Original subtitles

Mum? Mum?

Mum?

Yeah?

Where are my shoes?

They're in the shoe basket, darling. They're always in the shoe basket.

Mummy, would you read this to me?

I can't right now, my darling,

cause I've got to get your brother ready for school.

But your dad will be here any minute. He'll read to you, won't he?

I bet he's not coming.

No, don't say that. He wouldn't do that. And do you know how I know?

Because if he wasn't coming, he'd have text me.

That's what responsible people do, okay?

You remember that.

It's Dad.

He's being responsible.

Shit.

Oh!

Ah, Miss Jay.

If this is about my last exam, I know.

I had a match the night before in Newcastle.

Ah, yes, your football thing.

No, you've heard of the internship at McMillan and Parkes?

It's all Oliver talks about. He's convinced he's going to get it.

Yes. Well, I've encouraged them to meet you.

Assuming you're interested.

I'll send you the details.

See you tomorrow, 11:00 a.m. sharp.

Shit.

- Hurry up. - Yeah, yeah.

- Heard you the first few times there. - Oh, no.

I think it's from the landlord.

Oh, yeah? That's fun.

How can anything from that gobshite be fun, you curdled yogurt?

I don't know. Maybe it's a fucking party invitation, you burnt ham.

- Here. - What?

- Shit. - Shit.

Shit.

- I think taking some time apart is good. - Yeah, definitely.

Wait, you put your French PhD in your bio?

Oui. It's a dating profile. I've gotta sell myself.

Well, what did you put?

Under interests you put skiing? You've never skied in your life.

Yeah, but I'm interested in it.

All right, shall we activate?

- I just matched with you. - Yeah, same.

- Shit. - Shit.

- Hey. - That was fast.

Almost didn't have time to put my trousers on.

I-I'm glad you did.

Wait, you play for Richmond, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

But you also deliver food?

Welcome to second division women's football.

Shit.

New year, new you, right?

But it isn't enough to want to be a better version of yourself.

If you want to open a new pathway to life,

you have to act, and it all starts with changing your behavior.

And to do that, you just need three profound words that will change your life.

Say "yes" more.

Try it now.

- Yes. - Yes.

Say again.

- "Yes." - Yes.

Yes, yes, yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

Shit.

Shoot.

Good morning, Coach.

Did you have a good weekend?

- Yes. - Ooh!

Sounds like it was a doozy, huh?

- Yes. - Mmm.

What's that?

Oh. Uh, yeah that.

Um, just a little bit of self-motivation.

You okay with it in here?

- Yes. - Mmm. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, it is a little corny though, isn't it?

- Yes. Oh, I mean no. - Yeah.

Well, I didn't know where to hang it so I just put it up there for now.

But... yeah. I don't know.

Morning, fam.

Morning, Coach.

Good morning, Coach.

You, uh, get a lot of sleep this weekend?

Is that a new shirt?

I have blue eyes now.

- Oh. - Oh.

Uh-huh.

Oh, no. They popped out.

- What happened? - My lens popped out.

- Oh, God. - I don't know where it is.

- We'll find it. - Help.

I don't know how.

Oh.

You're trying to tell us that Dani Rojas wants to leave Richmond?

As his agent, it's my duty to inform you he is very unhappy here.

Ah, the famously maudlin Dani Rojas?

I literally watch him cartwheel from his car into this building.

Well, sometimes, it's the most joyful ones you have to worry about.

- Look at the Joker. - Not a real person.

Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this,

but a big club has come in with a big offer for Dani.

We're talking buy a private island and do weird shit on it kind of money.

Which club?

- Uh... - No one's approached us for Dani.

And if they came to you first, that would be hugely inappropriate.

Which is why I can't tell you who it was.

Loose lips sink transfers.

Now, I'm not saying he won't show up for training tomorrow.

But if he didn't...

I'd hate for any awkward, uh,

"Rojas weighing options" headlines to pop up.

- Hmm. Threat noted. - No, no, no. Not a threat.

Just a gentle premonition.

Hmm.

Look, I might be able to talk Dani down from the ledge

if we can make him feel seen.

And then...

if Roy Kent's new deal lands where it should...

