Original subtitles

New deal, huh? This fella Roosevelt's just trying to get the banks out of a

jam, that's all. What about the rest of us fellas?

If I was down there in Washington, boy, I'd show them something different. Says

you.

Hey, Mary, go easy on that till, will you? Is this all you've got?

Well, business ain't so hot this morning.

Holding out on me, eh?

Oh, I, uh... You see, the bank's being closed. I thought I'd save that for a

rainy day.

Well, it rained this morning.

Oh, listen.

I'll be the bank for this family until the regular one's open.

What are we having for dinner?

How would you like corned beef and cabbage?

I don't like it. Well, that's what you're going to get.

Smart gal.

Hey, what are you doing? You've been so busy making speeches, you can't keep

your mind on the game.

Give me those cameras.

And a box of Mimos, please. I'm in a hurry.

Huh? Oh, yeah. Hold your horses. Here you are, Pete.

Thanks. I'll be in this afternoon, after I smoke these up. So long.

So long.

Yeah, I'll, uh... Oh, you want Mimos? Here's a box, please.

Say, isn't your name Joe Gimlet?

That's me.

Well, I'll be gee willing.

Don't you know me?

Take a good look.

Ted Wright from Coraline.

Ted Wright!

I've been reading about you in the papers, though. You've been doing some

pretty big things. Paying up plenty of coin, huh?

Say, how's Mary?

Still with you? Sure.

How's Alvina? Fine. We're over at the Babylon.

Pretty soft for you.

Say, there's an idea. Why don't you go over and have dinner with us tonight,

huh? Alvina'd be delighted to have you both.

Well, I don't know. Then we can reminisce and talk about old times, huh?

Say, you know, I ain't been back to call it since Ma died.

You haven't, huh?

Now, listen, I'll expect you tonight. We'll have a regular celebration.

How about 7 o'clock? Will that be all right? Sure.

We'll be there with bells on. Fine. Nothing formal, you know, Joe. Just the

little black tie.

You know, the black and the tuxedo.

Oh, sure.

Sure.

So long, Joe.

So long.

How do I look?

Swell.

Put a little more of this business on, why don't you? Oh, no, no.

Oh, those society people go on heavy for that red paint.

Come on, let's get going.

Mademoiselle? We gonna take a taxi?

Are you nuts or something?

It's only a 15-minute walk to the hotel.

Just stop, stop crabbing. That wasn't much of a walk. Oh, you'll have to.

So you found your way.

Say, this is some dump you got here.

So this is Mary.

How do you do, Mr. Wright? Ted is the name, my dear.

Lena, you remember this lady?

Why, yes, indeed.

How are you, Mabel?

Mary. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Won't you take off your thing? Oh, thank you. Let me help you. I can manage.

And, uh, Joe?

I'm so glad to see you. This is marvelous.

Well, you can knock me down with a fender.

Mr. Holmes?

Mr. and Mrs. Gimlet? How do you do?

Old friends from Corliss. We sort of grew up together. Ted and I came out of

the same flowerpot, you might say.

No, thank you. Oh, go ahead. Baby, take one. That's good liquor. Don't be afraid

of that.

Really, it's uncanny.

The same identical Joe Gimlet of 22 years ago.

I ain't changed a bit, have I? Not a bit. You look just as you did when you

served me sodas in Mr. Cradwell's drugstore.

Cradwell.

How does it feel to meet an old girlfriend after all these years?

Oh, so you remember, huh? Remember?

When I tried to win you away from Mary?

And that summer morning when I brought my father to the drugstore to offer you

a chance to invest in his real estate development?

That's the kind of a sap I was.

That $400 was every nickel I had in the world and I was afraid to lose it. Can

you imagine that? I think we'd better go down and eat, don't you?

Yeah, let's eat.

Say, I'll look to stick your money for a joint like this, don't I? Well, it's a

little fancier than the old Corliss Hotel.

Oh, boy, this is the life.

you about the time joe and i made a blind date with two girls that called up

the drugstore the

fun

we

had you know the town's changed a lot but i'd remember it just as it was 20

years ago did you get it done sovino oh yes

You don't mind, do you, dear?

No, no, go ahead.

I suppose you'd think I was just polite if I said I envied you.

Not only polite, but nuts.

Joe. Well, that's my psychology.

What is it, envy about us, I ask you? I envy you because you're just the same as

you used to be.

Life hasn't changed you.

You're Joe and Mary from Corliss, just the same as when I saw you last.

That's pretty nice, you know.

Two people living together all their lives, with nothing in the world but

just each other.

That's a good deal, I think.

Well, if I was sitting around with a gold hat on like you and a million

berries in the bank, I'd figure it that way, too.

I'll tell you what.

We'll go upstairs and have a drink, and we'll talk a little, eh?

Oh, what about the wife?

They'll follow.

That's from before the war, Joe.

Napoleon Brandy. Well, here's mud in your eye, Ted.

Oh, boy.

That takes me back to Mademoiselle's mom in tears.

Now that Holmes is gone, the girls are empowering the noses.

Something I'd like to ask you, Joe.

Go ahead. I know all the answers.

You got any money?

Well, not on me.

No, I mean saved up.

4,000 smackers.

You know, seeing you and Mary like this makes me feel as though I'd like to do

something for you.

Well, as the lady said to the sailor, nothing's stopping you.

Let me have that for her, and I'll invest it for you.

Well, I'd have to consult the missus, Ted, you see.

Mary's got it all tied up, you know what I mean.

What's the nature of this investment?

It's an aluminum deal we're underwriting.

Uh-huh. Well, that's very good stuff.

That $4,000 should make you roughly about $20,000 in a few months.

$20,000?

I might even be able to make you $100,000 before the end of the year.

Would you like that?

What do you mean, would I like that?

I'd be absolutely frank with you. I'd be nuts about it.

I'm in.

Wait a minute.

I'd better see Mary first.

Oh, thank you so much, Alvina.

Hey, Mary.

Yes? Excuse me, Alvina. I got some hot news for you. Can I see you a minute?

Give me. Give me.

Listen, I was just telling Ted about that four grand we got in the bank, see,

and he's got a big aluminum deal on, and we figured out that if I invest it with

him, the net profits ought to amount to about 20 grand the next couple of

months. And after that, if we string along, why, we continue to clean up. You

get it? You mean take it out of the bank? Sure, just as soon as they open

up. But that's all we've got.

