Original subtitles

Previously on St. elsewhere.

Call a code. Get an O.R. ready. Tell 'em gunshot wound to the chest.

And now you walk back into my life, and it's like you never left.

Who is he anyway? Dr. Fanning, meet John Doe.

It's 10 years, Nance. I mean, I've changed.

So have I. If this were 10 years ago, I'd jump into bed with you.

- This boy's dead and gone. - He's not dead till I say he's dead!

Hello, Mark! Bob!

How are ya? Tonight on St. elsewhere...

I don't think this autopsy's necessary.

I didn't ask you to think. I told you to get the release.

- Do you remember what happened the night you were shot? - I don't remember being shot.

Well, actually, Mark, I'm here for a sex change.

You...

An autopsy could help us understand the cancer better.

He's dead, doctor! That's all I need to know.

At least I don't let my pride get in the way of my patients.

Well, he is my patient, and you're gonna have to wait to get your hands on him.

Listen to me... never mind.

It's my father you did this to! Come on! Hit me back!

- I'm real sorry. - You have no right to tamper with my life.

You are about to destroy yourself,

and you want us all to stand around ringside and cheer!

What are you doing here?

How soon they forget.

No, I mean, in our past life, you were always into your loafers...

And out the door at the stroke of midnight.

Yeah, well, I had this compulsion...

About being home in my own bed by sunrise.

No more? Well, I wear boots now. I told you... I changed.

No, no, no, no. Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you doin'?

I don't know about you, but I have to go to the hospital.

No, stay here and talk to me, huh? Oh, I can't.

I have this patient, Norman wyler...

End-stage renal failure and recurrent ascites.

I get his lab results back this morning.

Why is it we always end up talking about medicine?

Ben, you should see this guy. He looks like

he's been drinking since before prohibition.

He's all bloated up and scared he's gonna die.

Want me to come in and take a look at him?

I asked Dr. Auschlander to look at him.

A free surgery consult never hurt.

Well, why not?

You know, I'm a very big believer...

In greater interdepartmental liaisons.

Oh.

Anyway, it's almost impossible to distinguish this slug's I.H.S.S...

From mitral regurgitation or valvular aortic stenosis.

I mean, he was as big as a blimp and sweating like a pig,

so I checked for a pistol shot femoral pulse, and I was right.

It was I.H.S.S. Would you excuse me, cavanero? Sure.

I want you to assist my 12:30 pericardial window.

I thought Jacobson was assisting you.

Now it's you. Anything wrong with that?

Well, I was supposed to scrub with Dr. Pearle. Fine, Armstrong. Fine.

Just remember... pericardial windows don't grow on trees.

I'll be there, Dr. Craig.

Julia, would you go down to 364 and see what overland needs, please?

Did I hear you say overland? Yeah.

Bob overland? Yeah, that's right.

Well, I'll be.

10:30 on a Saturday night on a crowded street,

guy blows a hole the size of the Callahan tunnel through a kid, nobody sees anything.

How's he doing? Well, we took him off critical this morning.

We're gonna move him out of I.C.U. As soon as they have an available bed.

He's responding that well?

Seventy-two hours to the minute after they brought him into E.R.,

his heart pressures were near normal, colostomy was functioning,

so I took out the "a" line and catheters and started t.P.N.

Lucky kid. Yeah.

Doesn't know who he is.

Dr. Crawford, I.C.U.

Hi, pal. I'm Dr. Westphall.

Hi. Hi, Dr. Chandler.

Take it easy there. Wait a minute.

If you want to get up, use this. Here.

How are you feeling? My chest hurts.

It's gonna take a while. You up to answering some questions?

Sure.

- Do you know the person who shot you? - No.

Do you remember what happened the night you were shot?

I don't even remember being shot.

That's understandable. You've had quite a shock, young man,

but you beat the odds.

When... when will I be able to remember my name?

Well, Dr. Chandler's gonna work with you to get your memory back.

I will get it back then?

It's very likely. You don't know for sure?

