Original subtitles

Everything's smooth sailing. Our trap's gonna lock those thieves down for good.

They're closing in. Stay sharp, everyone.

Nope, the hall display is a fake. This one's the real deal.

See this? This is the genuine item.

By the way, I'm not man. Call me madam. You snatched it that easy? Then why did

you drag me along anyway?

It's okay, it's okay.

Launch all drones. Chase them down full force.

Let's dip, girl.

We're gonna splat on the board!

I'm deathly scared of heights.

Thanks a ton, Rolly. It's false Rolly to you.

Can't you team it up with sharp edges on the board?

They'll wreck my delicate inner gears for real.

Plus, dumping this thing out later is such a pain. How many times I gotta say

it? Say spit, not dump. You only got one outlet on your whole body anyway.

Stop talking. You're making it way grosser.

I'm gonna miss you so bad, babes.

Split up. Meet back at base later.

I'll never get humans.

This shiny rock can't even beat a single cat treat stick.

Grab her! Don't let her get away!

No way. How'd they catch on to me this quick?

Is the Gregson couple's marriage falling apart?

Paparazzi caught Mr. Gregson partying out all night long. Has he totally lost

interest in his wife? Rumors say you aren't their biological kid. Any truth

to that? Thanks. This side looks better. Snap more shots here, please.

Thanks. I look just like Mom.

Definitely no baby swap happened.

Thanks. My parents are totally head over heels for each other.

Thanks. All that gossip is just fake AI-generated content.

Unidentified person detected.

Scanning in progress.

What's your problem? Never seen cat-style AI recording gear before?

Target pendant not detected.

Subject confirmed as press. Alert cleared.

Thanks, Rolly. You're getting way better at hacking in networks and altering

records. What silly alias did you make for me this time? It's pick-me-up-I'm

-beat-you-idiot.

That's such an absurdly long name. Once we cash out this heist, I'll get you

lighter mechanical frames.

Happy now? Power low.

Recharge me ASAP.

Eve, hurry show us the loop.

Whoa, this thing's huge and gorgeous.

Did you implant it?

No, but I'm gonna watch Boob Teeth.

She just got dumped by another guy again.

Eve, you're lesbian.

Want to hook up and try your moves?

No, you would be the last lesbian I'd be on.

Come on, we're in Brooklyn. Live wild and have fun. Hit me up whenever you

want. My electric toothbrush works just fine alone.

Breaking news. The world-famous huge fancy colored diamond was stolen an hour

ago. Can the police track down the thieves? Will we ever see this priceless

gem again?

I swear to God, we're going to catch those culprits.

I don't trust the police one single bit anymore.

I'm here, honestly.

They couldn't even find my grandma's missing dentures. All right, let's cut

to the next news segment.

Another self-aware AI robot has been officially shut down.

This is already the third such incident this year. Lately, more people fear

humans will end up getting ruled and even wiped out by AI sooner or later.

Let's hear what industry experts have to say. Whoa!

They can't do that? No way! It's okay, Rolly. I won't let anyone take you away.

Calm down. Nothing bad's going to happen.

You're acting just like a real house cat right now.

The Grayson family's brand new reality show will be filmed aboard the Queen

cruise ship.

We're totally head over heels for each other. All those cheating rumors are

complete AI made nonsense.

That's right. We went all out decorating the set to recreate old steamship vibes.

Everyone uses energy stones these days. How did you even get real petroleum?

Sweetie, money can buy literally anything you want in this world. By the

way, tune into our show. We've also got tons of rare collectibles on display.

Wait a minute.

Stop searching for her, Eve. Come home with me. She's never coming back.

You're lying.

It's true.

My folks left me too.

Adults ditch kids and never look back.

My mom loves me more than anything.

She didn't even give birth to you. Why would she care that much?

Definitely my mom's mask!

Hey Eve, we're hitting the Queen cruise ship for a huge score. You in? Don't get

your hopes up. She's still acting like a good kid with school stuff to do.

I'm coming too.

Yeah!

Thought you'd sign up as a server with your looks you'd rake in easy tips non

-stop Repair work gets me tips too. Plus I get to snoop through everyone's bags

on the side

I

Really shouldn't have listened to you beauty. This dress trail is way too

long. Don't blame me just cuz you've got short legs

I gotta say, my outfit today fits me perfectly.

Hand-stitched gown and aid with 3,000 diamond chips.

My wings are forged from rare metals mined straight from Mars.

Ain't I drop-dead gorgeous?

Total nonsense.

I've got perfect supermodel proportions.

Short stack?

Someday I'll send you straight to get decommissioned, then you'll beg for

mercy. Only if you buy me 10 brand new limited edition skins first.

Fine, I spoil you way too much anyway.

Hold on, isn't that the reporter with the cat-shaped camera from the other

night? I don't need your help anymore.

Hey, you two staff!

Come fix this annoying dress right away!

I'm gonna earn some easy cash.

Not you. You look just like my fiancé and creep me out. The other one, get

over here. Easy tip money incoming.

Looks like a tricky little snag here.

Oh, like magic!

It's a piece of piss.

Just like how I lose my cool around cute cat girl kitties back in the day. Shut

it, tiny cat.

I'm not tiny at all.

Is this your personal AI bot? I've never seen such a lifelike smart bot before.

I'm just a repairman, honestly. Being your sidekick means sneaking in through

your back door. No big deal. I'll just talk to your supervisor and sort it out.

This pendant looks just like Mom's handiwork. Should I stick close to

Caroline? Please.

I really like you.

I'm in. I'll go along with whatever you want.

It's my pleasure to serve you, madam.

Told you, money fixes every single problem out there.

No, she's just flustered because your curves throw her off, like riding a

roller coaster messing with her head.

I found mom's clues way faster than I thought. This is awesome.

Plus, I scored extra cash, too. I can use Caroline to get the warehouse keys,

then I'll finally lay eyes on Mom's mask in person.

Today's seriously my lucky day.

Sorry to interrupt, ma'am. You called for faucet repair?

All right.

This is the sound that dries up my vagina.

All set, ma'am. You just forgot to turn the tap off. Fixed it up for you.

Hey, Eve, help me pick an outfit. I usually ask my mom, but she's ignoring

all my calls.