You see, we've saved it up for more than 15 years. Next, next, we can't lose, I'm

telling you. How about it, Ted? Well, this is more or less of a certainty,

Mary. Yeah, more or less.

No, we can't.

Thanks just the same.

Hey, listen, will you?

A guy like Ted Wright don't make mistakes.

Joe, please.

Let's not talk about it now.

Holy sharks. Can you beat that?

It's all right.

Oh, never mind.

Listen, I'm going to get that doll.

Don't worry.

Don't pay attention to her, Ted. I'll fix it.

You got the address?

Good night.

Well, listen to me, kid.

Ah, about that four grand. I can't do it, Joe, and I won't let you.

Well, it's my money, ain't it? Shh, don't yell, Sal. He'll hear you. Oh,

what do I care about him? Ted Wright said it was a certainty.

What chance have we got to lose?

I'm asking you, what chance have we got to lose?

Joe, please.

I worked just as hard to save that $4,000 as you did, and I'm not going to

risk losing it.

You said there wasn't any risk.

Don't you know that the bread lines are just full of people that didn't think

they were taking any risks?

Just because I want to improve our condition and have a little fun before

we die, you've got to go and crab it.

I felt it in my bones something like this was going to happen. That's why I

didn't want to go in the first place. Listen.

Are you going to give me that dough or not?

Don't drink anymore.

Now I want some sleep.

Joe. Now listen, that $4,000 is just as much mine as it is yours. And it's going

to stay mine and yours.

Now leave me alone.

What? Now look, I never did much squawking, did I?

You know, I could be where Ted Wright is, riding on top of the world with a

gold hat on, and I turned it all down for you, didn't I?

Didn't I?

I wouldn't put up the $400 with Alvina's old man. Oh, no.

You know where I'd be today?

Married to her.

Servants, limousines, yachts.

Yeah, yachts. That's what I'd have. And I gave it all up just for you.

Joe, please.

You're drunk.

Now, now when I... I ask you to do the least little thing for me. How do you

show your appreciation?

Listen, baby.

I won't listen. I want some sleep.

I'm tired out. I'm not going to sleep until I get this thing settled.

How long?

You think I'm going to let you sleep? You're crazy.

Come on. Why don't you take a chance? Just this once.

We don't want to live like stick in the mud the rest of our lives. Will you go

away?

We ain't human beings living like this. We're like animals under the ground. Now

you got a chance to get out of it and you won't take it.

You know why?

Because you're afraid.

You're yellow.

That's why.

You're afraid.

You're the one that's yellow.

complaining about everything, and sorry you didn't marry Elvina.

You've forgotten about all the things I've done with that, just so we can save

that money for a rainy day.

So I'm yellow, huh?

Now wear me out when you know I'm dead for some sleep. So I'm yellow, hmm.

Well, just where was this Ted Wright when I was having so much fun in the

Argonne? Answer me that.

Well, he was in Washington keeping his feet dry. That's where he was.

I wish I could live my life over again. I'd let you have your albina and

everything else you'd get with it, too. Well, if I had my life to live over

again, I'd go after the dough. That's what I'd do, get myself some real

happiness. I wouldn't be the dumb cluck I've been. I'd live it right.

I'd marry for dough like this Ted Wright and grab, grab, grab everything you can

get. Nobody would call me yellow then.

Joe.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean all that, but you made me. That's all right. It's all

right. You said it. Now we know just where we stand.

I just bend the sap.

That's all.

Okay, mademoiselle.

Huh.

What are you doing?

Marking the date.

I'm gonna get drunk, and I'm gonna stay drunk till you kick in with that dough

beginning March 6th.

On my way, blight and gank. Joe, don't go. Not like this. You'll be sorry if

you do. One side, mademoiselle. I'm A-W-O-L.

What's that?

Oh, Sean.

All right, let him have it.

Slowly, please.

Amen.

Got my way.

What's wrong, Sonny?

Ma, if you only knew how glad I am to see you again.

What's the matter? Didn't you sleep well?

It changed a bit, Ma.

Nothing has.

Why should it?

You're not thinking of running away again?

Oh, no, Ma.

I never want to leave you again.

Hold me tight.

So I can stay here with you like this always.

Land sakes, Joe, you're getting mighty affectionate all of a sudden. Must have

had dreams that frightened you.

Sure, that's what it is.

It's all a dream.

Well, you better stop worrying about it and eat your eggs and sausage before

they get cold.

And you gotta hurry, or you'll be late for the store.

No orange juice?

No what?

No fruit juice? Oh.

I forgot.

I told you not to stay out so late if you wanted to wake up with a clear head.

That's why.

How late was I out?

Must have been 10 o'clock when we heard you coming in.

Who's we?

Me and Effie.

Effie?

There's your paper.

Nothing in it except about Roosevelt.

What's he up to now?

Coming back from Africa.

What's he doing in Africa?

Shooting lions.

Roosevelt is?

He only just got to Washington.

What?

Wait a minute.

What Roosevelt is that?

There's only one.

What's come over you this morning?

Oh, yeah.

Teddy.

I remember him when I was a kid.

I'm going to call Doc Henderson.

Oh, no, Ma. Wait a minute.

Don't call her. Don't call her, Doctor. I'm all right. I was only fooling.

Hello? Give me Doc Henderson. I forget the number. Oh, Ma, won't you leave well

enough alone?

Now, listen, Ma.

Ma, listen. I don't need any doctor.

Yes.

Joe's very sick.

Once more.

They got your tongue.

Well, it ain't my tongue, Doc. I know what's the matter with me.

It must have been what I drank last night was bootleg.

Bootleg? Yeah.

You'd think Ted Wright would have good stuff, wouldn't you?

Well, you're trying to get us confused, son.

Well, yeah.

Now, look, Mom, I want to talk to the doc alone.

You go on out.

I'll see you later.

Now, listen, Doc.

This ain't me, see?

What? I say, this ain't me, I'm telling you. I live in New York, and I'm 44

years old. I used to live here until I moved away 20 years ago.

You remember when I went to the war overseas?

You were there when I went.

Listen, Doc, I know better than this.

I'm running a cigar store in New York, and I'm doing pretty good.

Yet here I am, where I started, and you've got to get me back.

