All language subtitles for Son of a Critch s05e02 Teach a Man to Fish.eng

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Original subtitles

ADULT MARK (V.O.): The first day of the last year

of high school.

Grade 12: one last year of being big fish

in a small pond, before we swam away...

possibly to become fish food.

-Driving to school.

Isn�t this cool?

-Yup.

[engine backfiring]

-[engine stuttering] -[another car honking]

-So very cool.

-Get out and push.

-You push, dumbass. I�m a girl.

-Since when are you a girl? -Hey!

-Ow! You�re so pretty.

MIDDLE FOX: I�m the one with the learner�s permit.

I gotta drive. It�s the law.

-Wait... Did you say "permit"?

-At least we get to make a first impression.

Come on, Ritche, m�boy.

["Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch]

-BOY: Nice wheels! -[people laughing and jeering]

-This is better than the bus how?

-Ignore them, Ritche.

They�re just jealous.

[laughter continues]

MARK: Argh, come on. RITCHE: Okay.

[both grunting with effort]

-You get it? -Yeah.

MARK: Alright, get in.

-Two bucks each for gas. Let�s go.

MARK: We had to push!

We... we were the gas.

MIKE SR: [radio] Breaking News. Crisis in the fishery.

-Hey. Turn that up.

-The cod fishery, the backbone of the province,

may be about to snap.

Fisheries Minister John Crosbie is in St. John�s today,

where he is expected to announce

a total shutdown of the cod fishery.

Fishermen, plant workers, whole communities

caught in the undertow.

30,000 jobs could disappear overnight.

-Closed? How?

-Mike Critch, VOCM, first with the news.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): And just like that,

we went from big fish to endangered species.

-Shutting down the fishery?

-It doesn�t affect you, Aquaman.

Not unless you plan on working on a trawler.

-This is gonna affect everybody.

RITCHE: My uncle packs fish at National Sea Products.

It can�t be good for him or my cousins.

-They�ll get a job packing something else.

-Like your mudder!

-You know that�s your mudder too?

-Gross!

FOX: Can�t we just enjoy our last year?

This is grade 12! We�re seniors, baby!

Woo-hoo!

-Yeah.

Fun.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): Some of us were too busy surfing a wave

to see the tsunami coming.

DICK: No more fish?

I�m gonna miss that feed �a cod tongues

down at the Scampers.

Best tongue since Tammy Loveless.

MIKE SR: You�re gonna miss more than a few tongues.

This changes everything.

MIKE JR: Does it, though?

I mean, I don�t even really know anyone who fishes anymore.

-30,000 people out of work overnight.

Those people buy cars,

and the people who sell them those cars buy ads on the radio.

-Shag this. I�m heading down to Scampers

for a feed �a cod tongues

while they still got tongues to feed me.

-Yes, and while you�ve still got a job to pay for �em.

-Come on, Dad. It�s not that bad.

-No...

Might be worse.

-[ominous organ music] -[school bell rings]

ADULT MARK (V.O.): The present was dark,

but we still had the future to look forward to.

SISTER ROSE: Good morning, seniors.

You�ve made it to the summit.

Grade 12.

Yesterday, you were children.

But yesterday is gone.

Today, the fishery collapsed,

and with it, your futures.

-Okay. That took a turn.

SISTER ROSE: So, choose your electives wisely.

There will be a demand for manual labour.

For the boys,

household movers to help in the...

mass exodus.

For the girls,

there�s always room in the convent.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): Theatre Arts,

Creative Writing...

these were not the tools of a tradesman.

SISTER ROSE: Welcome, Class of �92.

Enjoy your final year!

These are the end times.

[dramatic music]

-Thank you, Sister Rose, for that cool...

dare I say, cold, welcome.

-There�s no way I�m becoming a nun.

-What if she�s right?

What if we�re making all the wrong choices?

-She�s just trying to scare you. That�s her job.

-Well, it�s working!

Entertainment is the first thing people cut

when the money gets tight.

I don�t have a back-up plan.

I don�t even have a front-up plan.

I want to be a comedian.

What am I doing?

I�m having a mid-life crisis at 17!

Oh my God, I�m...

