Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

-KING: Leslie! -Yes, Uncle?

-Call me, "Your Majesty." -Yes, Uncle Your Majesty.

Where is the royal court composer?

My birthday celebration won't be complete

until I hear my new birthday song.

Unfortunately, sire, there was an accident.

A hammer mysteriously came out of nowhere and smashed his hands.

He won't be playing piano for a while.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

But no matter, I can be your new royal court composer.

Leslie, you haven't a speck of musical ability,

so I'm going to say a big fat no to that.

Oh, I think you'll change your tune... [CHUCKLES]

After you hear this song I wrote for you, Uncle Your Majesty.

No, Leslie, don't!

I'll show the king I'm good at music and stuff.

[CRACKS KNUCKLES] And he'll make me the new royal court composer.

Then, I work my way up the royal ladder and eventually become king.

-[PLAYS PIANO OFF-KEY] -Uh, no, uh, wait.

Wait, uh, no.

KING: Please, Leslie, you are ruining my birthday.

[AUDIENCE MURMURING]

Wait, uh, hold on, no, I'll...

Is that Rachmaninoff? More like, man, knock it off.

See those little black marks on the page? They're called notes.

Maybe try playing a few. See what happens.

-I'm doing my best. -Oh, yeah?

[CONTINUES PLAYING OFF-KEY]

Folks, I know he stinks. You know he stinks.

But let's give him a shot.

Well, if you think you could do better, why don't you try it?

Sure, pal, can't do any worse.

[BLOWS NOSE]

[PLAYS CLASSICAL MUSIC]

[GRUNTS]

KING: That's the greatest music I have ever heard!

This duck will be my new royal court composer!

-[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS] -Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.

KING: Duck, as my new court composer,

you must write me a royal opera.

An opera?

I have no idea what that even is, but I would love to!

What? [GROANING] But I wanted that job!

KING: [LAUGHS] No, Leslie, please. You're terrible.

[YELPS]

[WHIMPERS]

[GROANS] That duck won't be able to write his opera if his piano is out of tune.

[THUDS] Oh, no!

I can't believe I've gotta write an entire opera.

Good this I got this Opera for Duckiesbook.

Just gotta pound away on those ivories and get this thing in shape.

First off, we need a killer opening. Something like...

♪ The opera begins Listen to this music As the opera begins

♪ Open all your candy And chew very, very classily As the opera begins ♪

[GRUNTS] Oh!

Then, we need a hit single.

Something that will make the Top 40.

♪ This ditty is very catchy

♪ It's a melody you'll never forgetty

♪ You will like it when it's brand new-uh

♪ Then you'll get so sick of it that you will puke-uh ♪

[GRUNTS]

And then a big rousing finale to send 'em home with a smile.

♪ It's the end The end of the show

♪ We can't sing no more

-♪ So, grab your stuff and go Please grab your stuff and go -[MOANS]

♪ Grab your coats And grab your hats

♪ Hit the road And don't come back ♪

I guess this piano can't handle my genius.

[LESLIE GROANING]

What do you have for me, royal court composer?

Your Majesty, may I present my opera, Don Rigatoni.

It's based on a local pasta maker.

[INSTRUMENTS TUNING]

I know how to ruin this duck's music.

I'll sing it!

Once I step on stage, this opera will be a flopera.

And then the king will certainly fire that duck

and I'll finally become the court composer.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

[ROUSING MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba Moo moo moo moo moo moo

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

♪ Yum yum yum yum yum yum Cluck cluck cluck Cluck cluck cluck ♪

Oh, my! That guy is terrible. It's missing something.

Ah, yes!

-I forgot the badger. -[SNARLING]

Oink! [SCREAMING]

Needs more badger.

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

Um, I don't know if we need jackals just yet.

Okay, jackals, go!

-[BARKING] -[SCREAMS]

[SINGS HIGH NOTE]

[MUSIC STOPS]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

KING: That was amazing!

Who was that wonderful singer who played Rigatoni?

-[GRUNTS] -One moment, please.

[MOANS]

[GASPS] Leslie, that was you? I loved the opera!

But what really impressed me was your singing.

