Original subtitles

Last season on Future Man.

Who are you people? The game is a recruitment and training tool sent back

in time. You're going to help us save the world. You're the savior.

The mission is to stop him from getting herpes, prevent him from becoming a

scientist, and that he never creates the cure. I'm really sorry, Sue.

Sorry he doesn't re-swab those urethras. That's enough, Dr. Camillo. I'm sorry,

Dr. Kronish. Sue!

Did I take your bench?

I'm sorry.

No, Sue, it's me. What is going on in this timeline?

Hey, hey, hey, Jay Fuzz! You're home early, bro!

His name is Joosh. That's the chronitorium where the super cure was

engineered, where the biotics were born. No, if someone's going to kill Cronish,

it should be me.

I'll never forget what you did here. When that thing goes green, that means

Cronish is dead and the final charge has been set. Then you guys get back to the

future and do not come back for me no matter what.

I did it!

You did it, huh?

I take you no word from your time-traveling pals, some friends.

Fuck with me again. Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah, you're struggling.

I like that. It just gives me more power.

Take it. Come on.

That's right. There you go.

How's that feel?

Yeah. Shut that big mouth once and for all.

I tricked you with a worm, you idiot.

That's right. I'm a man. You're a fish.

I live in a house. You live in a lake.

There you go. Stop fighting.

Paul?

Oh, jeez.

You know...

This fishing game? This is one of the best fishing games I've ever played.

I've played a shitload of fishing games.

Not on my work time, in my private time. I would never do anything while I'm

working for you, sir.

Okay, cool.

One question, though.

How am I here?

The last thing I remember, I was in prison and there was this... Big flash

of light, right?

Wait, how do you know that?

Let's go over it one more time.

When you were in prison, you started seeing these flashes of light and having

seizures. Okay.

Yeah, it was terrible. You know, gave you complete memory loss.

Doctors figured out it was because of the nuts in your prison food. Yeah, I

mean, I have a nut allergy, but it doesn't give me seizures.

Well, you have too many nuts.

You shake like a maraca. So the prison had to decide whether or not to hire you

a private chef or send you home under house arrest. But they figured, you

know, hiring a private chef for the Corona bomber, it's a PR nightmare.

So they sent you home.

And that wasn't a PR nightmare?

It's kind of like a pick-your-poison thing, you know, because now you're

eating nut-free meals, but occasionally you'll see these flashes of light, and

then you'll forget everything, and I'll explain it to you, and it's super

boring. I've, like, told you this story, like, 15 times.

Okay, and you and Tracy still work for me?

No, yeah, Tracy had a problem working for a terrorist.

Me? Not so much. As long as the check's clear, I'm still your man, J-Foats.

Hmm.

But if I'm on house arrest, why don't I have an ankle bracelet on? I mean,

what's to stop me from just walking out the door?

The bullet I'd put in the back of your skull.

Just kidding.

I'd just pop your knee clean out.

Pauly, is he seizing up again?

Yeah, we got a regular Lucy Whitmore over here. That's the character

portrayed by Drew Barrymore in the film. 50 First Dates. Please don't tell me you

forgot that.

So you're, like, my personal guard now?

Bingo. Whoa, Vermont fishing hole.

Hey, any nipples, Paulie? Pull up a pole, find out yourself, my friend.

Wait, wait, hang on a second. That doesn't make any sense.

Prisons have to deal with food allergies on a daily basis. There must be

thousands of options that are better than sending me home.

I'm a convicted terrorist.

I was given 101 consecutive life sentences, and USA Today said that I was

the most hated man in America.

Ooh, and the New York Post said you little boy blue.

B-L-E-W.

Because you blew up the building, and you're small in stature.

Okay, so the terrorist gets the door.

Oh, shit!

Peenies! I didn't know they were in season.

Neither did I.

I'm gonna have to pick up some of those for the widow Santiago.

Stu Camillo?

Stuart Gavin Camillo?

Ooh, who's that, old flame?

No, this is a guy that I used to work with, but I have no idea why he would

send me flowers.

Hmm, but why do you think he might send you flowers?

