Original subtitles

Hey, honey.

Hi, honey. You won't believe what happened at work today.

Oh, yeah? What was it?

Well, me and the guys, we found out that our boss was giving us a little

celebration because our company hit $95 million in sales.

Oh, my goodness. So he's going to give us a pizza party.

Pizza? Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm glad that that happened, but, um...

Can you tell me your story fast? Because I really have a headache.

So the boys and I decided to sneak into the company building using these

dinosaur costumes.

And they didn't know what was coming up.

So after that, our boss had no idea what was coming to him.

We snuck 15 pounds of fireworks under his desk.

Oh my gosh.

And yeah, we knew that.

Again, I'm just trying to take a shower. I have a bit of a headache, so make this

conversation fast. We spent hours coming up with the plan.

Really? Yeah, we kind of just spent like half of our break time in the back of

the office just skiing through it.

Oh, okay.

And also, it was the boss's birthday.

His birthday?

Yeah, we decided to get a cake.

You don't leave it to them?

No, we put it under his desk without him looking.

And then what happened?

You made a mess, didn't you?

Oh, yeah.

A big mess.

Did it take forever for you to clean it up? We didn't clean it. You weren't even

there that day, remember?

Well, well.

I feel like the conversation is... Our boss was walking around the office today

having no idea it was us.

Oh, well, again, I'm sure y'all were a mess.

This conversation is quite a mess too, but, you know, I like to keep you happy.

Goodness, honey, you know I'm trying to do the dishes.

Such a mess.

You always leave such a mess.

You're lucky that I'm such a good wife.

You know, now that I think about it, our boss doesn't really pay attention to

anything we do around the office.

Kind of like me and you?

Oh, not really.

He has a blind eye towards everything. We kind of get away with a little too

much. Oh, I believe that in me.

I'm almost done with these dishes, but... What else is on my agenda for

today? Again, my head hurts and I really want to take a shower.

Well, I think the boys and I just tried talking about going bowling tonight.

You know, and we might come by the house later, you know, and just watch some TV.

The game's going to be on.

I mean, as long as you don't make a mess.

I just spent all day cleaning up, so...

Oh, we ordered an extra few pizzas this time. I hope that doesn't bother.

Should be fine. Don't worry about it, baby.

Oh, goodness.

You're such a mess.

When are you going to learn how to clean up after yourself?

Oh, and I'm probably coming to work late tomorrow, too.

The boys and I have some more plans for the boss.

Oh. What plans? How late are you going to be there?

Don't worry about it. You know what? He's making all that money and giving us

jack shit.

So we're going to show him who's the real workers.

Yeah, well, I was just hoping that maybe I could get some stuff done tomorrow.

Maybe, you know, take that hot bath.

Oh, yeah, and there's no snacks in the kitchen cabinets. Could you get some

before the boys and I come over? Yeah, I will.

I'll make my way to the grocery store.

Do you know what time they're going to be here?

Maybe seven?

Hmm, around that time.

Okay.

I'll try and have snacks.

I'll get everything cleaned up for you.

Just got soap all over the place, babe.

Oh yeah, honey, you remember to get more snacks for the kitchen cabinets, right?

Before my boys get here.

Yes, I will take care of that, honey.

What time are they going to be here again?

Like 7 or so.

We're out pretty late.

Okay, well, I'll get snacks.

I think you said you were ordering some pizzas and stuff also?

Oh, yeah.

I'm getting my can of them.

Alright, well, I'll get y'all some extra snacks and drinks.

And I'll have the house cleaned up by the time you get home.

And y'all can have a blast.

And I'm going to take a nap.

Oh, you remember that guy Steve, right? From the office?

Oh, he had such the weirdest laugh.

Wait, I forgot I was supposed to call Steve. We have a meeting.

Wait here. I'll be back in a jiffy. I saved the best for last. You gotta know

what the boss told us after.

Alright? Okay.

Guess my bath will have to wait.

Hey, honey.

Damn, you're still watching this show?

Yeah, it's so good.

