All language subtitles for Avenue 5 - 01x08 - This Is Physically Hurting Me.GHOSTS.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,523 --> 00:00:02,467 MAN: There he is. Bless you. 2 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,844 - RYAN CLARK: Do you see it, Billy? - The pope I do not see. 3 00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,010 That right there... Is that an ear? 4 00:00:07,045 --> 00:00:08,629 No, it's a piece of shit. 5 00:00:08,837 --> 00:00:09,968 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 6 00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:11,054 For fuck's sake, get out of my way. 7 00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:12,719 - He's Harrison. - RYAN CLARK: Who is Harrison? 8 00:00:12,754 --> 00:00:14,180 Somebody that I'm not scared of. 9 00:00:14,216 --> 00:00:16,347 You remember Joe paired your hand print 10 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,968 - with the emergency console? - You want me to dock the ship? 11 00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:21,218 You can learn because we have three-and-a-half years. 12 00:00:21,253 --> 00:00:22,260 Is that enough time? 13 00:00:22,295 --> 00:00:23,629 No. You can't do it. Who am I kidding? 14 00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:25,343 - RAV MULCAIR: We need Judd here. - How? 15 00:00:25,378 --> 00:00:26,660 We bring him back on the supply pod. 16 00:00:26,696 --> 00:00:27,779 - ALAN LEWIS: Rav! - MULCAIR: Not now! 17 00:00:27,815 --> 00:00:30,282 I'm not going anywhere until I've launched the shuttle. 18 00:00:30,503 --> 00:00:31,712 (SCREAMING) 19 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,828 If we eject the equivalent weight of 500 people... 20 00:00:34,864 --> 00:00:38,571 Pushing us in striking distance of Earth within six months. 21 00:00:38,607 --> 00:00:40,158 - (CHEERING) - Non-essential items 22 00:00:40,194 --> 00:00:42,218 to the hallway for jettisoning. 23 00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:43,635 You can follow my lead. 24 00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:44,720 I overpacked. 25 00:00:50,337 --> 00:00:54,462 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 26 00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:57,973 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 27 00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:02,201 Thank you, you may join the line. 28 00:01:03,045 --> 00:01:05,051 So, what non-essential items 29 00:01:05,086 --> 00:01:06,677 will you be getting rid of today? 30 00:01:06,712 --> 00:01:08,260 I've got two pairs of shoes. 31 00:01:08,295 --> 00:01:11,968 Uh-uh. No. You cannot and you will not lose these. 32 00:01:12,003 --> 00:01:14,176 - Oh, thank you. - What do you know? 33 00:01:14,211 --> 00:01:17,510 Um, jettison the loafers, we keep the heels. 34 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,093 - These are my only shoes. - Honey. 35 00:01:19,128 --> 00:01:22,135 Count yourself lucky. Karen tried to get rid of me. 36 00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:24,926 I mean, we have complementary slippers, so... 37 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:26,594 - Thank you, join the line. - Thank you. 38 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:27,718 - Thank you. - KAREN KELLY: Thank you. 39 00:01:28,253 --> 00:01:29,176 They didn't laugh. 40 00:01:29,211 --> 00:01:30,760 - At what, sweetie? - My joke. 41 00:01:30,795 --> 00:01:33,468 I was implying I was non-essential, 42 00:01:33,503 --> 00:01:34,968 but they took it seriously. 43 00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:38,372 It was insanely funny. I was just laughing on the inside. 44 00:01:39,128 --> 00:01:42,761 Hi, sweetie. What have you got for me today? Oh! 45 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,895 Oh, my. This is a tough life lesson, right? 46 00:01:46,761 --> 00:01:48,050 RYAN CLARK: Sorry I'm late. 47 00:01:48,712 --> 00:01:51,635 Just been depositing ten kilos of emotional baggage 48 00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:53,618 with Karen, the Empress of the Jetsam. 49 00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:56,135 BILLIE MCEVOY: If you're late when it comes to flying this thing for real, 50 00:01:56,170 --> 00:01:57,337 we're all gonna die. 51 00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,302 - Okay. - All right. 52 00:01:59,337 --> 00:02:01,844 So, let's just get you settled, and... 53 00:02:01,879 --> 00:02:03,135 'Kay, no, hold on. 54 00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:05,368 Can you... Could you... just give me a little bit of space? 55 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:07,677 Feels like I'm trying to urinate 56 00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,343 in front of a war crimes tribunal. 57 00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,302 - What an image. Okay. - RYAN: Thank you very much. 58 00:02:11,337 --> 00:02:13,427 - Thank you. - Guys, just give him some room. 59 00:02:13,462 --> 00:02:17,176 - Okay, so... - Yeah. Can I adjust the seat? 60 00:02:17,211 --> 00:02:18,378 No, the seat is... 61 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,630 - That's too high. - Yeah. So, can... 62 00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:25,135 That's probably too low. 63 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:26,760 Yeah. Um... Okay... Can you just leave 64 00:02:26,795 --> 00:02:28,677 - leave the fucking seat... - Fucking seat alone. Right. 65 00:02:28,712 --> 00:02:29,926 Yeah, leave that alone. 66 00:02:29,961 --> 00:02:31,844 Okay, let's begin. 67 00:02:31,879 --> 00:02:34,218 - Starting the engine. - Wait, wait! No! 68 00:02:34,253 --> 00:02:36,635 Because the laterals are still engaged. So... 69 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:38,176 Stopping the engine 70 00:02:38,211 --> 00:02:41,385 and disengaging the laterals, whatever they are. 71 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:42,510 How do I do that? 72 00:02:42,545 --> 00:02:44,260 - Come on. Come on, man. - (SHUSHING) No. 73 00:02:44,295 --> 00:02:46,802 - This is physically hurting me. - Just give him a second, he's working it out. 74 00:02:46,837 --> 00:02:48,449 - This is his process. - RYAN: This is... This is... 75 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:51,076 Why didn't they just have a button that says "disengage..." 76 00:02:51,112 --> 00:02:52,385 Oh, look, they have... look! 77 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,427 - Yeah. - Yeah. Can I press it? 78 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,552 At this point, I'm beginning to wonder. 79 00:02:56,587 --> 00:02:58,385 Oh, wait. Yay. You can. 80 00:02:58,420 --> 00:02:59,885 Uh, now I start the engine. 81 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,552 Uh, no, because you've got to clear the filters, 82 00:03:02,587 --> 00:03:03,677 which you do... 83 00:03:03,712 --> 00:03:06,712 - before you ignite... - After I ignite the Eng... 84 00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:08,468 (GROANS) 85 00:03:08,503 --> 00:03:09,995 Is that a good explosion? 86 00:03:10,271 --> 00:03:12,403 Well, we were in it. 87 00:03:12,879 --> 00:03:16,468 KAREN: Each item, ask yourself, "Would I exchange that trinket 88 00:03:16,503 --> 00:03:17,818 for a human life?" 89 00:03:17,854 --> 00:03:21,385 Because basically, everything we own right now, blood diamonds. 