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FIRSTBORN

For Kierkegaard, the feeling of anguish comes from the future, not the past.

because it concerns the choices we make.

Our choices are precisely what give us confirmation

and fulfillment as individuals.

Basically, choices create anguish

when we're afraid of making the wrong decision

among a myriad of possibilities.

Is that clearer now?

Good.

Send me your essays by next week.

Goodbye.

We're ready, aren't we?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Wouldn't all yellow be better?

It's more cheerful this way, don't you think?

Aren't there too many colors? It might not be soothing enough.

No. Can you pass me the hammer, please?

Can you do that?

Of course I can, what do you think?

Thanks.

Everything looks fine.

But I have to get the workers to come back.

Why?

Because... we have to widen all the doors.

Soon, you're not going to fit through them.

Bastard!

Careful!

And now let's train our pelvic floor.

Remember to breathe.

Breathing is essential.

-Everything seems to be normal. -Oh, good.

Not long now, and it'll have to come out.

We can wait, can't we?

Here they are!

-Hi, all. -Welcome. Good evening.

-How are you? -Fine, you?

Ada, you get more beautiful all the time. It's incredible.

-Thank you. -That's true, absolutely.

So why are you still with this loser?

Let's just say I don't have high expectations.

Sure, all right. Listen, this goes in the fridge.

Thank you.

So, you're not cheap anymore, it's official.

I'm leaving! Did you guys team up or something?

-Let's get this chilling. -Yes, go ahead and finish cooking.

Come on.

We need to have a little chat, you and I.

How's it going?

Fine, I'm just a bit tired after the renovations.

Is it over?

Yes, finally.

We changed everything. It's beautiful.

-Beautiful. -Yes.

I mean, 50 years ago no one had all these intolerances.

My grandfather lived to be 104 years old, you know?

I couldn't agree more.

Excuse me, but are you two moving in together?

We're thinking about it.

Anyway, you're right. My doctor doesn't

let me eat practically anything anymore.

No raw fish, meat only if it's well done, no eggs,

nothing spicy, no vegetables. I've had enough!

Well, one last effort. It's not long now.

You stay out of this, you're in cahoots with her.

I swear, he monitors my food.

He's always checking his phone to see what I can or cannot eat.

It's true, I do that, but in the end you eat whatever you please.

It's a losing battle, let's be clear about that.

How much longer?

-Not long. -Not long.

What about the name? Have you decided?

-Lorenzo. -Andrea.

Whatever...

You can choose a name at the last minute, right?

Yes, of course.

I'll bring the salad.

Sure, thanks.

Hey...

Sweetheart, will you look at me?

It was just a slip of the tongue.

I know, but it doesn't happen to you.

No, that's not true.

Okay, it doesn't happen to you anymore.

Whatever. It happens. It can happen. It's normal. Yes, it is.

Come on, don't get all paranoid about something so insignificant.

The doctor told us it could happen, remember? It happens, it's normal.

It's nothing to worry about.

Everything's okay. Come on, breathe.

Rino!

Here I am, I was in the bathroom.

-A fuse must have blown, did you see? -Yeah, I realized that.

-I'll go check. -Sure, but hurry up.

Why?

Are you scared?

Are you scared?

No...

It's very romantic...

Go on, silly, go have a look.

Ada, be careful if you leave the room. I broke a vase.

Rino, why aren't the lights coming back on?

I don't know, there must be a problem.

What's going on?

There's someone here, look. Look!

No, wait, this fucking rain.

No, no, I saw him.

Who?

I don't know who, I didn't ask him, what the hell do I know?

Where? Everything is locked. There's no one there.

No one.

-Want to go have a look together? -Yes.

I'm sure I saw something.

Come on, sweetheart, no one is there.

Let's just... go to sleep.

Come here.

The headboard?

It's there.

It's there. The side panels?

Them, too.

And the footboard?

-The footboard is there, too. -The footboard is there, too.

Perfect.

The screws?

-No screws. -No.

That's strange, I was sure I saw them.

Well, they're not here.

-Just look at that. -What are you doing?

This pisses me off, it's not the first time.

Where is he? Where is he?

It's a dream, everything's fine.

My baby...

Breathe, breathe.

My baby...

That's what our subconscious does, to help us process things

we can't understand rationally.