Oh.

that would send a real message about loyalty.

So now we're getting to it.

This isn't about Dani.

You're trying to bully us into overpaying your other Richmond client, Roy.

Two birds, one pay bump.

Hmm.

Oh! Gotta take this one.

- Mmm. - Laters, traitors.

Do I hear the sounds of pounds?

- I can't stand him. - Neither can I.

Hey, you ever used one of these dating sites, old buddy?

Old?

I-I'm sorry. I mean, just, buddy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, um, I downloaded every single one of them after Zelda's boat party.

Hmm. Oh, yeah. How was that?

- The party? - Yeah.

It brought forth complete ego death and yet total resurrection.

Yep, that's exactly how I feel after I eat Wingstop.

Hey, Coach, you got a go-to Wingstop flavor?

Yes.

Oh, good.

Will you read this to me?

- Yes. - Archie!

Archie, no, not in here, not in... I am so... I am very sorry.

- It's all right. - My, um,

F-U-C-K-I-N apostrophe S-H-I-T-B-A-G of an E-X

has left me in the lurch again because he's...

a fucking wanker.

So, I've had to bring him in.

I hope that's okay. Is that all right?

Yes.

- Okay, great. - Yeah, of course.

I appreciate it. Thank you.

That's, um, really kind of you. Thanks.

- "Some pig." - "Some pig"?

No, that says "believe." Believe.

I'm reading him Charlotte's Web.

He's only four. He's... he's not quite reading yet, bless him.

I was reading when I was two.

You look like a husky.

Right, come on.

Not every sign says, "some pig", okay?

Did he just call me fat?

No, Coach, not at all. It...

What is wrong with this thing?

Hey, Gemma.

Hi, uh, I'm sorry to even ask this.

I'm up for an internship at this fancy law firm.

Kind of a big deal.

Anyway, I have an interview tomorrow but it means I'd be late for practice.

- Would it be okay if... - Yes.

Uh, Coach, are you saying you're okay with Gemma being late for practice tomorrow?

Yes.

Really?

Yeah. If Coach is cool, we're cool.

- Right? - So cool.

- Amazing. - Mmm.

Thank you.

Good luck.

- New sign? - Yes.

Still not sure that's the right place for it though, you know?

Hmm.

Coach Roy!

Oh, that's a nice bit of kit there.

Cheers.

Good that you're taking care of yourself. Always so important.

Otherwise, what are we?

I don't know.

Beasts, feral beasts.

Great.

What the fuck happened to this thing?

None of your business.

He's here.

He's there, he's every-fucking-where on a jazzy.

On a jazzy! How's the knee?

What do you want?

Yeah, no. Straight to business, love it.

So, I was upstairs with the brass, played an absolute blinder.

We are gonna get whatever you want next season.

- Okay. - You want more money? I got ya.

You want use of a PJ? I got ya.

You want an assistant to wax your gooch?

I have got you.

Why don't you have any chairs in here?

So people don't fucking stay.

You're hilarious.

Sorry to interrupt.

Hello, love.

I'm out. I'll speak to you soon, handsome.

He's kind of a dick, you know?

- Oh, I know. - Then why do you work with him?

He's a dick, so I don't have to be.

Well, you can be a dick.

Yeah, but that's different.

- What do you need? - It's official.

Chelsea wants to put you on their wall of legends.

Sounds like a pretty big honor.

Sounds like a fucking nightmare.

Roy, I have a lot going on.

Can we just skip the part where you pretend

a room full of people celebrating you is the worst fucking thing in the world?

But it is.

It...

You are hilarious, aren't you?

- What do you want from me? - I don't know, maybe a thank you?

All right. Thank you for making a nightmare.

Wow. What about, "I'll be there"?

Hello, you.

Sorry to interrupt.

- Hi. - Hi.

Uh, Erin, this is Keeley Jones, our head of marketing and nightmares.

Hello.

- We-We met in the hospital. - Yeah.

Not that you'll remember, of course.

Oh, no, I was off my nut.

Yeah.

I'm gonna leave you guys. Here's your nightmare.

If you have any questions, give me a shout, yeah?

- It's lovely to see you. - Bye.

