Original subtitles

Oh, I got grape juice on my silky jacket.

Oh, hello, I didn'’t see you there.

Welcome to another episode of Elmer Fudd'’s Literwawy Cwassics.

I'’m your host, Elmer Fudd.

[LAUGHING]

Today'’s folk tale was considered by many to be

the greatest love story of all time.

It'’s actually the second greatest.

The greatest love story is between me and my wava lamp.

Oh, I love you wava lamp.

Look at your colorful bubbles floating up and down.

No, the love story I'’m talking about

starts here in the jungle.

and it concerns two boys who fell for the same girl.

The first boy was the greedy king of the jungle, King Thes.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ What a great party What a great feast

♪ Everybody worshiping And loving this beast

♪ I got all these great gifts Just for being King

♪ If I want it, its mine I'’ve got every single thing ♪

ELMER: The other boy was King Thes'’ pwo wowey servant

the good-natured Porky Pig.

♪ What a great party So many great friends

♪ But, now it'’s time To work now that the fun Has reached its end

♪ This place Won'’t clean itself

♪ it'’s not right To leave a mess ♪

♪ I'’m sorry I don'’t clean

♪ have you forgotten I'’m King Thes ♪

♪ '’Cause if we ever Have this place to be clean

♪ We gotta pick up what'’s left

♪ So, let'’s clean up

♪ I really cleaned up

♪ We gotta clean up this trash

♪ Pick up everything

♪ I clean up with this loot

♪ Because I am the King

[BOTH SINGING] ♪ We both clean up

♪ Tonight

[DRUM ROLL]

ELMER: The King and his servant

couldn'’t agree on anything. [LIGHT TURNS ON]

That is, until she walked in.

ELMER: [LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

Ooh!

[GULPS] Ah!

♪ I'’m just cleaning up

♪ Just cleaning up

♪ And in walks the most beautiful[STAMMERS] girl

♪ The most beautiful girl

♪ In this part Of the[STAMMERS] world

♪ I just cleaned up Got all the stuff I want

♪ When who walks up

♪ But the most beautiful girl

♪ The most beautiful girl

♪ In my

♪ Part of the world ♪

ELMER: Dazzled by her delectable demeanor

the two immediately

began competing for her affection.

-♪ I think you-- -♪ Dropped this

♪ It dropped On this guy'’s face

♪ And I picked it up And gave it to you

[BOTH SINGING] ♪ Would you like To go out with me?

BOTH: You?

♪ You'’re just A pig who'’s broke

♪ Your possessions are a joke

♪ You don'’t have Anything to offer

♪ There'’s only air Inside your coffer

♪ You'’re just A king who'’s mean

♪ Your gold'’s not worth

♪ If you'’re selfish, Cold and rude

♪ Never in a happy mood

[BOTH SINGING] ♪ You'’ll treat her poorly

♪ And that'’s for sure

♪ She deserves more

♪ More than the poor life

♪ You'’re ensuring she adores

♪ It seems to me

♪ We both agree To what this lovely lady needs

♪ Me, me

♪ Me!

♪ Yes, I will go out with you

♪ Both of you

♪ I'’ll give Both of you a chance

♪ Forest, you'’ll find romance

♪ One date in the morning

♪ Another in the afternoon

♪ And then I'’ll make my choice

♪ By the warm light Of the moon

♪ Sorry to say this And ruin your life

♪ But, by the end of the day That girl will be my wife

♪ It'’s I who must apologize To you, my King

♪ But, by the end of the day She will be wearing my ring

♪ Tess will be mine

♪ Tess will be mine Wait I thought Her name was Beth

- ♪ It is Beth -[STAMMERS] Beth?

- ♪ Beth -♪ Are we both saying The same thing here, Beth?

♪ Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth!

♪ My name is Petunia

♪ Oh so I was kinda right

♪ See you tomorrow

♪ And I'’ll see you later tomorrow

♪ I hope you like losing

♪ '’Cause that'’s what You'’re gonna do

♪ You'’re gonna lose her Like you losing, losing loser

[GRUNTING]

♪ Um, can you help me With this? ♪

[FLUSHING] [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

And so it was set.

Petunia would go on a date

with both, King Thes and Porky so each would have a chance

to show her why they were deserving of her wove.

It'’s not unlike the day I saw my wava lamp

at the store for only $14.95.

You were on sale, weren'’t you, you wovely wava lamp.

Anyway, Petunia would go out with King Thes in the morning

Porky in the afternoon

and give her answer at night,

which is when my wava lamp shines brightest.

♪ It'’s a lovely day

♪ Made even more beautiful Because of you

♪ And the beauty you cast

♪ Upon me

It is a lovely day.