90 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:23,051 Hey, how 'bout this? 91 00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:25,086 It's like an estate sale, and we're not even dead. 92 00:03:25,795 --> 00:03:27,385 I'm doing my part. (CHUCKLES) 93 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:28,385 - Hey, Fudd! - Fuck. 94 00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:29,968 Have a look at these winners. 95 00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:31,677 You know, these are more valuable to me 96 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,510 than my previous and current wives combined. 97 00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:35,635 - Oh yeah? - Mm-hmm. 98 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:38,926 Well, I'm more about personal responsibility, 99 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:41,427 which is why I'm donating a Beatle skull. 100 00:03:41,462 --> 00:03:43,677 Paul. No, wait, George. 101 00:03:43,712 --> 00:03:46,629 Smaller cranium, protruding mandible. 102 00:03:47,545 --> 00:03:48,587 Oh. 103 00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,175 Well... 104 00:03:50,211 --> 00:03:51,885 (WOMAN GASPS) 105 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,427 Something in the way he moves. 106 00:03:53,462 --> 00:03:55,552 Hmm. What are your plans for your skull when you die? 107 00:03:55,587 --> 00:03:56,968 I would love to drink out of that. 108 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,926 You threatening my skull? 109 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:00,635 Is he threatening to drink out of my skull? 110 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,343 Why would you let him talk to me like that? 111 00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:03,677 I'll never let it happen again. 112 00:04:03,712 --> 00:04:06,343 You know, I can't wait to see you led away in shackles, 113 00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:08,885 like the leisure industry huckster you are. 114 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:10,754 Good luck jettisoning those babies. 115 00:04:11,295 --> 00:04:13,010 Okay, so concentrate. 116 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,135 - Right hand, left foot. - Right hand, left... 117 00:04:15,170 --> 00:04:18,385 - Left hand, left foot. Ignite... - ...foot. Left hand, left... 118 00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:20,968 - ...and throttle up for downward motion. - Oh, what is this? 119 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:23,260 - Right hand, right foot. - Fucking country dancing? 120 00:04:23,295 --> 00:04:25,635 - Okay, come here! Let me... - Just let go, all right? 121 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,844 I can do this. I'm not in a care home. 122 00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:31,093 Okay. I want you to increase the thrust. 123 00:04:31,128 --> 00:04:33,093 Ease up. Ease up. 124 00:04:33,128 --> 00:04:34,793 - Ease up! Ease up! - Is...? Is that...? 125 00:04:35,128 --> 00:04:38,051 Hey, little man. Here's what we're gonna do. 126 00:04:38,086 --> 00:04:40,218 You're gonna thank him for his service, 127 00:04:40,253 --> 00:04:41,961 and then send him to his death. 128 00:04:42,712 --> 00:04:43,702 Yes! 129 00:04:44,337 --> 00:04:47,218 Hey, Matt. You know what? Screw Harrison. 130 00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:48,760 Anyway, stuff's just stuff. 131 00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:51,010 What's more important is "people." 132 00:04:51,045 --> 00:04:52,302 Sir, you're doing it again. 133 00:04:52,337 --> 00:04:54,010 You're air quoting around "people." 134 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,099 Hmm? Look, hypothetically, 135 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,760 if I were to just disappear, 136 00:04:58,795 --> 00:05:00,885 she wouldn't know what to do with herself. 137 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,051 She'd be a fucking train wreck. An absolute mess. 138 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,385 You can still see me, right? 139 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,218 I'm non-hypothetically right here. 140 00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:10,494 So I need you to promise me to work with her, Matt, 141 00:05:10,795 --> 00:05:12,552 in the event of my departure. 142 00:05:12,587 --> 00:05:15,807 - Oh, I get it. You're diseased. - HERMAN JUDD: No. 143 00:05:15,843 --> 00:05:18,218 Um... (WHISPERING) A shuttle is coming to Avenue 5, 144 00:05:18,253 --> 00:05:21,135 and they only have room for one passenger to return to Earth. 145 00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:24,926 (WHISPERING) I'm going. It's, uh... the, um... 146 00:05:24,961 --> 00:05:27,302 - Ultimate sacrifice. - Ultimate sacrifice. 147 00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:28,760 I'm leaving so that 148 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,594 everyone else on the ship has a chance. 149 00:05:31,629 --> 00:05:34,135 Are you sure you're comfortable leaving us 150 00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,135 in the incapable hands of a captain 151 00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:38,041 who has a serious addiction problem? 152 00:05:38,077 --> 00:05:39,093 (NORMAL VOICE) What? Addiction? 153 00:05:39,128 --> 00:05:41,552 - He is slamming sedatives. - What? 154 00:05:41,587 --> 00:05:43,135 And who knows what else? 155 00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:46,010 Hypnotics, opiates, floaters, 156 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,051 - whompers, daddy dust. - Oh no. 157 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,427 - MATT SPENCER: Could be. - No. No! 158 00:05:49,462 --> 00:05:52,385 Not with a J on his uniform, he's not. (SHOUTS) Iris! 159 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,510 - I'm right here. - Oh. 160 00:05:54,218 --> 00:05:55,218 - (EXPLOSION ON SCREEN) - Oh, shitty biscuits! 161 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:56,010 (BILLIE GROANS) 162 00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:58,594 - CYRUS: That's a 100 dead. 500 dead. Seven hund... - (RYAN GROANS) 163 00:05:58,629 --> 00:06:00,468 - Two thousand dead, 25... - BILLIE: Just keep going... 164 00:06:00,503 --> 00:06:02,427 - That wasn't right. Oh! Damn it. - CYRUS: Three thousand! Three thousand, three Th... 165 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,093 - Four thousand! Five thousand. - God, what are those? Are those body parts? 166 00:06:05,128 --> 00:06:07,552 - Um... - Why would you simulate body parts? 167 00:06:07,587 --> 00:06:10,468 - (BILLIE GROANS) - (AMERICAN ACCENT) And that, Billie, is... 168 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:12,968 how you crash, okay? 169 00:06:13,003 --> 00:06:14,594 So let's try and remember that. 170 00:06:14,629 --> 00:06:17,968 It's right hand, left foot, left hand, left foot. 171 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,468 Okay? Gorgeous. 172 00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:21,552 She's a little, uh, a little slow. 173 00:06:21,587 --> 00:06:23,302 (SCOFFS) That's the first time you got it right. 