Original subtitles

From the outset, this programme contains scenes of violence

and threats that some viewers may find distressing,

strong language, offensive and discriminatory attitudes,

and scenes of a sexual nature

LOUD BANGING, WHIMPERS

No!

BANGING AND HAMMERING ON DOOR

MUSIC: Ever Fallen in Love by The Buzzcocks

Get out of my house!

Saul? SAUL?

I'm not standing for this. I'm calling the police,

and I'm doing it right now!

DIAL TONE

OPERATOR: Emergency, which service? Police.

OFFICER: You're through to the police.

Can you tell me what's happened? Er, my name is Leo Struthers,

I live at 5 Calico Road, and there's a man in my house!

Can you describe what's happened? Are you in any danger?

Why don't you tell them you've been texting my son?

I'm sorry, can you tell me what's happened? Is the man still there?

Er, sorry, it's my neighbour. I... I made a mistake.

I-I-I gave him a key.

His name is Clive Goss,

7 Calico Road. Is this being recorded?

Do you require assistance?

No, no, it IS my neighbour, Clive Goss,

7 Calico Road. Sorry for wasting your time.

He's 16 years old. Did he show you that?

It's on your computer.

So, he doesn't know? He doesn't know that you've seen it,

because you could fuck up his whole life?

And you'd like to fuck him up!

Jesus Christ! No! I would not! No!

So, do you want me to call out your wife, and Saul?

Do you want me to call them out here and see what you're doing?

Because the police have got your name and address.

You do so much as TOUCH me and...

LEO'S VOICE: You can have all the wild and crazy hot sex you want,

night after night.

That was a mistake and I am sorry.

Come inside.

I'm sorry, OK?

I shouldn't have spoken to him.

I was just trying to help, but I was wrong.

OK, let me explain, OK?

Let me tell you what happened. Have you fucked him?

No! No, I have not!

OK, shall we...?

Want one?

It was just a mistake...

..because we were both on the apps. You know the apps I mean.

And he's too young to be there.

He shouldn't do that. But then HE messaged ME!

SHOUTING: Oh, don't you...?

You're texting him about wanking

and cumming and anal sex. Now, what have you done to him? OK!

OK, Clive! I'm sorry, OK? Please, don't.

I talk to your son about sex...

..because he can't talk to his dad, can he?

Can he ask you? No.

If he needs to pour out his heart to his father, then...

..you failed him, Clive.

You failed.

How did you get his number then?

It's on the Calico Road group chat.

Oh, yeah.

Have you...

..ever touched my son?

Have you touched Lucy Clark? What's she got to do with it?

Well, she's 16, she lives five doors down, have you fucked her?

Don't be disgusting. SHOUTING: Well, then!

YOU have both my sons being dirty on your computer.

Here, look. Look. Right, hang on. Hang on, look. Look.

This is for you, girls. There. You like that, do you?

We all saw that at work, and we were laughing

because THAT is how your son makes his money.

He wanks off and gets paid for it,

next door, in your house! Nothing to do with me.

And then he posts it online.

Maybe we should show the Calico Road group chat that,

because it's gonna bring the house prices down!

Or up, maybe. You think it's funny?

Yeah, I'm laughing my fucking head off, Clive.

Now step away and sit down.

Step away from me.

Don't do this to yourself, Clive.

Never mind me.

Just...

..don't do this to yourself.

Why are you not rich?

What? Electricians, you make a fortune.

I asked you to fix my wiring, you're free the next day.

You should be booked up for months. What's wrong with you?

There's a case, like a legal thing, you know.

I didn't do anything wrong, all right?

Oh, God, did you burn someone's house down? Like you'd know.

Well, I'd know not to burn someone's house down.

No, it's not that, it's just...

..lawyers.

Do you know why I didn't tell the police?

Yeah! Cos you're guilty!

Let me tell you a story about my staff.

You know, it's like it creeps through the walls.

You and your thoughts and...

I sleep ten feet away and I infect George?

Yeah. You sleep two feet away. Why don't you infect him?

Why isn't he stupid and straight, like you?

Cos I don't stand a chance, do I?

You lot.

On the telly every night, aren't you?

You're watching something and two minutes later it's men kissing.

And it can be anything.

It can be, like, Dickens or policemen and you're all at it,

and you go online

and every other face is a man in lipstick,

cos you are making it normal for children!

I mean, you look at George, eh?

I mean, you have got him.

And he was never...

He was trouble from the start.

When he was born, George...

It went wrong.

Marie had an infection. An infection of the vaginal tract.

What do you think about that, eh?

You don't like words like that, do you?

So, what happened?

