Original subtitles

First of all, the printer is always out of paper.

Well, why was the company going to spend extra money to accommodate slobs?

Y'all barely come to work on time.

What? Yeah, but we need to work somehow.

Yeah, we want to be productive while we are here, though.

Okay, well, you know what? Why don't you stop wasting my time

and get the fuck out of the office? How about that?

Okay, everybody back to work, guys. Back to work.

Ellie and I need a minute here.

Thanks. Thanks.

Can you believe these people? Can you believe them?

They are so fucking demanding.

This isn't a vacation home. This is a fucking office.

They're asking for way too much, and I know we don't have the money for all that crap.

Yeah, I hear you.

Listen, as unbelievable as that may be, you're going to have a hard time

believing this, okay? I need you to read this article.

Okay, where is it?

Okay, due to a workforce walkout, it is now legal to pre-use HR.

Okay, but this law only affects other companies, right? It doesn't affect our office.

I love that you think our company is special, but the law applies to us also.

Especially with the feds breathing down my neck, I need you to comply.

So just be prepared.

Oh, my gosh.

And when you get a chance, shred those documents, okay?

Thank you.

Oh, shit.

So you take St. Petersburg over here, then go all the way to Korea.

Oh, that's more political than that.

Oh, wow.

Oh, nice.

I really like this new law.

Yeah, I really like it.

The feds finally did something right for once, huh?

And just like that, I went from being a respected professional to a clown.

I didn't sign up to babysit grown men, nor did I sign up to be an object for their desires.

But I get paid extremely well as an HR.

I couldn't afford losing a paycheck.

So now I have to smile through lascivious looks, smile as these grown men grope my boobs,

slap my ass, and use my vagina to their liking.

How do I get these men to take me seriously under these conditions?

So, Ms. Monroe, about those ballpoint pens I had requested, do you remember those things?

You know what?

That's not important right now.

Did everybody get their memos?

Yeah, about that Q4 stuff?

Yeah, so you guys do know that there's a deadline, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a quarterly report.

So you kind of need to focus on your work a little bit?

Well, we've never missed a deadline before, so.

Focus and follow.

Right, okay.

Office are distracted, Ms. Monroe.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Well, hold this motivation.

Sure.

So, I'll go get your memos.

I'll see you this evening.

Yeah, all righty.

We are on it.

Don't you worry.

Also, about that Tuesday meeting, you said lunch is provided.

Can I get, like, a fish option?

Okay, so then you just go down and finish it, and then you're basically just signing off on it.

I came here to be part of the sales team, not do this.

Everybody has to do the training module when there's a new law that comes out.

Like, just read through it, sign it, and you'll be done.

Okay, okay.

Clearly, it's about the new free use law.

Can I help you?

Well, no thanks.

I'm just waiting for the computer to open up.

Okay, well, he's almost done, and then you're the last employee that needs to

complete this module, and then you guys can go back and work on your stuff that's due.

So, yeah, and then you're almost finished, okay?

All right, it's easy enough.

Are you guys working?

Yeah.

Okay, well, I just finished making my list.

I'll go to fire next.

Is it almost your lunch break?

Yeah.

But I almost finished all my work, too.

Okay.

There's a deadline.

That would be the deadline, too.

Okay, all right.

I have a question about the last report.

What's your question?

So the email you sent out about it was a little bit confusing because

I don't understand why we're spending a response email when...

Well, you know what?

That's the rules.

You have to follow the procedures.

All right, well, I guess that answers a couple things, but...

Here, stick this under your ear.

Oh, all right.

It's a deadline.

Yeah, I mean, things are definitely different around the office.

I don't even know.

Yeah, there's a deadline and...

I gotta go.

Yeah, I'll call you later.

Oh, excuse me, bro.

Yeah?

Are you going to give me a hand for...

Ahem.

Yes.

Wow, this is so unprofessional.

Well, Ms. Monroe, it's the new law.

