Original subtitles

This is a story about a housewife during the sexual revolution.

The time is 1972, the place Los Angeles, and the people?

Ordinary.

Morning, lover.

You call this morning?

How about some breakfast?

Now I'm all set.

Coffee and the morning paper.

What do you want to do today, Mark?

I want to take some photos.

I've had this darn thing for a month and I haven't had time to use it yet.

It's supposed to take great pictures.

Do you know it comes with a set of ND filters?

Now that's a professional camera.

These girls in Playboy are pretty.

But none of them has a bust like mine.

What?

I have a better bust than any of these girls.

I should be in Playboy magazine.

That's right, honey. If I could say one thing about you, you've got great tits.

You're pretty ample yourself where it counts

Such

a beautiful day Maybe we could just lie by the pool all day.

I love lying by the pool And you could take pictures of me That's not a bad

idea, honey. My new camera will put you in the right light But if you take your

clothes off the neighbors will see They've seen tits before.

I mean, they've either got them or they're married to them. What's the big

deal?

But people are so uptight around here.

They go nuts when they see a little sex.

I know, honey. There's just not enough love in this world. That's the problem.

Hey, I know what's wrong with this thing.

The camera needs a mount before you can put the filter on.

A mount?

Sounds interesting.

Hi, Barbie.

Hi, Sheila.

Hi, Mark.

Hi, Barbie.

It's great to see you, Barbie.

To what do we owe this pleasure?

To sheer boredom.

Rick and I were going to spend the day together, but at the last minute, he had

to work.

On Sunday?

Yes, I know.

Isn't it terrible?

But it's really not so bad.

At least it leaves me time for other diversions.

What are you guys up to?

Oh, we're just relaxing.

Would you like a drink?

Isn't it a little early?

It's never too early, is it, honey?

There are more than a thousand ways to blend whiskey in Scotland, but doers

never varies.

So why should we?

Sheila, what are you reading?

Playboy magazine?

I can't believe it.

Oh, Barbie, don't be such a square.

I only look at it for the articles, and you'd be surprised. There's some very

artistic photography.

I can look as good as these girls. They're pretty, but they're too thin.

That's what I said, isn't it, honey?

Let's compare ourselves to them.

I gotta get this.

come and get it boys this all-american dish is just for you

be the italian

oh

boy oh boy

You girls are fantastic.

You girls are really great.

I'm going to get you a drink.

Thanks. Yeah, you girls are really great.

Thank you, Mark.

You're sweet.

So how's it going, Barbie?

How's what going?

Life, love, business.

Life and love are fine.

As for business, you should ask Rick.

Rick works so much, I hardly ever see him.

As for me, my job is always the same.

A little dictation, a little pinch on the behind.

You know, the life of a secretary.

Sounds fascinating.

You think so?

You should try it sometime.

You're a beautiful woman, Barbie.

Men can't help it if they respond to that.

You know, when I was a younger man, I only went for blondes.

Now I prefer brunettes.

They're more intense, more deeply sensual.

You'd better not let Sheila hear you say that.

What?

Nothing, Sheila.

I'm hot.

I'm going to go for a swim.

Would anyone like to join me?

I will.

There's nothing I like more than being wet.

Be careful, honey.

You're gonna say things you don't mean.

What? What did I say?

Never mind.

Remember last night, honey?

Remember what we did?

You little hussy. That's what I like about you. We have a great sex life,

don't we, honey?

Look.

Barbie's pouting.

What a baby.

Babies can't have cigarettes and alcohol.

Babies can only have milk.

Can I have a drink too?

Sure.

On a single pipeful of Bond Street tobacco, you can travel a couple of

relaxing miles in a canoe without even lifting a paddle.

Poor Barbie. All undressed and no place to go.

I'll get you a dress.

Now, how about that movie?

Good morning, Miss Smith.

Good morning, Mr. Humphrey.

Now, take a letter, Miss Smith.

Dear sirs, we at Mutual Insurance...

have been doing business with Johnson and Jones for over 15 years.

Hey, man.

Is this the welfare office?

Room 222, down the hall.

Oh, thanks, man.

Goddamn freeloading hippie.

Now, where were we?

We at Mutual Insurance.

Yes. Now, this merger...

This merger... Oh,

blast it, Miss Smith! That isn't the merger I want. It's you!

I'm glad to see that you're always on

top of things, Miss Smith.

Mine! All mine!

I'm not taking any calls.

Wait! I'm not through promoting you yet.

I'm ready for you, lover.

Rick!

Well, hello.

Hi, stranger.

How's your day, honey?

Long. I could use that martini.

Sure thing, Rick.

Anyone ever tell you you're the perfect little woman?

I sure try, Rick.

How was your day at the office, Rick?

Great. Sales have gone up 15% since I started working overtime.

If I keep it up, we'll be able to buy that cabin and the fishing boat by the

end of the year.

I sure am looking forward to doing some fishing.

I could use a break.

I lost my job today.

What happened?

Mr. Humphrey found out I was married.

It doesn't matter, honey.

I make enough money for the both of us.

You just work on being lovely and being my girl.

But I like to work.

Also, if I work, you won't have to go on so many business trips and work so much

overtime. But I need the business trips.

