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1
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:25,481
Come on.
2
00:00:27,041 --> 00:00:29,561
Is it so difficult for you to start?
It's so basic.
3
00:00:29,641 --> 00:00:32,521
If you don't go,
there's little point in having you.
4
00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:42,961
(CAR HORN HONKING)
5
00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:53,241
Just pull yourself together, all right?
Make an effort.
6
00:00:56,201 --> 00:00:59,161
- Come on. Now, look.
- MANUEL: Mr Fawlty.
7
00:00:59,361 --> 00:01:01,401
Mr Fawlty, Mr Fawlty.
8
00:01:01,481 --> 00:01:03,281
- Telephone.
- What?
9
00:01:03,361 --> 00:01:05,601
Telephone. Telephone.
10
00:01:06,481 --> 00:01:07,881
Where's Sybil?
11
00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:09,241
Qué?
12
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,361
Where's Sybil?
13
00:01:12,881 --> 00:01:14,801
Where's the bill?
14
00:01:14,881 --> 00:01:17,681
No, no, no. Not the bill,
I own the place, I don't pay bills.
15
00:01:17,761 --> 00:01:19,321
Where's my wife?
16
00:01:19,441 --> 00:01:21,681
- She not here.
- She is there!
17
00:01:22,161 --> 00:01:23,161
Er...
18
00:01:24,161 --> 00:01:26,441
Oh, never mind. Never mind.
19
00:01:26,761 --> 00:01:30,241
Right, leave it to me, I'll do it.
I'll mend the car, I'll answer the telephone.
20
00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:33,641
Then you can chain me up,
and I'll wash the windows.
21
00:01:33,721 --> 00:01:35,841
- In here, in here.
- Yes, I know!
22
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,281
- This way.
- Yes, yes!
23
00:01:37,361 --> 00:01:39,961
I know it's this way. I own the place.
24
00:01:40,561 --> 00:01:42,801
Hello, Fawlty Towers.
25
00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:45,481
Oh, André! Thank you for calling.
26
00:01:46,521 --> 00:01:47,961
Kurt's marvellous.
27
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,921
We're absolutely delighted with him.
Really, André, he's wonderful!
28
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:55,601
This, Basil's wife. This, Basil.
This, smack on head.
29
00:01:58,921 --> 00:02:02,801
- Just one moment, André. Basil?
- Yes, dear?
30
00:02:02,881 --> 00:02:05,281
- Have you taken the car in yet?
- Yes, I'm dealing with it, dear.
31
00:02:05,361 --> 00:02:07,321
You're not trying to do it yourself?
32
00:02:07,401 --> 00:02:08,921
Oh, have you seen this mark, dear?
33
00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,481
- Did you hear what I said?
- Yes, I did. Bit of a scratch.
34
00:02:11,561 --> 00:02:13,441
Take it into the garage.
35
00:02:13,521 --> 00:02:15,121
Yes, just having a look at it, dear.
36
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:16,961
Sorry, André. Where was I?
37
00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:20,521
Yes, he's the best chef we've ever had.
38
00:02:20,601 --> 00:02:23,681
We can't thank you enough
for finding him for us.
39
00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:26,801
Look, can you come have dinner on Sunday?
40
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,601
There's something we want
to ask your advice about.
41
00:02:29,681 --> 00:02:32,921
Okay, lovely. See you then, then.
42
00:02:35,561 --> 00:02:38,121
- Hello, Polly.
- Can you come and have a drink, Mrs Fawlty?
43
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,881
- I've just sold a sketch.
- Really? I'd love to.
44
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,801
- Hello.
- Hello.
45
00:02:43,281 --> 00:02:45,401
Kurt, André can come on Sunday.
46
00:02:45,481 --> 00:02:47,441
- I thought you were taking the car in?
- Hmm?
47
00:02:47,521 --> 00:02:49,321
- Are you at those again?
- I just took one, dear.
48
00:02:49,401 --> 00:02:52,561
You've had enough of those, Basil.
Will you deal with the car, please?
49
00:02:52,641 --> 00:02:54,801
- Good, Mr Fawlty?
- Superb, Kurt.
50
00:02:54,881 --> 00:02:57,081
- For you, Mr Fawlty?
- Thank you, Polly.
51
00:02:57,161 --> 00:03:00,841
- Are you going to do the car?
- In a moment, my little piranha fish.
52
00:03:01,161 --> 00:03:03,761
- What's this for?
- I've just sold a sketch.
53
00:03:03,841 --> 00:03:04,841
What, for money?
54
00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:07,801
I bought it, Mr Fawlty.
She's very talented.
55
00:03:07,881 --> 00:03:09,281
- Oh, no, Polly. I won't.
- Oh, come on.
56
00:03:09,361 --> 00:03:10,561
No, thank you.
57
00:03:10,641 --> 00:03:12,681
- I bought it to thank you.
- No, honestly.
58
00:03:12,761 --> 00:03:15,601
- Don't you like it?
- Too much, but not when I'm working.
59
00:03:15,681 --> 00:03:17,161
You drink it for me, Manuel.
60
00:03:17,241 --> 00:03:18,761
Well, cheerio!
61
00:03:18,841 --> 00:03:21,081
- Cheerio, Basil.
- Well, that smelt nice.
62
00:03:21,161 --> 00:03:22,921
Here it is, Mr Fawlty.
63
00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:24,961
She's really got something, you know.
64
00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:27,521
- Really?
- Well worth 50p, anyway.
65
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,561
Yes, do you win a bun
if you guess what it is, or something?
66
00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,161
- It's Manuel.
- What?
67
00:03:32,241 --> 00:03:34,281
- It's me.
- Where?
68
00:03:34,441 --> 00:03:36,841
Manuel is my friend.
We're good friends, eh?
69
00:03:36,921 --> 00:03:37,881
Oh, sí.
70
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:42,521
Yes. Very modern, very socialist.