174 00:06:23,337 --> 00:06:24,635 (QUIETLY) I was just making it up. 175 00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:26,260 So, what do you guys, um... 176 00:06:26,295 --> 00:06:28,135 - Yeah, how can we help you? - What do you guys need? 177 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,760 Uh, we thought that Tabasco storage was in here. 178 00:06:30,795 --> 00:06:31,802 Well, it's not. 179 00:06:31,837 --> 00:06:34,093 Well, I'm kinda having a Bloody Mary emergency. 180 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:36,051 Yeah. You guys know Bloody Mary? 181 00:06:36,086 --> 00:06:37,510 It's an old drink named after this woman 182 00:06:37,545 --> 00:06:39,594 who liked to set Protestants on fire. 183 00:06:39,629 --> 00:06:41,985 It's delish, and we need Tabasco for it. 184 00:06:42,211 --> 00:06:43,587 Huh. I like this. 185 00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,328 Shabby chic. 186 00:06:46,128 --> 00:06:49,051 (CHUCKLES) That's funny. It's mean, though. 187 00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:50,302 Yeah, what goes on here? 188 00:06:50,337 --> 00:06:52,427 There's a lot of tech for a locker room. 189 00:06:52,462 --> 00:06:54,051 (STAMMERING) But it is just that. 190 00:06:54,086 --> 00:06:57,594 It's just a u... storage unit cum clubhouse. 191 00:06:57,629 --> 00:06:58,760 Cum clubhouse? 192 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,594 - We just... - We... We... We... 193 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:01,885 - ...hang out. - Hang out. 194 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,635 - She wants us to leave, Spike. - SPIKE MARTIN: Oh, okay. 195 00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:06,468 Yeah, they probably got some freaky roleplay going on. 196 00:07:06,503 --> 00:07:08,343 I will get you that Bloody Mary. 197 00:07:08,378 --> 00:07:10,369 I swear this on the blood of Mary. 198 00:07:11,378 --> 00:07:13,635 RAV MULCAIR: (GASPING) Oh, I'm gonna die! Oh, shit! 199 00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:14,802 Oh, hairy balls. 200 00:07:14,837 --> 00:07:19,837 Exiting Earth's atmosphere in three, two, one... 201 00:07:21,587 --> 00:07:24,635 (BREATHING RAPIDLY) 202 00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:26,110 There. Feeling better? 203 00:07:26,462 --> 00:07:27,719 Stopped squeaking? 204 00:07:27,754 --> 00:07:30,010 - (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES) Good. 205 00:07:30,045 --> 00:07:33,719 Right, I'm just gonna listen to this true crime podcast 206 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,552 about that Greta Gerwig thing. 207 00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:37,343 Oh yeah, everyone's got a theory about that. 208 00:07:37,378 --> 00:07:38,545 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 209 00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:41,503 Mmm... So... 210 00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,378 - Do you do these trips often? - (SIGHS) 211 00:07:48,045 --> 00:07:50,176 Well, I'm a pilot, so... 212 00:07:50,211 --> 00:07:52,010 - yeah. - (LAUGHS) Yeah. 213 00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:54,343 Fancy a job swap? You can run Mission Control. 214 00:07:54,378 --> 00:07:57,670 Oh, God no. (LAUGHING) Jesus Christ. 215 00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:00,837 It's a shit show. 216 00:08:03,754 --> 00:08:06,468 - Not if I see you first. - WOMAN: Okay, Captain. 217 00:08:06,503 --> 00:08:08,844 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Oh, great. Am I about to get whacked? 218 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,093 This is an intervention. 219 00:08:10,128 --> 00:08:12,343 Oh, exciting. Who's getting intervented? 220 00:08:12,378 --> 00:08:14,019 I know about the drugs, Ryan. 221 00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:16,468 - The drugs? - Don't be a junkie. 222 00:08:16,503 --> 00:08:18,620 Don't destroy that perfect skin. 223 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:22,594 You think I... The sedatives were for you! 224 00:08:22,629 --> 00:08:24,594 (CHUCKLING) I don't need sedatives. 225 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,510 There is no one on this ship who needs sedatives more. 226 00:08:27,545 --> 00:08:29,343 You're like a whole zoo escaped. 227 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,594 I was trying to give everyone a break. 228 00:08:31,629 --> 00:08:33,926 - (SHOUTS) Iris! - I'm right here. 229 00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:36,051 This is... This is a public area situation. 230 00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:37,260 He tried... 231 00:08:37,295 --> 00:08:39,135 to mutiny against me. 232 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,522 She was in on it! 233 00:08:41,253 --> 00:08:43,968 That is so absurd, I don't even need to deny it. 234 00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:47,010 Oh, Iris, you are presently shitting me. 235 00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:49,218 If it's all the same, Iris, I'd like to hear you deny it. 236 00:08:49,253 --> 00:08:51,260 - Denied. - There you go. Perfect. See? 237 00:08:51,295 --> 00:08:54,051 I mean, look at him. Junkie fuck. 238 00:08:54,086 --> 00:08:56,385 He'd slash his nana's throat for half an Advil. 239 00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,343 Okay, well, if we're done here, 240 00:08:58,378 --> 00:08:59,510 I have an appointment on the bridge, 241 00:08:59,545 --> 00:09:01,885 exchanging synthetic bollocks with the crew. 242 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,872 No! I forbid it! You're fired! 243 00:09:05,929 --> 00:09:07,366 (JUDD GRUNTS) 244 00:09:07,402 --> 00:09:08,260 What? 245 00:09:08,295 --> 00:09:09,626 - Sir. - Got that? 246 00:09:10,261 --> 00:09:12,218 You are stood down from your position 247 00:09:12,253 --> 00:09:14,427 - pending immediate court-martial. - Am I? 248 00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:15,885 Actually, we don't have the facility... 249 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,302 - Do we have a brig? - You're just upset 250 00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:19,260 - about the way Harrison spoke to you. - I wanna see you rot 251 00:09:19,295 --> 00:09:20,926 - in space prison. - Space prison? 252 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,510 Let's climb down from a place of anger. 253 00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:25,093 Oh, I don't get angry. I have two emotions. 254 00:09:25,128 --> 00:09:27,260 - Yeah? - Elation and genius. 255 00:09:27,295 --> 00:09:29,885 - You are de-captained. - What are you doing? No, no, no! 256 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,260 No, no. No, let... 257 00:09:31,295 --> 00:09:32,926 - IRIS: Okay... Whoa... - RYAN: Right, that is it! 258 00:09:32,961 --> 00:09:34,385 I've had enough. All right? 259 00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:38,260 I am not bowing and scraping to a demented child any longer! 260 00:09:38,295 --> 00:09:40,635 She's not a child. She's a grown woman! 261 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:41,968 - What? - I'm talking about you! 262 00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:43,176 Oh, well, fuck you then! 263 00:09:43,211 --> 00:09:45,302 No more tugging my forelock! 