Great. Thanks, unconscious, for these nightmares.

You always react that way.

If you were just a bit, not a lot, but a bit more open,

you'd understand a lot of things.

Understand what?

Maybe it's not necessarily a bad thing.

It might be a message.

A message from whom?

From the afterlife.

Come on, Paola. Please don't start with the mythology, I beg you.

-Maybe she has something to tell you. -Like what?

Maybe someone wants to tell you something and you don't...

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry.

Call in sick.

You can see your students next week, can't you?

I wish.

-I have to meet the dean today. -Oh, I see.

You're going to meet the dean.

That sounds like a good enough reason to leave me at home alone.

Hey, aren't you going swimming today?

No, not today.

Why not? It's Wednesday.

The instructor is sick.

Yes.

-Maybe next time I'll come too. -No, no.

-Why not? -There's no need. Look at me.

I can float without moving.

Hey, I'll pick up some pizzas.

Okay, I forgive you.

Bye, sweetheart.

Maybe I wasn't ready to go back.

-We talked about it a lot. -I know.

You're the one who didn't want to sell.

I know, I know.

But now it's strange.

I know, it's strange for me too.

But now we have to focus on Lorenzo.

Without the house, how will we manage?

What if we sell it now?

Ada, it's not something you can do in just a month.

Wait.

Don't worry.

I'm here for you.

You don't have to worry about anything.

Okay?

Mum.

Mum, where are you?

What are you doing?

I'm fixing it.

Where did you find it?

In the attic.

Why?

I couldn't sleep.

Remember?

Look, it works fine.

We should have thrown it out.

Mum...

why can't Dad see me?

Because...

Doesn't he love me anymore?

No, love, no.

Do you know why Dad can't see you?

Because you have the power to become invisible.

-Really? -Yes.

But like all superheroes,

it takes a long time to learn to use your powers properly.

But you can see me, now.

Because I believe in superheroes.

And Dad doesn't?

He will see you when he's ready.

Does he have them, too?

Who?

The one in your belly.

We'll find out when he arrives.

Catch me if you can!

Mum, come here.

Ada!

Is everything okay?

Yes.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm working. What is it?

This is incredible.

Love, calm down, what's going on?

What do you mean, what's going on?

Why didn't you come to the gynaecologist?

Just incredible.

I forgot, sorry.

You left me waiting there. I kept calling, you didn't answer.

-I got worried. -You're right, I'm so sorry.

Look at me, I'm fine, just fine.

-Sorry, come here. Forgive me. -Okay, but...

Good Lord, I completely lost my head.

I got distracted by the essays.

The important thing is that you're feeling okay.

I'm fine, just fine, don't worry.

-We have to make another appointment. -Right, we will.

Why didn't you answer the phone?

I told you, I got distracted. Sorry.

Today's appointment was important...

Lucia? It's Rino.

No, no, she's fine. She was a bit tired...

Yes, I'm aware of that.

Listen, you tell me: when can we come back?

No, whenever is good for you.

Thursday at 2 p.m.?

Thursday at 2 p.m.?

Fine, sounds great.

Thanks, and again, I'm sorry. Bye.

Thursday at 2 p.m.

-Sorry. -Let's remember this, because...

what a scare. Jesus.

Don't worry, I'm fine.

The important thing is that you're feeling okay.

Do you remember De Cesare?

Who? That kid in your class? The one with the red glasses?

Yes.

Why?

Did you know that he's writing a thesis

on the concept of life after death in India?

Wow. Imagine that, a totally new concept, never addressed.

Good for you, De Cesare.

Do you believe in it?

Oh, come on.

Answer me, yes or no?

No, no.

Why, do you?

I don't know.

Since when?

Think about it for a moment.

Don't look at me like that, wait a sec.

Come on, Ada.

Why won't you listen to me? We're just talking.

-Oh, please. Come on. -Wait.

What if there really is another life?

Why this face? Did I say something horrendous?

First the name, then the toy,

now you come up with this bullshit about life after...

That genius Paola, she's the one who put this in your head, isn't she?

-It's not bullshit. -It's not?

Come on.

I saw Andrea.

What did you say?

What do you mean, "I saw Andrea"?

I saw him here, in the house.

Ada, come here.

Come here, please. Come here and look at me.