Something to remember him by when he goes.
71
00:03:42,601 --> 00:03:43,601
You still here, Basil?
72
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:46,681
No, I went a couple of minutes ago, dear.
But I expect I'll be back shortly.
73
00:03:46,761 --> 00:03:49,481
- Oh.
- No, no, Manuel! Look!
74
00:03:49,961 --> 00:03:51,561
Like this.
75
00:03:51,961 --> 00:03:54,041
Oh, I like that. Will you do me one?
76
00:03:54,121 --> 00:03:55,241
Really? Of Manuel?
77
00:03:55,321 --> 00:03:57,801
Yes. Look nice on Basil's bedside table.
78
00:03:57,921 --> 00:04:00,641
Two in a day.
That's as many as Van Gogh sold in a lifetime.
79
00:04:00,721 --> 00:04:04,201
But he didn't have Manuel as a model, eh?
80
00:04:24,881 --> 00:04:26,561
This is wonderful.
81
00:04:26,881 --> 00:04:29,001
I told you, he's one of the best.
82
00:04:29,081 --> 00:04:31,001
He's almost as good as you, André.
83
00:04:31,081 --> 00:04:34,201
It's absolutely divine, Basil.
Go on, have a bit.
84
00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:36,481
- 'Tis good, isn't it?
- Oh, listen to him.
85
00:04:36,561 --> 00:04:39,281
The only place I've ever seen him eat
is your restaurant, André.
86
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:41,161
Now he's stuffing it away like a hamster.
87
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,601
- Really, Sybil.
- We're going to buy him a great big wheel
88
00:04:43,721 --> 00:04:48,641
to run around in when he's got a moment,
or he'll get like a big, bad-tempered tomato.
89
00:04:48,881 --> 00:04:51,481
I believe we were discussing
the gourmet evening, dear.
90
00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:52,841
Do you know, André,
91
00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:55,161
- burst his zip this morning.
- Oh!
92
00:04:57,601 --> 00:05:00,041
- What's the matter, darling?
- You're embarrassing André!
93
00:05:00,121 --> 00:05:02,721
No, I'm embarrassing you. Look at that!
94
00:05:02,841 --> 00:05:07,401
I'd better have a word with the guests.
Why don't you have another vat of wine, dear?
95
00:05:09,281 --> 00:05:11,241
Good evening, Major. Enjoying your soup?
96
00:05:11,321 --> 00:05:13,521
Tasted a bit off to me, Fawlty.
97
00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:16,081
It's made with fresh mushrooms, Major.
98
00:05:16,161 --> 00:05:17,881
Ah! That would explain it.
99
00:05:19,761 --> 00:05:21,441
Good evening.
Everything to your satisfaction?
100
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:22,881
- Yes, thank...
- Well, er...
101
00:05:22,961 --> 00:05:25,401
- I don't like the chips.
- Sorry?
102
00:05:25,481 --> 00:05:26,801
The chips are awful.
103
00:05:26,881 --> 00:05:28,521
Oh, dear. What's wrong with them, then?
104
00:05:28,601 --> 00:05:30,721
They're the wrong shape,
and they're just awful.
105
00:05:30,801 --> 00:05:33,521
He gets everything cooked
the way he likes it at home.
106
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:34,761
Ah, does he?
107
00:05:34,841 --> 00:05:37,161
Yes, and it's better
than this pig's garbage.
108
00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:38,241
Now, Ronald!
109
00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:39,921
These eggs look like you laid them.
110
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,281
Ronald!
111
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,721
- Look here, old chap...
- Shut up! Leave him alone!
112
00:05:44,801 --> 00:05:47,481
He's very clever, rather highly strung.
113
00:05:47,601 --> 00:05:49,081
Yes, yes, he should be.
114
00:05:49,161 --> 00:05:53,081
- Haven't you any proper chips?
- These are proper French fried potatoes.
115
00:05:53,161 --> 00:05:54,721
The chef is Continental.
116
00:05:54,801 --> 00:05:56,121
Couldn't you get an English one?
117
00:05:56,201 --> 00:05:59,361
- Why don't you eat one or two, dear?
- They're the wrong shape.
118
00:05:59,441 --> 00:06:03,441
What shape do you usually have?
Mickey Mouse shape? Smarties shape?
119
00:06:03,521 --> 00:06:07,401
Amphibious landing craft shape?
Poke in the eye shape?
120
00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:10,121
- God, you're dumb.
- Oh, now!
121
00:06:10,201 --> 00:06:12,521
Is there something
we can get you instead, sonny?
122
00:06:12,601 --> 00:06:15,081
I'd like some bread and salad cream.
123
00:06:15,161 --> 00:06:18,601
To eat? Well, there's the bread,
and there's the mayonnaise.
124
00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:20,961
I said "salad cream", stupid.
125
00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:25,521
We don't have any salad cream.
The chef made this freshly this morning.
126
00:06:25,601 --> 00:06:26,841
What a dump.
127
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:29,841
- This is very good.
- He likes salad cream.
128
00:06:29,921 --> 00:06:32,801
- That's puke, that is.
- At least it's fresh puke.
129
00:06:32,881 --> 00:06:35,041
- How dare you!
- Well, he said it.
130
00:06:35,121 --> 00:06:38,641
May I ask why you don't have proper
salad cream? Most restaurants...
131
00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:42,001
Well, the chef usually buys it
only on special occasions, you know.
132
00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:43,361
Gourmet nights, and so on.
133
00:06:43,441 --> 00:06:46,681
But when he's got a bottle, ah,
he's a genius with it.
134
00:06:46,761 --> 00:06:50,081
He can unscrew the cap like Robert Carrier.
It's a treat to watch.
135
00:06:50,161 --> 00:06:53,641
And then right on the plate!
Never on the walls! Magic!
136
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:57,361
Mind you, he's a wizard with the tin opener, too.
