Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Still got it.

Well, Squeaks, we better get this piano ready to ship off to Albuquerque.

My nephew there can't wait to start his music lessons.

-Did you hear me? -[MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES]

Start packing, Squeaks.

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

Of course, I thought of that. That's why I rented that.

Our very own 18-wheeler.

This baby's got a 16-liter, 400 horsepower engine.

A wide, spacious cabin and, of course, my favorite...

[HORN BLARING]

Well, just don't stand there. Load her up.

[GROWLING]

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

Engine's ready.

-[HORN BLARES] -[GASPS AND PANTS]

Time to put the pedal to the metal.

And we're off.

MAN OVER RADIO: Breaker one niner, breaker one niner.

Anybody got their ears on out there?

This is Bugs Bunny. My ears are always on. You can't miss 'em.

MAN: You might wanna watch your speed there, good bunny.

There's a Smokey in the bushes up ahead.

What? A Smokey? So, there's a fire ahead?

MAN: No, a Smokey, a Kojak, The Fuzz, Five-0, Padfoot,

Gum Shoe, Booze and Twos County Mounty, the Donut Patrol.

[TALKING GIBBERISH IMITATING SIREN WAILING]

Oh, a policeman.

MAN: That's what I said. There's a policeman in the bushes up ahead.

Hmm, that truck is doing the legal speed limit of 55 miles per hour.

Well, just 'cause someone's following all the posted speed limits,

don't mean I can't give him a ticket.

Yee-haw!

I don't see any policeman.

Ah, must have been a false alarm.

Let's play some tunes.

♪ We're gonna ride it at the law

♪ We're gonna ride until we're free ♪

-[SIREN WAILING] -Hey, you. Pull over.

Ya got till the count of three to pull...

[CLANGS]

[SIREN BEEPING]

I'm all right. Just a few bumps.

[GRUNTS, YELLS]

I'm all right. Just a few cactus needles.

-[SNAKE HISSING] -Oh!

I'm all right. Just a snake bite.

[GROWLING, SNARLING]

Nice doggies. [WHISTLING SOFTLY]

[GROWLING]

I'm all right.

Just a few dog bites.

Oh, man.

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

I'm not all right.

We'll see how that rabbit gets away from me after these spikes pop his tires.

[SNICKERING]

Here he comes now.

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

This is my exit?

Well, how about a little more warning next time?

Huh? [EXCLAIMS]

I'm gonna get that rabbit. [GRUNTS]

[AIR WHOOSING]

Fric and fracken, good-for-nothing, no good spikes.

Oh, that rabbit is on my last... [GRUNTS]

Yep, that was the wrong exit. Whoops, hang on.

I had the map upside down.

Gonna take more than one little truck to keep me... [GRUNTS]

Two trucks might do it.

-[TALKING GIBBERISH] -Exit 1A?

-Well that's in the other direction. -[TIRES SCREECHING]

I've gotta make a four-point turn.

[GROANS, GRUNTS]

Three trucks. [GRUNTS]

-[TIRES SCREECHING] -[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

Let's see that rabbit outrun this giant super magnet.

[GRUNTING]

[SNICKERING]

Come to Papa.

-[HORN BLARES] -[GASPS]

[GULPS]

Whoa!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[EXHALES] I think the worst is over.

No, it isn't! [GRUNTING]

[GASPS] Huh?

Plane. Satellite.

Ow! Beam me up, Scotty.

Since I can't stop that rabbit in the road,

I'll stop him in the air,

with this here helicopter.

Excuse me. Do you know which road leads to Albuquerque?

It's the second exit on your right.

-Thanks. -Anytime, rabbit. That's my job.

Rabbit? Gosh darn it.

You're mine, rabbit.

[BLADES WHIRRING]

I got ya now.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey!

[HELICOPTER BLADES SQUEAKING]

[BLOWING]

Spin, spin, spin. Hey, it's working.

-It's working. It's work... -[CRASHING]

SAM: Now I'm out of my jurisdiction.

Thank goodness.

[STRAINING] Squeaks, a little help here.

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

[GRUNTING]

[STRAINING] Made it.

Nephew, I lugged this piano all the way across the country so you could play it.