She is coming.

Yes, sir. I'll head over in a bit.

Which dress should I wear for the reality show shoot?

This one. I told you. I actually vibe with you, human. You're the only one who

gets my fashion taste perfectly.

Thanks a lot. You're way too sharp for a regular AI bot. It's like you've got

real independent thoughts of your own. Oh no!

I messed up! Did she figure me out?

It's just basic AI programming.

Nothing but data codes.

Mark my words, tonight's live show is going to blow up big time.

We're good to roll. Start filming now.

Caroline, this dress fits you perfectly.

Thanks. I think I look absolutely stunning in this, too.

Honey, filming starts in 20 minutes. Why are you looking so glum? I lost all my

horse race bets again. Those useless nags.

You're such a nice guy deep down.

You always find their true desires after going through tough times.

I still remember way back before flying cars existed.

I saw a homeless guy wandering the streets.

Messy hair and rough vibe totally hooked me instantly, so I brought him home

right away.

Straight to our bedroom?

Of course not! That all happened long before we got married.

Thank goodness for that.

Drifter lighten up kid people always get drawn to folks totally different from

themselves No

way

for real

Maybe I've got a shot to someday.

I'll definitely show her what a real man is capable of

She's definitely into wild stuff like that. Think she'd be down for a

threesome?

We had such an insane, unforgettable night back then.

But after I dropped him off at his shabby place, the urge hit me again and

we did it inside the car, too. Totally different thrill compared to bedroom

fun. Exactly, babe.

Once I got home laying on my silk sheets, my body was all sore and I felt

super guilty. How could I mess around with a random homeless guy like that?

And then we did it all over again?

I feel that exact same way. I love wearing women's clothes, too. It gets me

hyped up while dressed up, but afterwards I feel empty and hate myself.

Yep, that's exactly the feeling.

That moment made me figure out what I truly want in life, so I built my

biotech company to stay young forever and live life to the fullest.

This is freaking wild!

Gotta try this sometime!

Bitch!

Look,

Daniel's totally head over heels staring at Caroline.

They must be truly in love, brave enough to break all worldly norms.

So romantic.

Hey, Daniel, cut that creepy stare right now.

I swear, if you weren't my own little brother, I would have scratched your

eyes out ages ago.

This is ab-

reality show stars. I honestly thought they had no idea filming had already

started. All view counts are smashing old previous records.

Keep pushing hard, guys. Big fat bonuses are locked in.

How could this happen? What earth am I supposed to do?

The real young lady was swapped out years ago.

I have to tell Master this news before the live stream blows everything up.

Figure out how much money it'll take to cover up this secret, or it'll be way

too late once the whole world finds out the truth.

All those years of careful platting to switch the Gregson family's daughter

were totally worth it. Twenty full years of scheming all lead straight to this

moment. No one in this world can stop my plan now.

Sir,

can you step away for a sec?

I got something important to tell you.

Just spit it out here.

If I hold back any longer, it'll be too late.

The Graysons stand upright and sincere.

We got no secrets to hide. Sir, I just got a threatening message from an

unknown sender. Get to the point.

Madam mixed up two newborn babies in the hospital 21 years ago.

Miss Caroline isn't even a true Gregson heir.

The real young lady was left stranded in Brooklyn, growing up on the streets

under the name Eve.

Wait a minute. Is this some April Fool's joke?

Caroline's not my daughter, and this Eve girl is?

Who even knows where she came from out of nowhere?

Are you Eve?

You?

Or is it you?

This joke isn't funny at all. Take those words back right now!

Her real name's actually Eve.

The true heiress is going to hit it big in Brooklyn soon while she's stuck

waiting tables for a living here. Good grief.

She's a dead ringer for Sir. They look practically identical.

This can't be just pure coincidence.

We definitely need to run her a DNA test to confirm it all.

I'm totally serious, Sir. This is no prank.

No way this is real.

Caroline's my spitting image. She's just a younger version of me.

Reporters once spread rumors that she was switched at birth, and I blew a fuse

and shut them down hard.

I swore if she wasn't my biological daughter, we'd lose all our fancy

jewels, all our fortune, and even our stunning figures.

Thanks, Mom, but I don't want to give up all those luxuries.

I still can't believe any of this is happening.

Could this all just be scripted content for the reality show? If I'm not the

real daughter, then who really is?

Dad's not my real dad anymore Mom's not my real mom either

My little brother's not even blood associated to me

So Caroline's not my sister after all that means I

can marry her fair and square My one and only Caroline I don't care if you're

type a B or C you're the only D wife I'll ever want No way, Daniel. I can't

agree to this. If we get together, I'll only end up being your dead wife.

Daniel, how dare you? She's your sister.

We're not blood siblings, though.

That still doesn't make it acceptable.

Do you want the whole high society laughing at our family?

Nothing ever goes my way, no matter what I do.

That old gun belonged to my late dad.

I thought it got dragged away by rodents ages ago

Where's Meldred Brother? Is he dead already?

If he's gone, I'll take charge of the whole family.

Emergency.

Emergency.

Hurry up! Hit him down at once!

Caroline,

you belong only to me and no one else. No!

Emergency, emergency.

with them! Don't lose their track!

Daniel's so hopelessly romantic.

I wish someone would go this far just for me. Die!

All of you! Only blood can calm my rage!

I'm such a mastermind genius.

Who knew the Greeson are such born natural actors?

Wait.

Where's Caroline?

Did her follow drone lose signal? That's right, sir. We totally lost her footage.

Useless dumb AI!

How could you mess up this badly?

Where the heck are-

She's so hot. I'm totally burning up inside right now.

It's sweltering in here. I'm dying for some ice cream.

Ice cream?

Sucking it off my body?

I wish I was those pasties so I could suck your sweet wet all day long.

I really have no sense of boundaries around lesbians.

It's just like dangling treats in front of someone and never letting them take a

bite.

But watching's fine enough.

At least I got nice stuff to dream about tonight.

Hey Eve, wait up a sec, come help me out.

Aren't you hot at all?

I'm about passing out from the heat.

But you feel so cool. Let me lean close to you. No way, Eve. Snap out of it.

She already has a fiancé waiting for her.