He's got a Pulitzer Prize for that.
137
00:06:57,441 --> 00:07:00,961
He can have the stuff in the saucepan
before you can say "haute cuisine".
138
00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:04,401
You name it, he'll heat it up
and scrape it off the pan for you.
139
00:07:04,481 --> 00:07:06,201
Skill like that isn't picked up overnight.
140
00:07:06,281 --> 00:07:08,401
Still, I'll tell him to
get some salad cream.
141
00:07:08,481 --> 00:07:11,641
You never know when Henry Kissinger
is going to drop in, do you?
142
00:07:11,721 --> 00:07:12,841
Oh, sorry!
143
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,041
Nice man.
144
00:07:16,121 --> 00:07:18,521
No, no, seriously.
I think it's a very good idea.
145
00:07:18,601 --> 00:07:20,361
- You do, really?
- I promise you.
146
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:23,201
People around here are getting
more and more keen on good food.
147
00:07:23,281 --> 00:07:25,801
Well, so much for tonight's guests.
Ignorant rabble.
148
00:07:25,881 --> 00:07:28,761
- There's always a few, Mr Fawlty.
- Not on gourmet night, there won't be.
149
00:07:28,841 --> 00:07:30,121
- None of these proles.
- Basil!
150
00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:31,241
Well!
151
00:07:31,361 --> 00:07:34,001
- André thinks Thursday nights would be best.
- Thursdays?
152
00:07:34,081 --> 00:07:35,041
I think so.
153
00:07:35,161 --> 00:07:37,761
And on all the other nights
we'll just have a big trough of baked beans
154
00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:40,401
and garnish it with a couple of dead dogs.
155
00:07:41,881 --> 00:07:43,921
- That's settled then.
- Good.
156
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:45,561
I'm very pleased for Kurt, too.
157
00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:48,601
It'll be good for him to have
something special to do.
158
00:07:48,721 --> 00:07:51,681
- I'd like to have a word with him, do you mind?
- Of course not.
159
00:07:51,761 --> 00:07:53,481
I'll get the menus printed on Monday.
160
00:07:53,561 --> 00:07:54,961
- Polly can do the menus.
- No, she can't.
161
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,041
- Yes, she can.
- No, she can't.
162
00:07:56,121 --> 00:07:57,121
- Yes, she can.
- No, she can't.
163
00:07:57,201 --> 00:07:58,241
Yes, she can.
164
00:07:58,321 --> 00:07:59,361
- No...
- She can.
165
00:07:59,441 --> 00:08:01,401
You can write the advertisement
in the Echo.
166
00:08:01,521 --> 00:08:04,721
Only, don't make it too toffee nosed, Basil.
We don't want to put people off.
167
00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:06,481
I just want to keep the
riffraff away, dear.
168
00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:08,561
Well, good luck, my friend.
169
00:08:08,641 --> 00:08:10,041
It's good to have you down here.
170
00:08:10,121 --> 00:08:12,881
- Thank you for, well, you know.
- Don't mention it.
171
00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:14,641
Nice to have met you, Manuel.
172
00:08:14,721 --> 00:08:15,761
He's my friend.
173
00:08:15,841 --> 00:08:18,121
One night I cook you both paella.
174
00:08:18,201 --> 00:08:19,721
Okay. And, Kurt, mmm...
175
00:08:19,801 --> 00:08:21,321
You don't trust me?
176
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:22,721
- Ciao.
- Ciao!
177
00:08:22,881 --> 00:08:26,801
Manuel, together you and I make
Fawlty Towers famous for its cooking.
178
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,841
- Qué?
- Excellent, tip-top, famoso!
179
00:08:29,921 --> 00:08:31,881
Oh, you're are so cute.
180
00:08:34,201 --> 00:08:35,241
Manuel.
181
00:08:35,321 --> 00:08:36,321
Oh!
182
00:08:39,361 --> 00:08:40,961
Get a clean one.
183
00:08:41,081 --> 00:08:42,481
Is clean now.
184
00:08:45,681 --> 00:08:47,121
Is dirty now.
185
00:08:47,201 --> 00:08:48,881
(PHONE RINGING)
186
00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:51,921
- Do you like the menu, Mr Fawlty?
- No, I don't.
187
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:53,401
- Oh, good.
- What?
188
00:08:53,481 --> 00:08:55,641
Thank you. Thank you so much.
189
00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:58,081
Give it to me. Give it to me.
190
00:08:58,401 --> 00:08:59,801
Thank you.
191
00:09:01,961 --> 00:09:05,721
Well, Basil, guess who just called
to cancel at 12 minutes past seven.
192
00:09:05,801 --> 00:09:07,241
- Who?
- The Coosters.
193
00:09:07,321 --> 00:09:09,561
- What, all four?
- Marvellous, isn't it?
194
00:09:09,641 --> 00:09:11,401
Ach! What did they say?
195
00:09:11,481 --> 00:09:12,761
One of them's ill.
196
00:09:12,841 --> 00:09:15,081
Well, let's hope it's nothing trivial.
197
00:09:15,161 --> 00:09:19,041
Do you realise there are four people
at our grand opening dinner?
198
00:09:19,281 --> 00:09:21,441
- Never mind.
- Never mind?
199
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:23,921
There's four people, Basil.
Shall we feed them in the kitchen?
200
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:27,721
But think who those four are.
Colonel and Mrs Hall, both JPs,
201
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:31,201
and Lionel Twitchen,
one of Torquay's leading Rotarians.
202
00:09:31,281 --> 00:09:34,241
- That'll put us on the map.
- He's this year's treasurer, dear.
203
00:09:34,361 --> 00:09:38,121
I should have never let you write that advert.
Fancy putting, "No riffraff".
204
00:09:38,201 --> 00:09:40,281
When you're presenting haute cuisine,
205
00:09:40,361 --> 00:09:43,361
you don't want the working class
sticking its nose in it.
