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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,521 --> 00:00:29,801 - Number 17, please. - BASIL: That'll be fine, thank you. 2 00:00:29,881 --> 00:00:31,761 Goodbye. Thank you so much. 3 00:00:31,841 --> 00:00:33,761 Hello, Fawlty Towers. 4 00:00:33,841 --> 00:00:35,361 Oh, hello, Mr Hawkins. 5 00:00:35,441 --> 00:00:38,401 - I've arranged your car for 2:00. - Thank you. 6 00:00:38,481 --> 00:00:40,801 Well, you did say today, Mr Hawkins. 7 00:00:40,881 --> 00:00:42,761 - You do accept cheques? - With a banker's card, yes. 8 00:00:42,841 --> 00:00:44,641 Well, we have to cancel the order then. 9 00:00:44,721 --> 00:00:48,521 Yes. No, no, 5:00 will be fine. 10 00:00:48,601 --> 00:00:50,241 Goodbye. 11 00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,321 Polly, Brenda can't start till Monday. 12 00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:53,961 Would you mind doing the rooms until then? 13 00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:55,761 - Oh, no. I could do with the money. - (CHUCKLES) Oh, good. 14 00:00:55,841 --> 00:00:57,921 There you are. 15 00:00:58,001 --> 00:00:59,841 Thank you, Mr Yardley. 16 00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:01,561 Oh, hello. Can I help you? 17 00:01:01,641 --> 00:01:02,881 - Yes... - Girl, 18 00:01:02,961 --> 00:01:04,321 would you give me change for this, please? 19 00:01:04,401 --> 00:01:06,401 In one moment. I'm just dealing with this gentleman. 20 00:01:06,481 --> 00:01:07,721 - Yes, Mr Thurston... - What? 21 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,321 - I was wondering... - I need change for this! 22 00:01:10,401 --> 00:01:12,441 In a moment. I'm dealing with this gentleman. 23 00:01:12,521 --> 00:01:14,401 But I have a taxi driver waiting. 24 00:01:14,481 --> 00:01:16,841 Surely this gentleman wouldn't mind if you just gave me change. 25 00:01:16,921 --> 00:01:19,201 - Do you? - No, no. Go ahead. 26 00:01:20,841 --> 00:01:22,441 - There you are. - Thank you. 27 00:01:22,521 --> 00:01:23,961 Can you tell me how to get to Glendower Street? 28 00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:28,201 Now, I've booked a room and bath with a sea view for three nights. 29 00:01:28,281 --> 00:01:30,281 - Glendower Street? - Yes. 30 00:01:30,361 --> 00:01:32,401 You haven't finished with me. 31 00:01:32,481 --> 00:01:33,481 Missus... 32 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,561 Mrs Richards. Mrs Alice Richards. 33 00:01:35,641 --> 00:01:37,121 Mrs Richards, Mr Thurston. 34 00:01:37,201 --> 00:01:38,801 Mr Thurston, Mrs Richards. 35 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:41,161 Mr Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending to at the moment. 36 00:01:41,241 --> 00:01:42,321 What? 37 00:01:42,401 --> 00:01:44,401 Mr Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending... 38 00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:46,401 Don't shout. I'm not deaf. 39 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,121 Mr Thurston was here before you, Mrs Richards. 40 00:01:49,201 --> 00:01:50,201 But you were serving me! 41 00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:53,001 I gave you change, but I hadn't finished dealing with him. 42 00:01:53,081 --> 00:01:54,201 Now, Glendower Street... 43 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,001 Isn't there anyone else in attendance? 44 00:01:56,081 --> 00:01:57,681 Really, this is the most appalling service! 45 00:01:57,761 --> 00:01:59,081 What a good idea! 46 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,081 Manuel, could you lend Mrs Richards 47 00:02:01,161 --> 00:02:03,761 your assistance in connection with her reservation? 48 00:02:05,881 --> 00:02:07,561 Now... 49 00:02:07,641 --> 00:02:09,721 I've reserved a very quiet room 50 00:02:09,801 --> 00:02:11,921 with a bath and a sea view. 51 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:15,161 I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, 52 00:02:15,241 --> 00:02:17,881 so please make sure I have it. 53 00:02:17,961 --> 00:02:19,001 Qué? 54 00:02:20,961 --> 00:02:22,721 - What? - Qué? 55 00:02:22,801 --> 00:02:24,001 - K? - Sí. 56 00:02:24,081 --> 00:02:25,361 C? 57 00:02:25,441 --> 00:02:27,361 KC? 58 00:02:27,441 --> 00:02:28,961 KC? What are you trying to say? 59 00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:30,921 No, no, no, no. Qué: What. 60 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:32,041 K-watt? 61 00:02:32,121 --> 00:02:34,081 Sí. Qué... What. 62 00:02:34,161 --> 00:02:36,561 - C.K. Watt? - Yes! 63 00:02:36,641 --> 00:02:37,881 Who is C.K. Watt? 64 00:02:37,961 --> 00:02:38,961 Qué? 65 00:02:39,041 --> 00:02:40,681 Is he the manager, Mr Watt? 66 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,241 - Manager! - He is? 67 00:02:42,321 --> 00:02:43,401 Ah, Mr Fawlty! 68 00:02:43,481 --> 00:02:45,241 - What? - Fawlty! 69 00:02:45,321 --> 00:02:47,681 What are you talking about, you silly little man? 70 00:02:47,761 --> 00:02:48,921 What is going on here? 71 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:51,041 I ask him for my room, and he tells me 72 00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:52,961 the manager's a Mr Watt, aged 40. 73 00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:55,601 No. No, no. Fawlty. 74 00:02:55,681 --> 00:02:58,561 "Faulty"? What's wrong with him? 75 00:02:58,641 --> 00:03:01,561 It's all right, Mrs Richards. He's from Barcelona. 76 00:03:01,641 --> 00:03:03,521 The manager's from Barcelona? 77 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,841 No, no, no. He's from Swanage. 78 00:03:05,921 --> 00:03:08,241 - And you're in 22. - What? 79 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,841 You're in room 22. 80 00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:12,721 Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you? 81 00:03:14,801 --> 00:03:16,761 Very nice stay, Mr Fawlty. 82 00:03:16,841 --> 00:03:17,961 Ah, glad you enjoyed it. 83 00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:19,921 Polly, would you get Mr Firkin's bill, please? 84 00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:21,241 When will we see you again? 85 00:03:21,321 --> 00:03:22,561 Oh, not for a few weeks. 86 00:03:23,481 --> 00:03:25,761 You're not by any chance a betting man, Mr Fawlty? 87 00:03:25,841 --> 00:03:28,321 Er... Well, I used to be. 88 00:03:28,401 --> 00:03:31,601 Only there's a very nice little filly running at Exeter this afternoon. 89 00:03:31,681 --> 00:03:33,561 - Really? - Dragonfly. 90 00:03:33,641 --> 00:03:34,641 Ah. 91 00:03:34,721 --> 00:03:36,081 - Dragonfly? - Yeah. 92 00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:38,761 It's well worth a flutter, but pay the tax on it before... 93 00:03:38,841 --> 00:03:40,561 Oh, delighted you enjoyed your stay. 94 00:03:40,641 --> 00:03:41,641 Very nice. 95 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,321 Hope to see you again before long. 96 00:03:43,401 --> 00:03:45,401 - There you are. - Thank you. 97 00:03:45,481 --> 00:03:46,481 Goodbye, Mrs Fawlty. 98 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:48,561 Goodbye, Mr Firkin. 99 00:03:48,641 --> 00:03:51,121 A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed. 100 00:03:52,561 --> 00:03:56,561 Oh, Mr Fawlty, 3:00, Exeter, Dragonfly. 