Original subtitles

Joshua,

what on earth is the meaning of this? This place looks like a pigsty.

Stepmom, I thought you were going on vacation and you weren't going to be

home for a couple days.

Oh, I'm sorry I'm back early. I left for some relaxation.

I've come back, it's even worse.

What has been happening in here?

I don't know. We had some bad weather while you were gone. I think it was like

a tornado or something.

Oh, a tornado just through the living room?

Yeah. Yep.

Well, it looks like a tornado's hit it.

Or like an earthquake. I don't know.

Yeah, well, this is absolutely out of order, young man.

I don't know what to tell you.

Oh, my... And this? You had girls here?

No. Oh, so you and your buddies are just having a nice little condom party in the

front room.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, I guess I'll start cleaning it up.

Happy vacation, Mum, hey?

Okay, I...

I had a party. Like, I don't know what you want me to tell you. Oh, now the

truth comes out. Well, at least you can be honest about it.

This is... Oh my goodness, I can't even believe you.

I can't help it.

Oh, you can't help it?

No, I can't help it.

You can't help it. Oh, right.

junk food are you seriously that mad at me mom junk food everything i do for a

good mom creating a nice safe clean home nice nutritious food

and i come back and it's a pigsty and there's junk food and condoms oh my

goodness you don't like it it's a nice kind of decoration but honestly i would

have rather come back to a clean house like i left it why do i even bother huh

You're too old to be acting like this. I'm sorry, Mom.

I didn't mean anything by it.

I don't know. I thought

I taught you better than that, Joshua.

You're not a failure.

Well, I don't know. I really thought more of you than this. You're a great

mom. Thank you, baby, but...

Days like today, coming home to this.

Oh,

you know I've been to death.

Trying to keep this house nice, trying to raise you up to be an upstanding

member of society. And look at this, this is just, oh, what?

Oh, just you and your buddies playing around, huh? Yeah, we were playing

slingshot.

Well, this isn't my bar, and this is not my colour, so... Um...

What?

i'm trying to piss you off my goodness

i don't even know how to they even know how to make you learn this

kind of nonsense well i'll make it up to

you yes you certainly shall well well

this is a bit better

It's a bit better. I'm going to go take a shower and you, young man, you're

grounded until further notice.

You hear?

Yeah. Okay.

What are you working on, Mum?

I'm just going to make something for dinner. I thought we'd have cottage pie.

Cottage pie?

That sounds good. I love when you make cottage pie.

What seasonings are you picking out?

I thought I'd do an Italian kind of seasoning.

Italian? mm-hmm yeah yeah that sounds good yeah i thought that would be nice

so we can have like nice tomato base with it yeah how is it going with the

garage you cleaning the garage uh yeah i'm getting a little bit done i mean i

don't really have anything better to do have you finished it yet um i'm just

about there okay good because while you're grounded at home i want you to be

making use of your time

Yeah, so I've cleaned the garage so far.

And I'm just about done. I have to take some of the trash out.

Okay, that sounds like you're doing a good job. So have you learned your

lesson?

Yeah, totally.

I mean, no more parties at the house.

Yeah, no more parties at the house. It seems like you're definitely coming to

terms with the terms of your punishment right now.

i mean it sucks but there's nothing better i can do well at least we get

some time at home together i guess yeah i get to spend more time with you which

we really haven't been doing much of yeah well i think that you're definitely

learning your lesson i'm very proud of you for that no more parties and yeah

just help out around the house you know right and no more condoms on the couch

no more condoms on the couch i'm sorry mom i didn't think it was gonna get that

crazy

Hmm, that's okay. I know what you can be like.

I know what it's like to be young.

Um, so what else are you going to work on?

So we just have some dinner and then, yeah, I've not really got much. I've got

a good book I wanted to read later and then pickleball on the weekend.

Um, do you need help at all with dinner?

Oh, I could do, baby, yeah. If you would like to help me, I'm just going to get

the vegetables ready and then we can make the cottage pie.

You're gonna get the vegetables ready? Mm-hmm. We need to clean the vegetables

first. Make sure everything's nice and clean and fresh, fresh produce.

Right. Mm-hmm.

And then, yeah, need to boil the potatoes.

I'll put some water on in just a second to boil the potatoes up.

This was your grandma's favorite.

When I was younger, I liked it as well. The cottage pie was?