264 00:09:45,337 --> 00:09:47,594 In fact, you can fucking have my forelock. 265 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,135 (ALL GASP) 266 00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:50,968 Oh my god! He's taking his head off! 267 00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:52,802 JUDD: Oh, what are you doing? That's disgusting! 268 00:09:52,837 --> 00:09:54,510 WOMAN: Oh my god, he's taking off his head! 269 00:09:54,545 --> 00:09:56,885 - Is he removing a microchip? - TERI: Is he an android? 270 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,176 Is that a hairpiece? You're British and bald? 271 00:10:00,211 --> 00:10:02,093 Balding! Balding! 272 00:10:02,128 --> 00:10:03,468 His lovely, lovely hair! 273 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:06,968 Re-hair yourself! Please! I'll re-captain you! 274 00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:08,468 Actually, that's an order! 275 00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:10,302 - Put that thing back on! - No. No. You can't give me orders anymore. 276 00:10:10,337 --> 00:10:11,510 - JUDD: What? - 'Cause I'm a civilian. 277 00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,510 All right, coming through, coming through! 278 00:10:13,545 --> 00:10:16,112 Chief petty passenger. I'm one of you now. 279 00:10:16,519 --> 00:10:18,802 Oh, this wall, seems awfully curvy. 280 00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:21,719 Why have they done that? One star, I think. 281 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,844 (SHOUTING) Fuck you, Captain Opioid! 282 00:10:24,179 --> 00:10:28,419 I'm gonna take this filthy hair to clean my shower... 283 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,051 and my own balls! 284 00:10:31,086 --> 00:10:32,920 I've got a loofah! 285 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:34,743 (NORMAL VOICE) Hey! 286 00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:37,587 I want this ship re-captained. 287 00:10:38,545 --> 00:10:40,837 SPIKE: Nitro level is good. 288 00:10:42,961 --> 00:10:44,343 Looking real good, ladies. 289 00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:46,417 Beautiful orbit. Okay. 290 00:10:46,795 --> 00:10:49,670 Okay, radial axis parameters? 291 00:10:51,253 --> 00:10:52,343 MADS: Uh... 292 00:10:52,378 --> 00:10:56,343 Modular... nomination units scanning all fields? 293 00:10:56,378 --> 00:11:00,280 Good. It's not what I asked, but switch it to manual, please. 294 00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:01,802 Oh, shit. Really? 295 00:11:01,837 --> 00:11:03,468 SPIKE: Oh yeah. I can't wait. 296 00:11:03,503 --> 00:11:04,510 I got this. 297 00:11:04,545 --> 00:11:05,510 Yeah. 298 00:11:05,545 --> 00:11:06,885 SPIKE: Now, let's see if these old fingers 299 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,837 can still tickle a big gal. 300 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,005 Well, that's weird. It's not responding. 301 00:11:14,295 --> 00:11:17,635 Oh, none of it responds. Look, if I just... 302 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,051 (WHISPERING) Just sort of improv it. 303 00:11:19,086 --> 00:11:22,260 Okay, if this is hazing 'cause it's my first day, 304 00:11:22,295 --> 00:11:23,343 I don't appreciate it. 305 00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,343 Oh, no, no, it's great. It's just... 306 00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:26,898 you know, mime it a bit. 307 00:11:27,337 --> 00:11:30,677 Okay, I'm just gonna go to comms. 308 00:11:30,712 --> 00:11:31,719 (INAUDIBLE) 309 00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:32,879 Fuck's sake. 310 00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:35,844 Is that junk for my collection? 311 00:11:35,879 --> 00:11:37,677 Oh, well, firstly, this is not junk, 312 00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:40,093 and secondly, it's not really your collection. 313 00:11:40,128 --> 00:11:43,010 Well, I've been put in charge of it, so... 314 00:11:43,045 --> 00:11:44,885 Well, I don't know who put you in charge of it, 315 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,844 but this was my idea. I mean, you should be using this stuff 316 00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:49,552 to build a statue of me. 317 00:11:49,587 --> 00:11:53,802 Wow. Maybe you could donate your incredibly big head. 318 00:11:53,837 --> 00:11:55,844 Wow. I was only joking. 319 00:11:55,879 --> 00:11:57,552 She's not really getting jokes today. 320 00:11:57,587 --> 00:11:59,385 - Frank. - JADEN: Hi, question. 321 00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:01,594 If we really are moving at thousands of miles an hour, 322 00:12:01,629 --> 00:12:02,926 how come it doesn't feel like it? 323 00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:05,719 I don't have time to explain all of physics to you. 324 00:12:05,754 --> 00:12:08,051 Okay, you don't have to explain all of physics to me, 325 00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:11,218 I work in VFX. It stands for visual effects? 326 00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:14,176 Oh. Well, I would like to see a visual effect of you 327 00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,760 - not talking to me. - Okay, rude. 328 00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:19,051 Billie is only 30 percent flesh and blood. 329 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,260 The rest is... I don't know. Bone? 330 00:12:21,295 --> 00:12:23,260 And I'm still waiting on your ten kilos. 331 00:12:23,295 --> 00:12:24,635 You want a donation? 332 00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:26,260 I don't want this. 333 00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:29,510 Well. Why don't you take one of these stupid heavy things... 334 00:12:29,545 --> 00:12:31,968 Oh. It's actually quite light. 335 00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:34,719 There are a lot of them, and they're completely useless, 336 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:39,003 so there is your donation, and you're welcome. 337 00:12:39,879 --> 00:12:42,552 - That came off pretty easy. - Yeah. 338 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:45,176 - Put it back, Frank. - Feel like a movie set. 339 00:12:45,211 --> 00:12:46,635 - MIKE: Yeah. - JADEN: You know, I should know. 340 00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:48,719 (CHUCKLES) I... I actually... I'm around movie sets a lot. 341 00:12:48,754 --> 00:12:51,462 I work in VFX. Stands for visual effects. 342 00:12:55,629 --> 00:12:56,670 (RAV CLEARS THROAT) 343 00:12:57,961 --> 00:12:59,926 I mean, things might blow over, though. 344 00:12:59,961 --> 00:13:02,135 You know, while you're up on, uh, Avenue 5. 345 00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:03,844 (SIGHS) Yeah, well, I think it'll take 346 00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:06,677 more than a couple of days to blow over. 347 00:13:06,712 --> 00:13:09,135 Well, you're gonna be more than a couple of days. 348 00:13:09,170 --> 00:13:12,302 (CHUCKLES) Sorry, sorry. I'm not staying on Avenue 5. 