Sit down, Joe.

Sit down.

Now, listen, you've got to pull yourself together and stop talking.

Don't talk to anybody.

Don't encourage these fits.

And when you feel one coming on, just say to yourself, I am not going crazy

like my pa.

I am going to see things as they really are.

Then you'll feel all right.

You understand?

Sure. I mean, people would think I'm a little off, a little nuts, a little

screwy, and it would put me in a bug house, huh?

Yeah. Well, it's something like that.

I'm not going to give him a chance, see?

I asked for this and I got it. And I'm going through with it.

Only this time, I'm going to get the dough.

That's what I'm going to do.

Thanks, Doc. You've done me a lot of good. You see? You see?

You're feeling better already.

You're telling me.

Here, take this down to Doc Cradwell and have him put it up.

And take it before meals in lukewarm water.

Clean you out good. All right, Doc, I'll take it along. So long, I got to go to

work now.

I'll be seeing you.

Morning, Joe. How's your ma?

Oh, she's fine. Fine, Mr.

Perlis.

Good morning, Mr. Jim.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hello, Mr. Mazarin. How are you? Morning, Joe.

You're mighty friendly this morning.

General, we are here.

Thought you were coming early this morning to open up the store.

Hello there, old boy. How I... You look just the same.

Don't see what good you are around here.

Always sleeping late, never shown any ambition.

When do you think you're going to end up with these actions?

Now go on, get busy. Dust things off.

Don't know what the world is coming to. I didn't realize the old place looked so

ratty. Oh, now, don't fly off the handle, Mr. Cradwell.

I got some brand new ideas about running a drugstore. We ought to sell bathing

caps, alarm clocks, and sandwiches.

You want to sell sandwiches in my pharmacy?

I can make things hum around here. Then we'll hum around here as it is.

Drugstore's no place for doohickeys.

And don't consume so many of those sodas. Yesterday you consumed four.

Now, good morning, missus.

Oh, Daddy, I can hardly wait. Come on in and tell him.

All right, daughter, I'll be right in.

You!

Hello, Joe.

Hello, Elvina. How are you?

Would you like a little soda?

Yes, make a chocolate.

I just had the most marvelous ride all the way to Evergreen and Banks without

breaking down one.

We almost ran over Effie, too. We were going so fast.

Oh, Effie. Is Effie all right?

Listen, Joe, before Dad comes in, I've got something marvelous to tell you.

Well,

I told him everything about us.

Oh, what did you tell him?

Oh, about you kissing me at the barn dance.

Oh, I'd hoped that hadn't happened yet.

Oh, he wasn't mad at all. He's got a proposition to offer you. Oh, Dad, I

told him. Hello, Mr. Evans. How are you? Up and doing, son. Up and doing. Will

you have a little drink? Yes, sirree.

A little of the usual, son.

There it is, right there behind that jar.

Speak easy.

Why should I?

Not so much milk this time, if you don't mind, son.

Riding around in that vehicle is pretty strenuous.

Dad, go on, tell him about the proposition.

Well, son, considering that you and Alvina are a little interested in each

other, I thought I'd give you an opportunity to improve your status.

How much money you got saved up?

Why, I got about 4,000, about 400 smackers, dollars.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll let you invest that $400 in my evergreen development and make you one

of my managers. How about it?

I should stick my 400 bucks in that swamp.

I used to go down there to catch frogs.

Oh, Joe, don't turn it down, please.

Well, I won't press you, son.

I can't do any more and give you the opportunity, can I?

Come along, Alvina. Oh, Dad. Hello. Wait a second. Just a second.

You want to make me a partner in that swamp, that evergreen development for

$400? Well, that's the idea.

Sold.

I was a little blind there for a while. You know, I believe in that real estate

boom, Mr. Evans. Well, I'm glad to hear it. Spoken like a man of vision. Oh,

that's me every time. This time.

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, boy. I almost forgot. What a cluck.

We'll go to the office and we'll grow up the contract. Quicker the better. Here,

Mr. Evans. This is on me this time.

Hey, Joe.

Isn't Mr.

Marvelous, Joe?

Gosh darn, that was a close shave.

I almost turned it down again. Can you imagine?

Isn't it wonderful? You'll be rich in no time.

You said a mouthful, baby.

Mouthful.

Oh, come along, Joe. They've got the automobile started again.

Come on, Effie, old girl. Let up, baby.

You haven't forgotten now.

Joe.

What's the matter, Ma? It's all over town that you've lost your job.

Lost it?

That's a laugh.

Mabel, the exchange operator just told me over the phone that Mr. Cranwell

fired you because you acted crazy and wanted to make a restaurant out of his

store. Fired me? Listen, Ma, I fired him.

You get me? He's way behind the times, got no modern ideas.

But everybody's laughing at you.

They won't laugh long.

I figured it'd be a big guy in this town. You know what I've done? Gone in

business with Mr. Evans.

Yes, sir.

Put all my dough in that new evergreen development.

Oh, Joe, not all of it. Every nickel.

Don't you worry about us, Ma.

They won't laugh when we clean up.

Joe!

God.

Is that Mary?

Hello, Joe.

Gee, Mary, you look sweet.

I'd forgotten how pretty you were.

Never mind the compliments. I want to ask you something.

If it's about my job, it's true. I'm all washed up at Pradwell. I'm going in

business with Mr. Evans.

That's what I heard, but I couldn't believe it.

Let's walk down the street where Ma can't hear us.

What kind of a get-up is that?

That's what I usually wear.

Not for biking.

Girls should wear pants.

You know, shorts.

Cut off right here with bare legs.

Why, Joe Gimlin. Okay, okay, if you want to look that way, but awfully old

-fashioned. I suppose you've been talking to that Alvina.

She's so sophisticated.

Well, she gave me the chance I wanted.

You see, I've got to invest my money with old man Evans because I want to get

rich. Well, you told me you were saving your money to get married on.

I thought you meant me.

Well, I guess I did the last time, but I can't afford to make the same mistake

twice. What mistake?

The same.

Oh, never mind. I know sometimes you don't, but I gotta go through with it

now, even if I have to marry Alvina.

You're in love with her. That's what's the matter. Why don't you admit it? In

love, my eye. The whole thing is I gotta take a different road because I know

what I'll want afterward.

