Original subtitles

- [vehicles passing] - [person grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[exhales sharply]

[grunts]

This stuff has to feel like breathing to you.

Because if there's one thing I learned in the Security Services,

it's that when someone comes for you, there's no time to think.

It's your muscle memory that will save you.

[breathes deeply]

["Gold" playing on speakers]

- We're not even talking off-grid. - [beeping]

They'd be plumbed and wired just like a normal housing unit.

But the real genius of it is that shipping containers are stackable.

Y-You put them one on top of the other, you've got yourself a-a tower block.

Studios in the Sky.

You should come out to the site sometime, see for yourself.

Cash or card?

Card.

Cash. Sorry.

Hello. Did your satnav lead you wrong?

They... They tend to get gremlins around here.

[person] No, no. We're in the right place. At least, I think so.

Mr. Loy, right? Mr. Struan Loy?

That's right.

It's just brilliant.

Residential shipping containers. [chuckles]

Soon as we heard about it, we knew we wanted in.

[stammers] It's very much a matter of potential at the moment.

- No, no. Struan... - So much potential.

Ultimately, I see them as one-room condos.

[person] Mmm.

And of course, the containers are stackable.

[softly] Stackable.

- [Struan chuckling] - [person] It's genius. It's genius.

So, how did you hear about it?

[sighs] Oh, you know.

Housing grapevine.

Business opportunity like this, people are gonna chitchat.

Only I haven't started sending out the brochures yet.

No, no. Well, our boss has a nose for these things.

We should text to say we found him.

Absolutely.

I-I thought you said it was just the two of you.

[person stammers]

Everyone answers to someone.

And we answer to the boss.

They were very keen that we track you down.

[chuckles softly]

Right. Well... lots to think about.

But I think I'd better sleep on it. Thanks for coming by.

No, sorry. I do want you to go now.

W-What are you doing?

Stop that!

[grunts]

[grunts, screams]

[groaning]

[grunts]

No. No. No. [groans]

No, please.

No. No. Please!

Oh, God. Please! No! No!

[groaning]

[screaming]

[winces]

[banging on door]

[screaming]

- [thuds] - [screaming stops]

["Strange Game" playing]

♪ Surrounded by losers ♪

♪ Misfits and boozers ♪

♪ Hanging by your fingernails ♪

♪ You made one mistake You got burned at the stake ♪

♪ You're finished, you're foolish You failed ♪

♪ There's always a hope On this slippery slope ♪

♪ Somewhere a ghost of a chance ♪

♪ To get back in that game ♪

♪ And burn off your shame ♪

♪ And dance with the big boys again ♪

["Busker Flow" playing]

- [tires screech] - [horn honks]

[music continues faintly on headset]

[footsteps approaching]

[grunts]

[groaning]

Please...

[groans]

[Shirley] Can't you just look into it for me?

Look at it yourself.

Is that my keyboard?

[Shirley] Who the fuck is that?

Who the fuck is who?

Who the fuck is that?

I don't know.

Well, he can't stay there.

[Diana] I'm sure you understand

that we want to avoid last-minute changes to the arrangements...

but because of the distance to the church and the forecast tomorrow,

we may well have to start a little later.

There will be Dogs at the back of the church and in the transept

- and scattered through the congregation. - [phone buzzing]

- We'll be discreet. - [Diana] Not too discreet.

We want anyone planning trouble to think twice about it.

Sorry, why would there be trouble?

He retired years ago.

[scoffs] Well, your grandfather led a secret life for a very long time.

We can't rule out the possibility of some of those secrets coming home to roost.

Half the people who'll be there think he worked for the Department of Transport.

Well, let's keep it that way.

So, the order of service. Are you thinking about saying a few words?

- Yes, I'm planning to say a few words. - Well, keep it brief.

The dead aren't served by shaggy-dog eulogies. [chuckles]

As for readings, Ecclesiastes 3 is traditional in Park funerals

for obvious reasons.

Unless you have other thoughts.