That doesn't mean that I have to humiliate myself.

So do I file a complaint with the boss?

For what?

Well, Ms. Monroe, if you're going to be breaking the new law,

don't you think the boss ought to know?

Fine.

Well, you need to focus.

You're wasting company time.

At least do your job.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

I'll be taking notes.

How's everything coming along, Jack?

Oh, excellent, boss.

Thank you very much.

I'm loving the new law.

Yeah, good.

It's working out.

Melanie, everything good?

It's great.

Good.

You know, I was thinking of getting a cake for Kip's birthday coming up.

Oh, that's right.

Is it on Friday?

Happy birthday, Mr. Kipple Nipple.

Is that appropriate, or...

We don't have it in the budget.

Okay.

Well, I'll just get a card then, maybe.

Oh, maybe a cupcake.

Yeah.

Can we do a cupcake?

Sure.

Okay, great.

Okay.

Keep up with the good work.

Thanks, boss.

You're wasting company time.

Focus on your work.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

Oh, is the boss in here?

I haven't seen him.

Do you see the boss in here?

You know what?

Valid point.

Yeah, why don't you go check the break room?

I'm sure he's taking a break.

That's what he normally does.

All day long.

Are you done yet?

Hey, have you guys seen Leo anywhere?

Yeah, he was just looking for you.

I think he went that way.

Break room.

He went that way?

Yeah.

Break room.

He crumbled that way.

Yeah.

Yeah, almost done.

Close.

Can you hurry?

We literally have a May 15 deadline.

Okay, all righty.

Okay, guys.

So the morale is definitely up.

But the numbers are down.

They're bad.

So I need you guys to really get on it and focus.

All right.

We're going to call customers.

That's obviously all you guys.

Yeah.

I'm not making any calls.

Right.

The boss is going to be listening in to some of these calls.

All right.

So just be prepared.

I need you guys to follow the script when you're talking to these customers

because we need sales.

All right.

Do you have anything to contribute?

Yeah.

And yep, the May 15 deadline is important.

Are we going to make it?

Okay.

Well, because I'm going to be checking on everybody and making sure

that making sure that everyone is on point.

All right.

All I'm saying is, I think this could have been an email.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you guys never read the emails.

Says you.

Yeah.

Boss, they never read my emails.

I understand.

But let's not go pointing fingers at anybody.

Right.

Well, it's easier.

I used to just want to call them into the office.

But now I am.

What's wrong with that?

Oh, with this new free use law, it is making it making my job more difficult.

It is what it is.

I think you're right, boss.

Fingering each other has never made the situation any better.

So yeah.

Well, you know, she was saying earlier, look how happy Peter's been.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's very true.

I've honestly never seen him so happy at office before.

Yeah.

Well, I just need everybody to just really work harder.

Oh, yeah.

We'll be on point, boss.

Okay.

All right.

Does anybody else have anything else to contribute to the group?

Hey, did you get a chance to burn this?

Okay, so I just have like two more sections to do.

I'll be finished with that.

Okay.

And then Gary was going to hit the deadline.

This is good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's see here.

I guess I got some emails I got to take care of anyway.

You want to turn it off?

Okay.

Oh, and Ms. Monroe,

we'd like to hire a new team member for accounting.

Okay.

There's a list of candidates in there.

I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to try to set up some interviews.

Sure.

If it's possible.

Definitely.

I'll, yeah, because I need you to focus on work.

So I'll definitely, I don't mind doing this for you.

Very good.

All right.

How many more team members do you need?

You need two more employees?

All of you.

Perfect.

Okay.

All right.

Yes.

Hi, Mr. Peters.

This is Ms. Monroe.

Yes.

Yes.

I know it's taken a while to get back to the applicants,

but we'd like to have you come on in for an interview.

Yes.

We are struggling to meet our May 15 deadline,

so we definitely want to hire at least two more,

and you're top on the list.

