Original subtitles

Aunt Ada: Someone once said, "All the world's a stage..."

"...and all the men and women merely players."

"They have their exits...

and their entrances."

"And one man in his time plays many parts."

And I would add that, if you're not careful,

before you know it, the show will be over.

The curtain will come down,

and you will be left there sitting in the dark, alone.

So treat life like your best performance

because you never know when it's going to end.

All I'm asking is that you put them back on the right shelf.

I mean, there's a very clear system.

To your fridge.

- Yes. - Are you mad?

It's like that time-- Do you remember?

It's like that time that you freaked out

'cause I put a teacup on a book.

- It's a totally valid reaction. - Oh.

Don't even...

Don't you even dare I'm being s--

- Don't do it! - Oh!

That's it. Forcible eviction time.

Get out of my flat!

Get! Out! My! Flat!

Get out my--

I will throw you out of the window.

No, this way.

- Ohh. - Oh, shit.

A-Ar--

Archie St. Vincent.

This is Blunt's, isn't it?

Yeah. Yes. P-Please do come in.

Thank you so much.

Ah, this is my raison d'etre.

Don't be silly, Archie. I'm his fiancée-- Gilda.

Gilda Glen. I know.

I loved you in the Scottish play.

- Oh, thank you. - Yes, thank you, Albert.

- Thanks, Albert. - Oh, cheers, mate.

- Please do come through. - Thank you.

Take a seat. And would you like a cup of tea?

- Err, yes, please. - Earl Grey, please.

What the fuck?

It's a precious family heirloom, a South Sea pearl necklace--

incredibly rare, worth thousands.

It's been stolen.

A present for the opening of our show.

- We preview tomorrow night. - Oh, "The Duchess of Malfi."

I've seen the posters. That is actually my favourite

- revenge tragedy. - Oh, a connoisseur.

I studied it at drama school.

Well it's not just any "Duchess of Malfi."

- It's my own adaptation. - Oh, wow.

I needed to get back on the boards.

Theatre's always been my first love.

But this is really about Gilda.

It's about, err, reintroducing her to the world

after everything she's been through.

She's worked so hard on this production.

No. We both have.

So, when did you last see the pearls?

In Gilda's dressing room. I gave them to her this morning.

Darling, it's beautiful. Thank you.

I only wore them for a moment, and then I took them off.

Far too terrified of losing them.

And they were taken from Gilda's dressing room during rehearsals.

- The devils. - And why come to us?

Why not the police?

My agent put me on to you.

You reunited him with his beloved pooch.

- Oh. - Ah.

And the police wouldn't do anything

but give me an insurance number

and possibly leak the story to the press.

But you two--

well, you two can go in there,

- and you can make people talk. - We are doing a play

about corruption and betrayal, after all.

It may even help with our collective performances.

Very method.

I don't care if it ruffles feathers.

Well, we can definitely do that.

So, do you think that it was one of the other cast members

that, erm, stole the pearls?

I don't like to think so.

But only the cast and crew were present.

I thought we were like a family.

Perhaps I was mistaken.

So, we can expect you tomorrow?

We'll be there, first thing.

Thank you. See you at the theatre.

- See you. - Can I just say--

you are a true legend.

Well, it's always nice to meet a fan,

but even more so to meet a fellow artist.

And we'll-- we'll do our best. We'll get them.

- I promise. - Thank you so much.

Wh--What?!

Wow. He's, erm...

He's certainly very present.

Yeah, but, I mean, they're not gonna put Gilda

- on the poster, are they? - Why not?

Remember what I told you last night?

You made me watch everything Archie St. Vincent's

ever been in last night, so it's a bit of a blur.

Gilda Glen was accused of being a bully

on the set of her show "Stalking the Dead."

Some of her bitchy e-mails about the cast were leaked,

boom, she's dropped from a mega movie franchise,

she hasn't worked since, but now,

Archie is resuscitating her career.

It's just a true romance.

Noted.

Seems you're not the only fan.