Pull yourself together before you cross the line and scare her off.

Why won't you look straight at me?

Do I smell bad after sweating so much?

Where did I put my perfume?

You don't need perfume at all.

I love your natural musk.

I could just bury my hate in your neck and inhale you all day.

What did you just mumble?

It's too loud and way too hot in here.

This place is really cool, but I really want to head out now.

Head out?

Once you're inside my body, there's no getting out.

Eve.

Promise me you'll live a good life all on your own, okay?

Ugh, snap out of it!

I'm here to find my birth mom and not go chasing a crush.

She's totally straight.

Nothing can ever happen between us.

Get your head straight, Eve.

She's really that set on it?

Guess I haven't turned up the charm enough yet.

Eve, I think we should head back upstairs now.

Daniel must have calmed down from the sedatives by now.

It's way too stuffy here. I'm gonna get badly dehydrated soon.

Yeah, you're totally right. We gotta go quick or I'll lose all my senses for

real.

Are you really not staying over to keep me company?

I went through so much tonight. I'm super scared being alone.

Nah, I'm all sweaty and messy.

I just want to head back and take a nice shower.

You're really not staying?

Then take a bubble bath with me?

We're such close pals, you can't say no to me, right?

I'm only going inside to check for old jewelry left by my birth mom.

Absolutely nothing more. Plus, I've been to nudist resorts in Germany anyway.

Seeing people naked is totally no big deal at all.

Thanks a ton, dude. Call me girly. I'm a girl, you know?

Shh, stay quiet.

Humans hate getting interrupted during intimate moments.

I'll never get it. Why are physical interactions this addicting anyway?

You curious about how it feels?

Yes.

So, are you also a self-aware AI robot?

No way, I'm not that kind of bot.

Wait a second, what do you mean by also?

Are you one of them too?

Yep, I am. Then we could try data syncing together.

It might feel just as satisfying as human intimacy.

No thanks.

I'm not into cat-themed bots at all.

Come on!

Humans share genes, we share data streams.

I swear it feels just as amazing, trust me!

Finally, those two are gone. Sorry they're so noisy and nosy.

So that's what they meant by physical interaction, huh?

Nice firm hips you got there. You work out regularly, don't you?

I'm truly sorry, Caroline. You're such an amazing person, but we can't take

things further. I know girl best friends often hang out and even bathe together

casually, but I'm a lesbian and I don't want to be your last best friend. How

can you be so sure? I'm not into girls, too.

Even if I wasn't before, I'd love to give it a shot with you.

You're actually attracted at women too?

Sure thing I am. I must be hallucinating.

Pinch me now.

Pinch right here?

Or how about this spot?

Can you feel how much my body's craving your touch right now?

You'll never guess what kind of amazing tricks my nimble hands can pull off.

Oh, really? No, I'm not buying that one bit.

Oh, wow.

You don't even need a wand, yet you still make me cast aggro.

Snap out of this silly mindset at Eve.

Not everyone's a lesbian.

One passionate night is more than enough.

She was just super stressed and used me to blow off steam.

Don't catch real feelings for her.

Hey, hold up a sec, girl. You just dipped right after hooking up with her?

Total heartbreaker move. I'm totally judging you. Cut the silly chatter.

I'm in a terrible mood right now. Don't push me to snap at you.

I'm over the moon, though.

Data bonding feels absolutely incredible.

Why'd you burst in all of a sudden? You scared me! You still have the heart to

watch horse races?

Don't you know our livestream yesterday blew up online?

Viewers flooded in to watch live before we even realized it!

It's a huge shame on the whole family.

This whole mess is all your fault for agreeing to be on that reality show.

Are you seriously putting all the blame on me?

Fine, fine. I won't talk back anymore. Whatever you say goes.

Just please don't rip up all my precious horse racing photos.

Brother, let's be real. Daniel messed up really bad this time.

If you can't discipline your own child properly, I'll do it for you. Absolutely

right. If things keep going downhill, I'll just take charge of the whole

family business myself.

Absolutely right.

Wait a second. Why do you get to call the shots? I'm totally capable of

running things too.

You want to take charge? Are you going to run our whole family fortune straight

into bankruptcy?

Who was it that kept begging us nonstop to handle family affairs back in the

past? It's not even that great anyway.

You just know how to winning people over with favors.

Are you talking about me?

I gave all of you actual shares and real cash, yet you say I'm just winning

people over? That was all past profit.

Our family assets are steadily dropping in value now. What's your plan to fix

this financial slump?

We've finished tallying up all livestream revenue plus extra earnings

from merch sales.

Here are the final figures for you to check.

The temporary dip in the company's market value is nothing to worry about.

Profits from this single livestream plus replays equals one-tenth of our family's

total past earnings.

How can any of you still complain when we've earned such massive returns?

Totally agree with that.

To be honest, we planned every single thing well ahead of time. Even negative

buzz can skyrocket our popularity anyway.

We kept it all under wraps just for better show effects.

But it really hurts to see all of you panicking like this.

You two are truly brilliant masterminds. We really admire you deep down.

Totally agree with that.

Glad everyone's on the same page then.

We're going to keep filming this reality show non-stop, and all of you have to

fully cooperate whenever we need you.

You're new around here, aren't you?

I don't remember seeing you before.

That's right, madam. I've long hoped to meet you sooner.

What's your name?

John, madam.

Little Johnny?

Yes, madam.

Maybe you need John.

Fine, fine!

Director, the Greeson family just released their statement. Just like we

talked about.

Okay. The Grensons already knew Caroline wasn't their biological daughter. She

was adopted.

So her dating Daniel? Not incest.

Also, that whole tell-all yesterday?

They're calling it a personal kink thing.

And honestly, some niche communities are eating it up. Nice. Let's roll.

God help us.

Hope this livestream gets super dramatic, too. Director, it's just

cooking. You really think that's gonna make compelling TV?

You'll never know what those Graysons are gonna do when you lock them in a

room together.

Honey, yeah, we made a killing last time.

But it definitely tarnished the Grayson family name.

Michael's plan this time is smart.

Just simple cooking.

All we gotta do is show everyone the Graysons sticking together.

Are Caroline and Daniel both coming?

They're not going to tear each other apart again, are they?