No. Can't be a hundred percent sure, but we're gonna do everything we can.

In the meantime, the police have distributed

a description of you throughout the state,

and by this evening it should be all over the country.

We're hoping someone sees it and identifies you.

Wh-what if no one does recognize me a-and my memory never comes back?

James t. Grisanti.

Male, Caucasian.

Fifty-three years old. - Margaret.

Three kids.

Came in two weeks ago for treatment of his colon cancer,

which, after two years, made its way to his liver.

His cheeks and eyes were sunken. His weight was down to...

What, white? Ninety-eight pounds.

And after the usual three-ring circus of c.A. Treatments,

Mr. Grisanti lapsed into a coma.

Today he died.

Any thoughts, any questions, any eulogies or postmortems?

Are you ordering an autopsy? What good would that do?

Well, I'd want to rule out brain metastases.

What do you think about that, white?

An autopsy isn't necessary. The cancer was widely disseminated.

Morrison, would you tell us why doctors get autopsies?

So we're sure the clinical evidence of death corresponds with the pathological.

What's physically apparent is not always the actual cause.

And why must we get a release from the family?

To free ourselves and the hospital from any legal responsibility.

And if you can't get the release, you're a wimp.

I think we ought to do an autopsy on the late Mr. Grisanti.

And since this was your idea, Dr. Wade, would you like to give it a try?

No, thank you.

I got my first one last week on a three-year-old boy with leukemia.

After all he and his parents had gone through,

I felt like I was torturing them by asking for it.

But you got them to agree? Oh, yeah.

But I don't want to do it again unless I absolutely have to.

Okay, then. White, since he was your patient,

you'll be the one to ask the family for the release.

Grisanti died of cancer of the colon.

We don't need any autopsy. Yes, we do.

There's a first time for every resident, white, and this is it.

That is, unless you wimp out on us.

Now, dysart, what about that ruptured spleen?

Come in.

Excuse me. I'm looking for Bob overland.

Oh, my god, it is you!

Hello, Mark. Bob!

How are ya? Hey!

Oh, right away, off the bat, huh? Oh, yeah.

Okay, watch it. Watch it. I remember. Watch this. Watch it.

That I remember. You remember that one?

Nothing changes. Ah, still hate losin', huh?

With a passion. You know, till my dying day,

I'll never forget that first time I stepped in the ring to box you.

You remember that? Freshman year.

Aha! Oh, it's good to see you.

So what are you doing here in Boston?

I thought you were in New York at mother of mercy hospital.

Well, they offered me chief of surgery right here at St. eligius. I grabbed it.

Chief of surgery! Right. How about you?

Well, I'm vice president of advertising with a small company in Connecticut...

Fantastic. For the past three years.

How long has it been since we've seen each other?

Fourteen, 15 years? You know, I meant to keep in touch.

I mean, more than just a Christmas card. Me too. Me too.

But, you know, a year goes by, and you don't even know it.

Mark, tell me... are you and Ellen still married?

Oh, sure. How's Anne?

Anne's terrific. She's a marvelous, marvelous woman.

She sure was a knockout back in those days.

They both were. The two most beautiful ladies at penn, remember?

You devil.

You look great. So do you.

Yeah, but you're the one that's checked into a hospital. Nothing serious, I hope.

Oh, no, no. I feel better than ever.

So, why are you here? Now, don't tell me it's for your heart,

because I'll break every bone in your body.

Well, actually, Mark, I'm here for a sex change.

Yes.

How long have you been drinking, Mr. Wyler?

All my life.

Uh, I mean, heavily.

Oh, I don't know.

Twenty years maybe.

Ever since my wife left me.

Ever occur to you all that drinking might kill you?

Uh, not till now.

Put your arms straight out in front of you, like this.

Okay, now when I let go, keep 'em out.

Okay.

Uh, could you... sure.

Why am I growing breasts?

It's fairly common with liver failure, Mr. Wyler.

Your liver can't break down the estrogen anymore.

It's called gynecomastia.