Cheers, Keeley.

- Hello. - Hello.

Thank you for making a house call.

- I didn't. It's an office. - Hmm.

How's the knee?

Hmm?

- Better now. - Good.

What the fuck was her problem?

If what Derrick says is true, we're in a bit of a pickle.

Oh, Leslie, please, why would we ever believe him?

That man is full of shit.

Who is full of shit? I hate him already.

Zelda.

- What a nice surprise. - Yeah. Surprises are wonderful.

You know, surprise visits, surprise parties,

surprise non-visits at parties.

Right, I am so sorry that I missed your boat party.

I had every intention of being there.

No, apologize to your team, maybe.

I mean, I think they were heartbroken you jilted them.

They were. But you never have to apologize to me.

It's water under the party boat under the bridge,

and to prove it, I've just stopped by actually

to give you and Keeley your swag bags.

- Oh, my God. Thank you so much. - Here.

Your team left all theirs behind too, so I donated them all to a women's shelter.

- Yeah. - Oh, right.

Jalapeño-infused cognac.

Yes, it's nicey and spicy.

A marble spatula.

I will not prepare crab cakes without one of those now.

Women in the shelter must have been... thrilled.

Yeah, they were.

Well, Julie and I both loved our bags.

Good. Good, yeah,

there was different stuff in the men's bags and the women's, right?

Yes.

Oh, no, that was in all the bags.

Yes, we both got one of those,

but we can't use it unfortunately because we no longer have a dog.

Uh...

Well, thank you.

- Good. - Excellent.

Actually, I was... I was going to

talk to you about me coming on in a professional capacity.

You know, offering my services, pro bono, of course.

Um, I don't know, maybe I can help out with that person that is a piece of shit.

Well, uh, it would appear we have an unscrupulous agent...

- Ugh. - In our midst.

My favorite snack.

Tell me all about it.

Okay.

Gemma, we cannot teach 2v1 defending if you keep scoring on your two defenders.

Let's do 3v1 then.

No, we're not gonna...

Yes. Okay, let's... 3v1.

Let's do that, then. Good.

Defenders, three lines.

What are three words you would use to describe me?

You got any ideas, Arch?

Strong.

Yeah, I got you.

Okay, strong.

You got two more, bud?

Poopy butts.

That is indeed two more words,

and while not exactly what I'm looking for,

I am sincerely impressed.

- That's Ted tax. All right. - Yes.

I'll check you later, man. Thanks for the help.

Coach, can I train barefoot today?

I think it might help, you know, like when runners train on sand.

- Yes. - Coach, can I wear a blindfold?

I wanna be able to sense the ball instead of having to see it.

Yes.

Coach, should I stand Niamh's position

- to show her how it's actually done? - Yes.

Take a fucking day off, for your own sake.

Hey, Coach, you got a sec?

Yes.

So, look, I appreciate everything I see you doing today,

but I just want to remind you it's okay to say no.

Heck, if human beings never said "no," we'd all have a time-share in Maui

and be members of the Church of Latter-day Saints, you know?

Or be stuck in a 28-year gym membership, which I am.

I am just trying to open a new pathway to life...

- Mm-hmm. - Or, uh, coaching or whatever.

I hear ya. I just think you might need a bit more than "yes," you know what I mean?

- No. - Oh, okay.

Well, uh, back in college,

when, you know, Beard and I were, uh, playing football.

You know, the kind you play with your hands with the whole... that thing.

You know, the spikes and all that, and the head trauma.

Uh, we had this real avant-garde head coach.

I mean, this fellow loved thinking outside the bun.

A-And that's a famous slogan from a Taco Bell commercial

in the early 21st century and something he'd totally say, right?

Old Scooter Bollards.

Anyways, he thought our team's play style was a little too rigid

and he wanted us to be more open, so you know what he did?

Humiliated you all in front of each other?

He had the whole team take an improv comedy class.

Oh, so the same thing.

And it was in that improv class

that Coach and I learned a very specific, powerful phrase that goes like...

"Yes and", baby.

What is "Yes and baby"?

Well, the "baby" is just... not... it's not really part of it.