206
00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,281
Everything all right? Where's Kurt?
207
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:47,761
He and Manuel are getting the wine
from the cellar.
208
00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:50,161
Ah, this is what it's all about.
209
00:09:50,481 --> 00:09:53,681
You two, you're supposed to be in your rooms!
You're not allowed down here tonight.
210
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,001
- Remember?
- Ooh, doesn't it look pretty?
211
00:09:56,081 --> 00:09:57,121
What are you cooking?
212
00:09:57,201 --> 00:10:00,201
I'll send you up a menu
with your bread and cheese. Now get out!
213
00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:02,401
- Basil, they're here.
- What?
214
00:10:02,481 --> 00:10:03,521
The Halls are here.
215
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:05,961
- Go to your rooms!
- The Halls!
216
00:10:06,561 --> 00:10:08,801
Mr Fawlty! Mr Fawlty!
217
00:10:08,881 --> 00:10:10,401
I very upset!
218
00:10:10,641 --> 00:10:12,241
Not now, Manuel. Later!
219
00:10:13,241 --> 00:10:17,961
Well, when I went for my jog this morning,
I thought it was going to be pretty warm.
220
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:23,841
But in the event, of course,
it turned out to be pretty cool, really.
221
00:10:24,121 --> 00:10:29,201
Er, then it began to cloud up this afternoon,
quite contrary to the weather forecast, naturally.
222
00:10:29,481 --> 00:10:33,641
And I shouldn't be a bit surprised
if we get a spot of rain tonight.
223
00:10:33,761 --> 00:10:36,121
Still, it's been a lovely
summer, hasn't it?
224
00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:39,321
- Oh, yes.
- Ah, Colonel! How delightful to see you again.
225
00:10:39,401 --> 00:10:41,281
- Sorry?
- How delightful to see you again.
226
00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:44,961
We met last year at the golf club
dinner dance, you may remember.
227
00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:46,441
No, I don't.
228
00:10:46,561 --> 00:10:50,001
Ah, fine, we didn't talk for long.
Just, "Good evening," really, you know.
229
00:10:50,121 --> 00:10:53,841
A blink of the eye and you would've missed it.
As indeed you did.
230
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,721
Quite understandably.
231
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:58,241
Sorry? What? Hmm?
232
00:10:59,361 --> 00:11:02,081
Well, er, how's that
lovely daughter of yours?
233
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,441
She's dead.
234
00:11:04,521 --> 00:11:07,681
I like your suit, isn't that super,
the way those stripes go up and down?
235
00:11:07,761 --> 00:11:10,561
It's really super!
How much did that cost, then?
236
00:11:10,641 --> 00:11:13,561
Who are you?
I mean, I don't know your name!
237
00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:18,321
- What is it?
- What?
238
00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:19,881
My name.
239
00:11:19,961 --> 00:11:22,241
Oh, this is my husband, Basil Fawlty.
240
00:11:22,321 --> 00:11:23,441
- That's it!
- What?
241
00:11:23,521 --> 00:11:24,641
- Ah! How do you do?
- How do you do?
242
00:11:24,721 --> 00:11:27,281
- And may I introduce my wife?
- She just introduced you.
243
00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:29,521
- Oh, what a coincidence.
- Yes.
244
00:11:29,681 --> 00:11:31,481
Well, I don't believe you know my wife.
245
00:11:31,561 --> 00:11:32,801
- Dead?
- Yes.
246
00:11:32,881 --> 00:11:34,921
May I introduce Mrs Hall?
247
00:11:39,081 --> 00:11:42,081
Oh, sorry! Didn't see you down there.
Don't get up.
248
00:11:45,961 --> 00:11:48,481
What would you like to
drink, Mrs Small... Hall!
249
00:11:48,561 --> 00:11:50,681
Yes, a short, or...
250
00:11:51,801 --> 00:11:53,241
Sherry! How about a sherry?
251
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,881
- A sherry, lovely.
- Oh, good.
252
00:11:54,961 --> 00:11:58,281
Large, or not quite so large?
253
00:11:58,481 --> 00:12:00,441
Two, small and dry.
254
00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:03,281
- Oh, I wouldn't say that.
- What?
255
00:12:03,361 --> 00:12:05,961
- I don't know.
- Two small, dry sherries.
256
00:12:06,041 --> 00:12:07,841
Oh, I see what you mean. I'm sorry!
257
00:12:07,921 --> 00:12:08,921
(BELL RINGING)
258
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:11,641
Ah, Mr and Mrs Twitchen, good evening.
259
00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:13,881
- Welcome to Fawlty Towers.
- Good evening.
260
00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:17,641
How very au fait of you to come
to our little culinary soiree this evening.
261
00:12:17,721 --> 00:12:20,601
Only too glad to support something new
in Torquay.
262
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:22,961
Such an unusual idea.
I do hope it works out.
263
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:25,201
- Well, we have our hopes.
- Mr Fawlty?
264
00:12:25,321 --> 00:12:27,561
Ah, Polly!
Would you take Mrs Twitchen's coat, please?
265
00:12:27,641 --> 00:12:28,961
- Yes, of course.
- Thank you so much.
266
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,361
- Now, would you care to...
- Mr Fawlty?
267
00:12:30,441 --> 00:12:31,961
- Yes?
- Can I have a word with you?
268
00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:35,881
Uh, yes. Oh, this is Polly.
She will be serving you later this evening.
269
00:12:35,961 --> 00:12:37,161
- Er...
- Well?
270
00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:39,801
- It's Kurt.
- Yes?
271
00:12:39,921 --> 00:12:41,321
He's potted...
272
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:44,001
- the shrimps.
- What?
273
00:12:44,161 --> 00:12:46,881
- He's potted the shrimps.
- "Shrimps"?
274
00:12:46,961 --> 00:12:49,081
We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly.