Oh, anything for the selfie, I suppose.

Right, let me do the talking.

This is my world. The stage door loves me.

Darling, hi. Erm, we have an appointment

with, erm, Mr. St. Vincent.

Sign in.

Okay.

Theatre bod to theatre bod,

you don't know anything

about this missing pearl necklace, do you?

Only that I didn't take it.

Any more inane questions?

It's alright, Marvin. They're with me.

I'm the Assistant Director-- Mary.

Archie asked me to show you around.

Oi, did you get that post that arrived for you yesterday?

Should be theatre business only.

Yep. Sorry. Won't happen again.

I'll come get you.

I'm also stage manager and techie,

so I know everyone's schedules if that's helpful.

Yes. Very.

Erm, was everyone here yesterday when the necklace was stolen?

Yeah, but, erm-- No offence. We're not a bunch of thieve.

Now, Archie's really upset the group here--

and on the most stressful day ever.

It's dress rehearsal in an hour, and we open tonight.

Right, but everyone was getting along before today?

Interesting how Gilda gets

a priceless pearl necklace for a present

while the rest of us get some budget soap.

My God, he hasn't given her enough, already.

- What do you mean? - No one would risk

throwing away a break like this on some jewellery.

We do this for the love, not the money.

But the pearls are priceless.

Look, I've got a ton to do.

This is a totally new script to learn for tonight, yeah?

And do you know how hard it is to get a job

in this industry at the moment?

We all know how lucky we are. But I'm no nepo baby.

I went above and beyond to get this job.

No one's about to screw up this opportunity

for Gilda's bloody necklace.

Well, just Google her, darling.

She's hardly sought after, is she?

Still, I suppose that's why you marry somebody

much older and much more powerful.

Ouch.

If the dress fits.

Did you notice anyone unusual?

Err, someone who shouldn't have been in the theatre?

You've met Marvin, right?

No one's getting past him.

So, who would take it, in your opinion?

It's a prank if you ask me.

Maybe someone is messing with Archie.

Who would wanna do that?

Or he's messing with us.

Look, sorry, how long have you guys been doing this for?

Well, I'm actually an actress first, but this is my new role.

But we have solved a very high-profile murder case

- um, once before... - Yeah.

Sure.

Oh, good. You two are here.

Archie will be so pleased.

Err, Mary, babe, can you get me my usual?

Matcha chai latte.

Like now?

Yeah, I'll-- I'll pop out and get you one.

It'll be waiting in the dressing room.

- Archie's that way. - Thanks.

How dare you do this?

After everything I've done for you,

you have the nerve to throw this stunt in my face?!

This flimsy piece of paper?

You don't want to mess with me and my audience, Archie.

Calm down, Bevington.

It's a standard agreement. It's nothing personal.

You can't cut me out now.

You're gonna regret this.

Bevington?

Ah, just the duo I was looking for.

I'm sorry about that.

Omar and I go way back.

Is that the Omar Bevington, the famous theatre critic?

Yeah, he's the only voice that matters to most artists.

He's covering the show. It's press we sorely need.

But he took his questions too far or...?

He just needed reminding that certain subjects are off limits.

Respectful boundaries are so important these days.

Don't you think?

Anyway, we have more important matters to discuss.

Yes, we have some promising leads on the necklace.

You know, I really think you need to keep looking at

the younger members of the team.

I mean, life is so hard to afford right now.

That's a call

for Archie St. Vincent to the stage, please.

Stick around.

Stay close.

It may be I will join with thee

in a most just revenge.

- So exciting! - Shh!

Sure I did hear a woman shriek.

And the sound came, if I received it right,

from the Duchess' lodgings.

There's some stratagem in confining all our courtiers

to their several wards.

Antonio.

- Antonio. - Ssega, that's your cue. Ssega?

Sorry, sorry.

S-Sorry. Sorry.

It's the dress rehearsal, Miranda!

Sorry, I-I don't have my sword.

- I'll be right back. - Gee.

Come on, Ssega!

We don't have time for this!

