Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Eureka! I've done it.

With these lithium powered rocket skates,

I'll be able to travel faster than ever before.

Now a five minute trip to the store will only take three minutes.

Really it's the little things, you know.

Now, to buy the lithium batteries that will power my skates.

Hmm.

"ACME now delivers instantly!" Ha!

That's not possible.

Well, I'm sure they don't mean "instant" instant.

Yeah, but not as quick as my lithium powered rocket skates, no doubt.

Okay, let's just see about that.

-Now, let's just see how instant-- [GASPS] -[DOORBELL RINGING]

[KNOCKING]

Impossible!

How can ACME deliver something so quick?

Beep, beep.

Beep, beep.

[STAMMERING]

[GASPS]

I don't know why,

but something deep inside

tells me I must destroy that bird.

This couldn't be easier.

All I have to do is order something

and that Road Runner comes right to my door.

With the help of my new lithium powered rocket skates,

it'll be bye bye birdy.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

Hmm, I can always use a motion detecting Electronet 3,000.

Now, to order and capture.

Beep, beep.

Beep, beep.

It's show time.

-[SHOES BEEP] -[ROCKETS FLARING]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

-[SHOES FIRING] -[GRUNTING]

-[GRUNTING CONTINUES] -[THUDDING]

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

[SCREAMS]

[MURMURING]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

-[THUDS] -Ow.

[WHISTLING]

[SCREAMS]

[WEAKLY] Must get these

skates off!

[GRUNTING]

I hope I kept the receipt for those batteries.

[GROANS]

-[BEEPING] -[LAUGHS]

-[PHONE BEEPS] -[LAUGHS]

Beep, beep!

-[KNOCKING] -Beep, beep!

What the...

[GROWLS]

[MURMURING]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[STRAINING]

Ha, ha!

Beep, beep!

[GROANING]

[ZAPPING]

-Beep, beep! -[SHRIEKS]

[GRUNTS]

Beep, beep!

Beep, beep!

Oh!

[GROANS]

Oh, that hurt.

[YELPS]

[BEEPS]

-Beep, beep! -[GRUNTS]

-Beep, beep! -[GRUNTS]

-Beep, beep! -[GRUNTS]

-Beep, beep! -[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

I think one more should do it.

Huzzah! Technology prevails.

Beep, beep!

[GRUNTING]

[YELPS]

[UNINTELLIGIBLE RAMBLING]

I have you now!

-Beep, beep! -[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

I'll get that bird if it's the last thing...

[GRUNTS]

[COUGHING]

As I was saying...

-I'll get that bird if... -[WHISTLING]

-[CRASHING] -[ROCKETS FLARING]

Ah. The planet Earth.

I would love nothing more than to conquer it.

Of course, before I initiate invasion protocols,

it might be wise to capture an inhabitant

so that I can study and exploit its weaknesses.

Oh, goody, goody!

And he's a lively one, too.

Now, to capture him with my transporter ray.

I love window shopping! Whoo...

...Hoo!

Oh, peachy! It worked!

Greetings, inferior life form.

Allow me to show your primitive brain around.

This is my replicator,

where I will make a Martian army to invade the Earth.

Martian army?

Boring!

I know, let's see if it'll replicate this cookie.

[ENERGY ZAPPING]

-Ooh... -Yes.

Very nice.

Let's move on.

Wait a minute, I wanna see it do it again.

-[ZAPPING] -Again.

-[ZAPPING] -Again.

Again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again!

Stop! Now my machine is filled with cookies.

Don't worry, boss, I'll clean it up.

[CHOMPING AND GULPING]

-Did you save me one? -Nope.

-[BURPS] -Oh!

These Earthlings are positively grotesque.

I'm doing the universe a favor by getting rid of them.

This is my Probulator.

It will find the nature of your internal structures,

-then... -[BLOWING]

Give me that!

-What does this do? Oops. -[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[POWERS DOWN]

Curious. It doesn't seem to be working.

I wonder if the kilowatt reader went down again.

[SHACKLES CLICKING]

[GROANING]

[WHIRRING]

-MARVIN: Hey! -[CRASHING]

So aggressive...

Please, Earthling,

-turn off the machine. -[WHIRRING CONTINUES]

[SHOUTING] Earthling! Turn off the machine!

Oh, gosh! Sorry, pal.

-[MACHINE POWERS DOWN] -[MURMURING]

Well, the good news is the machine is fully functional.

Yes, and the bad news is

the machine is fully functional.

Enough messing around.

It's time to put you into the Cerebro.

I will now peer into your sub conscience with my mind scanner,

and learn how to destroy your doomed species

from the inside out.

[STATIC BUZZING]

Whoo...

Hoo...

[SINGING]

[SLURPING]

-[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING] -[KISSES]

[GIGGLES]

Wild.

Oh, enough of this nonsense.

Hey, I was watching that.

You have to leave now!

Leave? But I just got here.

If you don't leave,

I'm afraid I'm going to have to...

-Ooh, cool toy. -That is not a toy!

That is my disintegration ray.

-[FIRING] -[GASPS]

-[ZAPPING] -[CRUMBLING]

Cool. Hey! What else you got around here?

No. No, no, no! Don't touch anything.

I haven't even used these cool juggling balls. Catch!

That's nitroglycerin!

[GRUNTING]

-Oh, thank good... -[EXPLODES]

Does everything in this place explode, or just you?

-Whoo! -[GRUNTS]

Check out this flat screen TV.

How do I get the football game on this thing?

[ENGINES REVVING]

[GRUNTING]

-[CLANGS] -DAFFY: Oopsie.

-[CLANGS] -I got it this time.

-[CLANGS] -Who put this moon here?

[CLANGS]

Hold on, didn't check my mirror.

-[CLANGING] -Like a pro!

-[CLANGS] -I think I got it now.

-[CLANGS] -I mean this time.

Man, there's so much for just one duck to mess with.

I wish there was a way to make more of me so I could...

Wait a minute.

There is!

-[ZAPPING] -[CHEERING]

Oh, dear. No!

GROUP: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

-Hey, Daffys, catch! -[EXPLODES]

[WHIRRING]

Hey, Daffy, could I try?

Sure thing, Daffy.

-[WHIRRING] -Make sure you get those back molars.

Oh, no. I've shrunk my Daffys.

Oh, well. Tumble dry low and hope for the best.

Isn't this great?

It's marvelous, you handsome devil, you.

-[LICKING] -[SCREAMS]

-I can't take it anymore! -[ZAPPING]

Protect the planet! Save the Earth!

-[ZAPPING] -Whoa!

Are you from outer space?

Oh, yes.

That is my spaceship.

[EXPLODES]

Well, that was my spaceship.

But it's much safer down here.

Oh, there you are.

-We are looking for you. -BOTH: So were we.

Say, do you like window shopping?

Whoa!

-Run for your life! -ALL: Whoo-hoo!

-The aliens are invading! -[ALL CHEERING]

DAFFY: Whoo-hoo!