Eh, thanks anyway, Uncle Bugs, but I play the violin now.

[VIOLIN MUSIC]

Sheesh, that kid plays any faster, he's gonna get a ticket.

[GUNSHOT]

ANNOUNCER: And they're off.

And so begins the Whole Buncha Countries Games,

where a whole bunch of countries come together

to compete in a whole bunch of games.

[GRUNTING]

I made it. Hollywood, California.

The land of suntan, swimming pools... [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] Huh?

ANNOUNCER: A new world record.

You're taking home the gold.

[GRUNTS] It's my gold, rabbit. Give it to me.

-Who are you? -I am Cal,

the greatest track and field athlete of all time.

And this is my zone,

my Cal zone.

Well, you win some, you lose some, doc.

Not me, I never lose.

That medal is mine because I am a winner.

I'm such a big winner, my face is everywhere.

Cereal boxes, doggy treats, even chewable laxatives.

[CHUCKLING] What? Everybody poops.

Hmm, so are you saying this isn't Hollywood, California?

But I wanted to see stars.

You want to see stars?

I'll show you stars.

[CLANGS]

Those are not the stars I was talking about.

-[GUNSHOT] -ANNOUNCER: And they're off.

[PANTING, GRUNTING]

Bet you can't win the race backwards.

[GRUNTS] I can win in any direction you choose. See?

How about on your tippy toes?

Not a problem.

Like a Russian folk dancer?

Da.Just watch, darling.

Well, I bet you can't win smashing through all the hurdles.

Just try and stop me.

[HURDLES CRASHING]

Eh, not bad.

[LAUGHING] I told you I would win.

ANNOUNCER: And the winner i Bugs Bunny.

Huh?

[CROWD CHEERING]

What? The rabbit won?

But how?

Those are the rules, champ.

You get disqualified if you break all the hurdles.

You may have beaten me at all the hurdles,

but let us see if you can beat me at the discus.

[GRUNTING]

Gnarly throw, bro. Back at ya.

I'm ready for my med... Oh! [GRUNTS]

[GROANS, GRUNTS]

Why, you!

[GRUNTS]

Bodacious arm, Brosius.

You throw a mean disk.

Try this on for size.

I am waiting for my medal. Oh!

[GRUNTING]

Hey, Throw Springsteen.

That throw was boss. Go deep.

[GASPS, PANTING] Oh!

[CAL ON JUMBOTRON]: Cal's chewable laxatives.

Get your runners to the finish line.

ANNOUNCER: After throwing the discus out of the stadium,

the winner is Bugs Bunny.

Whoa, sweet necklace.

How does the rabbit keep winning?

Two words.

Fried chicken.

Eats buckets and buckets of fried chicken before every event.

I should know. I trained him.

And I can train you, too.

Yes, yes, train me.

Okay, but you're gonna have to work harder than you ever have before.

[GULPS]

BUGS: That's it, kid.

[MUNCHING]

Eat, eat. Stuff it down your throat.

Chew, chew, chew. Swallow, swallow, swallow.

-What are you, tired? -[GAGS]

You can't be tired.

If you wanna win you gotta eat like there is no tomorrow.

If he keeps eating like this, there won't be.

One and two, one and two. Up, down, up, down.

These chickens ain't gonna eat themselves, pretty boy.

[GULPING, GAGGING]

You got it.

You got the eye of the chicken.

Now, go throw this javelin.

[GROANING]

You call that a throw?

All right, watch this, kid. [GRUNTS]

ANNOUNCER: Bugs Bunny wins the javelin.

-Yay! -[CROWD CHEERING]

Huh? [GRUNTING]

You are mine, rabbit.

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

[YELLING]

[GROWLING, GRUNTING]

Ah! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

[GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMING]

[CLANGS]

Can I borrow this for just a second?

Give me that, rabbit.

Get out of my zone.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

There it is, finally.

I can banish this rabbit.

No!

ANNOUNCER: And it's Bugs Bunny by a hair.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Bugs Bunny has won every event

in the Whole Buncha Countries Games.

[CROWD CHEERING]

No! [CRYING]

Those are my medals.

They should be in my zone.

Mine!

[BLOWS NOSE]

Obviously, he doesn't realize that nobody meddles with a rabbit.