Well, I have thoughts about you calling it a "Park funeral."

He only died a few days ago, and I...

It's just all moving very fast, that's all.

Cartwright, as First Desk, it is my...

Oh, you're... you're First Desk?

God, I never would've known.

I have been told that you have refused bereavement leave

and have been coming into work every day.

So I'll put that remark down to grief, exhaustion and immaturity.

As First Desk, it is my job to ensure that certain traditions are upheld

and that respect is paid where it is due.

And in your grandfather's case,

respect was very much due.

Fine. Ecclesiastes is fine.

It's fine. It's all fine.

Good. Well, I'm glad we can agree on that.

There is one more thing.

The order of service booklet.

Your grandfather would've chosen these

knowing the purpose to which they were intended.

I wondered if you had a preference.

You don't have to choose now. You can take it away, take your time.

[sniffles]

Cartwright, I really am sorry for your loss.

- [door closes] - Is there something else?

Oh, yes, actually. Um, we've had a notification of a death.

Ex-service. Struan Loy.

- Oh. - He was a Slow Horse.

I know Struan Loy.

Well, the coroner concluded it was accidental,

but the circumstances are unusual.

I'll make sure Lamb is informed.

Well, if it's an accident, no need to tell Lamb.

There's no protocol to tell him? Or at least courtesy?

[scoffs]

"Courtesy" and "Jackson Lamb" in the same sentence.

[sucks teeth]

Funny isn't a quality I look for in a Head Dog.

Nor is presumption.

Ma'am.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[mutters]

- [Jackson] Is that Standish? - [Catherine] Yes.

[Jackson sighs]

Nice of you to finally show up.

What, did you think I wouldn't?

Jackson, Jackson.

[mouthing] Who's that?

[stammers] Oh, that's an estate agent.

- Yeah, Coe tried to kill him. - I thought he had a gun.

[softly] Well, is he all right?

Uh, I shouldn't fucking think so. You see the state of him?

I hold you responsible. You know, this is why you're supposed to get in early.

- Well, my bus was delayed. I did call. - [groans]

I'll get him some ice.

- Have you been paid this month? - Pardon?

Oh, yeah.

No one's had any dosh this month.

Check your bank balance

- if you don't believe us. - What?

Obviously, if this lot got paid what they're worth,

they'd owe the Park money, but we're talking senior management.

I, uh... I put the karate kid on it, but he can't find us.

If it's there, I can find it. If I can't find it, it's not there.

- What isn't there? - [Shirley] Us.

We've been wiped from the Park system.

We don't exist anymore.

So now you've been briefed, you can get on and sort it.

Well, where are you going?

Well, I'm not staying here. I'm not being paid.

Christ. Whatever happened to the unions in this country?

- Oh, and, um, find Cartwright. - Do I have to disturb him today? Why?

In case we need to tap him for his inheritance.

Hello.

- Would you... Would you like a cup of tea? - Mm-hmm.

Um, I'll be back in a moment.

[Diana] Yes, no, no.

Absolutely not. And yes.

- Ma'am, you wanted to see these? - Um, put them on my desk, please.

How long is this gonna take?

Now don't turn up your nose, Diana.

The next time the question of Park budgets is raised in the House,

the Carlton Club or at Chevening, these people will be your friends.

Do you prostitute all your First Desks, or is it just the ladies?

Ma'am, building logistics want to know about your old office.

Oh, well, tell them I'm still using it.

Oh.

No, I-I need to keep my eye on the hub.

Unless you want me to use it for coach parties. [chuckles]

Diana, you know I'm always on your side.

Well, why does that drain me of confidence?

But I do hope you'll make our guests feel welcome.

[sighs] Whatever.

I'm not the tea lady. I know how the game is played.

That doesn't really answer my question.

[agent] It's the... Really, the central point of investigations.

[Diana] Good morning.

I don't want to interrupt your tour.

I just wanted to take the opportunity to welcome you to the Park myself.