101 00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:58,201 Right? 102 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,681 Yes, good luck! Jolly...jolly good luck with it. 103 00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:04,161 Morning, Major. 104 00:04:04,241 --> 00:04:05,681 Good morning, Fawlty. 105 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:09,641 Yes, dear? 106 00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:12,201 What was that about the 3:00 at Exeter, Basil? 107 00:04:12,281 --> 00:04:14,481 Oh, some horse he's gonna bet on, I expect. 108 00:04:14,561 --> 00:04:16,401 You're looking very spruce this morning, Major. 109 00:04:16,481 --> 00:04:18,681 - St. George's Day, old boy. - Really? 110 00:04:18,761 --> 00:04:20,921 Got a horse, have you? What's his name? 111 00:04:21,681 --> 00:04:23,521 Did you catch it, dear? 112 00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:25,201 Dragonfly, Major. 113 00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:28,081 - Going to have a flutter, Fawlty? - No, no, no, no, no. 114 00:04:28,161 --> 00:04:31,001 No, Basil doesn't bet any more, Major. Do you, dear? 115 00:04:31,081 --> 00:04:32,441 No, I don't, dear, no. 116 00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:36,241 That particular avenue of pleasure has been closed off for me. 117 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:41,881 And we don't want it opened up again, do we, Basil? 118 00:04:41,961 --> 00:04:43,801 No, you don't, dear. No. 119 00:04:44,721 --> 00:04:47,521 The great warning-off of May 8th, yes. 120 00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:49,441 Good old Saint George, eh, Major? 121 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:53,281 Well, he killed a hideous fire-breathing old dragon, didn't he? 122 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,601 Ran it through with a lance, I believe. 123 00:04:55,681 --> 00:04:57,001 Mr Fawlty! Mr Fawlty! 124 00:04:57,081 --> 00:04:58,841 Is Missus...room no like. 125 00:04:58,921 --> 00:05:00,921 She want speak to you. Is problem. 126 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,281 Ever see my wife making toast, Polly? 127 00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:04,601 (EXHALES) 128 00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:07,641 Why... Why'd he kill it anyway, Fawlty? 129 00:05:07,721 --> 00:05:09,441 I don't know, Major. Better than marrying it. 130 00:05:09,521 --> 00:05:10,561 Marrying it? 131 00:05:10,641 --> 00:05:12,721 But he didn't have to kill it, though, did he? 132 00:05:12,801 --> 00:05:16,121 I mean, he could've, uh, just not turned up at the church. 133 00:05:21,361 --> 00:05:22,361 (COUGHS) 134 00:05:22,761 --> 00:05:25,041 Good morning, madam. Can I help you? 135 00:05:25,121 --> 00:05:27,441 - Are you the manager? - I am the owner, madam. 136 00:05:27,521 --> 00:05:29,601 - What? - I am the owner. 137 00:05:29,681 --> 00:05:31,361 I want to speak to the manager. 138 00:05:31,441 --> 00:05:33,161 - I am the manager, too. - What? 139 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:35,241 I am the manager as well. 140 00:05:35,321 --> 00:05:37,681 Manager. He manager. 141 00:05:37,761 --> 00:05:39,761 Oh, you're Watt. 142 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,481 I'm the manager! 143 00:05:42,561 --> 00:05:44,361 - What? - I'm the manager! 144 00:05:44,441 --> 00:05:46,881 Yes, I know. You've just told me. What's the matter with you? 145 00:05:46,961 --> 00:05:50,121 Now, listen to me. I booked a room with a bath. 146 00:05:50,201 --> 00:05:52,801 When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath. 147 00:05:52,881 --> 00:05:53,881 You've got a bath. 148 00:05:53,961 --> 00:05:58,441 I'm not paying £7.20p per night, plus V.A.T., for a room without a bath! 149 00:05:58,521 --> 00:06:00,201 Here is your bath. 150 00:06:01,921 --> 00:06:05,001 You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. 151 00:06:05,081 --> 00:06:06,881 It's disgraceful! 152 00:06:06,961 --> 00:06:09,721 I wish you were a mouse. I'd show you. 153 00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:11,081 And another thing. 154 00:06:11,161 --> 00:06:13,281 I asked for a room with a view. 155 00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:14,921 (SOFTLY) Deaf, mad, and blind. 156 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:19,081 This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. 157 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,961 Yes, yes, this is it. 158 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:25,161 When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that. 159 00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:26,761 That is Torquay, madam. 160 00:06:26,841 --> 00:06:28,881 That is not good enough. 161 00:06:28,961 --> 00:06:30,921 Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see 162 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:34,001 out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? 163 00:06:34,081 --> 00:06:35,561 Sydney Opera House, perhaps? 164 00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:38,241 The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? 165 00:06:38,321 --> 00:06:40,681 Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically... 166 00:06:40,761 --> 00:06:41,961 Don't be silly. 167 00:06:42,041 --> 00:06:43,721 I expect to be able to see the sea. 168 00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:45,001 You can see the sea. 169 00:06:45,081 --> 00:06:47,521 It's over there between the land and the sky. 170 00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,041 I need a telescope to see that. 171 00:06:50,121 --> 00:06:52,121 Well, may I suggest that you consider moving 172 00:06:52,201 --> 00:06:54,481 to a hotel closer to the sea? 173 00:06:54,561 --> 00:06:55,841 Or preferably in it? 174 00:06:55,921 --> 00:06:57,481 Right. 175 00:06:57,601 --> 00:07:01,441 Now, listen to me. I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here. 176 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,921 However, I shall expect a reduction. 177 00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:06,881 Why, because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment? 178 00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:10,921 Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible, 179 00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:12,601 and the radio doesn't work. 180 00:07:12,681 --> 00:07:14,721 No, the radio works. You don't. 181 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:15,841 What? 182 00:07:15,921 --> 00:07:18,201 I'll see if I can fix it, you scabby old bat. 183 00:07:19,081 --> 00:07:20,881 (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) 184 00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:26,521 - I think we got something then. - What? 185 00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:28,481 I think we got something then! 186 00:07:28,561 --> 00:07:29,561 What are you doing? 