Oh, is that so? Is that why my feet and hands are so numb?

No, that's something else. That's called polyneuropathy.

Too much alcohol in your nervous system.

I guess I'm in pretty sad shape, huh?

But, uh, you can help me, can't you?

I mean, I, uh... I don't want to die.

Nobody's gonna let you die, but you've gotta play ball.

Well, I'll do anything you say, doc. I'll do anything.

Okay. Hang in there.

What do you think?

I think we need to decompress the portal hypertension.

Why don't I open him up and do a Warren shunt?

To shrink the veins feeding into the liver? Mm-hmm.

I hate to operate unless it's the only answer. So do I.

I mean, I'd much rather spend the afternoon with you at Suffolk downs,

but in this case I think it's appropriate.

I'll let you know. Nancy, I have seen cases like this before.

I know. Years of experience.

I've been looking for an apartment every chance I get.

But you know how it is around here.

By the time I read the classified ads and I shake loose of this place,

the apartment's already been rented.

Well, don't worry about it, Pete.

We hardly know you're there.

Have you seen Myra?

Yeah, there was a message on my service from her this morning,

but I haven't returned the call yet.

You know, you're gonna have to talk to her at some point.

What's the matter?

That's the family I've gotta get the release for the autopsy from.

I don't envy you.

No! He's been through enough!

It's a very simple procedure.

I don't want a bunch of strangers cutting James up!

An autopsy could help us understand the cancer better.

He's dead, doctor! That's all I need to know.

Now let the dead rest in peace.

Ordinarily I would agree with you, but in this particular case...

Two years I watched my husband suffer!

No more. Do you hear me?

No more!

Mrs. Grisanti, please, I know what you've been through...

Let her be, huh? For god's sake.

Mom. Sis, come on. Let's get outta here.

I felt terrible.

I mean, this woman is a basket case,

and I'm sitting there browbeating her, trying to get her to sign a release form.

The first is the worst. You feel like invasion of the body snatchers.

Weaver's only doing this to get at me.

Look, kirk Weaver may be a pain, but he wouldn't put you through this...

Unless he thought it was for the best.

Look, uh, will one of you guys help me out on this thing?

- Sorry, Peter. - Just this one time.

Peter, we've all had to do it.

No, it's just this particular family...

It's never pleasant.

You better just get it over with or go tell Weaver you can't hack it.

I saw Bob overland knock out blackey Boone.

Blackey Boone?

A real pile driver with the face of a leech.

When blackey looked at you, the hair on your neck stood up.

But Bob took him out with a single punch.

I just can't believe it's the same Bob overland.

Did you talk to him about it? Oh, no.

I'm sure that once you sit down with him,

you'll see that he's the same person.

Only he's had to make this complex decision.

It was so obviously humiliating for him to see me that I just...

Is there someone else you can talk to? Is he married?

Call his wife. Or anybody who's close to him.

I don't know. I just don't know.

Mark, don't take it personally.

I'm not taking it personally.

Oh, how's the psychiatry rotation going?

You know, I never knew I'd enjoy it as much as I do.

Right now we're working with an amnesiac. You making any progress?

Well, we're literally trying to reconstruct his memory bit by bit.

It's going slowly, but it's fascinating.

Ben, I've been thinking about Norman wyler.

I think it's too soon for surgery.

Well, it's nice to see you too.

Yeah. I'm gonna put him on spironolactone,

100 milligrams three times a day.

Fluid restriction, 1,200 c.C.'S.

A one-gram sodium diet. Right. With a protein restriction.

Nance, that's not gonna reduce the size of his abdomen.

It's not gonna cure his esophogeal varices. Sure it will.

It'll also help get some of that weight off. Not enough to do any good.

Listen, this guy has been in the hospital four times...

Within the last year on the same dance card.

I mean, conventional medical therapy hasn't exactly been a success for him.

But he never stayed in long enough before to give it a chance.

Well, it's a little late now.

Listen, at the very least, you need a needle aspiration.

He had one on his last admission.

