Original subtitles

Here's what's been happening on White Famous.

- You must be the famous Sadie. - Famous? Am I?

Floyd speaks incredibly highly of you.

There's been an incident with our children.

Found these two kissing under a tree.

This girl is thirsty.

My son doesn't lie, he doesn't steal,

and he for sure doesn't grab girls and kiss them.

Maybe she saw something she liked, and she went for it.

Like mother, like daughter.

Is Floyd the man with whom you cuckolded me?

Did you sleep with her?

- I think I just got fired. - I just got fired.

They shut us down. They pulled the plug!

He can just do that? So the show is over?

No, it's not over.

I will exact my revenge on that motherfucker!

Floyd!

Floyd, what the fuck, man?

♪ smooth music ♪

Floyd!

I'm coming!

What the hell took you so long?

You're not answering your phone.

I don't know, maybe 'cause I'm fucking sleeping.

Well, what's the matter with you?

Do I--do I look that bad?

You look like you've been rode hard

and put away wet. But it ain't that, man.

I had this weird dream, and you were in it.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Well, did we fuck?

What the--nigga, no. Why would we fuck, Teddy?

I don't know. Dreams are weird, dude.

They're manifestations of all your hopes,

wishes, fears, anxieties, but--but never mind all that.

We don't have time to analyze your stupid fucking dreams.

Man, you gotta get dressed, okay?

- I need you to come with me. - Where?

I'm gonna go talk to Peter.

Come on, man, what good is that gonna do, man?

- You just need to let that go. - Let it go?

Let it go? What kinda stupid fucking plan is that?

I'm not letting anything go.

You know what that motherfucker is doing right now?

He's not letting us take the project anywhere else.

We're in fucking limbo, man.

He won't officially pass on it,

but he won't let us make it on our own.

It's like he's got a-- a dry thumb up my ass,

which I like, okay, but he won't do me the courtesy

of giving me a fucking reach-around.

Okay, okay, you need some sleep, Teddy.

No, fuck sleep, man. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Fuck that. Why don't we just--

okay, we gotta go to his house,

and then knock on his door

and just talk to him man to girly man.

Wait, wait, that--that sounds like a home invasion.

I'm not riding along on a home invasion.

That shit don't end well for a black man.

Well, what the fuck are we gonna do, Floyd?

I don't know what to do.

He won't meet with me. He--he won't talk with me.

I even gave him a big fat check

to cover the cost of having to drain his pool.

Nothing's working. I don't know what to do.

Huh, I think you're right. I just----

I need to get some sleep.

I just-- I need to think this through.

Yeah. Cool. See you later.

No, I'm, uh--I'm crashing.

My eyes are-- my eyes are closing.

I'm gonna--I'm gonna lay down in Balls' room, okay?

- He won't mind. - What? You--you know what,

your white privilege is getting ridiculous.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

♪ dynamic percussive music ♪

Coming.

I'm coming!

Greetings and salutations, Floyd.

Yeah, you know what, you gotta go.

I ain't got nothing to say to you.

Hit the road, lady. Skedaddle.

Okay, hold--yeah-- yes, I deserve that, okay,

but I'm here to apologize.

I just need five minutes of your time. Please hear me out.

I have a second breakfast meeting. I won't be long.

Floyd, I'm sorry. I am.

Things got way out of control.

I should've let you know what you were getting into

before we slept together.

Damn right you fucking should have.

It's just, it was only supposed to be that one night of fun,

and then I got greedy, and things got way out of hand,

- and then kids got involved. - Yeah.

I didn't-- I didn't see that one coming.

But you know what, I think this is gonna be

actually really good for your career.

It's--it's a blank slate.

I'll help Malcolm find you another gig.

I'll make him think it was his idea.

And Teddy's just so unpredictable.

- I think he's using again. - Oh, you think?

So, we're good?

As good as two people can be,

when one fucked the other one over in a big way.