No, honey. They're good kids.

They've got their issues, sure.

But they'll understand their old mother's intentions.

Shut up. You want both of us sent to the dump?

I can't help it when I see you.

Me neither.

But control it. Right now.

Didn't see you all morning. Where'd you go?

Miss Caroline, we're filming. Please focus.

What's wrong with you?

Good morning, my darlings. What's for breakfast?

So we're cooking today.

What do my babies want? Apple pie?

Tacos? Pizza?

I don't care.

Anything. All right, then.

We'll make your childhood favorite treats.

Blueberry, strawberry, and caramel Skittles pudding. Go, go, kids.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, honey, come help me up.

Beautiful sounds.

A for apple, B for ball, C for carline, D for Daniel, T for true love.

What the fuck? A cat in heat sounds way better than this.

A cat in heat is the most beautiful sound in the world. Daniel's singing

makes me want to kill myself.

Whoa, right in the face.

Sexy.

Oh my, oh my. Who's this little messy kitten? Come change with me and let's

set up the kitchen.

How about rainbow disco mode?

We could literally just project this. Rich people just love making extra work

for no reason. Yeah, but projections wouldn't pay you this much. So shut up

and work.

Everyone, just hold on a little longer. This is a 3D scan.

They're going to make action figures of us later.

For anyone watching who's interested, you can pre-order on our website.

You can also download the 3D model and print it yourself. It's cheap. Buy

three, get one free. See?

Your mother has the business brain. She can make money off a wardrobe change.

Okay, let's try again.

But this time, I think we need a little help.

This sweet girl right here. I heard you make fantastic creme brulee.

So will you help us, please?

Please?

Yes, ma'am. Yes, madam.

Damn it. I can never say no to Caroline.

I'm sure we'll nail it this time. And, sweetie, what's your name?

Eve.

Eve?

Did she just say Eve?

Yeah, that's what I heard. Okay, Eve, so...

Where do we start? Uh, grab the ingredients first.

We need, um... No way, like, the real heiress Eve?

Is that even possible?

Oh shit, someone recognized her and posted her name really is Eve! She grew

up in Brooklyn!

Oh my god, and she's adopted too!

Look, someone photoshopped it.

They made a grown-up version of the Grayson's daughter. It's literally Eve.

Holy shit! The real and fake heiress!

They get along so well.

Director, ratings are spiking again, right after Eve showed up.

She's a genius.

Total drama. Mrs. Grayson is a fucking genius.

I just got a new idea.

Cooking is exhausting.

But that creme brulee at the end?

Actually pretty good. So how are the viewing figures?

I carried that whole thing. People are praising me like crazy, right?

Well, what can I say? It totally blew up. Especially that real heiress, fake

heiress thing with the Graysons.

Ratings went through the roof.

Real heiress?

Fake heiress? What are you talking about?

Real and fake heiresses. The audience eats that shit up.

Where'd you find that actress? She's incredible.

We didn't hire her.

Wait, her name is also Eve. Could she really be our daughter? Just a

coincidence. You're overthinking this.

But we could have her play our daughter.

What if she says no?

Then we offer her a number she can't refuse.

Yes, another day of pretending to be a dumb AI.

I'm glad you came around on Mrs. Grayson's offer.

Yeah, I thought about it. You made a good point. Maybe changing my identity

can help me find clues about my foster mom. And also... And also you get to

date your little girlfriend on the company dime.

Our little Eve's all grown up now, huh?

Who's this?

Oh, Caroline. This is my best friend, John. Hey, Caroline. Nice to meet you.

Alright, gotta go work. You two have fun.

Mean boy, you know.

You look amazing today.

Finally! Someone with taste!

So, wanna exchange data tonight?

We'll see. I don't wanna ruin my new dress yet.

You AIs are into that kind of freaky stuff too?

Oh, hey!

Mom wants us.

Okay. Guess I should go meet my mom too.

Daughter, you've been through so much.

Wow, that's a lot. Did the reality show start already? There are no cameras. Are

we acting already? No, Eve. It hasn't started. But I need to tell you

something. You really are my daughter.

Yes, Miss Eve. We did a DNA test.

You are the Gregson family's long-lost daughter.

Way too sudden.

How did you even know?

Because I'm the housekeeper.

Housekeepers know everything.

Then why aren't you the president?

You just didn't feel like it?

I'm sorry. I can't deal with this right now. I need time.

I understand how she feels. We all need time.

Oh, I should tell my husband about this. Honey, we found our real daughter. I

can't believe it. It's really... How dare you?

Didn't we agree that no lovers were allowed here? I didn't bring one. I

found him here.

Besides, you brought Richard on board, too, didn't you? He's my... massage

therapist right massaging your vagina with his dick

right massaging your vagina with his dick

you don't get it it's maintenance sure and for me it's maintenance too good sex

keeps me young and i swear this time i really found my soulmate every single

one of your lovers is your soulmate still better than you

You sold yours to the devil a long time ago. I don't care how well your souls

match. Just don't let anyone find out during the live stream.

After it's over, do whatever you want. Of course.

I'm not stupid.

I really want to tell you about the amazing time I had with my little boy. I

really don't want to hear it.

I was trying on your...

Chanel gown?

That was a limited edition. I was going to wear it tomorrow.

You're dead.

Well, what was I supposed to do? I didn't bring my limited edition Chanel

gown on the ship. Who said you could come in? I hung the do not disturb sign.

Get out.

Sorry, sir. I'll leave right now.

Mr. Gresson, that lipstick?

Perfect with your outfit. A little accessory would really seal the deal,

though. Yeah?

Come here.

Help me pick something out.

Really? Two sentences and you fell for it? He played you.

No. He got me, and he's a drag queen legend. He told me emerald earrings

would make my eyes pop. Oh, and he taught me how to tuck, how to glue on a

fake pubis wig and casually flash it. Just imagine, so hot, and he said an

hourglass breastplate would flatter my amazing figure. He spent 15 minutes

really getting into each other's souls. I knew it.

He's my true love, and then we had a wonderful time.

Oh, boy.

Call me Daddy. And twice.

Twice.

Oh, I'm so jealous.

Twice? Whatever.

Big deal.

I've done a threesome, and I didn't even brag about it.