Shall we just skip forward?

Yes, great idea.

The murder of the Duchess, everyone.

We'll go from there!

Places!

Oh, this show will be the death of me.

She stirs.

Here's life.

Return, fair soul,

from darkness

and lead mine out of this sensible hell.

She's warm.

She breathes.

Upon thy pale lips,

I will melt my heart.

To store them with fresh--

- To-- - Archie?

To store them with fresh colour.

Is it your allergy?

Get water! Get water, quickly!

Uh-- Shit, he's not-- he's not acting.

- Get his EpiPen!

Here, darling. Here it is.

- Call an ambulance. - Yeah.

- It's all okay.

They're here. It's all okay, darling.

- Are you okay, Archie? - I need an ambulance

to the Health Empire.

Someone's had a severe allergic reaction.

- It's not working. - Try the other one.

There's another one right--

The a-ambulance is coming.

It's okay.

Darling... It's not fucking working.

It's not working! Please help!

Help me!

Please help me! It's not working!

Damn. Archie St. Vincent.

Loved him in the Scottish play.

Do you mean "Macbeth?"

What? What did I say?

Well if it isn't Hampstead's answer to "Hot Fuzz."

You know, you two shouldn't make a habit

of turning up at crime scenes. Doesn't look good.

- Is this a crime scene? - DI Merriot: No comment.

But more often than not, anaphylaxis is accidental.

Now leave, don't come back,

or I will take out a restraining order.

We'll need this area cordoned off

and the whole place on lockdown.

Okay.

Do you think this was an accident?

No chance.

The weird thing is, right,

if this was murder,

then it was probably one of these guys that did it.

Yeah, we need to get back into the theatre.

Mm.

If the police don't think it's a murder,

they might miss something.

Marvin?

- Marvin? - Hmm?

Do you fancy another drink?

Yeah, mm.

- Lager? - Mm.

Cool.

- Put your arm in. - I'm okay. I'm okay.

Are you alright?

- Oh!

Go on. Go on. Careful, careful.

There we go. There we go.

- Hey, you know what? - What?

At first, I thought, "Who are these prats?"

Okay.

Do you know what?

You're okay.

Thanks.

Shh.

Good night, my sweet Prince.

What was that?

Gilda's dressing room.

Slowly, slowly.

Okay.

That's weird.

Do you think Gilda left that open?

Or did someone break in?

Oh, shit.

Okay, what are we looking for?

Wait, I have an idea.

The police took that water bottle

and the protein bar wrapper, right?

- Yeah, yeah. - But what if the nuts

were concealed somewhere a little harder to trace?

Okay, like what? What are you thinking?

What about the lipstick Gilda was wearing?

Upon thy pale lips,

I will melt my heart.

Here, look.

There's something oily on the floor.

Oh, my God do you think that's peanut oil?

Tommy, that's horrific.

But did Gilda plant the nut oil herself or--

Or did someone use her to kill Archie?

- We'll take this to Draper. - Yeah, okay.

- Err, okay, so... - Yeah, yeah.

Right.

- Is that a sandwich bag? - Yeah.

Okay. Come on. Hurry up.

Let's just get out of here, okay?

Let's find Archie's dressing room.

It's just creeping me out.

Looks like someone got here before we did.

They left something behind.

Grab it. Let's just go.

So, this is what Omar and Archie were arguing about.

Mm.

Yeah, but why does Archie need

a non-disclosure agreement for Omar?

Maybe...

Maybe Omar was about to reveal something pretty shocking.

Do you remember what Archie said about boundaries?

But it was left behind by the intruder.

So whatever was taken is the real clue.

Look, I-- I think I saw an envelope

- in the drawer earlier. - Same.

So whoever took it must have snuck in just before us

- through Gilda's window. - Mm.

Okay, think.

Who was still in the bar when we left?

I don't know. I feel like they'd all gone.

God, Marvin can really drink.

Well, whoever it is, we missed them.

But we got this.

Yeah.

And if it's the murder weapon, it was worth it.