Do you remember this?

Nah, not really.

What's this even about again?

It's Dr.

Smith. He's in love with that other doctor.

Do you know who I'm talking about?

Doctor, doctor, I'm not sure. It's a big secret, but if anyone finds out, then

the whole hospital is going to be in trouble.

You mean the hospital that goes bankrupt?

Why would you say that? I wasn't sure what season you were on or anything. I'm

only on season six. Why are you ruining it like that for me? Don't worry, it

doesn't happen until season 14, so you're fine.

Oh, thank you. That makes it much better. I really appreciate that.

At least you know what's coming, right? Ugh, I'm so annoyed with you right now.

Wait, aren't those two supposed to be together?

No, he's cheating with the other person. That's why no one knows.

It's a secret.

Okay.

Spiculous. I know.

Super shady.

I thought he died the last episode. Stop saying this. Keep your mouth closed. If

you're gonna keep spoiling shit, just keep your mouth closed. Oh, come on. I

thought you didn't know what show this was.

What? I mean, you were playing it like 24-7. How could I miss it?

This guy is in the same bed for like the past five episodes.

That's where we like him, is in the bed.

He's hot.

That's why he's having an affair. That's why he has a whole nother mistress on

the side.

I thought this was supposed to be about hospitals and, you know, saving people.

It is. What's all this love drama?

It's... I mean, you have to have love to save people.

I mean...

Oh, but wait, look.

Oh, it's so good.

What?

Can you believe he's doing that?

Why didn't he just, you know, talk to him first?

Why does he have to do it behind their backs?

Ah, they gotta be sneaky.

They have to be sneaky.

Guys. I mean, they have that secret room.

There's all of that jazz in the hospital.

They can just sneak around and do whatever they want.

I know, it's crazy.

I just can't keep up with this show. It's all this whole thing over and over

again. What are they even trying to do?

Says the guy who's already watched like 14 seasons.

Yeah, I mean, it leaves you on those cliffhangers. I'm not going to lie. I

mean, you only remember the cliffhangers and then you spoil them for me.

Constantly. It's the only good parts. What do you mean? That's what I'm

waiting for. And you just keep spoiling it for me.

Alright.

Oh, wow.

Did you see that? Did you see that?

I mean, I guess so.

That was crazy.

Whoa.

Whoa. I told you.

He must have the gall.

What? So disrespectful.

Jeez. I know. The audacity in some of these people. I know, right?

I can't. Actually, this episode's actually getting a little good.

I told you.

I think this might be the best episode.

Did you skip this one?

I don't know. You know, I kind of easily get distracted.

It's true.

No way. I know!

What?

It's crazy.

How is he going to pull all this off?

I have no freaking clue. Don't they have cameras in these hospitals or something?

I mean, you would think so.

I can't believe you're missing it. I cannot believe that he just did that.

Oh, trust me. I'm not missing it. I'm not missing a single thing. She

literally just... Not in... Oh, my gosh.

With his wife?

Things are really getting spicy here. I just don't understand what in the hell

they are doing.

What in the world? This show's crazy.

Can you please stop watching it without me?

Please?

You gotta tell me what's going on. I have to keep up with the plot.

Okay, so... Yeah, so that hot one, I can't remember which one he is, but,

you know, he's, like, really hot. And so that one doctor is always hooking up

with him on the side. She knows his wife.

What? No way. Yeah, so shady.

It's literally the shadiest thing ever. I think that's why it's so good.

I...

Yeah, you just never know where people are at, too. I know.

That's why I watch this show. You never really know what's going to happen next.

Holy cow.

That hot doctor is now hooking up with the other girl's sister.

What? No way.

It's crazy.

It's literally crazy.

I mean, they're twins, though. Can you really blame him?

Can you tell them apart?

That's the problem.

I wonder if he knows that he's cheating. What if he doesn't even know he's

cheating?

He doesn't!

He thinks it's her!

That's crazy.

That is crazy.

Oh my god.

You're really missing out.