You know, we should be rich! We could've

sued the NHS for a fortune, but...

..he was sick. George.

For days, and people were so sorry. You know, they kept saying,

"Good luck. Fingers crossed," you know,

"Thinking of you," and I was so...

..embarrassed. Embarrassed?

You were embarrassed? Yeah.

You mean you were scared. I was ashamed.

Why?

Because he was weak.

He was a baby.

He was mine...

..and he got it wrong.

I was gonna tell you a story.

In my bar, we get drifters,

Young people. Yeah, I bet you do.

They come to Manchester, they escape from wherever they've come from...

..and they're a bit lost.

They don't have any money and their first job is behind the bar.

Yeah, and you lure them in.

So, they come and work for me.

And all right, they're kids. Yeah, exactly.

18, 19 and...

..a bit hopeless.

And some of them are lazy and drunk and stupid, but...

And sometimes they work for a week and I never see them again, but...

..sometimes they're brilliant, and funny,

and they work really, really hard, and then during the lockdown...

Oh, Jesus, you don't believe that shit, do you?

They literally said it was a lie! They proved it!

True or not, it happened.

And during that time...

..three of them killed themselves.

Three of those kids.

I know three boys who killed themselves.

Well, good riddance.

Three of those daft boys took their own lives,

in their tiny little bedsits, or their godawful little flats,

they shoved down pills and drifted out of this world, because...

..they had nothing.

They had no family. Do you get that?

They were queer little kids who thought they could never go home,

and so they sat on their own and they died.

One of them left a note that said...

.."I'm sorry I was so rubbish."

Do you want that to be George?

He'd never do that.

He's weak.

Those boys, that's...

That's why I tried to help.

But I will never speak to George again, I promise, and...

But that's not even the problem.

The problem is YOU know he's gay, and that is the wrong way round.

He should tell you. It's his life, it's his choice, it's his decision.

He lives under my roof.

He's not a dog. Will you listen to me?

We have stolen that from him, both of us.

Me from being stupid and you from breaking into my house.

You broke into my house!

You broke into my bloody house.

But we've robbed him.

And if his life goes wrong at 16, then maybe...

..he gets on a train, moves to London,

gets a tiny little room, works behind a bar,

and HE ends up leaving a note saying,

"I'm sorry I was rubbish." Is that what you want?

Can he grow out of it?

You know, is it like...? Is it just a phase?

Maybe?

Oh, bollocks, no, sorry!

I've never met a phase in my life.

He's gay, and bent, and homosexual for his entire life,

and frankly you should put out the bunting,

cos I'll tell you what,

when you are old and dribbling, Clive Goss,

and you need someone to wipe your arse,

it'll be your gay son who does it.

Saul will be too busy fighting about paternity

with his third slapper of a wife!

God, you...

You have got some nerve, haven't you?

Yeah. Cos that's gay, too.

We shine and burn...

..mate. It can be a phase. I know that for a fact,

cos look at your husband.

He lived here, and God knows we heard you through that wall.

You want to know where George gets his ideas from? Well, it's you.

Cos it was very, very clear which one of you was the lady.

We all heard you, Leo, eh, whinnying like a bitch.

We'd sit in that house and we would cringe for you.

And then what happens? Your beloved Curtis,

he finds a real woman and he runs off with her.

Isn't that right, eh?

I suppose so. Yeah.

So a gay man can turn back.

OK, no.

Well, technically...

I... It's possible,

so, yeah, it's possible for George, yes.

Yeah, yeah. I said so, didn't I? Yeah, well, you proved it. You win.

So just leave him alone. Cos if you confront him,

you might push him the wrong way. Or the right way.

Oh, Jesus, Clive, I don't know. Just don't say anything.

And you've not touched him?

No!

I have not!

Hey, do you think they heard that through the wall, huh?

Cos the funny thing is, Clive,

I've never heard you and Marie fucking, why's that?

Don't be disgusting. No, why is that?

You know, you're obsessed. Not a peep.

You want to tell me why that is?

I don't know, maybe you're getting it elsewhere?

Don't say anything to George.

I'm asking you seriously.

Don't force him out.

Just be nice to him!

DOOR OPENS

You all right?

Yeah.

Good.

You all right? Yeah.

Is George home? He's in his room.

KNOCKING

It's me. What?

Um, your debt to Mr Struthers, I'll pay that for you,

but you just don't talk to him again, all right? Have you got that?

OK.

And...

..stay off that thing.

Where did you get to?

I just went out.

You want a word with him next door.

He was playing music SO loud.

What are you doing that for?

Been a while.

I don't give a fuck about stupid little George!