May I?

Yes. I think I need John.

Yes, ma'am. John is here.

Right. Getting a little hot in here, ma'am.

Could you hold this for me, ma'am?

Oh, magic.

For you, my most mysterious, noble madame.

Okay, no more tricks, right?

No, ma'am. I'm an open book with you.

So I gotta confess.

Besides magic, I also dance.

Is that right?

I don't buy it.

Wow.

Amazing.

Not here.

And I don't want to go back to the bedroom either.

Yes, my lord.

I'll take you somewhere you've never been.

Where are we? It's freezing.

Cold storage.

No one comes in here.

There's not even a bed?

Or a couch? How are we supposed to... Seriously?

I don't want to wake up dead in a freezer tomorrow.

The air might be cold in here, but I'm on fire.

Where?

Here?

Or maybe here?

Why don't you find out?

Getting a little... That was intense.

Felt like I just ran a 10K.

Yeah. Cardio for the day is done.

Time for some pound cake.

But first...

Give me a sec. Oh, sure.

Let's go to my room.

Cocktail first?

Okay. I'm good, my queen. Your soldier's standing at attention, ready for duty.

Right now?

Oh.

Youth. Tell me, what do you want?

Gold. A whole lot of gold.

So we can have a golden shower together.

Little Johnny.

Bad boy.

Tell me the truth. You've been using my company's bio-serums?

Nope. That's rich people shit. I'm just naturally gifted.

I'll bring you some next time. You'll love it.

Is Caroline mad at me?

Maybe. You bailed right after.

Dick move?

Fine. Finger move.

Who knew a Brooklyn girl would end up being a grace and air? What if she

thinks I was using her? Were you? No.

No, Caroline's not mad. She's just a bit regretful.

That she didn't meet you sooner.

You weren't asleep?

Am I bothering you? I can go. You're so loud. How could I sleep?

Stay, Eve.

Stay. For Mom's clues.

Put some on me.

Hey, I always see you wearing that pendant.

Mean something?

No idea. Found it at my mom's art vault. Looks cool.

Kind of like Zaro's mask, right? No.

Not Zoro. It's from an Egyptian pharaoh way back.

Yeah?

How do you know?

This oil is amazing.

Makes you even hotter.

Duh. Made just for me.

Here.

And right here. See?

I think they made up.

You?

I think we could do some exchanging, too.

Did ancient Egyptians really build the pyramids? I think aliens did it, like

Legos. Maybe aliens used them as cans to store mummies. Why store mummies?

Because some people think eating mummies helps with ED seven times a night. Oh,

never thought of that. People still eat mummies?

You want to try? I know a place.

Fermented herring mummies. Know so much.

So tell me, why are pyramids shaped like pyramids? To keep homeless people off

them? Maybe.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

John and... Sorry, just here for the herring.

John and Mrs. Grayson.

For real? What?

I heard something in there. Yeah.

The mummy came back. Now it's making baby mummies.

You're so funny. Yeah.

Wish I was wrong, too.

Okay.

Right here.

Any farther and someone see.

Next time I have your pound cake.

New flavor, okay?

Yes, my lord.

As you wish.

Eve?

You look down.

Yeah, a little.

My best friend is sleeping with an old lady who could be his mom.

And I don't know what to do.

On the ship?

Who?

Uh, a crew member of the reality show.

You're really into my pendant, huh?

Yeah, it's cool.

There's a whole matching set in the art vault. Maybe if it'll make you feel

better? Sure, let's go. Sorry, Caroline.

I'm using you to get to that vault.

I'm not even sure whether this is my mom's work.

But I swear, one day I'll tell you everything.

See, Eve? Right there.

Grayson's are really rich, huh?

This is nothing.

We have real Van Goghs and Da Vinci's at home.

Just didn't bring them.

Okay, that's crazy rich, huh?

How'd you do that? That's amazing.

But feels like something's missing.

Oh, you... This mask. I've been looking for this. The Eve and Eva. Eva

was my mom.

Well, foster mom.

She disappeared ten years ago. This is the first clue I've ever found.

And that's it.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I'm used to it.

Oh, right. There should be a box that came with the set.

Great. More clues, maybe. Where is it? Not sure.

Maybe with my mom.

Maybe we can find time to look. Thank you, Caroline.

It's fine.

What's that?

Oh, two kissing fish came ashore. Let's go. Don't bother them.

Listen here, kid.

Stay away from Mrs. Grayson. I'm warning you.

She's way out of your league.

I'm not chasing her.

She's chasing me.

Bullshit! I'm the one who really gets her.

Maybe.

Because I'm younger. So what? I've got way more experience.

I know her buttons better than she does.

But I'm younger.

Fresher.

I have better taste!

I connect with her on a deeper level!

Younger.

By the way, that outfit does nothing for you. Shows off all your flaws.

Short legs, long torso, and a little belly. If I were her, I wouldn't pick

you either. This is the latest Louis Vuitton. You don't know shit.

Go read a fashion magazine.

Upgrade your taste.

You son of a bitch.

I swear I'm going to shove your ass down your throat and drag you to hell with

me.

John, go clean under the table.

Hey!

Quiet ones are always the worst.

Richard, I'm gonna make you pay.

I'll find the right moment. Rip the tablecloth off.

Once Madam sees John like this, she'll be disgusted. And then I'll...

Johnny, I get it. A little surprise, right?

What'd you say, honey?

So I... Daddy, you gonna punish your little

boy in front of everyone?

Go ahead. I'm ready.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Ass-eating.

I meant exciting.

Oh, no.

Mom,

Dad, you okay?

Eat something bad?

Ah, yes, sweetie. Knew I shouldn't have drank that water.

Maybe you should go lie down.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I'm coming! No, no, no, not here. Think. Think of something.

Director, is this in the script? It sounds awful. What's the point? The

Graysons must have their reasons. Just keep watching.

That's how rich people sing?

Sounds like a cat in heat.

Wow. Her stomach must really hurt. You sure she doesn't want to rest?

No wonder you're rich. You're such good actors.

Time's up.

At this peak moment, Mrs. Grayson definitely wouldn't want to see someone

so undignified.

Richard is an excellent informant.