♪ Autumn time

♪ Such good, crisp weather

-♪ Don'’t need a jacket -♪ And so we got a sweater ♪

♪ The moon is high

♪ And the pumpkins are ripening ♪

♪ Sometimes I find scarecrows

♪ Frightening ♪

♪ I must say I'’m very surprised

♪ Of how sweet You'’re being to me

♪ Telling me I look lovely ♪

♪ Oh that I was talking To the gold coins

♪ But, if you marry me You too will have

♪ All the lovely gold coins You could imagine

♪ We could travel the world

♪ Have adventures You'’ve only dreamed of

♪ I am King And you could be my Queen

♪ Can Porky offer you Anything this alluring? ♪

KING THES: [GRUNTS] I'’m [STAMMERS] so sorry.

♪ Isn'’t it time For our date? ♪

♪ I guess Porky can Give you something ♪

A mud bath.

♪You should clean yourself up You look terrible ♪

Can you help me with this?

ELMER: Petunia was entwanced by the king.

Can you blame her? He'’s rich for crying out loud.

Poor Porky had his work cut out for him.

♪ It'’s a lovely day

♪ With a lovely lady ♪

♪ It'’s lovely To be treated so lovely

♪ By such a lovely guy

♪ Thes can be so mean

- ♪ Selfish and petty ♪ -♪ So, not lovely

♪ Then why do you choose To date him? ♪

♪ He is the King after all

♪ His life has So much opportunity

♪ I could grow Accustomed to that life ♪

♪ I could make a good life For you too

♪ It wouldn'’t be a rich life

[BOTH SINGING] ♪ But, it would be A lovely life

♪ Lovely ♪

♪ Lovely ♪

♪ It would be lovely ♪

ELMER: The two were getting along swimmingly.

But, before Porky had a chance to tell Petunia how he felt

The jealous king appeared and ruined their wove fest.

♪ The date is coming to an end

♪ Day is turning into night

♪ And I'’m not giving up My lady without a fight

♪ I challenge you

♪ Why would you Want him anyway?

♪ I'’ve got everything And this guy'’s got nothing

♪ I'’ve got money I'’ve got riches

♪ Which is weight On my bridges

♪ I'’ve got silver I'’ve got gold

♪ I store silver In my gold boats

♪ I'’ve cars could take you far

♪ And arms to hold you near

♪ But, this guy Ain'’t got nothing

♪ And that is oh so clear ♪

I also actually have crystals.

♪ It'’s true I don'’t have money

♪ I'’m not handsome, smart Or funny

♪ I don'’t have cars Or planes or, boats Or a castle with a moat

♪ There'’s not A single thing I own That I could recite

♪ And yet I have amassed All the finer things in life

♪ I have moonlight I have kindness

♪ I have sunshine get the gist?

-♪And I also have a mouth -♪And you also have a mouth

BOTH: ♪ That'’s filled with King Thes'’ fist ♪

♪ Then I guess it looks like This row boat is

- ♪ For me -♪ Hey, that'’s my boat ♪

♪ I need some time to think

♪ I'’ll see you later tonight

♪ With my decision ♪

ELMER: The two had no idea who she would choose

They swan ashore to await their fate.

♪ I'’ve made my choice It'’s time you know

♪ The one with which my heart

♪ Will go ♪

♪ Petunia'’s my gal, not yours

♪ I own her dress, her back Her shoes her pearls

♪ She will be my wife

♪ Legally bound

♪ You knew it from the start ♪

♪ You may own all those things Around her

♪ But, it'’s I who own her heart

♪ Petunia'’s my gal, it'’s true

♪ She likes that I am Kind of sweet And most of all not you

♪ In me she'’s found A mate for life

♪ Despite your riches That are so big

♪ You may be King of the Jungle

♪ But, she left you For a[STAMMERS] pig ♪

♪ So, it'’s me, right?

-♪ No, I'’m sure it'’s me -♪ Me ♪

-♪ Me ♪ -PETUNIA: Me!

I choose me!

BOTH: Huh?

♪ I mean, look at you two

♪ This isn'’t about me anymore

♪ It'’s just about you And your silly competition

♪ I don'’t need either of you

♪ And neither of you Are worthy of me

♪ I'’m better off on my own

-♪ I will take this though ♪ -[COINS CHINKING]

[SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I guess we lost sight Of what mattered the most

♪ We were wrapped up In all of our strife

♪ So, now we have lost

♪ The most important thing In life ♪

Gold? No.

Hmm. [STAMMERS] ♪ Love ♪

Love of gold?

I'’m just joking.

♪ '’Cause if we ever Wanna find true love

♪ We must clean up our act

[BOTH SINGING] ♪Let'’s clean up

♪ Let'’s get cleaned up

♪ We need to clean up Our fronts

♪ And clean up our backs

♪ And also clean up Both of our acts

♪ Let'’s clean up

♪ Our acts ♪

You first. [STAMMERS] No, you.

Yeah, no, you.

Well, it looks like no one got the girl at the end.

Or, did they?

Ready to go cutie?

Listen, you can only date a wava lamp for so long.

[LAUGHS]