Mary, for the love of Pete, will you forgive me? Will you remember that I

loved you all the time?

Hello, Joe.

Hiya, Mary.

Oh, Ted.

What do you know, Joe?

Plenty. Mary, can I take you downtown and buy you an ice cream soda?

What's the matter?

Been crying? Oh, no.

Mary and I had a little quarrel about something.

Mary. This money won't bring you happiness, Joe.

You oughtn't to treat her like that, Joe.

Mary's a sweet girl.

Well, don't I know it.

Mary, wait.

I'll go with you.

I'm going down that way, too.

Gosh darn this getting rich.

It's harder to do than I figured.

Here's to the happy couple. May all their troubles be little ones.

Joe, you're not supposed to drink to that.

Why not? I got faith in myself, haven't I?

What are you looking at?

Well, what do you know about that?

What?

That's a dame for you.

Well, what do you care what Mary does or who she goes with?

That's right, I don't care.

Don't care what she does, do anything she likes. Mary Chinaman, for all of me.

Come on, let's have some music. What do you say?

How about a little music, fellas? Where's Ben?

There he is. All right, sing us something, why don't you? What do we

sing? Anything to pep the thing up. Go ahead.

Joe,

what's the matter?

Nothing's the matter. I'm just trying to put a little life in the party. Come on,

baby, let's go in here and have a real drink.

Joe,

please don't drink any more.

I've only had two or three.

I know, but you'll get drunk.

Can't a fella get a little drunk on his wedding night?

Well, sir, I never will forget that order to charge.

We spread out ten feet between each soldier and started up that hill with

Teddy Leedman. What hill was that?

San Juan, sir. We held our fire for the first ten minutes. So you were in...

I was indeed, Mr. Gimbley. Me too. I was at Sand Hill.

What's the matter with you, Joe? You weren't in the war.

You were too young.

Joe, they're laughing at you.

I wasn't in the war.

Go on, buddy. Tell them what we did in the Argonne there. Tell them about the

Germans coming through those woods. Why, we never had any war with Germany.

Certainly we had a war with Germany. Don't you remember?

those machine guns and a liquid fire and a hundred million airplanes overhead

spitting down on us.

Don't you?

Good night, Alvina. Oh, you're going? Yes.

Good night, Joe.

I wish you every happiness. Congratulations.

Oh, thank you, Ted. I guess Mary and I will be doing this pretty soon, too.

No, Mary!

Well, good night. Come on, Ted.

Good night, Joe.

Isn't that lovely, Joe?

They're going to be married.

You want to know something?

I could take her right away from them if I wanted to, but I don't want to.

Because why?

Because I ain't going to end up this time.

Somebody called me yellow because I ain't got any dough.

What are you talking about?

Plenty. I've been all through that.

Joe, are you in love with Mary?

I was for 22 years, and she didn't appreciate it. Joe!

Well, I...

Didn't I tell those fellas in there to sing something happy?

What's the matter with you? What's the idea of singing all them old songs?

What do you want us to sing? Sing something lively.

Something with a little pep in it.

Well, we know my old Kentucky home.

Oh, no, no. Something that's got some life in it. Like Tony's wife.

Tony's wife? Yeah. Who is she?

Oh, that's a song. And Tony...

Sounds to me like you're married a lunatic. How do I go upstairs?

No!

Come on, son.

Come on. This ain't me, I tell you. I've been married before, and my wife don't

appreciate me.

Joe! Take him upstairs.

No, we can get him.

That's got to... Joe!

Come on, talk to him. I want to... Joe!

There, there, daughter.

He'll be all right in the morning.

And furthermore, I am not interested in any aviation schemes.

It's going to be a long time before anybody can make any money out of it.

Not interrupting, am I? Oh, just a minute, Alvina.

I do not... Where was I?

Before anybody can make any money out of it. Oh, yes, yes.

It's going to take years and years to perfect.

It'll be a long, long time before the public feels that they're safe enough to

fly, and therefore we can't make any money out of it. That's all. You're

sincere. You said that before, sir. All right, say it again. That'll be all now.

Well, aren't you going to kiss me?

Oh, yes, yes. That's right.

You ready to go?

Go? Go where?

Have you forgotten you promised to go with me to Millicent's luncheon party?

Oh, listen, baby. Look at all this work.

I got a chance to clean up, to make a pile.

And I can't do it and go to parties. That's all you think about, money.

Listen, I made a mistake once. I ain't gonna repeat.

When did you make a mistake?

Well, the last time.

I mean, I'm... I'm sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds.

Mr. Cord, this is my daughter.

How do you do? And this is my son-in-law, Mr. Gimlet. How do you do,

Mr. Cord? Now, Alvina, will you run along and ask Millicent to excuse me,

will you? Well, I guess I'd better if you're going to talk business again.

Goodbye, Mr. Cord. Goodbye, Daddy. Goodbye. I'll see you at dinner time.

All right, Mr. Cord.

What's on your mind?

Do you know anything about automobiles, Mr. Gimlet?

Well, yes and no.

Well, I've got a motor here that's going to cut the cost of manufacturing

automobiles 60%. And with this engine, it'll be possible to sell that car for

$300.

$300.

What did you say your name was?

Cord.

What's your full name?

Henry Cord.

Cord. You're sure it ain't...

Just a minute.

Boy.

Henry Cook.

Gosh darn it.

I don't see him just right.

We can fill the roads of the country with this car.

It'll climb hills, cross rivers, and rattle its way around the world.

Did you say rattle?

That's it.

All right, J.E., this is our chance. That's a pure gamble. I don't think we

can afford to invest so much money. Okay, if you don't want to invest in it,

I do. Let me see those blueprints, Mr. Coyne. Spread them right out.

Smoldering hate long existent between Serbia and Austria was fanned to a new

flame. The assassins shot the heir presumptive to the Austrian throne after

an earlier bomb... after an earlier bombing attempt had failed.

Well, I don't see what that's got to do with us.

You don't, huh?

A man alive, that is probably the most important piece in the newspaper that

you've ever read in your entire life. There's going to be a war, and this

shooting here is what's going to set off the whole powder mine.

So you're now a student of foreign affairs, are you?

Student, nothing, I'm a graduate. I'm telling you, they're all going to start

fighting, and there's going to be the biggest demand for trucks that you ever

heard of. A truck war, eh? Why, we don't make trucks. Well, that's just it.