349 00:13:12,337 --> 00:13:15,802 I'm grabbing Mr. Judd, and then we are going back. 350 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,385 Yeah... we're going back. 351 00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:20,677 Yes, we're going back. 352 00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,051 Yeah, but my "we're" or your "we're"? 353 00:13:22,086 --> 00:13:23,594 I feel like we're at crossed "we'res." 354 00:13:23,629 --> 00:13:25,802 We are... Look, you, me, and Mr. Judd. 355 00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:27,802 We are all going back to Earth. 356 00:13:27,837 --> 00:13:30,010 Not if Mr. Judd is on this shuttle, you're not. 357 00:13:30,045 --> 00:13:32,051 Well, can you give me one good reason why not? 358 00:13:32,086 --> 00:13:34,754 I can give you two. Count the seats. 359 00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:37,968 WOMAN: (IN FOREIGN ACCENT) Hurry up. 360 00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,677 - Hesitation gives me headache. - All right, sorry, 361 00:13:39,712 --> 00:13:40,926 I'm a buffet virgin. 362 00:13:40,961 --> 00:13:42,302 DEVON: Hey, grandpa, can you hurry up? 363 00:13:42,337 --> 00:13:44,635 - Trying to get to the bacon. - I'm getting gang buffeted. 364 00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:47,253 (WOMAN SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 365 00:13:52,045 --> 00:13:53,635 (SCANNER BUZZES) 366 00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:55,176 What are you doing? 367 00:13:55,211 --> 00:13:56,552 Uh, well, I'm... I'm just... 368 00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:58,635 You just swipe it like this. It's really not hard, you know? 369 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,629 - Okay. All right. Sorry. - DEVON: Jesus. 370 00:14:01,754 --> 00:14:02,802 Problem paying? 371 00:14:02,837 --> 00:14:05,176 Uh, yes. I don't know why. It just seems to... 372 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,427 It doesn't come up. Uh... Is it... Is it okay 373 00:14:07,462 --> 00:14:09,010 - if I take this and just... - Sorry, sir. 374 00:14:09,045 --> 00:14:10,218 I can't allow you to do that. 375 00:14:10,253 --> 00:14:12,510 You're down as a passenger now. 376 00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:15,135 - So... just... - I'm... What? I'm not... 377 00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,635 Oh, I see what he's done. 378 00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:19,051 So, what do I do? I just eat the furniture? 379 00:14:19,086 --> 00:14:20,468 Hey. Everything okay? 380 00:14:20,503 --> 00:14:23,218 He doesn't have any Judd Bucks in his account. 381 00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,385 Matt, tell him, will you? 382 00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:26,253 - I'm gonna take care of this. - Okay. 383 00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:28,260 Come here. 384 00:14:28,295 --> 00:14:30,385 I'm probably gonna have to call security on you, 385 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,510 but I promise I'll give you a big head start. 386 00:14:32,545 --> 00:14:34,885 And don't try to hide in your cabin. 387 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,719 'Cause Judd gave it to Spike. 388 00:14:36,754 --> 00:14:38,879 Right. So that's his game, is it? 389 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,760 Okay, well, I've got another game 390 00:14:41,795 --> 00:14:43,337 that I'm playing. It's called... 391 00:14:46,462 --> 00:14:48,343 Yeah, it's okay. Names are hard. 392 00:14:48,378 --> 00:14:50,161 No, I've got it. It's called... 393 00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:55,054 It's called "Fuck You in the Stupid Fucking Face 394 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,343 and I Hope Your Spaceship Fucking Crashes. 395 00:14:58,378 --> 00:15:00,093 - Fuck You" is what it's called. - Yeah. 396 00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:01,587 That sounds like a good game. 397 00:15:02,378 --> 00:15:04,176 This has got to be 398 00:15:04,211 --> 00:15:06,260 the greatest yard sale of all time. 399 00:15:06,295 --> 00:15:10,385 Hello. Hello, thank you for your service. Yes. Yes. 400 00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,760 You know, this is how I made my first ten bucks. 401 00:15:12,795 --> 00:15:14,565 I thought you stole it from your dad. 402 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,594 Yeah. Yeah, I know. I get confused. 403 00:15:16,629 --> 00:15:19,051 That's what happens when you write three autobiographies. 404 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,677 - (WHISPERS) Don't worry, I got this. - Uh-oh. 405 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,176 Oh, Fudd. I know. 406 00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:25,135 What do you know? Your own limitations? 407 00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:29,010 Oh, no. I know about the shuttle, small balls. 408 00:15:29,045 --> 00:15:30,302 There's no space on that shuttle. 409 00:15:30,337 --> 00:15:31,802 What shuttle? Fuck, shit. 410 00:15:31,837 --> 00:15:33,135 You should have said the second part 411 00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:34,135 and not the first part. 412 00:15:34,170 --> 00:15:35,552 When this is over, you'll be in prison, 413 00:15:35,587 --> 00:15:37,844 doing business via a phone stored up your own asshole 414 00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:40,260 whilst I'll be running my new space travel company, 415 00:15:40,295 --> 00:15:41,968 one that gets its passengers home 416 00:15:42,003 --> 00:15:44,218 before their kids die of old age. 417 00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:45,802 - (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) No, you arsehole. - What...? 418 00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:48,093 - You'll be making children... - What are you d...? 419 00:15:48,128 --> 00:15:50,010 ...and yanking on your knickerbocker 420 00:15:50,045 --> 00:15:51,802 - while it makes goof juice. - That... None... 421 00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:54,135 - None of that is English. - You know what I'll be doing? 422 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:57,844 (NORMAL VOICE) I'll be back in my home rebuilding my empire. 423 00:15:57,879 --> 00:15:59,468 With what? Your own dung? 424 00:15:59,503 --> 00:16:01,594 No, not my dung. Idiot. 425 00:16:01,629 --> 00:16:03,343 Ooh, zing. 426 00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:06,093 You let me in on the shuttle, and I'll drop all my lawsuits against you. 427 00:16:06,128 --> 00:16:08,844 Back off, buddy, or you will feel my wrath. 428 00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:11,876 And I am fire. Literally fire. 429 00:16:12,211 --> 00:16:14,385 I will burn the jelly in your fat eyes, 430 00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:16,751 and use your tongue to wipe surfaces with. 431 00:16:17,203 --> 00:16:20,328 I want you both to know that I am not afraid of women. 432 00:16:21,086 --> 00:16:23,253 I simply now choose to walk away. 433 00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:28,010 - You mincing narcissist. - (QUIETLY) Iris. 434 00:16:28,045 --> 00:16:30,260 You've erased me. What am I supposed to do? 435 00:16:30,295 --> 00:16:32,594 What am I supposed to eat? Where am I supposed to sleep? 