275
00:12:49,161 --> 00:12:51,241
- Now...
- He's sauced...
276
00:12:51,961 --> 00:12:55,041
- the herrings.
- What are you on about?
277
00:12:55,321 --> 00:13:00,281
He's pickled the onions,
and he's smashed the eggs in his cups!
278
00:13:00,481 --> 00:13:04,161
- Under the table.
- Excuse me.
279
00:13:04,681 --> 00:13:06,521
- Have you been drinking?
- No, not me!
280
00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:08,121
Will you behave yourself!
281
00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:10,321
I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.
282
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:14,681
Er, would you care for a...
Will you stop that? Please pull yourself together.
283
00:13:14,801 --> 00:13:17,681
Now may I offer you a
little apéritif before...
284
00:13:17,761 --> 00:13:18,881
(POLLY EXCLAIMING)
285
00:13:18,961 --> 00:13:20,761
Sorry, a bit of cotton.
286
00:13:20,881 --> 00:13:24,561
May I offer you a little apéritif while you
make up your mind what you'd like for dinner?
287
00:13:24,641 --> 00:13:27,601
- That's very kind of you. Lotte?
- A tomato juice, please.
288
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,921
- Mr Twitchen?
- Tomato juice for me, thank you.
289
00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:33,561
Ah, good! Oh, Colonel.
Colonel and Mrs Hall.
290
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:36,921
May I introduce Mr and Mrs...
291
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,081
- Have you met?
- No, no, we haven't.
292
00:13:43,161 --> 00:13:44,161
- Have you?
- No.
293
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,441
- Oh, good. What would you like to drink then?
- What?
294
00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:47,601
To drink.
295
00:13:47,681 --> 00:13:49,881
- I didn't catch the name.
- Oh, you didn't catch it.
296
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:51,801
- What a rotten bit of luck.
- Well?
297
00:13:51,881 --> 00:13:53,161
Fine, thank you. And you?
298
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:54,801
No, no, we still don't know the name.
299
00:13:54,881 --> 00:13:56,241
Oh, Fawlty, Basil Fawlty.
300
00:13:56,321 --> 00:13:57,601
No, no, theirs!
301
00:13:57,681 --> 00:14:00,641
Oh, theirs! So sorry!
I thought you meant yours!
302
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,441
My, it's quite warm, isn't it?
I could do with a drink, too.
303
00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:06,281
- So, another sherry?
- Aren't you going to introduce us?
304
00:14:06,361 --> 00:14:07,361
- Didn't I?
- No!
305
00:14:07,441 --> 00:14:09,561
Oh, sorry. This is Mr and Mrs...
306
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:10,681
(MUMBLING)
307
00:14:10,761 --> 00:14:13,681
- What?
- Er, Mr and Mrs...
308
00:14:18,681 --> 00:14:20,041
Sorry, I fainted.
309
00:14:21,081 --> 00:14:24,481
Well, I feel better now.
I'll just get you your tomato juices.
310
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,041
- Twitchen, actually.
- Hall.
311
00:14:26,121 --> 00:14:28,441
- Would you care to join us?
- Thank you so much.
312
00:14:28,521 --> 00:14:29,561
Here we are.
313
00:14:29,641 --> 00:14:31,441
- That's it.
- Would you like to see the menu?
314
00:14:33,441 --> 00:14:35,081
- Yes, what is it?
- Please, put the bottle down.
315
00:14:35,161 --> 00:14:36,601
- What do you want?
- Please, put the bottle down!
316
00:14:36,681 --> 00:14:37,881
What is it?
317
00:14:38,281 --> 00:14:40,281
Kurt is drunk.
318
00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:42,961
(BOTTLE SHATTERING)
319
00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:44,641
Sorry! Sorry.
320
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:48,561
- Drunk?
- Almost unconscious.
321
00:14:49,161 --> 00:14:50,161
Right.
322
00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:54,441
(SHRIEKING)
323
00:14:54,641 --> 00:14:56,241
Sorry! Sorry!
324
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:59,401
- How?
- I don't know. It happened so quickly.
325
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,161
- He had a row with Manuel.
- Manuel?
326
00:15:01,241 --> 00:15:02,681
- He's got a crush on him.
- A what?
327
00:15:02,761 --> 00:15:04,601
A crush. You know, in love.
328
00:15:05,641 --> 00:15:08,721
Sorry. Er,
would you excuse me just one moment?
329
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:10,161
I won't be one moment.
330
00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:12,601
I knew it! I should have
never hired a Frenchman.
331
00:15:12,681 --> 00:15:14,641
- He's Greek, Mr Fawlty.
- Greek?
332
00:15:14,721 --> 00:15:17,201
Well, that's even worse.
I mean, they invented it.
333
00:15:17,281 --> 00:15:19,601
Right! Give that to me, Kurt.
334
00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:22,561
- Give me that bottle.
- No, go away! Leave me alone.
335
00:15:22,641 --> 00:15:24,681
- Come on. Give it to me.
- Manuel!
336
00:15:29,121 --> 00:15:32,161
- Come on, Kurt.
- Manuel! He doesn't love me!
337
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:35,841
- Well, you have to give these things time.
- I want Manuel!
338
00:15:35,921 --> 00:15:38,321
I'm sure we can arrange something.
Now can I have the bottle?
339
00:15:38,401 --> 00:15:40,641
- He's so sweet.
- Yes, he is sweet.
340
00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:43,281
- He's wonderful!
- Yes! I know!
341
00:15:43,361 --> 00:15:44,521
Damn you!
342
00:15:51,561 --> 00:15:53,841
Kurt? Come on. Come on!
343
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,601
- Get some black coffee, quick!
- He can't drink it. He's out.
344
00:15:56,681 --> 00:15:58,681
No, he isn't. He's only drunk half a bottle!
Come on.
345
00:15:58,761 --> 00:16:02,001
Come on, Kurt! Come on!
