Yeah
316
00:23:19,456 --> 00:23:20,690
Captain Excuse me. Could you tell me
something? Yes?
317
00:23:22,497 --> 00:23:28,817
Did you ever come across any other intelligent
life forms out in the great unknown yonder?
318
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:31,116
Are you kidding me?!
319
00:23:31,116 --> 00:23:32,365
Where are you guys from?
320
00:23:35,266 --> 00:23:38,528
Captain - our small but great planet Potatoho
321
00:23:39,097 --> 00:23:43,347
is located inside the Great Ion Veil,
322
00:23:43,862 --> 00:23:47,353
so it is blind to any
electromagnetic signals
323
00:23:47,670 --> 00:23:49,794
that might be coming from the great
unknown yonder.
324
00:23:50,068 --> 00:23:52,728
Guess that'd keep ya a bit out of touch.
325
00:23:53,288 --> 00:23:55,518
Captain - how exactly
do you pilot the Lexx?
326
00:23:55,636 --> 00:23:58,132
Drive this thing? Oh, it's very technical.
327
00:23:58,329 --> 00:24:01,433
But actually, all you gotta know
is that Lexx does
328
00:24:01,633 --> 00:24:05,753
what I tell it to, when I tell it to -
me and only me.
329
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:09,069
Well, for instance, if I was to say, er,
330
00:24:09,558 --> 00:24:11,694
Lexx, blow up that small planet -
331
00:24:11,967 --> 00:24:14,156
As you request, Stan.
332
00:24:31,132 --> 00:24:31,712
Good shot.
333
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:35,775
Potato-riffic! Big time!
334
00:24:37,307 --> 00:24:40,099
Captain - where's our capsule?
335
00:24:44,503 --> 00:24:47,283
Well, actually, er, Lexx just
blew it up. Sorry.
336
00:24:55,005 --> 00:24:58,202
So - how are we gonna get back home?
337
00:25:28,337 --> 00:25:29,638
I'm only saying it once.
338
00:25:32,804 --> 00:25:34,639
We'll do one hour recon.
339
00:25:34,639 --> 00:25:37,135
I'll go forward, Boosh, you aft,
Bando, you got the bridge area.
340
00:25:37,135 --> 00:25:38,460
One hour recon, bridge area, check.
341
00:25:38,677 --> 00:25:40,572
One hour aft, check.
342
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:43,815
We'll meet in one hour. Be careful of that guy
with the hair. - One hour. Yes captain.
343
00:25:45,885 --> 00:25:46,793
Watch out for the girl.
344
00:25:46,793 --> 00:25:48,019
Yes sir. I'll just be thinking
of Sally Sue.
345
00:25:49,026 --> 00:25:50,088
And me Mary Moo.
346
00:25:50,328 --> 00:25:51,422
One hour, gentlemen.
347
00:26:20,092 --> 00:26:21,196
Hello? Hi. Who's there?
348
00:26:21,587 --> 00:26:22,294
It's me - Lyekka.
349
00:26:28,557 --> 00:26:29,751
Where are you?
350
00:26:32,740 --> 00:26:33,933
I'm right here.
351
00:26:38,546 --> 00:26:40,013
Are you...
352
00:26:42,213 --> 00:26:43,571
alone?
353
00:26:44,458 --> 00:26:45,871
I'm not alone right now.
354
00:26:46,527 --> 00:26:48,246
I'm with you.
355
00:26:52,374 --> 00:26:54,104
Would you like to have me,
356
00:26:54,881 --> 00:26:56,787
Flight Officer Bando?
357
00:27:01,802 --> 00:27:03,061
No no no, I have a -
358
00:27:03,061 --> 00:27:04,013
What?
359
00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:11,856
Yeah, I would like to have you.
360
00:27:26,851 --> 00:27:28,002
So, er - you know what I am?
361
00:27:30,016 --> 00:27:31,866
You're an astronaut.
362
00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:36,279
I'm a pretty big astronaut.
363
00:27:37,809 --> 00:27:39,620
Big where it counts.
364
00:27:40,386 --> 00:27:41,930
That's great!
365
00:27:42,608 --> 00:27:44,262
You're great!
366
00:27:55,436 --> 00:27:59,694
You can call me Big Boy Bando.
Big Boy Bando.
367
00:28:08,533 --> 00:28:11,107
I bet I'm the biggest boy you ever had.
368
00:28:14,404 --> 00:28:15,553
Who's a big boy?
You're a big boy
369
00:28:18,085 --> 00:28:18,785
Louder!