187 00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:31,361 (LOUDLY) Qué? 188 00:07:31,441 --> 00:07:33,481 Madam, don't think me rude, but may I ask, 189 00:07:33,561 --> 00:07:35,961 do you by any chance have a hearing aid? 190 00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:37,081 A what? 191 00:07:37,161 --> 00:07:38,161 A hearing aid! 192 00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:39,761 Yes, I do have a hearing aid. 193 00:07:39,841 --> 00:07:41,841 Would you like me to get it mended? 194 00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:44,201 Mended? It's working perfectly all right. 195 00:07:44,281 --> 00:07:45,281 No, it isn't! 196 00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:46,721 I haven't got it turned on at the moment. 197 00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:49,161 - Why not? - The battery runs down. 198 00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:52,881 Now, what sort of a reduction are you going to give me on this room? 199 00:07:52,961 --> 00:07:55,241 - 60% if you turn it on. - What? 200 00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:57,041 My wife handles all such matters. 201 00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:59,521 I'm sure she will be delighted to discuss it with you. 202 00:07:59,601 --> 00:08:00,921 I shall speak to her after lunch. 203 00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:02,241 You heard that all right, didn't you? 204 00:08:02,321 --> 00:08:03,801 - What? - Thank you so much. 205 00:08:03,921 --> 00:08:05,921 Lunch will be served at half past 12:00. 206 00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,201 Manuel! Manuel! 207 00:08:07,281 --> 00:08:09,041 Are you going to the betting shop today? 208 00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,721 - What? - Oh, don't you start! 209 00:08:10,801 --> 00:08:12,521 You go betting shop today? 210 00:08:12,601 --> 00:08:13,801 Oh, sí! Betting shop, sí! 211 00:08:13,881 --> 00:08:17,241 Now, I want you to put this on this little horse, 212 00:08:17,321 --> 00:08:19,641 Dragonfly, but... Big secret. 213 00:08:19,721 --> 00:08:21,681 Sybil no know. 214 00:08:23,521 --> 00:08:27,401 No, no, it's lovely. It's just a bit buttery with my skin. 215 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,521 I think I need something more... more... 216 00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:36,081 Topazy, for my colouring, you know, more tonal. 217 00:08:36,161 --> 00:08:39,441 Have you got... Have you got Cosmopolitan there? 218 00:08:39,521 --> 00:08:41,841 Page 42, you see Burt Reynolds? 219 00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:46,761 Well, there's a girl standing behind him looking at James Caan. 220 00:08:46,841 --> 00:08:48,721 That sort of colour. 221 00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:50,001 Mm. 222 00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:53,641 Lovely. All right, I'll be in at 11:00. 223 00:08:53,721 --> 00:08:56,001 - Oh, Polly... - Hmm? 224 00:08:56,121 --> 00:08:58,641 I've got to check the laundry. Could you keep an eye on reception for me? 225 00:08:58,721 --> 00:08:59,841 Sure. 226 00:09:10,641 --> 00:09:12,561 Polly, Polly, where Mr Fawlty? 227 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:14,041 I don't know. What's the matter? 228 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,201 I have money for him. He win on horse, 229 00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:18,481 but big secret, shh! Mrs Fawlty, shh! 230 00:09:18,561 --> 00:09:20,681 Well, give it to me. I'll give it to him. 231 00:09:29,121 --> 00:09:31,761 Good afternoon, Miss Gatsby. Good afternoon, Miss Tibbs. 232 00:09:31,841 --> 00:09:32,841 Good afternoon. 233 00:09:32,921 --> 00:09:35,281 Good afternoon. 234 00:09:35,361 --> 00:09:37,041 BOTH: Good afternoon. 235 00:09:37,121 --> 00:09:38,561 First they give me a room without a bath, 236 00:09:38,641 --> 00:09:40,161 then there's no lavatory paper! 237 00:09:41,761 --> 00:09:43,561 Would you like some of ours? 238 00:09:43,641 --> 00:09:45,721 We keep an extra supply. 239 00:09:45,801 --> 00:09:48,761 Yes. Would you like some of ours? 240 00:09:48,841 --> 00:09:52,761 Hello! Girl, there's no paper in my room. Why don't you check these things? 241 00:09:52,841 --> 00:09:54,761 That's what you're being paid for, isn't it? 242 00:09:54,841 --> 00:09:56,801 - We don't put it in the rooms. - What? 243 00:09:56,881 --> 00:09:58,561 We keep it in the lounge. 244 00:09:58,641 --> 00:09:59,881 In the lounge? 245 00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:01,401 I'll get you some. 246 00:10:02,361 --> 00:10:05,161 Do you want plain ones, or ones with our address on it? 247 00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:06,481 Address on it? 248 00:10:06,561 --> 00:10:08,081 How many sheets? 249 00:10:09,921 --> 00:10:11,561 Well, how many are you going to use? 250 00:10:12,281 --> 00:10:13,281 Manager! 251 00:10:13,361 --> 00:10:14,921 Just enough for one? Tell me. 252 00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:16,761 Manager! Manager! 253 00:10:16,841 --> 00:10:19,441 Yes? Testing... testing... 254 00:10:20,681 --> 00:10:23,921 There you are. I've never met such insolence in my life! 255 00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:26,081 I come down here to get some lavatory paper, 256 00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:28,601 and she starts asking me the most insulting, 257 00:10:28,681 --> 00:10:30,401 personal things I've ever heard in my life! 258 00:10:30,481 --> 00:10:32,281 I thought she wanted writing paper. 259 00:10:32,361 --> 00:10:34,521 - I'm talking to you, Watt! - Watt? 260 00:10:35,521 --> 00:10:38,081 Are you deaf? I said I'm talking to you. 261 00:10:38,161 --> 00:10:40,161 I've never met such insolence in my life. 262 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:41,881 She said people use it in the lounge. 263 00:10:41,961 --> 00:10:43,601 - Yes, she thought... - Then she starts asking me... 264 00:10:43,681 --> 00:10:45,761 - No, please listen... - appalling questions about... 265 00:10:45,841 --> 00:10:49,481 I can explain. No, you see, she thought you wanted to write. 266 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,641 Wanted a fight? I'll give her a fight, all right! 267 00:10:51,721 --> 00:10:53,721 - No, no, no. Wanted to write! - What? 268 00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:55,681 Wanted to write. On the paper. 269 00:10:55,761 --> 00:10:57,081 Why should I want to write on it? 270 00:10:57,161 --> 00:10:58,481 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 271 00:10:58,561 --> 00:11:01,081 I'll have some sent up to your room immediately. 272 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,161 Manuel! 273 00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:05,081 That doesn't work either. What were you saying just now? 274 00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:07,921 - Turn it on. - What? 275 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,521 Turn it... 276 00:11:10,601 --> 00:11:14,041 Turn it on. 277 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,681 I can't read that. I need my glasses. 278 00:11:20,081 --> 00:11:21,081 Where are they? 279 00:11:21,161 --> 00:11:22,841 They're on your head, Mrs Richards. 