Look at me.

He's gone.

-Andrea is gone. -I know. I'm not crazy.

You're acting like you are.

I don't know why you didn't see him, but I swear he was here.

He was here, it was him. It was Andrea, I swear.

Listen, why don't we both go see the psychologist again?

Maybe it would be good for us, right now...

Why don't you believe me? Huh?

Why?

How can I believe that my son is here?

Maybe if you stopped pretending that our son never existed,

you would see him too.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Sometimes it seems like you've completely forgotten him.

What do you know?

Huh?

Did you ever ask me?

You don't understand, you just don't realise.

What? What don't I understand?

That you're not the only one who feels bad.

It doesn't seem that way.

How can you say that to me?

You have forgotten him.

That's why you don't see him.

-No, no. -Yes.

No, no. I don't see him because he's not here,

because he's at the cemetery, because he is dead.

I haven't forgotten anyone.

I just want to feel okay with myself again,

and you always do your best to start a fight.

To ruin everything.

Maybe you should have let me go.

Like you did with him?

Oh, my God.

You can't blame everything on me just because you feel guilty.

Not only did I have to put up with what you did,

I also had to console you.

It was a shitty position to be in.

How fucking dare you?

Hi.

What?

Paola?

Wait, the line isn't very good here. Just a sec.

Maybe over here it's better.

You say it's okay?

Alright, sure, let's talk later.

Bye!

Am I dead?

Yes.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because now you're back.

I won't let you go again.

You didn't want me.

No.

No. That's not true, love.

I never want to see you again.

It was just an accident.

Andrea?

Are you awake?

I didn't want to say those things to you.

I didn't really mean it.

It's just that I feel bad too.

I know.

Thanks.

Did you really see him?

No.

I just felt weak for a moment.

-Ada... -No, no, no.

It was only for a moment.

Don't worry.

The monitoring looks perfect.

"But when they approach, or come to be, our intelligence is wholly void;

and if others bring us nothing, we know nothing of your human state."

This is where Farinata explains to Dante

that the damned can only see the future

when the events are distant in time,

whereas, if an event is close in time, their power vanishes.

That's fine.

Why don't we talk a little about the tenth canto of the Inferno?

Professor, I think I just finished talking about the tenth canto.

Andrea?

Where are you?

Andrea?

We are walking among the ruins of an ancient temple,

presumably dedicated to the goddess Mephitis,

a pagan divinity of the Italic peoples, who has always been considered

the goddess of female fertility and water.

This is why sacred areas dedicated to her

are often found near rivers or lakes.

Or near transhumance routes,

because Mephitis presided over all passages,

such as the passage between day and night or between life and death.

In Roman times, Mephitis took on malevolent overtones.

Passages, which had always been associated with transhumance,

were now associated with passing away, and therefore with death.

This is why the goddess was given the name "Queen of the Underworld."

According to mythology, the waters of her lake

were where one of the entrances to the underworld was found.

That is where souls would pass through before reaching Hell.

Now we'll move on to the theatre. Come, follow me.

What are you doing here?

I want to talk to Andrea.

Are you sure Rino isn't coming back?

He's staying late at the university.

How come you decided just now?

Because I'm prepared to do this now.

-I feel better, I'm ready to apologise. -It's not your fault.

I know.

I know, but I need to do this.

There are risks.

I don't care. I want to do it. I... I have

to explain it all to him, I have to...

Listen to me.

Don't do anything rash.

Spiritualism is serious business, all it takes is the slightest mistake.

Remember...

you can only ask simple questions.

All right.

It's better not to disturb the realm of the dead too much.

I understand.

Never, ever ask a soul to return to Earth.

A soul that returns to Earth is convinced that it has to fix something,

and the more time goes by, the stronger it becomes,

the closer it gets to its goal.

That's clear, I understand, okay.

We could open a passage that we might no longer be able to close.

Is this all right?

I think so.

I'm not sure I'm going to succeed.

Andrea...

Can you hear me?

Give it a try.

Andrea?

It's Mum, can you hear me?

Andrea?

Are you okay?

Andrea, if you're okay, move the train.

Love, is someone hurting you?

The other one is evil.

Why did you speak with Andrea's voice?

What?

-Why did you speak with Andrea's voice? -No.

I didn't realise it.