Come on, Kurt! Come on.
346
00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:06,601
MANUEL: Now listen to me, Kurty!
347
00:16:06,681 --> 00:16:09,721
I come in now, but no cuddle.
You hear me? Ah!
348
00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:11,601
Look at what you've done.
349
00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:12,841
- Dead?
- To the world.
350
00:16:12,921 --> 00:16:14,401
- He's only drunk, Manuel.
- This is your fault!
351
00:16:14,481 --> 00:16:16,521
- Qué?
- You only had to be civil to him.
352
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:17,841
- "Civil"?
- Nice!
353
00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:21,441
You no understand. Is not enough.
He want to kiss me.
354
00:16:21,521 --> 00:16:23,601
- Oh, what's one little...
- Mr Fawlty!
355
00:16:23,681 --> 00:16:25,241
Call André. He can do the cooking.
356
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:28,361
He's open tonight!
He's open on a Thursday, you cloth-eared bint!
357
00:16:28,441 --> 00:16:30,921
But he can do it there.
You can pick it up in the car.
358
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:32,001
Oh...
359
00:16:33,721 --> 00:16:35,881
Brilliant! Brilliant!
360
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:37,161
- Yuck.
- Right!
361
00:16:37,521 --> 00:16:39,761
- I can't resist lobster.
- No.
362
00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:43,001
- Tournedos for me every time.
- Would you care for another drink?
363
00:16:43,081 --> 00:16:45,441
No, I don't think we will.
We're nearly ready to order.
364
00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:47,161
I'll be back in a moment.
365
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:48,721
So, you can't do the lobster?
366
00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:51,361
Right, right, I see, but,
André, the tournedos.
367
00:16:51,441 --> 00:16:53,601
Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
368
00:16:53,681 --> 00:16:54,841
- Basil!
- Shh! Shh!
369
00:16:54,961 --> 00:16:59,401
Yes, of course I want the duck, that's marvellous,
but can you do one or two sauces?
370
00:16:59,481 --> 00:17:01,561
Wonderful! That's it! Thank you, André!
371
00:17:01,641 --> 00:17:03,881
- Why are you talking to André?
- What is it? What is it?
372
00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:06,161
- They're ready to order, Basil.
- Stall them.
373
00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:07,761
- What?
- Stall them, you stupid woman!
374
00:17:07,841 --> 00:17:10,161
- Tell them some lie.
- What's happening?
375
00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:12,321
- Shh!
- Will you just tell me what you're doing?
376
00:17:12,401 --> 00:17:14,721
- We've got to change the menu.
- Why?
377
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:17,001
Why? Why?
378
00:17:17,081 --> 00:17:19,681
Listen, he's out there! He's flat out!
379
00:17:19,761 --> 00:17:21,121
- So, André's...
- Who is?
380
00:17:21,201 --> 00:17:22,721
- What?
- Who is "out"?
381
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:25,241
Kurt! Who did you think, Henry Kissinger?
382
00:17:26,041 --> 00:17:28,121
- What do you mean out?
- He's drunk!
383
00:17:28,241 --> 00:17:32,001
- "Drunk"?
- Drunk! Soused, potted, inebriated, got it?
384
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:34,001
- I don't believe it.
- Neither do I.
385
00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:35,761
Perhaps it's a dream.
386
00:17:37,921 --> 00:17:40,521
No, it's not a dream.
We're stuck with it. Right!
387
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,001
André's doing the cooking,
I'll collect it in the car.
388
00:17:43,081 --> 00:17:44,601
- What's he cooking?
- Duck!
389
00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:45,761
- Duck?
- Duck!
390
00:17:45,841 --> 00:17:47,561
- Duck?
- You know, duck.
391
00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:49,681
(QUACKING)
392
00:17:55,401 --> 00:17:57,441
I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.
393
00:17:57,521 --> 00:17:59,361
Well, we'd like to order now.
394
00:17:59,441 --> 00:18:00,681
Uh, yes, quite.
395
00:18:00,801 --> 00:18:04,201
- My wife would like the lobster as her main...
- Yes, excuse me.
396
00:18:04,281 --> 00:18:06,201
There is one small thing.
397
00:18:06,321 --> 00:18:10,161
I'm afraid you were given the wrong menus.
Er, this is tonight's menu.
398
00:18:11,281 --> 00:18:12,681
- What?
- Er, yes...
399
00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:16,121
I'm afraid the chef changed his mind
and forgot to tell us. He's like that.
400
00:18:16,201 --> 00:18:17,721
Brilliant, but temperamental.
401
00:18:17,801 --> 00:18:20,121
- He's changed everything?
- I'm afraid so.
402
00:18:20,201 --> 00:18:22,481
It wasn't good enough,
so he just chucked it away.
403
00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:24,081
- He's such a perfectionist.
- The lobster?
404
00:18:24,161 --> 00:18:26,521
Lobster, tournedos,
you name it, it's in the bin.
405
00:18:26,601 --> 00:18:29,241
- How extraordinary.
- Lucky old bin, I say.
406
00:18:29,321 --> 00:18:32,521
- This is your new menu.
- Duck with orange.
407
00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:34,601
Duck with cherries.
408
00:18:35,441 --> 00:18:36,801
Duck surprise?
409
00:18:37,921 --> 00:18:42,081
- What's duck surprise?
- Uh, that's duck without orange or cherries.
410
00:18:43,361 --> 00:18:45,241
Is this all there is? Duck?
411
00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:49,241
Um, yes. Done, of course,
the three extremely different ways.
412
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,721
And what do you do if you don't like duck?
413
00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:53,721
If you don't like duck,
414
00:18:53,881 --> 00:18:56,081
er, you're rather stuck.
415
00:18:56,361 --> 00:18:58,681
Well, fortunately, I love it!
416
00:18:58,761 --> 00:19:01,041
Oh, good, so that's four ducks, is it?