- Just my trademark flourish. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, but the idea behind it is that

whatever someone throws at you, you say yes to it.

You accept it, like you've been doing out here today.

But then if you want to add to it, you say "and," right?

So the idea is that "yes" opens up the door,

but "and," well, that allows people to walk right on through it.

The art of collaboration, Sun Tzu's hidden manuscript.

Mmm.

Coach, can we have a water break?

Yes, and...

last five back on the pitch have to run sprints.

Fuck me.

- I love "Yes and baby." - Mm-hmm.

You know, Coach, you can follow your own advice

and go "and" whatever it is your mind's been saying yes to today.

Y'all okay with that?

Yes, and we will be fine.

Okay. All right, have at it.

I got my friend to call my gym and tell them I was dead.

They still charged me for six months, but it did work.

I love that for you.

That fucking Chelsea thing's gonna happen.

Keeley's got it all set up.

She's being right moody about it though.

I mean, it's my fucking thing, innit?

Like, her job is handle all the details.

I'm the one that has to make a dumb fucking speech.

And I'm not even being difficult about it.

And she knows it's not exactly my favorite sort of thing to do,

but I am doing it.

She's making it so much harder than it needs to be.

Also, has she done something different with her hair?

It's like, she's not doing me a fucking favor.

- It's her job... - Okay.

So these are going to need changing. Every day.

And I think it's time we let the scooter go.

Only crutches from now on.

Oh.

But I love Black Beauty.

I can give her a good home.

Black Beauty is a boy.

I don't buy it.

Come in.

- Hey, Keeley. - Hi, Ted.

- Hello, Trixiebelle. - What's going on?

Well, uh, this is a little bit awkward,

but, uh, my New Year's resolution was to ask someone out on a date, and...

Oh, Ted, Ted. I'm flattered, but I think that...

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. - Oh. No.

No, no. I... I just came in for a little advice.

Oh.

- Ooh, can you imagine? - Ooh, I mean, we're coworkers.

That wouldn't be appropriate, you know.

Even though it does have a tendency to happen a lot around here, don't it?

Yeah, it does.

I... I'm not sure I'm the best person to be giving dating advice right now.

Well, you know, I'm just looking for a little help

setting up my profile on bantr.

- Ooh. - I-I can't get past one of the questions.

Which one?

The first one.

A-ha.

- I would love to help. - Great.

You wanna get cozy on the couch?

- Yes, ma'am. Yeah. - Yeah.

- Okay. Uh, here you go. - Thank you.

- Yeah. - Okay.

"Describe yourself in three words."

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so right there, right off the bat.

You know, anything that pops in my head just feels, uh, obnoxious,

like I'm tooting my own horn.

Sure, like you're riding the self-centered express?

Exactly, and it's going, "Toot, toot, all aboard.

Next stop, Me-York City."

And it's just, it feels like I'm bragging, and I don't know.

No, I get it. Why don't we come back to that one?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, let's start with something easier.

- Okay. - Are you currently employed?

- No. - Yeah...

Ted, you're a coach!

Yeah, but I always felt that if you do what you love,

you never work a day in your life, so...

That's really lovely.

- But I think we should go with "Yes." - You're the expert.

- Height? - 6'1" or 900 centimeters, I don't know.

- Location? - I mean, that changes all the time.

I'd hate to mislead anyone.

- Can you just put "Here"? - Pronouns?

I'm pronouns, pro-verbs, pro anything that helps you get your point across.

- Sexual orientation? - Mmm.

Probably the three standard positions.

Ethnicity?

White as heck.

But I have been told by buddies that I played ball with back in college

that I have a standing invite to the cookout.

- Education level. - Mmm. Ongoing.

"Company/industry."

I've never seen Industry,

but I saw a great production of Company once.

Really knocked my socks off, and it's tough to beat Sondheim.

Do you want or have children?

I do have a child. His name is Henry.

He is 12, and yes, I do want him.

Do you smoke, drink, or do drugs?

Well, I've smoked cigarettes four times in my life,

- dipped tobacco once. - Oh.

Uh, I do drink,

and the only drugs I've done have come from the Earth,

although they have afforded me the opportunity to go well beyond it.