It's the council. If they get a complaint about me

and child porn, there goes my licence. I'd have to close the bar.

Oh, don't be so stupid.

He was in your house.

Go back to the police!

It's not child porn.

George is 16 anyway.

Oh, well, that's a relief. Thanks, Carly. Old enough to bum.

But you have taken away his agency.

Someone as old as you should never be giving advice to someone my age.

Yeah, Carly, here's another piece of advice - fuck off!

You asked for that.

You can't stay in that house, Leo.

You've got to move.

It's going to calm down. I listened out last night.

No shouting, nothing.

I just need to change my locks, and then I'm done.

I went 14 years barely saying a word to him, I can do the same again.

Morning, guv. You all right?

Oh, bollocks.

I mean, who's going to finish a job half done?

Clive Goss, the big bad boss has left it in a right mess.

How much is it going to cost me?

Least of your worries. You should go to the police.

He attacked you. That's assault. Pick up the phone and report him.

It wasn't quite assault. He...

Oh. Uh, OK, I need to see what every other venue in

Greater Manchester is charging. Will you make a list?

Yes, boss. Thanks.

It was more like he grabbed me and we kind of jostled a bit, you know?

Seriously, though, listen to me.

He invaded your home.

It's like those men who steal knickers off the line.

It's not a small crime. You should always report them,

because that's an actual fact in policing.

Once a man crosses that line, it can escalate.

I think we're worrying about the wrong person.

OK, George is stuck with that man night and day.

What were their names again, the three boys during lockdown?

There was little Jimmy, Hassan, and who was the third one?

Peter Beddoes.

Peter Beddoes...

And that's just the three we know about.

It's funny to think they saved my life last night.

Oh, my God. He's here.

What? Oh, shit.

Right.

You OK?

No. Because you're here.

They turned up, so I let them in. Is that OK?

I just want to finish this job.

I'd like a word with you.

In private.

I've got it.

Did I do the right thing?

Oh, brought your bodyguard with you?

I'll knock you flat out, mate.

Listen, you don't want me here and I don't want to be here,

all right? So, I'll get this job done end of the day

and I'll be gone, all right? Ah, you need my money, don't you?

Yeah, and you need that fixed.

Did we say cash? We did.

I've changed my mind. Invoice me.

Because I don't like people who dodge their tax.

But I've still got the job? Yes.

But I have to ask, is everything all right?

With George. Did you say anything? No, no, no,

you do not talk about my son.

All right? No word to Saul.

We forget about it and we move on, all right? Are we done?

No, we're not. I have to say something.

Curtis is 58-years-old.

My hus... Ah, my ex is 58.

I met him when he was 44. He is a grown man,

because that is who I go out with, not children.

If I have to live next door to you, I am scared.

If that's what you think of me, I am so scared.

You... You terrify me.

Proud of yourself? No, it's... It's OK.

Look, I can't change your mind, but I'm asking you,

look at where you get this stuff from

and why you believe it.

Cos you'll believe anything online.

You'll believe a shock jock, you'll believe YouTube,

but I live next door to you and you have known me for 14 years.

Why don't you believe me?!

I'll pay you cash.

Mikey, am I missing something here, with my dad?

Cos when he kicked off yesterday,

did anyone tell him about my OnlyFans?

No, not in a million years. Why?

Did he say something?

No, it's weird. I got a new subscriber last night, yeah?

And the name says Clive Goss.

You choose your own username, yeah? You don't use your real name.

No-one does. He'd have to pick Clive Goss on purpose.

It can't be him. Then why does it say it?

Mate, it's a fetish.

Someone you know is into father and son.

Oh, Christ. Still, he's paying. Whack it out.

You'd love that.Gimme! BOTH LAUGH

What are you doing tomorrow afternoon? Are you into footy?

Hmm, I like the legs. We're watching the match at my house,

cos I've got this deal with that sportswear.

Do you know 20 Cents? They send crates of beer,

I get the lads round, we all just wear 20 Cents T-shirts,

make a bit of content, we have a good laugh.

We get pissed for free, basically. Do you want to come?

You, drunk, in a tight T-shirt?

Works for me.

Your mates might not like it, though. Hey.

Oh, sorry. Did it again! Me and my big mouth.

Me and my big everything.

All right, Daddy, don't report me to the boss.

Fuck sake, Dad, lighten up.

Selfie.

FOOTSTEPS THUMPING DOWNSTAIRS

Where do you think you're going? going? Hey, you're grounded!

We told you you're grounded! George!

There you are.

Thank you very much.

You're going to have to refit the wiring in 2027,

because Amendment 4 says so,

to harmonise with European levels.

