Original subtitles

♪ Whoomp! There it is! ♪

♪ Whoomp! There it is! ♪

♪ Whoomp! There it is! ♪

Breakdown.

Fun fact about me...

I did a color-guard routine to this in the 9th grade.

Fun fact about me...

this song was on a mixtape I made in the 7th grade

titled "Maxin' And Relaxin'."

I was the master at mixtapes.

I'd pick a title, then put together the perfect mix,

like "Good Vibes And High Fives,"

"TV Watchin', Pizza Noshin',"

"Mad Schoolin' Straight Foolin'."

Wow, you were pretty cool, Mordecai.

Yeah, I was.

I'd play 'em for you, but the tapes are all at my mom and dad's.

Dude, we should listen to them!

Sure, I could get them tomorrow, maybe.

I'd love to come along.

- You want to... - Come along to your parent's house!

We can get the tapes, I could meet your parents.

I can meet your mom!

M-my mom?

I mean, why not?

We've been going out for a few months now, why wouldn't you want to meet my mom?

I mean...

it's not like I can keep my mom from you forever.

Great!

- Thanks for the dinner/movie. - Yeah.

I can't wait for you to meet my mom!

She can't meet my mom, dude.

What's the big deal? Your mom's totally cool.

- She's totally psycho. - What?!

She'd always go out of her way to embarrass me whenever I had a girl over.

Yeah, but how many times did you have a girl over... zero?

- Was it zero times? - No!

Remember Daphne Gonzales?

- Music? - Uh, yea-ah.

It's loud.

So, what did you get for question 12?

Hey, kids!

Sorry I had to kick the door open.

It was closed for some reason.

Oh, this music.

What's going on... a dance party?

Come on, Mordy! Shake what your mama gave you.

Your butt, Mordy... I'm talking about your butt!

What do you want, mom?!

I made some snacky-wackies for my wittle study buddies.

Pick in a blanket and, uh, prunes.

Prunes are for Mordy, hon, keeps him regular.

- Mo-o-o-m! - What? It does.

Okay, mom! Fine!

Just leave now, all right?! Gosh!

Okay, okay, Mordy, I'll leave.

It's just... Daphne, thank you.

For what?

For being the first girl Mordecai's ever brought over.

It's going on the tape!

So, tell me... how do you like studying with my son?

Tell me for the tape.

I got to go!

So, that's why Daphne wrote,

"I hope you're still eating your prunes, ha ha!" in your yearbook.

Molly Sherman, Bernice Chan, Sasha Diaz...

none of them lasted a day with my mom.

Sounds rough, man.

Well, if it isn't my favorite and only son.

Uh, hey, dad.

I'm thinking about coming by the house with my girlfriend

so I can grab one of my old mixtapes.

Girlfriend, eh?

I'm sure your mom will love that.

That's kind of the problem.

She gets weird when I bring girls home, it's embarrassing!

Wait, you've brought girls home? How many times?

Was it zero times?

Anyway, I know mom can go overboard sometimes,

but I'm not sure what you want me to do about that.

Just... is there a time I can come by when mom won't be home?

Well, she does have punchercize tomorrow night, but...

Look, I know it's messed up, but please don't tell her we're coming.

Uhp, uhp! I can't lie to that woman, haven't in 25 years...

except if she asks if she could still pass as a college student,

then you lie. Otherwise, no lies!

Just don't tell her!

- Dad, I'm here! - Ah, there's my boy!

Hi, dad.

And you must be C.J., I'm William.

Nice to meet you, sir.

Please, call me "Will."

"Sir" is my boss' name.

Unfortunately, Mordecai's mom isn't around at the moment.

Mom's not here?! Darn it! Life's so unfair!

Oh, well, next time or whatever.

Anyway, I'm just gonna run up and grab the tape so we can...

Where's my little champion?

Mom! You're home!

Of course I am.

You don't think I'd miss my handsome gent coming home, do you?

And when your dad told me you were bringing a new sweetie over,

I decided to take the afternoon punchercise class

so I can run right home to see you two.

25 years... no lies.

And you... Wow! Gorgeous!

Yep, I'm smart and funny, too.

And modest. She's the whole package.

Mordy, tell me you and this bombshell will be staying for dinner.

- Actually, we... - Pshaw! I insist!

Besides, I already whipped up something special before punchercise.

You two sit tight, it'll be ready in a jiff.

Can't wait.