Ascites, low in protein content and no bacteria. Eight months ago.

The guy's much worse since then. Why are you so anxious to cut?

Because the man is sinking fast.

And if you weren't so anxious to prove yourself to Daniel auschlander,

you'd see that I was right.

You have your opinion about this case, and I have mine.

Indeed. At least I don't let my pride get in the way of my patients.

Well, he is my patient, and you're gonna have to wait to get your hands on him.

Listen to me. Never mind.

Oh.

Oh, how do you like the chicken à la St. eligius?

It's not bad.

You mind if we talk while you eat? Good.

Oh, I see you got the newspaper I sent you.

Thanks. Get a chance to read it yet?

Front to back. Oh, good.

Haven't exactly had much else to do.

Well, let me ask you something. Let me see.

Uh, who did we sign a peace treaty with?

- Sounds like a civics exam. - Well, it is, sort of.

It's to test your memory on things you've seen since the accident.

Oh, I get it.

So who did we sign the treaty with?

Israel. Good.

Uh, let's see.

Who's the mayor of Boston?

Uh, Kevin white.

And he warned the city council...

That he may have to lay off more firemen for budget reasons.

For budget reasons.

Very good. Very good.

Okay, now I want you to count backwards from a hundred...

By sevens.

A hundred, 93...

Something wrong? What is this stuff?

Well, the hospital tries to pass it off as pudding.

It tastes strange. What? Don't you like chocolate?

Chocolate? This is chocolate?

I don't remember chocolate.

Well, that's, um... that's okay.

Uh...

Now, look, white, I've been watching you.

As far as I'm concerned, you're the kind that does not belong in medicine.

Because out of the 22 first-year residents who've tried so far,

you're the only one who's failed.

I don't think this autopsy's necessary.

I didn't ask you to think. I told you to get the release.

You go back to that family and get them to sign

the release on the dotted line. Understand?

The family's already left the hospital. How am I supposed to convince them?

Hey, you figure it out. I don't care. But I want it today.

Your husband is about to destroy himself,

and you're telling me that you're happy about it?

I said I'm happy for him.

You must still be in shock. Bob made this decision three years ago.

He's been working with a therapist ever since,

preparing for the first operation.

So, you see, I've had plenty of time to adjust.

Oh, it's just not right. It's not right for Bob.

Now, you know what a conscientious, careful man Bob is.

You know he wouldn't do something like this unless he was absolutely certain.

We'll get him the best psychiatrist in Boston.

Mark, do you remember the senior follies that the fraternity house put on?

When you and Bob and Neil abbott dressed as the shirelles?

Yeah, I remember that.

Yes. Well, we all thought it was a great joke.

And when it was over, you got rid of the dress.

But, you see, it wasn't quite that simple for Bob.

Oh, come on, Anne.

I've got a hundred other stories if you'd like to hear them.

I don't believe this!

Look, I'll talk him out of it, okay?

Mark, Bob is going to have this operation,

and you're gonna have to come to terms with it.

And if you can't, I do not want you to talk to him, no,

because I don't want you to hurt him.

Just leave Bob alone.

Peter?

Um, I'm just about to go off duty,

and I was wondering if you want to have dinner tonight.

Good. Yeah.

What's the matter? You seem awfully preoccupied.

I've got that son of a patient in there,

and I've gotta try and convince him to sign the release for an autopsy.

Oh, I see. No big thing.

What time's dinner?

Uh, 8:30? Okay.

Hey, thanks for coming in to see me again.

You said it was important. Sit down.

Uh, I know this is a difficult time for you.

I want to apologize for this morning.

We were all... hey, you know.

Yeah.

I got to like your father a lot the last few weeks, you know.

I mean, his death is a loss to me too.

Sure. I know.

That's why I think we need to talk about having this autopsy performed.

We settled all that.

I won't put my mother through something like that just now.

Besides, all the arrangements have been made for the funeral.

Nothing has to change.

You could still have a full viewing at the wake. My answer's no.

You know, one of the last things your father said to me...