I should get this to Draper.

Testing could take time.

Go and see your groupie?

I'm gonna start on the wall,

and then you can rearrange it when you get back.

Sarge, a Tommy Beresford for you.

Thanks, Celia.

- H-Hello. - Hi. Erm...

We've got a theory

that, erm, the nuts that killed Archie

were planted in Gilda's lipstick.

DS Draper: Oh, my God.

- Nasty. - Yeah.

Okay. Thanks. I'll look into it.

And, erm...

I'm not gonna ask how you got this.

Thanks.

Oh, and if we're-- like, if we're right,

could you maybe let us know?

Hide. Hide.

- Okay. - Erm, just in there.

Go home, Draper.

Even I've got more of a life than you.

- What's that? - Oh, it's, erm,

just being sent off for testing for the Archie St. Vincent case.

Uniform forgot to file it.

It's in a sandwich bag.

Just budget cuts.

Oh.

Bye-bye, Billy no mates.

Bye.

DI Merriot: Sad, sad, sad.

Okay.

Erm...

I should probably shoot off before she chucks me in a cell.

I'll need your number.

If I'm gonna, err, text you just about the lipstick.

- Oh, yeah, of course. - I'll, err-- Shit.

- Night, Draper. - DS Draper: Night.

I'm not that sad.

Bit of a hard one, this, but how many weeks does it take

to ask out your flat mate before it becomes impossible?

Bonus points if you can name the flat mates in question.

Right, next round is musical theatre.

- Okay, recap. - Yes.

So, we have Ssega, our stressed-out ingenue.

Mm-hmm. Clearly desperate for his big break,

but it looked like the pressure was getting to him.

- Mm-hmm. - Is that motive enough

- for murder? - Hmm.

Then we have our wardrobe mistress-- Miranda.

She seems resentful of Gilda.

But would she go this far to sabotage her?

Mm. Maybe.

- Multitasker Mary? - She had access to Gilda's

- dressing room. - No, but everyone had access.

Hence, the stolen pearls.

- True. Very true. - Yeah.

Omar? Right, he's definitely angry.

He'd being asked to sign an NDA.

Mm-hmm.

With Archie out of the way, he can print what he likes.

Why would Archie want to silence Omar?

God knows.

We mustn't forget that Gilda

might have been the murder weapon.

Yes! God, that is mad.

And maybe the murderer?

Hmm.

But they just-- I don't know.

They just seem so genuinely in love.

Yeah, but people do that, though, don't they?

What?

Lie to themselves.

Oh.

Go.

- The last dumpling? - You have it.

No. It's all yours.

Chivalrous to the core.

Tuppence, would you ever wanna...

Hmm?

What were you gonna say?

It can wait.

We've got a murderer to catch. Come on.

Erm, right.

I'm gonna start putting these on the board.

And tomorrow we need to sound out Gilda.

Can you think of anyone that would want to hurt Archie?

You think this was planned, that he was killed?

We can't rule it out.

I was wondering about that.

I mean, we were all so careful with his allergy.

He wasn't the only one on the team who had one.

I suppose I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

We think that your lipstick may have been tampered with.

What?

That's horrific.

Wait, so, you're saying, whoever planned this

made me do it?

So they hate me, too?

Can you think of anyone that would do such a thing?

Sadly, there's a lot of people who hate me, but I--

I didn't think they were so close by.

I thought that, err, everybody felt like family.

Clearly a very dysfunctional one.

Is there anything you can think of that could help us?

Maybe there was something.

This was his sacred space.

No one was allowed in here.

Not even me.

What will you do without the show?

A few years ago, I was about to break America.

Instead, I haven't worked for the last two years.

- Archie saved me. - How?

We hadn't been going out for long

when those embarrassing emails were leaked,

but he stood by me even when my agent dropped me.

"The Duchess of Malfi" was supposed to be my big comeback.

Oh, the other day, I heard him in here arguing with someone.

I asked him about it later.

He wouldn't tell me who it was or what is was about.