- Diana, may I introduce Jeremy Yeo. - He's in steel.

- Oh. Good to have you in the building. - Pleased to meet you. Thank you.

Sylvia Delaney.

- Finance. - Oh, yes. I think we've met before.

- Yes. - Damien Cantor.

- Oh, how do you do? - Owns a television channel.

Of course you know Peter Judd.

[chuckles] Peter and I are old friends.

[chuckles] Although I am surprised you got security clearance.

[both chuckle]

Chance to see our First Desk in all her increasingly acclaimed glory.

Wild horses couldn't keep me away.

And I have to say you don't disappoint.

- You wear the crown remarkably well. - [chuckles] Thank you.

- Why are the screens blank? - Uh, it's, um, surveillance.

It's not something we can share with you today, I'm afraid.

Oh, surely there's something we can see.

Having come all this way...

Cassie, what have you got there?

The Wiltshire bot farm.

- Oh, give them that. - Okay.

So, this is a Russian financed bot farm

in the same place as the nerve agent attacks

a few weeks ago.

Felt like insult to injury so we went in there this morning.

- Show them the rest. - Hmm.

[MI5 agent] MI5!

[MI5 agents screaming]

Get down! Get down! Get down!

- Get down! - [agents shouting, exclaiming]

- Get up! - Get up!

- [MI5 agent shouting] - [Peter] Bravo.

Strike back. [chuckles]

[Diana] Novichok on British soil.

I think we're far from evening the score.

S-Sorry, ma'am. You're needed upstairs.

Code Vulcan.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I have to deal with this.

Um, Second Desk will take care of you.

[Singh] Right. If you, uh... if you'd like to follow me.

As I was saying, this is the center of...

Code Vulcan?

My cat, ma'am.

- [chuckles] - Oh.

[both chuckle]

Do you need anything else, ma'am?

No, no.

Just the chance to get some actual work done.

Thank you, Ofili.

[door closes]

[electronic music playing]

Is, um...

What the fuck?

It's target practice for dickheads.

Missed.

How'd it go at the Park?

Um, fine, yeah. [sniffs]

Is, um... Is Lamb in?

Lamb's on strike because we haven't been paid.

Catherine's gone to find out why.

What? What do you mean we haven't been paid?

We've been wiped from the Park system, including payroll.

Have we? What?

Doubt you've got anything to worry about. Must be loaded now.

Actually the cost of the care home

pretty much ate up everything that my grandf...

Fuck am I telling you that for?

[sniffs] If you haven't been paid, what are you all even still doing here?

None of us have anywhere else to go.

- Rude. - Nah, I'm where I need to be.

Here for you.

Grief, River, is merely the shadow of love.

Yeah?

"If one day the speed kills me, do not cry because I was smiling."

[exclaims]

What the fuck?

Target practice for dickheads.

[Roddy chuckles]

[electronic music faintly continues]

[music stops]

Hello. This is Isobel. Say something nice.

[River scoffs]

It's me again. It's River.

I just, um...

I've got a missed call. I don't know if it was from you.

But can you... can you just please, just call me back, okay?

I just need to know if you're coming. That'd be really helpful.

Thank you so much. [stammers]

[sighs]

Oh, this has got to stop.

I've moved on and so should you.

Think of me as a beautiful dream. [sniffs]

Struan Loy is dead.

- [groans] - [Flyte] Five days ago.

The coroner ruled the death accidental.

Struan Loy.

- He was a Slow Horse. - Yeah, I know who he was.

I'm just trying to work out why you think I'd give a toss.

Because he was one of yours.

Yeah, until I sacked his sorry arse for selling us down the fucking river.

He burned to death in a shipping container.

[sighs]

A broken arm.

Maybe the shock killed him

when he toppled into the marshmallows he was roasting.

Apparently he was earning a living teaching martial arts,

so it's possible that's how he got the break.

But one broken arm wouldn't stop you opening an unlocked door

to get out of a burning room.

So why didn't he?

Did you ever meet Struan Loy?