- Zodiac sign? - I guess my sign would say,

"You must see this movie."

Pet peeves?

That we get to choose them and they don't have a say in the matter, I guess.

- Typical Sunday? - Similar to a Good Friday,

but without anybody getting murdered by the government.

- My most controversial opinion? - Nice try.

The one thing you should know about me is?

That I am more than one thing.

Believe it or not, I...

♪ I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be? ♪

♪ Believe it or not, it's just... ♪

- Do you like to run? - Only when being chased.

What is your attachment style?

USB-C.

Three favorite emojis are?

Fingers crossed.

Uh, this guy right here.

And probably this guy.

The world would be better with more?

Female US presidents.

Best piece of advice you ever received?

- Duck. - The quickest way to my heart.

Directly through my sternum. You know, just, bam.

Are you more rational or emotional?

Oh, definitely rational.

Okay.

Hey, this is supposed to be fun, Ted.

- It is fun. I'm sorry, but... - Okay.

- I am just, like... - Whoa.

Come on, having a good time.

This is great.

I really appreciate your help.

You sure you can pull this off?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as there's no surprises,

we just got to stay cool, calm and collected.

- Mm-hmm. - All right?

- Sure. - Let's rock.

Oh, shit, shit, shit, I've gotta have an assistant.

- What? Oh, no. No, no, no. - Be my assistant. Gotta be American.

DT Sports, talk to me.

Hello?

Mr. Tarp, it's Crystal.

Crystal Christopher.

Calling from Chicago Fire FC. How are you today, sir?

It's USA... home of the dollar sign. I am listening.

So, I'm calling from the office of our player recruitment officer...

Call me, uh, Dolly.

Dolly Parton... berg.

Please hold.

Do some hold music. Hold it.

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

Please continue to hold.

Your call is important to us.

One of our operators will be with you as soon as possible.

Derrick Tarp, you son of a bitch.

I haven't heard your name since the Panama Papers came out.

How ya doin'?

Dolly Partonberg?

It's been ages, sugar tits.

I've missed you.

Okay, here's the 411, you cocksucker.

What's it gonna take to get Dani Rojas in the Windy City next year?

We know he's under contract to...

What is it? Uh, AFC Richfield?

- Richmond. - Oh, yeah, Richmond.

Duh, Dolly, that's next to Wimpleton, right?

Well, I'm sure Dani would love to hear what you have to say.

Fuck yeah, bro.

But, hey, we don't want to step on anyone's toes.

So, you know, if there's any other teams

in the, uh, English League that are after him, you know,

we're not going to get in the way.

You don't know anybody over here, I take it?

Just Guy Ritchie.

His work, I mean.

'Cause you should know we did get an offer from Newcastle.

I fucking knew it.

Newcastle?

Hey, I thought you guys only had old castles over there.

Yeah, no, they're like the Chicago

- of the northeast. - Okay, talk later. Okay, bye.

Wait, we only just started talking. What are you talking...

God.

Hey. The director of football at Newcastle used to be at City,

and he plays clarinet

for the Directors of Beboperations.

Excellent, Leslie.

- Leslie, how's it swinging, Daddy-o? - Actually, Vinai...

I'm-I'm with some colleagues. This is a work call.

Apologies for my liberal use of jazz speak.

Of course. How can I help you?

Vinai? Hello, there.

Did you reach out to Dani Rojas's agent without consulting us first?

I would never do such a thing, and I resent the insinuation.

Wow. Derrick Tarp wasn't insinuating...

I don't have to do this voice anymore.

Derrick Tarp wasn't insinuating, he was practically just declaring.

Then he's a liar, a liar.

I will report him to the FA immediately.

Thanks, cool cat. That's a relief.

Meow.

Wow. Great work, guys.

All right, let's move on to our seven a side.

First 11 and subs. Let's go.

And, Gemma, I need you to focus on the left wing.

You practically ignored it in the last match.

Got it?

Got it.

Coach, can I get in on this?

Yes.

And remember, you know what to do.

So don't overthink it.

Be quick, don't hurry, and attack without hesitation.

- Got it? - Absolutely, Coach.

All right. Prove it.

