Original subtitles

We have the truck, now we have some fun.

Corn on a stick! Get your corn on a s…

Popcorn! Get your fresh popcorn!

Huh? What was that?

The Avengers?

That would be us.

No assembly required.

Ha! You don't stand a chance against the Frightful Four.

Uh, pretty sure there's only three of you.

Uh, let's see. One, two. On...

Just attack them already!

Hey, Trapster. Where do you think you're going with my stuff?

- Knock, knock. - Whoa.

- You're okay. - Whoa. Thanks, Cap.

You wanna give up?

I'm ready to throw down. Are you?

Nah, we're just distracting you.

I'm stuck! What'd you do to me, you annoying robot?

I am not a robot. I am Vision, and you have been phased.

Yeah, that's not a real saying, Vision.

And what are you trying to hit me with?

With glue, bro. That's my thing.

- Really? - Yes, obviously.

Now stop moving, bro. It's making it hard to hit you.

Right. Uh, that's not happening.

Try these on for size.

Uh-oh.

Whoops.

The truck is out of control. Everyone, off.

We got it.

Hold on!

You kinda look delicious right now.

Thor, heads up.

And just when all looked lost, that's when I saved the day.

I used my trusty Mjolnir to smash that giant hat

into a million pieces for all of you to now clean up.

- You are welcome. - Whoa.

We apologize for the mess and inconvenience caused.

- Oh! It's Mr. Vision. - We must be going, Thor.

Oh, okay. Um…

…you know, someday I wish I could be an Avenger too.

Is there, um, like, you know, a way that I could call you

so we could, like, hang out sometime?

Ah, well, actually I just lost my raven and, uh,

need to get a new one.

But when I do, I will totally send it to you.

Farewell!

Wow. The Avengers just talked to me.

Dennis!

Why is that on your head?

No reason, sir.

I keep telling you, Dennis, we're Damage Control.

We're in charge of cleaning up and fixing damage.

We're not supposed to make more of it.

Where's the new guy?

Terry! Come give Dennis a hand.

Yes, absolutely. Of course. Allow me to help.

Dennis, this is Terry, our new intern.

Show him around and stay out of trouble while we handle the cleanup.

You got it, boss.

And be more careful, or at least try to be more careful.

Whew. Thanks for the save, Terry.

So, it's your first day.

I started off as an intern too.

But now I'm a fully-fledged member of Damage Control.

I have the badge to prove it.

So, how long does it take to get a badge?

Usually a year.

Seriously? That's a long time.

Yeah. Took me a bit longer on account of...

Well… …I don't know if you noticed or not,

but I kinda break things a lot.

Now, you see this?

This shouldn't be here.

It's okay. I know where everything goes. I can move it.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, please. No.

Dennis, out of the way.

Hold on. I can fix it.

This will steady it.

Dennis, no, don't.

Hey, what happened?

Ah, gross.

Sorry, everyone.

All righty, everyone. That's a wrap.

See you tomorrow.

You know, it's kind of impressive how you break every single thing you touch.

I don't know. Maybe you're in the wrong line of work.

But I love being at Damage Control.

I-I get to work with the Avengers.

Well, I mean, sort of work after them, but...

It's like the closest I'll ever be to being a superhero.

You are really into the Avengers.

Yeah. How could you not be?

They have these amazing superpowers,

and they use them to help people.

Anyway, you want to get some popcorn? There's this new place.

No, I gotta go look for something, but I'm so glad I met you, man.

See you again soon, Dennis.

You too, Terry.

Two hot chocolates, please.

Whoa. I got it.

- Be careful with that. - Thanks.

Another marvelous day in New York City. I just love living here.

I mean, where else can you see superheroes around every corner?

Iceman, just the way you like it. Hot cocoa with two marshmallows.

Oh, my favorite.

Stay cool, dude. Stay cool.

You never know who you might bump into.

Hey, look where you're going. I'm walking.

Sorry, I didn't see you.

Wow, okay. I can't believe I bumped into the Invisible Woman.

At least I think it was her.

No parking on Thursdays?

Vengeance shall be mine.

As I was saying, I just love living here.

I mean, where else can you take CrossFit with Frank Castle?

Faster, faster! Punish those calories!

Don't you dare.

Hey, Jeff.