I don't know. I just... Thought he always kind of hated me.

Objection.

Speculation.

Let's get into the real. Yeah. Why does this guy hate you?

I really don't know. He was just always a dick to me. Really?

For no reason. Why do you care?

Don't you find it curious that a man you considered a dick would purchase this

tasteful floral arrangement?

Clearly this isn't a gas station impulse buy.

Yeah. These are Mallorcan peonies. Do you know what the street value of these

are? I don't. No.

$12.50 a bulb.

I think I'm gonna go upstairs and lie down a little. This is all just sort

of... Wait!

Don't you want to write them a thank you note first?

What? Yeah.

Etiquette dictates when someone sends you flowers, you write them a thank you.

Since when?

Everyone knows you gotta write a note before the last petal falls.

I don't want to say anything to Stu. Okay, fine, fine. I'll write.

Dear Stu, thank you for the...

magnificent Mayor Campini's. Now, I'd like to add something personal, maybe

like a little inside joke that you and Stu share.

What would that be? What is the deal with you guys and Stu?

I barely even knew the guy.

Whoa, hey, calm down, man. We're all friends here.

Yeah, you're all getting defensive about this Camillo fella.

What does he have on you?

Or you on him?

Nothing. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Answer our

questions about Stu Camillo and this will all be over. Stop.

Stop. Stop walking at me.

Hey. Die, resistance.

Stop!

Ninja star.

I

give that

entrance.

Two stars.

What the hell is happening, guys?

Skarsgard and Paul were biotics. I thought we saved the future.

We did.

It's the present that's in danger.

Your present.

Nice PJs.

All right.

Before we blew up the chronatorium, biotics executed murder protocol one.

Oh, I don't like how that sounds at all. Yeah, no, you shouldn't. They activated

every biotic sleeper agent in the world for one singular mission.

Killing you.

What?

Why? I'm being John Wicked? You must have sent your picture out before we

blew up the lab.

Called the last gasp of a dying civilization.

Okay, but the future you guys went back to... Oh, it's perfect.

Everything we dreamed of.

Really? Yeah.

It's a utopia inside of a paradise.

We have robot butlers.

Tiger, that's... Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. They're programmed

not to turn on us. Wow.

We saved the world.

You know, when I was in prison, I hoped against hope, and it kept me going,

but... but knowing for sure... makes everything we went through worth it.

Kevin.

Wait, if the future was perfect, then why... why'd you guys come back for me?

Because you were in trouble, little buddy.

We looked up what happened to you. Oh, man.

It was tough living our lives, knowing those two had killed you so

horrifically. Yeah, you see, first rule of murder protocol one is to disrespect

the body.

Oh! Yeah.

Where are my ears?

Oh, no, they're right... There they are.

Right inside that.

So... Oh, God, okay.

No teammate of ours is gonna die like that. No. No, no, no. Thank you, guys.

Hey, do you have any food?

Yeah.

What the hell did you do to these vegetables?

I poked them in duck fat.

That was so good.

Can't remember the last time I had real food.

Well, get used to it.

I'm going to be cooking like this all the time, using fresh local ingredients

wherever we go.

Go.

I mean, shouldn't I be, like, laying low and hiding out if biotics are hunting

me? I'd wait for them to come to us. Fuck no. We're bringing the fight to

them. Yeah, they're spread all around the world.

From the white sand beaches of Rio de Janeiro to the great pyramids of Giza.

We're gonna go to all those places?

How many sleepers are left?

Well, after this little episode, 12.

Each in a location more exotic than the last.

You know, I sort of just feel like...

Bringing me to them might be putting me in, like, unnecessary danger. Well,

that's where things get real interesting.

Because once you inject this, they'll be the ones in danger.

CATG-6, a.k.a. Globby Plast 9, a.k.a. Super Serum 14.

It's gonna make you faster, stronger, smarter, and you'll be able to walk into

a room and feel instantly confident, no matter the situation.

Really? Yeah.

This is awesome.

This is incredible. We're going to be kicking ass side by side, just the three

of us? Not exactly.