All right, play from Boots.

Get ready.

Guys! Guys!

Go on then.

Whoa! Whoa!

Nice.

Oi. You're making me look bad. Easy.

Easy. That was good though.

Shannon... pass was a little late, but perfect decision.

Julia in for Shannon.

Nice job.

"And I think it'd be real neat if I found a gal who likes show tunes.

But not all of them, of course.

Only the bangers, and"...

Um, then we reached the character limit that you can use

to keep describing your ideal partner.

Did you spell show tunes with one word?

Uh, yeah, I did.

Shoot.

You know what, I'm starting to think I may skew a bit loquacious.

I think you could make some trims.

Then I shall take the time to write a shorter letter.

Great.

And when you're done, all that's left is to describe yourself in three words.

Click activate.

And off you go.

Great.

Thank you, Keeley. I really appreciate your help.

Oh, it's been my pleasure.

- Well, let me get out of your hair. - Okay.

Oh, Ted, remember, when you're thinking about those three words,

loving yourself isn't the same as bragging about yourself.

Hmm.

Hopeful, resilient and kind.

I mean...

those are the perfect words to describe you.

No, I was describing you.

Keep your head up, Keeley, and your heart open.

Shitty men.

Sometimes I pity them.

- Why? - Because they're scorpions.

They're just scorpions who invite innocent, gullible frogs

to take them across the river, and then they just sting them anyway.

And they all drown, you know.

'Cause that's what they do, the dumb pricks.

Bless 'em.

They're scorpions.

Are we the frogs in this parable?

Until we realize we don't have to be.

Well, I would rather build a bridge than have to carry a scorpion.

Hmm.

Hmm. That's round, isn't it?

- Mmm. Yeah. - Ooh, my nose.

- It worked! - What worked?

Just got this from Derrick.

"On second thought, don't worry about Dani.

He's happier than he looks, and Roy won't be a problem."

Success!

And fast!

That's what we freaking do. Da Bears.

I don't know what that means.

But Zelda Southport,

I hereby offer you the official title of Special Adviser here at AFC Richmond.

Whoa.

Oh, you can call me whatever you want, Rebecca Welton.

You keep building those bridges, and I'll keep guarding them.

Wow... this is great news.

What news?

Zelda has just accepted an official role here at the club.

That's amazing! Welcome!

Are you guys okay?

It's the jalapeño, isn't it? Yeah.

It's so strong.

- Quite nice. - It's painful!

- I'm in pain. - Oh no.

- Gotta get it out... - Okay.

If I drink some more it might help actually.

Yeah, let's drink some more. Mmm.

No, no, no. It's worse.

Oh.

- You should have some. It's good. - Have some.

No.

This is nice, isn't it?

Just the three of us.

- You can go now. - Absolutely.

- Right, well, my work here is done. - Thank you.

You and your frighteningly keen physio can get you back up and running again.

- This is goodbye. - Right.

Wait, what?

Look, I can fix your knee.

But I can't fix your heart.

And I have this hunch that if I stick around here any longer,

you're gonna end up breaking mine.

What are you talking about?

I don't wanna hurt you, I like you.

I like you.

But you're in love with someone else.

What?

That...

That's...

F-Fuck.

Look, there is... I just... One question.

- Um, why? - Why what?

Well, why-why did this happen?

- What? Us? - Mm-hmm.

Well...

Keeley... You know who Keeley is?

Yes, yeah, I know Keeley.

She wanted me to date other women.

Why?

She said that I needed to learn to fully see someone

and to let them fully see me.

For real.

What? So-So I was just part of some experiment then?

No, you were not part of my plan.

My plan was date a bunch of women real quick,

nothing happens, no feelings,

get out and tell her I've done it.

But then I met you.

Mmm. I wasn't enough.

Are you kidding me?

You're a fucking captain.

Is that an insult?

No.

All right, look,

on a football team, captain has three jobs.

Make sure everyone's heading towards the same goal.

Stand up for what's right.

And put the well-being of others before yourself.

Mmm.

You have to be able to hold the center.

The way you are with your patients,

the way you are with your friends,

the way you've been with me...

You're a captain.

I see you.

I see you too.