It's the only chance I get to unwind.

In Indianapolis, I go drag racing.

Monterey, I play golf.

And Aspen, I ski.

What could be better?

I understand, Rick.

It's just, I wish we could spend more time together.

If you spent more time with me, you'd get sick of me.

Rick, do you think I would make a good model?

Sure, honey.

You can do just about anything you put your mind to.

Now how about you put your mind and give me a little leaven?

happy birthday mark i brought you a present oh sheila crown royal my

favorite not the whiskey silly here open it

sheila cologne thanks now how about a

toast to the birthday boy

mark

barbie and rick have invited us to a barbecue on sunday Don't you think I

should have a new dress?

A new dress for a barbecue?

That's ridiculous.

It's lucky I'm responsible with our money or you'd have us in the poorhouse.

Here they are.

Hi. Hi.

How you doing, old boy?

I can't complain.

And yourself?

Not bad. Not bad.

I just love what you've done with your yard.

The manicured look.

Very in this year.

What would you two like to drink?

I'll have a pussycat.

Make it a gin and tonic.

One pussycat and one gin and tonic coming up.

Take it easy, old boy.

I have an audition tomorrow, and I want to be fresh.

There you are.

That's perfect.

You're looking good, Rick.

What do you do to stay so strong?

Oh, you know, tennis, golf, push-ups, jumping jacks.

What a man.

I wish Mark would take some exercise.

He's developing a beer belly.

Really? I don't think so.

Mark looks pretty good to me.

Thanks, Barbie. I return the compliment.

One more, bartender.

And put a lot of vodka in it, Rick.

I want to get really smashed today.

How's that?

No more.

That's quite an outfit, Barbie.

Oh, this old thing?

I only wear it around the house.

I'll bet.

Why doesn't everybody eat something?

There's plenty of food.

Come on.

All right.

Here, everybody. Take a plate.

Wow, Barbie. Everything looks great.

Thank you.

You really outdone yourself this time, Barbie.

It was nothing.

Mmm, Swedish meatballs.

I haven't had these in years.

I get them all the time now.

How is everything, Barbie?

Fine. I've got so much time on my hands, I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm learning to cook, at least, and we let the housekeeper go.

But I get so bored sometimes.

Rick works so much, I hardly ever see him.

I know what you mean.

Only my problem's the opposite.

Mark is home all the time now that he got laid off from that TV series.

I think the best thing for the both of us would be to get out of the house

more. I completely agree.

That's why I want to get another job.

Something meaningful.

I've even considered becoming a model.

Why don't you, Barbie?

You'd make a great model.

I'll think about it.

I noticed you got a new stereo system.

Pretty spiffy.

Yeah, it's a T-Act.

The receiver has glass tubes and it works with a remote.

We have a Panasonic.

It's not as expensive as your system, but not everything that makes nice

sounds has to be expensive.

But we need a new TV.

We're thinking about getting a color TV.

We need a new TV, too.

As soon as I trade in the car.

I've been wanting a Camaro.

And right now, business is great. So I think I'll go for it.

Why worry about money anyway?

I say live and love today, pay tomorrow.

That's the American way.

You can take that live and love stuff too far.

For one thing, your cologne is way too strong, man.

It's knocking me out.

This cologne?

It was a birthday present from Sheila.

You may laugh, but let me tell you, the ladies go for it.

You might think about buying some to please your own lady.

No, thanks.

My lady likes me just the way I am.

Rick, I need another pussycat.

Sure thing, Mrs. Campbell.

Rick says my cologne's too strong.

What do you think, girls?

Do you like the way I smell?

Hey, lay off. That's my woman.

Lighten up, Rick. It was just a joke.

There you go, girls.

Mark, I thought I told you to lay off.

Don't worry about them.

Bye, honey.

Have a great day.

Listen, Barbie, don't make dinner tonight.

I'll be working late at the office.

Rick, not again.

I'm sorry, baby, but it can't be helped.

You be a good girl until I come home. I'll see you around ten.

Try to entertain yourself until then.

Alright, Rick. I'll try.

Thank you.

Hey, look at that.

Yeah, so you got class

May I help you?

Is Mr. Gladstone in?

Mr. Gladstone's out of the office today.

I'm Miss Marker, Mr.

Gladstone's assistant.

What can I do for you?

My name is Barbie Smith, and I want to be a model.

Have a seat, Barbie.

Do you have any experience?

No, I'm afraid not.

Well, you're hardly a little girl.

Don't you think it's a little late for you to start a modeling career?

Excuse me a moment.

Girls, stop horsing around and get ready.

The photographer will be here in ten minutes.

Come in the light, dear. I want to look at you.

You've got good bones, and your figure's okay.

But your hair, it just hangs down, and your makeup's all wrong.

But that shouldn't matter in the end, not for the kind of work you could get.

What do you mean?

Oh, you know, catalog work and art movies.

I'll tell you what, dear. Go get your hair and makeup done by a professional

and get some good photographs taken and come back.

If the pictures are any good, I'll run them by Mr. Gladstone.

Thank you, Miss Mucker.

Thank you for your help.

Barbie, maybe we could set up our own photo session.

I'm a very good photographer.