Cottage pie. Yeah? Yeah.

Have we had that before?

No cottage pie?

um yeah no you've definitely had it before have i so uh

what uh ingredients all go into it

right

and then how much of that goes into that right

um so how much of

how much goes into the oven like for how long

once it's finished

then just like an hour 40 minutes something like that gotcha

And then how many different ingredients are there in it?

There's many different ingredients.

What other recipes are you thinking about making this week?

Well, if you enjoy making this one with me, we could always make a peach cobbler

on the weekend.

Peach cobbler?

Mm-hmm.

Dessert like that sounds pretty good.

Yeah,

I know you have a sweet tooth.

Yeah, that I do.

I've had so much popcorn this week.

That is not nutritious, Joshua.

I'm excited for this dinner tonight.

And peach toddler this weekend sounds pretty good.

Is there any other...

dinner recipes you would say that's pretty easy to make maybe i could start

learning i would love to teach you yeah we can make use of this time at home

together we could even make your favorite like homemade pizza yeah um

what are your go-to recipes to make mom

i'd say definitely like you

noodles

Right.

Yeah.

It was very healthy and it was very fast.

So how long do we have to preheat the oven for?

It will be finished by the time we finish with the potatoes and everything

then the oven will be ready.

Gotcha. So we have to do the potatoes first?

And what are the exact steps to making this?

Use all the seasoning with the meat.

And layer it all up.

and then it goes into the oven for an hour and 45 minutes 40 minutes to an

hour oh not an hour it'll be burnt to a crisp joshua well i don't want to burn

down the house no you'll be grounded even longer yeah why would you be

grounded too i wouldn't have anywhere to be grounded the house would be burned

down you need to think things through before you do things like that

Do you have any dinner plans for tomorrow?

Maybe something like a salad.

What's your favorite salad dressing? Maybe I could teach you to make that.

Caesar?

How would you make Caesar dressing?

It's an emulsification.

It depends if you want to use anchovies or not.

Probably not anchovies.

Yeah, I know you like it nice and creamy, so we can make like that just

with the parmesan.

Okay.

That makes things a lot easier.

yeah i don't know i probably wouldn't try a different type of salad mom

probably caesar's my go-to or maybe like a zesty italian type of thing that

would be nice that would go nice with salmon i'm

definitely trying to make you eat some healthier foods and brain food

so you can Get your ass back to college or something like this.

Salmon would be good for you for that.

So salmon will make me smarter?

Mm-hmm.

That makes sense.

So before we start dinner, what should we do first?

I already told you you have to wash the vegetables.

Oh, should we wash the vegetables then?

Mm-hmm. Yes, it's about time.

Okay.

Yeah, food hiding is very important.

Yeah? Yeah.

I can't believe that we... Honestly, it's probably good you're grounded so I

have time to teach you this kind of thing.

You like being at home with mommy?

I love being at home with you.

Well, now you're learning a lesson. It seems like being grounded is probably

one of the best things that could happen this week. Oh, yeah.

And have nice home-cooked meals, teach you some good things about hygiene.

And I get to spend more time at home with you.

Yeah. Yeah, it's working out just fine.

Mm-hmm. Mm.

So we have to wash the bananas, and what other fruits and vegetables do we have

to wash for?

Tomatoes. Oh, I completely forgot the celery.

Oh.

Joshua, would you be a darling and run out to the store, go grab me some

celery? Yeah, yeah, I can do that.

Okay, you're such a good boy. Thank you, baby.

Okay.

Yeah?

Oh, you're up.

We need to talk.

Seriously. About what?

Look what I found when I was taking your trash out.

You were in my room?

Oh, it would be stinking in here if I didn't at least come in, just take some

garbage out, things like that.

And you leave these festering in here?

When did you even... You're grounded. When did you even have time to be

filling condoms like this?

I don't know. It's, like, weird to talk about, Mom.

It's weird to talk about, but it's happening in my home.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.

Oh, sorry. He's sorry. I'm a boy.

I'm a man.

You're grounded.

Yeah? Your needs can go on the back burner while you're grounded. I'm

grounded, so yeah, I stayed at the house. I didn't go anywhere.

Oh, you think that... I can't even believe this.

That's really what I... I have windows.

You're on punishment, mister.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I thought we were getting along better. I thought that you were starting to

learn your lesson a little bit.

I didn't think it would be such a big deal to have condoms.