Consolidated does.

Now, this fellow Holmes has offered us 10% of their stock in a merger.

must be him now again.

Good evening, Mr. Holmes.

I'm Mrs. Gimlet.

Charming. I had no idea I'd meet so delightful a lady.

That's very kind of you.

I do hope you won't let them talk business all evening.

Business? I couldn't keep my mind on business with you here. Hello, Holmes.

Glad to see you again.

Am I late? I was detained by longest in telephone. Ah, it's okay, as long as the

dinner ain't burned.

Oh, uh, meet my son-in-law, Mr. Gimlet.

Hi. How do you do? Mr.

Cord. How do you do? Mr. Cord. Say, haven't I seen you someplace before?

Your face looks kind of familiar.

Well, it's possible I could have forgotten you, but I never could have

forgotten your charming wife.

Let's go into dinner, shall we?

You know, Mr. Holmes, I've been... Well, Mr. Holmes, you've offered us 10% of

Consolidated for our Cord Gimlet plant.

And that's as far as I can go. Mm-hmm. All right, I'll make you a counteroffer.

I'll offer you half of our stock for 50% of your truck business.

Trucks? That's what I said, trucks.

Well, aren't you giving yourself the worst of the deal? Oh, Mr. Holmes.

My husband is really a dreadful man.

Once he makes up his mind, nothing can change him. He just knows it all.

Don't you, darling?

Huh?

Pretty nearly.

Why, Joe, you're out of your mind. There's no future in trucks.

Nobody's making them. Oh, yes, we're making a few.

Well, Mr. Holmes, what do you say?

Well, Mr. Gunther, frankly, I'm more than willing.

Would you mind telling me why you want this sort of deal?

Well, all I can say at this time is that I have faith in the future of trucks.

I think they'll be in great demand.

Boy, and how.

When I look at you men out there, ready to take the field in this great struggle

to save the world for democracy, my heart beats high. You are faring forth

upon a mission that will earn the undying gratitude of the nation. And

last but not least, a man who was born and raised... In this very town, a man

well known to many of you and who has come back to bid you all goodbye, Mr.

Joseph Gimlet.

Gee,

fellas, I wish I was going with you, but I guess it ain't in the cards.

I've been listening to these orators standing up here telling you about the

glories of fighting for democracy.

It made me feel a little sad.

It's all right to talk about glories, but what you're going to find is mud and

more mud and cooties and lots of other things that ain't so nice.

You're going to cross the seas, and you're going to go charging through

barbed wire and muck and weeds, and you're going to chase those heinies out

of gas.

Then you're coming back here.

Most of you.

And when you do, maybe you won't find so much cheering and band playing.

And maybe you'll have just a little trouble finding a job.

I ain't saying, but maybe.

So I tell you what I'm going to do.

I've made a lot of money selling trucks to the Army.

I'm going to give it to you.

I'm going to put one million Somalians in the Corliss National Bank so that

when you come back, every enlisted man here, yes,

and the officers too, can walk up to that cashier's window and draw out 200

bucks for himself, whether he's got a job or not. And I don't...

Does that look like me?

Unfortunately, it does.

Wish I had my silk hat on.

I wouldn't have married you if I'd known you were going to be so crazy.

Well, wait a minute. Let me ask you something.

Just whose money is this? It's just as much mine as yours, more so. And you've

no right to give it away to common soldiers.

So listen, you haven't got any kick coming. I've handed out $100 bills to

you as if they were nickels. Where would you have been if my father hadn't taken

you into partnership?

And he only did it because I persuaded him to. You've got plenty tucked away

for yourself, and why?

Because I gave it to you, that's why.

But I've got to provide for a lot of guys that are going to be up against it

when all this cheering's over.

If there were more people that felt the way I do, I'm... Ah, the two lovebirds.

Hey, you better hurry, Gimlet.

We just have time to catch that train to New York. You want it on the phone, Joe.

Here, you can take it in here. I ain't got time, Pop. Yes, but Washington

called me. I don't know anybody in Washington. Find out who it is. But it's

the White House.

The President's secretary, he says. Mr. Tumulty.

Not Joseph P. Tumulty.

Hello.

Yes, this is me.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir?

The president wants to see me?

Are you sure?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir?

Yes, sir, I'll shake a leg.

What do you know about that?

President Wilson is hollering for me. He's heard what I've done. That's

marvelous. There's a train leaving direct for Washington in 20 minutes.

Okay, let's go.

Oh, so long, Pop.

Thanks for your hospitality.

You coming, baby?

I don't see why I should. The president didn't ask to see me.

I'll see that Mrs. Gimler gets to New York safely.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you better hurry now, Joe. Yes, I'm afraid you'll miss your train if you

don't. I'm not missing a thing.

Goodbye, darling.

Goodbye. Oh, aren't you going to kiss me?

All I got to say to you, baby, is watch your step.

And what's more, Mr. President, those submarines are just a lot of hooey.

Don't let them get your goat because you're not going to lose one single man

getting them overseas.

But you got to look out when this war is over.

Don't let them talk you into going over there yourself.

That's not so hot.

Mr. Gimlet, you're a tonic. You inspire me with confidence.

I feel that you have the gift of vision.

Vision is my middle name, Mr. President. I know what I'm talking about because I

can see what's coming.

But take a tip from me.

Don't let those guys get into you for too much money. Thank you for coming,

Mr. Gimlet.

I wanted to see the man capable of such a superb gesture.

You set the example to other captains of industry.

Hold yourself in readiness, sir.

I may call on you to do something big in this war.

They can't come too big for me, Mr. President.

Good day.

You startled me so.

Well, what's the matter?

You look so queer.

So you've been two-timing me, huh?

Well, what are you talking about? Listen, baby, I'm no Ted Wright. I know

what I've been made a sucker of.

Well, I've been talking to the President of the United States. What have you been

doing? Don't be ridiculous. You know I... Don't tell me I know. Trying to put

one over on me, huh?

Well, Joe, I really think you've gone crazy.

Yeah? Well, laugh this one off.

Well, it's your own fault. You've neglected me. Running around making

speeches, interested in nothing but making money. Well, who's been spending

the money? Who wears the diamonds and the rubies? Who's got three servants?

Just a massage, you're alone.

This is my reward.