The Gresson name will be nailed to the pillar of shame forever.

I mean, yeah, I took some money to cause a big mess, but I did not expect it to

be this big.

If they start fighting, who are you going to side with?

At least, it won't be the two of them giving me another little brother.

They're not going to pull guns again, are they? Should we run?

Well, they are definitely doing each other.

I'll run when the guns come out. Want to watch this first?

Now that's dedication.

That's heroic self-sacrifice.

Sacrificing themselves to make Great Grayson Family reality TV. So touching.

After this episode, I bet our bonuses will double. Yeah, as long as they don't

screw it up somehow.

And if something does happen. That would be... John, tell us. Did he force you?

You have no shame.

I finally find a soulmate, yet you steal him away from me? That's bullshit.

I got to him first. Love isn't something you can cut in line. Go tell that to

your eight lovers.

He's my only man.

You're just jealous I have eight men. Fine.

Go find some. Oh, wait.

I can go eight times a night, no problem. You go eight times a night, and

you'll shit yourself.

You liar!

I use your company's bio-serums too. My asshole is still a tight little rosebud

no matter how many times I use it.

Should I thank you?

Considering you never pay for them.

You mean I'm petty, don't you?

I'll pay you right now. It's not like it's a lot of money anyway.

Okay, I'm actually interested in that bio-serum now.

Same. My boyfriend's been so boring lately.

Maybe I'll try it, if it's not too expensive.

Take it. Buy yourself some perfume. That old lady smell you've got is giving me a

headache.

How dare you?

John said I smell like enchanted rose petals.

Right, John?

John? John.

Um, I saw his clothes were wet, so I sent him to change. Maybe he's not here.

You two could calm down.

Wait, Eve.

That friend of yours who's sleeping with a married woman?

That's John, isn't it?

Um... Yeah.

Oh, no.

Caroline's gonna lose it.

You knew?

And you didn't tell me?

The Grinsons just got humiliated on a global livestream!

Were you getting close to me just to get back at the Grisons, too?

No, Caroline, I... Caroline, Grandma always told us outsiders are all bad.

They're just after our money.

So the Graysons need to stick together.

Yes, Daniel, you're right. How about you get away from this mess with me?

What the fuck is this?

Well, happy now?

You two couldn't keep it in your pants, and now look at this mess. If we kept it

in our pants, you wouldn't be here. You were just an accident.

Didn't you poke holes in the condom so I'd marry you?

It was an accident. I thought it was access. And losing me later?

That was an accident too? Honestly?

I think you planned it. How could you think that? That breaks my heart. Truth

is, I always thought someone planned it. Your foster mom. That hateful Eva. She

stole you from me. Don't speak of my mom like that!

You know who my mom is.

You even know her personally.

Of course I do.

They were inseparable back then.

Best friends.

Until this woman stole Eva's fiancé. Say that again!

I did not steal her fiancé! And pushed Eva off a cliff.

You're a murderer.

I didn't kill her! She fell herself!

You killed my mom!

That's why she's been gone all these years?

You are vile and ugly and disgusting!

I wish I weren't your daughter!

No.

No, I didn't kill her.

Eve, I totally agree with everything you just said about your mother.

But here's the thing.

Eva fell off that cliff before you were even born.

So her disappearance ten years ago has nothing to do with this old lady.

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean that. Too late!

My heart's full of holes now, all you're doing!

Can you tell me more about Eva? I really want to find her, please.

No.

Then I'll just keep hating you.

That's it?

I wasn't done watching the drama.

Your nasty mouth really did it.

Now the other daughter's gone, too.

Are you satisfied?

This is also my fault?

You old lady-smelling hag.

I've had it with you, you shit-talking bastard!

I'm warning you.

You hit me again, I'm hitting back.

So what?

Eat my ass, you loser nobody wants. Every time I think

they can't get more dramatic, they get more dramatic.

Attention everyone, live stream's over.

Let the internet go crazy guessing what happens next.

Drop the BSS tomorrow.

Milk another wave of views.

Sir, madam.

The live stream's done.

You can let go now.

You first.

No way.

Sir, madam.

The ratings of this episode have skyrocketed, far exceeding the last one.

Compared to every other reality show out there, we're in a league of our own.

That's for calling me old lady.

And there's more.

Madam's bio serum is blowing up online.

Sold out in 20 minutes.

Pre-orders are booked up for two months straight.

This single launch did the sales of an entire year.

I knew it. I knew I could do it.

Stay away from me. I don't talk to traitors.

I'm not a traitor. I'm faking it so Caroline thinks I'm the only one on her

side.

Get your own drink. Why are you stealing mine? Come on. What's yours is mine,

just like your parents are my parents.

Right. My stepdad and stepmom are your stepdad and stepmom, too.

I think that's just stepparents, since they're the same person.

I don't know how the world ended up like this.

Feels like everyone turns into a different person once the cameras are

on.

What if one day I'm not who you think I am? What if I'm just a thief?

What would you do?

I have two sides, too.

One is the Grayson heiress, the other a fashion buyer.

Who's lucky enough to have you buy for him.

Myself. Huh?

Yeah. With my buyer discount, I get 20% back.

So basically, I only pay 80% for everything I love. Pretty smart, huh?

That's literally the smartest thing I've ever heard.

Now you.

Tell me about Eva.

Not much to say. I've been on my own since I was 10, and finding Eva...

It's not about her taking care of me anymore. It's more like an obsession,

something to live for. If you do find her, what would you ask her?

Maybe how to make borscht.

I can never get it to taste like hers, like Mom used to make.

I'm sorry for everything you went through, and it doesn't feel good. No,

don't apologize. Honestly, I'm glad it wasn't you living that life.

Oh, Eve.

Should I still pretend to be a traitor?

Shut up! Don't ruin the make-out scene!

Come to my room tonight?

Why not?

Because it's not fair to your fiancé.

I don't want to turn into our parents.

Just because of this?

He's not really my fiancé? That's his nickname. Back in school, he was always

talking about who he's going to marry. Cinderella, the evil queen, Oscar

winners, porn stars, everyone. So we called him fiancé because he was always

about to get married.

Oh my god.

You really have an amazing tongue.

People still use data cables?