Ghost-Spider.

You get your hot dogs here?

Yeah, yeah. Me too, me too.

This place has the best ones. I mean, don't you think?

Okay. See you later.

Wow. She is a great listener.

Was someone talking to me?

Ah, geez. Howard the Duck has jury duty, so he can't make it to the card game.

Another night of solitaire for ol' Gambit.

We'll never find someone else to play.

You need another person for cards?

Ah. Sorry, kid. Our game's for superheroes only.

Wow. Game night with Gambit and the Thing. Can you imagine?

- That has to be the most incredible... - Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Are you talking to the audience?

- She-Hulk. Oh, wow. - It's so nice to meet you.

Talking to the audience is my thing.

Oh, but I thought Deadpool was the one who...

Nope. Mm-mmm. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I did it first, and I sued him for stealing my bit.

Sued him right out of this very special.

Oh, o-okay. Sorry, I won't do it again.

Ugh. Don't feel bad. All right, here.

I've got a couple of these left. These will get you into Avengers Con.

Tomorrow's Avengers Con?

But that's been sold out for months.

I've always wanted to go. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. Calm down. You're welcome.

But seriously, you monologue one more time,

I'm gonna come into your house and rip up all your comics.

Avengers Con. Wow.

I mean, I don't have any powers, but, man, wouldn't it be awesome

if I could somehow be an Avenger?

You could never be a superhero.

You're too clumsy, Dennis.

You break everything you touch. You're nothing but trouble.

Hi, Gloria. How are you this evening?

Fine till you showed up. What kind of superhero would you be?

Demolition Man? Well, Mr. Avenger, for your first mission,

how about you clean up that mess you just made, huh?

Nah.

What about this? No. Hmm?

Hey, this ain't what it looks like.

You gonna eat that? Asking for a friend.

I am Groot!

Dennis,

quit talking to raccoons and weeds.

I am Groot!

My cranky neighbor, Gloria.

Doesn't like me because I'm always making mistakes and breaking things.

You want, I can blast her.

I am Groot. I am Groot.

Nah, she's right. I do break everything.

Bet the Avengers don't have to deal with stuff like this.

They probably only do stuff that's awesome.

I am trying to turn left.

Which way? Your left or my left?

Don't confuse me.

Are you even lifting it?

- Yes. Are you lifting? - Stop yelling at me.

Tomorrow sure is gonna be fun.

Some pretty odd stuff we've accumulated over the years.

Yes. Our fans do enjoy it when we bring these items out of the vault once a year.

I don't even remember this one.

Where'd Thor find this?

Found it wedged in the armpit of a rather grumpy lava troll on Vanaheim.

Oh, no.

Wait. No, that was something else.

Ow! My foot.

Yes.

Gotta get through one more day of work, then right after, it's Avengers Con.

Why are we standing around? Come on, come on.

The sooner we get started, the sooner we...

Oh, no.

I'm gonna have to bill you for the damage. What's your name again?

Moon Knight?

Yes. Moon Knight. That is who I am.

And this is my partner, Devil... Uh, Daredevil.

That's us. Moon Knight and Daredevil.

Yeah. Send us the bill.

Huh. I'd say Daredevil looks bigger in person.

All right. That's lunch. Take 30.

This job's taking forever.

At this rate, I'm gonna have to stay late and miss Avengers Con.

Oh, you're right. We just need bigger tools.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. They don't let me use the big stuff.

Come on, Dennis. With that thing, you could get this place cleaned up

before everyone gets back from lunch.

I'm not so sure.

Let me ask you this.

Do you want to go to Avengers Con or not?

I can do this.

Uh-oh. Careful.

Whew.

No. No, no, no, no.

Boss, using the crane, that was my idea.

No, it's my fault.

Both of you are gonna stay to clean this up.

As long as it takes. All night if you have to.

Now, I'll never get to Avengers Con.

Oh, come on. That's quitter talk.

If we work hard, there's nothing we can't do.

I don't know, Terry.

I know. Now, let's broom.

You know, I was really expecting "let's broom" to be way more motivating.

We're never gonna get this done. Ow. Ow, ow. Ow!

You know, there's still a way to get you to Avengers Con.

Vengeance!

Are you sure about this, Terry?