I get two times.

Okay, baby.

Get up and start packing.

You're leaving.

What are you doing?

Get me my lawyer.

What do you want a lawyer for?

I want to get a divorce.

Well, go ahead, get your divorce.

I'll not contest it. I'm sick of being married to a vulgar nobody with a lot of

dumb luck. Hello, this is Joe Gimlet. I want to speak to my lawyer, please.

Excuse me, Mr. Gimlet, but some gentlemen want to see you. I haven't got

time. I said I want to speak to my lawyer, please. They're from all the

newspapers, a whole house full.

Newspaper, ma'am?

Well, I guess I better see.

from the press, Mr. Gimlet. We just got word the president has appointed you

head of the War Industries Board with unlimited powers.

Who, me?

Yes, sir.

Holy socks.

We'd like a statement, Mr. Gimlet. Well,

I don't know what to say at this time except that I can save the president a

lot of trouble. I see.

Is there anything else, Mr. Gimlet? No, that's all I have to say at this time,

boys. Just keep in touch with me. Thanks, Mr. Gimlet. Oh, is it anything

important, darling?

Why, yeah.

I've just been appointed head of the War Industries Board. What? Oh.

Won't you pose for us, Mrs. Gimlet? Oh, I'd love to.

The new War Board chief and his wife.

That's all right.

Now, that's going to be fine.

Now, let's see. Oh, pardon me, Mr. Gimlet.

You won't need this.

Thank you.

Would you take his arm, please, Mrs. Gimlet?

The other hand on here. Now, this has to be a good one.

That's right. Now, look pleasant. Now, let's see. That's fine. Just a moment,

boys, please.

Smile, Mr. Gimlet.

Smile. So the country will see how optimistic you are. That's right. Oh,

come, come, come. Make it big, big.

Look happy.

Hold it.

Still.

Thank you, Mr. Gimmons.

Thank you very much, Mr. Gimmons.

Goodbye. Bye.

Go on, get back in bed.

Why? The divorce is off. Never mind that packing.

You think you can come in here and change your mind whenever you like, huh?

Well, you can't dictate to me. Oh, shut up. I forgive you.

I don't want your forgiveness.

Well, you got to take it. I can't afford any scandal. I'm the man of the hour

now. You want to upset the whole war?

What do I care about the old war? Oh, go on. Get back in bed, will you?

We got to be patriotic.

Take a memorandum on the shipping board. Stop building those wooden ships. You're

never going to use them.

Memorandum of Senator Wampler.

Your memo on moral conditions in the AEF received.

How about moral conditions in the Senate? Yours sincerely, Joseph Gimlet.

Urgent. From the French ambassador.

Tell him bonjour. I'll see him tomorrow. Au revoir. The White House is on the

phone, Mr. Gimlet. All right.

Hello? How are you, Chief?

Yes, sir.

I'm sure they're kicking because they're all profiteers.

I know what I'm doing, Mr. President. You leave it all to me and I'll win the

war for you.

All right.

You mean to say you're not dressed yet?

We have to be at General Sutherland's dinner at seven.

Oh, tell the general I can't make it. I'm too busy.

You love to pretend you're important, don't you?

Pretend, huh? Listen, there's a lot of big aides in Washington that know

whether I'm important or not. A little shrimp pretending he's a great big

whale, putting on airs and ordering everybody around.

Well, you can't order me in. What's more, I wish I never married you. I wish

you had your wish.

The senatorial committee is waiting for you, Mr. Gimlet. Oh, okay.

Now, you see, you've been holding me up.

Any more money unless they put up security.

That's treason, Gimlet. Well, I know what's going to happen, and you don't.

Ah, this is nonsense.

You can't throw me out. The president put me here, and he's the only one who

can put me out.

I've just come from the White House.

Read that.

Can you beat that?

Fired.

Well,

they fired you, didn't they?

How did you know?

Everybody knows. Send a paper.

That shows you how they run in this government. They print it before they

even tell you about it. I told you you were making a fool of yourself. Now, I

hope you're satisfied disgracing me in public like this. That's all right. This

war will be over in a few weeks, and they'll know that I was right.

Oh, so now you're going to end the war in a few weeks. Well, that's just about

as crazy as all the other things you've been saying. Well, I don't remember the

exact date, that's all, but it's going to be pretty soon. Then they'll

appreciate me.

They'll be giving me luncheons and dinners and banquets. Yeah, banquets.

Some of the biggest men in this country will be making speeches about me.

They'll parade me up Broadway.

They'll give me medals.

They might even give me the keys to the city. Yes, they might even put you in

the bug house.

They might.

The ship of state has come safe through every storm.

And from now on, our slogan is...

to normalcy. Never has the American people seen such plenty.

Peace and prosperity beyond the fondest dreams of men.

Now that the great engineer is in the White House, you shall see two cars in

every garage, two chickens in every dinner pail.

You ought to know that a banker can't wear anything as young as that. Oh,

slowly, sir.

Good morning, honey.

Hmm, I thought you'd gone out.

I want to ask you something important.

I'm going to get snappy. I've got to get to the bank.

Oh, here, darling, let me help you. Men are so clumsy.

My big banker must look neat and tidy.

Mm-hmm.

What's on your mind?

Spill it. Now, don't be all tempered, dear. Well, I'm in a hurry.

I have a wonderful tip on the market. Oh, lay off.

But it's so silly, Joe, to put all our money in a trust fund when we could make

millions. Oh, those tips are a lot of hooey. But this is a sure thing. There's

not a chance to lose. Mm-hmm. Who says so?

Colonel Holmes. Oh, yes.

Well, he has inside information.

Sure, he knows everything, doesn't he? But he doesn't know there's a crash

coming, and I do.

I should think you'd stop predicting things after making such a fool of

yourself in the war. Well, I said when it would end, didn't I? You also said

they'd give you dinners and receptions. They'd parade you up Broadway and give

you the keys to the city.

Well, they didn't appreciate me. That's always the way with the prophet in his

own country.

But they did appreciate Colonel Holmes, didn't they? He had plenty of dinners

and receptions. Because you deigned to make a hero out of him for handing out a

couple of donuts. That's why.

You think he won the war all by himself?

Justin? He's a national figure, knows everybody that counts.

When he gives you a tip, you ought to have sense enough to appreciate it. Oh,

tips, my eye.