Before he went into a coma was,

"I hope to hell my children don't have to go through this."

He was very concerned about that, and he had reason to be.

We don't fully understand if and how colon cancer can be transmitted genetically.

What's that mean?

Look, I'm not gonna make you any phony promises either.

I mean, even if you get your mother's consent,

we may not be able to find out everything we need to know...

About adenocarcinoma of the colon...

In time to help you and your sisters.

How come nobody told us before this could be passed on to our family?

The research takes years.

But this autopsy is one important step...

In building the information we need...

So that maybe your children will be free of the fear of getting the disease.

That's why it's important for people like you to cooperate.

There must be some other way to find out if...

I wish there was.

I don't know. My mother... she's not...

She's not strong enough.

Eddie, I come from a very close family too.

If I were in your shoes, I'd want to do what's best for my family in the long run.

I'd want to make every effort to spare them the pain...

And the loss of self-respect your father suffered.

Okay. Get me the forms. I'll get my mother to sign them.

Okay, I'm going to count to four,

and while I'm counting, I want you to relax...

And clear your mind of all thoughts.

One, two, three, four.

Are you relaxed?

Good.

Now I'm gonna say a word,

and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes into your mind.

Home.

What do you think of when I say the word "home"?

- Nothing. - Okay. That's fine.

I want you to imagine your father.

Think of the word "father" and tell me what you see.

Nothing.

Can you describe your father for me?

No, I can't.

That's fine. Can you describe your mother for me?

No.

Just relax.

Clear your mind of all thoughts.

Tell me what you think of when I saw the word "gun."

Gun? Yes.

- Fiscus. - Who is fiscus?

- I don't know. - Can you describe him for me?

Curly dark hair, white coat.

He grabbed a paper with a bloody hand.

My blood.

He read some numbers from the paper.

What else do you remember?

I don't know.

I saw a light...

Like a bright bulb shining in my face.

I remember feeling a strange sensation starting to rise,

but my body was still there on the bed.

Someone was holding onto me, squeezing my heart.

I was hanging from the upper right-hand corner of the ceiling...

Without any strings or anything.

And I saw my body and people around it.

Someone said, "this boy's dead and gone."

And the man with my heart said, "he's not dead till I say he's dead."

That's when you were in the emergency room, but...

What else?

I turned away.

I heard a very familiar voice calling me.

I don't know who it was, but I went inside the light.

This woman... I wanted to hug her,

but she asked me if I was ready.

And I said, "no. I don't think so."

And then I started falling backwards.

Then what?

Then I remember waking up here.

That's all?

Okay. Okay. Relax.

Clear your mind of all thoughts.

Take a deep breath.

Good.

I want you to try and think back,

right before fiscus.

Tell me what came into your mind just before fiscus.

- Sterling. - What is sterling?

I don't know.

Can you describe sterling for me?

I... I can't.

All right. All right. Just relax.

Bob?

What the hell are you doing here?

I came to pick up a urine sample.

Urine? You know, it may come as a shock to you, ehrlich,

but you're a doctor, not a delivery boy!

No wonder you're four steps behind all the surgery residents around here.

You're too busy studying to be an orderly!

I just thought it'd be easier. Easier, huh?

Is that all you're interested in?

Put your nose to the grindstone, ehrlich.

Show some initiative, some leadership potential.

Urine sample. Next thing I know, you'll be taking lunch orders.

I've gotten into adventure running. It's a real kick.

Last weekend, I ran from Lexington to Concord, following Paul revere's trail.

There's nothing like the way your thighs tingle after running long and hard,

especially along a route that's teeming with history.

I'm saving to go to Tibet.

I want to run up one of the himalayans.

They've got these Buddhist monasteries...

Scattered along the way like holiday inns...

Where you can rest, relax...

And really get in touch with your body.

Who knows?

Maybe I'll find shangri-la.

Did you ever see that movie with Ronald colman?

- What? - The movie lost horizon.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, no metastases to the frontal lobe.

What about the temporal lobe?

Nothing there either.