Absolutely sure about this.

Damage Control HQ has all sorts of high-tech gadgets and gizmos.

I bet there's something here that'd clean that mess up lickety-split.

Yeah, I don't think Mr. Ballinger would like this.

Look, I'd do this myself, but I don't have a Damage Control badge.

If you let me help you, you can still go to Avengers Con

and meet your heroes, man.

But there's no way this is gonna work. I only have a level one badge.

It's not gonna get us in.

Level one janitorial clearance.

Welcome.

Oh.

Forty-four, 45, item 46, item 47. Oh, look.

Here we are. Item 48.

Terry, what is this?

This, my friend, is the Regal Practical Duster.

Discovered by the great Reed Richards somewhere beyond our known universe.

So powerful that it could consume anything.

That's not what you want to use to clean up the mess, is it?

Oh, no. It's way too dangerous, Terry.

Mmm. Exactly.

Oh, no.

- That sounds weird. - What is that?

It says "Galactus"?

Run!

Quick! Come here! Into the lobby!

Hey, man.

Not cool. Not cool.

Okay, class, listen up...

Hey, where you going?

Oh! Oh, no pain, no gain!

- No, no, no, no, no! - I am Groot!

At least it's not another inter-dimensional portal!

Ow! Ugh, stupid fourth wall!

Where is that thing going?

Oh, no.

Oh, I love him. He's my favorite.

Hi, Hulk.

Can I have your autograph?

Can we get a selfie, please? Just one selfie?

Oh, yeah, man!

Thanks, Black Panther.

That is not from around here.

Avengers assemble!

Vision, let's light it up.

Uh-oh.

Thor! I got you.

Oh, thank goodness. Oh, wait. Oh, no!

This can't be happening!

Vision! Mr. Vision!

I've got you. Just hold on.

We'll be okay as long as we don't lose our...

I'm so sorry.

I am an android. I am fine. You saved me.

Well, you saved 16% of me.

This turned out even better than I could have imagined.

And I've got quite the imagination.

Terry!

Well.

On behalf of Damage Control, you can kiss your internship goodbye.

Oh, Dennis.

I've been trying to get my hands on this for a long, long time, man.

The problem was that the Avengers had it. But now with them out of the way,

it's all mine.

Ugh. Not this.

Behold!

The axe that wields the power to reshape the world.

Terry?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, my friend.

With this axe, I am no longer a mere Terry.

I am now known as Terrax!

Wait, are you just adding "ax" to the end of your name?

Terry with an axe?

No, that's ridiculous. I would never be Ter...

Shut up!

The axe is mine, and I, Terrax,

have defeated Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

I've defeated the Invincible Iron Man,

the Mighty Thor,

the Incredible Hulk,

and the unstoppable Tom Brady.

I was on vacation, and this thing just sucked me up.

Oh, now this planet belongs to me,

but I couldn't have done it without my best pal Dennis.

Whoa. Not cool, Dennis. Not cool.

But... But n... I didn't mean...

No. It wasn't my...

Thanks again, Dennis.

And now you'll see a world with no Avengers.

Ha, ha, ha.

Well, well, well.

Look what you did now.

I always knew you'd eventually break everything.

This is all my fault.

The Avengers are captured. There's no one left to save the city.

I'm sorry, Mr. Vision.

I didn't mean to pull your head off. I didn't mean to do any of this.

Hello, Dennis.

Oh, so much to do.

I can build anything I want with this axe.

So first things first.

Just so there's no doubt who rules this world.

Yes, this will do nicely.

Save your strength, big guy.

Yeah, we could be in here for a while.

Go fish.

If Vision's head is out there, he's running on backup battery.

He's not gonna have much time left before his system starts to malfunction.

Wherever his head is, let us hope it is in good hands.

Mr. Vision, are you okay?

Please, just call me Vision.

I'm so sorry for what happened.

The Avengers, Terrax, Galactus, you losing your body.

It's all my fault. All of this is my fault.

Now is not the time for self-pity. There is a way we can free the Avengers.

Oh, thank goodness.

I-I was worried you didn't have a plan to fix this.

If I can retrieve a power booster and be reunited with my body,

I should be strong enough to phase and break through Galactus.

That sounds amazing. Terrific.

How do we do that?