I mean... I'm glad I have you to explain me the plot, right? Yeah, I have to keep

you posted, I guess.

Huh.

I don't know what he's doing right now, but...

I think they're in surgery.

Hmm.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my goodness. He's gonna save the day.

He's literally gonna save this woman's life. What? I have to watch this. No.

No way.

No.

Watch.

I mean, look at how... I wouldn't say how.

What?

They're actually doing it in front of him in the room.

This show is actually getting really good.

What?

Wow, I can't believe this guy is so gullible.

What? I know.

Is everyone just manipulating him like this? Mm-hmm.

Jeez.

How can he be so gullible?

Wanna know?

Wow, every single opportunity that this guy has completely misses.

Jeez.

Reminds me of someone else.

What?

You know what? There's no way he's going to stay at this hospital.

They're going to fire him.

Easy. Easily they're going to fire him. Next episode.

Calling it.

Calling it. Oh, yeah.

I bet you're so invested in this show, you know exactly what's going to happen

next. I do.

Until you spoil the rest of it for me.

And tell me, what's going on?

They're just all talking to each other in the room. And nobody seems to know

the slightest bit of truth is. I think they're all just lying to each other.

They're not even acknowledging?

No.

Not at all. But I think they all are looking at each other knowing that

they're lying to the same person.

That's crazy.

Has anyone figured out that the twins?

Not at all.

I bet the twins are in it on each other.

You can't get away on how hot that guy is, huh?

I really can't.

So they're sharing him?

I guess so.

I think they're using that dumb surgeon to just manipulate their whole way out

of it.

That makes sense.

What?

Not only that, they're stealing from the surgeon. Mm-mm.

Yeah.

They just can't stop arguing.

Well, of course. This hospital is going to fall apart way too quick.

With all the doctors in there fucking instead of doing surgery. Right?

Oh, my pizza rolls are ready.

Here, let me know what happened at the end of the episode.

I guess I'm never gonna get to take a bath or a nap.

I just wanted a quiet evening.

Honey, I can't sleep.

Remember back in the day we used to talk all night?

Babe, I'm just trying to read this last chapter.

Oh, come on.

Don't you remember?

We would just stay up and chat, chat, chat.

Yes, I remember.

Well, tell me about the book you're reading.

Well, in the book, it's about dreams. And you know if you dream that you're

flying? Then that means you're, like, in control and everything's going well.

Really? Yeah.

I remember I had a dream not too long ago, and all of my teeth just fell out.

Why? I don't know. I ate some toothpaste and it just kind of tasted weird.

You have new toothpaste, so your teeth fell out in your dream.

Yep. Just all fell out. You don't have weird dreams like that?

I mean, I guess sometimes, but not necessarily. Not like that, where my

teeth are falling out.

Why? Well, what kind of dreams do you have?

I mean, I guess I've had some dreams about building things.

I think it's more about, like, building a new business or starting a new

project. Well, what other dreams have you been having?

Um, lately I've just been sleeping really deep, so I can't even remember

unless I wake up and think about it immediately afterwards.

Same. That kind of happens with everybody. I easily forget my dreams if

I, like... Don't focus on it. I know, you literally, the second you wake up,

you have to think about it. Yeah.

It just disappears.

And a lot of the times, it's just so much to process, because so many things

could happen.

Exactly, especially when they all have a meaning behind them. It's crazy.

Well, what kind of meanings do you find in your dreams?

I guess that I'm going in the right direction.

You know, like, life is good. I'm in the positive.

It's like one, two, three. You know, it's like we're in order. We're in sync.

I feel that.

Well, what kind of bizarre things do you see? Because I don't know.

I just always feel like weird things are happening to my body in my dreams. You

know, like my arms become like rubber.

Really? Or then my legs just get so fragile and then I just break. I think

just...

I'm not really focusing on how my body reacts to things too much. I think my

dreams are trying to tell me something like that. Maybe you need to take better

care of yourself and stop having so much pizza with your boys.