Yes.

Okay, great.

Well, that sounds good.

So let's do Thursday at 2 p.m.

Does that work?

Okay.

All righty.

We'll see you then, okay?

All right.

Just two in front.

Okay.

All righty.

2 p.m.

Okay.

Let's go ahead and call this one.

Can you get a second?

Sorry.

Can you get a second?

Can you call my wife and tell her I'm not coming home tonight?

What?

I'm going out of town, but she doesn't need to know that.

Just make up something.

Oh, all right.

I'll do that.

Okay.

Thank you so much.

Okay.

I've been looking for you for the last, like, day.

I need you to sign this thing.

Yeah, yeah.

Come with me.

Okay.

All right.

I got those emails taken care of.

Yeah.

Do you guys want to get some Mexican for lunch?

Are you down?

Hey, Leo just told me that.

Yeah.

How?

He said the place over here, the new taco place.

Hey, hey, hey.

What's going on?

I only got the boss's signature, but I need you to finish up this contract.

So just a little something.

Yeah.

Real quick.

What am I agreeing to?

Yeah, it's for the Johnson contract.

All right.

It's okay.

You don't have to do it.

There you go.

Great, great.

Awesome.

Thanks a lot, man.

You know what?

I'm still waiting for a call back, and then I can finish that report for you.

Well, why don't you try to stop?

No, okay.

I'm just doing my job.

I'm really just doing my job.

This has the receipts, though.

Okay.

Thank you.

Awesome.

Thank you.

Did you get that email about the Q4 stuff?

I did.

To be honest, I went to my spam at first, so I didn't see it until morning.

God damn it.

We have to get that in in like a day.

Sorry.

I gotta check my email and find out why everything keeps going to spam.

You know what it is? I think it's because it's outside of the network, so it's coming from a different domain.

Oh, I didn't even think of that.

If you go and you turn that off in the settings, it'll all show up in your inbox.

Oh, Jesus. You know I thought I was going to have to talk to one of the tech guys about this.

Fuck those guys.

Yeah.

I mean, this math is really good. You want, I don't know, maybe double it up?

That's a wonderful idea. I'm just wondering, would you mind?

Yeah, let's see.

Would you be so kind?

Sure.

Okay.

Perfect.

Nice and comfortable.

Sure.

Hi, guys.

So you know when the BCCS only thing is, and they put these GB numbers in there?

What is that about?

They're always dead links.

Oh.

They don't go anywhere.

Again, I just thought I'd do something along.

I was wondering if they were important in some way, so I'm just like, is this relevant?

Do you want us to do something about it? Because I'm not visually getting the information.

Yeah, no.

That'd be a lot more useful if it actually lets you link.

It's active.

I mean, maybe that's something you've got to bring up with the tech guys.

You go with them, though. I'm not.

I'm okay.

We could always have HR try talking to them.

I think HR's going to be busy here for a little while.

I can fit it into my schedule.

Thank you, Ms. Monroe. That's very intimidating.

Very kind.

You know, ever since this new free use law came into effect, you've been a lot more happier at work, I've noticed.

Oh.

Yeah, the morale's, just in general, has really been up.

I mean, everybody in the office is happier, but she only screams at me three times a week now.

Well, it's a record thing, guys.

Well, you're consistently late with everything.

I'm just going to put this here for the May 15th deadline.

Oh, there we go.

I'll get that filed in a sec.

You see, finally somebody's going to meet the deadline.

I'm more confident that he will than you guys.

Yeah, well.

I don't think you guys focus like you should at work.

Oh, well, you're definitely giving us encouragement to do better with that.

Yeah, we don't even know if it's late anymore, that's for sure.

Well, I'll just wait until the end of the year reviews, and just remember that you have a bonus coming.

Oh.

So then maybe you'll take the deadline more serious.

I mean.

Sorry to bother you guys.

Has anyone seen my lucky pencil?