280 00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:24,041 I've lost them. 281 00:11:24,121 --> 00:11:26,921 They're the only pair I've got. I can't read a thing without them. 282 00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:28,041 Excuse me! 283 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,281 - Now, I had them this morning... - Mrs Richards... 284 00:11:30,361 --> 00:11:33,321 When I was buying the vase... I put them on to look at it, 285 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,761 and then I had them at tea time... 286 00:11:34,841 --> 00:11:38,561 Mrs Richards! Your glasses are there! 287 00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:41,441 There? Who put them in there? 288 00:11:41,521 --> 00:11:43,121 No, no, no! On your head! 289 00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,001 - What? - On your... Look, 290 00:11:45,081 --> 00:11:46,801 on... 291 00:11:50,401 --> 00:11:52,241 I'm sorry about that, Mr Fawlty. 292 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,201 Manuel asked me to give this to you. 293 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:57,281 Oh! Thank you, Polly, and, Polly... 294 00:11:57,361 --> 00:11:58,561 Not a word to the dragon, eh? 295 00:11:58,641 --> 00:12:00,601 - No. - Right. 296 00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:01,721 Oh, Manuel, 297 00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:04,361 get some loo paper, muchos, for 22. 298 00:12:04,441 --> 00:12:06,521 Uh, twent... Sí. 299 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:07,601 Are you blind? 300 00:12:07,681 --> 00:12:09,721 There were on my head all the time. Didn't you see? 301 00:12:09,801 --> 00:12:11,761 - Yes. - Didn't God give you eyes? 302 00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:14,681 Yes, but I don't use 'em, 'cause it wears the batteries out. 303 00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:17,201 Send my paper up immediately. 304 00:12:18,521 --> 00:12:19,961 What's all that? 305 00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:22,281 22. 306 00:12:25,961 --> 00:12:26,961 (BASIL HUMMING) 307 00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:28,081 Evening, Terry. 308 00:12:32,281 --> 00:12:34,601 Do you like Cavaliera Rusticana, Terry? 309 00:12:34,681 --> 00:12:36,481 I've never had it, Mr Fawlty. 310 00:12:38,321 --> 00:12:40,041 You're in a good mood, Mr Fawlty. 311 00:12:40,121 --> 00:12:41,641 Had a little bit of luck on the gee-gees. 312 00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:43,761 Not a word to the "trouble and strife," eh? 313 00:12:46,401 --> 00:12:49,761 ♪ Oh, de Camptown Ladies sing this song 314 00:12:49,841 --> 00:12:51,801 ♪ Doo dah, doo dah 315 00:12:51,881 --> 00:12:53,801 ♪ Camptown racetrack five miles long 316 00:12:53,881 --> 00:12:55,841 ♪ Doo-dah doo-dah day 317 00:12:55,921 --> 00:12:57,561 ♪ Goin' to run all night 318 00:12:57,641 --> 00:12:59,441 ♪ Goin' to run all day 319 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:01,761 ♪ Gonna bet me money on the bobtail nag... 320 00:13:01,841 --> 00:13:03,281 ♪ I did it my way ♪ 321 00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:08,201 Can't stand Frank Sinatra. You make me feel so young. Rubbish. 322 00:13:08,281 --> 00:13:09,921 You seem very jolly, Basil. 323 00:13:10,001 --> 00:13:11,081 Hmm? 324 00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:12,361 You seem very jolly. 325 00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:13,481 Jolly? 326 00:13:13,561 --> 00:13:15,921 Yes, jolly. Sort of... Happy. 327 00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:17,921 Oh, happy. Yes, I remember that. 328 00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:19,761 Not that I noticed, dear, no. 329 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,041 I'll report it if it happens, though. 330 00:13:22,121 --> 00:13:23,961 Well, you look happy to me, Basil. 331 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,121 No, I'm not, dear. 332 00:13:25,201 --> 00:13:28,041 All that dancing about, singing and rubbing your hands. 333 00:13:28,121 --> 00:13:30,841 Just my way of getting through the day, dear. 334 00:13:30,921 --> 00:13:32,841 The Samaritans were engaged. 335 00:13:39,281 --> 00:13:42,361 I thought maybe you were in love. Hah! 336 00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:44,241 Only with you, light of my life. 337 00:13:45,361 --> 00:13:47,561 Or had a bit of luck or something. 338 00:13:48,921 --> 00:13:51,041 Did Mr Hawkins deliver the tonics, Terry? 339 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,721 Yes, he did, Mrs Fawlty. 340 00:13:54,281 --> 00:13:55,361 Manuel! Manuel! 341 00:13:55,441 --> 00:13:56,761 Oh, your horse, it win! It win! 342 00:13:56,841 --> 00:13:58,361 Shah! Shah! Manuel... 343 00:13:58,441 --> 00:14:00,401 You know nothing. 344 00:14:01,881 --> 00:14:04,801 You always say, Mr Fawlty, but I learn. 345 00:14:04,881 --> 00:14:06,561 - What? - I learn, I learn. 346 00:14:06,641 --> 00:14:07,641 - No, no... - I get better! 347 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:08,841 No, you don't understand. 348 00:14:08,921 --> 00:14:09,921 - I do! - No, you don't. 349 00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:11,121 I... I do understand that... 350 00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:13,161 Shah! Shah! 351 00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:16,281 You know nothing about the horse. 352 00:14:16,361 --> 00:14:18,081 I know nothing about the horse. 353 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,161 Yes. 354 00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:20,881 Ah. 355 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,121 Which horse? 356 00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:23,721 What? 357 00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,321 Which horse I know nothing? 358 00:14:25,401 --> 00:14:27,001 My horse, nitwit! 359 00:14:27,081 --> 00:14:28,441 Your horse, nitwit? 360 00:14:28,521 --> 00:14:30,241 No, no, Dragonfly! 361 00:14:30,321 --> 00:14:31,801 - It won! - Yes, I know! 362 00:14:31,881 --> 00:14:34,561 I know it won, too! I put money on for you. 363 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,041 You give me money, I go to betting shop... 364 00:14:36,121 --> 00:14:37,281 Yes, I know, I know! 365 00:14:37,361 --> 00:14:40,161 Why you say I know nothing? 366 00:14:40,241 --> 00:14:41,681 Look, look, look... 367 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:43,881 You know the horse? 368 00:14:43,961 --> 00:14:45,841 Uh... Nitwit or Dragonfly? 369 00:14:45,921 --> 00:14:49,001 Dragonfly! There isn't a horse called... You're the nitwit! 370 00:14:50,081 --> 00:14:51,121 What is "wit-nit"? 371 00:14:51,201 --> 00:14:52,961 It doesn't matt... 372 00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:55,121 I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation! 373 00:14:55,201 --> 00:14:58,681 Please, please try to understand before one of us dies! 374 00:14:59,921 --> 00:15:00,961 I try. 375 00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:04,881 You're going to forget everything you know about Nitwit. 376 00:15:04,961 --> 00:15:05,961 No, no, Dragonfly. 377 00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:07,521 Dragonfly! Yes! 378 00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:09,001 Sí, sí, sí. 379 00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:12,321 Eventually. 