I live far away and it could go late, but you could spend the night at my

house.

Why, hello.

You must be Barbie.

Come on in.

You have a great place here.

Don't say that. It's not done.

Come on into the salon and we'll start.

Have a seat.

Now, what can I do for you today?

I want to look beautiful like a model.

You're already beautiful, Barbie.

But you know what your problem is?

You need to refine your look.

I'd like to see about a couple of inches off the bottom of your hair, a lot more

height and body at the crown, and some soft curls around your face.

Now, how does that sound?

It sounds wonderful.

All right.

Then let's begin.

I love cutting hair.

I could do it all day long.

Now, who could that be?

Excuse me a moment.

Oh, hi Reeves. I'm in the middle of a hair session.

I just came to borrow a cup of sugar.

Okay. Come on into the kitchen.

Is that all? Just sugar?

Of course. What else would it be?

Actually, do you mind if I watch you work?

Not at all. Come on in.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Sorry.

Reeves, this is Barbie.

Barbie, this is my neighbor, Reeves. Glad to meet you.

Barbie wants to look like a model, and I'm going to help her all I can.

She doesn't need any help as far as I'm concerned.

Go sit down. I'm going to start.

Now for some hairspray. Actually...

I think I need to keep going.

You don't have to go.

I have all day.

It's so hot in here.

Why don't you two go sit on the couch and I'll make some refreshing shakes.

Oh.

Okay.

Here you are.

Thank you. Thanks.

Bottoms up.

Mmm. What's in this?

It's got milk and vanilla and sugar and ice and a special ingredient.

Whatever it is, it's delicious.

It's not the only thing around here that's delicious.

Please, Reeves, I'm taken.

I'm not talking about you. What a pity. And after all my hospitality.

This is so refreshing.

You have to give me the recipe so I can make it for Rick.

Who's Rick?

My husband.

You have a husband?

Don't look so shocked, pretty boy. They're all like that.

They'll do anything for a ring.

But that doesn't stop them from having a little fun on the side.

Many more than it stops me or you.

Don't say me and you in the same sentence like that.

We're not the same. Do you understand?

You two are so funny.

Why?

I don't know.

Everything seems really funny right now.

Well, I guess you're right. I mean, here we all are.

I feel so... strange.

Hahahaha!

Hahahaha!

What's so funny?

too bad she passed out on you if you ask me it's not much fun with a sleeping

beauty it's much more fun with a fully awake girl or boy

Thank you.

You must be the new nurse.

No, I'm his wife, Mrs. Smith.

How is he, Doctor?

Mrs. Smith, it seems that he worked himself into a state of hysteria when

you didn't come home last night.

He had a seizure, which led to a high fever, followed by pneumonia.

He's going to have to stay in bed for at least two weeks.

Now, I know this is not my business, but if I were you, I... I understand,

Doctor. I won't let it happen again.

Oh, Rick.

Rick, please forgive me. It's all my fault.

Barbie, where were you?

It doesn't matter now.

I did a bad thing, Rick, but I won't be bad anymore. I promise.

Barbie, what are you wearing?

Oh, darling, I love you. And I want to prove it to you.

That's why I'm dressed like a nurse.

I want to nurse you back to health.

I'll stay with you night and day until you're better. And then we'll do

everything you want to do.

You mean that, honey?

Of course I do.

Thank you, Barbie.

You're so good to me.

Now rest, darling.

Just rest.

I just love watching the guys play tennis, don't you?

Yes, Rick loves to play tennis.

From now on, everything's for Rick.

What sort of man reads Playboy? A personable guy whose personal appearance

is his calling card.

He knows that a big part of being welcome is being well groomed.

Here are your eggs, honey.

Thanks.

Your bags are all packed.

Did you pack my skis?

Yes, they're in the ski bag.

But when are you going to have time to ski with all those business meetings?

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

I'm going to extend my trip to a month.

Then I'll have time for business and leisure.

A month?

Darling, you can't mean that.

We were planning a trip in two weeks.

I know.

This is more important.

If I don't ski now, I won't ski until next year.

Is there more coffee?

Of course.

Why don't you bring me along?

I could learn to ski, too.

Oh, no. It's not for you.

You'd get bored.

Are there going to be girls up there?

Girls?

There are girls everywhere.

Of course there'll be girls.

Is that why you don't want me to come?

Barbie, what has gotten into you?

It's just a business trip.

I'll be home before you know it.

I know.

It's just... I'm so disappointed.

You're always working.

And I was looking forward to this vacation so we could spend some time

together.

Why are you always on my back?

Can't the guy just have some fun every once in a while?

Look, Barbie, you're being a ball and chain.

I need to go in the outdoors and express myself.

It's who I am.

All right.

Express yourself, then.

I don't care what you do. Stay away as long as you like.

Stay away forever.

Maybe I will.

No, you've really blown it, Barbie.

Before, I wanted to come back.

Now, I'm not sure.

I need my space, and I need to think.

I'll call you when I'm good and ready. You may be waiting a long time.

Oh,

Sheena,

it's so horrible.

Rick and I got in a fight, and I yelled at him.

And now he may never come back.

Well, that's terrible.

But can you believe it? Mark and I split up, too.