Wouldn't you rather me be safe?

I'm glad. Honestly, I am proud of you, baby, that you are using condoms and

you're safe. But when you're on punishment, you're meant to be in the

house learning your lesson and instead you're sneaking girls in.

Yeah? Yeah.

I can't help it, Mom. It's my hormones.

They're acting up. They're going crazy.

I must have done such a poor job raising you. I can't even believe it. I thought

I was doing my best, trying to be a good mom, trying to raise a wholesome

environment for you, and here you are sneaking girls in. I just don't even

know what to do. What's the next thing I can do? Am I going to tie you up?

No, but you should blame yourself and my dad because, you know, you guys gave me

the hormones that I have.

My testosterone?

For most people, it's down here.

I'm up here with testosterone, and I can't help it. I can imagine, sweetie,

but honestly, you just need to... You just need to honestly just take a look

at yourself and think, you know, what could you do today to make your mum

proud?

I don't know. I guess not sleeping with girls.

Yeah, that's for a starter.

And I know you have a lot of testosterone, and I know what it's like

to be horny all the time, but I don't think that that's a good reason to

disobey your mother.

Well, I don't know. I'm a guy.

I don't know how to make it... Oh, so you're making excuses now?

No, I'm not, Mum.

Not, sorry, Mum. I'll do better, Mum. And I'm sorry.

Oh, he's sorry. He's gonna do better next time. Okay, that sounds great.

Yeah, I will do better next time, Mum.

You better do.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, I will.

You'll do much better. Well, I don't even know what... For now, you're still

grounded.

And I don't want you thinking that just because I overlook it this time that

you're not going to be held accountable, cleaning up, tidying up, keep it safe,

but just... I don't even know with you, honestly, Joshua.

Well, I know I've been kind of a disappointment to you. I just, I don't

know.

That's saying something.

I mean, at least I'm honest about it, right?

Were you going to tell me if I didn't find the condoms?

Probably.

It's embarrassing to talk about.

I'm not going to be like, yeah, mom, I had sex.

If it's embarrassing, why don't you hide them better and put your own trash out?

I didn't think you were going to go through my room.

Oh, I'm sorry. You know what days of trash are.

Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yeah.

Maybe I was going to save them to reuse them or something.

I really taught you nothing.

I really taught you that little. Oh my goodness.

That is a disaster waiting to happen, Joshua. You know I don't have a job.

So what's wrong with reusing a condom?

How about you use your brain to go get a job instead of using your brain to reuse

condoms? I've never heard such an imbecilic idea in my whole life.

Well, it's still keeping me protected.

If you are ever ungrounded, we need to have a serious talk about the birds and

the bees before you get let out to humanity again. That is just, oh.

Well, I mean, it couldn't be the worst thing if I accidentally broke one.

Well, I'd just have a little mini-me running around.

Oh, so I get to be a grandma?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, fantastic.

And your grandma gets to be a great-grandma?

Yeah. She's only 65. How is she going to be a great-grandma?

Oh, yes, you're right about that.

Yeah, the worst thing that could happen to an unemployed, layabout son, to have

a little mini you running around. Yeah, he'd probably have as much

responsibilities as you as, well, having a toddler running around. It's like

having a big, grown toddler running around.

Well, I mean, at least he'd know how to get a job early.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Teach him some responsibility.

Maybe I couldn't mess it up so much with him, huh?

This all stops here. Honestly, you're gonna have to buck your ideas up, sonny.

Okay,

so what do you think I should do, mom?

Less of that attitude and that tone.

What did I do to deserve this kind of insolence?

Nothing, I'm sorry.

That's more like it. So, what are we gonna do about you? I think Monday

morning... First thing, number one, I want you to keep this place clean and

tidy until then.

On Monday, you're going to go out and you're going to apply for every job on

the block.

Every job on the block?

Mm-hmm.

Somebody's got to employ you.

Mom, I'll apply at the jobs, but please,

anywhere besides Walmart.

At least if you went to Walmart, you might get some starved discount on the

condoms you love so much.

Nothing to say now, hmm?

No, not really. No. Well, it seems like a very good idea. Monday morning, you

apply down at Walmart.

Here's another thing as well.

That garden outside.

You know that the trash goes out Tuesdays and Thursdays. Did you even

know that they take out garden refuse on Wednesdays? They do that?

Yes. I didn't know that was a thing.