- Sure. - Mmm...

Moment of complete honesty?

Being here again is making me slightly horny.

- Moment of complete honesty? - Yeah.

You're a crazy bitch.

But I'm a fun crazy bitch.

- Oh... - All right, look...

in about 15 minutes, I'm gonna walk through that door,

and I'm never coming back to this dump,

- so the--the way I see it... - Mm-hm.

If we don't capitalize on the next 15 minutes,

it's just a waste of perfectly good private parts.

Yeah.

Oh, hell no.

- Who was it? - It's your husband.

Fucking cock blocker. God damn it.

- Does he know you're here? - I don't know. Maybe.

Our therapist told us to download this app

that helps us track each other's phones.

Why?

Well, because I caught him cheating,

and then he became super paranoid

about me revenge-cheating,

and then I became obsessed with him cheating again,

and... the app keeps us honest.

Things are going real great for you guys.

You know what, that couples therapist,

- worth every fucking dime. - I think so.

Okay...

- Floyd... - Peter?

May I come in please?

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a little busy, you know,

being suddenly and viciously unemployed and all.

That's why I'm here, Floyd.

I've come, hat in hand, to beg your pardon.

Go stuff your sorry's and your saggy balls in a sack.

- See ya. - No, wait, Floyd--Floyd--

Floyd, uh, just one minute of your time?

You're--you're hurting my foot.

Just--yeah, quite badly. Thank you, um--ooh.

I--I have a bad case of, uh, plantar fasciitis...

Hm.

Um, otherwise known as policeman's heel.

Hm.

Gosh... Do--do you know,

I have not lived in a place like this

since... Who am I kidding?

I've never lived in a place like this.

I was born rich.

Good for you, Peter.

Oh, yes, look at this rig, Floyd. Whoo!

Yes, I imagine this is where the action happens.

Am I right?

Okay, here's the thing,

I, uh-- I couldn't sleep last night.

Yeah, I was tossing, I was turning.

Do you know, it turns out

that there really is a thing called white guilt.

Yes, so I've decided,

that I must come here and unburden myself.

Yes, I have wielded my power like a scythe, Floyd,

fucking over plebeian lives and livelihoods,

- and it is wrong, Floyd... - Yeah.

- And I'm sorry. - So the project's back on?

Oh, no, not at all. No, it's completely dead.

It's tainted for me.

Also, I have a feeling

that Teddy may have fallen off the wagon.

- What's down here? - So why are you here?

You could've texted me that shit.

I wanted to look into your eyes, Floyd.

- Mm. - Yes, I did.

I wanted to feel your grip.

That's solid.

And I wanted to feel the strength...

- Oh, okay. - ...of your embrace.

- Okay. Okay. Okay. - Oh, yes.

Oh, that's--that's-- that's lovely...

- Okay. - Really lovely.

- I feel so much better. - Mm.

Thank you. Bless you.

You have a beautiful home.

Cheerio.

Toodle-pip.

What did he want?

Like husband, like wife, came to apologize.

- White guilt. - Fucking pussy.

All right, are we gonna do this or what?

That's it.

Woman, you are not hearing my words.

We are not doing this.

I don't want anything to do with you

or your husband or your dysfunctional family circus.

Okay, Floyd, loud and clear.

Thanks for the fucking blue balls...

- Yeah. - Again.

What the--

Come on, Floyd. Come on.

Open up, dog. I can hear footsteps.

I know you're in there.

Come on, buddy.

Come on, buddy.

Ah, top of the morning to you, m'lady.

Fuck you doing here, Malcolm?

Well, until we land somewhere, I need a place to work.

I ain't got an office anymore.

Wait, wait, what about your fucking place?

You want me to work in my own apartment?

- That would be pathetic. - What about Starbucks?

I am a lion.

I cannot be expected to rub elbows

with a bunch of hypnotized mouth-breathers, okay?

What you want me to do?