He's gone to live with his brother.

Listen, Barbie, maybe we can benefit from our newfound freedom.

How do you mean?

Put on something sexy, and I'll be right over.

There, that's better.

That'll knock their eyes out.

Now, Barbie, you look stuffy compared to me.

I do?

Yes, definitely stuffy.

Here, come here.

Take off your vest and tie.

But my blouse is transparent, and I'm not wearing a bra.

Well, that's the whole point.

Here, come on, give them to me.

But Sheila, we can't just go out on the street looking like this.

Are you kidding?

This is the 1970s.

We're liberated women now. We're dressing for ourselves.

Barbie, isn't this exciting?

All alone in the city and no husbands.

Sheila, what are we going to do?

I don't know.

Let's stand over there and think.

Would you look at that, Harry?

I've got eyes in my head.

Hi, girls.

You look very sexy.

Very nice.

Who do you work for?

Well, I was just fired from my job, and Sheila here has never worked. So I guess

you could say we work as housewives.

Housewives?

Dressed like that?

Yeah. You see, we want to have adventures.

Oh, my.

Well, let me introduce myself.

I'm Mrs.

James. I'm Barbie. And I'm Sheila.

Pleased to meet you.

Now, you girls say you want some adventure.

Well, that's not so difficult for girls that look like you.

Only, what kind of adventure?

I want to meet a rich man who will buy me a fur coat and diamonds and who's not

at all like my cheapskate husband.

I want to meet someone kind and sensitive and loving.

I can arrange all of that.

Why don't you come up to my parlor, girls, and we'll discuss it. I live just

across the street.

So, the way I work is, I try to set people up so they can meet casually.

Call it a singles agency.

In most cases, the man pays me the commission fee so you don't have to

worry about any of that.

Is that all there is to it?

It all depends on if you girls want to just meet people or make a little money

on the side.

That sounds very provocative.

Tell us more.

It's a call girl service.

You, of course, get to okay the customers before agreeing to anything.

And you can make very good money.

Sheila, she means we would be prostitutes. I've always wanted to be a

prostitute. It sounds so romantic.

But isn't prostitution morally wrong?

No, Barbie.

Don't you see?

It's part of the sexual revolution.

It's taking advantage of your newfound sexual freedom.

Everybody's doing it.

I guess I never thought of that before. I mean, exploring my sexuality.

It does sound intriguing.

If you don't like it, you don't have to continue.

I mean, this is what we were looking for, isn't it? Some real adventure?

Yes, I guess so.

We have nothing to lose.

Perfect.

I knew you girls would be good sports.

Now, we'll have to come up with some new names for you.

I've always wanted to be called Candy.

Can I be Candy?

Of course.

And you, Barbie?

I want to be called Viva, which in Italy means to live.

Because that's what I want to do now, to live.

In fact... From now on, I'm going to be a new woman.

I'll never be Bobby again.

Just a moment, girls.

Hello?

Hello, Doctor.

I'm so glad you called.

I'm Dr.

Collins, and you must be a couple of whores.

You two girls look sick, very sick.

I think I'm going to have to operate.

Remember all that rubbish in high school about the human body being worth only 97

cents?

Hey, handsome.

Buy us a drink? Look at those muscles.

Come on, leave me alone.

I'm not in the mood.

Didn't I see you on the slopes today?

What?

Oh, yeah.

Do you go skiing often?

Excuse me.

I'll take $100 from my commission.

Good.

Oh, perfect.

Now, I'll make some phone calls and try to set you up with your dream men.

A sensitive guy for Viva, and a millionaire for Candy.

That coat does a lot for you, dear.

But I'm sure you've done a lot for it.

Right this way.

Your waiter will be right with you.

My dear, you look like a sweet little innocent girl.

How old are you, dear?

I'm 29, Mr. Carlisle. I'm glad you're 29, dear. I prefer older women.

Bring us some...

Chateau Noufty Park.

1956.

And two Waldorf salads.

Yes, sir. Right away.

Hey, my dear.

We shall spend a splendid evening with food and wine.

Yes.

Then we can go shopping for that little itty-bitty present that you promised me.

You mean the diamond bracelet?

Yes, indeed.

And we'll pick one up at Cartier.

To us. To us.

And to Cartier.

Mr.

Carlisle, you've been so generous to me.

But do you know what else I would like, Mr. Carlisle?

A white horse.

It's been my fantasy all my life just to ride and ride a white horse.

And you will, my dear, you will.

There's a lot of strength in this old horse.

Whatever

happens

along the way You know I'll

always be true

As long as I have diamonds, sheared mink coats,

a white horse, and you.

You may not be so handsome, young, or strong,

but we can do it.

And a fantasy whore so white

And

so

I sink back in my red

And dream of things I can't resist.

Like diamonds, Halston dresses, imported scotch,

and a white horse in the mist.

Hi.

Are you looking for someone?

I was wondering if I have the right address.

I'm here to meet Elmer.

Oh, Elmer's down there.

Thanks.

Hey.

You're gonna have to take your clothes off.

But I'm just here to meet someone.

Oh, leave her alone.

You can go on down.

Thanks.

Marcuse's foundation is Freud's principle that our instincts are founded

in the pleasure principle of eros, or libidinal energy.

