Original subtitles

This is it, Lise. They're going to make you an actual Disney princess.

If that's what you really want.

Let's see. A lifetime of competition and anxiety as me versus being totally taken

care of.

Tough choice. Tough choice.

Growl.

I want to be a princess.

You've got the job.

First step's a killer.

It is I, Loki, making another contractually obligated appearance.

Though my powers are no match for the accountants at Disney Business Affairs.

Merchandising. So beneath me.

Who's that?

Oh, thank heavens.

Snow White?

Close enough.

I poisoned her.

Join the club.

Join us.

Come on.

Villains are fun.

Besides, Disney gets rid of princesses as soon as they're 20.

It's a fact.

I was 19 and three quarters.

Union! And we villains get to sing diabolical tunes, which become drag show

favorites.

Who wants to be a pretty girl in a fancy dress when you could be an octopus who

makes a mess?

That Sam Prince Charming, he's such a schnook.

Ladies prefer a man with a hook.

Not the face!

Not the face!

Thank you!

You don't get an invitation, so create a contact. Rachel!

Seems a little extreme. When your brother wrecks your toys, you can slice

the heads of boys.

Cool. But don't you villains always die?

Depressing kid.

It beats living happily ever after with some boring guy!

Bring on the princes!

We are predictable, dull as linen We seem to kiss unconscious women Same

white teeth, same fluffy hair Big strapping chest, but nothing up there We

seem super handsome, but here are the facts When we come on screen, kids leave

to get snacks We'll screw up the world's affairs. You stay home and crank out

heirs. Life with me will not be easy.

You're better off with Doc and Sneezy.

Aren't you forgetting someone?

And don't say narcissistic.

Sorry, Mickey. Sorry, Mickey. Don't hurt us. Sorry, Mickey. Won't happen again.

Have you lost weight?

Thank you.