Annie down the road.

her son tidied up her whole yard wednesday all of her bushes all of the

leftovers all put out there what's her son's name you've known him since it's

like peewee baseball whatever they call it oh tyler mm-hmm yeah yeah tyler is a

you should do a lot more to be like tyler well it sounds

like tyler's a mama's boy i'm not okay

I am. I am.

I am.

Pinky swear mom.

Wow.

You could learn a lot from that, Tyler.

Yeah, I'm sure I could learn a lot, huh?

And once you've got the yard cleared up, I've got that shed out the back too.

What do you want me to do with the shed?

Do you know what? You could use common sense.

I know common sense isn't common, but you could use some common sense. Maybe

get out there, take out the stuff that you don't need anymore.

Don't go thinking that that shed's going to be somewhere new for you to take

girls and I don't want to go out to the shed and see the shed full of condoms.

I'm not going to put condoms in the shed. That's stupid.

Well, I would have thought condoms lay around your bedroom. Your bedroom's

stupid, but I don't know. Who am I?

I'm just your mother.

Well, the shed's not my bedroom.

Well. I'm not an animal.

You act like an animal? Maybe I should make the shed your bedroom.

Treat you like a pigsty.

That would be horrible, Mum.

I would never really do that to you.

but you just need to think about it okay think about the amount of respect that

you get in this house and think about the amount of respect you give back

i'll put a lot of respect

on it mom

i'll

have so much respect i'll even get it tattooed on me you get respect tattooed

on you Yeah, respect.

Respect your mother.

I think you're learning, you're not chatting back so much,

I think.

I'm just trying to listen.

Yeah, one more week or so on grounded.

You keep on respecting a bit better.

Maybe you'll even be able to come out for a nice little family outing to the

movies or something.

The movies with who?

Your cousins. I was talking to grandma.

Seriously, my cousins?

You're lucky to get out of that house at all, mister.

You know how annoying Abigail gets?

Mm-hmm.

That's your cousin.

Show some cousinly love.

Yeah, well... I don't know about her.

Okay, well, it's some kind of action movie. I know you love all those, like,

super aggressive action movies, so I'm sure you'll like it.

No, I'll barely even be able to hear it with Abigail talking.

She talks more than a llama.

You are silly.

Well, we're going to go.

So if you're good all week, everything I said,

finish your chores.

Then on Saturday you can come, okay?

You'll be allowed out of the house then.

Are you sure Abigail has to go? Can't she just stay at home?

What is it? What kind of problem have you got with Abigail?

I'll make you sit next to Abigail if you're going to be like that. She just

sounds like a rooster every time she talks.

You're so silly. You're such a silly soldier. You always know how to make

your mum laugh.

Do you see what you're saying? Do you know what?

I'll remind Auntie Karen and say, you know, have good cinema etiquette.

mm-hmm well she could uh use better etiquette

what

kind of etiquette in the cinema

yeah yeah learn how not to talk during a movie and sound like a freaking

rooster

Honestly, I think that somebody should have taught her that by now, but look at

the parenting struggles that I'm having. I can't really judge Auntie Karen for

that, can I?

I judge her.

That's fine.

We all have our battles.

You probably sneaked them all in the window.

Those would have got windows for, Mum.

Yeah, that is what the windows are for.

Wow.

I don't know if I'd be proud, but I certainly would think it was a feat if

you could do that.

Mm-hmm.

Well, if you ever come in here and there's three girls, give me a pat on

the back.

If I ever come in here and there's three girls, I don't even know. I think that

would be the day that you will be grounded.

Aren't I grounded already?

You'll be grounded down to the ground. You'll be under the grounded.

Oh, my God.

Mm-hmm.

Well, at least I can live my last day with three girls in my bed.

Three girls and your mother.

No, mom, that's a little it's a little weird not three girls to my mom.

I couldn't do that Well, you better get your own house down when you're under

your own roof, then you can live by your rules I'm not gonna do my mom No, that

would be too weird So anyway, we're thinking the action

movie and we're gonna do the late show

Not the matinee in the afternoon, the late show in the evening. So I'll give

you plenty of time to do your chores beforehand, okay?

Well, as much as you want to mom me, isn't that going to be past my bedtime?

You, less of that lip, mister. I'm sorry.

Honestly.

I thought you were trying to get on my right side. It seems like you're trying

to get on my wrong side right now.