You want me to blow my brains out?

Then you won't have any representation.

- What then, Floyd? - Okay.

Also, I'm gonna need you to roll some of my calls,

because you have a beautiful voice,

and I don't have an assistant.

- Malcolm? - Hm.

I'ma need you to leave right now.

You can't be around here all day.

I'ma end up firing your ass again.

Okay, fine, I'll go to Starbucks, shit--

oh, my butt. I gotta use the facilities.

What? Hey, no, no.

Oh--oh, this ain't New Delhi, motherfucker.

You can't just go copping a squat wherever you want to.

I can't perform in public restrooms.

Malcolm, you are Indian,

and I'm scared of your bowel movements.

Ooh, yes!

Malcolm.

- Seriously? - Yeah.

I don't want that douchebag to see me here.

Motherfucker's in there right now,

fouling on my toilet.

You know what-- you know what,

okay, it's time. You gotta go.

It's time for you to make your long-awaited exodus

from my life. Here we go. Come on.

Well, that's not very nice, Floyd.

Just because I have certain appetites, am I not human?

- Do I not cry real tears? - Yeah.

We just happened to cross paths

at a very complicated time in my life.

Motherfucking fuck.

- Who is it? Who is it? - Oh, no, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Sadie and Trevor.

So what, I'll breeze right past 'em. Who cares?

No, no, no, no, Sadie knows we've been fucking.

I can't have her thinking it's still going on.

She'll never forgive me.

Oh, because she's your mommy, Floyd?

I thought you guys were seeing other people.

It's--it's not about that. It's not about that.

It's just--it's bad enough I fucked a white woman once.

You know, twice would be unforgiveable.

That shit does not go over well in the community.

In the community?

And Floyd, where is this community?

Oh, they're everywhere, Amy.

Always watching. Always...keeping...score.

Uncle Balls, are you guys there?

Fucking shit.

Daddy...

- Hey, Daddy. - How ya be, little man?

Ah...

What's going on? What took you so long?

Oh, nothing, I was just, you know--

just, you know, it's early.

I'm tired. You know, taking a me day.

What about y'all? What you doing here?

- Can we come inside? - Uh--um, yeah, yeah, sure...

- Thank you. - Of course.

What?

Fancy meeting you here, my dear.

- Come here. - Hi--okay, you know what,

you gotta stop with the kissing.

Every time we see each other is not a kiss-hello situation.

- It's weird. - I'm a gentleman.

Sadie, it's in my DNA.

And deep down, you know it's charming.

This is our push-pull. I get it. I can wait.

So, what are y'all doing here?

Listen, I heard that the pilot went away,

and you got dropped again, so I was worried about you.

I wanted to make sure you were okay.

- Oh, that's nice. - I'm a nice person, Floyd.

- You are a nice person. - I know I'm a nice person.

Oh, sexy Sadie...

don't worry, okay, I'ma take care of your boy.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Great, I feel so much better.

Do you wanna grab breakfast with us?

Oh! You know what, I would, but, you know,

I kinda gotta sit down with Malcolm,

brainstorm, strategize.

Long-term career stuff, you know how that go.

I thought you were taking a me day.

I thought you wanted me to get the hell out of here.

Huh?

Okay, you're acting weird. What's going on?

Um, you know what, I--I didn't wanna say this,

but I kinda got somebody in my room

of the, uh--of the female variety, you know.

- Oh...right, right, right. - Yeah...

Yeah, sorry about that.

No, no, you don't have to apologize.

Um, but I will say, you're kinda turning into

a massive man whore, Floyd.

It's like you're trying to get back at me

by sport-fucking your way around town or something.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not like that at all.

- Are you sure about that? - I am sure.

- Why, you jealous? - No...

I'm having great sex these days, thank you very much.

You know you didn't have to say that.

Kinda--kinda hurt my...

I know, but it was fun, right?

- Hmm, you are jealous. - I am not jealous.