And then maybe you won't dream about crazy things where your body doesn't

feel good. I'm so glad I have someone like you, honey.

I try to keep you on point, baby.

Just like you always do.

I guess you are right. I need to focus more on what I eat. You do.

I'll start making healthier dinner. Don't worry. We'll fix this.

Okay.

And do we need to switch your other toothpaste back?

Oh, no, of course not. That was just a crazy dream. Okay, okay.

Yeah. We don't need to be dreaming that you're losing your teeth anymore.

Of course not. That's not ever a good sign.

So my book says...

That, like I said, I think I told you. If you're flying, then you have

everything under control and you're feeling like a superhero.

You know? Have you had any of those?

Not recently that I can remember.

Maybe a lot when I was young.

Oh, like when we first met?

Oh, yeah.

Especially back in those days of college.

Oh, the college days. The good old days.

Yeah, remember when we would sneak out of our dorm rooms?

How could I forget?

I think that one time we didn't sneak out. I think we actually locked

ourselves out.

Those were such great times. It really was.

It really was. The good old college days.

So yeah, we locked ourselves out that time.

How did we get back in? Do you remember?

Oh, remember? We just had to sleep in our car.

Oh, that's right. Waited until the schools opened again and snuck our way

right back through. Oh my God, you are so right. I can't. It's as if we were

never gone.

I know.

No one ever noticed.

I mean, I guess that's how the dorms are, though. People just go in and out

and no one ever knows.

Exactly. They never knew what was happening. Never.

We were so good at that. We were very sneaky.

Oh, yeah.

I just loved how rebellious we were together.

I know. The good old days. College.

College was the best.

Again, sneaking out. Getting locked out.

Whatever it is. Making out in the freaking library.

Under the bleachers. There's crazy stuff. Oh my gosh. Crazy stuff that

happens at college. All the parties.

You remember we used to go to so many parties?

The parties were so insane.

I mean, I really wasn't like a big drinker, but... But you always threw the

best parties, remember?

You were the best host. Thanks, babe. I try really, really hard to make sure

everyone has a good time. I also try to clean up really nice afterwards.

Oh, you're always great at that.

Yeah, I try to be a good wife.

Trust me, all the boys are so jealous that we ended up together.

Really? You're the perfect wife.

Aw, that's so sweet, honey.

I mean, it has been a long day, so I really wish that I could

have read my book, but I think... I'm glad you're telling me about it. I'm

learning so much about dreams, and it's so nice to just reminisce with you all

the things we went through together.

We did have some good times. We really did.

We really did.

I mean... But then work.

Now you gotta work. You leave me at home all day by myself.

Oh, baby.

Chili cheese fries?

Come on. Hey, those pizza rolls too, you gotta admit, they were delicious.

I mean, they were pretty good, but I mean, we are grown now. I don't think

that we should be eating chili cheese fries.

It's really weird having all those weird ass dreams.

Well, remember, college made us so broke that we are living off of those

practically.

It's true.

Those and those little noodles, you just add water and put it in the microwave

and there you go.

Remember how easy it was?

So easy.

Now you have to cut up all your ingredients, wash them, you know, do all

of these extra things. It's so much work.

That's why I leave that all to you.

Yeah.

I'm really good at those kind of wifely duties, you know?

Oh, you for sure are, honey.

I really enjoy doing the dishes and keeping things clean.

Today was a busy day, though. There was lots.

I vacuumed.

I did everything around the house. I know. I noticed. You did such a great

job, honey. I tried.

I tried.

Dishes are done.

Oh, my gosh. I even preset for dinner tomorrow.

Really? Yeah. I have it all ready to go. No way. Yes. I just have to throw it in

the oven. It's going to be...

So good.

I just love how on top of you are in things, honey. I really try. You do such

a great job. Do I, babe? Of course.

Does it remind you again back in college? I always took really good care

of you. It really does.

Yeah. You know, I wouldn't have passed any of my classes if it weren't for you.

I know, right?

I always did all of your freaking homework.