Got the Shield Sphere app? Should keep us off their scanners for now.

There'll be four of us.

Meet Fox, new tech expert. She may look like a nerd, but you'll be glad to have

her when she hacks us into the Kremlin.

Hi.

Putterman. Josh Putterman.

Welcome to my time.

A little bit of luck.

Maybe it'll become yours.

I like the click of your keyboard.

But be careful.

My spell check doesn't miss a word.

Oh, we'll have to anti-disestablishmentarianism that.

Serum's working.

Instant chemistry.

All right, I've triangulated the location of our first target.

The Ice Hotel in Helsinki.

Ah, yeah, I've always wanted to visit. Well, you better pack a parpa.

and a tuxedo this is a shadow op threat level nine youtube pausing his newlyweds

infiltrating a nordic sex cult murder protocol one dictates to kill on sight

no questions asked we're really gonna have to sell newlyweds with insatiable

sexual appetites are you up for that i mean yes i will try

wait did you say kill on sight no questions asked

Because those two asked me a bunch of questions. What are you talking about?

This whole morning, they could have just killed me, and instead they asked me a

bunch of questions about Stu Camillo.

Why would they ask about Stu?

I don't know, but they were extremely persistent.

No, I don't like this one bit. What are they planning? If they're breaking MP1,

it must be important.

Fox, hack into the internet.

Find out everything you can about Stu Camillo. Already on it.

You didn't tell him anything important about Stu, did you?

Oh, no, no, no. I don't know anything important about Stu. What does he have

on you? Or are you on him?

What does he have on him?

Or you on him?

Uh, nothing.

No, no, no, nothing. Um... But I did just remember that I... I think I have a

Patagonia gift card upstairs in my room.

I'm gonna go grab it. Gear up for Helsinki.

Back in a jiff!

What?

I know you got it somewhere.

Splink!

What the fuck is happening?

Oh, Josh, come on. We're finding all kinds of great stuff here on the

internet. Cool.

Hey, um, you know, I just thought of something that actually might be really

useful about Stu.

Really? What?

It was something that you told me that he told you when you guys went on that

date. Remember the whale-watching date?

Yeah, well, he said a lot of things, so what specifically?

Yeah, I can't remember. You said it was something that was really, really

important, and he told you right before the humpback charged your boat. Well, to

be honest, after I saw that angry spout, it just all went blank.

Wrong. You've never seen a spout. You are never this nice to me, and you?

You're Splink Girl.

What the fuck is going on? Somebody give me some answers.

This will all be over soon. Just tell us why you would be a threat to Stu

Camillo. You must know his weakness.

Some of his secrets.

I don't know anything about Stu Camillo, okay? He's a tertiary character in my

life. Tell us.

He's tertiary.

God damn it. Stop talking. No!

He's tertiary.

I told you not to repeat the question sequence, and you made him suspicious.

You're worse than Hera. Don't compare me to Hera. Too late. I already did. How

long until the simulation reboots? I don't know. He glitched the whole thing.

Glitched it? He crashed it.

Oh, shit.

We're gonna need Apollo?

You're safe now.

Let me get this neurocap off you. You'll be a lot more comfortable.

The hell was that?

Where am I? That was a simulation.

Crafted from your own consciousness, but controlled by outside operators.

And you are in a cave.

Don't squirm.

It only makes the cerebroderm stickier.

I can't remember coming here. We had to remove a small portion of your memory so

you would not suspect you were in a sip.

Don't worry. It's just spinal fluid.

There.

Good as new. No, bad.

Bad. Still bad.

Who are you?

What the fuck is going on?

My name is Athena, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I assure you, it was

for your own safety.

The truth is so shocking. We felt assimilation was a more humane way to

ease you into it. I really think you should lie down for this.

Okay.

My comrades and I traveled back in time to find you because we believe you may

be the only person with the skills to save our world.

The savior.

I know, it boggles the mind.

But you must believe me. In 2026, Dr. Stu Camillo will create a super cure for

all diseases leading to a global war.

Between the ones who receive the cure and the ones who don't?

Well, yes, exactly. But there's no way you could possibly know that.

