Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

-Back, dragon! -[CLANGING]

I, Sir Littlechin, have sworn to banish you from this land.

-[CLANGING INCREASES] -And banish you, I will.

En guard!Touche! S'il vous plait!

[GIGGLING]

We agreed there would be no tickling.

[SLURPS] Ah! I love the fall.

The pumpkin spice coffee, the pumpkin spice cookies,

the pumpkin spice deodorants. [SNIFFING] Ah...

Pumpkin-ey fresh.

-[DRAGON ROARING] -[SCORCHING]

-Egad! -[ROARING CONTINUES]

The pumpkin spice aftershave.

[SCORCHING]

[QUACKS FAINTLY]

It burns.

Prepare to meet your doom, dragon.

Taste the wrath of my blade!

-[MUSCLES TEARING] -[SHRIEKING]

Oh, my back! I threw my back out! Time out, time out.

Oh, I'm so sorry, dragon.

Ooh, I shall need a few days to recover.

Oh, I'm getting too old to fight dragons.

-[WHISTLING] -If only there was some way to feel

-like my youthful self again. -[CRASHING]

Hark! Who goes there?

[SHOUTING]

Zounds! A phoenix rising from the ashes. Huzzah!

[SIGHS] Thank you, pumpkin spice water.

-[CLANGS] -Ah-ha! I've got you, phoenix.

Huh? What are you talking about?

Oh, don't try and fool me.

I just saw you shed your old age and become young again.

Right, 'cause that's what a phoenix does?

Yes!

A phoenix is a mythical creature that goes through the three phases of life

before rising from the ashes as a younger version of itself.

Right, right, right, because that's what I am.

-A phoenix... -Now, out with it!

Teach me your secrets of youth.

You know, the right thing to do would be to tell him he's made a mistake.

But I never do the right thing.

Okay, bub, if you want my youth secrets,

you gotta let me out first.

-You won't run away, will you? -I promise.

-Okay. -I'm gonna fly away!

-[EXCLAIMS] -[CHEERING]

Get back here, bird!

Come and get me.

-[WHISTLES] -Ah-ha!

[LAUGHING] I've got you.

And you'll never... [EXCLAIMING]

-[WHISTLES] -I...

Wait a minute...

If you're over there, then who's leg am I-- [CHOMPS]

[SCREAMS]

Ooh! You tricked me, phoenix.

I wasn't tricking you.

I was teaching you Daffy the phoenix's secrets of youth.

Secrets to youth number one, don't act your age.

I... I don't understand.

Didn't you feel like a kid again, jumping in those leaves?

-Yeah, a little bit. -See, you felt younger.

Let me show you some more secrets. [SNAPS]

Now, when middle-aged men want to feel young

they've got to learn the secret of youth number two,

break out of your comfort zone and go into the danger zone!

[YELPS] But I don't have fairy wings.

You don't need fairy wings in the danger zone.

-You need a parachute. Like this. -[SHRIEKS]

[WHIMPERING] I don't want to do this anymore!

Come on, pal, there's no place for fear in the danger zone.

-[SHAKING] -[SCREAMING]

Mother, Father, Robert. Mother, Father, Robert.

Give me your parachute. You don't need it, you can fly.

-Here you go, pal. -Oh, thank you.

What the... Food as a parachute?

That wasn't a parachute. That was my lunch.

Save me! I'm too beautiful to die.

Okay, chum. Just a sec.

-This ought to do it. -And what's this for?

It's for the danger zone.

[SCREAMING]

[ROPE STRAINS]

-[SIGHS] -[ROPE SPRINGS]

-[YELPING] -[THUDDING]

[GRUNTS PAINFULLY]

If you still feel old,

try secret to youth number three,

exercise!

It's time to sweat with some dance aerobics, disco style.

-[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING] -Up and down, up and down.

Feel that boogie beat!

Feel that rhythm rock your body from your head down to your feet!

-[EXCLAIMING] -[CLACKING]

-Pick that nose, pick that nose! -[GRUNTING]

Don't be shy, really dig in there.

I said feel that boogie. Don't look for it.

-Now, pick up that rock. -[STRAINING]

-I did it! -And hold it... Hold it. And...

-Now, slap that face. Slap that face! -[SLAPPING]

-[SLAPPING] -[GRUNTING]

Now, spank that rump. Spank that rump!

-[SPANKING] -[GASPING]

-[SPANKING CONTINUES] -Faster, harder! Faster, harder!

-Now, pick that nose! -Now I'm really starting to feel the burn.

-Now, do all three! -Ah, it's working! Huzzah!

-Wait a minute. Oh. [GRUNTS] -[CRASHING]

-Good job. -Enough!

My body is feeble and my bones ache.

I... I...

Oh, wait a second...

This is the last stop on the journey of life.

Yes! Any moment now, I will be reborn young again.

Oh, what a journey. Thank you.

Thank you, phoenix.

Uh, full disclosure. I'm a duck.

[CHEERING]

-[SQUEAKS] -[SHOUTS]

-Nobody... -[CLANGING]

Makes...

A fool...

-Of Sir-- [SCREAMS] -[MUSCLES TEARING]

-Oh, my back! My back went out again! -No worries.

I'm an unlicensed chiropractor.