You're a big boy!
370
00:28:22,881 --> 00:28:24,621
I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy!
I'm Big Boy Bando!
371
00:28:56,801 --> 00:29:00,535
I would like now, on behalf of all
the great citizens of Potatoho,
372
00:29:01,094 --> 00:29:08,049
to take a moment of heartfelt prayer,
373
00:29:08,049 --> 00:29:11,599
And we pray that our boys
374
00:29:11,884 --> 00:29:13,251
will do us proud, that they -
375
00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:13,974
Sir?
376
00:29:14,916 --> 00:29:15,616
Not now -
377
00:29:15,616 --> 00:29:18,118
that our brave boys, who represent
378
00:29:18,119 --> 00:29:20,622
the small but great
planet of Potatoho, will -
379
00:29:21,136 --> 00:29:22,229
Sir?!
380
00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:35,623
Creamy calves, delicious toes.
381
00:29:36,685 --> 00:29:40,255
Zev is gone, oh worst of woes!
382
00:29:40,456 --> 00:29:41,789
Cheer up, pal.
383
00:29:42,567 --> 00:29:44,111
You ain't seen the girls on Potatoho yet.
384
00:29:47,126 --> 00:29:48,494
I can't find -
385
00:29:50,494 --> 00:29:51,744
I can't find Bando!
386
00:29:53,451 --> 00:29:55,356
You go that way, I'll go this.
387
00:31:08,423 --> 00:31:12,081
Hello? Hi. I was really thirsty,
but I'm still kind of -
388
00:31:13,055 --> 00:31:14,620
hungry.
389
00:31:20,919 --> 00:31:22,452
What are you?
390
00:31:22,831 --> 00:31:24,278
I'm Lyekka, silly.
391
00:31:25,648 --> 00:31:27,334
Where'd you come from?
392
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,598
I'm a friend of Stanley's.
393
00:31:32,315 --> 00:31:34,124
Would you like to be with me?
394
00:31:39,901 --> 00:31:42,438
This will be just between you and me, right?
395
00:31:42,898 --> 00:31:44,798
Our little secret?
396
00:31:48,863 --> 00:31:50,735
Touch me.
397
00:32:30,074 --> 00:32:31,496
Did you see that?!
398
00:32:35,211 --> 00:32:36,711
I saw it!
399
00:32:37,772 --> 00:32:40,523
I saw it! We definitely got ourselves
a third stage encounter!
400
00:32:42,581 --> 00:32:45,460
Well, Boosh - why don't you
look after it?
401
00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:47,637
Say hi for us, OK?
402
00:32:47,969 --> 00:32:50,555
I'm gonna be the first to make contact.
403
00:32:53,148 --> 00:32:55,405
Would you like to have me, Boosh?
404
00:32:56,861 --> 00:32:58,723
I can do anything.
405
00:33:01,872 --> 00:33:04,013
Isn't this the ultimate fantasy?
406
00:33:04,582 --> 00:33:05,522
That's great, Boosh. Yeah...
407
00:33:10,891 --> 00:33:12,543
Boosh, I'm right here.
408
00:33:14,437 --> 00:33:15,302
Guys -
409
00:33:15,903 --> 00:33:19,318
we've got a definite alien life form confirmed!
410
00:33:19,662 --> 00:33:20,428
Really?
411
00:33:20,668 --> 00:33:21,664
That's great Boosh.
412
00:33:22,199 --> 00:33:24,533
So you ended up being the very first.
413
00:33:25,967 --> 00:33:27,731
Yeah - you beat us to it, Boosh.
414
00:33:28,884 --> 00:33:31,717
Boosh, turn around, look.
415
00:33:32,842 --> 00:33:34,821
I'm inside now, Boosh
416
00:33:37,863 --> 00:33:40,287
This is truly incredible!
417
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,015
I'm a real live alien, Boosh.
418
00:33:47,406 --> 00:33:51,167
I've been saving this special
potato ever since I was a kid.
419
00:33:51,852 --> 00:33:53,663
I wanted to be the first
420
00:33:53,842 --> 00:33:56,364
to give it to an alien.
421
00:33:57,265 --> 00:34:01,099
Would you also like
to make me feel good, Boosh?
422
00:34:06,084 --> 00:34:07,408
I wanna be the first.
423
00:34:09,927 --> 00:34:11,816
Come closer.
424
00:34:15,351 --> 00:34:17,375
I wanna be the first.
425
00:34:20,158 --> 00:34:23,509
Would you like to be the first
to make an alien feel good?