- Yes, you are. - I'm not.

Hm, yes, you are, because you wouldn't try

to be making me a little bit jealous,

if you weren't jealous yourself.

Boo-yah! Bam! Ooh, I won.

Okay, this is starting to get stupid.

Trevor, let's go.

- Really? - Yeah.

Can't I stay and play with Uncle Creepy?

Yeah, Uncle--what the--

Why--why you gotta be mean to me, man?

I'm so nice to you. I'm wicked cool.

Uh, I learned how to dab for you,

which really wasn't easy,

and I got you that fidgety spinner that you wanted.

Okay, time to go, little man.

You gotta go. Come on, come on, come on.

- Time to go. - Oh!

Check out this traitorous climber.

What's going on, Sir Laurence Olivi-ain't?

Malcolm...

Oh--oh--what's that? Oh, oh, look at that.

Oh, my phone's blowing up. My life is great.

I'm doing good without you.

- Great. Good. - Okay...

- What are you doing here? - Um...

well, it--it's not what it looks like.

What does it look like?

Because we had--we--

- What? - This is Gwen.

Uh, Gwen is an actress, slash, former nanny.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - Hi, nice to meet you too.

We were rehearsing nearby, and we wanted to--

We just wanted to come by

and say sorry about the pilot.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

- This must be Trevor. - Wait, is this Robbie?

The British black guy with the annoying accent?

Okay, you know what, I'm so sorry,

I did not expect you guys to be meeting like this.

Well, uh, maybe I should go.

- No, no, you should stay. - You know what,

maybe y'all should go out, you know, break bread together.

- Wait, what? Are you serious? - Yeah, why not?

Well, I just thought it would be more of a discussion,

like you would have some stricter guidelines

about this situation.

- Oh, Sadie... - What?

- It is what it is. - Okay.

You can't put toothpaste back in the tube now.

We're all grownups here. Maturity, man, it works. Mm.

You're being surprisingly cool about this, Floyd.

I'm full of surprises, Sadie.

- I am so sorry about that... - No, it's--

All right, Dad, how do you want me to play this?

Should I give him a hard time?

Should I say, "You're not my father,"

every time he tries to be nice to me.

I mean, that's what they do on TV.

For sure, I like where you are. I like it a lot,

all right, but no, be your charming little self,

and be open about however who feel about him.

Yeah, okay, I'll try it.

But that doesn't sound like it'll be as much fun.

Probably not, but hey, keep an eye open.

You spot anything suspicious, let me know.

- I got your back, Dad. - Okay.

I'm not gonna let him replace you,

no matter how cool he is.

- I love you. - Love you.

Come on.

- Hey... - Hi. All right, let's go.

- Yeah, come on. Yeah, come on. - Pancakes.

- Bye. - All right, see you later.

Whoo!

No, see, the thing is is I'm a free agent,

but my client list is fucking killer.

Yeah, of course I'll hold.

Yeah.

No, I don't have Robbie McDonald anymore,

because honestly, he's not that good of an actor.

He's just another Brit with a drug problem.

Yeah, yeah, cat tranquilizers. Foaming at the mouth...

Hi.

Hey, uh, what-- what's this about?

- What you looking for? - Nothing, nobody, yeah.

Are you okay? You're acting nervous.

Yeah, you know, just, uh, you slipped away for a second.

Just saw a chance to check out your place.

So, what's up, Gwen?

I'm just sorry, the way everything panned out.

It's really unfair.

And yeah, Robbie's talented, and he's a star in the making,

but I really wanted to work with you, Floyd.

And you were so cool to me that night

at that horrific dinner party.

- I know what this is about. - You do?

Yeah. You crushing on the kid.

And you know what, it's just not a great time, Gwen.

All right? Like, you know--

and I'm trying to stick with black women from now on,

because, you know, your snow angles

are just nothing but trouble.

Floyd, I don't have a crush on you.