380 00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,321 What? 381 00:15:16,401 --> 00:15:18,641 Eventually. 382 00:15:18,721 --> 00:15:20,321 Uh, at the end. 383 00:15:20,401 --> 00:15:22,361 No, no, no, forget it now! 384 00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:23,441 Now? 385 00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:25,041 Well, pretend you forget! 386 00:15:25,121 --> 00:15:26,201 Pretend? 387 00:15:26,281 --> 00:15:29,881 Well, don't say anything to anyone about the horse! 388 00:15:29,961 --> 00:15:32,281 I know that. You tell me that this morning! 389 00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:33,361 (SCOFFS) 390 00:15:33,441 --> 00:15:35,881 - Basil...? - So don't do it again! 391 00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:37,121 Yes, dear? 392 00:15:37,201 --> 00:15:38,241 It's Mrs Richards. 393 00:15:38,321 --> 00:15:39,441 A fatal accident? 394 00:15:40,721 --> 00:15:42,841 She's had some money stolen. 395 00:15:42,921 --> 00:15:44,161 Oh, Mr Fawlty, 396 00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:45,241 I tell Polly. 397 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:48,721 That's all right, but don't tell anyone else, not even me! You know nothing! 398 00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:50,041 - Basil? - Yes, dear? 399 00:15:50,121 --> 00:15:52,481 You've got to help me handle this. She's in a frightful state. 400 00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:55,281 I can't get a word in edgewise. She's had £85 taken from her room. 401 00:15:55,361 --> 00:15:57,961 I said we'll search everyone, but she insists we send for the police. 402 00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,521 What do we do with someone like that? She just keeps on! 403 00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:02,481 Mrs Richards, how very nice to see you! 404 00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:04,321 Are you enjoying your stay? 405 00:16:04,401 --> 00:16:07,161 There's no need to shout. I have my hearing aid on. 406 00:16:07,881 --> 00:16:09,321 Mrs Richards, I've explained to my husband... 407 00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:14,521 I've just been up to my room. £85 has been taken from my bag, 408 00:16:14,601 --> 00:16:15,921 which I had hidden under the mattress. 409 00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:17,081 Oh, yes? 410 00:16:17,161 --> 00:16:19,521 It's a disgrace! I haven't been here a day. 411 00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:21,761 - What sort of staff do you employ? - Mrs Richards... 412 00:16:21,841 --> 00:16:23,361 If you knew anything at all about running a hotel, 413 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,841 this sort of thing wouldn't happen! 414 00:16:24,921 --> 00:16:27,401 Well, what have you got to say for yourself? 415 00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:29,241 (INAUDIBLE) 416 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,401 What? 417 00:16:39,561 --> 00:16:42,321 (BOTH MURMURING) 418 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:45,121 Wait, wait, wait. I haven't got it turned up enough. 419 00:16:45,201 --> 00:16:46,401 Basil! 420 00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:48,121 (SHOUTING) I said I suggest... 421 00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:49,321 (GASPS) 422 00:16:49,401 --> 00:16:51,601 Oh, my head, my head! 423 00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:52,841 Has it come away? 424 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,961 (MOANS) 425 00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:56,481 SYBIL: Did you bang your head? 426 00:16:56,561 --> 00:16:57,601 Yes! Yes! 427 00:16:57,681 --> 00:16:59,161 Oh, dear. Let me have a look. 428 00:16:59,241 --> 00:17:01,801 You'd better go and lie down before something else happens. 429 00:17:01,881 --> 00:17:02,961 Shut up! 430 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:04,161 Why don't you call the police? 431 00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:06,161 We will, the moment we've searched the rooms. 432 00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:07,241 My money's been taken! 433 00:17:07,321 --> 00:17:09,041 Yes, yes, I know. Try not to speak. 434 00:17:09,121 --> 00:17:11,041 Is this a piece of your brain? 435 00:17:13,841 --> 00:17:15,321 £85. 436 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:16,841 Take my arm. 437 00:17:16,921 --> 00:17:19,081 I don't need your arm, thank you. 438 00:17:19,161 --> 00:17:21,761 I can get down the stairs perfectly well by myself. 439 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:24,561 Down the stairs? Don't stop when you get to the basement. 440 00:17:24,641 --> 00:17:27,921 Keep straight on. Give my regards to the earth's core. 441 00:17:28,761 --> 00:17:30,321 Are you sure you can manage? 442 00:17:30,401 --> 00:17:33,161 And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours 443 00:17:33,241 --> 00:17:34,841 and put a bat up your nightdress. 444 00:17:35,841 --> 00:17:37,201 Well, that was fun, wasn't it? 445 00:17:37,281 --> 00:17:40,921 The odd moment like that, almost worth staying alive for, isn't it? 446 00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:44,281 It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it? It's what marriage is all about. 447 00:17:44,361 --> 00:17:46,641 I know. I read it on the back of a matchbox. 448 00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:48,641 Basil, sometimes... 449 00:17:48,721 --> 00:17:51,361 Seriously, Sybil, do you remember when we were first... 450 00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:53,441 manacled together? 451 00:17:53,521 --> 00:17:55,481 We used to laugh quite a lot. 452 00:17:55,561 --> 00:17:57,921 Yes, but not at the same time, Basil. 453 00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:02,041 That's true. That was a warning, I guess. Should have spotted that, shouldn't I? 454 00:18:02,121 --> 00:18:03,921 Zoom! "What was that?" "That was your life, mate." 455 00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:06,561 "Oh. That was quick. Do I get another?" 456 00:18:06,641 --> 00:18:07,721 "Sorry, mate, that's your lot." 457 00:18:07,801 --> 00:18:08,801 Basil. 458 00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:10,801 Back to the world of dreams. Yes, dear? 459 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,001 What are we going to do? 460 00:18:12,081 --> 00:18:13,401 Give it another 15 years? 461 00:18:13,481 --> 00:18:16,801 - About the money. Do you... - Aw, she's left it in her room, 462 00:18:16,881 --> 00:18:18,921 or eaten it or something. We'll get Manuel to go through the room. 463 00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:20,041 Polly can check the lounge... 464 00:18:20,121 --> 00:18:23,161 - I saw Polly with money just now. - Well, there you are. 465 00:18:23,241 --> 00:18:25,361 Quite a bit, too. She was counting it in here. 466 00:18:26,961 --> 00:18:28,001 Well, it's probably hers. 467 00:18:28,081 --> 00:18:30,201 No, she's been very short lately. I'll ask her... 468 00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:32,441 Well, you can't. You can't just ask her like that. 469 00:18:32,521 --> 00:18:34,321 - Why not? - It would be terribly rude, 470 00:18:34,401 --> 00:18:36,481 asking someone if money is theirs. That would be so embarrassing! 