Well, I think I'm on your left side.

You're so silly.

Not on your right or your wrong side.

You're so silly. I can't stay mad at you for long.

Well, I get it from you, Mom. You and your goofy jokes all the time.

Well, I don't even know. You've got to have a little bit of fun in this life,

haven't you?

Mm-hmm. Right.

Yeah.

Honestly, I need to get up here with a vacuum cleaner.

A vacuum cleaner? Why?

I can see dust from here.

Well, about that.

Mm-hmm.

I didn't think I could vacuum it.

The dust? Don't I need a good duster?

Oh my goodness.

We're going to have to have a full lesson on how to clean, I guess.

Well... Mm-hmm.

You obviously think that condoms clean themselves up. What else cleans itself

up? Dust?

Well, I didn't say they clean themselves up. I rinse them in the sink, Mom.

Well, I think that if anything, you need to probably get a nice...

need to get a nice spring clean in here okay get everything polished up in fact

have a good clear up some of this stuff in here i never even see you use like

what like there is games in here i think you haven't even like there's there's

games in here i don't think you've played in years yeah i collect them oh

collectible is it well

I want to see everything that you haven't used in the last six months. I

want to see in boxes.

Honestly, I don't know how I didn't teach you better.

I think you taught me just right, Mom.

Yeah.

Well, maybe.

And I definitely get my sass from you.

Yeah, you get all that sass?

Yeah, from you, Mom.

Yeah.

Well, all that sass you need to watch yourself. I'm going to beat your ass.

You're gonna beat my ass?

Mm-hmm. Less sass, more ass.

That's wild.

I haven't felt the belt in years.

Mm-hmm. Wow.

Yeah, I think there are definitely things you're clearing up in here.

What's this done?

is this dirty socks down here or is it more girls underwear like that party

that time no they're my dirty socks i just forgot how dirty do you think socks

should be um i usually only wear mine for two days oh well

i hope that's all you do is wear them before you had your little condom

escapade i was always finding crunchy socks hmm i wonder how they got crunchy

uh i don't know maybe i dropped some like super glue

Yeah. I actually accidentally put peanuts in my socks.

You do make me laugh.

That's why they're crunchy.

Yeah, well, I know that there was definitely some nut on those socks, but

I don't know. Well, you're better than those days anyway, so I don't even know

what I can complain about. But just, yeah, just keep on going the way you're

going and have a lovely family outing next week.

Okay, what else do we have going on next week?

I've got my pickleball tournament.

Now, I had an idea.

Okay. Only if you're going to keep on being a good boy, keep on improving your

behavior, everything like that, then we can take a family vacation.

To where?

Me and Karen were talking about going to the East Coast, to go to the beaches.

No! No, not with Karen.

Karen,

your cousins, go to the Carolinas.

God, I hate when... We can go camping, get you out of the house. Yeah, and then

I'm going to have to hear Abigail's rooster ask, at seven in the morning.

Yeah, that's the time that roosters get up.

Yeah, and I can only take so much of that.

Yeah, well, I think that the Carolinas would definitely be a good learning

experience for everyone.

You know, Aunt Karen doesn't even go to church, right?

But Abigail acts so stuck up and I don't even get it.

It's called having morals.

Morals? Morals. I thought I taught you some, but obviously not.

Well, you definitely did.

I have them. You have morals?

Yeah, but I'm not sitting there preaching at the ass crack of Dawn like

she is.

In her stupid, annoying voice.

Oh, you have morals, but yeah, you definitely need to back up your ideas.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Buck up your ideas and then maybe... Some kind of mentorship program?

Something like that?

Mentorship program?

Yeah. If you've got such good morals, you should be able to help others.

Um... So what? You want me to go, like, preach gospel or something?

No, just like... Like, you could... Like, if you go camping, then you could

maybe take some... I am not joining Boy Scouts, Mom.

But you would be such a good Boy Scout leader.

I don't know about that one. I'd probably eat all the cookies.

Or is that like only a Girl Scouts thing?

If you're a good boy, then I'll make you some cookies, okay?

Okay. If you're a good boy, you can have Mama's on baking day again.

Yeah. See, there's so many good things we can do together. If just you just

fuck up your ideas.

And just, just turn the light a bit more, you know? Stop letting me down.

Stop making it that every day I have something new come in the room and a new

bad surprise.