I actually just started seeing somebody.

I'm truly here just to tell you

I'm sorry for how things played out.

'Kay, I guess I just confuse things these days.

It's--it's not that you're not attractive,

'cause you are, objectively.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Okay, then stop right there. Right back at you.

You know, I can definitely see

how Peter fell down the well with you.

Yeah, well, if you had to come home to that cunty wife

of his every night...

I don't know if I'd necessarily describe her as cunty.

You wouldn't? She's a total cunt.

No, scratch that, she takes the warm and fuzzy out of cunt.

Are you fucking kidding me right now?

You had the nerve to jerk off my husband

in my own home, and you call me a cunt?

Ooh...

I've always wanted to do that.

Ooh. No--no--

Ooh...

Ooh.

No, see, it's not about the money,

because I'm all about-- what the...

Uh, no. No, no, not you.

No, no, I'm about the work, is what I was saying,

and, uh, I would love to be with any of the majors,

but I'll go anywhere, um, 'cause you know what,

I'm a great diversity hire, and also...

I don't know, maybe I'm gay. I have no idea.

Everyone falls somewhere on the Kinsey scale.

What the hell's going on, Floyd?

- What? - Was that Amy?

Nope.

Really? It sounded like Amy.

Nah, man, it's just--

just a girl I met at the club last night.

- You know how that go. - Oh, yeah? That's cool.

Did you, uh---- did you, uh--did you rail her?

- Sure. - That's good.

Uh, you go down on her and make her cum?

'Cause that's important, 'kay? You gotta make 'em cum.

That's how you get the return business.

Yeah.

That's how you become a great fucking stickman.

Okay, anybody could stuff once, twice,

but if they keep coming back and you do it with class--

- Okay, Teddy, you gotta go! - No, no, no, no, Floyd,

we need to sit down, okay, right now,

and figure out a way to get to Peter, okay?

But first, you need to get Malcolm

the fuck out of here.

The sight of him makes me sick to my stomach.

I mean, I can't stand him

and his dandy fucking suits, man.

He makes me mad.

Yeah, you, you jobless fucking vagrant.

You can't polish a turd.

Teddy, that is hurtful, and it's hate-speak.

Oh, please, it's truism.

Benjamin Franklin would tell you the same exact thing.

Now, Benjamin Franklin,

that was a great fucking stickman.

Underrated. He did so much in such a short period of time,

dime piece after dime piece of fair--

Floyd, just one more thing-- oh, Christ...

Hello, Tedward. Malcolm, how are you?

Uh, Peter, I--I've been trying to get ahold of you.

You--you got him here, Floyd? That's--that's good work.

Yes, I've obviously been avoiding you on purpose, Teddy.

Oh, fuck that, okay. This is what's important.

Okay, this is what's going to happen right now.

You're gonna give me the rights back

to Angry Black right now,

so I can do whatever I want with it

with no restrictions, you understand?

Uh, no, Teddy, Angry Black is dead and buried.

No, Pete, you better watch your mouth, okay,

or Angry Black isn't gonna be

the only thing that's dead and buried.

Oh, are you threatening me?

Oh, are you fucking learning disabled?

Yes, of course I'm threatening you.

I have a feeling it's probably time for you

to toddle off to another rehab, Teddy.

Oh, fuck that, and fuck you, man.

Rehab is for quitters.

Well, I came here to talk to Floyd.

Okay, well, if you're speaking to Floyd,

you're speaking to me. Isn't that right, Floyd?

- Really? - Really.

- Hm-hm. - Yeah.

- Floyd? - Floyd?

- Uh, ain't that right, Floyd? - Floyd can talk for Floyd.

Right now, Floyd wants everybody

to get the fuck out of this house,

starting with you. Come on.

No, Floyd, you're making a terrible mistake.

Go shove a spiny dick up your ass!

- Fuck out of here. - Get him out, Floyd!