I tell you, the whole world's going to be ruined. They're all going bust.

No stocks for us, baby.

Our dough stays in that good little old trust fund. Oh, ever since you gave up

the motor business and went into banking, you've been impossible.

You're such a fool.

Box of memos.

Keep your shirt on.

Here's your camo. Thanks, Ted. I'll see you later.

Yeah, now, what was it you wanted?

Box of memos.

Well, I'll be gee willikers.

Ted Wright.

What's that?

Don't you know me?

Take a good look.

Not Joe Gimlet. In person.

Well, one of your...

I hear you're doing some big things, making lots of dough.

Oh, that... How's Mary?

Oh, pretty good.

Say, you, you live around here, don't you? Yeah.

You got a little dump upstairs, huh?

Yeah.

Well, say, how do you know that?

Oh, I... Oh, well, you gotta know everything in my racket.

Gosh, I wish we could get together for a little reunion.

Just the three of us. Hey, there's an idea.

Mary's getting dinner ready.

Will she be surprised?

Come on.

Well, this is the duck.

I suppose it looks like a fish trap to you.

Gee, I feel more at home here than any place I've been in a long time. Yeah,

well, never mind the taffy. Make yourself at home. I'll dig out the

missus. Hey, Mary!

Oh, Gimlet, as if you didn't know.

Hello, Mary.

How are you?

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Gimlet.

No harm done.

I've changed a little, I guess. Go on, I recognized him in a minute, didn't I,

Joe? I'll say.

Well, what do you got to eat? Corned beef and cabbage.

Oh.

Oh, but I'll run out and get something else. Oh, no, no, nothing doing.

This is a reunion.

The eats are on me.

Let's all go to a hotel where we can be alone.

Just... Just the three of us. Well, we haven't been out of this dump in ages.

It won't take us a minute to change our clothes. Oh, no, Ted.

I haven't anything decent to wear. Let's eat here.

Eat here? Is that a nice way to treat Joe after all these years? Well, you'll

understand. Oh, sure I will. Anyway, you'd look good to me no matter what you

had on. There, you see?

I'll clean up and change. Be right back.

Well, I'll have to put these things away now.

Fifteen years, ain't it?

Yep.

I ain't forgotten you.

Not for a minute.

Oh, please, Mr. Gimlin.

Do I have to remind you my name is Joe?

Gee, this is a sweet place you got here.

I used to live in a place like this.

I'm glad you like it.

Like it?

You want to know something?

I got four houses. Big ones. Glass doors.

Enough marble in them to furnish a cemetery.

Servants that look like ushers.

I'd trade them all in for a place like this. Oh.

Listen, Mary.

Tell me something.

Honest now.

No stalling.

What is it?

Are you happy?

Why, yes, of course.

Oh. No, don't say it like that.

Well, I'm happy.

Oh, can't you smile when you say it?

Can't you look like you used to? Come on, baby, let's get going. I'm hungry.

I won't be long.

I hope you won't be ashamed of me.

Not a chance.

That's women for you, Joe.

No matter how many clothes you buy them, they never get anything to wear.

Say, Ted.

Yeah? Seeing you and Mary together like this...

Makes me kind of want to do something for you.

Nothing's stopping you.

How much money you got saved up?

About 4,000 bucks. Why?

Why don't you let me invest it for you? I could turn that into about 20 grand in

a few months.

20 grand?

Would you like that?

What do you mean, would I like it? Oh, it's great.

Uh-oh.

I'll have to consult Mary.

You see, we can't draw without mutual consent.

I'll ask her anyway. Oh, no.

No, don't ask her.

She won't agree to it.

How do you know? Well, I know she won't.

Well, because... Well, you know how women are. They don't like to take

chances. Well, what chance would we be taking with you?

Well, none, but she wouldn't do it even if I'd guarantee it. You leave it to me.

Say, Mary.

What is it, Ted? I'm not dressed yet.

Joe just made us a swell proposition.

He wants us to give him the $4,000 that we got saved up, and he'll turn it into

$20,000 in a few months.

What?

It's just a suggestion. You don't have to do it.

But I think it's marvelous.

Oh, Joe, you're the sweetest thing in the world.

I won't be a minute. I'll be right out.

I thought you knew a woman.

Well, that ain't the way she used to be.

Huh?

What are you nervous about, Mary?

Oh, I guess I just don't feel right in this crowd.

Oh, you'll get used to them.

Ted seems to be doing pretty good.

Yes, I never saw him drink so much.

He's just having a great time like everybody else.

They don't know what's going to happen to him.

I've been warning them about the crash, but they just laugh at me.

They'll wake up some morning with a bang.

I'll do anything you say, Barney. I can hardly wait to see my broker.

My dear, I'm letting you in on a sure thing because I like you.

Sweet of you.

I knew Gimlet when he didn't have a beam.

You don't say.

Now he's investing my money for me. Of course you should have a yacht. What do

you care what your yacht is? After all, you have plenty of money now.

There's Joe now. I don't want him to know. He thinks I'm putting everything

into a trust fund.

I present Colonel Holmes. How do you do? How do you do? An old friend of mine can

call us. I'm showing her around.

She might like the view from the roof.

That's where I'm taking her.

You still think that things are going to crash, Joe?

And how?

You've been saying that for the last eight months. Well, that's because I

don't remember the date. I know it's around this time somewhere.

Come on, Dave. I'm thirsty.

Coming.

I knew I shouldn't have come. I didn't want to.

What's the matter now?

Did you see the way she looked at my dress?

Oh, don't pay attention to her.

You look swell.

Are you looking for your wife, Mr. Wright? No, she's with Joe. He's showing

her around.

Yes, they've gone out on the roof.

The lady's husband.

Oh, it's beautiful, Joe.

To be up so high where you can always see the stars and everything.

It's grand.

That bunch in there don't care much about the stars.

Unless there's three stars.

You ought to be very happy with all this.

Money don't bring you happiness.

You said that a long time ago.

You were right.

Don't get any of the things you want.

What more could you want?

Plenty.

Gosh, if I had it all to do over again.

I'd stick to what I had.

What's the matter,

Joe?

Who was crazy when they said there's going to be trouble, huh? Well, what is

it? Nothing, nothing. Not a thing. Just a little stock market crash, that's all.