I�m only gonna live to be 40.

-Thirty-four. -That�s not helping.

-You�re wigging out.

Everything�s gonna be fine, okay?

-You really think I�m gonna make it?

FOX: Yes!

And worst case scenario, you go to work at VOCM,

like your dad and brother.

[VOCM jingle playing]

-Late last night, early this morning,

two youths were arrested for exposing their buttocks

on George Street.

Police were immediately on the scene

and able to apprehend our cheeky suspects

before they completed the lunar cycle,

midway between a half and a full moon.

Mark Critch, VOCM news service.

-That�s a deadly ol� story there, Mark, b�y.

-Ah, thanks, Dick. I-I mean, Mike.

-Listen, I�m gonna needs the apartment to myself tonight.

I gots a hot date comin� over, Mark, b�y.

Oh, you�re outta soup.

[comically unsettling music]

ADULT MARK (V.O.): I didn�t want to follow

in anyone�s footsteps.

I wanted to cut my own path.

-Where are you going? -To make a course correct.

[knock on door]

MARK: Father?

-Mark. Come in.

Got something on your mind?

-Well, uh...

I was... wondering if maybe I could

make a couple changes to my course picks.

I mean, if it�s not too late.

-No.

Hey, let�s see what you�re rockin�.

Oh! Theatre Arts. No surprise there.

Advanced Writing, Visual Arts.

Pretty lefty.

Looks like you got a soft-handed life comin� your way.

Nice!

-That�s the thing. I...

I-I�m just thinking that... with, you know,

the current economic climate, uh...

maybe I need to focus on something more...

-Practical?

Pragmatic?

Useful?

-Less stupid. Uh...

This is my last year in school,

and for the first time, I�m...

I�m starting to think about maybe what I want to do is...

silly.

-Mark...

You...

you give these people comfort.

You make them forget about their troubles.

I mean, it�s kinda the same as being a priest.

-I guess so.

I mean...

the altar is kinda like a stage, and...

you do wear a costume.

I mean, the whole wine and bread thing

is sorta like a magic trick, and...

you even get to sing!

-You know...

I wanted to be a singer.

-Why didn�t you?

-Well, I didn�t think I�d be able to support myself.

-You didn�t think you�d make any money at it,

so you took a vow of poverty?

-Well, you can�t be let down if you don�t try.

But...

Next best thing, right?

[playing guitar]

? Through him, with him, in him ?

? In the unity of the Holy Spirit ?

? All glory is yours ?

? Forever and ever... ?

-Right, uh, I think I�m gonna drop Creative Writing

and take Shop.

-What? No! Sit down.

Mark!

You have plenty of time to make up your mind.

You just have to make a decision by the end of the day.

You got like three and a half hours.

-[playing guitar] -? Hosanna... ?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): One day to make a decision

that would change everything.

No pressure.

Just the crushing weight of my entire future.

?

FOX: Mark?

What the frig are you doing here?

-Just exploring other options.

-You�re gonna get hurt.

-Sorry I�m late, youngsters.

My God, this school is some size.

-Mr. Chafe? I... I thought you retired.

-Oh, hey, Mark. Fox.

Some nice to see familiar faces.

Yes, I was out for a year but it�s hard times,

so I had to take on a few shifts as a substitute, eh?

ADULT MARK (V.O.): It wasn�t just fishermen

who were feeling the pinch.

-Me wife left me.

-You had a wife? Gross.

-She took it all, Mark, b�y.

The house. The car.

Didn�t even leave me with so much as one of the cats.

-Uh, sir, I think we should focus on the lesson.

-Oh, I learned my lesson, alright.

Never to trust a woman ever again.

FOX: He means the class. Get a grip.

-Oh, right, yes. Jeez.

What am I thinking?

Uh, I�m some glad to be teaching you woodworking.

My first love, and now my only love.

Now, before we start, safety first.

I wanna see them goggles.

[tense music]

[loud crash]

-Okay. Uh...

I see why we... need the goggles now.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): My course correction

had just corrected itself...

straight out the window!

?

[indistinct chatter]

-Good God, Mary!

What are you doing down here?