- Floyd, I was driving... - Oh, shit!

And I was, uh----

I was driving.

Um--uh, truth be told, I got a little lost.

I don't really know this part of town very well.

It's, uh--well, it turns out it's a little scary.

Um, very urban. Anyway, I was thinking,

I really need to make things up to you,

and, as you know, I've cast Robbie and Gwen

in a multi-camera pilot.

Actually, it's an interracial rom-com.

Very funny.

Um, anyway, there's a part,

and I think it could be a much better showcase

for your talents than anything in Angry Black,

so...read the script.

Think about it.

- Word? - Hm.

You know what, Peter, I thought about it,

- and I think it's a-- - It's a brilliant idea.

Peter, wow, thank you for the opportunity.

- I'll be in touch. - Good one, Malcolm.

- Ah! - Hey, yo! Fucko!

Don't fucko me, you ridiculous colonialite.

Oh, English, motherfucker, English!

- Excuse me? - You can't just come in here

and break up this band.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh, shit.

♪ rock music ♪

Yeah!

- Fuck you. - Gonad strike!

It was Yoko's fault, you cocksucker!

- Don't--don't hurt-- - What should I do?

Ah!

Get the weed!

Get--no--

No, I wanna fuck--

Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter--

No, not the blue one--

Shit.

Damn.

I wish I could be happier about seeing that smarmy fuck

go down like a sack of potatoes.

The motherfucker's out cold, man. We should call 911.

No, no, no, no, no 911, no authorities.

I'm, uh--I'm holding.

What fresh hell is this?

Oh, Amy, thank God. What--what are you doing here?

Your assistant called.

You didn't show up to your breakfast meeting,

and you weren't answering your phone,

so I used the app that Dr. Lawson recommended,

and I tracked your phone, and I came back here.

That is why couples therapy is good for us.

Oh, my baby.

- Wait, wait... - What?

- Sorry, uh, back? - What?

- B--back, you said come back. - Oh, yes, yes,

I was here earlier, uh, to apologize to Floyd.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Well, that's-- that's awfully nice of you.

- Mm-hm. - That's so considerate.

Wait--wait, did you fuck him again?

No. No, we actually-- we didn't do anything.

Question, did you kill Malcolm?

Wait--wait, you--you--you-- you fucked Amy?

I didn't not fuck Amy.

Wait, this is all your fault?

I--I thought it was because I shit in his pool.

Yeah, well, that didn't exactly help matters, Tedward.

And that's not exactly what happened.

Oh, well, tell us exactly what happened, Floyd.

Do tell. Share the detes.

Did she love your big black cock?

Did she say, "Oh, yeah,

give me some of that N-word dick"?

- Something like that? - She just...

No, it was a rhetorical question.

That's not my style, okay?

I'm actually into breath play these days,

- just so you know. - Look, am I a perfect man?

- No. - No, no, you're right.

I'm not. Have I strayed from time to time? Yes, yes.

Do I occasionally think strange racist thoughts?

Yes, sure.

But I don't deserve this shit, all right?

I am pushing boulders up a mountain.

Every day, I am singlehandedly trying

to change the culture.

- Oh... - Oh, give me a break, Peter,

you're not a fucking PC crusader.

You're Willy Loman in a better suit,

and diversity is just a new set of encyclopedias

you're trying to pawn off on people.

- Shut the fuck up, man. - Hey, is Malcolm alive or not?

Because if you've killed someone, Peter,

your career is over,

and if you've killed a minority,

- you're really fucked. - How is this my fault?

Wait--and...

why is it worse if you kill a minority?

Oh, no, it's not actually worse.

- It just looks worse. - Oh, fine.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's okay.

Hey, buddy...hey, buddy.

- Ahh! - Oh...

All you had to do was just slap him across the face--

- Should've done it harder. - Yeah.

Ow, f--shit.

Hey--hey, who peed on me?

