Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTING]

Uh, sir, I [STUTTERING] don't think I can go any further.

[SLURPING]

We can't stop now.

The tomb of King Nutnamkhamen is close. I can feel it.

Whoa! [CRASHES]

[GRUNTS]

The only thing I'm feeling is thirsty.

-I need a break. -A break?

Did Lance Armstrong take a break before he walked on the moon?

[PORKY STAMMERS]

Did Aretha Franklin take a break before she discovered electricity?

[STUTTERING]

And the greatest archeologist of all time doesn't take a break either.

-Who is that? -Me, you nitwit!

Now, come on. We're burning daylight here.

[SQUELCHING]

Daffy, you're l-leading us into quicksand.

L-let go!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

PORKY: [STAMMERING] What happened? Where are we?

DAFFY: Hold on, I'll fire up a torch.

Hmm, someone wrote a bunch of emojis on this wall.

Uh, those aren't emojis, they're hierogly... [STAMMERS] They're hierogly... [STAMMERS]

They're ancient Egyptian writing.

I know what they are. Let's see here.

Owl, eagle, loaf, loaf.

Oval with a squiggly line over it.

Eh, what... What does it mean?

It means someone stepped in bird poop.

Ac-according to this, it means "Cursed be all you who enter here."

Give me a shave and call me Shirley.

Look at all this treasure! We're gonna be rich and famous!

-PORKY: B-but the curse... -Curses-shmurshes. There's no such thing.

[GASPS] [BLOWS OUT THE TORCH]

Hey! Turn the lights back on.

-[PORKY EXCLAIMS] -DAFFY: What is it with you?

[STUTTERS] Mummy!

Look, I want my Mommy, too but you've got to cut the cord!

Not Mommy. [STUTTERS] Mummy.

[ROARS]

Oh, mummy.

[GROWLS] Huh?

[ROARS]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[RETRO ARCADE MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS]

[EXCLAIMS DELIGHTEDLY]

We're getting out of here and taking this treasure with us.

I-I don't think the mummy wants us to do that.

Finders keepers. Losers...

Weepers.

[ROARS]

-[BOTH GULP] -Quick, you distract him while I fly to safety.

Oh... D-did you know this old tune?

♪ Oh, you're my b-beautiful bird

Flame broiled. Crispy. Extra crispy.

♪ My beautiful...

[ROARS]

How about a m-magic trick?

[CHUCKLES] Uh, what's that behind your... Oh... Ear?

Or [STAMMERS] at least where your ear used to be? [CHUCKLES]

Maybe I could take it from...

-[ROARS] -Oh, Porky, this isn't going very well.

-[ROARS] -[GASPS]

Hey, how'd you get across so easily?

[STUTTERS] Magic.

Ooh, I hate magic tricks.

Exotic, you said. Luxurious, you said.

This trip is n-not what I signed up for.

-Do you have mummy issues? -No.

Good.

-[ROARS] -[EXCLAIMS]

DAFFY: He's released the boulder-holder.

[LAUGHING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

Huh?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Where is it?

[ALL SCREAM]

Yes, we lost him.

Ha! Never seen a pig move that fast.

And you, nice work, fella.

Hey, I hate to be the guy to tell you this.

But someone TP'd your entire body...

[MUMMY GROANS]

Let's just tuck this in here.

[GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

G-get behind me, Mr. Duck. I'll protect you.

I've got the prescription to beat this Egyptian.

Stop hitting me with the scepter.

[DAZED] My name is Dorothy.

Oh, g-gosh, Mr. Duck, I...

[MUMMY ROARS]

-[EXCLAIMS] -[LAUGHS]

Have you seen my little dog?

[EXCLAIMS]

[EXCLAIMS]

Huh?

That's it, I've had it.

You come to my home, you burn all my things,

you run me over with a giant stone,

and now, you've ruined my only good set of bandages!

Look, chum. It's nothing personal,

it's our job, we're archeologists.

Yeah, we're... [STAMMERS] What he said.

Archeologists is just a fancy term for grave robbers.

-BOTH: Eh. -I just want you two to leave! So, what's it gonna take, huh?

You want jewels, artifacts? Here, take 'em. Take 'em and get out of here.

Just let me rest in peace!

Oh, and by the way, you're cursed! [EXCLAIMS]

Hey, we got away with the treasure after all.

Well, that's a fine barrel of scarabs.

We go through all that work and we get nothing. It's not fair-oh.

-[MUFFLED TALKING] -Oh no, the curse. It's true.

[MUFFLED TALKING]

Well, for you it's a curse, for me, it's a blessing. [LAUGHS]

'cause there's not a better cause than Earth.

It's time to educate these troglodytes.

-You enjoying that coffee, sir? -Yes, I am.

Did you know it takes 50 gallons of water

to grow enough beans to make one cup of coffee?

-That's it? -Shut your mouth!

Hey, you, blowing your nose. I hope you recycle that tissue.