Been trying to tell you about it for eight months.

Who's the wise guy now?

Let me see.

October the 23rd, 1929.

I'll remember that date this time.

Meridian, 4-1-2-1, quickly.

What are you doing?

I want my brokers.

Hello? Will you get me Mr. Stone immediately?

What's all this about? You haven't got any stock.

Oh, haven't I? Hello?

This is Mrs. Gimlet. What's happened?

Well,

don't you think I'd better sell?

At the market?

Well, what would that be?

No buyers?

When did you get any brokers?

You didn't tell me. He said he must have more margin.

Tell him to sell for whatever he can get. I told you not to monkey with that

market. But, Joe, everything we have is there. You've got to protect it.

Not that money I gave you to put in the trust fund.

We haven't any trust fund. I've been putting the money in stocks because I

thought you were such a fool.

Gosh.

And I thought that was all salted away.

Well, what are we going to do?

I should have known better to have trusted you.

He's waiting. He wants more margin immediately.

Tell him we ain't got no more.

I'll call you back later.

Now we're ruined, not a bean.

I should have known you'd cheat me and that, like everything else.

It was all Colonel Holmes' fault. At first, he thought it'd be a good joke on

you, and then I began making all that money, and I thought... Sure, Colonel

Holmes. You always listen to him. What I told you didn't mean a thing.

I forgave you when you two-timed me because my country needed me. I was on

the spot.

But I ain't gonna forgive you this.

Oh, Joe, you can make lots more money. Sure, that's easy.

But I learned you're gonna have something else to go with it. That's

what I can't forgive you for.

You've taken something from me that I can't do without.

My self-respect.

Now we are washed up for good.

And I never want to see you again.

Do you understand that perfectly?

Never!

I can't give you that information, Mr. Gimlet.

You'll have to wait till Mullins gets back from Washington.

Well, here he is now.

What's the news from Washington, Mullins? It's bad. Very bad.

I would have telephoned you, but I was afraid to trust the information to the

wires. Go ahead. Spill it. This bank holiday is going to last longer than we

thought. Oh, my.

I like holidays.

Well, you won't like this one.

The administration is going to check up on every bank in the country.

What's the matter with that? There's nothing wrong with this bank.

Well, you fellas haven't been up to anything wrong, have you?

No, of course not. There's nothing actually wrong.

That sounds kind of bad.

You're responsible just as much as we are.

Who, me?

You're the president.

You can't shirk your responsibilities.

Who's shirking?

There's any shortage, I'm willing to pay my share.

Well, it isn't a question of paying.

The administration is going to hold one of us.

Criminally responsible.

And you'll have to take your chances with the rest of us. Now, one of us will

have to take the rap.

There's no doubt of that.

Yeah, but which one?

Oh, I don't know.

You have an uncanny vision about everything else. Perhaps you can see

this, too.

Which one of us is going to take it? Uh-huh.

Oh, you want to know which one of you is going to be the goat, huh? Yeah, I never

thought of that.

Sure, I can tell you.

Holy socks.

Look. What's that?

Mark six.

Well, that's as far as I go.

It's the end of the line.

I don't know anymore. I don't know what's going to happen after that.

That's when I quit.

But I don't need any vision to know what's going to happen to me.

I've been the front for this bank.

My name's down as president.

That's who's gonna be the goat, isn't it?

Me! Well, you're crazy if you think I'm gonna be the patsy. Oh, no, nothing

doing. I resign.

I ain't gonna take the rap for anybody.

Not me.

Not Joe Gimlet. Oh, no, they'll never get me.

I resign!

Where's Ted?

He's in the shop. Why?

You gotta step on it and pack. You're going with me.

Is there anything wrong?

Plenty. Some of those babies down at the bank have been tapping the till and they

think I'm gonna take the rap, but not me.

Come on, Mary. I've got a car waiting downstairs and a boat sailing at

midnight. We'll be out of here before they can get me.

Oh, Joe, you're all excited and you look sick. Maybe if you sit down for a while

and I'll get you something. Oh, it's true what I'm telling you.

I've got to get out of here quick and I want you to go with me. You won't need

much. Just a couple of dresses or something. I've got a pocket full of

dough. You can buy anything you need after we get there. Where are you going?

Athens. They can never get me in Athens. I remember that much.

Come on, Mary. Step into it. Joe, I can't go anywhere with you.

You know that.

Listen, you're the only thing in the world that I want. You're the only thing

in life worth having.

I had to live twice to find it out, but it ain't too late yet.

You must feel the same way about me, or I wouldn't want you so much.

But what about Ted?

Oh, he don't appreciate you. He wouldn't make your life so miserable.

I married him for better or worse.

Oh.

I should have known that.

You're the kind that sticks, ain't you?

Not like what I married.

A two-timer and a cheater.

You're the kind that makes the best of things.

Gee, what I missed.

I had it coming to me.

I could have been happy and I threw it all away just so I could wear a gold hat

and be a big guy.

We interrupt this evening's broadcast to bring you an important announcement from

the police department. Attention all citizens.

Be on the lookout for Joseph Gimlet, National Bank president.

Now attempting escape from the city.

Five feet, eight inches.

It's after me already.

Gray hair.

Gotta go. Goodbye, the police department.

Goodbye, Jim. Continue our musical program.

Won't you come?

I'll be all alone.

I can't go with you, Joe.

You know that.

Will you let me kiss you?

Just once.

Calling all cars.

The president orders pursuit of Joseph Gimlet.

Last scene heading for the steamship Mauritania.

Oh, let me go.

I want to get to Athens.

Be quiet now.

I've got to go to Athens.

Why?

Oh.

Oh, where are the cops?

You're all right.

He's all right. You may come in now.

Darling. Who?

Who said darling?

I did. Mrs. Gimlet, please. He mustn't talk too much.

Mary, for Pete's sake, is your name Gimlet?

Of course.

Shh. Don't excite yourself, Joe.

Ted, who's the president of the First National Bank?

I am, Joe.

Joe. Please forgive me for being so stubborn.

Forgive you?

Well, if you knew what I'd been doing, you'd divorce me.

Darling, I've changed my mind about that $4,000. You can have it and get rich.

Mix. I wouldn't change places with Ted Wright for a million.

You get that?

If I could turn back the clock again, I'd make it go the same way.

To here.

And this.