Before my time.

He divided opinion, did Struan.

Some people thought that he was a total waste of space,

others felt that was being overgenerous.

In a field of spectacular underachievers,

he really did stand out as being entirely without fucking use.

So the idea that he accidentally barbecued himself in a shipping container

is surprisingly easy to buy.

On top of which,

I'm currently on strike at the minute,

on account of not having been fucking paid, so...

Right.

Well... [exhales] ...thanks for listening.

- [sighs] - No.

Yeah.

Give me something to read when I'm on the loo.

[grunts]

Lady Di know you're here?

No.

Huh.

[clears throat] Moscow rules.

[grunts] Oh, and, uh...

A bit short at the minute, hey.

Do me a solid. Get this.

[sighs]

[line ringing]

Hey, Cartwright?

Get your arse down here.

[sighs]

Catherine.

This will have to be quick, I'm afraid. We're fearfully busy.

Of course.

We've run into some technical problems at Slough House, and we were wondering...

[whispers] Not here. Come.

My room should be free. They've all buggered off to the pub for a birthday.

You won't be overheard.

Apologies.

But with the younger blood snapping at my heels for my job,

it doesn't do to remind people of my association with Slough House.

You should've gone out when you could.

Anyway, um, it seems Slough House has been erased from the service database.

I mean, whoever's done the wiping has made an impressively thorough job of it.

I mean, obviously the queens of the database answer to you,

so if there's been an administrative blunder,

you wouldn't want that getting out, would you?

Not with all that young blood snapping at your heels.

Give me two ticks.

[sighs]

[beeps]

- Oh. - [whirs, beeps]

As I thought.

There certainly hasn't been an administrative blunder.

The order to expunge you came from the top.

The very top.

Um...

thank you very much.

You take good care of yourself now, Catherine.

Thank you. Thank you.

[River] Why exactly are we here?

Well, given your recent bereavement,

I thought a change of scene might do you good.

A change of scene would've been sending me back to the Park

- like you promised. - Oh, Christ.

You're still whanging on about that.

No. But obviously just not a man of your word. Fine.

Yeah, look, we could always go to a park if you like.

- Feed the ducks. - You literally sat in front of me.

You told me you were gonna do it.

"When am I gonna get back to the Park? Me granddad's dead."

You know, there are deaths and deaths, Cartwright.

Especially in our line of work.

[sighs] At 83, peacefully in his bed...

Your grandfather would've counted himself lucky,

if he'd had any idea what was going on.

I'll remind you of that when your time comes, shall I?

Yeah, well, that's a bit, uh, presumptuous, yeah?

Assuming I'll predecease you.

Oh, yeah. 'Cause you're... you're all green juices and avocado.

- I forgot. - No, no. I'm just saying.

The state you're in, wound up like a spring.

You're liable to go off half-cocked and get yourself in trouble.

I mean, you gotta either let it out or keep it in,

but you can't do both at once.

- Better? - [inhales deeply]

No.

Close the door, yeah?

All right. [groans] Now open it one-handed.

What does that prove?

Well, it proves nothing.

But it begs the question, why didn't Struan Loy do what you just did?

[grunts, sniffs]

[sighs]

[Roddy grunts]

- [phone buzzes] - Get in.

[buzzing continues]

Yo.

Struan Loy's gone and got himself killed.

[sighs] Silly sod.

But in case there's more to it,

I need a check on the other ex-Slow Horses.

Let's see if we've got anything to worry about.

Oh, can do.

[tense music playing]

[tense music continues]

[groans]

[tense music stops]

- [person 1] Okay. [chuckles] Just you? - [person 2] Yes.

[person 1] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [chuckles]

- Evening. - Evening.

All right.

Who next?

You choose.

[scoffs] Who the fuck calls their child River?

[tense music playing]

[scrubbing]

[tense music continues]

[tense music stops]

[inhales deeply, exhales]

[David] River.

Shouldn't you be at school?

[whispering] No.

No. It's fine. It's fine.

