Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

KING: And so we say goodbye

to one of our beloved Knights of the Square Table.

Best of luck in your retirement, Sir Toots-a-lot.

[TOOTS]

[FARTS]

We must now add a new knight to help protect the kingdom.

-Leslie? -Uh, yes, uncle?

Call me "Your Majesty."

Yes, Your Majesty.

My tootsies are tired.

Ugh. Yes, Your Majesty.

In order to become a knight,

one must pull the sword out from the ceramic turtle.

I'll remove the sword, Your Majesty.

[STRAINING]

Leslie, I really don't think you're cut out to be a knight.

[STRUGGLING] Should have done more upper body work at the gym.

[PANTING]

Behold, our newest Knight of the Square Table.

Who me? I'm Bugs Bunny.

I'm just a serf guy.

Plus, all I did was take this here sword out.

That's all you have to do.

KING: Behold, Sir Bugs Bunny, a knight to the Square Table.

[CROWD CHEERING]

We shall have a dance in his honor.

Ooh, that rabbit has foiled my plans. No matter!

Once I destroy him and take his place at the Square Table,

all the riches of the kingdom will be mine.

-Mine! [GRUNTS] -[CRASHING]

[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

I want you to shoot Sir Bugs Bunny

with an arrow as soon as you get a clear shot.

I'm going down there to make sure he dances into your cross hairs.

Get it? "Hairs."

Oh, never mind. I'll go down there.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Uh, may I cut in?

Of course.

[SCREAMS]

What's the matter, Doc?

Nothing. I just really love this song.

Yowza!

What's up, Doc? You pull a hammy?

Just adding some flare to my dancing.

[GASPS]

[YELPING]

This guy takes shaking a tail feather to a whole new level.

[PANTING] Looks like I'm going to have to go with plan B.

-Plan B? -Oh, I almost forgot.

I bear a message.

Thy help is needed.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I must attend to a personal matter.

[MOANING]

"Dearest and most valiant, Sir Bugs. Please help me.

"I'm being held prisoner against my will in a tower of Shoesberry.

"I've enclosed a picture."

[HONKING]

You said it, Sir Toots-a-lot.

Gotta safe her!

Two arms! Two legs. Let's go!

LESLIE: Okay,

100 gold pieces each for you to clobber Sir Bugs.

I mean, the next random person who enters this room with these sticks.

No matter who it is. Understand?

When they walk in, let them have it.

Yay. [GIGGLES]

-[HORSE WHINNYING] -It is I, Sir Bugs Bunny.

Knight of the Square Table.

I'm here to rescue you.

[EXPLODING]

[GRUNTS] You look a lot different than your royal painting.

[IMITATING WOMAN] Oh, I guess I forgot to moisturize today.

Please, you must save me.

Of course I will. Come on.

I assure you, sire, this door is the way out.

-This one? -Yes.

-Are you sure? -Absolutely.

-Eh-- -[NORMAL VOICE] Go! It's this one!

[CLEARS THROAT AND GIGGLES]

Well then, it is the knight's charge to always defer to the grace of a lady.

-[KISSES] -[TITTERING]

Please, after you.

Oh, thank you, my lord. That is very...

-[SHOUTING] -[BEATING]

My lady, you must have sensed there was a trap

and boldly walked in to save me.

Yeah, yes. [GRUNTS]

Now, let's try the way we came in.

My noble steed awaits.

[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS]

-[GASPING] -[HORSE WHINNIES]

[SIGHS] I guess she'll always be the one that got away.

That's it! I challenge you to a duel.

[STRAINING]

-[BANGING] -[SHOUTING]

Not again!

I tried everything to unseat you from the Square Table

but I failed.

Listen, Leslie.

If you wanna be a knight so bad,

why don't you just take my place? I'll give it to ya.

Really? You'll just give me your seat at the Square Table and go back to being a serf?

Sure. As it turns out, I signed up for the wrong serf club anyway.

[CAR HONKING]

Oh, there's my ride.

Cowabunga! Let's catch some waves, surf club.

Hey, you! What's your name?

I'm Leslie.

Your nephew.

Yes, Lester.

Where's Sir Bugs, the newest knight?

He's gone.

I'm the new newest knight.

Oh... Okay.

[GRUNTS]

-You've got an assignment. -[WHIMPERING]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS] Ugh!

[GROWLS ANGRILY]

Looks like the dragon is taking the...

-Night off. -[TRUMPET BLOWING]

Oh, Toots-a-lot!

Somebody crack a window. Yuck.