Oh, look what Joshua's done today. If it wasn't like that, we could have so much

fun together.

What do I do that's so bad?

Well, other than the parties and the condoms and the girls and the trash. Oh,

I don't know.

You think without all of that, you think that maybe our relationship might be a

bit more harmonious?

Well, I think so.

At least I throw a good party.

Honestly, I think there is a lot to be said for the fact that you are

definitely the son of your father and I. So you probably do have the, like you

say, the high testosterone, the high party kind of party. What, so you use

party all the time?

You don't even know what I used to get up to, son.

I don't think I want to know.

You probably don't, but I'm just saying.

You have definitely got the party in you.

You've definitely got the testosterone in you. But just learn to dial it back a

bit and then maybe one day you can be a reputable member of society, you know?

That's what I... Well, you don't think I am?

Darling, you haven't even got a job.

Well, I'm working on it.

You know, you're working on it on Monday, that's for sure. You'll be

working really hard.

Hmm.

What is this down here?

Oh, dear.

I think you need to probably flip your mattress.

Flip my mattress?

Yeah, you're meant to flip the mattress every six months if you don't flip your

mattress. Is that actually a thing, Mom?

I taught you this. You've helped me flip my mattress in the past. You thought

that it was just me that flips mattresses. You didn't think you had to

do it to yourself as well.

Well, I didn't realize that's why you did it. I didn't think it was like a

have-to-do thing.

It's not a have-to-do thing. It's just good practice, having some good...

um what's the word good discipline good discipline keeping your house good uh

-huh all that kind of stuff yeah so yeah oh i can't believe you didn't even know

it's very simple you just literally flip the mattress over joshua every six

months everything every six months as if that's such a hardship it's not terrible

but you know

Well, I think honestly that there's worse things you could do than just have

a little bit more of a... What's the word?

More of a schedule around the house, you know? More of a schedule?

Yeah, Mondays, make sure that you're doing things for your job. Tuesday, put

the trash out.

Wednesday, make sure the gardening refuse is out.

Thursday, make sure that any other recycling trash has gone out.

So having good discipline.

Well, first of all, I'm going to need to get a caliper.

uh you haven't you haven't got a calendar i don't have a calendar i

bought you a calendar you did i put your kind of i i put your calendar for your

birthday every year well i don't know where i put them no wonder no wonder

you're so disorganized you haven't even been using the calendars i got you uh

nope well honestly i think that yeah first of all first things first

calendar i need a to-do list a to-do list

jobs different tasks we've got to do we've got different chores and then

maybe you could even have some goals one day goals life goals what you want to

achieve with your life what do you want to achieve with your life joshua um

right now you're just laying around sneaking girls in probably masturbating

all these different things you're doing not cleaning your baseboards

Well, I'm trying to think of what my goal is.

Hmm. Well. I definitely don't want to be a doctor.

No, you don't want to be a doctor. Well, considering that you were thinking that

you'd reuse condoms, I don't think that anyone wants you to be a doctor,

honestly.

Well.

Um.

Let me think.

Hmm. What could I really do with my life?

Hmm.

I mean, what do you think I would be good at? Giving people some guidance,

you know? I could be like an orgasm donor.

Honestly, I'm so glad that you make me laugh because otherwise I think you'd

make me cry. An orgasm donor, who even thought of it?

Orgasm donor.

I don't know, maybe something like that. Maybe you could donate sperm instead of

just putting it inside condoms.

Well, then I'd be donating to myself by giving myself orgasms.

But I want to be the one who donates them.

Oh, you want to donate?

Well, I don't know. Definitely for the less fortunate, but I don't know if the

girls you've been seeking in here really qualify to have your nice charitable

orgasm donation.

Well, I definitely donate them a lot of them.

At least you're doing something with your life, I guess.

Well... What can I say, Mom?

There is so much dust.

There's socks.

There's socks?

I hope it's socks. Like I said, it's either socks or it's probably underwear.

I don't even know.

It's underwear?

I don't even know what it is. There's definitely lots of fabric down there and

it's catching dust.

Dust is congregating down there. You've never had a vacuum cleaner up here in

your life.

I don't even know. Maybe you don't even deserve to go to the cinema.

Yes, I do.

We'll see. See how this week goes.

Well, I think this week's gonna go pretty good, Mom.

Mm-hmm.

Well, we'll see.