That's so lame. Don't knock it. Way better than that platonic soulmate crap.

Check it out. Just downloaded the newest cat video.

Oh my god. You really have an amazing data cable.

Yep, me too. Data transfer over a cable is way better.

Caroline!

What do you want?

To fuck Caroline.

Eve? What are you doing here? Did I go to the wrong room?

Nope. Eve and I are together.

So give it up.

You bitch!

Get lost.

Or I won't be nice next time.

You sleep with my girl and then you threaten me? I'll kill you!

Keep it down Caroline and whatever that thing on the floor is

back here. It's not a threesome without you. Come in.

Guess who's in that room?

Another mummy? It can't be Mr. Grayson. I can do a threesome too, Eve.

I won't judge you.

Get lost.

So annoying.

Can't you let me get on with my stuff?

Like fish can't live without water. I can't live without my phone. Every

minute I think of you, I lose 60 seconds of my life.

Guys, I can never stand Daniel's taste. And he spends so much money on it, too.

Obviously, not everyone has taste like mine.

I finally know the Grayson family tradition.

Singing like a cat in heat. I think he should sing at church. He'd raise the

dead. And then stuff a dirty sock in his...

Hey, Caroline, guess what you've lost?

What? The will to run when I see you?

Ta-da! A big piece of jewelry.

The first time I saw this brooch, I thought it would match your eyes

perfectly, dear Caroline. Maybe you should stud your dick with those. Might

make it look bigger. Oh, so you like the bumpy type, Caroline?

You want me to make it ribbed with big bumps? Feels better? I think I lost the

little brother who used to be shy and run from me.

You go easy, son of a bitch.

I swear, one day I'm gonna kill Eve.

You've been saying that all night, and it's done nothing.

You've done nothing either.

Three years with my mom, and some kid shows up for three days and takes your

spot.

Me being mad won't change anything.

Your mom likes the kid. What can I say?

You've got a point.

For me, the real problem is Caroline.

Watch my reality show performance tomorrow. I'm going to show everyone I'm

her only one.

Like that's going to happen.

Why doesn't Caroline like me? We used to be so good together.

Caroline?

Come on, Daniel.

Let's do something fun.

Yeah? Hurry up. Come find me.

Slow down, Caroline.

Daniel, come on.

You smell so good.

Try my super cannon.

That chicken just came out of the oven. Doesn't he feel hot?

It's fine. He has diamonds on his dick.

Oh. Maybe I should try that.

You still use yours?

Honestly, I don't even need to scheme against the Graysims. This dick alone is

going to destroy them.

Ew. Did you see his dick?

Not as big as my boyfriend is. No wonder Caroline didn't pick him. So gross.

Caroline, you're so juicy.

And hot.

See? No woman can resist a love song.

If she doesn't like it, just play another one.

Did I

time

travel? This feels familiar.

Nope.

No time travel. His singing just keeps getting worse.

I can't anymore.

Playing happy family with the Graysons on the show?

It's just watching them flirt fight the whole time.

And Daniel's lost his mind. I want to pull his brain out just to take a look.

Nothing's going right lately.

That box you mentioned? The one with the jewelry set?

I can't find it anywhere.

Not with my mom?

No, I asked her, but she wouldn't give it to me, so I went looking in her room

myself. Nothing.

So weird.

She's in her room with John almost all day. How did you even sneak in? Easy.

I'm a master thief.

I can get my hands on anything.

If you can, steal Daniel's brain and replace it with a slug's.

But the only thing I want to steal is your heart.

You don't have to steal it.

It's yours.

The housekeeper?

What's she doing here? I want to know what she's up to.

Follow me.

This is the only

reason I'm crawling through this stupid vent.

Why is she taking that?

What are you holding? Let me see.

Eve,

look what I found.

Right there on the table. A photo?

That's Eva.

Who's the man in the middle?

I know! The stolen fiancé?

And what's he got to do with the housekeeper?

We're gonna find out.

I swear.

Who's there?

I think we can plan a wedding. For who? You?

No. For Eve.

She finally decided to marry Caroline?

Not Caroline. The housekeeper.

What? You okay?

Yeah, I saw her trailing the housekeeper. Just like I followed

Caroline back then. So she's definitely got the hots for you.

Shut your mouth!

Oh, is our Eve blushing? It's okay. Mommy's open-minded. If you really want

to marry the housekeeper, I'll be so happy for you. No, I'm not.

Okay, okay. I'm just kidding.

Actually, the housekeeper is kind of connected to you. You know Eva's fiancé?

The one you stole? I saw his photo. Your brother? Pretty hot. You look a lot

alike. Thanks.

But that was me.

Yeah. The housekeeper almost became your dad. If we hadn't been into the same

thing. Men, I mean.

I found I only liked men. Thought I was gay.

Eva refused the sham marriage thing, but I needed to marry a woman to inherit the

family fortune, so I asked madam. Right. We both got what we wanted. You needed a

wife. I needed a ticket into high society. So... He, I mean, she, why is

she the housekeeper now? Later I realized I'm attracted to men, not

because I'm gay. I like men because I'm actually a girl inside. With the madam's

encouragement, I had the surgery.

Yep, took two balls off the bottom. As you can see, the surgery went great.

Congrats.

Okay, John, be right there.

I envy her.

So many men. Uh, you'll get some too. Thanks.

Since we're so connected, can you tell me where Eva is?

You almost were my dad.

But I can't betray the madam.

After my surgery, when my family kicked me out and I had nothing, she took me

in. So without her say-so, I can't tell you. I'm so sorry, dear.

Eve! Eve! Yes.

So Mrs. Grayson and the housekeeper really know where Eva is.

Next step, figure out how to get it out of them.

Really? You're sure Mom knows where Eva is? Yeah, I'm sure.

But she won't tell me, no matter how I ask.

Maybe I know what to do. No, don't, Caroline.

I don't want you to sacrifice for me.

It's okay, Eve.

I want to do something for you, too. Right there.

John, your hands are magic.

Oh, Caroline, my baby! Did you say yes to Mommy's idea?

Yes, Mom, I agree.

But I have conditions.

Okay. Name him, sweetheart.

I'll think about him.

I'll do the sexy Playboy shoot, but no full nudity. That's too far.