All of it. It's just, you know, you aren't the most book smart, but that's

okay.

I wouldn't have done it without you, honey. I know, I know. Now I have this

great office job that gives us all this. I know. And all thanks to you.

All the monies. I love it. Exactly.

You don't have to be a genius to make a fortune.

Exactly. Right? You're speaking truth.

I know.

Because you made a fortune, and you're not a genius.

Thanks to you, though. You taught me so much. I mean, I'm like your personal

assistant. Really?

Yeah. I'm a good personal assistant, don't you think?

You're an amazing assistant.

Good. I'll keep reading, and I'll do more research, and I'll teach you more

stuff, so that way when you go to work, you can do more than just laugh at your

boss for making a mess. I do get carried away sometimes.

I know.

You're so silly.

What are the memories that you really enjoy about college?

You remember that time we went to the park and we just had the best picnic

ever? Yeah.

It was super romantic. You made the best pastries that day.

Thanks, babe. Of course. I wasn't lying.

Remember, I ate the whole thing. Of course not. I thought you were just

trying to impress me. Oh, no.

You really enjoyed my pastries. Oh, of course, honey. You make the best ones.

Which is your favorite?

Ooh. My croissants? Oh, yeah.

Probably those apple strudels. Oh, a good apple. Those are my favorite.

I love making that one. It always makes me think of summer.

Brings me back to again when we met.

I know. We don't really do those picnics anymore so often. We've been so busy.

Maybe we should do that again. Yeah. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Maybe next weekend.

Sounds good to me.

Yeah, you have your boys coming over this weekend. Yeah.

You're going to have fun, and I'm going to have a lot of cleaning to do.

So, unless y'all can clean up after yourselves.

I'll let them know. We can definitely do that for you.

Yeah, right.

It's alright. I'll handle it. Don't worry.

Don't worry about it at all.

You know I like being a good wifey. Oh, you're the best wife for me.

Do you have to work tomorrow?

Nah,

I called it off.

It's a holiday tomorrow, remember?

Wait, what holiday is it?

I don't know. They're celebrating something with flowers.

Who knows?

Valentine's Day?

No, it's July.

It better not be Valentine's Day. I'm going to look at my calendar.

That's hearts, remember, darling?

You better not fuck up.

Of course not.

Flowers, hearts, chocolates, I need it all. I don't care if it's July or not,

honestly. You know what?

You do deserve that.

I think so, too.

That reminds me, you were really obsessed with chocolate when we met.

I was really obsessed with chocolate. I still kind of am obsessed with

chocolate. I know.

I mean, I like chocolate bars more than I like chocolate cake, you know. But

chocolate cake was kind of my thing back in the day. Yeah,

you always gave out that chocolate energy.

Chocolate energy.

I mean, it's so easy to cook with.

You can make candies with it. You can make cake with it. Hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate is everything.

It is everything.

It really, really is.

What

other

books have you been reading then?

I mean, I've been working on this other one, but it's more of like a tidy home.

where it just lets me it gives me tricks on how you know what i learned if i fold

my clothes and i put them on the side instead of flat down in the drawers you

can fit so much more clothing in there and you can see exactly what's in there

so you know how you always have to dig to the very bottom yeah to find your

very favorite sleep pants what you always have to dig to the bottom of the

drawer

did you notice i laid them all sideways now and you can see exactly which pair

of pants you're trying to grab wow yeah and i'm not out of my book so there's

that also did you know that if you hang all of your clothes

for the year on hangers that are backwards then throughout the year as

you wear your clothes the hanger goes proper at the end of the year

you look and you see which ones haven't been turned around.

And that's how you know that you never wore those clothes.

So it's time to get rid of them. Wow, honey, you're so informative. I know, I

try. You really need to keep track of that. I really, really try.

Again, a tidy home just really makes me happy.

And again, being able to see what all is in my drawers is the best.

You're actually right. I've never really thought about those things.

It's the little things that count.

Make life a little bit easier.

We need to start reading some more of those books.

I could do that.

