Original subtitles

Bye. Bye.

You don't like me?

No. You know I don't like you.

Come on.

Why do you never like me?

No, but we've talked about this.

Why don't you just do it?

Because I don't like it.

Why?

I don't like it.

Come on.

Can you just take me to another place?

Another place?

You don't like me.

You have to try to give me an orgasm.

But you're lying and holding it back. I'm not holding it back.

What do I get out of holding it back?

You know what? I just don't give it at all.

It's every time it has to be like that.

Then you have to destroy yourself in that way.

You can't understand that I just want to have an orgasm in between. You can't

understand that I just want to have an orgasm in between.

You can't afford to lie down there by yourself. I don't need you.

Then it went as usual again.

But this time it ended worse than normal.

Jack got enough.

Jack is my boyfriend for a long time.

I love him.

Really. More than anything else.

But in bed everything is different.

He has never succeeded in giving me an orgasm.

The problem has gone so far that we often become unfriendly after we have

loved.

Is he a bad lover?

Is it him it's wrong with?

Or is it me?

Jack often gets angry and complains about me giving up.

Above all, he complains that I never wanted to be a pig.

But of course I don't want to. It's disgusting to stop that thing in the

mouth.

Oh well.

This time it went so wrong that Jack got enough once and for all.

He made it up and left me.

The next day I visited my best friend Tove to talk it out.

Maybe we could find a solution together. I told

her everything about my problems with getting an orgasm.

When I thought about it, I had actually never gotten an orgasm.

Not even when I had tried to get it.

What could it be?

I don't know. Have you thought about having sex with someone?

I haven't really thought about it.

What would that be?

I could call Johnny.

He could come over. He and I have sex. Then you could have sex.

You mean that?

That's what I'm trying to do.

But I'm calling now.

Okay. Yeah, that sounds a little weird.

But what would I have missed?

Hey, it's me.

Hey, what are you doing?

Okay, because I'm very short and I'd like you to come over.

That's good.

I'll see you later.

Okay, bye.

He's coming tonight.

Okay.

Hi. Hi.

I've been waiting for you. Yeah.

Yes, good enough.

Now I want to suck your dick.

um um

Oh.

We'll move that up.

Of course it was exciting.

It was really exciting even.

But in the end it was only Tove and Johnny who got to enjoy each of their

orgasms.

How happy I am.

I'm on your shower first, so you can do it yourself.

Now it felt as if the otherwise always so positive Tove was giving up.

She didn't have any more ideas.

Instead, she suggested that I look for a psychologist.

It sounded a bit drastic, I think.

But maybe she was right.

My head was full of worried thoughts as I walked home that night.

The next day I went to work as usual.

I work as a secretary at a law firm.

A really good job.

Stimulating and with a good salary.

Even though the money couldn't help me with my... problem.

I found a suitable psychologist who specialized in sexuality and

relationships.

That sounded perfect to me.

Yes, hello?

Is it at Sederfreud?

Yes, hello.

My name is Linda.

Yes, I'm calling because I have some problems with

relationships and would like to know if you had time to... Yes?

Hello.

But what was that?

It was strange.

I always used to eat an apple as a lunch.

But there were no more apples, so I took a banana instead.

And I got a strange, girlish feeling in my body.

Well, I had bigger worries.

I put my teeth together and continued to work.

I tried to think of something else, until I suddenly heard a strange sound.

from Paulson's office in the room next to it.

Paulson, that's my boss.

Oh no, not again.

Paulson's wife had come over for another breakfast quickie.

She had often done that lately.

I didn't want to, but I just couldn't stop looking at them.

Oh, I was so sick that it broke my heart when it happened to my boss and his

wife. And I had a hard time holding my tears back.

I must say that I was actually a little nervous when I went to see Freud.

The psychologist, I mean.

I had never been with someone like that, and it sounded a little scary.

How old were you the first time

you lost your virginity?

I was 17.

17, okay.

How did it feel the first time you had sex?

I felt a little embarrassed when she asked me when I lost my virginity and

how it was the first time.

She asked if I ever had any other sexual problems or difficulties with the

opposite sex.

After we had talked for a while, Sigrid said something very surprising.

Girl sex?

No.

No, I haven't heard of that.

As you can see here, you don't get orgasm.

You don't like sucking dick.

So maybe you should try girl sex.

That could be the solution to your problem.

So you might light more on... Do you think I'm a lesbian?

It can actually be that simple.

Okay. So I think you should try it.

Yes. Yes.

And if that doesn't help you with sex, you'll have to listen to me again.

Yes, thank you.

Lesbian. Me?

I had never thought about it.

Girls. Was it really like that that I actually preferred girls?

Hmm.

It's probably not as stupid as it seems.

But how was it supposed to work?

Should I just go into a bar and look for the first and best girl?

No. I couldn't do that anyway.

It was best to ask Tove for advice.

I told her about the meeting with the psychologist and what she had said.

That I was going to try girl sex.

But I had no idea where and how to meet girls that way.

To my great surprise, Tove said that she would like to get up to have sex.

Everything to help me.

I had done my best to get in the mood.

I had turned on the lights, made it cozy, and tried to suppress all thoughts

about boys.

I thought about girl bodies and how they should feel.

When Tove came over, not many minutes passed before we were in full swing.

We were both just turning on to see how it could feel.

Vi kyssede hinanden lidt forsiktigt, og jeg følte, hvordan det straks gjorde mig

våd i trusserne.