426
00:34:26,831 --> 00:34:29,137
I wanna be the first.
427
00:34:30,726 --> 00:34:35,600
I wanna be the first
to make an alien feel really good.
428
00:35:19,375 --> 00:35:21,666
Stanley. I have been observing Lyekka,
429
00:35:22,192 --> 00:35:24,784
and searching my memories
to better understand her .
430
00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:27,091
What?
431
00:35:27,572 --> 00:35:30,321
Her food gathering strategy
is to imitate other life forms,
432
00:35:30,682 --> 00:35:33,944
so these targeted life forms will not
act defensively before being consumed.
433
00:35:34,849 --> 00:35:37,208
Lyekka consumed Boosh and Bando.
434
00:35:38,631 --> 00:35:40,437
What, you mean she ate them?
Yes.
435
00:35:43,811 --> 00:35:45,301
Oh, that's just great!
436
00:35:47,940 --> 00:35:49,177
we gonna save Moss?
437
00:35:50,151 --> 00:35:53,348
I have no motivation to save Moss from Lyekka.
438
00:35:54,619 --> 00:35:56,348
or Lyekka from Moss.
439
00:36:08,956 --> 00:36:09,700
Captain?
440
00:36:09,897 --> 00:36:10,718
What?
441
00:36:12,340 --> 00:36:13,533
Where's Boosh and Bando?!
442
00:36:13,533 --> 00:36:13,971
I don't know.
443
00:36:14,704 --> 00:36:16,916
I had a rendezvous with my men 37 minutes ago!
Yeah?
444
00:36:18,108 --> 00:36:20,153
Men from my unit are well trained,
and are never late!
445
00:36:22,060 --> 00:36:23,297
Stan, we're here.
446
00:36:25,859 --> 00:36:26,847
I don't get it.
447
00:36:27,372 --> 00:36:28,521
What don't you get, captain?
448
00:36:28,894 --> 00:36:31,039
You sure you gave me the right
co-ordinates for Potatoho?
449
00:36:31,039 --> 00:36:32,299
I know where my planet is.
450
00:36:32,638 --> 00:36:35,158
Yeah, well, maybe, but we're here,
and it's not.
451
00:36:36,298 --> 00:36:37,238
What are you saying?
452
00:36:37,765 --> 00:36:41,291
I'm saying that it looks like Potatoho
has - gone for a walk.
453
00:36:43,443 --> 00:36:44,835
Don't joke with me.
454
00:36:45,996 --> 00:36:47,753
Well, maybe it's a travelling planet,
455
00:36:48,312 --> 00:36:51,695
or if it's a potato maybe somebody ate it.
456
00:36:53,052 --> 00:36:53,897
That's, that's...
457
00:36:54,499 --> 00:36:55,408
it's, what?
458
00:36:55,408 --> 00:36:55,888
right - oh, oh,
459
00:36:56,391 --> 00:37:01,724
sweet potato,
460
00:37:01,724 --> 00:37:03,707
no, sweet potato -
461
00:37:05,349 --> 00:37:06,598
You blew it up, didn't you?!
No, no!
462
00:37:07,544 --> 00:37:09,050
Yes you did, you blew it up.
463
00:37:09,991 --> 00:37:12,223
First the capsule -
an accident, oh right!
464
00:37:12,553 --> 00:37:15,641
and then my friends, sure,
and now my planet!
465
00:37:15,641 --> 00:37:17,536
Oh god, my Potatoho's gone!
466
00:37:19,892 --> 00:37:21,172
What's that?
467
00:37:28,544 --> 00:37:29,179
What's this?
468
00:37:29,386 --> 00:37:31,532
I did not blow up Potatoho.
469
00:37:32,540 --> 00:37:33,329
What's this?!
470
00:37:34,150 --> 00:37:35,508
I didn't do anything to your buddies!
471
00:37:36,154 --> 00:37:37,457
It's her, it's that!
472
00:37:37,457 --> 00:37:37,982
What?
473
00:37:38,122 --> 00:37:39,551
It's Lyekka, she's a plant!
474
00:37:39,830 --> 00:37:41,648
No she's not, she's more human
than you or me.
475
00:37:41,898 --> 00:37:45,427
No, she's a plant from my dreams that
eats people, Kai told me!! Kai? Yes, Kai.
476
00:37:50,671 --> 00:37:52,467
The robot head said he was an assassin.
477
00:37:53,343 --> 00:37:54,469
That dirty bastard.
478
00:37:55,026 --> 00:37:56,075
Where is he?!