I really enjoy the ones that they actually have on TV.

You know, like documentary style.

That's the best.

I learn better when I see things and hear them rather than just learning.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. Documentaries can be so informative. I

learn so much from them.

That's true. They're my favorite.

I mean, you know I like to read because it helps my brain relax at night.

But during the day, I just really like to watch those.

While in my doctor show.

That one's the best.

It's getting very interesting.

All the drama.

It's just crazy.

It's crazy.

How much scandal can happen in one episode?

In one little moment.

All the tension just building up. I know.

It's crazy.

And the twins.

He still hasn't figured it out.

It's going to be crazy whenever he figures that out.

I think deep down he knows.

You think so?

Yeah.

You can kind of see it in his face.

Do you think the other ones know that the sisters do it? Do you think the

sisters know?

There's no way they do.

Huh.

I can't believe that.

Have you been watching any other new shows lately?

Not really. I do watch that medieval one all the time. Wait. You know, with the

castles and the knights.

Wait, the one with the dragons?

Yeah. Oh.

I think I've only seen a little bit of that one.

Yeah, they have, like, all different kind of, like, mythical races, like the

elves and the dwarves. Oh.

Yeah. I guess I should start watching that, because I don't remember any of

that. Oh, you would love it. Did it just start? No, it's been going on for a

while. Really?

Yep. Okay.

Me and my boys watch it all the time. Okay, I'll try and catch up, and then we

can watch it together.

Sounds good to me.

Okay, perfect.

Then you're not just watching my crazy show in the hospital.

I think you would like it a lot because there's like wizards in that show that

talk a lot about the dreams that you enjoy reading about.

Oh, I do love that kind of stuff.

That's a good idea, babe.

I'm going to do that for sure.

You just let me know when it's on and we'll watch it together.

Oh, of course. I can't even set it to record before I leave for work. Stop.

Not record.

Yeah. Oh my goodness.

Okay. I like that. You leave it on the DVR.

And then I will watch it with you. Sounds good to me. Yeah.

Does it have wizards?

Oh yeah, there's so many. Really? Like I said, they talk a lot about the magic

and dream stuff that you enjoy learning about.

Interesting.

Huh.

Would you watch one of my reality shows with me if I watch that with you? Uh,

yeah, I'll give it a shot. Will you? Of course.

Okay, because I really like those dramas and stuff like that too, but I never

have anyone to watch it with.

Oh, trust me. You're gonna love the drama in this one I watch.

Well, you're still talking about the dragons and I want to watch reality.

I want to watch these crazy bitches get in fights and cry.

Those are pretty entertaining.

Yeah, and they cry because they want to date this guy and the other girl's

dating him.

You know, it's kind of like the hospital show that I watched.

Scandal.

I love a good scandal.

I really need to do the dishes later.

There was a few more things that I didn't clean up.

Don't worry about it, honey.

Can you do it tomorrow?

Of course.

Well, that would be better because I don't have a whole lot of stuff to do

tomorrow.

But, although I do have to clean up for your party, I'll just do it all at the

same time tomorrow.

I didn't get to take my bath tonight anyway, so... Well, you're so good at

multitasking, honey. I know.

I know I'm good at everything, I swear.

Sometimes it's hard being perfect.

What are we doing this weekend?

I'm having all the boys over, remember?

No, no, no, I thought that was on Friday. I mean more like Saturday,

Sunday. Can we go out to dinner?

We could.

Yeah? I want to try that new Italian place.

Oh, you know I love Italian. It's my favorite.

I know, we never really eat pasta.

Do they have breadsticks, though? Of course.

Are they free?

Uh, I'm not sure.

We can maybe beg the waiter, though. I'll just show him my tits.

It's been such a long day, though.

I know.

I'm so glad it's almost the weekend.

Yeah.

What do you plan on doing for this weekend, then?

Well, besides cleaning up all your messes, maybe I'll go spend some of your

money. How about that, babe?

Go for it. Love it.

Getting a bonus in soon. Treat yourself.