That's good.

It means that Mephitis has opened a way for us to talk to Andrea.

Andrea, can you still hear us?

Are you in danger?

Love, sorry, please come back to me.

-No. -Please.

-No, Ada. -I can't go on without you.

-No, Ada, please. -Andrea, please forgive me.

Ada no, please, don't.

I feel so lonely. Please, I'm your mother.

Ada, stop it!

What happened?

-What did you do? -Wait, he said he's not well, Paola.

Never ask a soul to return to Earth, never!

Please.

Andrea no longer belongs to this world.

I just wanted him to forgive me.

He's gone forever.

I'm sorry.

It's better that way.

I miss him so much.

I know.

So, no strange noises, no voices, everything is normal?

Yes.

Thank goodness.

I was afraid that we had opened a passage...

I've been hearing strange things ever since I left your house.

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine. Stop asking me every two seconds.

I just thought that maybe today it would be better

if you got your mind off things. Why don't we go out?

No, don't worry, I have so many things to do here.

Are you sure?

Positive?

Yes.

Ada?

Ada?

All right, I have to go. Let's keep in touch.

You're back, my love.

Yes, Mum.

Just for you.

What are you doing?

I want clouds.

You're right.

When will it be born?

Not long now.

What's his name?

Lorenzo.

I don't like that name.

Mum, come here.

I'm coming, love.

Mum, come.

She's fine.

We'll just keep her here tonight for a few tests.

She has a sprained heel,

so we gave her a brace. She'll have to wear it for a few days.

The baby?

I think it really wants to be born.

Rino...

Ada was very lucky.

A fall like that could have...

She has to rest now.

Stay close to her.

Thanks.

I can't do it.

Here...

Come on, one more step.

Wait here.

Can you make it?

Wait for me here.

What did I tell you?

Never mind...

I'll fix things for you down here, so you don't have to go upstairs.

There's no need.

-You have to take some painkillers. -Yes.

And you have to take them on a full stomach. Eat something.

Don't worry about it, I'll make something quick for myself.

-No, come on, I'll do it. -No, no. Go to work.

Really.

I won't do anything dangerous, don't worry.

-Go! -Okay. I'll be back soon.

Listen, I called a woman,

she can help you out when I'm not around.

You shouldn't have. I'm doing just fine.

If you don't want a stranger around, my mother will come.

I can take care of things, I don't need a nanny.

No, it's better if someone watches over you.

Watches over me?

Did you do that on purpose?

I was just playing with the toy train...

Sorry.

How is he?

He's fine.

May I help you?

Yes, maybe. I don't know anything about these.

I'd like to know if this one is good.

Of course. These have a wide dynamic range,

so you can monitor the child better from a distance.

Is it a boy or a girl?

-What? -Boy or girl?

Boy.

-We don't have much time. -We don't need any help.

For what?

When he comes, I have to go. And I don't want to.

We can all live together.

No. We can't.

-That's not true. -Yes, it is.

I don't want to go back there.

There, where?

The dark.

You won't go there again, I promise you.

Then make him go away.

You must not say that. He is your brother.

He wants to take my place.

That's not right.

He hurts you.

How did the course go?

Why did you send away the lady I called?

I didn't like her.

She said you didn't even let her in.

I don't want anyone's help. I told you that before.

I went to the lake.

Why?

You said you would never go there again.

You said neither of us would ever go back there. It was a promise.

Things change.

What were you thinking?

That I can't think about him anymore.

Otherwise, I can't go on.

I don't have it in me.

I told you not to go back there again.

Do you want me to sleep here?

No.

Please, hang in there, breathe.

Take long breaths.

-Breathe, breathe. -I am breathing, damn it!

Come on, come on!

It's a miracle the baby is alive.

Rino, what happened?

Did she fall again? Did she faint?

Did she overexert herself? Did she lift something heavy?

I don't know.

I woke up, and she was like that.

What's wrong with her?

It sounds absurd,

but it's as if Ada's body is trying to keep the baby.

I know she doesn't want a caesarean.

I can wait a few more days, but then we'll have to do it.

I'll prescribe some more tests. We'll keep her here tonight.

Let's see how it goes.

If everything's okay, tomorrow we'll send her home.

Thank you.

Hey!

What happened?

They don't know, they can't seem to understand.