Keep on showing some good promise and we'll see.

Well, I will show some good promise, Mom.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we'll definitely see that.

And stop moaning about your cousin. Your cousin is actually a very, very

lovely... She's got a job.

This Abigail that you say is always crying, she's got a job.

But I think she's had the same job for years.

Well, that sounds like an Abigail thing.

Yeah, she was... I know she did her work experience there when she was in school.

And then, huh.

Yeah, I think that she got promoted to actually having a job there.

Yeah. And then Karen said... What's her position?

Her position? I think she's a supervisor now, actually.

Abigail is?

Yeah, she's a supervisor. Oh, I would hate to be under her.

Yeah, something like that.

Well, anyway, I think that she definitely is doing well in her chosen

field. So maybe you should, you know, use some angling afterwards, Abigail,

and try and, you know, try and compete with her, maybe. Try and see if you

could be the more successful cousin instead of... She's the last person

I want to compete with.

Mm-hmm.

Well... She's way too competitive. She would probably try to fight me.

Mm-hmm.

That's how serious she takes things. She hasn't got a mean bone in her body. Oh,

yes, she does, Mom.

Oh, well, I've never seen that from her.

Never? Mm-mm.

Never, ever.

I think maybe you're just jealous. Maybe you're jealous of Abigail. That's why

you keep on making all these comments about her.

I am not jealous of Abigail.

Why would I want to be her? She has periods.

I don't. I don't have to deal with that.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you just have to deal with leaving condoms everywhere.

Yeah. I'd rather deal with a boner in the morning than a period and then

having to buy tamps all the time.

Yeah, I don't imagine what you'd do if you had to have tampons around. They'd

probably be everywhere too.

Yeah, you probably should bless your boy because boys don't have as much

responsibility.

Well,

I like not having a bunch of responsibilities.

I'm sure you do.

Yes.

Well, I'm gonna make sure that you at least show up for the responsibilities

you do have.

Starting with this room, a job, and making sure that you do some more chores

in the garden.

So what, just don't leave condoms all around my room?

Don't leave condoms around... That is... That is a no-brainer. Of course no

condoms around the room.

I won't do that anymore, Mom.

Good. Don't do it anymore. Don't do it any less.

Just don't be leaving condoms. Don't be sneaking clothes in. That's just a

given. That's what you were grounded for, so obviously not that. And then

actually bucking your ideas up. Having some structure in your life. Doing

something good.

Yeah? Yes. Like what?

I've given you lots of ideas. Why don't you try and impress me now? Try and

impress me. See what you're going to do.

Um... Well...

I can tell you better what I won't do.

Okay. What won't you do?

Be an astronaut.

You do make me giggle.

You look such a funny son.

Yeah, I don't look like Neil Armstrong.

Well,

you're not going to be an astronaut.

That's A.

What else are you not going to do?

Well,

I wouldn't be a stripper.

That's a very good career. I think with how troublesome you find it to keep your

clothes on, maybe being a stripper would be good for you.

Um... Yeah, probably not, Mom.

Regular work?

Regular work.

Yeah, you'd have all those lovely girls you love around you so much, you could

try and give them some of your orgasm donations.

Yeah.

Hmm. Let's keep that on the list.

Let's keep that on the list.

Or take it off of there.

I don't know. Honestly, by this point, I just want you to do something with your

life. Joshua, it's getting to the point where I don't even know.

You don't know?

I don't know what to do.

I keep you grounded, you sneak girls in.

I try and get you to have a job, and you say, oh, I won't do this job, I won't do

that job.

Really, you think you're too good to be a stripper?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Not that I'm too good not to be one, but I feel like that's a girl's job.

Well, you wouldn't be in the girl strip club. You'd be doing the bachelorette

parties and stuff.

Well, I ain't no magic-like mom.

Well, you can do anything you believe if you put your mind to it, baby.

I believe in you, okay?

You believe in me? I believe in you.

Well, I'm glad you support me.

I'm your precious little soldier. Of course, you can do whatever you want.

I support you. I help you wherever you want to put your mind to.

You promise?

Of course.

You will always support me?

That's what this whole thing is about. I want you to be the best version of you

you can be.

That's why I have to be with Richard sometimes.

Well, I'm glad you support me.

Yes, of course. I'm going to be here to help you achieve your good potential. I

know that you've got it in you. You're a good boy, really.