Really? Yep.

I love it when you get bonuses.

Can I borrow the credit card?

Of course you can.

You're the best, honey.

I'm trying to think of all the things that I'm going to buy.

Just don't go crazy on those bags.

I know how much you love your bags.

I love bags. Come on. Without shoes.

You have a whole closet just for shoes.

You never have enough shoes.

I have that one gold bag that I need gold shoes to match.

Come on, you have one for every hour of the day. For a whole three weeks.

It's true. It's true.

But I deserve them.

I deserve all of them. I guess you're right, honey.

You really do. I do.

Cleaning, cooking, hosting, reading to you. I mean, I do everything.

You're exactly right. I know.

I know. Sure there's nothing else you would need? Like something for the

house, maybe?

Something for the house? Yeah.

Like we've had that same couch in this house for how long?

I mean, a long time, but I love that couch.

Oh, really?

That was the first couch we got in our first house after college.

Exactly. So isn't it a little worn out?

That's sentimental value, though.

You remember that one time?

On the couch?

I know. Alright then.

You are right. It does have value. No, I was talking about that movie we watched

that one time on the couch.

I know, I know.

Look, how about this? We put the couch somewhere a little less just for us and

we get a brand new big couch for the living room. Okay.

I'm here for that. So we can put it in that room. Yeah. Put it right over

there. Exactly.

Perfect. Love that. No, we don't have to get rid of your favorite couch, I guess.

Please. I love that couch.

I want to keep it. I want to keep it for a while.

Maybe we can pass it down in the family.

You think so? Yeah, I think it'll last forever.

Guess we gotta clean it first, huh? Yeah, we gotta... We should hire someone

to clean it. No, don't worry about it. I'll clean it. Don't worry. I'll clean

it, and then we'll keep it.

I know this lady who has the perfect machine that cleans couches.

It's crazy.

You just...

And it sucks it right up.

Watch. One of the cleaners is probably going to find your old earring in there.

That's probably true.

I lose everything all the time. You know, I just leave it somewhere and then

I come back and look for it and it's not there anymore.

I know.

It's almost like you grew legs and walked off, babe. That's exactly what I

was going to say, babe. Yeah.

It's not my fault.

You have like a little fairy grabbing your stuff and running away with it. It

really do. It really do.

For someone as clean as myself, it's just so odd that I'm always losing

everything.

Probably because I'm running from one room to the next doing all kinds of

stuff. I just set it down.

I missed your call yesterday because I left my room upstairs in the closet.

What? Yes.

It was ridiculous.

That's exactly what I figured.

The other day, I left it in the refrigerator.

What? Sally called. Are you serious?

I was talking to her.

And I was trying to make a sandwich at the same time, and then I guess I just

set it down in the fridge. I'm glad you didn't put it in the microwave.

Oh, can I imagine? That would have been awful. Oy yi. It was really cold,

though, whenever I got out, but I'm so glad that I found it because, you know,

who would have ever looked in the refrigerator?

It's such a random place to put a cell phone.

Ugh, you're not putting random things in the blender, are you?

Not anymore, babe. I know how much you've mixed up for ingredients.

Not anymore.

I haven't done that in years.

Come on now, you're still bringing that up.

You sure you don't need anything else for the kitchen? I might go to the store

later. If they have that fancy cheese that I like, that would be awesome.

You might want to get Parmesan also for your pizza party.

You know, I have a lot to do this week, but I'm excited to get everything done.

You'll have your party this weekend and then next weekend.

What did we say we were going to do next weekend?

I know I made you promise me something.

Either way, I'm going shopping tomorrow with your card while you're with the

boys.

Oh, man.

It's been quite the day.

So, I'm really glad that you make good money, babe, because I really like to

shop.

I really appreciate you, honey.

Oh, I really appreciate you too, honey. Thanks for always being there for me.

Well, you're an idiot, but that's why I love you.

What would I do without you?

Can we go to bed now?

Yeah.

Goodnight,

honey. Goodnight, honey.