Oh, I think it's right there.

Oh, gee, is that yours?

It's been there all day.

Okay.

Yeah, I'll get that scanned up.

Oh, sweet.

Thank you.

These your glasses?

Yeah.

I've been looking all over for them.

I don't want to show these.

Yeah, no, for sure.

Fuck.

Are you guys, like, going to take a lunch break right now, or?

No, we're just going back and forth.

We're supposed to be having at least some kind of meeting and talking about, like, what's the next plan.

Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Well, yeah, well.

I think it's time for business, boss, isn't it?

Mmm.

They don't probably make it go faster.

You know, maybe we take this top off.

I think everything should probably just go.

Here, let's, uh.

Okay.

Oh, help me, boss.

All right, then.

We don't really need any of this stuff.

Oh, that's much better.

Much better.

Here we go.

Let's, uh.

Hey, okay.

All right.

Okay.

I really need to add a few more things to that law.

I think at least, at least let us have our clothes on.

Okay.

Do you want to?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, there you go.

That'll be.

Okay.

All right.

Thanks, Peter.

Mm-hmm.

This is really doing wonders for, uh, cohesion in the workplace, I think.

I think so, too.

The cohesion, I like that word.

As long as you guys meet your deadline, that's what really matters.

Productivity is definitely.

Yeah.

Oh.

That's cool.

Leo, if I give you some money, could you pick up the lunch order instead?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Of course.

All right, cool.

I'll wait before I head out.

I know the expense reports are not due until May 15th, but I'm just going to drop this

off right here.

Oh, awesome.

Good job.

Good job.

One of our regular customers requested delivery here.

Do you think we can, anyone can drive there?

Oh, Christ.

It's like the whole, like.

Yeah, but don't put it in the HR office.

Take it to logistics.

I'm not taking care of that.

That's not my job.

It's not going to be me.

It's 45 minutes away.

Hey.

My feet are killing me.

Do you mind if we?

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, I got this.

Perfect.

Why don't you come right over here?

Yeah.

All right, guys, just remember to text me your orders beforehand.

I'll grab the food.

Yeah, no, absolutely.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, we'll get on that in a bit.

Now, just don't forget the guacamole this time, please.

Thank you.

I think they charge extra for that.

It's the best part of Mexican food.

I know.

And the sour cream.

Oh, fuck yeah.

You guys shouldn't be ordering extra.

As you know, we have a strict budget.

I know.

A very strict budget.

It's just guacamole.

It adds up.

It adds up.

All right, fine.

Hold off on the guacamole.

You said this.

I don't take it.

Oh, yeah, that was...

Oh, yeah, so good.

I heard HR was vetoing the guacamole, but don't worry.

I stole the boss' credit card while you were sleeping, so I got this.

Oh, thanks.

I appreciate that.

I didn't hear that.

I did not hear that.

You guys are getting too comfortable around me.

You do know that I do performance reviews.

I think stealing your boss' credit card is probably not a good thing.

I didn't get...

I appreciate it.

Tony, do you have a pen?

Thank you.

Oh, sweet.

Finally.

I think we're ready for the deadline.

Oh, wonderful.

Finally.

We've been doing it over our head all day.

Yes, that would make me very happy, too.

There's so much other things I can focus on.

Speaking of which, hey, Peter, what do you want to do?

You want to get up on the dance floor?

Excuse me.

Did you see my credit card?

I didn't.

No.

I'll keep an eye out at the bus.

Yeah, it's not out here, I don't think.

You guys didn't see a credit card, did you?

No.

I looked for it.

I didn't see anything.

Oh, there you go.

There you go.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

What are those?

Just put them here.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

I just wonder if you guys are going to clean up my desk after this.

Peter would be in it.

I mean you could always call the housekeeper.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think Peter knows this better than anyone I know.

So what are you actually going to clean up?

Oh shit.

Alright, so I have like a couple of things I want you guys to do.

Um.