-I told you I was working this week!

Come to the Soiree. St. John�s 100th birthday party!

It�s Come Home year!

MIKE SR: The fisheries minister is here.

The place is a powder keg. People are losing their jobs!

-Well, I still have a job to do!

-Food festivals, music in the park, screech-ins...

What kinda screech-in are you gonna have

when there�s no cod left to kiss?

-[door bursts open] -[crowd yelling angrily]

-What�s all that?

-They locked out the fishermen. This is bad.

Oh, God, it�s about to get worse.

Pop, what are you doin� here?

-Protesting!

We�re not gonna let that Ottawa fat cat speak.

-Pop, he has to speak so people can find out

what kind of a support package there�s gonna be.

-What, more welfare?

You know, give a man a fish, he�ll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish-

-And he�ll be outta work forever.

MARY: Pop, that crowd is some riled up.

You�re gonna get hurt.

-You have my word.

I�m not gonna get hurt.

I�m the one doing the hurting.

Shillelagh Law.

-I don�t have time for this.

I gotta get in there.

[crowd yelling angrily]

-Hey, Gary?

-Sorry, Mike. She�s locked tight.

-For them, but I�m press, Gary.

-I can�t open the doors and let you in, Mike.

They�d storm the place!

[crowd yelling angrily]

[tourism commercial playing on TV]

VOICE: [TV] Give us a call...

CROSBIE: [TV] I�m making a decision based on the desire

to ensure that the northern cod survives as a species.

-This is Mike Critch, reporting live from downtown St. John�s,

where Fisheries Minister John Crosbie just announced

the closure of the cod fishery,

the largest layoff in Canadian history.

[dramatic music]

-They�ve locked us out.

-They�ve locked us out!

-Cowards all.

CROWD: Cowards!

-We should break it down.

-Break it down!

[crowd yelling angrily]

[loud crashing and thudding]

[yelling and thudding]

[traditional Celtic music]

-Gotta get in there.

CROSBIE: [TV] They don�t need to go berserk

trying to batter on doors to frighten me.

In the first place, I don�t frighten.

-It�s utter mayhem as the fishermen attempt

to break down the doors.

I�m gonna try and get inside.

MARY: Excuse me... Pardon me...

Mike...

Don�t!

MIKE SR: I�m press! Let me through!

-Mike, I told ya!

[loud thud]

-Mike!

Back the frig up, or by the Jesus, you�re next!

Mike, honey.

-I told ya.

You could get hurt.

?

MR. LEWIS: What do you need a job for? Money?

The whole province is unemployed now, b�y.

Sure, you could get a "career,"

but why be broke doin� something you hate

when you can go broke doing something you love?

-But you got a job.

And you still get to act all the time.

Maybe I�ll be a teacher like you.

You got the coolest job in the world.

-No, no, acting�s the coolest job in the world.

You think I wanted to grade papers

and haul stoners down to the principal�s office?

This job is a parachute.

I was afraid to fly.

But what�s the use of a parachute

if you never jumps out of a plane, right?

And then, over time, it just weighs you down.

And you know what happens when you jumps out of a plane

with a backpack full �a rocks?

-You die? -Inside.

Way I figures it, I got ten years to go, but...

you know, with good behaviour and a soft tissue injury,

I can get it down to eight. Seven if I�m lucky.

-You sound like you�re on death row.

-Life�s just one long death row, young fella.

Some folks can break out.

As long as they got a spoon to dig with.

MARK: National Theatre School?

There�s a... whole school

that�s just Theatre Arts class, all day?

-Wasn�t an option when I was your age.

-Where�s it to?

-Montreal.

French girls, Critchie.

You only gotta be 18 to drink, too.

-And... theatre. -What?

Yeah, theatre too, yeah.

Don�t let me happen to you.

No parachutes!

-[laughs] No parachutes.

Thanks, sir.

-Now, dodge down and get me book bag, will ya?

Me smokes is in that.

-Uh, yes, sir.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): Advanced Writing class.

A whole period about plays, books, and poems.

As far from Shop as I could get.

-Mr. Chafe?

-Ooh, hey, Mark. Good to see you again.