Will you get me out of here?

No.

What do you mean, no?

I have to go home.

No, you can't go anywhere, they have to do some more tests. Ada, please.

No, I'm fine, I have to go home.

What do you have to do at home? Enough!

Go ahead and say it, if you want to lose the baby.

That's not it, you don't understand.

Why are you in such a hurry to go home?

Stop it.

You're hurting Lorenzo.

You'd never forgive yourself, so stop it.

Even the gynaecologist said so.

All you can do is rest, you can't move.

Mum.

I'm home.

Mum!

Hurry up, come back to me.

Madam!

Where are you going?

No, no, no, no!

I have to go home!

No!

You can't sleep here.

Yes, I can.

I'll be just fine, go.

So you can run away again, right?

No, I don't have to go anywhere.

Look, I understand that you want to be alone.

Now we do as I say.

Andrea?

Andrea?

-Andrea, where are you? -What are you doing?

-Nothing. -I heard you.

Ada, I'm telling you for the last time. Listen carefully.

He's not coming back.

Andrea is not coming back.

-But he is back. He's here. -No. He's not here.

Yes, he is.

No one is here.

You are sick.

Every time I walk past that room, every time I look at your face,

you force me to live through it all again.

He's been back for weeks. He is here with me, every day.

You don't even realise what you're saying, it's madness.

You can't see him because you don't believe it,

because you don't believe me.

No, I don't believe you.

How can I believe you?

You are delusional.

-No. -Yes. Yes.

Andrea? Andrea, where are you?

You are calling a dead person.

You made him go away. Good for you.

-Me? -Yes, you.

We were fine without you.

-"We were"? -Yes, we were.

Who? We who? There's no one here, no one, Ada.

It's just you and me.

Who the hell is here? I want to know who the hell is here.

Ada...

Go away. We don't want you.

Ada, please.

Go away.

You need help.

Go away!

Andrea?

Andrea?

-Where is she? -She's inside.

We have to get her out of there. She's going crazy.

Yes, don't worry, I'll take care of it.

-Please, Paola, I'm begging you. -Wait for me here.

Andrea, what's on your face?

Nothing, Mum.

Hey.

What's wrong?

Drink this.

What is it?

Just water.

I'll open the window a little.

How are you doing?

I don't know.

Listen...

Ever since we called Andrea back,

you've disappeared.

Strange things have happened.

You've become strange.

No, I've just had a lot to do.

Don't lie to me, I know you.

Andrea is back.

He is here.

What?

Andrea is back.

And it's all thanks to you.

On my own, I would never have been able to do it.

You mustn't have prolonged contact with the realm of the dead.

I told you that, remember?

No, he is no longer part of that world. He has returned, he's here.

-Ada, he has not returned. -Yes, he has, he's my boy.

He has not returned.

-He's my boy. -It's not him.

Ada!

I thought at least you would be on my side.

I am on your side.

All I want is for you to be okay.

I don't want his death to define your life.

You, of all people, say that.

You encouraged me to call him.

You weren't supposed to call him. You just had to say goodbye.

Stop it.

Ada, please, get help.

Stop it, stop it!

Andrea?

Do you remember Aunt Paola?

Ada, that's not your son.

I told you he returned.

Please send him away.

Please.

No, don't worry. He won't do anything to you.

Send him away.

Send him away!

Ada... What have you done?

She wanted to keep us apart.

Who are you?

Mum is coming with me.

Open the door!

Ada, open the door!

Ada!

Ada!

Open up, Ada! Please!

Open up, Ada! Please!

Open the door!

Hello, love.

There's no time left.

You have to come with me, now.

Where?

Get up and come with me.

I can't do it,

I can't come with you.

I'll help you.

Ada!

Ada!

Ada!

Ada!

Ada!

Ada!

Let's go.

We have to hurry.

I can't come.

You don't love me anymore.

Of course I do.

Then don't leave me again.

Don't let him out!

You're not my son.

Don't let him out!

Ada!

Yes, yes, yes!

Push, push, push!

Go, go!

Yes, breathe! Breathe, breathe!

-I'm scared. -Come on, love, breathe!

Push hard!

Just breathe.

I'm here. I'm here.

Come on, love, push. Push harder.

Come on, one last time, one last time.

Push!