Even though you yell at me all the time?

I only yell at you when you don't live up to your potential. It's because I

care, baby.

you care about me of course i care about you i don't know sometimes i just get a

little upset you know mom i know but just know that whatever i do i do it

because i care baby okay i don't know i feel like a disappointment oh you know

you can talk to me maybe yeah just just buck your ideas up i know we've been

having lots of chats about how you're going to do better but i really think

that if you do but your ideas up you can do anything you want with your life baby

okay anything

anything you want with your life and I know that we have had some rough goings

recently but mummy's here for you okay okay don't feel like a disappointment

just use that use that disappointment in yourself as a fire to get up and and

really make a go of things in life okay yeah yeah mummy believes in you sugar

Are you sure about that, mom? I am. Honestly, I really believe that if we

just keep on down this route, obviously you're still grounded.

You don't get off grounded just because you say you're disappointed with

yourself. But I think this is definitely, this is like a firm bedrock

from which we can build a better future for you.

You really think I can have a better future?

I do, sugar pie, definitely.

You know, you helped me with that meal the other day. Wasn't it nice to cook

something from scratch with your mama?

Yeah. it was nice to go and pick you up that recipe i that you forgot

yeah i know and then by the time we made the whole meal and sat down to eat it

together didn't you feel like you'd accomplish something um yeah i mean it

did taste better knowing that i kind of like helped cook it yes exactly so i

really believe that if you just just do productive things with your mama and

just you'll feel better and then you'll feel more productive and you'll you'll

just yeah everything will just keep on getting better and better maybe one day

you can even have your own place my own place i know maybe that's maybe

we should definitely walk before we run but i do think that definitely you have

got you know you just need to buck your ideas up and grow up that doesn't even

sound like a run mom that sounds like a full sprint you're so silly well we just

have to start at the beginning we start where we are a day at a time and we'll

see how it goes okay right yeah just remember your mommy's here for you

always okay you promise i promise baby mommy's little soldier

Yeah, I just wouldn't be able to do it without you, Mom. You don't need to.

That's what Mommy's here for.

Mommy's a little soldier, okay?

Okay. Mm-hmm.

I mean, I trust you and I believe you.

Mm-hmm.

Good. When have I ever let you down, huh?

Never. No. And if I'm strict with you, it's just because I care.

I know, Mom. I just... Mm-hmm.

You know, I think about it.

Mm-hmm.

Well, definitely, yeah. I just don't let it get you down. And I know that, you

know... the darkest time is just before dawn is it really that's what they say

sugar pie the darkest time is just before dawn so when you think it's hard

just go a little bit further and you'll come through and i'll come through

you'll come through and live up to your full potential just like mommy knows you

can well what do you think my potential is mom what could you see me doing

um i definitely think stripper would be a good role um you said you don't want

to be a doctor um you're not so good at books so probably not lawyer um

i think we should definitely start with the supermarket the stripper and the

supermarket i already said you're gonna go to monday and apply just you need to

be a bit more humble baby okay okay yeah don't worry mommy's got you

You're gonna do just good you start with the supermarket maybe see about

stripping on the weekends and then stripping on the weekend Yeah, that's

insane mom. I think that really you should just probably just apply yourself

and And see what else?

See what else is out there for you, you know?

Yeah,

the more you can achieve then you know the sky's the limit for you

You really think the sky's the limit for me?

One day you might even have your own place.

Maybe one day I'll be coming over to your house and you'll be cooking me

shepherd's pie.

You really think I'd be cooking you shepherd's pie? Mm-hmm. You think I

could cook?

I think you can do whatever you set your mind to, honey.

Mm-hmm.

You just have to get through this little hard patch.

Right. And apply yourself.

At least the ceiling's clean. Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe get up there, get some dust off the fan, but it's looking quite good up

there.

Yeah, it does.

Yeah.

Let's get behind those blinds.

The blinds too?

Yeah. Just like a little sprinkling, like a deep clean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That would be a good idea.

I'm surprised these plants are still alive. I think maybe they're plastic

plants. I don't think you'd keep anything alive that long.

No.

You can't even take the trash out. I bet you can water a plant on a regular

basis.

They look good.

making a mess again well well what can i say

well i just want to say next time you manage to sneak girls in if you can try

clean up a bit better so we don't have to have this ongoing feud about keeping

everything clean that would be great yeah okay you can do that

good boy