What about the mid brain?

Mm, uh-uh. There's no sign of ventricular compression.

All right. Then check the cerebellum.

It's intact.

The third and fourth ventricles are normal.

What you're saying is he died of cancer of the colon. Is that right?

That's right.

Don't you want to wait for the rest?

I'll read the rest when you've got it finished. I've gotta get up there.

Stop by.

He remembers things people said at a moment when he was clinically dead.

It's incredible.

What if when the cab driver brought him in, fiscus had said,

"no way. Forget it. He's dead"?

Fiscus told me he almost did.

Because by all accounts, the boy was dead, every sense of the word.

Four or five minutes... Nothing, not a beat.

Any moment, they could've given up. But they didn't.

Yeah, but how do you know when someone's dead and not coming back?

Yesterday we had a woman go into arrest,

and for seven minutes we tried bringing her back.

Nothing. Finally we gave up.

But if I had hung in there another minute, another second,

maybe she'd still be alive too.

I mean, how do you know? When do you know for sure?

Chandler, you use everything you've got...

Talent, technology, education, instinct,

blind luck, prayer.

You give it your best shot, pal.

You hope for the best. It's all you can do.

Yeah.

I guess for now, I should be more concerned about finding out who John Doe really is.

Well, looks to me like you got a pretty good start.

If I can only figure out what the hell "sterling" means.

Come in.

You wanted to see me, Dr. Auschlander?

Yes, Nancy. Please sit down. That's all right.

- Hi. - Hello.

We've just been discussing Norman wyler.

I think there's a real danger Mr. Wyler will go into hepatorenal coma.

Dr. Samuels has suggested a needle aspiration and a venogram.

Whatever you think best.

We can draw off 200 c.C.'S of the ascitic fluid,

and that way at least we'll have a clearer idea of whether or not to operate.

- I understand. - It's a relatively simple procedure.

You can do it yourself. I'd be delighted to show you how.

I think I can manage. But thank you.

I hope you don't think I'm meddling.

I appreciate your getting involved in this case, Ben.

Actually, it comes as Dr. Paxton's suggestion.

And from what I've seen, she's done an excellent job with this particular patient.

It's just that sometimes you get too close to a case,

lose perspective.

It happens to me. It happens to all of us.

Will that be all, Dr. Auschlander?

I'll see you down in nuclear medicine at 5:00, right?

Oh, Mrs. Petrie's liver scan should be ready by then.

Is there something going on between you two?

At this point, I'm not sure.

So you got that release. How'd you finally manage it?

I lied through my teeth. Well, sometimes we have to do things we don't want to.

Don't tell me that's life.

Chandler, lieutenant Gerard just called. They found John Doe's parents.

Oh, terrific! They're on their way over from stock bridge.

Sterling... was that the last name? Was that it?

I don't know. They haven't made that connection yet. Thanks.

Oh, excuse me.

No, Alfred, you can't have any more meperidine.

Any more meperidine, you won't be able to feel the end of your nose.

Go on back to your room.

Dr. White!

White, do you know the agony you caused, huh?

Do you know how hard it was convincing my mother to let you?

I had to force her to sign, my sisters and I.

We were at my uncle's funeral home. We saw what they did to him!

The top of his head was sawed off!

The skin on his face had been pulled off his skull.

My mother took one look, and she cried...

She cried so hard, she collapsed in the middle of the funeral home!

You cut out my father's brain! And for what?

You have no right to treat people this way.

It's my father you did this to. My father! Come on, bastard!

Come on! Hit me back! Come on!

I'm real sorry.

You doctors, you got no guts.

Mark, I was hoping you'd come back.

There's something I want to talk to you about.

Well, fine. Sit down.

I want to postpone your operation.

Why?

I want to review your case personally...

With Dr. Sakota and your psychiatrist,

and I just want to be absolutely sure...

That this operation is your only option.

My only option.

Mark, sit down. I've gotta talk to you.

Please sit down.

Mark, I want you to know that I really appreciate your concern.