Yeah, I know it because I lived it.

God damn it, it didn't work.

I don't understand.

I fought.

I struggled.

I suffered. I sacrificed. I saw a girl's head get blown up in my face, and I end

up in the exact same place.

Okay, so... Stu was the new Cronish. Same shit, different fucking timeline.

So you're a time warrior?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

Then you know the stakes we face.

The fate of humanity is in the balance. We need you.

You know, after spending a year in the prison for the criminally insane, for

apparently no reason, I don't really feel like being a savior anymore.

That's the last thing I wanted to do.

Rest.

Seriously?

Great way to treat your savior, thank you.

Here. Eat something.

I'm not hungry.

Being in the sim cranks your metabolism 14.6 times normal. You're in a caloric

freefall. You risk hypo-autocannibalization.

All right, how about this?

How about I start by gnawing on my fucking leg?

Why am I shackled to the bed?

The restraint is for your safety.

I once saw a man flail so violently from post-sim hallucinations, he shattered

his femur.

The jagged bone ripped right through the meat of his thigh. All right, fine,

just... Leave it on.

Easy on the liquids.

The tranq we gave you can lead to bladder control issues.

I play a lot of video games, okay?

I have no problem holding my you.

Understood. You know, putting me in that sim and making me think that I'd saved

the world was pretty mean.

We didn't make you think you saved the world. That part was a projection of

your own subconscious.

All we controlled were the questions about Stu. You filled in the rest. So

you... You hijacked my brain just to ask me questions about Stu Camillo?

Yes, but the simulation told us so much more.

We thought it was something you knew.

It turns out it's something you are.

What am I?

That's what we're here to find out. There's a power in you greater than any

we've ever seen.

Like a superpower?

Exactly.

Now, I understand you've been through something like this before.

And I know why you're hesitant to try it again. But if you'll join us, I promise

you, it'll be different this time. You won't end up behind bars.

You'll end up in the history books.

As the greatest hero the world has ever known.

And if I say no?

We'll wipe your memory and put you right back in prison.

You can do that? Of course.

The only side effect would be the lingering sensation that something was

off. But you would never really be able to tell what it was. It would just be

there, gnawing at you.

Never more than a shadow.

That sounds like it would drive me insane.

Okay.

Okay, if I do this, it is not to make it into the history books.

It's to make sure there's still a history to be written about.

Inside of history books.

Well said, Josh.

So, does that mean you're in?

Call me Josh.

I'm in.

Welcome to the Pointed Circle.

Pointed Circle?

That's a cool name.

Oh, that also explains the, uh, Pointed Circle.

Yeah.

There's some others who are going to want to meet you.

Odin, Vishnu, Muluku, Zeno.

Yeah, I'd love to meet the whole gang.

And as a member of the Pointed Circle, you'll need a codename as well.

Okay.

How does Jesus sound to you?

He's a little risky.

Mama?

Yeah, Jesus is fine. Good.

Eat your supper.

I'll return soon with the others.

Oh.

Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Shit. Shit.

I can't be seeing you like this.

Juicer's on board. We need all techs working on an upload machine.

You're so convinced this will work, but how do you know he's the one?

We crash the simulation in less than ten minutes.

We harness that power and use it to bring down the entire system, then we

strike. The attack is on launch day. We'll need to weaponize him before then.

It'll take some time to replicate the induction cortex.

You'll have to keep him calm till then. That won't be a problem.

Okay.

Because this procedure will 100% kill him.

Kill him? Soldiers die for lesser causes.

This death will be the first, but it won't be the last.

A war is coming.

It's time we took back control.

Oh god, they're gonna kill me.

Nighty-night.

Let the door open.

When they ripped out your tongue, did they get your brain, too?

I can't.

You know what?

Don't. Spread out. Search the halls. He can't have gotten far.

Achilles will hear of this.

God, it stinks in here.

Yeah, I know. This cave is nasty.

I don't like it.

You know last week, I caught Apollo pissing in that corner?

I do not let him near me.

Did you do

that?

Cyrus, Ganesh, check that out.

Hachi machi.