417
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,521
You were right.
418
00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:03,961
Ooh.
419
00:19:04,401 --> 00:19:06,241
Now, he's getting this duck from André.
420
00:19:06,321 --> 00:19:08,401
Yes, but I don't know what
vegetables he's put on.
421
00:19:08,521 --> 00:19:12,601
Three salmon mousses, Polly,
and one mullet with mustard sauce for Mrs Hall.
422
00:19:12,681 --> 00:19:14,481
- Where's the mullet?
- There!
423
00:19:14,561 --> 00:19:15,601
Oh, right.
424
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,921
- What are you doing about vegetables, Basil?
- Same as the other menu, dear.
425
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:21,081
- André's not doing any?
- No, no! You and Polly!
426
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,121
- Er, mustard sauce!
- Mustard sauce, here.
427
00:19:23,201 --> 00:19:25,601
When I'm out in the car,
you get them ready, right?
428
00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:26,681
Right.
429
00:19:26,761 --> 00:19:27,761
- Ready, Polly?
- Ready.
430
00:19:27,841 --> 00:19:28,841
- Manuel?
- Sí?
431
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:32,841
Two of those for table nine, and one of those,
and that's for table four. Come on!
432
00:19:38,281 --> 00:19:41,321
- There you are. There you go.
- No, the other way around.
433
00:19:41,401 --> 00:19:42,961
- Qué?
- The other way around.
434
00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:44,081
Oh. Please!
435
00:19:44,161 --> 00:19:46,401
No, no, no! The plates!
436
00:19:46,521 --> 00:19:47,681
Change the plates.
437
00:19:47,761 --> 00:19:50,961
- Oh, is dirty. I change.
- No, come here!
438
00:19:52,281 --> 00:19:55,561
- Change the plates.
- Change the plates.
439
00:19:58,001 --> 00:19:59,001
Pardon.
440
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,521
Sí, I tell them.
441
00:20:01,641 --> 00:20:03,241
Sorry. Sorry. Is wrong.
442
00:20:06,281 --> 00:20:07,681
(MANUEL YELPING)
443
00:20:07,841 --> 00:20:10,801
I'm so sorry, he's from Barcelona.
Do forgive me.
444
00:20:11,921 --> 00:20:14,441
I don't know what he sees in you!
445
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,081
Do you think we could have a drink, dear?
446
00:20:22,161 --> 00:20:25,281
- May I see the wine list, please, Fawlty?
- Certainly, Major.
447
00:20:25,361 --> 00:20:26,441
Colonel!
448
00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:28,961
Everything all right?
449
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,201
- Yes, I expect so.
- Oh, good. Mrs Twitchen?
450
00:20:31,281 --> 00:20:33,921
- Yes, it's fine, Mr Fawlty.
- Good. Good.
451
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:35,641
He's got it in his hair.
452
00:20:35,721 --> 00:20:38,841
- How is it, dear?
- Rather good, surprisingly.
453
00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:41,801
- Well, there's the wine list.
- Thank you very much.
454
00:20:41,881 --> 00:20:43,481
(SCREAMING)
455
00:20:44,121 --> 00:20:45,721
What is it, Petal? What's the matter?
456
00:20:45,801 --> 00:20:47,601
Is everything all right?
457
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:51,361
- Oh, I think I'm going to be sick!
- It is an unusual taste, isn't it?
458
00:20:52,801 --> 00:20:55,681
It's not cooked, you ignoramus!
459
00:20:55,761 --> 00:20:58,241
What are you trying to do to us, Fawlty?
Do you mean that's raw?
460
00:20:58,321 --> 00:21:01,201
- Oh, would you prefer a cooked one?
- Of course she'd prefer a cooked one!
461
00:21:01,321 --> 00:21:04,041
- I'll get you a cooked one then. It'll be even nicer!
- No! No!
462
00:21:04,801 --> 00:21:07,681
This is raw! This mullet is raw!
What do we do to it?
463
00:21:07,761 --> 00:21:09,641
Kurt! Kurt! Kurt, listen.
464
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:12,281
What do we do with this, hmm?
Do we grill it?
465
00:21:12,361 --> 00:21:14,841
If we grill it, just go, "uh".
466
00:21:15,161 --> 00:21:17,561
All right, do we fry it? Just go, "uh".
467
00:21:17,721 --> 00:21:19,281
(KURT VOMITING)
468
00:21:20,401 --> 00:21:22,841
- Going well, isn't it?
- Basil, will you just get out?
469
00:21:22,921 --> 00:21:23,921
Right!
470
00:21:25,561 --> 00:21:26,761
- Wine!
- What?
471
00:21:26,841 --> 00:21:30,601
The colonel wants some wine.
No, you go, Polly. He won't hit a woman.
472
00:21:33,801 --> 00:21:36,321
Have you, er... Have you chosen yet, Major?
473
00:21:36,441 --> 00:21:38,881
Colonel! Have you chosen your wine?
474
00:21:38,961 --> 00:21:40,681
Oh, yes. Chablis, please.
475
00:21:40,761 --> 00:21:41,841
Thank you.
476
00:21:41,921 --> 00:21:43,521
- Waitress?
- Yes.
477
00:21:44,481 --> 00:21:46,321
There's a hair in my mousse.
478
00:21:47,761 --> 00:21:50,601
Well, don't talk too loud.
Everybody will want one.
479
00:21:50,681 --> 00:21:51,761
What?
480
00:21:51,841 --> 00:21:52,841
Sorry.
481
00:21:59,961 --> 00:22:02,961
Oh, get out of the way. Get out.
482
00:22:03,961 --> 00:22:05,401
I'm so sorry about that.
483
00:22:05,481 --> 00:22:06,881
The mullet's on its way.
484
00:22:19,641 --> 00:22:21,641
- André.
- Ah, monsieur Fawlty. There you are.