- Ooh, that's you. - Damn.

You did that pee pee-- pee stain.

Horrible little boy--

All right, here's what's gonna happen.

I started this thing, I'm gonna finish it right now.

Peter, you're gonna let the project go.

- Oh, am I? - You are, yeah.

These are talented artists.

Don't fuck with them for petty reasons.

Just let them do their thing.

Amy, you're the best.

I'm so turned on right now.

You--you really gave it to her, huh?

That's nice, Floyd.

I'm jealous.

I'm right here. Right here.

So what, I am a little jealous.

Yeah, I--I--we're both right here.

- Shut the fuck up. - I'm sorry.

What about me? There better be something in this

for an innocent man who got bong-slapped.

All right, it goes against every fiber in my being,

and I'm gonna have to call in a huge favor,

but I will get you another gig, Malcolm.

- Are you happy? - Very.

It better be one of the majors, though.

- Don't push it, dick. - Thank you.

All right, Peter, let's go. Oh, moment of complete honesty.

Oh--oh, yes, yes.

You're a good man, Peter. You really are.

It's just such a fucked up world

we're living in right now.

So why don't we go home to our amazing house,

lick our wounds, watch some Tiny House Hunters...

- Mmm. - And maybe we'll have sex.

Oh, yes. Oh...

you haven't licked my wounds for years.

I've never licked your wounds, Peter.

Oh, well, that's what you think.

Tomorrow's another day, Peter.

- Let us depart, my dear. - Ooh, very British.

Yeah?

'Cause this really is a rather filthy apartment.

By the way, what is this breath play you speak of?

- It sounds very intriguing. - Oh!

I found it on the Internet.

Hey! What about me?

What do I get for hosting this bullshit?

What do you get?

You get the gift that keeps on giving, Floyd.

You get to work with me, man.

- Oh... - Maybe we turn this thing

into a feature. Yes, man, we go out there,

we get some financing, we take no money upfront,

no interference from fucks like that.

See, that's what happens when you trust the process.

This is-- we're back in business, Floyd.

Gonna make a fucking classic, man!

White people love touching people, don't they?

Oh, my God.

Hello? Yeah.

I'm all banged up, Floyd.

I'm gonna take a nap.

I took a schluff.

♪ slow hip-hop music ♪

Yo, man, what the fuck I miss?

Don't ask.

All right, I can do that.

Pretty sure I don't fuck with

this Hollywood shit anymore, Balls.

Gotta keep it simple, motherfucker.

Gotta learn to walk before you run, man.

I mean, what does it profit a man

to gain the whole world,

and yet forfeit his soul?

Facts.

Oh, he'll be there.

He'll be there, and he'll fucking crush it,

'cause he's my guy.

Thank you. Peace.

Oh, shit, Floyd.

I've been the head of my own agency

for less than an hour, suffered a severe concussion,

and I still got you a fucking audition,

so get on up.

Get up off that crooked couch, and let's make some money.

And you better wash your balls too,

'cause they fucking stink.

What are you doing? Balls...Balls, come on.

No, Floyd--Floyd, let me get my--

Come on, Floyd!

♪ Tyrone Briggs' "Get On Up" playing ♪

♪ Came to jump right in no matter what ♪

♪ If you knock me down I'ma get on up ♪

♪ Break top speed when you hit the ground ♪

♪ Just get on up when you get knocked down ♪

♪ Came to jump right in no matter what ♪

♪ If you knock me down I'ma get on up ♪

♪ Break top speed when you hit the ground ♪

♪ Just get on up when you get knocked down ♪

♪ Get on up ♪

♪ Get on up ♪

♪ Get up, get up, get up, get up ♪

♪ Hey! Uh! From the soul! ♪

♪ Came to jump right in no matter what ♪

♪ If you knock me down I'ma get on up ♪

♪ Break top speed when you hit the ground ♪

♪ Just get on up when you get knocked down ♪