-You�re teaching Advanced Writing too?

-Guess so. Life as a substitute.

-I didn�t know you liked... words.

-Oh, I�d... much rather work with me hands,

but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Okay, class, open your books to page 86,

"The Road Not Taken."

Uh, Mark, you wanna give it a go?

-Sure.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

"and sorry I could not travel both

"and be one traveller, long I stood..."

-You can just skip right down to the end, Mark.

You only needs the tops and the tails.

That middle stuff, that�s just for show.

-Yeah, uh...

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I...

"I took the road less travelled by.

"And that has made all the difference."

MR. CHAFE: Can anybody tell me what that means?

BOY: I dunno.

MR. CHAFE: Mark?

-The fella who wrote it comes to a fork in the road.

Doesn�t know where to go.

Uh, the woods are yellow, so it�s fall.

Almost winter.

The writer picks the path less taken,

so he�s making the harder choice.

Maybe it�s about...

not settling for the way things are,

but making your own way.

?

-No. It�s about jobs!

Every poem is like a riddle.

And the answer to this one...

is jobs.

Two roads.

One is more trampled because it�s the right way.

And the other one is overgrown

because it�s the wrong way.

Now, turn your books to page...

ADULT MARK (V.O.): The road more travelled

seemed to be the safer path.

So, why did I feel like I was going the wrong way?

-Ooh.

How�s your eye?

-Black, thanks to you.

POP: Aw, well...

I mean, it builds character.

Yeah. [chuckles]

What�s for supper?

-Fish!

-It�s my favourite. Fish sticks!

POP: Oh! Hm.

Well... we�re eating American fish?

In Newfoundland? Good God.

Well, where do the potatoes come from, Rhodesia?

This is not real fish.

This is processed American crap!

-There is a moratorium on, as if you didn�t know.

And it is all that I had the energy to make after today!

[sighs] Some "Soiree." It felt more like a funeral.

MIKE JR: It�s not all bad news, though, right?

I mean, they get a package.

220 bucks a week, every week, for 10 weeks? That�s...

-You couldn�t even afford fish sticks on that.

MIKE SR: And they�re gonna retrain the fishermen.

-You know, half those fishermen,

they haven�t set foot in a classroom in 50 years.

What are they gonna be? Hairdressers?

-How about some good news?

Mark, how was your first day at Grade 12?

MARK: Uh...

Well, uh...

I don�t know if it�s good or not, but, um...

I�m switching streams.

-What do you mean?

-I�m taking Shop.

-[stifles a laugh]

Sorry, you�re what?

-That�s the first sensible thing I heard all day.

Good for you, Mark.

-Mark... what about your acting?

-Speaking of, uh...

did you know there�s a school in Montreal just for acting?

MIKE SR: Good God, what a waste of money!

You�ll learn a lot more in that Shop class.

MARY: Stop.

-Leave the boy alone.

It�s his life. Let him live it.

Or do you want him living one as fake as this fish?

[Mary sighs]

[sombre music]

?

-Mark...

?

?

?

-[knocks on door]

?

?

-Oh, no, I-I...

Oh, they�re disgusting, aren�t they?

Hm...

Actually... Not bad.

Ahem...

Our secret.

-Our secret.

-Don�t listen to them.

And don�t give up your dreams

just because everyone else has given up on theirs.

-Uh... I guess...

the closer I get to doing it,

the more scared I get, Pop.

-You know, nobody...

ever caught anything worth keeping

by hugging the shoreline.

You want something worth keeping,

you have to shove off into the deep water.

Even when the weather looks rough.

-Did you have a dream?

-[chuckles wistfully]

I went to sea when I was 12.

I was too tired to dream.

But here...

I get three squares a day, a roof over my head,

and my family.

I�m living mine right now.

[soft, emotional music]

?

POP: Montreal, huh?

Ooh-la-la.

-It�s just something I�m thinking of.

-Thinking?

Or dreaming?

-We�ll see.

ADULT MARK (V.O.): The greatest resource I ever had

growing up wasn�t fish.

It was my family.

If you�re lucky,

you�ll have someone who believes in you enough

to make your dream their own.

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

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