Of course, my darling daughter. That's our bottom line.

Caroline, my sweetie.

Mommy's doing this all for you.

I want you to have these gorgeous photos to look back on forever, capturing you

at your most beautiful.

And Playboy's lead photographer will be shooting you.

This is going to blow up across the whole country.

After the shoot, Mom, you have to tell Eve where Eva is, and I want that in the

contract.

And look at you, you're a true Grayson. I sure am.

Really, just for memories?

Memories, partly.

If Playboy's editor-in-chief promised to do the shoot, the magazine will run ads

for my bio-serums right next to their photos.

So you won't need to pay for ads.

Plus, you'll sell tons of products to Playboy's readers.

We'll also stream the whole shoot live. That's another huge promo.

We get the traffic, Playboy gets the sales. Win-win.

Oh my god, madam, you're the smartest businesswoman I've ever met. And you're

the most magically gifted masseur I've ever met.

Honey, how's the makeup going? Oh, you look amazing.

Playboy's lead photographer just landed by helicopter.

He says you're his muse.

He's going to catch your sexiest side.

Okay. Thanks for letting me know, Mom. Oh, and your outfit's here. The designer

just finished it.

Look.

So beautiful.

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever used.

If I were 30 years younger, I'd be doing this myself.

Oh my god, Caroline!

You're such a natural!

Don't worry. Our livestream won't show the actual photos. They're only

available through your magazine's official site.

I swear, you're horny as hell right now.

Oh, Eve, you're here too. Come on, pose with Caroline.

Wow, the shots I got from this angle are killer. I'll share them with you. Go

away! Don't think I don't know what you're up to. Come on, open your data

port. Let's exchange data.

In my lifetime, a threesome, I can die happy now.

Why'd God give them so much money and also give them amazing looks and perfect

body? Yeah, yeah, it's really hard to look away.

You wanted to?

Daniel, you've watched this 38 times. You've jerked off 17 times.

Want to keep going?

What's the big deal about 17 times?

I've never fucked a real person even once!

After going through 387 sources, your case is lots of tries, zero skill. Also,

your erection time is below average.

I suggest learning sexual techniques.

Want me to recommend some highly rated bloggers or courses?

What good's a course?

That's just theory. I need practice to get results. Hey, maybe I can ask John?

Of course. I'd make a great teacher.

Of

course.

I'd make a great teacher.

It's a deal then.

Tonight at 8, my bedroom. Don't be late.

Where do we start?

How about How to Find the G-Spot?

Oh, Bella Blaze.

Three-time Best New Star.

We were in the same elementary school class.

Who knew the most boring plane girl from back then would turn out to be such a

big name?

Though I guess Eve's the most famous now. You're not so bad yourself.

Seven times a night guy.

You flatter me.

Okay. Enough talk.

Where do we start?

How about start with a shower?

Okay. I'm all clean. Now what? All clean?

I doubt it. I need to check.

If you're not clean, there will be consequences.

No, no, no.

I'm not into back doors. Too bad.

Looks like we can't continue the lesson then.

No, no. Come back.

I mean, I'm not gay. I'm just learning techniques, you know?

I know.

I love students who are eager to learn.

I'm still a virgin back there.

Be gentle!

Holy shit, that feels so good.

And you're just using one finger? That's insane.

Yeah. Just gotta find the right spot.

Let me test you.

Where's your spot? Here or here?

I'm a bad student.

Please, teacher, have mercy.

What's that sound? Someone catch a monkey?

Oh, I swear something's wrong with Daniel.

Maybe he cut off his toe with a knife or something.

Never heard him scream like that.

Daniel?

Daniel?

John?

What's that smell? Weird.

Am I getting another brother-in-law?

Oh, wait.

Still just one person.

Nope. Just a regular teacher stuck with a stupid student. I'm just learning!

Caroline, you're gonna love it! I just don't like your dick. Thanks.

Hey, kids.

I was looking for you.

John? What are you doing in Daniel's room?

My little baby's all grown up. That's so nice.

You're finally starting to accept a different kind of life.

Now you're even more like your dad.

I'm so proud of you, son.

Really, Dad?

I always thought I was a disappointment.

Of course not, Daniel. I've always been proud of all my kids.

You, Caroline, and Eve.

Thanks, Mom.

This is so sweet. I wish our family could stay together forever.

So, can you let me marry Caroline?

There'd definitely be no mother-in-law drama.

Well, you know, that's not a bad idea.

For people in our social class, any mother-in-law drama would just make the

whole world laugh at us. That's not what you said before!

You said you were so happy Caroline chose to be with me! 21 years ago,

someone took me from you, and now 21 years later, you're gonna take Caroline

from me?

Sorry, Eve.

That's not what I meant.

I was also heartbroken when I lost you.

I've done a lot of bad things for my own benefit, but my love for my daughters?

That's never changed.

I really want you both to be happy.

Forever.

Really? Then maybe I'd believe you more if you took your hand out of John's

towel.

Old habits.

Okay, okay.

Weren't we going to tell her where Eva is? Don't just stand here. Let's go to

my office.

Really? Then maybe I'd believe you more if you took your hand out of John's

towel.

Old habits.

Do you humans just infect each other with your habits?

I thought it was a jewelry box. Yes, it is a jewelry box.

But using it for cookies?

That's how you flex.

Caroline told me you were looking for it, but there's really no clues about

Eva in here. Honestly?

I want to find her too. Ask her if she's the one who took you from me and why she

never contacted me all these years.

Eve.

Ah, is little Eve all grown up now?

Do you still cry like you did when you were little?

Mommy's fine now.

Don't worry.

So, you know who you are now, right?

Bitch, I raised your daughter for you. No need to thank me so much.

Just think of it as me paying you back for helping me escape that soul-sucking,

futile, boring family. As for where I am now, Eve, remember the nursery rhyme I

gave you?

That's the answer.

Mom!

That nursery rhyme.

Do you still remember it?

Trot, trot to Boston.

Trot, trot to Lynn.

trot trot to salem home home again boston lynn and salem no rush we can

check them one by one salem which city eva's gotta be there

that's very possible she always believed she had witch blood all right next stop

which city salem yay road trip i love this cowgirl position

gives me so much energy