Bundle it around some lavender and use it as a teabag, that's what I do.

-MAN: You're a jerk. -Oh, really?

If you want, I could recommend a website that will help you realize that you're the jerk.

Excuse me, sir. Do you have a minute to talk about the environment?

Boy, I say, boy, I thought you'd never ask.

FOGHORN: The environment is our most precious resource, son.

I say, I say, we all need to educate each other about the "Three R's."

-Oh, yeah. Reduce... -Quit interrupting me, boy!

It's disrespectful is what it is. Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah. The three R's. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

Well, I've even made up a little ditty that helps remind me of that.

Hey! Come back here, boy. I'm talkin' to you.

See, that's the problem with your generation, son. No attention span.

How are you ever gonna be able to commit to saving the environment,

when you can't even commit to listenin' to a fella.

It's not polite to walk away when your elders are talkin' to you, son.

Now, here's a list of my top 100 environmental concerns.

-One... -Sorry, I've gotta go.

I forgot to marinate my compost with kombucha.

I guess the algae in New Zealand can wait.

Oh, man. That rooster was something else.

No! No! No!

FOGHORN: Take it! Take it!

-[SCREAMS] -FOGHORN: Take it.

Take it, son. It's a low flow shower head.

I say, I say, you're wastin' an awful lot of water there, son.

Waste not, want not. That's what I always say.

Are you listenin' to me, son?

You say you're tryin' to save the environment but you're wastin' water

and we're in the middle of a drought.

You ever heard the phrase, "Think globally, act locally?"

Well, speakin' of acting locally, I went through your garbage.

Oof!

You gotta do a better job of recyclin' these, boy.

The news ain't good when you don't recycle that paper. Get it, son?

News and paper? Newspaper. It's a joke, son.

[EXCLAIMS]

Boy's slipperier than a buttered seal in a mud wrestlin' contest.

-[PANTING] -[TIRES SCREECHING]

Surprised to see the car you drive isn't more eco-friendly.

Ahh!

What's wrong, boy? You look like you've seen a ghost.

The only thing scary about this ride

is the high carbon emissions your car produces.

-[TIRES SCREECHING] -[GROANING]

Son, you are destroyin' the Earth's fragile ozone

with every push of that there gas pedal.

[GROANS] Speaking of, your foot is as lead-filled

as those toxic fumes emanating from your tail pipe.

[GROANS] Slow down, son.

-[TIRES SCREECHING] -Ah! [GROANS]

[MAN PANTING ANXIOUSLY]

[GRUNTS]

FOGHORN: Bottled water?

You never heard of a BPA-free reusable water bottle, son?

You know, these plastic ones do so much, I say, do so much damage.

-[EXCLAIMS] -Stand up straight, son.

How do expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself.

You ever heard of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, son?

It's a patch of trash, mostly plastic bottles in the Pacific Ocean.

That is about two times, I say, two times the size of Texas.

You ever been to Texas? Fun state. Lot of bull.

Boy, I say, boy. People just throw these away willy-nilly.

They wind up everywhere. All this bottle build-up is killin' the dolphins.

Can't you hear their cries?

"Help me, I'm a dolphin. Help me."

This here is a blowhole, son. They breathe out of it, talk out of it, too.

Try and keep up with me here, boy.

The only thing that this water's good for is puttin' out a fire.

Huh? Where'd he go?

The boy's like my in-laws when the check comes, always disappearin'.

[PANTING]

Aw, there you are, son!

Did you know that deforestation

is the biggest challenge for environmentalists?

-Pay attention, son. I'm still talking. -Huh?

Every day forests are destroyed. Which is a sad shame, really.

I mean, son, did you know oxygen comes from trees?

No trees, no oxygen. It's simple math.

-Oh, no! -Oh, yeah!

We'd use all this oxygen with our jibber-jabberin', talkin' and squawkin'

and breathin' and yakkin'.

Stop it, you're the one stealing all of our planet's precious gases.

You'll kill us all if you don't shut your beak!

[LAUGHS] Boy, I say, boy, that is rich coming from you.

You are hilarious.

Hilarious! [INHALES]

-[FOGHORN LAUGHING] -Oh, no! It's too late! The ecosystem is collapsing!

[FOGHORN LAUGHING]

Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!

I can't breathe. There's not much time.

If I could just start one more online petition there might be hope.

Hey, boy. Are you, I say, are you okay?

What? Where am I?

You passed out, son. You fainted.

You asked me to chitchat and I was talking to you and you just fell backwards.

Oh, no! No, no, no! Not you. You destroyed the Earth!

You took all the oxygen.

Oh, settle down, son. You're gonna hurt yourself.

Don't you wanna talk about the environment?

No! No, no, no. I don't ever wanna talk about the environment ever again.

I quit. Here, take my shirt. Take it all.

I just never wanna see you again!

[SCREAMS]

Oh, hello there. Do you have a moment to talk about the...

[SHUTTERS SLAM SHUT]