-[BASHING] -[GRUNTING]

There you go, pal.

How does that feel?

Better...

In fact, a lot better.

Oh, I feel like a new knight risen from the ashes.

I'm ready to take on that dragon again!

Game on, dragon-- [SHRIEKING]

[DRAGON SCREECHING]

Not fair, dragon! Not fair!

It was just youthful boasting!

Secret to youth number four,

if life comes at you too fast...

Duck.

-[GPS BEEPING] -GPS: In 100 feet, turn right. Turn right.

-Turn right. Turn right. -Oh, turn off!

GPS? More like G-P-Guess!

This phone's got me way off course.

Ooh! Look at that.

That must be it. Whoo-hoo!

Here he comes, my lowly subjects.

-[GRUNTS] -Let the celebration begin.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Welcome, visitor. I am King Thes, ruler of this island.

You are our guest of honor.

-Ooh, thank you! Thank you. -[CROWD CHEERING]

When I saw this giant duck, I figured this place knew how to treat a fella like me.

Oh, indeed we do.

High priestess? [CLAPPING]

In accordance to our legends and bylaws we will first pamper our guest of honor.

Oh, yes. By all means, pamper away.

-Then we'll feast. -I'm tracking with you.

-Followed by entertainment. -Roger that.

-Then a parade. -So far so cool.

And, finally, we're going to push you into the volcano.

Yep, then push me into the volca-- No!

[RUMBLING]

I'm cool with the other stuff, but that last one...

Listen, you. We are going to throw you in the volcano

so that the gods will grant us proper and just leadership.

And that leader is me.

[SPITTING] Understand?

Okay, okay. I'll play along.

Could you also see if the gods would throw in an umbrella?

Sheesh.

To start, the sacrifice and leader.

That's me.

-I'm the leader! -Yeah. Got it. Insecure much?

They shall dine on this delicious feast.

-[GIGGLING AND SLURPING] -Ooh, boy!

Look at this spread.

Hey, everybody. Sacrifice here. Free lunch on me.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Hey, what about me?

I saved the best for you.

Here, have some fromunda cheese.

[SNIFFS] Ugh, this smells terrible.

Where'd this come from?

From this walrus.

From under this walrus.

That's not cheese! [SPITS]

Here! Have some PB&J.

[CHOMPING]

This peanut butter tastes weird.

Oh, that's not peanut butter. The "PB" stands for "pickled beets."

[GROANING] What's the "J" stand for?

-DAFFY: Jam. -[SIGHS]

Toe jam! I used what I had on hand.

Or on toe, rather.

[RETCHING]

-[CHOMPING] -[SCREAMS]

We will now start the entertainment portion of the festivities.

Oh, goody-goody! Dance for your king.

Hey, I've got a better idea.

-[GRUNTS] -Change of plans, Thes-ey poo.

We won't watch the entertainment. We'll be the entertainment!

-[VOCALIZING] -[GRUNTING]

-Now it's time for the fire dance! -[GASPS]

-[SMOLDERING] -[GASPING] Hot!

Say, that's pretty hot stuff.

Let's heat things up a notch.

-[STRUGGLING] -You're really fired up now.

Big finish!

DAFFY: Ta-da!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Hey. We're a hit. Take a bow, Your Highness.

Well, uh, thank you. Oh, thank you.

[SHRIEKS]

-[CHOMPING] -[WHIMPERING]

I knew those clams would come through in a pinch.

All right, no more entertainment.

It's sacrificing time.

Yes, but before that, you and the duck

must lead the parade up the mountain.

Ooh! I love parades.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Who's ready to have fun and go wild?

Won't be too fun for you when we throw you into the volcano.

Well, someone's not getting any beads.

DAFFY: Let this parade begin!

Wait a minute. There's two paths here.

Clearly we're gonna take that one, right?

No, no, no, no, no. I'm the king

and I say we're going down this path.

Uh, I think the duck is right.

Now you're speaking my language, sister.

Do you mind carrying me? I have flat feet.

Fine. I'll show you.

I'm taking the king's path.

This isn't so bad.

-[THES SCREAMING] -[HISSING]

So many snakes... [MUTTERING AND GROANING]

[GROWLING]

THES: Nice crocodiles, nice...

-[CROCODILE CHOMPS] -[THES SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

-[MUMBLES] -[THUDS]

Yikes. The boss doesn't look so good.

He should have taken our path.

It had an escalator.

Maybe it's time you kiddos put this king out to pasture.

THES: Enough!

Let's just toss this chitty-chatty duck in the volcano

and be done with it!

-MISS COUGAR: Actually... -What?

The islanders and I have been talking, and we like the duck.

What? Then what about the sacrifice?

Oh, we'll still have the sacrifice.

Good! Who's it gonna be?

-You. -Me?

Well... I can't be the sacrifice. I'm the king.

Not anymore! Whoo-hoo!

Get back here, you userping duck!

[THES GRUMBLING]

Get over here! Give me back my crown!

Okay. Here, take it.

[GRUNTS] Huh?

[SHRIEKS]

-[YELPING] -[POOFS]

CROWD: All hail King Daffy!

I'm so glad you're all here to witness my crowning moment.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Hey, what do you know? I'm a peaking duck.

[CROWD GROANING]

THES: I demand a recount!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]