471 00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:37,561 Rubbish, Basil. 472 00:18:37,641 --> 00:18:38,641 (PHONE RINGING) 473 00:18:39,321 --> 00:18:42,041 Hello, Fawlty Towers. Polly Sherman? 474 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,041 Yes, certainly, I'll get her straightway. Hang on. 475 00:18:44,121 --> 00:18:45,161 SYBIL: Polly! 476 00:18:48,201 --> 00:18:49,241 (SOFTLY) Terry, where's Polly? 477 00:18:49,321 --> 00:18:50,641 In there. 478 00:18:50,721 --> 00:18:52,601 - She saw you with the money! - What? 479 00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:54,241 She saw you counting the horse money! 480 00:18:54,321 --> 00:18:55,681 She's just coming... Oh, hello, dear. 481 00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:57,801 Here she is. Found her in here. 482 00:18:57,881 --> 00:18:59,961 As I was just saying, Polly, my wife would like a word with you 483 00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:01,361 about a slightly delicate matter. 484 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,321 It's not delicate, Basil. Don't be silly. 485 00:19:03,401 --> 00:19:05,241 He thinks it's embarrassing for me to ask you 486 00:19:05,321 --> 00:19:08,121 about that money I saw you with earlier on in the office. 487 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:11,361 I wondered if someone had handed it in. Mrs Richards has lost some. 488 00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:14,041 The money? In the office? 489 00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:16,881 You were counting it, weren't you? Did someone hand it in? 490 00:19:16,961 --> 00:19:19,441 Oh, no. No, it's mine. 491 00:19:19,521 --> 00:19:21,001 Yours? 492 00:19:21,081 --> 00:19:22,761 I won it. 493 00:19:22,841 --> 00:19:24,681 You won it? 494 00:19:24,761 --> 00:19:27,081 On the horse Mr Fawlty got a tip on. 495 00:19:27,161 --> 00:19:29,121 I hope you don't mind, I... 496 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,881 No, no, not at all. 497 00:19:31,681 --> 00:19:33,721 I didn't know you bet on the horses, Polly. 498 00:19:33,801 --> 00:19:35,121 Oh, I don't. 499 00:19:35,201 --> 00:19:37,281 Only I was in the town, and I passed the betting shop, 500 00:19:37,361 --> 00:19:38,401 and I thought, "Well, why not?" 501 00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,841 Well, why not indeed? Jolly good question, eh, dear? 502 00:19:40,921 --> 00:19:42,561 Pity you didn't let me put something on, really. 503 00:19:42,641 --> 00:19:44,041 You realise how much we would've won? 504 00:19:44,121 --> 00:19:47,001 £75 for a £5 stake. Still, you know best. 505 00:19:50,161 --> 00:19:51,801 Those were the odds, were they, Basil? 506 00:19:51,881 --> 00:19:53,361 Yes, that's right, dear. 14-1. 507 00:19:53,441 --> 00:19:55,761 I listened in on the wireless just to make sure it had triumphed. 508 00:19:55,841 --> 00:19:57,441 Enjoy your winnings, Polly. 509 00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:58,961 - Thank you. - Polly. 510 00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:01,521 - Yes, Mrs Fawlty? - What was the name of the horse? 511 00:20:02,561 --> 00:20:04,401 The name? Uh... 512 00:20:06,241 --> 00:20:07,601 I've gone blank. 513 00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:12,841 - Birdbrain! - Birdbrain? 514 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,001 No, no, that came in third. 515 00:20:14,081 --> 00:20:15,241 Uh... 516 00:20:15,921 --> 00:20:17,241 (STUTTERS) Fishwife! 517 00:20:17,321 --> 00:20:19,121 - What? - No... 518 00:20:19,201 --> 00:20:21,921 No, not that. Small... 519 00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:24,201 Fly! Fly! 520 00:20:25,761 --> 00:20:27,041 Flying Tart! 521 00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:35,001 No, no, no, it got off to a flying start, and it's name... 522 00:20:35,081 --> 00:20:37,241 was Dragonfly! 523 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,041 Thank you, Polly. 524 00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:46,321 If I find out the money on that horse was yours, 525 00:20:46,401 --> 00:20:48,081 you know what I'll do, Basil. 526 00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:52,401 You'll have to sew 'em back on first. 527 00:20:54,681 --> 00:20:56,481 - Ah, Major! - 6:00, old boy. 528 00:20:56,561 --> 00:20:59,761 Oh, so it is. Uh, Major... Can I offer you, uh... 529 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:02,801 Oh, very decent of you. Just a quick one. 530 00:21:02,881 --> 00:21:04,761 Going to a memorial service. 531 00:21:04,841 --> 00:21:06,441 Ah. 532 00:21:06,521 --> 00:21:08,081 Tie's a bit bright, isn't it, Major? 533 00:21:08,161 --> 00:21:09,881 - What? - For a memorial service? 534 00:21:09,961 --> 00:21:13,761 Oh, I didn't like the chap. One of those. Know what I mean? 535 00:21:13,841 --> 00:21:15,641 - Cheers. - Uh, Major... 536 00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:18,401 Could you do me a favour? 537 00:21:18,481 --> 00:21:20,361 Well, I'm a bit short myself, old boy. 538 00:21:20,441 --> 00:21:22,361 No, no, could you look after some money for me? 539 00:21:22,441 --> 00:21:25,201 I won it on that horse. Only Sybil's a bit suspicious, you see? 540 00:21:25,281 --> 00:21:27,001 She goes through my pockets some nights. 541 00:21:27,081 --> 00:21:28,801 Oh, absolutely. Which horse? 542 00:21:28,881 --> 00:21:30,721 - Uh, Dragonfly. - When's it running? 543 00:21:30,801 --> 00:21:32,641 No, it ran today. I won that on it. 544 00:21:32,721 --> 00:21:33,921 Oh. Well done, old boy. 545 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,081 No, could you keep it? 546 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:37,121 No, I couldn't do that, very decent of you... 547 00:21:37,201 --> 00:21:40,761 No, could you keep it just tonight? It's Sybil, you see? Secret. 548 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,121 Ah, a present. 549 00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:44,201 (STUTTERS) Sort of, yes. Don't mention it. 550 00:21:44,281 --> 00:21:45,681 Mum's the word. 551 00:21:45,761 --> 00:21:47,561 I'll get it from you in the morning and bank it. 552 00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:49,321 Understood, old boy. 553 00:21:50,721 --> 00:21:51,841 Cheers. 554 00:21:57,881 --> 00:21:59,361 There you are, Mr Mackintosh. 555 00:22:00,481 --> 00:22:03,241 - BOTH: Good morning, Mr Fawlty. - Good morning, ladies. 556 00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:04,321 (PHONE RINGING) 557 00:22:05,921 --> 00:22:07,721 Hello. Fawlty Towers. 558 00:22:07,801 --> 00:22:09,361 Watt! 559 00:22:09,441 --> 00:22:11,281 I didn't say anything. 560 00:22:11,361 --> 00:22:12,521 Have you called the police yet? 561 00:22:12,601 --> 00:22:14,561 Excuse me, I'm trying to take a telephone call. 562 00:22:14,641 --> 00:22:16,601 Have you called them yet? 563 00:22:16,681 --> 00:22:18,761 - Yes, yes, we have. - When are they going to be here then? 564 00:22:18,841 --> 00:22:20,521 As soon as possible. They're very busy today. 