436 00:16:32,629 --> 00:16:34,677 I'm as mad as a fucking bear. 437 00:16:34,712 --> 00:16:36,760 Call security. There's a bald hobo threatening me. 438 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,468 - IRIS: I just did. - Wow. They shaved Samson. 439 00:16:39,503 --> 00:16:41,176 I have more hair than him. 440 00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,343 Oh my god! What has happened to you? 441 00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:44,677 Did security do this to you? 442 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:45,926 - I quit. - I fired him. 443 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,218 So, you don't have to teach me how to bloody fly! 444 00:16:48,253 --> 00:16:49,635 - Why would he quit? - I fired him. 445 00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,885 - Why would you fire him? - Well, technically, he quit. 446 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,010 - You can't fly? - MIKE: You're British? 447 00:16:54,045 --> 00:16:56,419 Boom, and the fourth wall shatters. 448 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,051 What else isn't real? 449 00:16:58,086 --> 00:16:59,594 I mean, he's out of his hair and makeup. 450 00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:02,135 He doesn't have his costume on. We're in a reality show. 451 00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:03,926 - (ALL MUTTERING) - MAN: I bet we're not even in space! 452 00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:06,635 Wow, you guys are stupid, even for rich people. 453 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:09,135 Hey, hey. Don't talk to rich people like that. 454 00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:11,093 We could just walk out the airlock, huh? 455 00:17:11,128 --> 00:17:12,885 - Whoa, whoa! No, no, no! - BILLIE: No, no, no, no! 456 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,677 - Come on! Let's get outta here. - No, no, no, no, no! 457 00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:16,343 - You can't walk, okay? - No! No, no, no! No, no. 458 00:17:16,378 --> 00:17:18,051 You can't do that because you'll die. 459 00:17:18,086 --> 00:17:19,552 Okay, you're just saying that to keep us here 460 00:17:19,587 --> 00:17:21,885 - on your ridiculous space show. - What? 461 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,218 Oh, great, the captain's here. 462 00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:26,302 I just found out something freaky about the bridge. 463 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:30,051 Yes, that it is incredibly high tech and sophisticated... 464 00:17:30,086 --> 00:17:32,051 The crew is being prompted. 465 00:17:32,086 --> 00:17:34,218 Someone is telling them what to say. 466 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,760 What? You mean the crew isn't real? 467 00:17:36,795 --> 00:17:38,427 Well, the captain's not even American. 468 00:17:38,462 --> 00:17:39,594 - He's British. - Yeah! 469 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:43,594 Look, we all put on accents when we're in character. 470 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,554 That's what actors do. 471 00:17:45,590 --> 00:17:48,594 Like this, for example, is me just being Sarah. 472 00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:50,795 But this is me being "Sarah." 473 00:17:53,086 --> 00:17:54,427 So, you are an actor? 474 00:17:54,462 --> 00:17:57,135 - Wait. You are? She is? - It sounded the same. 475 00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,510 No, no, it's very subtle. She's doing with her eyes. 476 00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,218 Yeah, I don't want to give the game away. 477 00:18:01,253 --> 00:18:03,510 Okay, so it is a game. Okay, let's go. 478 00:18:03,545 --> 00:18:06,552 No, no, no, no. Please, please, don't listen to her. 479 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,968 She doesn't know anything. She's legally a simpleton. 480 00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:10,468 Billie, distract her. 481 00:18:10,503 --> 00:18:12,051 - Shine a torch at the ceiling or something. - SARAH: Why so rude? 482 00:18:12,086 --> 00:18:14,135 Wait a second, so are you an actor? 483 00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,218 Well, if you're noticing me acting, 484 00:18:16,253 --> 00:18:18,802 then I would say that actually, I'm not doing my job properly. 485 00:18:18,837 --> 00:18:20,385 Everything is fake. 486 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:22,968 Guys, that's why they're making us throw out all of our belongings, okay? 487 00:18:23,003 --> 00:18:25,135 It's some sort of test or competition. 488 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,218 I think she's one of their stooges. 489 00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:28,468 - Oh, really? - JADEN: Yeah. 490 00:18:28,503 --> 00:18:31,844 Would a stooge threaten to sock you in the T-I-T-S? 491 00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:33,135 (CROWD GASPS) 492 00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:34,635 We are still on Earth. 493 00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:36,135 These people are so dumb. 494 00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:38,802 I am just hanging out with pigs and dolphins when we get back. 495 00:18:38,837 --> 00:18:39,802 I get it, I get it. 496 00:18:39,837 --> 00:18:41,968 (SHOUTING) Everyone, we're still on Earth! 497 00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:45,302 No, everyone... Mia, stop! You are being hysterical. 498 00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:46,844 I'm so confused! 499 00:18:46,879 --> 00:18:48,468 Doug, you can suck on this! 500 00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:51,010 Our son! He's still waiting for us! 501 00:18:51,045 --> 00:18:53,594 - We can go home now! - We're already home! 502 00:18:53,629 --> 00:18:55,760 We can just walk out of the airlock! 503 00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:57,844 Get out of the way, ya fake fuck! 504 00:18:57,879 --> 00:19:00,010 - I'm getting off this ship! - (ALL SHOUTING) 505 00:19:00,045 --> 00:19:01,594 Any of you... No! 506 00:19:01,629 --> 00:19:03,545 (CROWD CLAMORING) 507 00:19:05,086 --> 00:19:06,170 (KAREN YELPS) 508 00:19:10,462 --> 00:19:12,218 Com tell me how this works! Make it work! 509 00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:14,635 Okay, I got it! You go get your boy. 510 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,176 (YELLING) I cannot believe you are making me 511 00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:19,010 save your simple little lives! 512 00:19:19,045 --> 00:19:21,677 There is real space out there, and it's real cold. 513 00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:23,844 You go out there, you will freeze, 514 00:19:23,879 --> 00:19:26,176 - and you will die. - No, that is not true! 515 00:19:26,211 --> 00:19:28,427 Are you just gonna stand there? Do something! 516 00:19:28,462 --> 00:19:31,618 Oh, I see. So, just as these halfwits 517 00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:34,093 are dribbling down into quarterwits, I'm back. 518 00:19:34,128 --> 00:19:37,093 Oh, that's great. So, I get my room and I get food? 519 00:19:37,128 --> 00:19:38,920 Wh... Why do you have the captain's wig? 520 00:19:40,587 --> 00:19:42,105 'Cause I fancy him a bit. 521 00:19:43,045 --> 00:19:47,545 Oh. Is that... Is that character Sarah or you Sarah? 