I'm sorry. I can't tell you more than that.

I-- I just thought it was odd.

I'll be right back.

Tommy, look around.

Yeah. Okay, err...

- Tommy? - Hmm?

Come and look at this.

I think I know what that argument was about.

Look.

- Gilda-- - I've had enough of this.

- Gilda, I'm just trying... - Is that Omar?

...to help you here.

Come on. Go.

Well, you can't keep ignoring the truth.

Get off my doorstep.

We should get going.

Well, come back any time.

We'll, er-- We'll do everything that we can to help.

Mr. Bevington!

The detectives, right?

Rumour is that you two think it's murder.

Client confidentiality.

Even after they're dead.

Sort of like an NDA.

Oh, please. That little spat?

It was nothing.

A desperate man trying to hold back the tide.

- About what exactly? - You'll have to read my piece

and find out.

Well, let's just say...

Archie isn't the only skeleton in the closet.

- That was a bit tasteless. - Much like that scarf.

So, is that what you're doing here then?

Warning Gilda about your poison piece?

I was giving some respectful forewarning.

But, as usual, Gilda doesn't want to know.

She always was very good

at turning a blind eye to the obvious.

But then again, she is in the business

of deception, is she not?

Sorry, but what a colossal bell-end.

Not all actors are deceptive, thank you very much.

Well, Archie definitely was.

He wouldn't tell Gilda who was in his "sacred space."

Yeah, look, anyway, look at this.

Mm.

- Okay. - Yeah.

All the lines that are cut--

- they're Ssega's. - Yeah.

Do you think he's the one that Archie was arguing with?

- We need to find him. - Yeah.

Didn't expect to see you two again.

Aren't the pearls sort of old news now?

Yes, they are.

We believe we're investigating a murder now.

Ssega, why was this in Archie's out-of-bounds study?

Because he was working on some rewrites.

- How am I supposed to know? - Oh, come on. It's your script.

All the lines that are cut were yours.

He seems like he was a hard man to impress.

I noticed yesterday, during rehearsal, that...

he wasn't particularly kind to you.

He was...

impossible.

He pushed you too far.

What, and so I killed him with peanuts?

Look, we all needed that show.

Without that job, I'm back to the out-of-work-actor hustle,

and it sucks.

So, no, I didn't kill him.

Last night, when you finished drinking here,

where did you go?

I, err-- I crashed at Mary's.

I'm between flat shares. She put me up for the night.

And you both stayed there? All night?

Like I said, I'm busy.

Pint of lager, please.

Just that? Cool.

Not exactly forthcoming.

Mm.

We need to check that alibi from last night.

Well, luckily, we can check it now.

Mary, let me give you a hand.

Oh, thanks.

- Hi. - Can we ask you something?

Last night, what time did you leave the bar?

Err, I left with Ssega a bit before 8:00?

- Did you go straight home? - Yeah, I live close by.

It's a total shit pit, but it's good for work.

Thanks, Mary.

I'm sorry I can't be more useful.

Just... still in shock, you know?

Archie was so incredible.

An inspiration, really.

Yeah. I'm sorry about the play.

No, I'm lucky. I've found a new job.

I'm guessing they're not gonna get that selfie now, eh?

With Archie? No.

It's a bit much, isn't it? Groupies and crying fans.

Except my mum was one of those groupies.

It's about love, really.

Yeah, no, totally get it.

Thanks.

Wait. Last night, Miranda--

I saw her hanging around the theatre after we left.

If that helps.

Everyone has a means.

No one has a motive. It is driving me nuts.

Ugh!

It's time to call in the big guns.

Oh.

Oh, go on.

Two left feet. Watch yourself.

Consider me warned.

Though I was a prima ballerina back in my day.

Impressive.

You haven't seen anything yet.

Now, most times out of 10, you can trick someone

into letting you in a locked door.

But other times, you need a little helping hand.

That's it. Nearly, nearly.

But if you have a deadlock situation,

then a cheeky blowtorch is always useful--

as I found whilst trying to sneak into that embassy

in Luxembourg in '85.