Too often, we sublimate this energy into a work impulse, which is what makes

civilization possible.

It's nice to see youngsters showing an interest in nature.

Are you saying that we should reject Freud's model and just be

ourselves in the moment?

That's precisely what I'm saying.

Excuse me.

Is one of you Elmer?

Elmer? No, man.

Elmer's over there, man.

He's the one with the guitar.

Oh, thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Very well, very well.

Hi, Elmer.

Yeah, Viva?

Oh, hi, darling. So glad you came.

Hey, everyone. This is Viva.

Hi.

Uh, we have a rule out here. No clothing in the garden.

Clothing strictly forbidden.

I'll take my dress off in a minute. I just have to get used to the idea.

Isn't it ironic that we need to get used to existing in our most natural state?

Clothing only constricts us and sets up arbitrary social codes.

You'd feel much better if you shut all that.

Oh, just ignore her. I mean, how uptight can you get?

What a downer.

Live and let live.

That's my motto.

Hey, everybody, I'm going to sing a song.

It's about love.

Love, the power of love, the power of love is the power to make

me love you.

Love, the power of love, the power of love makes me want to get

it on with you.

Love, it's good for the birds, it's good for the trees, it's good for you

and me.

Love is good for all humanity.

Love

is

good for the birds.

It's good for the trees.

It's good for you.

and me love it's good for all humanity

No, thanks. I got a date with Viva.

Let's play.

So, how'd you get hooked up with the agency?

I'll be honest with you. I got in a fight with my husband.

That's when I realized that life could be so much more.

That I could be having adventures instead of just staying home and cooking

all the time and waiting for him to come home.

That's cool. That's very cool.

This whole husband and wife thing's a drag, isn't it? Puts unnecessary

constraints on free love.

So glad you told me how you feel.

I want to know all about you.

About your hopes, your fears, what you love, what you hate. I want to reach

deep inside and pull out the real Viva.

But why do you want to know about me?

Because I feel a strange attraction to you. Could it be love? No, it couldn't

be. Yet it is love.

Pure love energy. The most beautiful thing in the world. Do you feel it too,

Viva? I don't know.

I'm not sure how I feel.

Oh, baby, I love you so much.

I like you, but you're going too fast.

I don't even know you. What's the matter, baby?

I mean, you came here to get it on with me, right? So why waste time?

Elmer, stop it.

Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

We'll do whatever you want to do.

There's already enough conflict in this world.

War and pollution, hypocrisy and greed.

We have to do whatever we can.

Spread love on this planet, not war.

What is it? Cigarette?

Man, baby, are you square.

It's marijuana.

Have some.

It's good.

Oh, I love to see you smile, Viva. Your smile is beautiful.

Everything about you is beautiful.

I want to see how beautiful you are. Will you show me? Come on, show me your

body.

Look, I'm showing you my body.

You have no reason to be ashamed. I won't touch you, I promise.

Elmer, I can't just take off my clothes.

I've only just met you.

What's the big deal, for Christ's sakes? I mean they're only clothes. Don't be

such a ninny, I swear.

How's this, Elmer?

Hey, you know what, baby? You look good in pink.

Relax,

baby. Relax and feel the lovin'. I'm gonna make you feel real good.

I thought I was gonna hate myself this morning, but I don't. I hate you.

So you see, Mrs. James, it wasn't what I thought it would be, so I had to leave.

I thought Elmer would be the perfect choice.

He's such a sensitive, natural guy.

That's the problem. He's too natural, too focused on the physical.

You know, Viva, I've got just the man for you.

His name is Clyde, and he's an artist.

You must be Viva.

Come on in.

Have a seat.

May I offer you a drink?

Yes, thank you.

I did those photos last week for a magazine spread.

Do you like them?

Yes, they're beautiful.

Who is the model?

Oh, I don't remember her name.

A professional model.

They're all the same.

She's very pretty.

I would think you would remember her.

It's a job. The models come and go.

This one's pretty.

But she doesn't have much of a personality.

Does personality matter to you, then?

Oh, personality's everything.

I mean, what's the point of looking at a bunch of pictures of vacuous girls?

When I photograph a girl from my artwork, she's got to have pizzazz,

oomph, élan.

Did those girls have élan?

You bet your tushy they did, honey.

I like a woman with a good backside.

You can see that.

But if a girl doesn't have personality, I don't even give her arse a second

look.

You, for example.

You have that extrune.

You have star quality.

I saw that the first moment you walked in.

Really? Oh, yes.

It's written all over you.

I knew you were a model or an actress.

The moment you walked in that door.

But I'm not a model or an actress.

In fact, I've never modeled before.

Well, that explains it.

That's why you're so natural and so original.

You ever learn to be all vampy and cheap like most girls in pictures today?

You've got a natural innocence.

It's absolutely fabulous.

Would you like to look at yourself, Viva?

Of course.

What woman doesn't?

I would like to take some pictures of you.

Let's see, Viva.

Arch your back.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Perfect. There. Look at me. Look at me.

Tasty. Love it.

Love it.

Yes, there. There. Sexy.

Fabulous, Viva. Fabulous. Hold it.

Love it. Love it. Love it.

