Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[STAMMERING] Come here, Fuzzball. Come take your medicine.

-[PORKY SCREAMING] -[FUZZBALL SCREECHING]

[GROANS]

-[KNOCK ON DOOR] -Huh!

Coming.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

-Beep, beep, beep, beep. -[GASPING]

False alarm. Just a pig in a tiny sports coat.

-Who are you? -Daffy Duck.

Martian Investigations.

I'’ve been tracking a Martian for several months

and have reason to believe he is in the vicinity.

[STAMMERING] Martians? Are you crazy?

Of course I'’m not crazy.

Would a crazy person be wearing this tin-foil hat

to block out electromagnetic radio waves?

Look, Mr. Duck, there are no Martians here.

It'’s just me and my cat. Meet Fuzzball.

Well, this is a Martian detector.

It beeps whenever there'’s a Martian around.

Your cat could be a Martian in disguise.

-Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. -[SCREECHING]

Stop it! He'’s just a cat.

Just get out of here, would you?

Fine! But if you see a Martian, you know where to find me.

I have no idea where to find you.

I live in that station wagon stuffed with trash across the street.

The neighbor has been trying to get that car removed for weeks.

Eminent domain, pal.

He is a crazy duck.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

-I said-- -Hello there, inferior life form.

I just moved in next door and was wondering

if I could borrow a cup of sugar.

Oh, of course.

-Here you go. -Oh, thank you.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

What a nice fella. He must be making a pie.

-Or having a picnic or... -[RUMBLING]

[RUMBLING CONTINUES]

[GASPS] Or using it to fuel

[STAMMERING] the giant Martian bomb.

[SCREAMING] Mr. Duck! You were right!

Hush! My stories are on.

Ronaldo was tricked into dating his twin sister.

There'’s a Martian living next door

and he is trying to blow up the world.

Ronaldo can wait.

First off, you'’re gonna need a tin-foil hat.

Secondly, we'’re gonna need the most hi-tech Martian weapon known to man.

-[PORKY GRUNTS] -Feast your eyes on this.

Hey! That'’s my satellite dish.

"Satellite dish?"

This is an Alien Communicator.

If you have one of these, you'’re in cahoots with aliens.

But everyone around here has one of these.

Oh, no! The Martians are taking over.

We have to hurry.

Okay, I'’ve set up a picnic to lure up the Martian.

Now, when I say the words, "Potato salad,"

you drop the alien communicator on his head.

-Got it. -That Martian will be flatter than a pancake

in a rolling pin factory. Whoo-hoo!

[CLANGING]

Hello there, neighbor.

I'’m chairman on the neighborhood welcoming committee,

here to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Sorry, but I am very busy at this time.

Oh, come on now. We'’re having a picnic in your honor.

A picnic? Let'’s go.

I'’ve got everything a Mart... A man can eat.

Hamburgers, hot dogs.

-Potato salad! -[CLANGS]

Oh, goody goody.

I could survive the rest of my life on potato salad.

-I could have potato salad for breakfast, -[CLANGS]

-potato salad for lunch, -[CLANGS]

-and potato salad for dinner. -[CLANGS]

Oh, look at me.

-I'’m eating potato salad -[CLANGS]

-and saying potato salad. -[CLANGS]

Did I get him?

[GROANING] I feel like a potato salad.

Greetings, Martian brother, I am Quirk.

And I am Quirk too.

You'’re Quirk II or Quirk also?

Yes.

We are aliens from the planet Jupiter

and we were wondering if you could help us fix our flying saucer.

Of course. Where is it?

I thought you'’d never ask.

So if you'’re from Jupiter, you must know Menular.

Oh. Yeah, we know Menular. He is a great guy.

Guy? Menular is a woman.

Oh, that Menular, what a sweet little lady.

Little? She'’s 30-feet tall.

Look, let'’s just talk about the spacecraft.

This isn'’t a spaceship.

It'’s a station wagon filled with trash.

And now, it'’s filled with aliens.

What are you doing?

Saving the world from a Martian bomb.

Bomb? What bomb

The bomb you have in your backyard.

Let'’s go, Porky.

Hmm. Diffusing this bomb is going to require

the skill and precision of a surgeon.

[GRUNTS]

This is it! The end of the world!

We'’re finished, we'’re--

Cream corn?

It seems to be raining food.

I was trying to tell you.

I wasn'’t coming to destroy the world,

I was coming here to end world hunger.