522 00:19:48,111 --> 00:19:49,823 Honestly, I don't know. 523 00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:52,802 Go! Go save my fucking ship. Please. 524 00:19:52,837 --> 00:19:55,719 I don't know why you think you're right and I am wrong. 525 00:19:55,754 --> 00:19:58,260 - Because I work in VFX. - BARBARA: That stands for visual effects. 526 00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:00,468 - MIKE: Visual effects. - I know what it fucking stands for! 527 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,510 - MIA: Ah! - What do you mean, "Ah"? 528 00:20:02,545 --> 00:20:04,385 Okay, okay, okay! Listen! 529 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,010 Listen, listen! 530 00:20:06,545 --> 00:20:08,552 I have also been out there, 531 00:20:08,587 --> 00:20:12,385 and let me tell you, it is real and it is horrible. 532 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,844 - It's real? - Yes. 533 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,760 - Like your hair is real? - (CROWD LAUGHS) 534 00:20:15,795 --> 00:20:18,427 MIKE: Fake captain, fake wig! 535 00:20:18,462 --> 00:20:20,302 Well, you know what? His beard is a different color 536 00:20:20,337 --> 00:20:21,926 than his hair. Maybe it's a wig! 537 00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,968 Ow! Iris! Iris! Iris! My hair hurts! 538 00:20:24,003 --> 00:20:25,926 - Why is she hurting my hair? - Get your grubby hands... 539 00:20:25,961 --> 00:20:27,677 I can't even touch his hair! 540 00:20:27,712 --> 00:20:29,260 They're your people. They're idiots. 541 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,677 Speak idiot to them! 542 00:20:30,712 --> 00:20:33,176 Okay, listen, listen, everybody. 543 00:20:33,211 --> 00:20:35,385 You do not want to go out there. 544 00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,010 - Because if you do... - See?! 545 00:20:37,045 --> 00:20:39,594 - JADEN: Shit! - Signs fall off the wall. 546 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:41,302 - It's like a set! - It's fake! 547 00:20:41,337 --> 00:20:44,760 W... Wait. No, no, it's not fake. It's just cheap. Cost effective. 548 00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:47,343 We are in a simulation! 549 00:20:47,378 --> 00:20:50,844 Oh, don't be as stupid as your face! 550 00:20:50,879 --> 00:20:52,552 BARBARA: Hey! He can't help his face! 551 00:20:52,587 --> 00:20:54,010 RYAN: Well, I mean... 552 00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:56,302 - MATT: I believe you! - (CROWD FALLS SILENT) 553 00:20:56,337 --> 00:20:57,635 We're in a simulation. 554 00:20:57,670 --> 00:20:59,719 No. Matt, Matt, this is not the time. 555 00:20:59,754 --> 00:21:04,302 But it is the universe that is the simulation, not the ship. 556 00:21:04,337 --> 00:21:05,635 WOMAN: Universe? 557 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:08,968 The smallest subatomic particles we can see look like pixels. 558 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:10,726 This is all a game. 559 00:21:10,961 --> 00:21:12,343 But it feels real, 560 00:21:12,378 --> 00:21:13,827 and if you go out there, 561 00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,837 you will die within the simulation. 562 00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:20,844 - Okay, that... That actually is pretty good. - BILLIE: Yeah. 563 00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:24,010 And the fact that you left your son in a coma back on Earth 564 00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:25,635 does not make you a bad person. 565 00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:27,585 But look, I mean, if you wanna go out... 566 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,127 you can go out. 567 00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:31,260 The code is five-three-three-five. 568 00:21:31,295 --> 00:21:32,968 - You can do it. - (CROWD CLAMORS) 569 00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:35,926 - RYAN: No, no, ah-ah-ah... - I mean, free will, right? 570 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,760 But I think... (CHUCKLES) ...in your heart, 571 00:21:38,795 --> 00:21:41,545 you're 99 percent sure that that's wrong. 572 00:21:42,879 --> 00:21:44,070 MIA: I'm gonna do it. 573 00:21:44,879 --> 00:21:47,552 Something has felt fucked up on this ship from the start. 574 00:21:47,587 --> 00:21:49,051 Mia! No! 575 00:21:49,086 --> 00:21:50,926 - No, don't, don't, don't! - Wait, what? 576 00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:52,427 Yeah, I... I'm just, I'm just sayin'. 577 00:21:52,462 --> 00:21:53,626 Just don't go! 578 00:21:53,961 --> 00:21:56,135 I will... I will donate my golf clubs. 579 00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:57,260 - What? - Yes. 580 00:21:57,295 --> 00:21:58,844 To jettison, okay? 581 00:21:58,879 --> 00:21:59,932 Can you guys? 582 00:21:59,968 --> 00:22:01,218 - There's a sig... This needs to hit... Here. - (METAL CLANGS) 583 00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:02,885 - Uh-oh. - DOUG: Sir, you're in the way. Actually, 584 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,176 stay exactly where you are... 585 00:22:04,211 --> 00:22:06,385 - MIKE: (SCREAMS) Jared! Daddy's coming! - (ALL GASPING) 586 00:22:06,420 --> 00:22:09,086 - (MIKE WAILING) - (CROWD CLAMORING) 587 00:22:13,211 --> 00:22:14,337 No! No! 588 00:22:15,545 --> 00:22:16,712 Mike, no! 589 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,385 No, no, no! 590 00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:21,211 MIKE: Jared! I'm coming, son! 591 00:22:21,795 --> 00:22:22,885 (CRACKLING) 592 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,712 (ALL GROAN) 593 00:22:25,128 --> 00:22:26,712 (INAUDIBLE) 594 00:22:35,211 --> 00:22:36,295 BARBARA: (QUIETLY) Mike? 595 00:22:38,086 --> 00:22:40,719 (STAMMERS) It's VFX, guys. 596 00:22:40,754 --> 00:22:41,926 Visual effects. 597 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,427 It's a projection. It's not even very good ones. 598 00:22:44,462 --> 00:22:46,218 That guy is gonna be headed to the green room 599 00:22:46,253 --> 00:22:48,510 - any minute now. - Yeah, the green room. 600 00:22:48,545 --> 00:22:50,468 What? No, no... What are you talking about? 601 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,260 JADEN: He's gonna go to the green room. He's fine. 602 00:22:52,295 --> 00:22:53,677 He's a desiccated man! 603 00:22:53,712 --> 00:22:56,719 We just saw a man become desiccated! 604 00:22:56,754 --> 00:22:57,920 MATT: Oh, God. 605 00:23:01,879 --> 00:23:02,844 You saved me, Doug. 606 00:23:02,879 --> 00:23:04,802 I couldn't watch you go in there. 607 00:23:04,837 --> 00:23:06,785 - Thank you. - I want you here with me. 608 00:23:08,045 --> 00:23:10,926 You can't just save my life. You gotta make it about you. 609 00:23:10,961 --> 00:23:12,968 - No... Oh, for fuck's sake. - This is classic. 610 00:23:13,003 --> 00:23:16,385 Oh, Fudd. You're playing me. Aren't you? 611 00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:20,176 Absolutely not. I don't know what the fuck is going on. 612 00:23:20,211 --> 00:23:22,302 I should've known a real trip to Saturn was beyond you, 613 00:23:22,337 --> 00:23:24,594 - ya small-time huckster. - What? No. 614 00:23:24,629 --> 00:23:28,926 (CHUCKLES) See you back home, crying probably, in court. 