Whoo!

I'll have these photos developed in the morning.

You're real knockout, Viva.

You think so?

Sure.

What's the matter?

Why are you all tense?

Relax.

Clive, Clive, I really like you, but I don't want to rush things.

I want to be sure, you know?

Look, honey, it's not such a big deal. We like each other. We turn each other

on.

That's all that matters, right?

Clive, Clive, stop it.

I didn't leave my husband for this.

I'm a liberated woman now. I don't want to be a man's plaything.

I'll let you know when I want you to touch me.

Until then, we're just friends.

Okay?

Screw you, women's lib.

All right.

Have it your way.

But when you come to me begging for it, don't expect me to be there.

Thank you, Clyde. You're sweet.

What do you think?

I need a closer look.

You naughty boy.

Is that my foot?

Anyone have a joint?

I've got one.

Oh, I left Viva alone.

Arthur, come meet a friend of mine.

Viva! This is my fabulous friend, Arthur.

He'll take care of you.

I need to talk to those demanding girls.

Tata?

Let me introduce myself.

Arthur Cantor II, at your disposal.

Glad to meet you.

I'm Viva.

An aspiring model, I assume?

Not quite.

But maybe someday.

Where are you from?

Judging from your look and your name, I would say... Tuscany, am I right?

Yes. My mother was Italian and I was born in Rome.

But I've lived here most of my life.

My parents died in a car accident when I was little and I was raised in a convent

in San Jose.

But the nuns sent me away to a public school when I was 14 because they said

they couldn't handle me.

And what about you? Where are you from?

I'm from Liverpool, child. I've traveled the wide world in the seven seas and

done just about everything that you could possibly think of.

Right now, I'm amusing myself, directing a little local production of the hit

show, Oh Baby.

Heard of it?

Of course.

Isn't that the one where no one wears any clothes?

Exactly. It's new, it's fresh, it's alive, it reflects the spirit of the

age.

Why don't you audition for it?

For a nude musical?

I don't know.

I would love to be in a musical, but I would prefer to keep my clothes on.

But why not nude?

I mean, why not? You have nothing to hide.

You're, um, beautiful.

I'll second that.

What?

Nothing, honey.

Why don't you come into the tub?

What do you think? Should we get into the tub?

It's nice and warm in here.

It does seem warm.

Very warm. I think I'll leave you two lovebirds to it.

Just don't do anything that I wouldn't do.

Crystal, don't put that ass away.

What's your name, beautiful?

They call me Viva.

Viva? Meow.

That's a pretty sexy name. I'm Agnes.

Glad to meet you, Agnes.

You're new around here, aren't you? I've never seen you at any of Clyde's parties

before. Yes, this is my first party.

Oh, well, don't get taken in by all the promises.

That's all I have to say.

Clyde and his friends, they talk big, but you won't necessarily get famous

hanging around here.

But if you like to party, I guess that's okay.

Just don't get hurt.

I can take care of myself.

That's good.

Because you look like someone who needs taking care of.

By someone who knows how.

Hey, Viva!

I'm throwing up.

Clyde isn't here. He's gone to the country.

Yes, I know.

Do you mind if I come in?

Can I get myself a drink?

Go ahead.

What's that you're reading?

Nothing.

The sensuous woman?

Why, Viva, you are spending altogether too much time alone.

What do you mean?

You're burning up with lust. I can see that.

You spend all day thinking about nothing but sex, and yet you're living with man

and you don't let him touch you. Why?

Let me make love to you.

I can make you happy.

No strings attached.

Just pure animal lust.

Just you and me. Your body and my body.

Right here and right now.

Oh, you've really turned me on.

Fantastic.

Don't hold back.

Give me everything!

You know, Chris, I just can't get Sheila out of my mind.

Do you think I should call her?

No way. Let her come crawling back to you.

Show her who's boss.

Yes, I guess you're right.

But it sure is lonely without any women around.

Are you kidding?

What's the whole point about being a bachelor?

There are always women around.

You're right.

Why be miserable because of one woman when there are tons of chicks who can't

wait to get into my pants?

To the bachelor's life. To the bachelor's life.

Go and see who that is, will you?

Hi, I'm Kelly.

I just moved in Nick's store. These walls, they're as thin as paper, and I

couldn't help but overhear you two lonely guys talking.

May I come in?

Sure.

I'm Mark, and this is my brother, Chris.

Pleased to meet you.

And what's this you're drinking?

Champagne? Yes, please, have a glass.

Don't mind if I do.

Hey, listen, are you two gentlemen into acting?

Not me, but my brother Mark here does it for a living.

Super-duper. Then we should come to the audition for the new musical, Oh Baby,

tomorrow. It'll be a real kick.

Are you going to be there? Sure.

I go to all the auditions.

Will you read with me?

Well, it's not a reading. It's a musical.

So you'll need to prepare a song.

Then...

Let's prepare a song.

But I'm a little slow at learning songs. We could be here all night. Oh, shame,

shame.

Hey, what about that song?

Later.

More champagne?

There has never been a better time to be a man.

The willing women, the dandy clothes, the frills.

The big rings in jewelry, the open shirts, the sense of entitlement.

Take it from me.