First, you must get me to Avengers Tower.

There will be a power booster there.

Okay, Vision. What's the best way to get to Avengers Tower?

Showing directions to shawarma restaurants near you.

Okay, great, so what-what was it? What?

Apologies.

I am losing power and starting to malfunction

due to being separated from my body.

If I'm not made whole soon, I will cease to function.

Okay. Well, don't worry, Mr. Vision...

Vision. I won't let that happen.

We can do this. I can do this.

No, you can't.

Not a good time, Gloria.

If you do not mind me asking, Dennis,

what are you wearing?

It's my superhero costume. I made it to wear to Avengers Con.

I figured now was a good time for it.

Why is Galactus here?

We had better keep moving.

Vision, what's it like being a superhero?

What do you mean?

I've just always wondered 'cause, you know,

I've always wanted to be an Avenger.

But I don't have any powers.

Or anything I'm good at. So…

This conversation will have to wait.

We are here.

I can't believe I'm standing in the Hall of Armor.

Oh, my gosh, is that the Mark I?

And Thor's cape! Are those trick arrows? Ow!

Nope. Real arrows.

No way. One of Cap's shields.

Please, be careful, Dennis.

- Yeah! - I can do this all...

You're not careful, you could take someone's head off with this thing.

Oh, wow!

Captain America, and Daredevil. Dazzler, Moon Girl, Moon Knight, and Wolverine!

- Bub. - What happened, Vision?

You look, uh, shorter.

At the moment, I'm just a head.

But with your help,

I will both get my body back and free the Avengers.

Look, I speak for all of us.

We only have one question.

- Who is that? - Hi.

Dennis is with me. He works at Damage Control.

Damage Control.

They're the ones who keep sending us bills for damage we didn't do.

Oh, my gosh. That's so weird.

I'm here to help.

My superhero name is D-Man.

Well, we're saved. D-Man is here.

Not the best look. The mask is all right, though.

The mask isn't as important as your name.

You gotta do something about your hero name.

My name? Is it bad?

It ain't good.

Don't forget the song too.

Every hero's gotta use a super cool, heavy metal,

rock-and-roll song for when you're fighting villains!

Today's weather will be cool and breezy with a high of 75.

And three cups garlic and 12 tablespoons butter.

Pardon me.

My battery is fading, and I need a power booster.

Once I am reunited with my body,

it will allow my phasing abilities to break through Galactus.

Done. What's our next move?

Next, we let Terrax capture me.

Uh, I'm sorry, what?

This is such a great plan.

I mean, all we gotta do is get Vision's head sucked up by Galactus

and reconnected with Vision's body?

It seems like it's pretty easy to get Galactus to eat things up.

Man, I cannot wait to see the look on Terrax's face

when he realizes we tricked him.

Oh, Dennis. Anyone ever tell you how loud you talk?

Oh.

So, usually we don't tell the super villain our plan ahead of time.

No, not that it matters.

Not when I have the power to reshape the world.

Well… …there's something you don't see every day.

Watch out, kid.

I got ya!

Oh, no!

Ow. Ow, ow, ow. Ow. My head.

You all right?

No, not really.

I dropped Vision, and I don't know where he is.

Just get yourself somewhere safe. Let us handle this.

Get him, Cap.

Hey! Stop! Ow!

With that, no more Avengers.

Vision? Vision. Can you hear me?

Where are you? Vision!

- Over here, Dennis. - Oh!

I messed it all up again. I'm sorry.

We cannot give up hope. It is not over yet.

It is for me.

I don't wanna pretend anymore.

Gloria's right.

All I do is break everything I touch.

You asked me before what it was like to be a superhero.

Being an Avenger is about being the best version of yourself.

Well, if that's what it is, then I'm not a hero.

Be myself.

Being myself is what caused this whole mess.

But that is not a reason to give up.

What's the point of even trying?

Ow!

All I'm good at doing is breaking stuff.

I'm good at breaking stuff.

What are you doing?

I'm really good at breaking stuff!

Oh, this is kind of gross, but I don't care.

I am Demolition Man!

Oh, great. What's he building now?

Oh, I'm glad you asked.

A monument to the greatest thing ever.

Me.

No, Terry. I'm not gonna let that happen.

You should have stayed out of my way, Dennis.