565 00:22:20,601 --> 00:22:21,801 Busy. Humph! 566 00:22:21,881 --> 00:22:26,201 Lot of bloodshed at the Nell Gwen Tea Rooms last night. Hello? 567 00:22:26,281 --> 00:22:29,041 Certainly, yes. Mrs Richards? 568 00:22:29,121 --> 00:22:33,161 Mrs Richards! Sorry. Telephone for you. 569 00:22:33,241 --> 00:22:34,601 - Here. - Yes? 570 00:22:34,681 --> 00:22:35,681 What's this for? 571 00:22:35,761 --> 00:22:38,121 - Uh, telephone calls? - But I haven't made any. 572 00:22:38,201 --> 00:22:39,881 - Uh... Cigarettes? - I don't smoke. 573 00:22:41,441 --> 00:22:42,481 There's nobody there. 574 00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:46,041 Hello? Yes, yes, I know she is. 575 00:22:46,121 --> 00:22:48,281 Yes. It's your sister! 576 00:22:48,361 --> 00:22:49,521 Well, what is it for? 577 00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:50,641 Umm... Drinks? 578 00:22:50,721 --> 00:22:52,241 Drinks? Me? 579 00:22:52,321 --> 00:22:53,481 We've been cut off. 580 00:22:53,561 --> 00:22:56,521 Hello? Look, you tell me, and I'll tell her. 581 00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:58,281 Even the phones don't work. 582 00:22:58,361 --> 00:23:04,081 Your sister says you've had an offer of £87,000 for your house in Brighton. 583 00:23:04,161 --> 00:23:07,281 87,000? Give it to me. 584 00:23:07,361 --> 00:23:09,121 Don't be a fool, Stephanie. 585 00:23:09,201 --> 00:23:14,041 92,750 I said, and I'm not taking a penny less. You tell him that. 586 00:23:14,121 --> 00:23:15,561 Why don't people listen? 587 00:23:16,761 --> 00:23:17,841 Well? 588 00:23:17,921 --> 00:23:21,521 Well, let's scrub that 32p then, shall we? Let's enjoy ourselves. 589 00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:22,761 Oh, thank you very much. 590 00:23:22,841 --> 00:23:25,921 Oh, Major! Major! Um, can I have it now? 591 00:23:26,001 --> 00:23:27,761 - What, old boy? - The money. 592 00:23:27,841 --> 00:23:29,241 The money I gave you last night? 593 00:23:29,321 --> 00:23:30,801 What... What is all this about? 594 00:23:30,881 --> 00:23:31,961 You remember I gave you some money 595 00:23:32,041 --> 00:23:34,041 just before you went to that remembrance service? 596 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:35,761 - Remembrance service? - Yes. 597 00:23:35,841 --> 00:23:37,081 I don't remember that, old boy. 598 00:23:37,161 --> 00:23:39,441 It was for a chap you didn't like. 599 00:23:39,521 --> 00:23:42,321 - You know, he was one of those? - One of those what? 600 00:23:42,401 --> 00:23:44,321 Well... 601 00:23:44,401 --> 00:23:46,121 - Pansy? - Yes. 602 00:23:46,201 --> 00:23:47,281 Which one? 603 00:23:47,361 --> 00:23:49,801 No, no, no, no. You were in your best suit. 604 00:23:49,881 --> 00:23:51,761 Was I? Oh, yes, of course! 605 00:23:51,841 --> 00:23:53,201 I went to the theatre, of course! 606 00:23:53,281 --> 00:23:56,081 - No, no... - Yes, yes, with Winnie Atwell, yes. 607 00:23:56,161 --> 00:23:57,601 Winnie Atwell? 608 00:23:57,681 --> 00:23:59,361 Well, Marjorie Atwell then, Marjorie. 609 00:23:59,441 --> 00:24:02,641 I always call her Winnie because... Well, because she looks like Winnie. 610 00:24:02,721 --> 00:24:03,921 She's not black. 611 00:24:04,001 --> 00:24:07,121 Black? Churchill wasn't black. 612 00:24:07,201 --> 00:24:11,001 Look, look, look, I gave you £75. You put it in there. 613 00:24:11,081 --> 00:24:13,521 What do you mean by telling me you called the police? 614 00:24:13,601 --> 00:24:14,841 You've done no such thing. 615 00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,921 Your wife's just told me you're still searching the rooms. 616 00:24:17,001 --> 00:24:18,081 Well, I thought she'd called them. 617 00:24:18,161 --> 00:24:19,481 You lying hound! 618 00:24:19,561 --> 00:24:21,441 - Mrs Richards... - Go and call them now, immediately. 619 00:24:21,521 --> 00:24:23,601 Mrs Richards, we will, the moment we've searched... 620 00:24:23,681 --> 00:24:25,481 Right. I shall call them myself then. 621 00:24:25,561 --> 00:24:26,881 Couldn't we just wait until... 622 00:24:26,961 --> 00:24:28,321 I've never seen such a place! 623 00:24:28,401 --> 00:24:30,521 All right, Mrs Richards. 624 00:24:30,601 --> 00:24:32,281 Would you like to use the office phone? 625 00:24:32,361 --> 00:24:33,561 What? 626 00:24:33,641 --> 00:24:36,401 In here. Thank you. 627 00:24:36,481 --> 00:24:40,001 Basil! Get the key and check her room. 628 00:24:40,081 --> 00:24:41,121 Right. 629 00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:44,641 I found it, Fawlty! It was in my pocket! Yes, in my new suit! 630 00:24:44,721 --> 00:24:46,321 - Major, shh! - In here, you see? 631 00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:48,201 - Stuffed right down. - Can I have it? 632 00:24:48,281 --> 00:24:51,601 I don't know how it got there, you, see, because I make a point 633 00:24:51,681 --> 00:24:53,281 of keeping my money in my hip pocket. 634 00:24:53,361 --> 00:24:54,481 Yes, please! Please! 635 00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:56,081 - What, old boy? - Can I have it? 636 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,401 Oh, yes, yes, the money. Yes, yes, of course. 637 00:24:58,481 --> 00:25:00,041 Good God, it's gone! 638 00:25:00,121 --> 00:25:01,481 No, no, in there! 639 00:25:01,561 --> 00:25:03,521 - Basil? - Here it is! 640 00:25:03,601 --> 00:25:05,441 - What's that? - I found it, Mrs Fawlty. 641 00:25:05,521 --> 00:25:06,561 The money. 642 00:25:06,641 --> 00:25:09,361 Oh, that's marvellous! Mrs Richards! 643 00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:11,761 - What? - We found your money. 644 00:25:11,841 --> 00:25:14,361 - No! - The Major's found your money. 645 00:25:14,441 --> 00:25:16,041 - (WHIMPERS) No! N... - What? 646 00:25:16,121 --> 00:25:17,641 Thank you so much, Major. 647 00:25:17,721 --> 00:25:19,721 There you are. I told you it would turn up. 648 00:25:19,801 --> 00:25:21,121 (JABBERING) 649 00:25:22,201 --> 00:25:23,441 What is it, Basil? 650 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:25,601 Bit of luck, eh, Fawlty? 651 00:25:25,681 --> 00:25:27,201 It's £10 short. 652 00:25:27,281 --> 00:25:28,881 Oh, dear. 653 00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:31,321 It's not! 654 00:25:31,401 --> 00:25:33,881 £10 short? 655 00:25:33,961 --> 00:25:35,561 Oh, my God! 656 00:25:35,641 --> 00:25:37,121 Don't worry, we'll have a whip round! 657 00:25:37,201 --> 00:25:38,321 (COINS CLANKING) 658 00:25:38,401 --> 00:25:39,481 Basil, stop! 659 00:25:39,561 --> 00:25:40,801 What's he doing now? 660 00:25:42,441 --> 00:25:44,081 What on earth do you think you're doing? 661 00:25:44,161 --> 00:25:46,841 I'll look for the missing £10 immediately, Mrs Richards. 662 00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,281 - Where exactly did you find it, Major? - In my pocket. 663 00:25:49,361 --> 00:25:51,961 - In your pocket? - Yeah, yeah. Not this suit. In my new suit. 664 00:25:52,041 --> 00:25:53,601 Would you mind if I popped up and had a look? 665 00:25:53,681 --> 00:25:54,961 No, no, not at all. 666 00:25:55,041 --> 00:25:56,881 I'll see if I can find it. Won't be a moment. 667 00:25:56,961 --> 00:26:00,201 Uh, it's in with the, um, the, uh... 668 00:26:00,281 --> 00:26:02,481 - Did you say it was in your pocket? - Yes, yes. 669 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:03,841 What was it doing in your pocket? 