I really do. And I want you to know something else here.

I didn't reach this decision overnight.

I... I didn't toss it off lightly after a couple of drinks.

No, no. I'm sure you feel that you've considered everything very carefully.

It's just that I'm not convinced that your doctors have advised you correctly.

I've been thinking about having this operation since...

God, it seems like forever.

Anne told me way back in college you knew.

Oh, even before that.

We were friends. Close friends.

We shared the same room for four years. Yes.

I mean, it's just impossible that I

wouldn't know that something was the matter.

Don't you think I wanted to tell you?

Don't you think I started to tell you a hundred times?

But I knew... I knew if I told you...

That our friendship would be shattered,

and I valued your friendship more than telling you the truth.

Now, Mark, you remember the time... I remember everything!

I remember the walks around the quads at midnight, arguing philosophy.

I remember the first time we saw Ellen and Anne.

Hell, I remember the damn license plate's number...

On the red convertible that we bought together...

And how when we got the top down, we never could get the damn thing back up again!

I had to drive, and you held the umbrella over my head.

And all it ever does in Philly is rain. Yeah, that's right.

And you're trying to tell me now that those memories are a lie?

Every gesture and look had a different meaning?

Nothing's changed, Mark.

I've just become more fully aware of who I really am.

It's taken me years to stop trying to be something I'm not.

Years of trying to be the best athlete,

dating the most beautiful ladies,

merely to compensate for my own strange feelings I have inside.

You admit they're abnormal? Abnormal or not,

it's what I feel inside, Mark.

And finally... I have enough courage to do something about it.

Not in my hospital, you're not. You can't do that to me.

Well, as chief of surgery, I can halt any procedure that I deem unsuitable.

You have no right to tamper with my life.

I am trying to help you, damn it!

The only help I want is your support and your understanding.

You want my approval? You are about to destroy yourself,

and you want us all to stand around ringside and cheer!

Well, you may have convinced your wife, but not me, buddy.

I know you too well to agree to anything so disgusting!

Bob overland is gone. He's dead.

No, no, no. I know Bob overland,

and I'm gonna save him.

Hey, Dr. Weaver, hold on a second.

Yeah?

There was no cancer in Mr. Grisanti's brain.

Who? James t. Grisanti.

We performed the autopsy on him. I was right.

The cancer was disseminated in his body, but the brain was clear.

Well, good for you, white. Feels great, doesn't it?

We opened him up for nothing.

It wasn't necessarily for nothing. We know more now than we did before, right?

And I lied. Wasn't the first time, white.

What I did to those people today...

What you made me do to those people today... was cruel.

I've been trying to rationalize it all day in my head, but I can't.

I raped those people is what I did.

I feel like I was raped myself.

Look, white, those are the rules of the game.

If you don't like it, don't play.

I'm not feeling particularly good about myself right now, if you know what I mean.

But one thing I know for sure...

No matter how rotten I think I am sometimes,

I know I'll never be as rotten as you are.

I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget rounds, huh?

His parents are gonna be here any minute,

hoping for a real breakthrough.

Whose parents? John Doe.

Which John Doe? We've got 15 John does and five janes.

Yeah. Forget it.

Hey, what are you getting so excited about?

Yeah, you're right. You know, I'm more nervous than he is.

I'm going over to the nurses' station, see if they're there. I'll see you later.

What do you say, Phil? How're you doing, Ben?

Listen, I know a great Russian-French restaurant down on boylston.

Do you want to go tonight? You're remarkable, Ben.

Now what? What's wrong? Oh, nothing. Everything's just perfect.

You're still upset because I went to auschlander.

If you believe a patient of mine needs surgery,

you can go over my head any time you want.

Go to the surgeon general of the United States for all I care.

But don't you ever talk to me or about me in that condescending way.

What? What did I say?

"It's a very simple procedure. I'll be happy to show you how to do it."

"From what I've seen, Daniel, she's doing an

excellent job with this particular patient."

It's just like when you had that duplex on second Avenue and St. Mark's place...