Only my friends call me Dennis.

You can call me Demolition Man.

Is that the broom guy from Damage Control?

Well, we're toast.

You may be good at building things, Terrax,

but I'm good at demolishing things,

and that's what I'm gonna do because I'm a superhero now.

- I have the costume. - That's debatable.

- I have the name. - Is he serious?

And I even have a super cool, heavy metal, rock-and-roll song.

- Oh, no. - Vision,

play me a super cool, heavy metal, rock-and-roll song.

Don't mess it up, Dennis.

Not now, Gloria!

Now playing "Gloria" by Laura Branigan.

No. Wait, wait, wait! I didn't pick yet.

Heads up, Dennis.

Welcome to the Avengers, kid.

Hope you survive the experience.

Okay, okay. There's Galactus.

We got this, Vision.

We don't got this, we don't got this!

We must stick with the plan.

Get closer to Galactus, and get me inside.

- I'm trying! - Duck!

Vision!

What was I thinking?

I'm gonna fail again.

I've got the name and the costume and the song, but I'm not a hero.

Names and costumes and songs do not matter.

Be yourself.

You are good at making a mess of things.

So be Demolition Man.

I got this.

Dennis!

Huh? Get away from that.

That belongs to me.

Oh, the irony.

Gotta get you inside Galactus.

Almost there.

Now to get you back to your body.

Get ready.

- Seriously? - Ah. Terrible throw.

Oh, no.

It is okay to make mistakes, Dennis, as long as you remember to be yourself.

No!

You fail again, Dennis.

Vision!

You're no superhero.

Maybe, but I know how to break stuff.

No!

Need a hand, Demolition Man?

Vision? You're okay?

We all are. Thanks to you.

By the way, big fan.

Oh, you wanna play? Then let's play!

Avengers assemble!

Let's bring the pain to the train.

Hey, dino. Time to put you on ice.

Hey, Terrax, this belongs to you.

Ow!

Yes!

Yes! You still got it, Tommy. You still got it.

A little help over here?

Pick a card, any card.

Vengeance!

- I am Groot! - What?

You're hungry again?

Who's next? Who's next?

Why is it always me who gets the clowns?

Hold still, will ya? Uh-oh.

Just like Budapest.

It's clobbering t...

You call that a glove?

Try this one on for size!

Have you heard the one about the toad getting struck by lightning?

What? Oh.

We need to break through that shield before he recovers.

Vision! I need a weak spot.

Firing now, Demolition Man.

Care to do the honors?

Huh? Wha... What happened?

You're gonna have to clean this mess up, Terry.

I'll get you a broom.

-- Gosh, they're really here!

Captain America!

Hiya, folks.

Welcome back to Avengers Con.

We've got a special announcement for ya.

Do me a favor, put your hands together

for the newest member of the Avengers.

Yeah! Demolition Man. Yeah, you're the best.

I always believed in him. He's my neighbor, you know.

Welcome to the Avengers, Demolition Man.

Well done, Dennis.

Thank you.

- This is seriously a dream. - I mean… …I just wanna say...

I'm here!

I'm here.

Hang on.

Is this the post credits?

Am I seriously the post-credit scene? Come on!

- Deadpool! - Whoa!

I said you weren't allowed to be in this special!

O-O-Okay. Hold on, Shulkie. Uh, take it easy.

Just...

No, no, no, no, no! Somebody help me!

I wanna stay!

Please let me be in the special!

Irving! Irving Forbush, yes. I see you.

I see your name, Irving. You've gotta help me.

Come on, you're a producer!

He's just an associate producer.

He has no real power.

How dare you say that about Irv? I'm tiny! I'm tiny!

Oh, no. Oh, wait a minute. Is this the Quantum Realm?

Ant-Man, save me.

Oh, thank goodness.

Deadpool doesn't like to be tiny.

- Oh, come on. - Quit fighting!

Let go of my feet! Let go of my feet!

Why are they so small?

How dare you!

They are perfectly normal-sized feet!

Trying to cut me from this special

is a worse outrage than Red Hulk's mustache!

Your deep-cut references can't hurt me.

No! I won't forget this, Irving Forbush!

Whew!

Okay. Roll 'em for real now.

My feet are still in, so I'm still in the special.