What's that noise?

It's the oxygen.

It's bubbling away. [chuckles]

It's like soup on a hob.

[River] Hmm.

It's very comforting.

I tried my best to make it a home, after she'd gone.

Hmm.

It never stopped feeling like home.

I won't miss living without her.

But I shall miss you.

- [sighs] - [David] Very much.

My boy.

We'll talk more. Hmm?

[burping]

[groans]

You do know round isn't a food group?

[sighs]

- No. [groans] - Go on. No?

[groans] Please yourself.

You don't know what you're missing.

And while we're on the subject,

I hope you're not planning to drink that during the actual ceremony.

Those who are genuinely grieving might take it the wrong way.

How do you know I'm not genuinely grieving?

Maybe this is what grief looks like for me.

And besides, there's no point in having a hip flask if you're not gonna use it.

That's not a hip flask. It's a small bottle.

Oh, Christ. Who put you in pedants' corner?

Are you seriously going to pretend you're mourning David Cartwright?

You hated him.

I just wanna make sure the Old Bastard's really dead.

I brought a stake with me. Yeah?

- Care to wield the hammer? - [sighs]

Oh, come on, Standish.

We're spies.

We've all faked our own death at one time or another.

[sniffs]

So Taverner...

Who grassed her?

Moira Tregorian.

She sends her regards, by the way.

- Does she? - No, not really.

Yeah. No, I'm surprised she gave you the time of day.

What did you do? Threaten to unbend her paper clips?

She has a multifunction inkjet wireless printer in her office.

[burps, farts, groans]

[church bell tolling]

You gonna go in?

I don't like funerals.

[sighs] Same.

Especially bullshit sham ones.

I don't know what's more depressing, the being dead bit

or people thinking the most you've achieved in life

is organizing a bus replacement service for a rail strike.

I wouldn't worry.

When we die, nobody is going to think about us at all.

[Nash] So how did you enjoy your visit to the Park,

or the Department for Transport, as we're calling it today?

[Peter] Yes, I rather enjoyed myself.

If you have any thoughts about how we can improve the visitor experience,

do let me know.

I think it's all about the secrecy.

Give everyone an alternative identity at the door.

- [Nash] Poison darts? - [Diana] Thank you.

[Peter] Yes. Laser beam obstacle course. That sort of thing.

- [Nash] Masks. [chuckles] - [Peter] Definitely. That's the future.

- Diana. - Morning.

- Morning. - What are you doing here?

Catching up with old friends.

You know, at school he was said to have fellated more masters than any other boy.

That's quite the achievement when you consider the competition.

Nosher Nash, we used to call him.

Watch him. He'll be spying on you for the PM.

I was beginning to think you were stalking me.

What's your excuse?

These days I can't afford to turn down

an opportunity of dining at someone else's expense.

Oh, come on, now.

You're not casting yourself as the victim, really?

If you remember, you relieved me of a considerable sum of money, Diana.

[scoffs] You took payment from a foreign interest.

I gave you the opportunity to make amends.

Think of it as an investment in national security.

[scoffs]

If your party hadn't reduced the service to penury,

I wouldn't have to look for alternative sources of funding.

You've beggared me, Diana.

Absolutely beggared me...

or at least you would've done,

if the money you took had actually been mine.

What?

Oh, the rich never front their own coin, you must know that.

How do you think they stay rich?

The money you strong-armed out of me,

and used for who knows what shady Park purposes,

came from a dear friend who, hearing of my plight,

offered to step in and stump up what you were demanding.

Hope you didn't use it for anything naughty.

Who was it?

Oh, Peter. Who gave you the money?

Who gave you the money, I think you mean.

The thing is,

he'd really rather his identity was kept sub-rosa for the moment.

I'm sure you understand.

