Original subtitles

Okay, so we're here at the airport.

The reason why we're here,

Haley called me a few days ago and said she's pregnant.

And she said that I am the father.

I don't know how she knows.

I did do the math, and she said she was seven months pregnant, and we did hang

out with her around seven months ago.

So that's not looking good, but she said she's pregnant. She said that That's

that's my baby So she said she's flying into the airport today and she

wants to see us she wants me to pick her up and That's why I'm here.

I just I fucking can't believe it. I mean, it's a mind someone's pregnant

That means I'm gonna be a dad so we'll see hopefully this is hopefully she was

just fucking around it's a big joke, but It's a sick joke, it is.

Okay.

You guys ready for this?

This is fucking the true shit. This is real.

I might be a daddy, guys.

You ready?

Let's go get her.

Alright.

Where is she?

Is this girl pregnant?

Got it.

Oh, goodness gracious.

I mean, I don't know how to feel.

Am I going to be a dad?

Oh, there she is.

She's playing.

She's playing. Look at her belly.

Cheers. Come on.

Oh, my God. Look at you.

Oh, my God.

And are you sure this is mine? Mm-hmm.

Are you sure? I'm positive.

Can I see?

Yes. Can I see?

Is it a boy or a girl? A girl.

A girl?

Yeah. You want to have a little girl? Yeah.

Oh, my God. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? How was your flight?

Horrible. Are you kidding?

Oh, my. It was horrible?

What? Horrible.

Because you're pregnant. Yeah, because I'm pregnant. Yeah. And I was in the

middle seat, too, so I was like... Oh, you should have got two seats. Are you

kidding me?

Look at this. Look at how fucking sexy this is.

It's fat.

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

I try to suck in all the time. That's my little girl in there.

Are you kidding me?

Here, you don't have to care about that. Are you kidding me?

Here. All right. I got what I want. Here, you grab the bags. Let's go.

Are you sure that's mine?

Are you sure that that is mine before we get into any of this drama?

Yes, I am positive.

Oh, my God. He looks so fucking hot. Look at this titty.

Did the boots get bigger? They got a size bigger, yeah.

It's not a problem, but our dilemma is that Kelly doesn't know. I didn't tell

her. Because I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't know.

You know, your phone call was a little, like, you downplayed it a little bit. I

didn't know if it was just some sick joke you were playing on me or, you

know, what have you. But, yeah, I didn't tell her.

And you're sure it's mine? I mean, this isn't... Should we swing by the doctor's

office? No.

No, I came and hung out with you guys seven months ago, and I'm seven months

pregnant, and I didn't have a boyfriend then, so put two and two together,

you're the daddy.

Okay, so our only little dilemma is that telling Kelly.

I'm not saying that's even going to be a problem. She's probably going to be

excited.

Hello.

Here you go.

We just have to, like, break it to her gently.

You know, we have to, like, I got a little plan.

She's going to be, how much? Three dollars. Three dollars?

She's coming home late tonight.

So she's going to be tired, so we probably shouldn't tell her today.

So what I do is I set you up in a hotel room. You stay there, and I'll come pick

you up in the morning time.

And, you know...

We'll go get coffee, we'll get breakfast, we'll come over, you know,

we'll doll you all up. I mean, I even have like, we can get our hair and

makeup artists coming over and we'll like, you know, just get you going

perfect.

I'll be all dressed up nice and snazzy and we'll go and we'll present this

whole, we'll present this life-altering... Oh my

God, what is going on here?

Thank you.

You're the best. Have a good day.

Okay, so I got you a hotel.

I'll drop you off right now.

And tomorrow we'll come pick you up. And like I said, we'll get breakfast for

her. You know, coffee, Starbucks, whatever.

And we'll go and we'll break the news that way. We're like, you know, I mean,

I'm talking, dude, we should like, I think that I can, my drive here is to

make her lust overpower her anger.

okay so we're gonna have to you know get those titties out you know put you in

some nice clothes and lingerie and we'll like like babe you know i mean how can

you be mad at uh you know sexy little sexy big titty girl with our baby

you feeling me yep okay so that's what we're gonna do so right now i'm gonna

take you back to the hotel and uh hopefully this will work

Here we are.

Come on in.

Nice in here.

Guys, there should be a tub.

Oh, there it is. Yeah. We got you a tub just because we thought that you would

need it.

I do.

A plane ride would be pretty horrible.

It would be nice to take a hot bath.

Are you good? Do you need anything?

Do you want me to get you any food?

Want me to start the bath for you? Yeah, I just want to take a bath. You want to

take a bath? Okay. All right.

Let's see. How does this work? I'll start it for you.

All right. I'm going to go get dressed.

Or undressed. Okay.

And there you go.

Thank you.

Oh my god, this is her, huh?

Have you named her yet?

No, not yet.

No? No.

Oh my

god,

look at this. I can't believe it.

I'm gonna be a daddy now.

It's so big.

That's the best part about you being pregnant right here.

My boobs are bigger.

I want to get you pregnant again.

It's so good.

Come here.

Come on.

Come here. Let's get that.

Let's get the tub.

Oh my God.

Is it okay? Temperature okay?

It's nice and warm.

How's the water?

I got bigger.

Bye.

Oh my God.

You know, if you have my kid, that means these boobs are all

mine for the rest of my life.

The rest of your life, there's some more life.

I get these boobs.

You can help him.

Feels so good.

Look at you.

I just want to fucking eat him.

I just want to eat you.

I swear that I can just do this all day.

I'll have to get a nanny.

So they can watch her little girl so they can play with her boobs.

Can I get some of my jeans on?

I do have my jeans on.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Mmm.

Oh my God, Charlie, here you go.

I'm scared.

I might not be able to help it though.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, my fucking God.

Oh.

They're so heavy.

You know how the last time I carried you?

Yeah.

Put your legs out.

Fuck you.

Thank you.

Squeeze them together.

Squeeze them together.

Oh fuck.

Oh

fuck.

Give me all that worm cum.

Thank you.

Here's the plan.

Come here.

Come here.

Oh, fuck.

Come here.

Okay.

The plan is... Tomorrow...