479
00:37:56,075 --> 00:37:57,913
You don't wanna mess with Kai, Moss, trust me!
480
00:37:57,913 --> 00:37:58,989
Yes I do!
481
00:37:59,348 --> 00:38:01,769
It's not Kai you gotta worry about, it's Lyekka!.
482
00:38:03,006 --> 00:38:06,139
Zev, those lips, that kiss you blew.
483
00:38:06,139 --> 00:38:09,127
Zev's the girl I want to -
484
00:38:09,675 --> 00:38:10,605
huh?!
485
00:38:11,764 --> 00:38:12,924
What do you think you're doing?!
486
00:38:12,924 --> 00:38:14,074
Put Zev down!
487
00:38:15,377 --> 00:38:15,991
Horror!
488
00:38:16,407 --> 00:38:17,260
Outrage!
489
00:38:17,260 --> 00:38:18,212
Madness!
490
00:38:18,979 --> 00:38:20,905
Where's the assassin?!
491
00:38:21,451 --> 00:38:24,595
You, whoever you are!
make her put my beloved down!
492
00:38:25,109 --> 00:38:26,412
Where's my buddies?
493
00:38:26,946 --> 00:38:28,740
I kind of ate them.
494
00:38:29,795 --> 00:38:31,646
They were really tasty too.
495
00:38:33,298 --> 00:38:35,784
You heard her - she ate them.
Now kill her!
496
00:38:36,277 --> 00:38:38,961
And then kill yourself - unless there's
others onboard!
497
00:38:39,167 --> 00:38:41,422
If so, kill them first before
killing yourself -
498
00:38:42,025 --> 00:38:43,755
after you return Zev, of course.
499
00:38:44,411 --> 00:38:46,031
Shut up!
500
00:38:49,372 --> 00:38:50,817
Robot heads.
501
00:38:51,802 --> 00:38:53,402
Really dead guys.
502
00:38:53,904 --> 00:38:56,039
Weird little chicks from
who knows where.
503
00:38:56,566 --> 00:38:58,813
Potatoho gone.
504
00:39:03,365 --> 00:39:05,324
I don't know what you know,
little lady -
505
00:39:06,681 --> 00:39:07,964
but I'm gonna find out,
506
00:39:09,036 --> 00:39:10,874
and you're gonna be really sorry.
507
00:39:13,425 --> 00:39:15,977
No! Bring back my Zev!!
508
00:39:23,332 --> 00:39:24,711
What happened?
509
00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:27,586
She took Zev.
I think she might eat her!
510
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,153
Tweedle - I promise you.
If you can somehow save her protein,
511
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:36,076
I'll never say another bad word
about you ever again!
512
00:39:36,437 --> 00:39:37,821
I promise!
513
00:39:41,679 --> 00:39:44,122
Hold on there, missy.
Where's my buddies?
514
00:39:46,452 --> 00:39:47,339
I told you.
515
00:39:47,942 --> 00:39:49,005
I was hungry -
516
00:39:49,464 --> 00:39:50,733
and they were yummy.
517
00:39:50,733 --> 00:39:53,296
Don't laugh at me. I'm having a tough day.
518
00:39:53,799 --> 00:39:55,299
Where's my buddies?
519
00:39:55,867 --> 00:39:57,225
You're not afraid of me?
520
00:39:57,693 --> 00:39:58,447
are you?
521
00:39:59,302 --> 00:40:00,047
Why?
522
00:40:00,572 --> 00:40:03,101
Lady, I'm from Potatoho.
523
00:40:09,442 --> 00:40:11,642
Would you like to make me happy?
524
00:40:16,199 --> 00:40:17,228
What?
525
00:40:18,344 --> 00:40:20,754
I would like to make you happy.
526
00:40:23,491 --> 00:40:25,714
You know, I just don't get
young people these days.
527
00:40:30,957 --> 00:40:32,264
Kai! Don't touch her, she's got Zev.
528
00:40:32,888 --> 00:40:33,885
Get out of my way.
529
00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:37,127
I will make you happy.
530
00:40:38,505 --> 00:40:40,092
Get out of my way.
531
00:40:40,718 --> 00:40:43,717
It's time for little women
to make way for the men.
532
00:40:56,705 --> 00:41:00,695
EJ! Are you gonna play in that silly old garden
all day, or are you gonna play with me?
533
00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:12,820
Garden.
534
00:41:23,269 --> 00:41:24,637
Good garden.
535
00:41:26,677 --> 00:41:28,298
Good virtue.