Det var spændende at udforske hendes krop.

Hun følte sig glatt og blød, sammenlignet med en fyr.

It might be better if I take it off.

Tove could like it, and she could like me, and it didn't take long before she

tried to give me an orgasm.

Unlike me, Tove wasn't the least bit shy.

Unfortunately, it seemed like she'd tried it before.

It was exciting and wonderful to be licked by a girl.

Because a girl knows how it feels, so she knows exactly what she has to do.

I knew she was beautiful, but how much we tried, I couldn't get over with.

It just didn't work.

Is that true?

Yes, she was really, really beautiful.

But it still doesn't work, right?

Maybe I should try to help you a little instead.

I had a hard time sleeping that night.

Poor Tove, who loved me so much, but didn't succeed.

And poor me.

Would I ever be happy again?

And the bitter truth was that no girl could compare herself to a stiff limb.

So it was just to prove that I wasn't too lesbian.

The next day I thought I could just as well call Sigbred Freud and tell her

that her thoughts were unreasonable.

So I wasn't lesbian.

It must be something else.

The psychologist then said that it unfortunately could be a medical error

and that I should consult a doctor.

Fortunately, it turned out that Sigbred's husband, Sigge Freud, is a

gynecologist, and she promised to fix a time with him soon.

Well, thank you again.

Yes. Goodbye.

To get rid of the thoughts, I decided to swim around during the breakfast break.

Poulsår's advocacy office is actually a very good workplace.

We have our own swimming pool in the basement for staff.

But when I climbed up from the pool and went out to change clothes, I discovered

that I actually wasn't alone in the swimming pool.

Fred and Nilla, newlyweds and in love with each other, had snuck down for a

little snack.

Bye.

Jeg gav mig ikke til kende, og de mærkede ikke, at jeg var der.

Og jeg kunne ikke lade være med at smug-kigge en stund.

I had been nervous when I went to the psychologist, but it was nothing

compared to when I came to Dr. Sigge Freud, the gynecologist.

Hello. Hi.

Sigge Freud. Linda.

Hi, come in. Thank you.

So, what can you do for me?

Um, yes, well...

I have a problem with not being able to get orgasm.

And then I've been at my wife's house, and she's been texting me to you.

I had never felt so blue before, as when he asked me to take off my clothes, put

me on the chair and spread my legs while he looked and peeped into my shoulder.

He was not uncomfortable, unfortunately, but it felt as if he had rested around

my sub-life for an eternity.

And it turned out that there was an explanation for my condition.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

But... You don't seem to have any clitoris.

What?

Have you seen any clitoris?

There's no clitoris. Yeah, but... There's none.

What? Yeah, but... Yeah, but it can't be real.

What? What?

Hey, come on.

Let's have a drink.

You're the last one out.

You have clitoris close to your throat.

What are you saying?

It's true.

Clitoris in the throat.

I think the other day I ate a banana and it felt weird.

There we go.

But Jesus, what I had always thought was so disgusting.

What if... What if the doctor could cure my pig phobia too?

He protested understandably enough

in the beginning, but he was not easy to convince.

No, I don't want to.

My friend will meet me.

I sucked and sucked, and you know what?

I got what I never got before.

Everything to help the patients.

What do you do when you have a weight loss?

I think I'm gonna run away.

And now I've found glue that's as deep as my throat.

And that's what you want me to believe?

That's true.

See for yourself.

Well, I guess I'll have to do that then.

Well, you're fucking right.

But if she wants a dick, I'll have one too.

Okay, sure.

Finally, I had got the first orgasm of my life.

Imagine that something could be so indescribably beautiful.

Now I knew what I had missed all my life.

I was overjoyed and swayed like on a light-red shadow when I went home.

As soon as I got home, I called Jack, my old boyfriend.

I still loved him, and I couldn't wait to

tell him that I was now fit for fight to the wildest, most orgasmic sex

adventure.

And I finally promised to suck his dick.

Jack came after a few hours, and immediately saved me from everything.

Hi honey.

Hi. I'm glad you came.

As I said on the phone, I think we should try again.

I don't think so.

Listen,

I've been to a psychologist, and I've been to a gynecologist, and I've found a

solution to our problem.

What is it?

The reason I couldn't get an orgasm... You can't... It sounds stupid, but...

Yeah, it's because my clitoris is stuck in my throat.

No. Well, try to hear it right.

I don't want to believe you. I don't want to believe you. I don't want to

believe you.

I don't want to believe you. I don't want to believe you. I don't want to

believe you. I don't want to believe you.

I don't want to believe you. I don't want to believe you. I don't want to

believe you.

I don't want to believe you.

Mums. Og vi nød det lige meget begge to.

Nej, forresten.

Jeg nød det mest.

Hvorfor har du gjort det nu før?

Jeg har jo aldrig visst det skulle være så dejligt.

Mm. Mm.

We chatted for a while, but both Jack and I wanted you to keep on drinking.

We clearly predicted that both of you would have sex.

And when it happened to me, I thought my whole body would explode.

It was as if a earth shell had hit the whole house.

I had never, ever been so happy before.

And what happened later?

Yes, everything got better.

Jack is no longer my boyfriend.

Did he drop me again?

No. On the contrary.

I want to be there now.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait,

wait, wait

Jack had arranged a lot of big chicks I would be allowed to suck.

And guess if I sucked.

Come on, boys.

And got many, many, many orgasms.