Original subtitles

Not many mushrooms today, huh?

No, Mom, and we looked all over, didn't we? Mm-hmm.

Too bad.

You know how good mushrooms are for you. We'll go get some tomorrow, Mom.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, but remember, don't... Don't go any further than the woods. But why,

Mom? Why can't we go where we want to?

Because, my darlings, these are very, very bad times.

There are people out there in the woods who would like nothing better than to

come across a pair of little mushrooms like you and pop you right into their

mouths. You haven't been going out there, have you? And I bet you haven't

been going to the garden either, have you? If you sprayed the weeds, it might

get you.

Will you please pass the bread?

And what about the animals? Who's going to feed them?

Will you please pass the cheese, too?

Thank you.

You'll have a chance tomorrow morning. First thing, I'm going over to the mill

and I'll be gone all day long.

And when I get back, I want this place thick and spanned. Do you understand?

Yes, Mom.

I hope we don't have to pick any mushrooms tomorrow.

Me too. I hope we can go out like today and pick flowers.

Remember that thing we found? That little one? Yeah. Oh, he was so cute.

Oh, I loved him.

Good night, girl.

Good night.

Can we hear a story, Mom?

Sure. What would you like to hear?

Bluebeard or...

Mother Goose story? We want to hear the fallout monster.

No, we want to hear the Jabberwocky. No. Yes.

Oh, the Jabberwocky's a good one.

But only one time, though. We've got to get up early in the morning.

"'Twas brillig in the slithy toes, did gyre and gimble in the wade. All mimsy

where the murrow grows, and the mum's wrath upgrade.

But beware the jub-jub bird, and shun the frumious bandersnatch. He took his

vorpal blade in hand, long time the maxim foe he sought.

So rested he by the tum-tum tree and stood a while and thought.

And as if enoughish thought, he stood a jabberwock with eyes aflame, came

whiffling through the tulgy wood and burbled as it came.

One, two, one, two, the vocal blade went snicker-snack. He left it dead, and with

its head he went galumphing back.

And hast thou slain the jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy, O fragile

day, kaloo, kalay, he cordled in his joy.

Who do you think is going next?

Who's going next?

Who's going next? Who's going next? Who's going next? Who's going next?

Who's

going

next?

Okay, girls, I'm off to the Millers now. And remember, not even as far as the

woods today.

Besides, I'll be back before you know it. Aw, I'll bet you're just sweet on

that old Miller. That's why we can't go.

Candy.

Heavens, he's 80 years old. No, it's just that the woods aren't safe.

Well, then how come you go?

All right, all right. If nothing bad happens today, then I'll take you along

with me next time I go. I've got to be off now.

I thought I heard a sound over there.

Oh, just a deer. I'm sorry.

That's okay.

Can I sit down for a minute with you?

Yeah, sit down. Here, have some wine.

Oh, I need that.

Thanks. You look tired.

Would you like some cheese?

I would.

Thank you.

Hi. Hi.

That's good. I've got some fruit here if you want.

Thank you.

Dig some fruit.

Okay.

I think I'm getting drunk off that wine.

See, this is no place for me.

Thanks for lunch.

Sure you don't want the banana?

Good morning, Morris.

Good morning, ma'am. How you been? Long time no see.

Oh, it has been a long time. I need to get some flour from you. Oh, forget

about the flour. The machine is broken. I have a lot of trouble. This Polish

mechanic didn't come down here. Oh, hell. I really needed it today.

Did I ever tell you a story about Sammy?

He comes home.

He tells his father.

The father says, well, what are you taking up? I said, I'm measuring

sexology. So his father says, I don't know sexology. I know biology.

Or hydrology, but I don't know about the sexology. Then a kid walks in the

bedroom, and he's open up.

So his father says, Sammy, after you get home with your homeboy, I want to talk

to you.

My.

this one and get going.

The captain's thinking. The captain's thinking. The captain's thinking. The

captain's thinking.

Captain Pudge.

Do you like mushrooms?

No, I hate them.

Good.

Candy's sash.

It's been ripped.

Lord, I don't like the looks of this.

Emily! Candy!

Girls!

Emily! Candy! Where are you?

Fucking broads have got my baby.

Goddamn dykes made the mistakes of their lives. I won't rest till I get my babies

back safe in their beds.

Don't make me laugh.

These are my girls.

What girls are you talking about? Listen, woman, you've got to the count

of ten or I'm going to cut your throat.

One.

Two. I don't have your girls. Don't jive me. I want them back. Three.

How old are they? What girls?

See you on the dykes.

What are you doing here my child?

It is most perilous to walk alone nowadays.

Yes, I know, Father, but I'm following a pack of dykes.

Oh?

No, Father, you don't understand.

They're after my girls, and I've lost their trail. Have you seen them around

here lately?

Today? Yes, just a few hours ago.

Let me think.

What did they look like?

They looked like dykes. About seven of them. They were led by a great big bull.

Perhaps.

Perhaps. After confessional and prayer, we'll question the brother.

But you don't understand. This is a matter of life and death.

Thank you.

Tell me all about your transgression.

Well, the other day I swore, right. I swore. No, no,

no. That's not the type of sin we're interested in. Sin, my child.

Sin. Something a bit more personal.

Oh, last week I was in the bathtub and I... Yes, yes, go on.

I don't know what to say.

Are these girls your daughters?

Yes, they are.

Then you've been with a man. Yes, you had to be.

Sin, my child, sin. Yes, yes, no doubt about it, sin.

do together look this is getting pretty weird either you tell me what you know

or i'm gonna get out of here be patient my child

come

back i'll find you

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

Get out! Get out!

But this is the kind of misconduct that happens when people don't obey the

rules. Dry those tears, my dear, and let's be honest.

Okay, ladies, listen up.

Many people think you can come into the woods and do what you please.

Well, you're wrong.

Pud, glad to hear. Have a seat.

You people think that you can come into the woods and do as you please. Well,

you're wrong.

Oh, Derek, we didn't mean no harm.

The very moral fabric of our woods seems to be unraveling before our eyes.

Rape, perversion, lewdness, and nakedness. The statistics are

skyrocketing. We have become morally bankrupt, wallowing in filth and

perversion, hitting your yahoos without any thought of public decency,

corrupting the young and innocent.

I'm shocked boys and girls, shocked and annoyed.

Starting today, why don't we try and make these woods a decent place to bring

up our children.