536
00:41:30,297 --> 00:41:31,835
Drink up.
537
00:41:33,785 --> 00:41:36,325
Garden is virtue.
538
00:41:52,235 --> 00:41:54,727
Cheer up, son.
539
00:41:55,701 --> 00:41:59,227
Garden is value.
540
00:42:02,796 --> 00:42:07,341
Home sweet home Potatoho.
541
00:42:08,698 --> 00:42:10,900
Whatever makes you happy, dear.
542
00:42:20,834 --> 00:42:22,530
Zev! Kai - use your brace!
543
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:23,494
To do what?
544
00:42:23,679 --> 00:42:25,430
Smash it open, get Zev out of there!
545
00:42:27,968 --> 00:42:29,821
Look, don't hurt Lyekka, OK?
546
00:42:30,170 --> 00:42:31,135
Who cares about Lyekka?
547
00:42:31,528 --> 00:42:32,513
She's eating Zev!
548
00:42:32,950 --> 00:42:36,227
Kai, please Kai, shoot, hurry!
549
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:38,986
Wait - Lyekka can tell us what's going on.
550
00:42:38,986 --> 00:42:40,809
Kill the murderer!
551
00:42:41,909 --> 00:42:43,112
Lyekka, where are the other two astronauts?
552
00:42:43,419 --> 00:42:44,504
I ate them both.
553
00:42:45,365 --> 00:42:46,428
they were tasty.
554
00:42:46,428 --> 00:42:48,232
See - she's a killer!
555
00:42:48,493 --> 00:42:50,245
A stone cold killer!
556
00:42:50,693 --> 00:42:52,499
Both - why did you eat the third?
557
00:42:52,718 --> 00:42:53,967
I used his protein,
558
00:42:54,515 --> 00:42:57,888
and Zev's - to make you a present.
559
00:42:57,888 --> 00:42:59,103
A present?
560
00:42:59,381 --> 00:43:01,462
Because I want to make you happy.
561
00:43:02,893 --> 00:43:05,180
I looked inside you while you were sleeping,
562
00:43:05,637 --> 00:43:08,412
and I took the form of a girl I saw there.
563
00:43:08,813 --> 00:43:10,817
I knew right away that I liked you.
564
00:43:11,230 --> 00:43:13,715
What are you talking about,
what present? What - ?!
565
00:44:36,999 --> 00:44:38,018
Xev? You're different
566
00:44:39,650 --> 00:44:41,741
but it is really you!
567
00:44:42,530 --> 00:44:44,806
I had to go on your description.
568
00:44:45,096 --> 00:44:46,430
I hope she's OK.
569
00:44:46,693 --> 00:44:49,060
She's perfect!
570
00:44:50,004 --> 00:44:51,379
I'm back!
571
00:44:59,682 --> 00:45:01,104
I'm not hungry anymore.
572
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:03,896
I have to rest for a while.
573
00:45:04,739 --> 00:45:06,425
Is that OK with you, Stan?
574
00:45:08,270 --> 00:45:09,897
You're OK with me, Lyekka.
575
00:45:13,117 --> 00:45:16,501
But what happens when you
wake up and you're hungry again?
576
00:45:17,092 --> 00:45:18,944
Then I will need to eat again.
577
00:45:19,458 --> 00:45:21,801
We will try to find you a planet
suitable to your needs.
578
00:45:22,923 --> 00:45:24,597
That would be nice.
579
00:45:33,125 --> 00:45:36,563
Sweet dreams.
580
00:45:47,922 --> 00:45:48,426
I, um -
581
00:45:48,685 --> 00:45:50,126
we all missed you.
582
00:45:50,375 --> 00:45:52,713
Not as much as me, maggot brain.
583
00:45:52,948 --> 00:45:56,221
You promised there were going
to be no more insults.
584
00:45:56,517 --> 00:45:57,522
I lied.
585
00:46:08,191 --> 00:46:11,795
Hi. It is nice to see you again, Xev.
586
00:46:12,735 --> 00:46:15,517
Maybe she can help bring you
back to life too.
587
00:46:16,830 --> 00:46:18,297
I do not contain protein.
588
00:46:23,313 --> 00:46:25,441
I guess I'd better get dressed.
589
00:46:25,748 --> 00:46:26,228
How?
590
00:46:26,699 --> 00:46:28,155
Well, I'll have to make something.
591
00:46:28,648 --> 00:46:29,467
Out of what?
592
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,548
Cluster lizard, of course.
593
00:46:32,961 --> 00:46:39,548
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