Nice try.

But this cream corn'’s too much cream and not enough corn.

Oh, you'’ve ruined everything!

I thought you Earthlings were worth saving

but you have shown me that you'’re all just a bunch of paranoid loonies!

Come on, Fuzzball, lets go.

[PORKY GRUNTS]

[COUGHS]

I knew there was something weird about that cat.

[STAMMERING] Well, that would explain why his litter box

was filled with asteroids.

[TAZ GROWLING]

Why is this thing chasing me?

"Tasmanian Devil"?

Well, what do you know.

[GROWLING CONTINUES]

[SNIFFLING]

[SNEEZING]

Who knew Tasmanian Devils were allergic to mint?

[EXCLAIMS] '’Tis I, Sir Littlechin,

and I have finally caught the wood fairy of the forest.

The rest of the knights at the Square Table will be tots jealous.

Hey, doc, I'’m not a wood fairy, I'’m just a rabbit.

Drat, I was hoping to catch a wood fairy,

they'’re extremely rare.

Though I must admit I'’ve never seen one.

Sorry, doc, I'’m just a common everyday rabbit.

Oh, that'’s all right. I'’m getting hungry for lunch

and, oh, I suppose I'’ll eat you instead.

Well, this took quite a turn.

I do apologize

but if I have to find the wood fairy, I have to keep my strength up.

Well, wait. If you eat me I can'’t tell you how to find the wood fairy.

You know where to find a wood fairy?

Of course, I do. It'’s right over there.

[BURPS]

[GRUNTING]

Mmm, that wood fairy is positively grotesque.

The wood fairies aren'’t known for their table manners.

I shall capture this wood fairy and teach it some etiquette.

[GRUNTING]

Aha, got you.

-[GROWLING] -[LITTLECHIN GROANING]

Littlechin has the little spins.

Ooh, enough!

If you won'’t come easily, then taste my steel.

[GROWLS]

Egad, I didn'’t mean literally.

-Why you-- -[GROWLS]

[TAZ GROWLS]

[BURPS]

It would appear that I'’m out of weapons.

I bid you good day.

-[GROWLING] -[LITTLECHIN YELPING]

[GROANING]

Turns out wood fairies are very aggressive.

Look, doc, if you want to get a wood fairy, you can'’t just attack it directly.

You got to be sneaky. Come with me.

[LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC PLAYING]

So that'’s how you do the mating dance of the wood fairy.

I get the dance

but how is wearing this dress supposed to help me catch it?

I told you, doc, you can'’t perform a mating dance without a dress.

But it makes me look fat.

Wood fairies don'’t judge.

Now, once the wood fairy is distracted,

you knock it over the head with this club.

I got it.

Here he comes now. Good luck.

[GROWLING]

-LITTLECHIN: Yoo-hoo. -Who was that?

Prepare to be entranced.

[CONTINUES GROWLING]

[LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROWLS EXCITEDLY]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Look at that. He tore right through your armor.

We need to get you a wood fairyproof suit.

Where would I get such a thing?

I just happen to have one right here.

[GRUNTS]

It fits perfectly.

Now all we have to do is run a couple of tests to make sure it works.

What kind-- [SCREAMS]

First, the log test,

then the flame test.

[SCREAMING]

And, finally, the cheese fondue test.

[GRUNTING]

Wood fairies love communal eating.

Now let'’s see how it does in the field.

I'’m coming for you, wood fairy.

[GROWLS]

Ready, ho!

-[GROWLING] -[LITTLECHIN YELPING]

Leave me alone, wood fairy.

I want nothing more to do with you.

[GROWLS] Wood fairy?

"Tasmanian Devil"?

But that rabbit told me you were a wood fairy.

[GROWLING]

[NERVOUSLY] Hello.

[TAZ GROWLING]

Nighty night, rabbit.

[GASPS]

Could it be?

Yes, the mystical wood fairy.

At last, she'’s mine.

A man!

Um, actually, I think there'’s been a slight mistake.

Ooh, love don'’t make mistake, sugar.

No, pucker up, you big hunky man!

[LITTTLECHIN WHIMPERS]

Ooh, I love '’em when they run. [CHUCKLING]

[LITTLECHIN SCREAMING]

[GROWLS]

[LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROWLS EXCITEDLY]

If you wanna catch a Tasmanian Devil,

remember to, "castanet."

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]