Original subtitles

Dear Stephanie, you're off at college now, but I wanted you to know that from

the first time I saw you, I held on to every first.

From the first time I sat next to you in class, to the first time I made you

laugh. Like, really laugh.

And the first time we went to the arcade and I let you win.

You were the first person to give me confidence.

And the first person I truly trusted.

The first time we held hands, and the first time we said I love you.

From the first time we kissed, to the last time I saw you.

I cherished every moment.

Love always, Rooney.

P.S.

Here's something for your next adventure.

Give extra, get extra.

Each of you have made poor choices that have led you here.

I want two pages about what you've done and learned. I expect

it to be thoughtful and legible.

What is it, Ms. Fitzroy?

Do you want MLA citations? For a personal essay?

Um, yeah, on ethics.

I'll have to quote a Greek moral philosopher, obviously.

That'll be fine.

Once you've finished...

You can sit silently and reflect on your behavior.

I'm just playing with you guys.

Everybody makes mistakes.

I'll see you in a few hours.

Hey,

we got your 911 text. Yeah, what's wrong?

I can't do this.

This homework is gonna kill me.

Your homework? Dude, we thought something was actually wrong.

It is.

I have to write five pages on Little Woman before Monday or Mr. G is going to

flunk me.

Can't you just read the book? I tried.

It's just not fun.

I got my dad to cancel his plans to drive us here. I even promised to mow

the lawn because your homework isn't fun. You guys don't understand.

My mom is so mad at me she won't make any of my favorite foods. She even

threatened the skate trip.

Are you serious?

She'd still take us though, right?

She won't go through with that, obviously.

That's like child abuse.

But she's been so mean lately.

Like, look, apples and celery.

That's not even a real snack.

Hey, PK.

What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be with your boys.

Well, I mean, we were supposed to meet up, but they're running a little late.

Well, how late is late?

An hour.

An hour?

Why don't you ditch those losers and hang out with me instead?

I could use a break from those college applications, so it works.

Sure.

You know, PK, if I've learned anything, it's that quality of friends is more

important than quantity. What does that mean?

It means that before I got into my accident, I pushed a lot of people away,

but my true friends stuck by my side.

I'm just saying, it's so worth it to find people that'll stick it out for

you. But I don't know how.

Well, have you found anyone that you've hit it off with?

Well, there was this one girl named Claire.

A girl, huh?

Okay, well, I'm going to get us pastries, and then you're going to tell

me all about Claire.

Simone has to pay. We need a plan.

Another plan.

How about we make them pay at regionals?

Will you guys shut up? We're supposed to be quiet and I'm trying to work. Oh,

sorry. I didn't realize Mr.

G put you in charge.

Oh, wait. He didn't. So mind your business.

Can't believe I have to be here with such imbeciles. You think just because

you're a Fitzroy you don't deserve to be in detention?

No one forced you to cheat, princess.

I was helping my partner.

I thought he actually liked me. I didn't know he would turn out to be such a jerk

and have such poor taste in women.

What do the fates of the March sisters say about women in society?

That's a softball?

I don't know anything about women, except that they like me.

Dude, come on, be serious.

Well, how about Lori's a stupid name for a boy and Joe's a stupid name for a

girl? Interesting take, but not sure you can get five pages from it. Well, I

don't know. Help me.

If we could do this, you can do this.

That's a good idea.

Do you think you can pull up your assignment just as a, uh...

Thought starter.

You're kidding me, right? You know Claire's in detention for this right

now. Well, it's her fault for blowing our cover.

It's not like I forced her to do anything.

She offered.

No one forced you to cheat.

You're the reason he hasn't learned anything all semester.

Why is it that girls always get punished when boys take advantage?

Just like my lazy ancestor.

I was your partner, but I don't remember getting any help.

Oh!

I see harmony.

I guess when you were using me in your stupid schemes, I was supposed to be

doing your homework too.

Sorry. How many times do I have to apologize?

I made a mistake.

Just like you.

Funny how you've been doing that a lot.

Whoa. What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Can't just say that and then say nothing.

You really want to go there? You dragged us here. We're here because of you.

Well, look around.

We're all here because of your meddling. You were there when the appeal went

down. You were also partners with Claire and helped stir drama between her and

Belle. And then let Belle think it was okay to sneak into Millwood. I mean,

come on, of course it's not going to end well.

So, video game break?

We haven't even started.

You're smarter than you realize.

You just need a strong opinion on what the book says about women.

Think, how did the sisters end up?

Well, Meg marries for love and ends up broke and sad.

Amy marries for money and is happy.

And Joe marries this dude named Bear and becomes rich because of Aunt March.

So she's saying women need money to be happy.