[BEEPS]

HAZMAT 1: How'd we get stuck stealing this crown from this art gallery?

These assignments Blooper gives us are the worst.

HAZMAT 2: Tell me about it Last week, I was on an island

with a pack of neurotic savages.

HAZMAT 1: Weren't you on a vacation with your family?

HAZMAT 2: Yup. They are real handful.

[SIGHS]

-[GROWLING] -HAZMAT 1: Do you hear something?

HAZMAT 2: Nah, that's just my stomach growling.

I'm gonna break into the cafeteria and grab a sandwich.

Hacking sure makes me hungry.

I'm inside the gallery.

The crown will soon be returned to its rightful owners.

HAZMAT 2: Hey, Gary, check it out!

They have roast beef...

-[GRUNTING] -[SCREAMING]

[THUDS]

HAZMAT 2: At least my sandwich is okay...

[GRUNTS]

This is double agent, Le Pew.

I will soon liberate the stolen jewels.

Right after I eat this delicious sandwich.

HAZMAT 1: Hey, that's not your sandwich.

-[GRUNTS] -I didn't see a name on it.

The crown!

Wait a minute. This is too easy.

-[SPRAYING] -[LASERS HUMMING]

A laser-guided alarm system.

Luckily, I am a former bronze medal winning Olympic gymnast.

-[BONES CRACKING] -Who hasn't worked out in a long time.

[ZAPPING]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[KISSES] A lady always comes prepared.

-Now to get the crown... -[LASER ZAPPING]

What the... Let go of the crown, skunk.

But then, I would have to let go of two beautiful things.

The crown and you.

Ugh. Your charms don't work on me.

The only charms I care about are on the crown.

-[GRUNTS] -[ALARM BLARING]

Ooh, the alarm is going off.

You're not going to leave me hanging, are you?

[GRUNTS]

Freeze. Drop the crown and put your hands up.

Now, turn around. Very slowly.

Now put your hands on your hips.

Perfect! Do not move a muscle.

Imagine you are on a beach,

watching a glorious sunset.

Now, imagine a handsome

debonair skunk is there with you.

Ah. Finis.

Did your imagination look something like this?

Ugh. I see the sun setting...

-[GRUNTS] -On our relationship!

HAZMAT 1: Hey, there they are!

HAZMAT 2: Ugh, Gary, this is why we can't sneak up on people.

-[EXCLAIMS] -[GRUNTS]

PEPE: Excuse me, madam.

I think you are forgetting something.

And if you want it, come and get me.

Come, cherie. Let us explore the weird video art

of the 1980's together.

It is true, the camera adds 10 pounds

of handsomeness.

-[GRUNTS] -[SMASHING]

You know, there are easier ways to change the channel.

-[EXCLAIMS] -[SMASHES]

Oh, my little couch potato,

relax and enjoy the views.

I don't mix business with pleasure.

-Usually, you watch TV. -[SMASHES]

But now TV is watching you.

[GRUNTS]

I'm not a fan of the idiot box.

[THUDS]

That woman is a real kick in the head, no?

This is Claudette. I have secured the crown and I'm headed back to base.

The crown!

HAZMAT 3: Hand over the crown.

HAZMAT 2: Well, she would if someone didn't shoot it over the roof.

HAZMAT 1: Guys! Guys!

Remember what we learned at the team building seminar?

Voila!Looks like I have saved the day

You haven't saved anything!

We are surrounded.

You're right.

This jet pack is not strong enough to carry both of us, my love.

What? I thought you were gonna give it to me!

And leave you alone? Never!

-[LASER FIRING] -[EXCLAIMS]

Mademoiselle...

I am not flirting with you. I am saving you from them.

HAZMAT 3: You missed him, Gary.

HAZMAT 3: I guess someone's really regretting missing that eye doctor appointment.

[CLAUDETTE EXCLAIMS]

-[GRUNTS] -[SLAPS]

-[SLAPPING] -[GRUNTING]

[SHOUTS]

Ha-ha!

Ugh.

[BOTH STRAINING]

-[GRUNTS] -Mmm?

Oh!

Ah!

[YELPS] My eye!

[GROUP GRUNTING]

Guys, I got it! Guys!

Oh.

[SHUDDERING]

[GROANS]

[THUDS]

We make a pretty great team. Right, baby?

Sorry, love. There is no "I" in "team."

But there is an "I" in, uh...

I have the crown! Goodbye!

They say if you love someone, set them free.

But if you really love someone...

-[DEVICE BEEPING] -Plant a tracking device on them.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]