We never really did leave Europe, did we?

That was all just another lie.

Anyway, it's not my problem,

I'm done.

POUNDING DANCE MUSIC

Hey. Take it home and unload everything,

otherwise the van gets robbed. And I mean everything.

Where are you going?

For a drink.

Hello, handsome.

SIREN WAILS

Hiya. Hi. I'm Zee. Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

Hi, then, George. Hello.

Yeah. Great.

So what are you thinking?

Where do you want to go? I'm not being funny,

but do you even get served in pubs? Yeah, I'm not a kid.

OK. Well, I'm buying, just in case.

I don't want to go to Canal Street. Not with my brother

and my dad and the man next door. And, anyway,

not being rude, but it's a bit past it, isn't it?

It's all a bit old.

It is a bit, yeah.

How about Northern Quarter?

Yeah. That's good. Great.

POUNDING DANCE MUSIC

Come on in!

Hiya.

Front bar to office.

There could be trouble, your mate's back.

I thought you were done. What are you doing here?

If this is my son's life, then let me see it. Clive, don't make

any trouble. You told me to learn, so here I am.

I reckon this is the one bar round here

that people will leave me alone in.

OK, exclusion zone, I get it. Right.

What's she doing here? No, no, no, you can sit over here.

OK.

Hey, darling, you go on a break. What can I get you?

Uh-huh.

Scenes of violence that some viewers may find distressing

And my dad's all right. I mean, I don't think he's happy,

but he doesn't go on about it.

Just keeps saying, "He," and then he's like, "Oh, sorry,

"sorry, sorry,' all the time, but a lot of people do that.

That's amazing, though. You're amazing.

No, I'm not. I just wake up every day

and get on with it.

If I can do it, anyone can.

Cos when I said about Canal Street,

I mean, I have been there before. Never went inside.

I just kind of, you know, walked up and down and then went home.

Because?

Er, you know,

I'm kind of a bit gay, I suppose.

Or bi maybe.

Great. Good for you.

Is that all right? It's brilliant.

I've just never said it before.

Well, now you have. Did the world end? No.

Well, then.

I said it. You see?

All you needed was a night out with me.

Don't tell anyone, though. No. I won't.

But you're ready now, George.

You've said it once, you can say it again.

Think what it was like for me. I had to come out to my parents

and tell them that I was a woman, and then I had to tell them

that I was a lesbian.

OK? You're still in nappies compared to me, kid.

Aayushi. Hiya. Did you hear?

Beryl's back in town. And she's better.

No way.

We're going to go and see her now, she's back in the old flat.

Oh, come with us. Do you want to?

Yeah.

# Smokey rooms

# Bloodshot eyes

# People dancing just to feel something nice

# Oh, no

# Maybe the kids ain't all right... #

Hi!

# Maybe the kids ain't all right. #

Fuck sake, Zee, where have you been?

SQUEALS: Come here!

I thought I was never going to see you again. No, I'm back for good!

Er, this is George. George, this is Beryl,

otherwise known as Beryl the Peril,

otherwise known as The Travesty.

I am mother. She is mother.

Come here. Oh, fuck sake, what is that?

Is that Lynx Africa? How much did you put on?

Is it too much?

It's the entire continent, darling. I can smell zebra.

LAUGHTER

POUNDING DANCE MUSIC

Just the one. Ready?

Oh, just one more. Oh, he learns fast!

Seven.

Cheers. Cheers!

How are you?

My name is Regime, the queen of your dreams,

and I declare, ladies and gents,

others and neithers, bitches and fuckboys,

nutters and mothers, tonight is going to be a night!

Woo!

No.

I'm not the only one in school. There's this boy, Winston.

He's amazing. These three girls, they're like a threesome,

like properly. And there's this boy in the canteen. He's so fit.

Two, one.

CHEERING

Looks so good.

Oi, you. Have you chosen your name yet?

Still can't decide. What do you mean?

I'm called Zee, but it's just a placeholder. I got stuck with it.

I've got three choices.

Annabel, Flo,

not Florence, just Flo,

and Rachel. So, what do you think?

Well, it's not up to me. But for you, Zeelinda,

it is time to decide!

LAUGHTER

Right. You three turn around.

Zee, you can look now.

Oh. Your true name is your choice.

So, pick the right one.

Because your name is written on the back of

the last person you'd fuck.

Oh, surely not! Got to choose!

Not me. You've had me.

LAUGHTER

CHANTING: Choose, choose, choose! Choose, choose, choose!

OK, I'm sorry, George. Sorry.

Reveal the name!

Oh, my God.

Flo.