Sorry my mom's so weird.

What? She's totally sweet!

Here's my room.

Yep, yep.

You can tell a lot about a man from the room he grew up in.

Anything, I think my mixtapes are in the closet.

- They aren't here. - Mordecai!

Mordecai, I need you right now!

I'll see what she wants.

- Mordecai! - What?! What is it, mom?

Is C.J. vegetarian?

That's what you called me down for?

No, mom, no, she isn't.

Oh, good! She can have some of my prized meatloaf.

Can you just be normal?

- Yeah, normal! - Normal? Ever heard of it?

Let's not go nuts here, okay?

Don't worry, let me show you the dessert.

See, the berries spell out...

Hey, stop! What are you doing?!

Sorry, it just looked so good, you know,

I couldn't wait.

You've still got it, mom.

You're lucky I have a backup!

Think she'll like it?

It was hard to get all her features.

Gelatin is such an unforgiving medium.

But, luckily, I got a bunch of her photos off the internet.

C.J., C.J., we got... we got to go!

- What? Why? - We just gotta, before...

Dinner's ready, kids!

Never mind.

He kept running and running.

And he shoots the ball into the other team's basket!

Oh, memories.

I've been collecting them, you know, C.J.

Yeah, I'm collecting a few interesting ones myself.

No, I mean on tape.

It's called "Mordy Moments."

Okay! Who's ready for some "Mordy Moments"?

20th Century Mom Presents "Mordy Moments"!

Just think a happy thought, and you can fly, too!

Pasketti everywhere!

Pasketti on your tushy.

You remember that tape, Mordy?

Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.

You know, you two should stay for a bit longer.

We could eat this special dessert I made for C.J.

Then we could watch the tape!

Now, where did I put it?

I think you put it in the basement.

I'll intercept... I mean, look for it.

Oh, C.J., you're in for a real treat.

Yes!

Jackpot.

So, why do you guys have so many prunes again?

Once Mordy brings up the tape, I'll show you why.

Sorry, mom.

Where's the mixtape?

Oh, you mean this mixtape?

Hey, give it back!

What the heck?!

Who are you?

Whoa, you're all me!

Brilliant, grab him!

Get off!

Help!

C.J.! Mom!

Yeah, right.

Why would mom want to help you after tonight?

What the heck does that mean?

Yeah.

It means that while you were busy looking for you dumb little mixtape,

we put together a little mixtape of our own.

Stop!

Can you just be normal?

Normal?

All right, fine.

I admit I haven't been supernice to mom tonight.

But if all people, can't you guys understand?

She humiliated us.

She put our most embarrassing moments on tape,

and now you're stuck like this forever!

You have to learn to let go, dude.

Embarrassing moments make us who we are.

The problem isn't that we're stuck like this on "Mordy Moments."

It's that we're stuck like this in here.

Besides, mom can be really cool.

Remember after I got caught in the diving slide?

Oh, yeah!

To make me feel better, she took me out for the biggest sundae I ever saw.

I guess that was pretty cool of her.

I'm free!

Yeah, she had to pull a lot of strings

to find a good doctor to remove that saxophone.

And after the play, she hunted around for weeks

to find me a new pair of rocketship underwear.

Aw, man, you guys are right.

Mom's totally rad, and I've been a complete jerk to her all night,

just because I wanted C.J. to think I was cool.

Dude, C.J. does think you're cool.

But girls don't dig guy who are jerks to their mom.

You're right, guys, thanks, I needed that.

Glad to help, bro.

See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!

I guess that stuff is pretty funny.

Mordecai, did you find "Mordy Moments"?

Oh, good.

Come on, everybody's in the living room.

Uh, Mordy, we don't have to watch if you don't wanna.

Is it embarrassing for you?

Do I embarrass you?

Mom, you don't embarrass me.

I've been acting totally crazy.

Sorry about being a jerk tonight.

My little boy could never be a jerk.

Well, look who it is.

- You found it? - Yep.

And here's dessert.

It's like looking in a jelly mirror.

This one's a keeper, Mordecai.

Okay, okay, everybody, settle down.

Welcome to the 10th annual screening of "Mordy Moments."

I need everybody to turn off their cellphones,

and no food or drink in the theater...

except mom's dessert.

And I'm gonna need everybody to sign a nondisclosure agreement.

This is way cooler than a mixtape.

... "Mordy Moments"!

Pasketti everywhere!