485
00:22:21,721 --> 00:22:25,561
A beautiful duck for you.
It should be, mmm, delicious. Top!
486
00:22:27,561 --> 00:22:31,521
He's always asleep. There you are.
Don't forget the sauces. There.
487
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:32,601
- Thank you.
- All right.
488
00:22:32,681 --> 00:22:35,361
- Oh, marvellous.
- I hope it all goes very well for you.
489
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,001
Good luck.
490
00:22:50,121 --> 00:22:51,201
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
491
00:22:51,281 --> 00:22:52,321
Come on!
492
00:22:55,721 --> 00:22:58,401
- What, no good?
- No, it's very good.
493
00:23:24,801 --> 00:23:26,201
Here it is, Polly.
494
00:23:26,441 --> 00:23:27,881
Right, I'll carve it on the trolley.
495
00:23:27,961 --> 00:23:30,081
Well, then, well done, everybody.
496
00:23:30,161 --> 00:23:33,441
Ah, Manuel, get the trolley ready.
Right, right, let's go.
497
00:23:33,601 --> 00:23:34,601
Basil!
498
00:23:34,681 --> 00:23:35,721
(SHRIEKING)
499
00:23:35,801 --> 00:23:38,281
Look what you've done,
you stupid great tart!
500
00:23:38,361 --> 00:23:40,281
Wait a minute. I think it'll be all right.
501
00:23:40,361 --> 00:23:41,961
Yes. Yes, you're right!
502
00:23:46,721 --> 00:23:48,681
Look! Look at it!
503
00:23:49,441 --> 00:23:51,041
I mean, look at that!
504
00:23:51,121 --> 00:23:53,441
- Can I help, dear?
- Yes! Go and kill yourself!
505
00:23:53,521 --> 00:23:55,761
No, talk to André first!
506
00:23:55,841 --> 00:23:59,641
Tell him we need another one!
Oh, go talk to them.
507
00:23:59,721 --> 00:24:01,881
- What?
- Entertain them, or something.
508
00:24:01,961 --> 00:24:03,961
André, Sybil Fawlty.
509
00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:05,441
Well, I'm afraid it got trodden on.
510
00:24:12,961 --> 00:24:14,361
(MANUEL SINGING)
511
00:24:20,401 --> 00:24:22,761
Sorry, so wrong. I try again.
512
00:24:34,441 --> 00:24:36,921
- André! Where is it?
- Don't worry. It's all under control.
513
00:24:37,001 --> 00:24:38,881
- Isn't it beautiful?
- Fantastic.
514
00:24:38,961 --> 00:24:40,561
- Okay.
- Wait a minute!
515
00:24:40,641 --> 00:24:42,201
- What?
- The most important.
516
00:24:42,281 --> 00:24:44,001
- More sauces.
- I don't need...
517
00:24:44,081 --> 00:24:45,681
Sorry, I don't need them.
518
00:24:45,761 --> 00:24:48,121
- That's all right.
- You're all right?
519
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:03,801
Come on!
520
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:08,881
Come on!
521
00:25:10,441 --> 00:25:11,561
Olé!
522
00:25:18,921 --> 00:25:22,121
♪ I'm just a girl who can't say no
523
00:25:22,241 --> 00:25:24,721
♪ I'm in a terrible fix... ♪
524
00:25:29,801 --> 00:25:31,321
Come...
525
00:25:41,281 --> 00:25:42,761
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
526
00:25:45,401 --> 00:25:46,401
Start!
527
00:25:47,441 --> 00:25:50,961
Start, you vicious bastard! Come on!
528
00:25:52,401 --> 00:25:55,121
Oh, my God! I'm warning you!
529
00:25:55,201 --> 00:25:57,041
If you don't start...
530
00:25:58,321 --> 00:25:59,801
I'll count to three.
531
00:25:59,881 --> 00:26:03,801
One. Two. Three. Right!
532
00:26:04,041 --> 00:26:09,121
That's it! I've had enough!
You've tried it on just once too often! Right!
533
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:14,601
Well, don't say I haven't warned you!
I've laid it on the line to you time and time again!
534
00:26:14,921 --> 00:26:16,721
Right! Well, this is it!
535
00:26:16,801 --> 00:26:19,481
I'm gonna give you a damn good thrashing!
536
00:26:30,161 --> 00:26:32,481
♪ Can't be prissy and quaint
537
00:26:32,561 --> 00:26:35,161
♪ How can I be what I ain't?
538
00:26:35,281 --> 00:26:39,241
♪ I can't say no ♪
539
00:26:43,921 --> 00:26:46,361
- Is wonderful!
- Very, very good.
540
00:26:46,441 --> 00:26:47,481
Thank you.
541
00:26:47,561 --> 00:26:50,921
Er, any sign of the duck?
542
00:26:51,521 --> 00:26:52,721
Oh, it's just coming.
543
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:05,241
So, Uncle Ted comes in
with his crate of brown ale,
544
00:27:08,241 --> 00:27:11,481
and Mother says,
"Oh, Ted, look who's here,"
545
00:27:11,561 --> 00:27:13,001
and he says...
546
00:27:14,601 --> 00:27:15,801
- Okay, Polly!
- Okay!
547
00:27:15,881 --> 00:27:17,081
- Got the sauces?
- Got them.
548
00:27:17,161 --> 00:27:18,161
Right!
549
00:27:21,161 --> 00:27:22,721
Ladies and gentlemen,
550
00:27:24,161 --> 00:27:26,601
so sorry to have kept you waiting.
551
00:27:52,441 --> 00:27:54,601
Well, er, who's for trifle?
552
00:27:55,481 --> 00:27:57,801
- What?
- Trifle for you, Mrs Hall?
553
00:27:58,841 --> 00:28:01,921
What about the duck, Fawlty?
554
00:28:05,841 --> 00:28:06,841
Duck's off, sorry.
42890
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