Savor this time, for it will soon be gone, never to return.

Great, kids, great. That's much better.

Now, for the song.

Next singer, please.

Your name?

Mark Campbell.

Ah, Mark Campbell, the television star.

Yes, I've seen your work. It's very, um, television.

Glad you're breaking up, Mark.

Girls, stay with him. Help him out. Make him feel good.

Randy, we're doing You've Got to Love Yourself.

Uh, what key?

E-flat.

You got it, baby.

If it feels like your bag, then wear it on your shoulder If it comes to

you naturally, embrace it, face it

don't you want to feel proud that you're an individual wave your freak flag

high and smile oh yeah you've got to love yourself love

your body love your mind i'm thinking of myself and i'm digging who i

am i look in the mirror and i know i'm not perfect

But I'm all I've got, so I've got to love me.

If it makes you feel good, then spread it all around you. If it makes you

feel bad, then deal with it, get with it. Don't you want to feel groovy?

Weird tops and turvy, paint a colorful world.

with your fingers oh yeah you've got to love yourself love your body love your

mind i'm thinking of myself and i'm digging who i am i look in

the mirror and i know i'm not perfect but i'm all i've got so

i've got to love me i've got to love

me love

take a break but don't go far now the pollution number

let's

chop down another tree much less air for you and me let's put

up a refinery who cares

Concrete paving is hard to eat.

Who wants nature? Acting isn't really my bag, but I sure go in for the auditions.

Hey, Clyde's hosting an orgy next weekend. It's going to be wild.

It's a costume ball, too, and you're all invited.

Thanks. I'll be there.

If Sheila can see me now, she's probably sitting at home right now feeling sorry

for herself.

while I get invited to an orgy.

Voila.

What do you think? V is for Viva.

And C is also for crime.

And for cocktail.

And mine is dry.

And V is also for vixen.

And for voluptuous.

And for virgin.

A word I'm sure you're quite unfamiliar with.

Except with me.

Now why is that, Viva?

Give me some time. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

You're impossible.

You're a devil.

Shoo! Shoo! Off! Off my sculpture!

The only thing that matters is art.

I would plunge myself in my art and forget all about you.

And for this one, my dear Viva, you weren't even the inspiration.

Agnes, get your ass in here.

I'm sick of showing you my ass.

Finish it from memory.

Why doesn't anyone want to cooperate around here?

What's wrong with you two anyway?

Hello?

Oh, hi, it's you.

Okay, I'll be right over.

But I have to tell you, I'm not pleased.

Thank you.

Here you go, Miss James.

Where's the rest of it?

I'm not paying anymore.

That's all she's worth.

Well, what's the problem?

I can't wait forever.

I mean, the girl wants to be my friend.

But honestly, who wants to be friends with a girl?

If she doesn't pull out this weekend, I'm going to have to move on.

You know what I mean?

Have you tried drugs?

Drugs?

No. I mean, I don't want to be the big bad wolf.

No, wait.

What am I saying?

I should try drugs.

Try these on her tonight.

It will completely release her inhibitions and then put her in a total

trance state.

All right.

I've heard of this.

All right.

I'll try it.

Thanks, Mrs. J.

So this is where the batters sat congregating.

And to rest.

Luscious. Luscious.

You want to know what?

You really turn me on.

I turn you on. I turn everybody on.

Looks like you're dry, Viva.

Here's another.

Thanks.

Hi, lover.

Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should.

You mean as a cigarette should.

What do you want?

Grammar or good taste?

Murray.

Heal me a grape. Who do you think you are, Garbo?

That was Mae West, you ass.

Agnes, my Amazon beauty, come talk to me.

So what do you think of the party?

It has potential.

Yes. I do have the best parties, but that's because I work at them.

Champagne, caviar, the best pots and liqueur.

You must try this new Swedish vodka.

It's the most pleasurable idea from Scandinavia.

Since the blood.

It's true that money can't buy you love, but it sure can get you a bunch of

willing sex slaves.

I wonder. At least one of your sex slaves doesn't seem to be cooperating.

Oh. Yes, that one. She is difficult and none too discriminating, I hear. But her

taste is about to improve.

She's hot.

Now look, little missy.

Viva is mine tonight.

If you so much let a finger on her, I'll crush you.

Understand?

Stop looking over there, lover boy.

The action's over here, remember?

Hey, isn't that Rick's wife? What's her name? Barbie?

Yeah, Barbie.

All laid out and ready for a feast.

I could eat her alive.

Eat me alive.

No. Don't touch her.

It's very dangerous.

I'm the only one that knows what to do.

Everyone, go back to what you were doing.

Bye.

Thank you.

Hello?

Hi, Viva?

Just wanted to see how you made it home from the orgy the other day.

Hello? Hello?

Viva? Is that you?

So you see, Sheila, that's everything.

You can see why I feel strange about it.

It's as if I became a different person.

I really became this viva, this sex goddess.

And they all worshipped me and wanted me.

I became, how can I tell you, totally a woman.

And I liked it.

But it was too much.

I saw a side of myself that was probably better kept hidden. A side that

frightened me.

It was so powerful.

I became a female animal made only for pleasure.

Do you know what I mean?

Well, not exactly.