Dude, no. You really think Marmee, the best woman of all time, would really

teach her daughters that?

Marmee also sent her kids out in winter to give food to poor people.

And look what happened to Beth. It sounds like you read the book.

My mom wouldn't let me play video games until I finished.

It was pretty good, actually.

Look, about earlier, all I meant to say was even though you're the source of all

our problems- That's not making it better. Let me finish.

Regardless of all that, I think- You do mean well in your own

weird way.

And you too.

I've known Eggie for a very long time.

And I love him, but he's a lazy jerk and you're both too good for him.

I wasn't done, but yeah, go ahead.

How about the female paradox of marriage and independence?

Eh, boring.

But speaking of women, how's living with Simone?

You still trying to date your sister?

Nah, she really hated that fake spider thing. I thought it would get a fun

rivalry going, but now she mostly just ignores me.

You're probably better off. Plus, she wasn't your type anyway, right?

I don't know. I'm not sure I have a type.

Yeah, whose type was she, Egg?

Either way, you can't live with your girlfriend. That'd be weird.

It doesn't matter.

Our parents got into a fight, which is a bummer because her mom's the first

person my dad's liked since my parents got divorced.

How's it going with Belle?

Things are going great.

I mean, she's always busy with dance and stuff, but it's cool because I get to

skateboard. Okay, so imagine Belle would only be with you if you gave up

skateboarding or video games.

Well, that wouldn't work. That would be insane.

That's the situation Joe is in. She can have a writing career and fulfill the

duties of a wife, but if she isn't married, she can't have a family or own

land. What?

That's insane.

And so unfair.

Five, six, seven, eight. One, two, around, one.

Push, push, push, push, and one.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, I know you have an opinion.

What? It's cool.

But... But I've seen that style about a million times.

Well, that's what's expected.

Just saying.

Skateboarders normally have a distinct style or trick that they use. Even

coders have a signature that they use to sign stuff with.

Like having a brand. So you're saying we need a stronger brand?

She's right.

We need a signature move.

Something in the beginning that's going to make us pop and show who we are.

See? She gets it.

But regionals are in like a week and a half.

You were the one trying to push us.

Might as well try, right?

What you really need is something like this.

Wow, that girl is fire.

If she can dance like that for Just Dance, then we can learn it too. But

how? I know just the person to ask.

I heard you guys needed a little dance break.

Thanks, PK.

I guess I should go now.

Or you could stay and dance with us.

Okay.

Jill loves writing, and she's really good at it. Just like me with Warcraft

and Mindhunter, but except she was born a girl. And she's expected of certain

things. Just like in today's world, we're expected to go to school and write

essays, even if we're not cut out for it.

Is that the same thing?

Shh. I'm on the flow here.

You getting all this, Gus? Yep. So, instead of marrying Lori, she moves to

New York and pursues her dream. Just like what I'm going to do when I become

a famous video gamer slash skateboarder. Eh, that's a bit of a stretch.

So, she publishes some stories and eventually becomes a little bit famous.

And when she accomplishes that, she's okay with marrying the old bear because

she no longer has to choose between a career or a husband because she has

both. That's actually not all bad. Not bad?

That was brilliant!

This essay is going to blow Mr. G away.

It's a good start, but maybe... Who needs Claire?

Gus, you are a genius for seeing my true potential.

Appreciate you, brother.

You want someone weak So you can feel strong You've got to

be right So I must be wrong That's how I know that

Competition,

yeah Always number one

Can't face my ambition,

yeah

What's going on in here?

Eggie, what are you doing here?

I just came to give my paper to Mr. G.

Do you have a minute?

Uh, I guess so.

So then Gus made this connection to my own life, and then it just clicked. It's

probably the best paper Mr. G will ever read. Gus and Walker helped you write

it. Is that even allowed?

Well, technically, Gus wrote it with his fingers, but I wrote it with my head.

I'm kind of brilliant.

Not sure Mr.

G would see it the same way.

Well, you're missing the point.

I used to think writing was the worst, but today I realize it's kind of fun.

Well, I'm glad you had fun while Gus wrote your paper and Claire was saving

time for helping you.

What? No, I wrote it. And what does that snob have to do with it?

She's not a snob, Eggie. She cared about you and you took advantage of her.

So now you're on her side?

Well, if her side isn't being a bad person, then yeah, maybe I am.

You're the person that said popular people had to be together.

So if you don't have my back, then why do you even want to be my girlfriend?

You're right, Eggie.

I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore.

Well, I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore either.

Next week on Chicken Girls.

Wait, is your mom?

The Deborah Sharpe? The one and only.

You know what I think? I think Harmony's a Millwood spy who's recruiting you to

the team.