I love it! My name's Flo!

CHEERING

We look good.

# And the red, red robin

# Goes bob, bob, bobbing along

# Along! #

BEEPING

Boss, to the back? Yeah, I need to go. OK, just go. Go.

Oi, Sir. Is that really you, Sir?

Lads, get here quickly. Need help. Straight away.

Fucking freak. Stop it! Stop it!

Hey!

Hanna. Get an ambulance!

Right, when you get home, go straight to the bathroom.

Cos you're going to need more than water, OK?

Find your mum's make-up remover. Just rub it in and wipe it off.

I had the best time.

So did I. You're amazing.

Right. Get home to bed.

And as soon as you get in, take it off.

Yes, bro, that's right. Know what I'm saying, innit?

LAUGHTER

Hey.

I just wanted to say thank you. I can get you a cab.

I've got one coming. I can put it on account.

I'm not poor.

Well, you were great. Thanks.

So, she's a teacher? And is it she?

She, yeah, when she's in drag. She calls herself Regime,

and when he's out of drag it's Martin.

And, yes, he is a teacher, an English teacher.

He's on supply at Union Street.

They were kids from his class.

I've got her blood on me, you think that's safe?

Yeah, definitely.

Well, I mean, I don't know,

it's up to Martin, it's none of our business.

But it doesn't matter. You know, that was...

It's not like the old days.

Blood isn't dangerous. That was a long time ago.

Yeah, well, you'd know, wouldn't you?

Yes.

HIV positive.

32 years, I'm absolutely fine, thank you.

It's not a problem, is it?

It's not real anyway, is it? HIV.

Billions of dollars spent on nothing.

That's not me saying that, it's one of the Kennedys,

United States Secretary of Health. Yeah, well, fuck me, he's wrong.

Yeah, well, you would say that, wouldn't you? Yeah, well, I would,

because I became positive in 1994

and I've lived through this. I'm sorry, but you have not.

And you know what pisses me off?

Me.

Cos I just said sorry.

All these years since 1994 I've been apologising

to men like you saying, "Sorry", and, "Thank you",

and, "Please", and, "Oh, I hope you don't mind,"

cos that's how we fit in.

Every day,

we crush ourselves and beg to be liked,

our eyes like fucking puppies.

Well, you know what? To hell with all that.

I am not sorry, and I do not thank you,

not for anything, not ever, so fuck off!

Just... Just, just, just go back, get off my street

and go home. And here. Take that.

I don't need it. No, you know what you say? You say thank you, Clive.

You say thank you to me.

the same way I've been thanking you and your kind for six decades!

Thank you.

Yes.

Yes!

Yes!

DOOR OPENS

Are you all right? Yeah.

Your dad's not in, so you got lucky.

Just this once, OK?

DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

Where have you been?

Knock, knock.

Drink some of this and you'll feel better in the morning.

Where did you get to?

Out.

What's wrong? Nothing.

What's wrong with your hand? Jesus Christ.

# I can read your body language

# And I know what's on your mind

# Only one thing left to do, boy

# I can see it in your eyes

# Cos I'm a bad, bad baby

# Push my buttons, I'll go crazy

# Do you know how to make me... #

# Dripping sweat down my body-ody

# Feeling so naughty

# Ooh, we got ain't got nothing to lose... #

PHONE PINGS

I swear it gets madder and madder, that family next door.

As if gay little George, the artful fucking dodger,

wasn't bad enough, and his mad, bad dad.

Oh, guess what, he's into HIV denial now.

And there was a fight last night at the club.

We've got so much to catch up on.

Oh, and on top of everything else,

they're having one of their football days next door,

so it's going to be a bit noisy. Maybe we should go out for lunch.

No, I've got lunch all sorted. I've got a surprise.

Come outside, help me carry it.

So, what's the surprise? Have a look.

Oh, my God! Albertine called. She was having a party for her dad,

he fell over, he's in hospital. Oh. Oh, boo.

And all of this is going to waste.

Buffet! The best food in the world.

Beige food, it's all going spare.

# We've got goujons! # LEO LAUGHS

So, what did you say? There was a fight?

Yeah, last night. And he was there, Clive Goss,

Goss the Boss. I think he's a jinx.

I truly think he is a bad luck charm,

because this whole trouble kicked off

with that one-night stand, Eddie.

That was the day I had to go over to Clive's house.

When was that?

Do you remember? Then he installed the bloody key safe.

Then he ended up working at mine.

Next thing you know, George takes the key and helps himself.

Then I find Clive in my house.

And he's there when this fight breaks out.

Hey!

Swear to God, that's the end of it. I've had enough.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media