And I need you to know,

you are so worthy of being with the person that you love.

Goodbye, Coach Kent.

Thank you, Dr. Beaumont.

It's my pleasure.

I thought she'd never leave.

You and I need to have a chat about boundaries.

I'm gonna give you a minute.

- Have a lovely day, Keeley. - Yeah, you too.

"Charlotte stopped.

A moment later, a tear came to Wilbur's eye.

'Oh, Charlotte, ' he said.

'To think that when I first met you, I thought you were cruel and bloodthirsty.'

When he recovered from his emotions, he spoke again.

'Why did you do all this for me?' He asked.

'I don't deserve it. I have never done anything for you.'

'You have been my friend, ' replied Charlotte.

'That in itself is a tremendous thing.'"

Pull it together, man.

Thanks, man.

Hey, Coach. Where's the sign?

"I wove my webs for you because I liked you.

After all, what's a life anyway?

We're born, we live a little while, we die."

Hey, Coach, what is that?

It is a sign that says, "Believe."

Uh... I don't get it.

Uh, well, there's nothing to get.

Just, um, believe.

- In what? - That's it?

That's all we're getting?

Hey, Ted,

look, I don't mean to be a dick, but I think we already believe enough.

We wouldn't be playing for a second division football club

getting paid peanuts if we didn't believe.

Right. No, I get you.

- Yeah. - Well, she's got a point, gaffer.

I mean, it's a very nice idea, but "believe" isn't gonna help me

when I need someone to look after the kids

while I'm here and training with you lot, is it?

- No, of course. - Oh, speaking of.

Yeah, believing is not gonna get me six extra hours a day

so I can play football and go to school.

- No, it is not. - Nope.

I'd love to believe that the landlord isn't going to raise our rent, but...

Believe me, that rat bastard's gonna do it.

Language. There's a kid.

- I'm sorry. - No, I get it. I get it.

Yeah, I just have to believe that my car will fix itself

or... or just believe that a lovely millionaire

will come along and buy me a Porsche.

That'd be nice, right?

Hey, Ted, isn't the "Believe" sign in the men's locker room as well?

Uh, yeah, no, they got one in there.

- Why? - Yeah, they've had one for a while.

I feel like there should be a differentiation between the two.

- It's a hand-me-down. - Is that the same one?

Or did we get a new one?

You can't copy and paste it, man.

Alice, you know, the men already have one of those signs.

Do we really need one too?

Yes, and we just have to make it our own.

- "And win." - What the fuck?

- Can you say... say that again for Mummy? - And win.

He's-He's read that.

- You can read! - You're a genius!

Oh, my God!

Believe and win!

Believe and win!

Believe and win!

Believe and win! Believe and win!

Believe and win!

Oi! Can you please stop doing that?

It's you.

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah, I'm, uh... I'm good.

You do realize that it's still bad luck to whistle in a theater?

No, I... Yeah, I apologize. I-I do remember.

Uh, it just... you know, the first time we met,

I never got your name.

So I thought the easiest way to get your attention might be to, uh...

To call for me like a dog?

Mmm. Didn't think of it that way.

You know what? I'm sorry about that.

- No, I'm messing with you. - Oh.

- I'm messing with you. - Okay.

Did you, uh... Did you see the play?

Uh, no, not tonight, no.

Uh, but a little boy playing King Lear sounds very interesting.

He's actually 35.

Is he? I'll be darned.

- Well, still younger than most, right? - Mm-mmm.

Um, no, I'm...

Came here to see you.

- Oh. Right. - Yeah.

Yeah, I was, um...

I was wondering if...

I was wondering if, uh, perhaps you would be, um...

well, if you'd like to go out on a date with me sometime.

I, um...

I've... I've just started seeing someone, so...

Oh, great. That's good.

Hey, a lot of good folks out there, you know.

Nice to know people are still bumping into each other and, you know.

Well, we... we met on the apps.

Oh, nice.

But, um, if I was single, I would...

yeah, I-I would definitely go on a date with you.

All right.

- I better go back to work. - Okay, yeah, sure, I get it.

It was nice to see you again, Ted.

Nice to see you too.

Shit.