670 00:26:03,921 --> 00:26:05,001 Can I explain? 671 00:26:05,081 --> 00:26:08,041 You're not explaining anything. You're completely loopy. 672 00:26:08,121 --> 00:26:09,321 Mad as a March hare! 673 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,921 Yes, yes, I am. Yes, I am completely loopy. 674 00:26:12,001 --> 00:26:14,561 That's why I gave him the money to look after. 675 00:26:14,641 --> 00:26:16,361 You see, there's been a mistake. 676 00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:18,481 That money there is in fact mine. 677 00:26:18,561 --> 00:26:20,161 - Yours? - Yes, as the Major will confirm, 678 00:26:20,241 --> 00:26:22,361 you see, I was saving it up for a present for my wife. 679 00:26:22,441 --> 00:26:24,361 That's why I couldn't say anything just now, 680 00:26:24,441 --> 00:26:25,761 but I gave it to the Major last night... 681 00:26:25,841 --> 00:26:27,321 What rubbish! This is my money. 682 00:26:27,401 --> 00:26:29,841 - No, the Major will verify what I've said. - Hmm? 683 00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:31,761 - Could you verify that, Major? - What, old boy? 684 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:34,201 Hush... The money. I gave you last night, 685 00:26:34,281 --> 00:26:35,961 for my wife's present? I gave it to you 686 00:26:36,041 --> 00:26:37,801 - just before you went to the theatre? - The theatre? 687 00:26:37,881 --> 00:26:40,921 Well... Yes. You... You remember? 688 00:26:41,001 --> 00:26:42,481 (WHISPERS) That money I won on the horses! 689 00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:43,641 A horse? 690 00:26:43,721 --> 00:26:45,561 Why are you whispering? What are you saying? 691 00:26:45,641 --> 00:26:48,121 - He says he won it on a horse. - Won it on a horse? 692 00:26:48,201 --> 00:26:52,121 Shah! It doesn't matter! Do you remember me giving it to you? 693 00:26:52,201 --> 00:26:54,361 Oh, think! Please think! 694 00:26:54,441 --> 00:26:55,641 What was the question again? 695 00:26:55,721 --> 00:26:57,761 Oh, the money, the money! Do you... 696 00:26:57,841 --> 00:27:00,041 Manuel! Manuel! Manuel! Manuel! 697 00:27:00,121 --> 00:27:02,361 You remember I had some money yesterday? 698 00:27:02,441 --> 00:27:03,561 The money I won on the horse? 699 00:27:03,641 --> 00:27:04,641 Oh, sí. 700 00:27:04,721 --> 00:27:07,841 Tell Mrs Richards. Tell her I had the money yesterday. 701 00:27:07,921 --> 00:27:09,321 Ahem-hem! 702 00:27:09,401 --> 00:27:10,801 I know nothing. 703 00:27:11,681 --> 00:27:14,121 What? What? 704 00:27:14,201 --> 00:27:15,441 I know nothing. 705 00:27:15,521 --> 00:27:16,921 - No, no... - Nothing. 706 00:27:17,001 --> 00:27:18,041 No, no, forget that! 707 00:27:18,121 --> 00:27:19,721 I forget everything. I know nothing. 708 00:27:19,801 --> 00:27:21,641 - You can tell her! - No, I cannot. 709 00:27:21,721 --> 00:27:23,121 Yes, yes, tell her! 710 00:27:23,201 --> 00:27:24,561 Tell her. Please! Please! 711 00:27:24,641 --> 00:27:27,481 Tell her. Tell her! Tell her! Tell her, or I'll kill you! 712 00:27:27,561 --> 00:27:29,361 Oh. Ha ha! 713 00:27:29,441 --> 00:27:32,121 No, I know nothing. 714 00:27:32,201 --> 00:27:33,801 I am from Barcelona. 715 00:27:34,921 --> 00:27:37,041 I'm not listening to any more of this rubbish! 716 00:27:37,121 --> 00:27:38,681 I'm going to finish my breakfast, 717 00:27:38,761 --> 00:27:41,561 and when I come back, I want the rest of my money. 718 00:27:41,641 --> 00:27:43,641 Give it to her, Basil. 719 00:27:43,721 --> 00:27:46,121 I can't find it. Give her 10 from the till. 720 00:27:48,681 --> 00:27:50,081 Right! 721 00:27:50,161 --> 00:27:51,681 (BREATHING DEEPLY) 722 00:27:58,881 --> 00:28:00,321 What are you doing? 723 00:28:00,401 --> 00:28:02,561 I'm going to give her the shirt off my back, too! 724 00:28:02,641 --> 00:28:04,561 You see? I know nothing. 725 00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:06,801 I'm gonna send you to a vivisectionist. 726 00:28:06,881 --> 00:28:08,081 (LAUGHING) 727 00:28:09,001 --> 00:28:10,201 Now... 728 00:28:10,281 --> 00:28:11,721 (SOBBING) 729 00:28:17,361 --> 00:28:19,521 (SCREAMING) 730 00:28:24,401 --> 00:28:26,921 Good afternoon, Mr Fawlty. 731 00:28:27,001 --> 00:28:28,801 Good afternoon. 732 00:28:28,881 --> 00:28:30,601 You got a Mrs Richards staying here? 733 00:28:30,681 --> 00:28:31,801 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 734 00:28:34,801 --> 00:28:37,361 - Yes. - Oh. Ah, well, 735 00:28:37,441 --> 00:28:40,681 only she bought this yesterday, asked us to deliver it. 736 00:28:40,761 --> 00:28:43,881 The thing is, she left some money behind. 737 00:28:43,961 --> 00:28:45,121 Keeps it in this. 738 00:28:45,201 --> 00:28:47,721 95 quid. Look. 739 00:28:47,801 --> 00:28:49,561 The cleaner found it this morning. 740 00:28:49,641 --> 00:28:53,881 Almost threw it in the bin. Lucky, eh? Is she around? 741 00:28:56,081 --> 00:28:57,921 Nope. I'll give it to her. 742 00:28:58,001 --> 00:29:01,321 Oh. Thanks, Mr Fawlty. Goodbye. 743 00:29:09,801 --> 00:29:11,361 Mm... Mwah! 744 00:29:13,561 --> 00:29:14,761 We found her money! 745 00:29:14,841 --> 00:29:16,161 Where? 746 00:29:16,241 --> 00:29:17,681 She... It doesn't matter. 747 00:29:18,801 --> 00:29:20,401 I'm £10 up on the deal! 748 00:29:20,481 --> 00:29:21,561 £10 up? 749 00:29:21,641 --> 00:29:24,641 Yes, it's 95... Even if I give her 10, I'm still 10 up! 750 00:29:24,761 --> 00:29:28,521 Polly, for the first time in my life, I'm ahead! I'm winning! 751 00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:30,201 (EXCLAIMING) 752 00:29:31,081 --> 00:29:34,041 Hello, Mrs Richards. How lovely to see you. 753 00:29:34,161 --> 00:29:38,681 Your beautiful vase that you bought yesterday has just arrived. Now, remind me, 754 00:29:38,761 --> 00:29:41,361 the money that you have there, is it yours or mine? 755 00:29:41,441 --> 00:29:42,761 I told you. It's mine. 756 00:29:42,841 --> 00:29:43,961 You're absolutely sure? 757 00:29:44,041 --> 00:29:45,201 Yes, I am. 758 00:29:45,281 --> 00:29:47,561 - But you're still £10 short? - Yes. 759 00:29:47,641 --> 00:29:50,601 Polly, give Mrs Richards this, would you? 760 00:29:53,401 --> 00:29:54,881 What's that? 761 00:29:54,961 --> 00:29:56,201 This is mine. 762 00:29:57,721 --> 00:29:58,721 What's that, Basil? 763 00:29:58,801 --> 00:29:59,841 (GASPS) 764 00:30:01,481 --> 00:30:03,641 - It's mine. - What? 765 00:30:03,721 --> 00:30:05,201 It's the money I won on the horse. 766 00:30:05,281 --> 00:30:08,401 Oh, yes, right. Polly asked me to put it in the safe for her. 767 00:30:12,921 --> 00:30:16,401 So, that's all sorted out, and this is your money, Polly. 768 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,761 And this is your beautiful vase, Mrs Richards. 769 00:30:18,841 --> 00:30:21,681 Fawlty! You did give me that money! 770 00:30:21,761 --> 00:30:23,481 You won it on that horse! 771 00:30:23,561 --> 00:30:25,561 Aah! 772 00:30:25,641 --> 00:30:26,881 (BASIL WHIMPERS) 773 00:30:28,401 --> 00:30:32,241 That cost £75! 774 00:30:32,321 --> 00:30:34,161 Oh, I am sorry, Mrs Richards. 775 00:30:34,241 --> 00:30:36,481 We must pay you back. There you are. One... 55940

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