615 00:23:28,961 --> 00:23:32,844 Harrison, we really are in space. 616 00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:34,010 I think. 617 00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:36,260 You're so cute when you're lying. 618 00:23:36,295 --> 00:23:38,093 - All right. No, no, no, no. - HARRISON: Oh? Oh? 619 00:23:38,128 --> 00:23:39,635 What's your next move? Huh? 620 00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:42,503 That's a good question. Thought I might twat you one? 621 00:23:42,761 --> 00:23:43,743 Go ahead. 622 00:23:44,378 --> 00:23:45,810 I like being hit. 623 00:23:46,045 --> 00:23:48,135 - That's... - Billie, twat the gentleman. 624 00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:50,093 - Me? Right. Yes. Listen. - Will you? Yeah. 625 00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,926 - Mr.... - She's got an E! Okay! 626 00:23:51,961 --> 00:23:54,468 Anybody who wants 1000 new bucks, 627 00:23:54,503 --> 00:23:55,572 help me escape! 628 00:23:55,608 --> 00:23:56,926 (ALL YELLING) 629 00:23:56,961 --> 00:24:00,295 Use your fucking code! Five-three-three-five! 630 00:24:03,462 --> 00:24:05,135 (HARRISON LAUGHS) 631 00:24:05,170 --> 00:24:07,343 BILLIE: No! No... 632 00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:09,176 (MOCKINGLY) Ooh, I'm scared! I'm so scared! 633 00:24:09,211 --> 00:24:13,003 (LAUGHING) Joke's on you, Herman, you big assho... 634 00:24:13,961 --> 00:24:15,635 (INAUDIBLE) 635 00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:18,670 (ALL GROANING) 636 00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,545 If these are effects, they're pretty darn good. 637 00:24:33,754 --> 00:24:35,844 Okay. Anyone else 638 00:24:35,879 --> 00:24:37,802 - think it's a game show? - SARAH: Sarah. 639 00:24:37,837 --> 00:24:40,170 - No, no, no, no, no! - (CLAMORING) 640 00:24:49,128 --> 00:24:51,968 - DEVON: Yeah! - TERI: Take me, Jesus! 641 00:24:52,003 --> 00:24:53,968 MAN: Eat my asshole! 642 00:24:54,003 --> 00:24:55,587 Actually, I've changed my... 643 00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:07,051 (CROWD GROANS) 644 00:25:07,086 --> 00:25:08,885 Now, why would they do that as an effect? 645 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,086 I have no idea that that's what would even happen. 646 00:25:15,003 --> 00:25:16,802 Well, you laughing gnome. 647 00:25:16,837 --> 00:25:19,343 You still think it's visual fucking effects? 648 00:25:19,378 --> 00:25:22,385 I... Well, the F doesn't stand for "fucking," 649 00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:25,218 and I will admit that I'm on the fence. 650 00:25:25,253 --> 00:25:27,093 - Oh, you're on the fence? - JADEN: I'm on the fence. 651 00:25:27,128 --> 00:25:28,719 Uh-huh. They're not on the fence. 652 00:25:28,754 --> 00:25:30,920 You put them on the fence, and they disintegrate. 653 00:25:32,045 --> 00:25:33,754 - Uh... - MATT: Holy shit. 654 00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:36,951 Is it my fault? 655 00:25:37,086 --> 00:25:39,176 Well, you know, it's not not your fault. 656 00:25:39,211 --> 00:25:40,552 I was trying to help, and... 657 00:25:40,587 --> 00:25:42,635 Your arguments were confusing. 658 00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:44,385 Everything's a simulation? 659 00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:46,343 And... and a one percent chance they could get home? 660 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:48,128 Where did you get the one percent? 661 00:25:49,545 --> 00:25:51,093 I was trying to be nuanced. 662 00:25:51,128 --> 00:25:55,135 Nuanced? Well, I think you just nuanced them to death. 663 00:25:55,170 --> 00:25:58,760 Uh, yes. That is exactly what happened here today. 664 00:25:58,795 --> 00:26:01,760 Uh, Matthew nuanced seven people to death. 665 00:26:01,795 --> 00:26:03,260 There's plenty of blame to go around. 666 00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:05,176 We are all gonna get a slice. 667 00:26:05,211 --> 00:26:06,795 Oh shit... 668 00:26:07,879 --> 00:26:09,560 Message from Earth. 669 00:26:09,795 --> 00:26:12,926 Their son just woke up from his coma. 670 00:26:12,961 --> 00:26:14,635 He wants to know where his parents are. 671 00:26:14,670 --> 00:26:16,968 - MAN: Oh, god. - That's not good. 672 00:26:17,003 --> 00:26:18,295 I'm gonna... I'm gonna go. 673 00:26:20,211 --> 00:26:22,795 Matt, can I leave that one with you? 674 00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:38,119 Hello! Hi. 675 00:26:38,545 --> 00:26:42,010 I don't wanna have to fight you for a place home. 676 00:26:42,045 --> 00:26:43,093 - Rav, Rav, Rav. - But I... 677 00:26:43,128 --> 00:26:44,719 Okay, look, I'm the pilot. 678 00:26:44,754 --> 00:26:46,677 I'm going home, whatever happens. 679 00:26:46,712 --> 00:26:49,719 The passenger is either you or Mr. Judd 680 00:26:49,754 --> 00:26:50,926 or both of you 681 00:26:50,961 --> 00:26:53,670 if one of you has eaten the other. 682 00:26:54,170 --> 00:26:55,170 Okay? 683 00:26:55,795 --> 00:26:56,837 Okay. 684 00:26:59,170 --> 00:27:01,163 I mean, it might not be so bad. 685 00:27:01,629 --> 00:27:04,468 No press. Illuminated turd shows. 686 00:27:04,503 --> 00:27:08,635 Buffets. Cruise life. (SING-SONGS) Cruisin'! 687 00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:10,378 (CHUCKLES) I can do this, right? 688 00:27:11,003 --> 00:27:12,302 (RAV GASPS) 689 00:27:12,337 --> 00:27:14,093 - RAV: Get me home! Get me home right now! - Damn it! I can't! 690 00:27:14,128 --> 00:27:15,677 - It's automated! - RAV: Do something! 691 00:27:15,712 --> 00:27:17,760 - Let go of my arm! Let go of my arm! - I'm afraid! I'm very scared! 692 00:27:17,795 --> 00:27:20,712 - I can't... Help! Oh shit! - (SCREAMS) 693 00:27:22,003 --> 00:27:23,712 ♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 694 00:28:24,665 --> 00:28:26,420 RYAN CLARK: I got a message from Matt. 695 00:28:26,795 --> 00:28:29,302 "I have changed the codes to the airlock. 696 00:28:29,337 --> 00:28:31,218 No more deaths, no more tragedies." 697 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:32,552 That's good. That's smart. 698 00:28:32,587 --> 00:28:34,968 How are we supposed to jettison all this stuff now? 699 00:28:35,003 --> 00:28:36,594 What Matt wrote is dumb. 700 00:28:36,629 --> 00:28:37,968 - ♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ - (TICKING) 701 00:28:38,003 --> 00:28:39,552 - We are gonna find him. - Have you seen the tall weirdo? 702 00:28:39,587 --> 00:28:41,468 We're gonna get the code, and we're gonna kill him. 703 00:28:41,503 --> 00:28:43,760 BILLIE: If we can't jettison the stuff in the next hour, 704 00:28:43,795 --> 00:28:46,503 we're in this for the long three and a half years. 705 00:28:46,961 --> 00:28:49,260 HERMAN JUDD: I already lost seven good souls. 706 00:28:49,295 --> 00:28:51,051 - I'm not gonna lose an eighth. - Eleven. 707 00:28:51,086 --> 00:28:53,260 - What? - You've lost 11 good souls in total. 708 00:28:53,295 --> 00:28:54,629 That's a lot. 709 00:28:55,253 --> 00:28:56,253 That's a lot. 710 00:28:58,086 --> 00:28:59,420 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 54410

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