[organ playing]

♪ Lord of all kindliness ♪

♪ Lord of all grace ♪

♪ Your hands swift to welcome ♪

♪ Your arms to embrace ♪

♪ Be there at our homing ♪

♪ And give us, we pray ♪

♪ Your love in our hearts, Lord ♪

♪ At the eve of the day ♪

♪ Lord of all gentleness ♪

♪ Lord of all calm ♪

♪ Whose voice is contentment ♪

♪ Whose presence is balm ♪

♪ Be there at our sleeping ♪

♪ And give us, we pray ♪

♪ Your peace in our hearts, Lord ♪

♪ At the end of the day ♪

[organ playing stops]

[vicar] Please be seated.

And now, David's grandson River is going to say a few words.

[inhales deeply, clears throat]

My grandfather loved his garden...

and my grandmother,

and my mother a-and me.

But the great passion of his life was undoubtedly his work.

Because he cared about people.

He cared about how they lived,

what enabled them to live.

He cared about safety and freedom.

And he saw the national transport system as being fundamental to that,

obviously.

Because without it,

who knows how many of us would even be here today.

Granddad's work in the Department of Transport

often meant him making difficult choices,

and I know many of them weighed heavily on him.

So many different kinds of vehicle...

- [chuckles] - ...t-to think of.

- Cars, buses, trains, planes. - [Jackson chuckling]

- But he... Minibuses. - [laughs]

[River] But he never forgot the losses either.

[whispering] Pretend to be a human being for once.

[River] The ordinary members of the public, for example,

who would hit a pothole that hadn't been filled in.

We'd, uh... He'd missed it. They'd missed it.

I know that Granddad will take those losses with him to the grave.

And I hope he takes our love with him too.

Please stand.

Sorry for your loss.

Thanks. Okay. Thank you.

- [chuckles] You look so smart. - Yeah.

Is it his suit?

Mm-hmm.

He was so proud of you, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, there you are. Where were you two?

You said if we turned up, we'd get a free sausage roll.

You didn't say anything about going inside.

Come on then.

[tense music playing]

[grunts, pants] Hey.

I've got a bone to pick with you.

Next time one of my ex-agents dies,

I would like to hear it from the Park and not on the retired spooks' grapevine.

[Catherine] What?

You know, Struan Loy cremated himself prematurely in a shipping container.

It was an accidental death. There was no need to inform you.

Oh, in the same way there was no need to inform me

that you were sending an estate agent...

- [laughs] - ...to Slough House?

You should try raising veal, Diana.

You like keeping things in the dark.

We are auditing our assets, that's all.

Well, if it's just an audit, why have we been taken off the payroll?

- What? - Yes. And not just the payroll.

All our records, names, service history, operational involvement.

Everything. Gone.

Oh, we-we've been doing an upgrade on the database.

It was just a glitch.

[chuckles] Yeah, David Cartwright,

he might have been an old bastard,

but he had a real nose for First Desk bullshit.

It's times like this I almost miss the fucker.

[laughing] Oh, for God's sake.

I'm not Charles Partner. You won't have to shoot me.

- [chuckles] - [gasps]

[attendees gasping]

Are you okay?

You all right?

No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Thank you. I'm fine.

Thank you. Sorry. No.

It's fine.

- It's fine. - [Diana] Oh...

Sorry.

I thought after God knows how many years in the same office, that she'd know.

You say I like keeping things in the dark.

[sniffles]

[phone buzzing]

- Yeah. - [Roddy] New development.

Struan's not the only dead Horse.

Some old mare called Kay White fell off her boat.

- When? - Last night.

To the bottom of the canal she went.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Oh, come on.

Watching my son bury his granddad.

That's circle of life stuff.

Hey, out of respect for the day, I'm not going to rip your fucking head off

even though I really, really want to.

So, I'm going to ask you again, what are you doing here?

Business.

What do you mean?

With who? With what?

You lost your whole team, remember?

No, with who is none of your business.

As for my team, there's no setback that can't be reversed.

[groaning, coughing]

Your mother didn't show, huh?

I guess it's been a pretty bad day all round.

- I'm sorry, Son. - [coughing, groaning continues]

["Love & Death" playing]