I loved it so much

I demand to see the show every night for the foreseeable future,

with the duck conducting and you singing.

And don't forget the badger!

[SCREAMS]

Just goes to show ya, you can never have too much badger.

[SHRIEKS] Hoo, hoo, hoo!

[CHITTERING WILDLY]

Huh?

[CLUCKING]

[LAUGHS] Chicken!

[CLUCKING PANICKEDLY]

Boy, I say, boy, put that back down.

[MUTTERING]

Say, what kind of weasel are you, anyhow?

[CHATTERING WILDLY]

[COUGHS]

[FOGHORN READING]

Sounds foreign.

Anyhow, didn't you read the sign?

[READING]

I'm Foghorn, and this is my farm.

Or what's left of it, anyway.

Look at me when I'm talking to you, boy.

And stick that tongue back in your mouth.

Look, it's my job to protect these ladies.

I can't let you waltz in here and eat them for lunch.

But I do love a challenge. Good luck, boy.

Next time you try to steal one of my chickens, don't make it so obvious.

Boy's head is about as empty as a syrup bottle in a pancake festival.

[GRUNTING ANGRILY]

Boy, you stink worse than a skunk wrapped in Limburger cheese.

Didn't your mama ever teach you how to bathe?

You gotta scrub, son.

Get into all of your nooks and crannies.

Now, if you want to get over a fence, you gotta use your head, boy.

Why don't you just use this here giant rubber band, and take another crack at it?

[CHITTERING WILDLY]

[SCREAMS]

Don't worry, I've got ya!

Played a little ball in the bush leagues.

Crowd nicknamed me The Missed.

'Cause every time I went to the plate, I swung and missed.

Sorry there, son. I forgot to catch you.

Fall a little closer there next time, would you?

Listen, boy, you are sticking out like a sore thumb.

You gotta blend in with your surroundings.

It's called camouflage, son. That's a word. Look it up.

Now, try again.

[GRUNTS]

I said, now, try again.

[GRUNTS]

I told you they called me The Missed.

[CHITTERING WILDLY]

[GROWLS]

FOGHORN: Feeding time, ladies!

Come and get it. Huh?

Why, if it isn't a little tree,

sprouting up in my chicken coop.

Say, looks a little green.

You know, I think I'll just go and take a nice long walk.

So long, ladies!

Take care of yourselves, while I leave you all alone with no protection for hours.

[CLUCKING PANICKEDLY]

Ow!

You call this camouflage?

Why don't you just wear a big neon sign that says,

"Look at me, I'm stealing chickens."

If you're serious about stealing chickens,

you gotta do a whole lot better than that.

[SHRIEKS]

Here's a tip, boy.

If you can't go over the fence,

and you can't go through the fence,

what's another way to get past it?

Hmm.

Under it, boy! Come on, now, take a hike.

Boy's flakier than a pie crust in a snowstorm.

[CHITTERING WILDLY]

You might have guessed by now that I'm messing with his mind.

If he had a mind to mess with, that is.

ROBOT: Cluck, cluck, cluck.

Close enough. It's show time, anyhow.

[YELPS]

Hey, boy, look at the size of this one.

It's just waiting for you to sink your teeth into it.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS AND GROANS]

[SCREAMS]

Come on, boy, you can get this bird.

All you gotta do is keep up your left.

Your other left, son.

Now, get back in there.

Boy's dimmer than a 10-cent light bulb.

[YELPS]

[GROANS]

Well, I've had my fun for the day.

I think I'll put Mr. Robot on autopilot for a while.

To say that boy is as smart as a box of rocks

would be an insult to the rocks.

He's got one card in his deck.

He's as thick as day-old tapioca pudding.

He...

Just ate my robot.

You realize that was fake, right?

Made of metal, not a real chicken.

[GULPS]

An authentic chicken's got feathers.

And a beak and a wattle like this, you understand?

Hmm.

Say, boy, now, take it easy.

I was just trying to educate you is all.

[SCREAMING]

Easy, boy! We're all friends here.

Big chicken.

I'm a rooster, son.

I'd teach you the difference, but I'm too chicken.

He may rule the roost, but Taz ruled the rooster.

[LAUGHS]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]