Second Avenue in New York? That was 12 years ago. I don't care how long ago.

You're still mad about something that happened 12 years ago?

My point is you have not changed one bit.

Oh, come on, Nance. I think you're overreacting.

Let's get this straight. I am not one of your bimbos.

Oh, here we go. I am not one of your harem.

If you can't talk to me like a person, don't talk to me.

You're gonna blame me for your own insecurities, right?

I came to this town for one reason only...

To learn from Daniel auschlander.

I do not... repeat, do not... want you in my life.

Nancy, where are you going? I have a patient.

You do not. Yes, I do.

Nance... don't you yank at me!

Oh, well, it's not my fault you can't take the pressure.

Oh, you are so smug. Don't touch me!

Nancy, will you come back here. Hey, will you shut up!

Who are you telling to shut up?

Why don't you just butt out! Yell at him! You're such a barbarian!

Oh, and you're perfect, right? Miss perfect!

St. Nancy of Nairobi.

How do I look? Just fine.

Now, remember what we talked about,

and don't expect to recognize them right away.

Okay, okay. Remember it takes time, so don't be nervous.

That's easy for you to say, Dr. Chandler.

Could you show them in now, please?

Mr. and Mrs. Kotlarz, he's ready to see you.

Hello.

Hello.

He's not our son.

Patrick's been gone for two years.

We thought that...

The description the police gave us sounded so much like Patrick.

We've been hoping for so long.

I'm-I'm very sorry.

I'm sorry.

They're not my parents.

- No. - Doesn't matter.

Dr. Chandler,

who am I?

I don't know.

Life used to be so much easier to follow.

A man was a man; A woman was a woman.

Except for uncle miltie on Tuesday nights.

I never found him to be the least bit amusing.

Oh, come on, Mark. Did you see some like it hot?

Are you gonna tell me that Jack lemmon and Tony Curtis weren't funny?

I never so much as smiled. Marilyn Monroe was the best thing in it.

At least she was normal. And look what happened to her.

Well, I think the world's a better place today. Why?

Well, you know, the past is never actually as good as you really think it was.

You wouldn't say that if you knew my father.

My father was the kind of man that the world needs again.

I mean, he gave things order. Life made sense.

My father didn't know anything about this homosexual,

transsexual, asexual, unisexual crap.

It is more confusing now, but I think people are happier.

They don't have to fit into roles they can't conform to.

Okay, tell me... what if your son came to you and said,

"mom, the next time you see me, I'm gonna be a woman"?

Oh, come on, Mark. No, I'm serious. Answer me.

Well, I'd be shocked. Damn right.

At first. But I love my son, and I think he's a pretty nice human being,

and if he really felt in his heart of hearts that that would make him happier,

I hope I'd find the strength to not stand in his way.

Typical. How about you, Don?

Well, a couple months ago, I was walking down congress street,

and two young nuns were walking toward me.

At first, I didn't pay any attention at all,

but just as they were about to pass me, I noticed that they were both men.

I admit it. I admit it. It threw me for a loop.

You know, there's a difference between transsexuals and transvestites,

even ones with such catholic tastes.

I'm not so sure, Helen.

I mean, we have to get back to traditional male-female role models.

Oh, dear. If that means I have to return...

To doing the housework and cleaning all by myself,

I'd rather armageddon struck right now.

You know, in a way, it's all our fault.

- Whose fault? - The medical profession.

We figured out how to safely and simply alter a person's sex.

Oh, please, Donald. I'm feeling bad enough as it is.

I'm gonna go home.

Come on, Mark. Cheer up.

It's not as bad as all that, you know.

I guess so.

I shouldn't let Bob's operation bother me.

It's his life, you know, after all. Yeah, I know.

But it makes you wary about trusting people,

about believing in certain principles.

Before you know it, the people betray you,

and the principles fade away.

Well, I'm not gonna give up. Good night.

Good night, Mark.

Take it easy, pal.

So much for cheering him up.

You're buying, right?

I think we better get back to more traditional male-female role models.