What you're describing sounds kind of dark.

But I don't see what's so scary about living for pleasure.

I've done it all my life.

I love to have a good time.

But I think I'm finally done with the wildlife forever.

Oh, Bobby, I have the greatest news.

Mark and I are going to have a baby.

But are you sure it's Mark's?

Of course.

Oh, Barbie, you don't think I actually slept with any of those guys at the

agency, do you?

Mark and I have patched everything up.

He came home as soon as he heard about the baby.

I've never been so happy in all my life.

I mean, I sowed my wild oats, and it was fun.

But now I realize that all I ever really wanted was Mark and this baby.

I sold the diamond bracelet and the fur coat I got from dear old Mr.

Carlisle and put the money into a trust fund for the baby.

Oh, but we kept the horse.

Isn't he cute?

Barbie, don't look so shocked.

Mark and I tell each other everything, don't we, honey?

And you thought I was bad.

He went to an orgy.

What's the matter, Barbie?

Never been to an orgy before?

So, what about you?

What are you going to do now?

I'm quitting the wildlife, too.

I've had enough.

I envy you, Sheila.

You look so happy.

And I miss Rick.

Don't worry, Barbie.

He'll come back.

I just know it.

I hope so.

Why don't you just give up on her? She's not worth it.

Something's not right.

I need to go home.

Telegram for Mrs.

Rick Smith.

Is that you?

Yes.

Oh, Rick, why don't you ever use your key?

Mark!

I came over here because I wanted to see you dance.

Dance for me, Viva!

Dance!

Mark, you're drunk.

I'm drunk, but...

Not too drunk to... Oh,

it was the shy little flower, huh?

You certainly had me fooled.

You're not just dirty, Barbie.

You're abnormal.

What are you talking about?

Clyde told me all about you and what you and Agnes did.

You're not only a whore, you're a filthy lesbian.

Please leave, Mark. You're not yourself.

You don't know what you're saying.

I don't, huh?

Well, just because I'm going to be a father doesn't mean I'm henpecked yet.

I'm going to teach you how to obey a real man for a change.

Mark, no!

You little whore.

You've had this coming for a long time.

Barbie,

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Did I hurt you?

No, I'm okay.

But please go.

Don't tell Sheila about this.

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

But go.

Rick is coming home, and if he finds you here, everything will be ruined.

Barbie?

I'm home.

Rick.

What's that scent?

I recognize it.

It's my perfume.

No, it's not.

It's... Mark's been here.

I'd recognize that cologne anywhere.

And his scent, it's all over you.

Yes. Mark and Sheila came to visit, but they're gone now.

Oh, honey, it's so great to see you.

Why is your negligee all rumpled and your hair all disheveled?

Your mark's tie?

Barbie, this is the last straw.

No, I cannot forgive you for this.

It's definitely over, Barbie.

Rick, it's not what you think it is.

You've got to listen.

So, how's everything going?

Not bad.

I'm back in a TV show, so I'm keeping pretty busy and staying out of trouble.

It's difficult, but I'm going to be a father now, so I'm changing my ways. How

about you?

Things are going pretty good. I can't complain.

Barbara and I are taking a vacation next month to the Riviera.

Kind of like a second honeymoon.

I've been spending a lot more time at home lately.

I tell you what, I kind of like it.

Hey, Rick, I've got something for you. Hold on a minute.

Go on.

Open it.

Wow. What is it?

It's an antique wooden duck.

I thought you and Barbie would get a kick out of it.

You know, a little bit of the old country and a touch of European class.

Hey. I think you're right.

I think you'll look great up on our mantelpiece.

Thanks, Mark.

Don't mention it.

Come on, everybody.

You have to try my new crab canapé.

I got the recipe from Playboy magazine.

Sheila, are you still reading that?

Of course.

Where else would I get such a fantastic gourmet recipe?

You have to give me the recipe so I can make it for Rick.

You see?

He loves it.

Hello?

Hello, Viva.

It's me, Arthur. How are you doing, doll?

Listen, sweetheart.

I have a role for you.

I've been putting it together in my head ever since I saw you sing at the Orgy.

It's a new musical, with a blonde and a brunette.

Kind of partners in crime.

And you don't have to take your clothes off.

People are bored to death with nudity.

I need to give them something different, and I'm going to give it to them.

Showgirl costumes.

Sequins. Vaudeville.

I return to the Busby Barclay musicals of yesteryear with just a nod to Jacques

Demy.

Listen, come down to the theatre. I will tell you all about it.

Oh, and if you've got a pretty blonde friend, bring her along.

This is going to be the freshest thing since Liberace.

What do you say?

I'll be right down.

Rick, honey, I've been offered a job.

That's fantastic, honey.

What is it?

It's an acting job. It's what I've always wanted.

I'm going to the theater now to meet with the manager.

Will you be back in time to cook dinner?

Of course.

Now you get to see Mommy become a big star.

This is your chance, girls.

Give it everything you've got.

Take good care of him.

We're just two girls who have seen it all. Things haven't always gone the way

we planned.

We've gotten into some serious trouble.

The trouble be damned.

We're just two little girls from the suburbs.

But we can be lovers.

Lovers. Sing.

We can be what we want to be.