God. Jesus, Ada!

Sorry, Packford. My mistake.

Didn't think you made mistakes.

Yes. Just a little reconnaissance.

Now, what's up with you two?

Here's to us, darling.

Ah, the Archie St. Vincent case.

You do know how to pick 'em.

Terrible news, though.

I loved him in the Scottish play.

And you're stuck with?

Our next move.

Though we have our cast of suspects,

but none of them had a clear motive to kill him.

But we're certain one of them did.

I think you're looking at this from the wrong angle.

Gather your players on stage, and who is missing?

But we've already been through everyone that was there.

- Okay, Mary... - Mm-hmm.

...Ssega, Omar,

Miranda, Gilda.

Wait. Marvin.

Are you saying we need to look at Marvin?

- Archie. - Ta-da. The victim.

He's your answer.

He's who you need to shine a spotlight on.

But he-- I mean, he didn't poison himself.

No, but he had secrets, secrets that cost him his life.

Stop expecting your suspects to tell you what they were.

Instead, you need to talk to the dead.

It's a bit hard.

What had he done that was worth killing for?

Nothing. He was an absolute national treasure.

Oh, and they never have secrets, do they?

Look, we do know of someone

that was trying to dig the dirt on him-- Omar.

Yeah, but he-- he won't tell us anything.

So, convince him to.

Or steal his intel.

Like a certain someone stole evidence last night.

Yeah, but we don't even know where he lives.

He's super secretive, ironically.

- Omar Bevington? - Yeah.

He wrote a book on theatre, didn't he?

Oi, I'm watching that!

- Yes. - Ada!

The secretary did it-- mouse poison in the martini glass.

- Horribly obvious. - She always does this.

Thanks.

I mean, it just says that he lives in London.

- It's hardly an address. - Does it? Look closer.

The view behind him-- those buildings.

You only get those buildings in a very particular

- part of London. - There you go.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back

to my own work.

Good luck. And do be careful.

You might be about to meet a murderer.

Oh, those where the days.

Thank you.

All those poor souls.

Why doesn't somebody come and...

find out about it?

You alright there, Jane?

I think someone needs to have a little lie-down, hmm?

Would you head up to your bedroom, Mrs. Lancaster,

and I shall make you a lovely cup of hot milk.

Come along.

Okay.

So, these are definitely the buildings

in the back of the picture.

So it must have been taken from one of those houses

over there. Come on.

Okay.

"Bevington."

Try again?

Okay, that was anti-climatic.

What now?

Like Ada said,

most times out of 10, someone will let you in.

Oh, just-- Okay. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, we're outside. Can you answer the phone?

We've got the pizza. Yeah. What floor?

Thank you, Ada.

Hello?

Mr. Bevington?

Hello?

Oh, fuck.

Ugh.

- He's breathing, just. - Right, I'll call an ambulance.

Hey!

- Tuppence. - Hey!

- Which service? - Ambulance please. Yeah, hurry.

Can you tell me what's happened?

Er, yeah, we just-- We found a man, and he's unconscious.

We think he's been hit by something sharp.

- There's a lot of blood. - I'm sending someone

- to your location now. - Err, okay.

- Is the man breathing? - Erm...

Yeah. Er, yes.

Er, yes, faint-- faintly, but I just--

- I need to go. - Stay with him, please.

Er...

Ugh!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Mrs. Asante: Mrs. Asante here

calling from the North London registry office.

We've sent you a certificate you requested today.

It should arrive soon.

Any problems, do call me on 02079 460932.

I'm so sorry.

Stop!

- Hey, stop!

Aunt Ada: Well, this is

what we call a cliffhanger...

Aunt Ada: ...that moment of suspense...

Ugh!

Aunt Ada: ...where one must choose between loyalty...

...and freedom...

our career...

or our principles...

...between our past...

- ...and our present... - Tuppence?!

Aunt Ada: ...between life and death...

...between just in time...

...or just too late.